Kabanata 6

In most cases, the most treacherous act doesn't come from your worst enemy; it comes from your most beloved, from someone you entrusted your heart and soul with.

"Etienne, magusap tayo."

Sinundan ko ang bilis ng kan'yang mga hakbang. This is the third day of my persuasion, kahit nga hanggang bahay nila ay sinusundan ko siya subalit walang palya n'ya ako'ng iniiwasan. He would even fabricate having a flu just to avoid me. Napatiim bagang naman ako. Really. His grudge against me was too deep.

He would even choose to go to the clinic and skip class just not to see me. Gano'n kalalim ang nararamdaman n'ya sa akin. I couldn't fathom the depth of it.

"I'm sick, Lavender." aniya, hindi man lamang ako tinapunan ng isang tingin. Diretso ang kan'yang mga mata sa kan'yang nilalakaran. His steps didn't even falter.

"Nagtatampo ka ba?"

"No," he sternly answered.

Ah, nagtatampo nga.

"Gusto mo ba ng Cherry Grandfather?"

It was his favorite candy; it was a nougat kind of sweet. Madalas n'ya itong kinakain kapag naiinis siya, it's chewy so it calms him while he's in the process of finishing it. It was no use, mas lalo lamang n'yang binilisan ang kan'yang lakad patungo sa pinakamalayong gusali sa amin, balak n'ya pa 'yata pumunta sa College of Nursing na clinic. It was evident that he was avoiding me and I have no idea how to make it up to him.

I let out a tired breath. Mali naman talaga ako at kailangan ko sigurong tanggapin na baka nga mahihirapan na ako'ng ayusin ang pagka-kaibigan naming dalawa. I turned my heels around and proceeded to go back to our class.

Hindi naman mababaw 'yong nararamdaman n'ya. Kahit ako siguro ay magtatampo kung may inuuna ang kaibigan ko sa akin. His feelings were hurt because I promise him that I'll put him first which didn't happen. Maybe our intentions without proper actions can cause miscommunications; tulad na lamang nito. I never intended to hurt him but I still did.

Sa paglipas ng panahon ay mas nangulila ako kay Etienne. He used to always stick around me, ngunit ngayon ay mas madalas na n'yang kasama ang computer n'ya. He doesn't even go out anymore, palagi na siyang nakakulong sa kan'yang kwarto.

"Si Etienne po, Tita?" tanong ko kay Tita Ellise nang bisitahin ko sila sa kanilang mansion.

Tita Ellise was busy preparing flowers on her artistic vases imported from Greece. Nabudol na naman siguro siya ng mga mayayaman n'yang kaibigan. I simply shook my head to dismiss the idea. It was always like this, bumibili sila ng mga hindi nila kailangan at kung ano lang ang uso. No'ng una ay nanghihinayang pa ako ngunit napagtantuan ko na pera naman nila 'yon. It will always be their decision on how they will spend it.

"He's trying to learn how to code e, hindi na 'yon lumalabas ng kwarto n'ya."

"E? Wala po ba siyang ibang kasama?"

"He's with his tutor," aniya.

"Sa kwarto? Sila lang pong dalawa?"

Hindi ko napigilan ang pagkunot ng noo ko sa sagot ni Tita Ellise. She gradually nodded and halted her fingers from positioning the flowers on the bases. Nilinga n'ya ang aking direksyon at nagpahayag ng pagtataka gamit ng kan'yang mga mata.

"Are you worried about something, Solstice?"

"Wala naman po," agad akong umiling. It is just I'm not familiar with his tutor yet. Malimit ko nga lang itong makita at kadalasan ay nagmamadali itong umalis. She's a middle-aged woman so she's probably busy.

My plans were futile since Etienne doesn't even bother to go out. Hindi ko inakala na aabot ng ilang linggo ang pagtatampo n'ya sa akin. Maybe I was too confident that Etienne couldn't bear a grudge against me.

Sinulat ko na lamang sa mga sulat ko kay Mama ang mga nararamdaman ko. Tuwing gabi o kaya'y tuwing nalulungkot ako ay sumusulat ako ng mga liham para kay Mama. Although we're apart from each other, alam ko naman na darating ang araw na magu-usap at magkakasama muli kami. Even if it means I need to swim across the oceans, I would find her. I would do anything to be with her again.

Matatapos na ang school year ngunit hindi pa rin ako kinikibo ni Etienne. Dumating pa nga sa punto kung saan palagi ko siyang pinipili bilang kagrupo ngunit binabalewala n'ya lamang ang presensya ko. In my defense, I was really regretting the mistake that I did. Pero ano naman ang magagawa ko kung ayaw n'ya ako kausapin? How would I explain my side? If he's deaf to my explanations?

"Congrats, Soteiro. You're qualified for the special science class."

Pinuri sa harapan si Etienne ng aming adviser. Not everyone is eligible for that class, may mga grade requirements kasi na dapat maabot upang makasama sa klase na 'yon. Hindi ako naging kasama roon dahil sa hindi naman ako kagalingan sa math. Isa rin kasi 'yon sa mga tinitingnan para sa science class. I snickered because why is it called as science class if it's not all about science? Or maybe I was just bitter that I wasn't included in the list.

