Kabanata 25

"CL?"

Napamulagat si Tito Eije nang tawagin siyang CL ni Euan. Agad naman humalakhak si Euan at ngumiti nang pilyo sa aming dalawa ni Etienne.

"Charing lang," Euan shrugged off. "Kabado agad kayo, wala pa nga."

Etienne buried his face on my stomach deeply. Mas humigpit ang yakap n'ya sa akin. Patuloy naman ako sa panga-alo sa kan'ya ngunit lumilipad ang isip sa sinabi ni Euan.

Why would I be scared of CL? Pakialam ko nga ba kung dumating siya? I have Etienne with me. I should stop thinking about CL. Hindi naman naging kami ni CL. What we had was probably just puppy love. At hindi pa nga n'ya ito binalik sa akin. It was only one-sided too.

"What happened to your hair?" Tito Eije looked confused, his small eyes squinting. "Is this stress or?"

"I bleached our hair, Tito!" Walang takot na pahayag ni Euan. Nangingiti pa habang pinapakita ang buhok. "Bagay ba sa akin ang pink o red? Etienne will dye his hair in grey!"

Tito Eije's face gradually relaxed. Inayos nito ang salamin n'ya at ngumiti nang kalmado sa amin.

"That's great! Have you guys eaten? Gusto n'yo ba na magpa-room service ako? It is already late, nag-dinner na ba kayo?"

Ngumiti naman ako kay Tito Eije. He was as thoughtful as Etienne. Kaya naman nakumpirma ko lang na lumaki si Etienne sa isang magandang pamilya.

"We'll eat outside na po siguro, Tito." Si Euan ang sumagot. Nagawa n'ya pang ngitian ito. Hindi man lang natakot na baka pagalitan siya dahil pinagtripan ang anak n'ya.

Yet maybe Tito Eije was submissive too. Halata naman kasi na hindi ito masyadong matapang sa anak. He's very lenient to his kid. Kailanman ay hindi ko narinig itong pinagalitan si Etienne. Tita Ellise also treats Etienne like a baby. Kaya naman lumaki ang anak nilang spoiled ngunit mabait. . . Kapag walang sumpong. I scoffed before diverting the thoughts away.

"Kakain tayo sa labas?" bulong ko kay Etienne. I went to the headquarters to get the requirements for the scholarship but I don't mind eating out.

Wala rin naman akong kasabay kumain sa mansion. Lalong lumamig ang bahay dahil mas naging halata ang paglayo ni Adren sa amin. It created a cold war inside the house. The Javiers are also busy these days, hindi tuloy kami madalas mag-usap ni Yna dahil nasa college na rin siya.

"I don't know," Etienne shook his head while still facing my stomach. It tickled me but I didn't mind. He was acting cute. I like it.

"Ayaw mo ba?"

"Ayaw ko kay Euan. Kung di lang dahil sa 'yo, I swear I'll —"

Bumusangot naman ako sa kan'ya. I held his ear like I was threatening him that I'll pull it. "What did I say about manipulating things? Hm? Love, anong sinabi ko tungkol doon?"

I made it clear to him that I wasn't into the idea of him manipulating someone or people just to get his own brand of justice. It doesn't work that way. Si Arrisea at Adren nga ay hindi pa rin naguusap hanggang ngayon. I felt guilty despite not being involved with their break-up. I didn't want to live in guilt. Subalit wala rin naman ako'ng magawa sa ngayon.

Umangat ang tingin n'ya sa akin. His eyes softened. I brushed his hair upwards to assure him that I wasn't angry.

"I'm sorry, Lavy." His lips gently touch my stomach. "I don't want you to be upset. . ."

"Huy? Nandito pa kami?" sita ni Euan sa aming dalawa. "Respeto naman sa aming tatlo? Nandito tatay mo, Etienne oh?" bahagyang dinuro pani Euan si Tito Eije na namumula.

I bit my lower lip and decided to shove Etienne lightly.

