TW: Murder

Kabanata 9

"Sure," I agreed and held his hand. "Papakasalan kita pero si CL muna, pwede ba 'yon?"

Agad na nagkaroon ng yupi ang kan'yang noo. Seryoso ang kan'yang titig sa akin. His perfectly trimmed brows rose because of what I've said.

"What the heck? Hindi ako papayag! Dapat ako lang 'yong asawa mo."

"Ha? Pwede naman dalawang marriage certificate." giit ko.

"Lavender!" naiinis na saad ni Etienne. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Napalingon pa nga siya sa marriage booth bago bumaling muli sa akin.

"I want to be the only one." matabang n'yang sabi.

"Pero. . ." my lips protruded but I eventually gave up and soughed. "Fine. Next year ko na lang papakasalan si CL."

May marriage booth pa naman siguro next year pero nasa grade eleven na si CL no'n. Hindi ko rin alam kung magkikita pa kami dahil ang balita ko ay mahirap ang grade eleven kumpara sa junior highschool.

Nangislap ang mga mata ni Etienne sa tuwa, he even hugged me. At hindi ko alam kung paano n'ya napapayag na sumingit kami para mauna kaming ikasal. CL and Yna were not there anymore. Parang binagsak ang puso ko dahil doon. I don't know where they went but . . .

"Lavy?" Etienne gently held my hand to get my attention. Ang mga mata n'ya ay nagsusumamo nang tumama ito sa aking paningin.

I smiled back at him.

"Tara, magpakasal na tayo, as friends." anyaya ko na nagbigay ng dahilan para bumusangot si Etienne.

We went to the marriage booth and exchange written vows since we can't make our own. May time limit lang kasi ang marriage booth na ceremony at mas hinahabol talaga ang marriage certificate. Tuwang-tuwa si Etienne nang makuha ang certificates namin. Hindi kalayuan ay nakita ko si Snyder at Euan na nanonood sa aming dalawa.

"Congrats, may honeymoon din ba kayo?" Euan asked, nakapangalumbaba siya sa isang steel bench. Snyder on the other hand looks bored, as always.

"Friendly honeymoon," Snyder sneered.

"Kinasal lang kami as friends," pag-amin ko. Bumungisngis si Euan dahil sa narinig at malakas naman na tumawa si Snyder. Etienne glared at them, shooting them daggers using his gaze.

"Kinasal pa rin kami!" giit ni Etienne na parang bata.

"As friends!" dugtong ni Snyder at humawak pa sa kan'yang tyan para ipakita kung paano siya natutuwa. "Pota, ano 'yon? Friendly asawa ka n'ya?"

"At least kasal!" Etienne gathered air inside his mouth, inflating his cheeks in the process. Napipikon.

Ngumuso naman ako. That's right, at least, we still got 'married' even if it's platonic. Lumipad ang paningin ko sa marriage certificate namin at nakalagay nga rito ang apilyedo na gusto ko. Soteiro. Yet, it's not the same Soteiro that I want.

It's okay. Hindi naman 'yon seryoso at masyado pa naman talaga kaming bata. I soughed, sayang lang talaga.

Natapos ang araw na 'yon na nakakapit si Etienne sa akin kahit wala na 'yong handcuffs, he was indeed in his best state compare to the previous days that I have observed him. I looked at my wrist as Etienne held my hand tightly, our fingers slowly intertwining. Nasa likuran lang namin si Snyder at Euan na parang mga buntot kung sumunod sa amin.

"Euan, ano 'yong sinabi mo kanina? Ano 'yong kink?" I asked in curiosity. Etienne halted his steps.

Sumipol si Euan at maarteng inalis ang tikwas ng buhok sa kan'yang noo. "Ewan ko rin. Turo lang 'yon ng tutor ni Etienne sa programming. Nakalagay kasi 'yon sa isang notebook n'ya."

I stiffened. Etienne's tutor? Kahit si Etienne ay natigilan. His warm hands immediately felt glacial at the mere mention of his tutor. And at that moment, I realized that Etienne was afraid of something or someone.

"Ano?"

"I said, it was from his tutor. Sinasabi n'ya ito sa amin ni Snyder pero hindi naman ako interesado. And Snyder is also just curious too. Akala namin ay alam mo na dahil nilagyan mo ng handcuff si Etienne." Euan said, not even blinking.

