Kabanata 20

"You'll stay for the after party?" tanong ni Adren sa akin habang nakaabang sa pagpasok ko ng sasakyan.

I nodded. "Etienne asked me to. Besides, I won't be drinking."

Hindi rin naman talaga ako mahilig sa alak. Adren frowned at my statement, it probably had to do something about drinking and parties. Agad naman siyang bumuntonghininga.

"Ingat ka," bilin n'ya. Tumango lang ako at kumaway pa nang tuluyan na n'yang sinara ang pinto ng kotse.

"Ikaw rin," I replied.

Humarurot na ang sasakyan at iniwan ako sa malamig na gabi. I took my time as I go back to the mansion of the Soteiros. Wala na ang ibang bisita dahil ang after party ay para na talaga sa mga kaibigan o kakilala ni Etienne. Yet, some children of the infamous conglomerate in the Philippines stayed for the party. Balita ko nga kahit ang ilan sa mga anak ng mga politicians ay nandito.

"Solstice!"

Inangkla ni Euan ang kan'yang braso sa akin. Mukhang gusto n'yang makawala sa iilang mga babaing lumalapit sa kan'ya. The girls who were pestering him decided to give up upon seeing me. Euan sighed and gave a small smile at me.

"Hindi ka rin iinom 'di ba?" Euan asked. "Should we ask for lemon water or juice?"

"Soda will do," I agreed that we should at least get some drinks for the night.

Pumunta kami malapit sa mga bar stool. I let my eyes wander off to see where Etienne went. Kitang-kita ko siya na may mga kausap na mukhang anak ng mga kaibigan ni Tita Ellise. He had his tie loose, his fingers racking on his hair as he kept laughing even if I could tell that they weren't talking about humorous stuff.

"Parang tanga si Etienne," puna ni Euan. "Kanina pa tawa nang tawa, di mo alam kung tumitira ng pinagbabawal na gamot."

Pinamulahan ako ng pisngi. "Baka masaya lang siya kasi syempre, happy birthday. . ."

Euan tilted his head to my direction. "What?"

I sounded gibberish, alright. I waved my hands off. Natawa na lang ako dahil sa pagkunot ng noo ni Euan sa akin. Ang totoo n'yan ay di ko alam kung paano sasabihan sa kanila na kami na ni Etienne. I feel like telling them about us will probably make them confuse. It was out of the blue, lalo na dahil alam nila ang atraso ko kay Etienne.

They know about what I did to him. I wonder if Kaiaria, Euan and Snyder hated me before too. Hindi man nila sabihin, they regarded Etienne as their younger brother. Masakit 'yon para sa kanila dahil kahit madalas nilang inaaway si Etienne, they cared for him genuinely.

Etienne met my gaze and he acted shy, he scratched his nape and averted his sight on me. Natawa naman ako. Mukhang ako pa ang unang magf-first move sa aming dalawa sa inaakto n'ya.

"Nabigay mo na ba regalo mo kay Etienne?" I asked, umupo sa tabi ni Euan na umiinom ng juice.

"Yes," Euan said. "Just some shoes and a few bags."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What brand?"

"High end ones," Euan answered. His tone made me feel like it was supposed to be obvious. Siya nga pala ang pinakamaarte sa mga Soteiro, I should have known it already.

Napalingon ako sa mga regalo na para kay Etienne. I was curious so I decided to check on it. Wala rin namang kumakausap sa akin at mukhang inaantok na si Euan. He kept sipping on his strawberry juice to keep him awake.

"I'll just go to the gift section," paalam ko kay Euan. He boredly dismissed me using his hands. Umalis na rin ako at tiningnan ang mga regalo kay Etienne.

Most of them, unsurprisingly, are about technologies. Ang iilan naman ay mga mamahalin na mga bagay na mula pa 'yata sa ibang bansa. I think that those who are not connected to tech are from the people who were invited because of their parents.

Hindi ko naman sila masisisi, naalala ko noong christmas party namin no'ng junior high ay puro mugs, face towel o di kaya'y unisex ang pangregalo sa mga exchange gift. Etienne probably doesn't mind, he wasn't materialistic anyway.

My eyes read the dedication cards. Most of them greeted a short message for him. Hindi ko alam kung bakit natigilan ako sa isang maliit na paperbag. My throat constricted upon seeing who it came from.

Caer Luxeuil.

Pinaulit-ulit ko pa ang pagbanggit n'on sa aking utak. Hindi ko alam bakit para ako'ng kinuryente nang may humawak sa aking braso. The familiar snobbish look of Snyder greeted me, his monolid eyes widening when I back away from his touch.

"Snyder," bati ko. "I was just looking over the gifts."

Tumango siya.