"Ah? Ha?" Tito Eije widened his eyes. He fixed his glasses and smiled shyly at his son. "Good job, a-anak! May pinagmanahan ka talaga. Hindi nga lang sa akin."

I hear Snyder chuckling in a low manner. He bit his lower lip before inwardly folding his lips to suppress his laughter. My cheeks burned in embarrassment. Ginawa kaming gag show nitong ni Snyder, palagi kaming ginagawang source of entertainment!

Napalingon ako bigla kay Tito Eije. He had the same gray eyes that Etienne possessed. He also had a gentle demeanor in contrast to Tita Ellise's energetic personality. Napalingon siya sa akin nang makita na matagal na ang titig ko sa kan'ya.

A small smile appeared on his face. I smiled back because it felt genuine. How lucky Etienne is to have them as his parents.

"Enjoy your night out," Tito Eije said. "Use my card if you want, Etienne."

"I have mine, Dad." Etienne fixed his hair by looking over the window. Tinitingnan ang sariling repleksyon.

"Tito, hayaan mo siyang magpakitang gilas kasi nandiyan 'yong crush n'ya," pasaring ni Euan kay Etienne.

Etienne scoffed at him. "Girlfriend. Correction, my girlfriend is coming with me."

I only laughed because of how childish Etienne can be. Ayaw talaga magpatalo sa mga ganitong usapan. Nakita ko naman ang gulat sa mata ni Tito Eije, he was probably not aware that his son is clingy. Wala rin kasi talaga sa katauhan ni Etienne sa iba. I don't mind him being clingy over me.

Nauna sina Euan lumabas sa akin. Tumikhim si Tito Eije sa akin. Lumingon naman ako sa kan'ya. He gestured me to close the door first as if he has something to say to me that they shouldn't hear.

"Yes po?"

"Can we talk first?" tanong ni Tito Eije. "I just have something to ask you."

"Ano po 'yon?"

Tito Eije's lips pulled apart. His face hardened. "Are you serious about Etienne?"

"What do you mean po?" I spluttered, medyo hindi agad naintindihan ang gusto n'ya iparating.

Tito Eije sighed. "You don't have to love my son just because of what happened. My son is more than his past. You're not liable for anything."

Kumakabog ang puso dahil sa mga binitawan n'yang salita. We don't talk often and I know Tito Eije doesn't have any ill feelings towards me.

"Kung kasama mo lang siya dahil sa awa, just let him go, Solstice. My son loves you but he's not stupid."

I found it alarming that Tito Eije would say that. Hindi ako agad nakapagsalita. Tito Eije only adjusted his watch and folded a bit of his sleeves. Muli n'yang iningat ang tingin sa akin.

"I know you're not in love with my son. You probably just think you do but you don't."

"Tito Eije, hindi ko po alam kung saan galing ang mga iniisip n'yo pero mahal ko po si Etienne."

Tito Eije was conflicted. Napabuntonghininga siya habang nakahawak sa kan'yang sintido. "The Soteiros were actually anticipating you with Caer. That's why I'm scared you're dating my son for pity because you were his childhood friend."

"Ano pong ibig n'yong sabihin?"

"The Soteiros thought that you would join us by being with Caer." Tito Eije clarified. "Hindi naman tago sa amin na gusto mo siya. You were always following him when you were younger. Kaya naman nagtataka ang ilan sa amin kung bakit kayo ni Etienne. . ."

"Tito, I was young back then." I sighed. "Iba na po ngayon. I do love Etienne."

"I'm just concerned. Etienne deserves a love that is certain — this isn't it. We're just scared that you're with him because you think he needs you. He clearly loves you, Solstice. " Tito Eije gave me a light tap on my shoulder, a look of pity on his eyes. "Please let him go before he gets hurt. You don't have to pretend you love him because you pity him. Etienne would understand. It's better to hurt him now than hurt him for the long haul."

Natigalgal na lamang ako matapos ang paguusap na 'yon. My heart was filled with waves of water. It fills my entire lungs and I think it would soon evaporate through my eyes. Iniisip ko pa lang ay unti-unti na akong naluluha.

