Kabanata 22

"I won't be home later," paalam ko kay Dayanara habang kumakain kami ng umagahan. "Baka gabihin din ako."

"Be careful. . ." sagot ni Dayanara, hindi na siya umangal. She was in front of the other Reverios but I could see her clenching her fists below the table.

"Sino ang kasama mo, Solstice?" Alfos asked. Nakita ko ang kakaunting saya kay Dayanara. She probably thought this is her chance to halt my plans.

"Si Etienne Soteiro po," I answered nonchalantly. "Boyfriend ko po."

Adren coughed loud enough to express his annoyance. Nabilaukan 'yata, hindi agad natanggal ang pagkagulat sa kan'yang mukha. What did he expect anyway? Adren looked like he was flabbergasted upon hearing it directly from me.

"The both of you are dating?" Lolo asked, finally intrigued. Of course, I brought the Soteiro surname in our conversation. Imposibleng hindi n'ya ito kilala.

"Opo," I said.

"That's good!" Lolo laughed, pinunasahn ang gilid ng kan'yang labi gamit ng isang table napkin. "Finally, a tie between a Soteiro and Reverio! You have to share me the latest news about the both of you. Congrats, Solstice."

Ngumiti lang ako sa sinabi ni Lolo. Biglang bumaluktot ang mga iniisip ko. Ang totoo n'yan ay nandidiri ako. Ang bait n'ya kay Adren ngunit ganito kababaw ang tingin n'ya sa akin. My only achievement for him is being a Soteiro's girlfriend. Bigla tuloy ako'ng nagsisi na sinabi ko pa 'yon. Sana sinarili ko na lamang.

After our breakfast, I reminded Etienne about our date. Kahit no'ng kagabi ay hindi na siya mapakali. Lalo na siguro ngayong araw dahil ito na talaga 'yon.

Etienne:

Wala ka bang gagawin sa school? Hindi naman ito importante.

Lavy:

Wala nga? I told you, it's a date with you. It's important to me.

Etienne:

Sure ka ba talaga?

Puwede naman na hindi.

I don't mind.

Lavy:

Oo nga?

Etienne:

🙁 okay.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang umirap dahil sa pangungulit n'ya. At the same time, the guilt in my heart grew. I know why he's so adamant about the date. Alam ko kung saan siya nanggagaling.

Ikaw ba naman umasa noon at mabigo. My heart clenched at the thought that Etienne waited for me that day. Hindi pa nakatulong na naaksidente siya dahil sa akin.

Bumuntonghininga ako at hinanap ang makapal kong coat sa aking closet. I rummaged the clothes that I was supposed to wear during his skating program before, however it was already too small for me. Kaya naman naghanap na lang ako ng isang makapal na coat para hindi ako masyadong ginawin.

It was years ago but the feeling of betrayal is still there. Just like how wounds create scars, it reminds you of how painful it used to be. It doesn't really ease the pain, you just cope with it. You just learn how to live with it.

I sighed once again and looked at my old coat.

Maybe we don't really forget about the painful anamnesis; maybe we just choose not to think about it. We don't really move on, we just accept that we can't do anything about it anymore.

I texted Etienne before picking a coat.

Lavy:

I'll wear white.

Etienne:

🙁 hindi rainbow???

Lavy:

WHITE COAT

Wear white too.

Matapos 'yon ay pinili ko na ang puting coat na binili ko no'ng isang linggo. I also brought my own skating shoes. Kinakapa ko ang aking dibdib. Kumalma ka, Lavy. In case you'll fall, he'll be there to catch you. At di naman siguro ako sobrang ignorante upang ma-aksidente pa kung di naman ako gagawa ng mga stunts.

I wanted to try renting a private skating rink however it was costly. Ayoko naman isipin ng mga Reverio na mahilig ako sa gumastos. I wouldn't like them telling me in the future that I wasted their money.

Nagpahatid ako sa mall kung saang may available na skating rink. I was nervous that Etienne would find this cheap however I also reminded myself that Etienne isn't materialistic. Maarte siguro ngunit hindi naman umiikot sa pera ang buhay n'ya.