Ang lakas ng kabog ng puso ko. Pakiramdam ko ay may binubuo akong puzzle at unti-unti na itong nagkakaroon ng larawan. However, I don't like the image that it's trying to form.

Sa pag-uwi ko ay dumiretso ako sa study hall namin. Kuya Adren was there but he immediately went away when he saw me. Hindi ko na 'yon masyado pinansin. Hindi na ako nakapag-hintay na malaman ang salitang 'yon. I searched it and my heart dropped at the mere sight of that word. Ilang beses akong napakurap nang mabasa ito.

The word itself shouldn't be searched. It was a wrong move.

I was disturbed upon learning that word. It wasn't for kids. Definitely not for our age. It's not even for everyone. Isang beses ko lang itong tiningnan sa search bar at napamura ako. It was only the definition, I wasn't brave enough to check pictures or videos.

Ano itong tinuturo n'ya sa mga bata? At ilang beses na silang dalawa lang ni Etienne ang nasa loob ng kwarto nito? Para akong pinanawan ng kulay sa mukha habang unti-unting humilig sa swivel chair ko.

I'm going to report this to Tita Ellise. Hindi ako papayag na kung anu-ano pa ang ituro n'ya kay Etienne. This could escalate into a bigger trouble. Dapat na ito matigil.

I decided to call Etienne before reporting it. I wanted to know if he was okay or I at least wanted to comfort him.

"Lavy?" pambungad n'ya sa akin. My cheeks blushed. Habang tumatagal ay lalong lumalalim ang boses ni Etienne.

Napalunok ako at napakamot sa aking ulo. Puberty will do him good, I bet. Ngayon pa lamang ay naghahari na ang kakisigan at kagwapuhan n'ya kaya naman hindi 'yon imposibleng mangyari.

"Can we talk?"

"Nagu-usap na tayo?" he sounded sarcastic so my brows furrowed.

"Pinipilosopo mo ba ako, Etienne?"

"H-hindi, I was just saying. . ." his voice recoiled. I can only laughed and dismissed his fear.

"I mean, personally," Tumikhim ako. "Pwede ka bang puntahan ngayong gabi?"

"B-bakit. . ."

I couldn't tell him abruptly so I decided to just play around.

"Miss kita," I said and followed it with a chortle. "Yie, kinilig si totoy!"

"Lavender!" Etienne hissed harshly. Narinig ko ang paggalaw ng isang lamesa. Natisod pa 'yata si Etienne.

"For pete's sake, stop frustrating me. . ." he mumbled, inertly.

"I'm not even doing anything yet."

"That's right," Etienne grunted out, sounding frustrated. "You're doing nothing but I'm still fucking affected. . ."

"Yie, feeling ko crush mo ako." I jeered once again. "Bawal 'yon, type ko ang pinsan mo. Hindi tayo talo. Pero pupwede ka bang puntahan ngayong gabi?"

"Fine," he huffed, disheartened. "Palagi ka naman nasusunod."

I grinned and immediately took myself to the bathroom to freshen up. Pumili lang ako ng simpling dark blue na blouse at denim pants. I took some pearls to decorate myself. At nagpahatid na rin papunta sa mansion ng mga Soteiro.

Hindi naman nagtaka ang mga Soteiro nang dumating ako roon kahit alas-diyes na nang gabi. Etienne in his robe almost gave me a heart attack. He looks disheveled but handsome at the same time. His growth is also visible even from afar. Napasapo pa ako sa aking dibdib bago tuluyang pumanhik sa itaas dahil hinihintay n'ya ako.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice laced with boredom.

"Doon tayo sa kwarto mo, may itatanong lang ako." agap ko.

He gradually nodded even if he looked hesitant. He didn't question me as we walked towards his grand room. Iba talaga kapag miracle child. Halata na siya ang paborito dahil sa laki ng kan'yang kwarto.

"Etienne, may hindi ka ba sinasabi sa akin?" pambungad ko. Agad na nagsalubong ang kan'yang mga kilay.

"Tungkol saan?"

I inhaled some air before finally speaking up. "Is your tutor teaching you sexual acts?"