All this time, they really think that I don't love him? Just because I used to like his cousin?

Saan ba ako nagkulang?

How the fuck could I prove that I do love Etienne? That my feelings for him are real?

We went over to a bar since Euan wanted to drink too. I dismissed my previous trail of thoughts. Hinayaan ko na lang muna ang sarili na malibang sa mga kwento ni Euan tungkol sa bar hopping n'ya noon. We are already eighteen anyway but we don't drink a lot. Kapag may okasyon lang talaga o kung nagyayaya si Euan. He's the wildest among the Soteiros.

Madilim ang daanan at medyo bako-bako pa. We could go to a private one but Euan insisted that bars like this one gather the most fun memories. Hindi na tuloy kami nakatanggi.

"Careful," Etienne said and tapped the unpaved ground using his foot. "Baka ma-fall ka sa akin," sumilay ang isang ngisi sa kan'yang labi.

"Ang corny mo talaga," I cackled and shook my head lightly. Iniwasan ang tinuro n'yang bako upang hindi matalisod.

"I reserved a VIP room! Si Etienne magbabayad!" Euan announced to us as we went inside the bar. May mga nakasalubong siyang kakilala n'ya dahil nakipag-beso pa ito sa kan'ya.

"Euan! Long time no see," the girl batted her eyelashes. Nakita ko na ang tingin n'ya ay agad nanuklaw patungo kay Snyder.

Snyder didn't even flinch and he looked bored. Agad ako'ng napangisi dahil alam ko na mahirap itong mapaamo. Unlike Euan who's friendly and flirty, Snyder limits his social circle due to being an Esmael.

"Sa tingin mo? Should it be red or pink?" Euan asked, pertaining to his hair. "I think I look good in both so I have to ask more people."

The girl laughed. "You're lovely in any color! May balak ka bang ipakilala ako sa mga kasama mo?"

Euan darted his eyes towards us. "This is Solstice, taken. This is Etienne, taken for granted. This is Snyder, taken mentally. And of course, me, myself and I — I'm always taken."

Nangunot ang noo ni Etienne sa sinabi ni Euan. Napalunok naman ako, totoo nga na kalat sa mga Soteiro ang tungkol sa amin. I gently nudged him and he looked at me.

"He was joking," I smiled. "Lavyu."

Agad namang nawala ang kunot sa noo n'ya. Etienne proudly held my hand and kissed the back of it. He gently squeezed it too. Kita ko ang pamumula ng kan'yang pisngi.

The girl helped us find our room since she was probably one of the staff too. Hindi na n'ya kinulit pa kami dahil siguro alam n'yang walang may interesado makipaglandian sa amin bukod kay Euan.

"We could order garlic parmesan wings and beer?" Euan suggested.

Umiling ako. "I would like water please, I can't drink. May mga aasikasuhin pa ako bukas."

"Fine!" Euan pouted. "Snyder and Etienne would drink on your behalf."

Both Snyder and Etienne groaned but they didn't protest anymore. Mangungulit lang si Euan kaya naman hindi na nila ito pinabulaanan pa.

Soon, after a series of alcohol shots, a few girls joined us courtesy of the previous girl who guided us. Ang kinukulit nila ay si Euan na halata namang okay lang sa kan'ya ang landiin siya. Snyder was looking over at him, probably because Euan tends to do impulsive stuff when he's drunk.

Etienne was already drunk and he was leaning on my shoulder; tulog na nga yata siya dahil kanina n'ya pa hawak ang kamay ko. He was playing with it when he was drinking but now his eyes were already closed. I could also feel his soft breathing.

"Euan," the girl beside him called. "I heard you're a lousy kisser—"

Euan drank the girl's drink. The cherry on top of it was caught between his teeth, he played with it using his tongue and created a cherry knot. He stuck out his tongue to show the result. Napalunok naman 'yong babae.

"You were saying?" Mayabang na saad ni Euan, he chewed out the stem of the cherry.