I was about to text Etienne that I was already here but someone slides his arm around my waist. Agad ko itong siniko nang malakas.

"Aray!" Etienne yelped and removed his hand. Agad naman ako'ng natauhan. He was writhing in pain. I went towards him to check if I broke a bone or something.

"Sorry! Nagulat lang ako."

"It's o-okay! Okay lang ako, di ko kailangan ma-hospital." Etienne said, flustered. Napahawak siya sa kan'yang turtleneck. Oh, he really is wearing white too.

He wasn't wearing a coat but a white turtleneck partnered with black plants. His shoes were leather, 'yong madaling tanggalin. Napagtantuan ko na masyado yata ako'ng nagbihis dahil simple lang ang pananamit n'ya.

But he looks good. Too good. Napalunok naman ako. Geez, his genes will probably make his descendants grateful for him.

"Tara na?" I offered my hand. Inabot naman ito ni Etienne. I interwined my fingers into his, a smile forming in my lips.

I wanted to skate first before dining. Balak ko nga ay kahit gabihin kami kalilibot sa buong mall ay okay lang.

"Lavy," tawag ni Etienne sa atensyon ko. He wiggled his hand in front of me. Tutok na tutok siya sa akin.

"Yes?"

"You okay?" he asked in a low tone. He was helping me wear my skating shoes. He tied the laces for me.

"Yup," I nodded.

"P'wede naman tayong hindi tumuloy," saad ni Etienne. Tinungkod n'ya ang isa sa kan'yang braso sa kan'yang hita. "I'll understand if this isn't your ideal date. I appreciate it very much but please always put yourself first."

I sighed. "Paano ka?"

He smiled in return. "I am already happy when you're happy, Lave."

"This makes me happy, Etienne." I kissed him on his forehead. "Please know that what I do for you makes me happy. You don't always have to think about me."

Yet, I know that wasn't possible. You can't unroot the way someone cares for you. Hindi mo naman kontrolado kung paano sila mag-isip. It goes both ways, you can't control who they can love and who they can't.

Etienne went in first, hawak-hawak n'ya ako sa aking kamay. Nangunot ang noo ko dahil bihasang-bihasa siya, he didn't even stumble or flinch when he entered the rink. Mas nakatuon pa sa akin ang mga mata n'ya.

"I want to learn how to skate," I told him as he guided me inside the rink. I should have also prepared a glove, nilalamig na ako agad. I heard Etienne chuckling upon noticing me constantly shaking my hand.

"When did you learn how to skate? Akala ko noon ay mas mahilig ka sa computers. . ." I asked him while he's looking at my feet. Ako ang kinakabahan sa ginagawa n'ya dahil imbis na ang sarili n'ya ang tinitingnan n'ya, binabantayan n'ya ang galaw ko.

He was even facing me. A little frown formed in his forehead when I stumbled slightly, hinawakan n'ya ako sa aking siko.

"Careful," he whispered and because of the ice surrounding us, it created mist from his breath. "Huwag mong bilisan, Lavy."

"S-sorry," I bristled and reached for his arm. "You didn't answer the question."

"Solstice told me she wanted to live in Russia and wanted to try figure skating," sagot ni Etienne. Natutop naman ang labi ko dahil doon. He sighed before continuing, "So I learned in advance because I wanted to be with her in Russia. I tend to do impulsive things before. . ."

"Kahit naman ngayon," I laughed it off. "You tend to do things on your own."

He's manipulative. And it honestly concerns me. Sana lang ay wala siyang nasisirang buhay. I will draw the line there. Once that I find out that he did something wrong that caused harm to anyone — ako mismo ang makakaharap n'ya.

I was about to scold him about Adren and Arrisea but Etienne diverted my attention.

A small boyish grin formed in his lips. "And you still like me? Right?"

"Sino nagsabing gusto kita?" Nangunot ang noo ko.

"You did," Etienne pursed his lips. "Niyaya mo kaya ako mag-date!"