"He was here, you know?" Snyder chimed in, tracing where my eyes were stuck.

"Who?" patay malisyang tanong ko.

Snyder shrugged. "Si CL."

I went pale. It was wrong to feel this way. Si Etienne na ang dapat na iniisip ko. However, a part of me was still curious on how CL is doing. Matagal din mula nang huli naming kausap.

I don't want him anymore. I'm just curious why he's not showing up. Kung nandito siya, bakit hindi ko man lang siya nakita?

"Did he just brought his gift? Umalis din siya kaagad, ano?"

Umiling si Snyder. "He actually stayed for a while. Sandali lang din talaga pero nanatili naman siya para batiin si Etienne nang personal."

"Did he. . . Look for me?"

Snyder only stared at me, he tilted his head to make sure that my question was true. I gulped, I wasn't narcissistic, pero inaasahan ko na kahit papaano ay kakamustahin n'ya rin ako.

"He didn't," Snyder said. "Hindi ka niya hinanap, Solstice."

Oh, I gradually nodded. That's alright, bakit nga naman n'ya ako hahanapin? I just thought that maybe if he can say hi to most of them, why didn't he at least acknowledge my presence too?

"There wasn't any reason for him to look for me anyway," I laughed. "I just hope that he's doing well."

I turned my heels towards a different direction. I feel embarrassed for thinking about CL. E ano naman kung pumunta? Ni hindi nga nagpakita. Does he hate me? I bit my lower lip. Sana sinabi na lang n'ya at hindi 'yong ganito.

"Hey," Etienne walked towards me upon noticing how dazed I was. Nagulat ako dahil niyakap n'ya ako agad.

"I miss you," he whispered through my hair. He buried his face on my neck. Agad naman akong natawa. Humigpit ang yakap n'ya sa akin. He has a faint smile plastered on his face.

"Nagkita tayo kanina lang," I racked my hand on his soft hair. The scent of his shower gel made me sighed. Ang bango-bango n'ya, amoy bagong ligo palagi. I'm sure that those who talked to him were drunk however their smell didn't linger on him.

His lips slightly protruded. "I didn't see you for a year, Lavy. Dapat bumawi ka sa akin."

I lifted a brow. "Sino ba muna lumayo?"

"Sino ba muna nagsabi na nandidiri —"

"Huy! Bakit ka naman nangu-ungkat!" I panicked but he only chuckled. Nakakapit pa rin sa aking bewang.

"I miss you."

"Alam ko."

"I miss you ulit." His smile grew wider. Napangiti ako sa kan'ya. It's weird how he says those words, it is as if I'm a distant memory that he's thankful to feel once again. As if I brought him nostalgia.

"Kukuha lang ako ng inumin natin," I told him as I played his loose tie, I twirled it using my finger. "Sino nangtanggal nito?"

"Ako lang. Nasasakal ako e," Etienne answered. "Bakit? Pangarap mo rin bang tanggalin?"

"Balak ko ipangsakal sa 'yo kapag di ka pa tumigil," banta ko sa kan'ya. Tumawa lang ulit siya. I rolled my eyes at him. Ang landi e!

I went back to the drinks area. Hindi ko na nahagilap doon si Euan. May nakita ako'ng babaing mukhang dehado dahil natapunan siya ng alak sa kan'yang dibdib. The waitress apologized while picking up the shattered wine glasses.

"No, it's okay." Iling ng babae. She was trembling though. Kitang-kita ko na medyo nabigla siya sa nangyari, and oh. . .

Her dress was satin. Bakat na bakat ang katawan n'ya dahil sa dami ng tubig na nakuha ng tela. My mouth went agape and I immediately went her way.

"Hey, need help?" agap ko.

She was soaked in wine, she was covering her chest area. Kita ko na mukhang di n'ya alam ang gagawin n'ya. Her hair was short and she had red lipstick on. Maganda ang hugis ng kan'yang katawan.

"Sana," she chuckled, looking embarrassed. She pointed towards her chest. "Wala ako'ng bra."

My eyes broadened. What the? Well, I do remove my bra sometimes when I'm about to go to bed. Pero hindi naman kapag nasa party.

"Tape lang kasi gamit ko," the girl slightly smiled. "Nalaglag 'yata."

"Wait, sandali lang." I told her and roamed my eyes. May nakita ako'ng naka-tux kaya naman nilapitan ko.

"Hi!" Kinalabit ko siya at agad n'ya akong hinarap. His cat-liked eyes and aristocrat features made me halt for awhile. Nahiya ako bigla dahil hindi ko naman siya kilala. I forgot that some or most of the people here are from the upper class.

"Shit!" narinig ko 'yong babae. Her dress is probably already making her feel uncomfortable.

P'wede ka ba maghubad?" nagmamadaling anas ko.