"Thank you po," Etienne expressed his gratitude. Subalit hindi ito umaabot sa kan'yang mga mata, makulimlim ang kan'yang tingin sa aming lahat. It's probably because he was expecting for everyone to be eligible or at least half of the class. Hindi naman 'yon ang nangyari.

"Your final examination will be your final requirement for you to enter the special science class, so do your best." Paalala ng adviser namin kay Etienne. Only Etienne nodded with dismay, hindi nga talaga siya natutuwa — he even looked like he wanted to protest.

"Hey," bati ko kay Etienne. I went towards his seat and sat on his desk. Agad na umangat ang tingin n'ya sa akin, his grey eyes evinced his dismay for the results. He has always been transparent.

"Congrats, Etienne. Galingan mo roon, I'll be rooting for you."

"Hindi ka talaga kasama?" he asked, out of the blue.

Agad akong umiling bilang sagot.

"My scores in our math class weren't qualified, pero masaya naman na ako rito. You, on the other hand, deserve to be placed in that class."

Etienne is intelligent. Actually, he possessed a higher IQ compared to our year level. Yet, he never boasts about it. Kahit sino ay wala namang nakaramdam na minamaliit kami ni Etienne at kahit pa galing siya sa mayaman na pamilya, he doesn't really use it for his advantage. Hindi na ako nagtataka, Tita Ellise is very kind and humble too. At kahit naman si Tito ay hindi rin masama ang ugali, although he rarely appear in events and our interactions are limited to almost none.

And I guess, Etienne forgave me even without an apology. Sa isang kurap ay nagmistulang bula ang naging kasalanan ko sa kan'ya. Kahit gusto kong humingi ng tawad, my tongue won't cooperate. Okay naman na kami e. Hindi na nga n'ya inuungkat ang nangyari sa competition n'ya.

"Hindi ka na nagi-ice skating?" tanong ko habang nasa isang bench kami malapit sa field, pinapanood si CL kasama ang mga kalaro nito.

I didn't expect Etienne to be casual about it. Akala ko ay magmamaktol siya o kung ano ngunit nanatili siyang kalmado. He probably rationalized the situation that everything was just a huge misunderstanding. Wala sa amin ang may gusto ng nangyari.

"Hm. . ." Etienne looked hesitant as he browses through the pages of his programming book.

Napalingon naman ako sa kan'ya. I wanted to know if I can still make it up to him. Alam ko naman na hindi rin biro ang naging ensayo n'ya roon. At saka, isa 'yon sa mga alam kong hilig n'ya talaga.

"Hindi na. . ." Etienne answered briefly, ang mga mata'y nakatuon pa rin programming book na hawak n'ya. I bit the straw on my drink.

"Sayang naman."

"It's not practical anyway, most of the competitions are outside the country too. At iilan lang naman ang mayroong rink sa Pilipinas."

I couldn't refute his claims. Mas alam naman n'ya talaga ang estados ng sports na pinasukan n'ya. Binaba ko ang hawak kong milk shake sa aking tabi. My eyebrows furrowed as I rested my head on his shoulders, bahagyang nanigas sa kinauupuan n'ya si Etienne. He gradually relaxed upon realizing it was me.

"You can afford it though? You can go overseas. Bakit ayaw mo?"

"Sasama ka ba?" tanong n'ya sa mahinang tono, it caught me offguard. Bakit kailangan kasama ako?

"Hindi."

"Exactly. That's why I don't want to."

"You can't revolve your life around me, Etienne. Balang araw ay iiwan mo rin ako." I told him, slowly removing myself from my previous position. Humarap ako sa kan'ya, his eyes lingered on me momentarily before he suspired.

"I'm not gonna leave you, Lavy." He drew closer to me, our noses almost touching. Medyo napapitlag ako dahil doon. Lalo na dahil seryoso ang kan'yang titig. His grey eyes illuminating a different glint.

"Ikaw ba? Will you leave me?" his breath almost tickled me. Agad ako'ng umiwas ng tingin.

"Well, syempre hindi. Pero sa paglaki natin, we'll eventually need to be apart from each other. Lalo na at iba ang tatahakin nating landas."

"I don't want us to be apart from each other. . ." he jutted out his lips. I could only sigh, he's really just a child.

I could hear the loneliness in his tone. Agad na lumamlam ang aking mga mata at hinawakan siya sa kan'yang kamay. His hands were as cold as I could remember. I gently squeezed it.

"I won't leave you if it doesn't make you happy. I'll only leave if my absence means your happiness, Etienne."

Marami na ako'ng nagawang mali sa kan'ya. Alam ko na halos mabababaw ito para sa iba pero sobra akong iniingatan ni Etienne. I could feel it; he really looks up to me. At ayoko naman na magkaroon ako ng utang na loob sa kan'ya. He's a dear one to me.

My mouth formed a quick 'o' because I was surprised with his sudden movement, Etienne smiled and move his cheeks on my palms. A small smirk materializing in his face.

"Lavy, did you know that one of the worst computer viruses that was created in the world originated in the Philippines?"

"Hm? Ano naman 'yon?" I asked, curious with the sudden information.

"Did you know what was it called?"

"Ano?"

He gradually closes the remaining distance between us. His lips reaching out to my ear.

"I love you. . ." he murmured, ardentlty. "It was the ILOVEYOU virus, Lavy."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