"I love you, tanga." I scowled. "Sa tingin mo ba gusto lang kita? Ang pangit kaya ng ugali mo, nauto mo nga lang ako e. Hay naku, love is blind talaga!"

"Lavy!" Etienne laughed, his face gradually reddening. Bigla siyang tumikhim. "I'm quite scared, actually. . ."

"Bakit?"

"I actually find break-ups amusing, lalo na kapag halata na mahal na mahal pa nila ang isa't isa. It feels like watching a Spanish telenovela," Etienne bemused, sliding on his skates. "Although, I commend their bravery but I find it stupid. Kasi hindi ko nakikita 'yong sarili ko na makikipag-hiwalay pa kung mahal ko 'yong tao. It might work for them but not for me. I couldn't let someone go when I knew that I was made for her."

It struck me, when Etienne and I drifted from each other; he still did his best to be with me. Kaya siguro siya lumipat din ng school na kapareho sa akin. There were tons of great schools in the Philippines, he chose where I was currently enrolled.

"But some people are not really for each other, Etienne. Kahit gaano pa nila kamahal ang isa't isa. It's the concept of 'Pinagtagpo pero hindi itinadhana'," I refuted his claim.

Etienne tilted his head and shrugged off. "But people have been defying fate for as long as humans have lived. We shouldn't rely on fatalism, Lavy. And besides, we create our own fate. And I'm fated to be with you," he breathed out.

"Paano kung hindi?"

"Paano kung oo?" Etienne fired back, obviously annoyed.

I only laughed. Ang pikon talaga.

We skated for a few hours and he taught me some basics. He clearly missed the rink. Sa palagay ko ay matagal din no'ng huli siyang sumabak sa ganito. Pumunta kami sa isang bleachers para magpahinga, inabutan ako ng bottled water ni Etienne.

I reached for it to drink. Sumimsim pa lang ako nang may tanungin si Etienne.

"Do you want to meet your Mom?" he carefully asked. Agad naman akong natigilan.

"P'wede ba?" I swallowed hard. "Hindi kaya? B-baka mahuli ng mga Reverio. . ."

My mother obviously irked Dayanara. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ni Lolo at Alfos dito. They might violently react to the news that my real mother is still alive. The whole setup was complicated, baka lalong magkabuhol-buhol.

"I didn't study things for years to be caught, Lavy." Etienne assured me. "We just have to be discreet. Besides, sa tagal kong natago si Tita, wala ka pa rin bang tiwala sa akin?"

Bumuntonghininga ako at ngumiti sa kan'ya. I feel so relieved that Etienne took care of my mother. Kabado rin ako dahil isa ito sa mga pangarap ko. I really wanted to see my mother again.

"Galing mo naman pala magtago e," I teased Etienne. He only beamed at me, like a child.

Etienne's eyes softened. "We'll meet her next Saturday, okay? I promise she'll always be safe."

Tumango naman ako kay Etienne na ang tingin ay unti -unting bumaba sa aking kamay. My hand was shaking because I was cold. He bended his knees to match my level. He held my hand and gradually put it on his lips. He kissed my knuckles to offer warmth. My heart raced because of that small gesture.

Nilapag n'ya ang wallet at isang phone sa aking hita. He acted shy and looked away after kissing my hand. "I have to go to the restroom, I'll be back. Okay?"

"Take your time. . ." walang kwentang sagot ko. I was still dazed. Pinanood ko si Etienne na medyo wala rin sa sarili dahil nadudulas pa siya. I chortled but my eyes went towards his phone when it vibrated.

My heart stilled for a while.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nanlamig. I don't know if it's because of the temperature or if it's because of the caller. I held the phone tightly in my hand as it continued to vibrate and the ringtone was buzzing in my head.

CL Soteiro is calling. . .

❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Note that will be deleted later: Thank you for reading BOC! This might also be a bit longer than the previous installments (45 - 50 chapters) and I consider Seniors Series as slow burn stories thus the slow pace of the stories.

Please take care of yourself :) I appreciate you.