"Di mo kinaya," I nudged Snyder who looked extremely sleepy. He probably doesn't like partying.

"Hm?" Snyder innocently widened his eyes. "What?"

"May pa-cherry knot si loko," I pointed towards Euan and chuckled lightly.

"I prefer doing it with my mouth, Lavy." Snyder nonchalantly clicked his tongue. "I'd rather do it with a mouth than with a cherry."

Medyo nalaglag ang panga ko. I immediately clamped my jaw closed. Goodness, lahat ba talaga sila ay wild? Ako lang yata ang mabait dito.

The night was slowly sinking in. Patuloy lang si Euan sa pag-inom habang si Snyder at Etienne ay tulog na. When I got bored because no one was talking to me. Sinubukan ko na rin uminom.

It was a bad idea.

"Huy kayo," umiiyak na sabi ko. "Bakit n'yo ako iniwan?!" I cried out while trying to find the car that we use. Hindi ko mahagilap si Euan, Snyder at Etienne dahil nauna sila sa akin. Etienne wanted to be with me however I took a quick bathroom break and now I can't find them.

Para akong batang naliligaw.

Parang naliligaw.

"Ah. . ." I wiped my tears. "Sinong di mahal si Etienne? Mahal ko kaya siya. Sino ba kayo para sabihin sa akin na hindi?!" I frustratedly said to the air. Nilabas ko lahat ng galit ko magmula kanina. No one will be able to hear me anyway.

It was the truth too. I do love Etienne. Mahal ko naman siya. Mahal na. . .

"Shit. . ." I continuously wiped my tears away. Halos mabura na ang mga mata ko kakakuskos ko rito. I was hiccuping for some reason.

Sumisikip ang dibdib ko at hindi ko alam kung dahil lang ba sa alak. I held my chest to contain what I felt but it still hurts.

"Euan? Nasaan ba kayo?" someone asked. Nagpantig naman ang tenga ko.

"Is Snyder also drunk? Sino pa ba ang kasama mo?"

"Hey. . ." I raise my hand. Agad naman itong napalingon sa akin. My sight was blurry. Pagewang-gewang din ako.

"Kilala mo si Euan?" I asked. "Soteiro?"

"Euan. . ." the person was rendered speechless. Hindi siya agad nakasagot sa tanong ko.

"Oo? Kilala mo?"

"Euan? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin na kasama mo sina Etienne?" the person asked in almost a monotone manner. Parang nagpipigil ito na may masabing masama.

"Please. You know that. . ." the person sighed and he ran his fingers through his hair, probably because of frustration.

"Umalis na kayo? Is Etienne asleep? Dear god, you know how much he values his girlfriend. Tapos iniwan mo? At ako pa talaga ang pinasundo mo? Pray that Etienne won't know about this."

"Hey," I snapped my fingers. "Are you ignoring me?"

Napaigtad naman 'yong lalaki. He only looked at me and didn't utter anything.

"Driver ka ba ni Euan? Did he. . . Left?" Matabang na tanong ko.

"Lavender." the person sounded confused. "Ah, Solstice nga pala."

I gaped at him. His voice. No, that wasn't possible. It's been years since the last time that we've talked.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience," the person was slowly gaining a form. He was wearing a white polo, black slacks and leather shoes. In his neat frame, he was able to give a small smile. His angelic features made me pale because I wasn't sure if this was alright. If meeting him without Etienne is okay.

Caer Luxeuil was in front of me. After all the years.

"Euan mistakenly left you and he needs someone to take you home. I could call a cab if you're not comfortable around me. I'll just tail the cab so I can at least make it sure that you'll be there safely." CL said, fidgeting on his phone. He was also avoiding looking at me.

"CL. . ." I called him, still not believing that it was him.

Saglit siyang natigilan. His gentle eyes slowly looked at me. He smiled, just like before — like an archangel gifted by the heavens. "It was fancy meeting you again, Solstice. I hope you're well with Etienne."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