Hindi agad nakasagot si Etienne. There was an eerie atmosphere as time slowly moves. He echoed my sigh as he gradually shook his head.

"No," he affirmed. "Please, let's not talk about it."

"Euan said something about her teaching some malicious sexual acts by mentioning something that shouldn't even be in your dictionary yet." angil ko kay Etienne. "Anong ibig mong sabihin na hindi?"

"I c-can't stop her, Lavy. Hindi pa naman n'ya ginagawa sa akin 'yong mga 'yon at saka m-malapit naman na akong matapos sa sessions ng tutoring namin. I just have to learn a few more codes and we're done," he explained. Pilit na iniiwas ang sarili.

"Is she hurting you?" I asked, out of concern. Naalala ang burn marks na nakita ko noon.

Etienne shifted his gaze once again. "She's not doing the worst things. . ."

"Still! Sinasaktan ka n'ya!" pagalit kong hiyaw. Etienne's eyes sharpened at my tone. Agad naman akong napa-buntonghininga.

"There are better tutors, I could find someone else. You don't have to suffer just to learn codes, Etienne. At para saan ba ang paga-aral mo riyan? Are you really interested in it?"

I know EIJE is connected to modern technology but his eagerness to learn coding makes me question for what purpose? Kung halos sila na ang naghahari pagdating sa teknolohiya sa bansa. No company is better than EIJE when it comes to technologies.

"I'm trying to find someone, okay? And please, trust me on this."

"Etienne. . ."

He smiled, crestfallen. "I appreciate your concern, Lavender."

"You're my friend." I said. Lumapit ako sa kan'ya at hinawakan siya sa kan'yang mukha. He held my hand as I touched his cheeks. Napapikit siya.

"I'll do anything to save you," saad ko habang bumababa ang kamay sa kan'yang balikat. I slowly enveloped my arms around him. "I love you, Etienne. And I won't let anyone hurt you."

Etienne wasn't able to move. I love him as a friend and he's my top priority. Kaya kong iwan ang karangyaan, ang kilalang pamilya at ang buhay ni Solstice para sa tahimik na buhay kasama si Mama at Etienne. I can't leave him but at the same time I know that my heart yearns for CL Soteiro. I can only have platonic love for Etienne.

He buried his face on my neck and I felt his tears on my skin.

"I don't need saving, Lavy. . ." he whispered gently as his nose touches my skin. "But I need you. Please don't abandon me. . ."

Mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang yakap sa kan'ya. We're still young but we already have to suffer this much. Hindi ko alam kung bakit n'ya pinagpipilitan ang matuto sa tutor na 'yon. Nanggagalaiti ako pero kailangan kong maging kalmado.

I have to tell this to Tita Ellise and make sure that the tutor will be jailed for a long time. The abuse that Etienne went through shouldn't be ignored.

That was my initial plan.

It was supposed to end that day.

Ngunit sa paglaro ng kapalaran, hindi talaga kami pinagbibigyan. Papunta na dapat ako sa mansion ng mga Soteiro nang maabutan ko si Dayanara na may kausap. Danayara looked nervous talking with someone who had a briefcase with him. Pormal silang naka-upo sa salas.

Sanay ako na may kausap sila tungkol sa negosyo ngunit hindi ko naman ito naiintindihan. Si Kuya Adren ang kadalasan na sinasama sa mga conference at mga meetings.

"Are you sure? She's dead?" marahas ang tinig ni Dayanara. Kumakabog sa kaba ang puso ko. Sino? Namatay?

This wasn't the first time. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ko ang nangyari kay Solstice. At alam ko naman na hindi 'yon ang unang beses na may kinuha silang buhay ngunit walang nakulong.

Ang buhay ng mga pobre para sa mga sakim na mayayaman ay parang pangangailangan lamang. They could buy it. They could use their resources to cause misfortune and luck to bestow on them. Kaya nilang gawing hayop ang isang taong nabubuhay sa salapi. Kaya naman kadalasan ay lumalaki ang kompiyansa nila na tila ba hawak nila ang mundo sa kanilang mga palad.

That's the case for the Reverios. Ang tanging kilala ko na hindi gagawa no'n sa loob ng bahay namin ay si Kuya Adren. He had always been aloof but I could sense that he has principles.

"Hinahanap pa rin ba n'ya ang anak n'ya?" Dayanara asked which triggered my curiosity more. Unti-unti akong napalapit sa direksyon nila.

Dayanara was seating on one of the fancy seats on our receiving area. At hindi tulad noon na simple lang ang kan'yang pananamit, she showered herself with branded luxuries. Nakapatong ang kan'yang ulo sa kan'yang kamay habang pinapakinggan ang kausap n'ya.

"Sinunog ni Ernesto si Lucilla sa sobrang selos." anang babae at may nilabas sa kan'yang briefcase. Nagtatahip ang puso ko sa hilakbot. Napatda ako sa aking kinatatayuan.

Dayanara's eyes swayed over the papers that the woman laid on the coffee table. A small smile carefully forming in her lips.

Hindi malabo ang mga mata ko kaya kitang-kita ko ang mga dokumentong nakalapag doon. Nanglamig ang mga kamay ko habang pinapasadahan ito ng tingin. My eyes went misty as I saw a lifeless body of a woman and a familiar dress.

Si Mama. . .

"Tumakas daw si Ernesto at hanggang ngayon ay pinaghahanap ito ng mga pulis." the woman reported to Dayanara who was smirking, she looled rather satisfied.

"Bury the issue," pagmamando ni Dayanara. "Hayaan n'yo na hindi pagbayaran ni Ernesto 'yon. Lucilla deserved it."

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" I squeaked as I trudged towards them. Napalingon silang dalawa sa akin. Nag-iwas ng tingin 'yong babaing kausap ni Dayanara.

"You don't have to worry, Solstice. Wala na ang gugulo sa iyo. Ni hindi ko na nga kailangan ipaligpit dahil may gumawa na nito. I didn't even have to do any dirty work." aniya.

My eyes winced. Paulit-ulit akong umiling. Nagbabadya ang mga luha. Hindi 'yon totoo at hindi 'yon maaari.

Si Mama. . .

"Sayang lang dahil natunton ka na n'ya. Mabuti na lamang at si Ernesto na mismo ang gumawa ng paraan upang di siya makalapit sa iyo." Halakhak ni Dayanara. "Dapat ay nakuntento na siya sa buhay probinsya! Balak n'ya pa akong agawan ng pamilya!"

"Hindi 'yon gagawin ni Mama. . ." bahagyang hikbi ko at umiling muli. "Mabait si Mama, Dayanara. At kahit kailan ay hindi ginusto ni Mama na manghila pababa ng kapwa n'ya."

"I know my sister well. Wala na siyang ginawa kung hindi agawin ang dapat sa akin. Mabuti na lang at payapa na siya ngayon." Ngumisi siya at pinagdaop ang kan'yang kamay. "Hindi na sila magkikita ni Alfos."

Bakit sinisisi n'ya si Mama kung magustuhan ito ni Alfos? Why is she putting the blame on her?

Tumayo si Dayanara at marahas na kinulong ang aking pisngi gamit ng kan'yang mga palad.

"Kita mo 'yon? Fate is with me. Kaya huwag mo akong subukan, be a faithful servant to Mareena and me as we conquer this household. You understand? Wala kang kakampi rito," banta n'ya sa akin bago ako pakawalan.

Nanginginig ako sa hilakbot. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito.

Tuliro akong pumanhik sa aking kwarto at tuluyan nang umiyak. I cried hard even if the sun is already down. Nagulat ako sa sunud-sunod na tawag ni Etienne.

Etienne is calling. . .

Ang pintig ng puso ko ay tuloy-tuloy lamang sa pagkabog nang mabilis dahil sa aking pag-iyak. Kinakapos ako sa paghinga dahil sa nangyari kay Mama at dahil wala akong magawa. Kapag umalis ako rito, paano kung ako ang ipaligpit? Dayanara is not on her right sanity.

Hindi ko makukuha ang hustisya para kay Mama. I have to stay here for as long as I can. Gagamitin ko ang lahat ng koneksyon nila laban sa kanila. if I have to tore this Reverio clan to bits in order to have justice for Mama, I would.

Etienne is calling. . .

Napalingon ako sa aking cellphone. I lifelessly denied his call.

And looking back, I should have answered that call from Etienne.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