His eyes broadened. Nakita ko rin ang pagparte ng kan'yang labi. Hindi siya nakasagot agad.

"I just need your coat!" I said. Fine! I'll face the consequences later. Mas kailangan ito ng babae ngayon!

Hinawakan ko ang itim n'yang coat at unti-unti itong inalis mula sa kan'ya. Hindi naman siya nakapalag, he only looked amused as I continued getting his coat.

"Miss, bakit mo ako hinuhubaran?" bulong n'ya, his deep voice penetrating in my ears.

"Papalitan ko na lang! Sorry!" I said as I got his coat away from him and immediately went towards the girl. Nakita ko naman na may sumaklolo na pala sa kan'ya. It was a guy with curly locks trying to hide the girl's body using his coat too.

"You should be careful, Nai."

"Ah, di ko naman inaasahan saka salamat," the girl smiled at the guy. Napalingon sila sa akin kaya naman napalunok ako.

"Hala," nanglaki ang mga mata n'ya nang makita ang hawak ko. "Sorry! And thank you!"

"Okay ka na ba?" tanong ko, unti-unting tinutupi 'yong coat na na-snatch ko. The fabric came from a branded clothing, the pattern was the infamous double g.

Kailangan ko talaga mabalik 'to dahil ayokong ikaltas ito sa allowance ko. I'd rather not spend this much for someone's clothes. Sana pumayag 'yong kinuhanan ko.

"Yes! Thank you talaga," she said. Ngumiti siya at naglahad ng kamay. "I'm Naiara, by the way. Nice meeting you."

I accepted her hand. "Solstice."

"Zaguirre," maikling saad no'ng katabi n'ya na tahimik lang ako'ng pinagmamasdan.

"Reverio," I answered back. It was a form of duel for me when it comes to our surnames. Ngumisi lang siya sa akin.

"Huy, wala naman lapagan ng apilyedo rito," Naiara laughed. "Wala namang gan'yanan."

I only smiled at her.

"Thank you, ha? I really appreciate your concern," Naiara said genuinely.

I waved my hand off. "Wala 'yon." It was the bare minimum, girls have to protect girls when it comes to this kind of situation.

"May boyfriend ka ba?" Enoch asked, almost a shrug. "Survey lang."

"Enoch, tarantado ka talaga." Naiara laughed. Ngumiti lang ako at tumango.

"Mas gwapo boyfriend ko sa 'yo," utas ko.

The side of his lips rose. He chuckled lightly. "Hm, okay. Whatever you say."

Pinanood ko lang silang umalis. Naiara even gave me a quick nod. She was really nice however the guy with her was a different story, he's a bit arrogant in my opinion.

I look around for the guy to give back his coat. Nakita ko naman agad siya na may kausap na mas mahaba ang buhok sa kan'ya.

"Lavy!" Etienne jogged towards me. Napatingin siya sa hawak ko. "Kanino 'yan?"

"Sa kan'ya," I pointed using my lips. Sinabayan ako ni Etienne sa pagpunta sa dalawang lalaki. The guy recognized me and gave a smile upon seeing me approach them.

"I thought you'll keep it," the guy shrugged. "It's okay if you won't return it. I won't mind."

"No thanks," I said. "Hindi ko na kailangan."

Bumalik ang nawiwiling ekspresyon sa kan'yang mukha.

"Kiran," pakilala n'ya sa kan'yang sarili. He was taller than me, almost the same height as Etienne. "Conjuanco."

Natigilan ako roon. If he's a Conjuanco, he's the son of the infamous senator. At isa rin siya sa mga maimpluwensiyang anak dito.

"Reverio, Solstice." I nodded. He didn't extend his hand, a sign that he didn't see me as someone who's on the same level as him.

"Soteiro," dugtong ni Etienne. Nangunot naman ang noo ko sa kan'ya.

"Kasal tayo sa marriage booth, remember?" Etienne said.

I scowled at him. He only plastered a confused look on his face.

"Nasa akin pa 'yong marriage certificate natin, naka-laminate, naka-plastic cover at naka-bubble wrap," inosenteng pahayag ni Etienne. I burst out laughing. Gagi, hindi ko na nga matandaan nasaan 'yong sa akin.

The other guy hissed. "Kiran, tawag ka na ng tatay mo."

"Tatay natin," Kiran corrected.

"Tatay mo lang," the other guy insisted. Hindi niya kami pinapansin. Ang sungit, magkapatid nga sila.

"Anyway, I appreciate it but no thanks. . ." Kiran grinned at me.

Bahagya akong nagulat dahil umalis silang dalawa at iniwan kami ni Etienne. Hindi na n'ya kinuha 'yong coat n'ya mula sa akin.

"I saw you talking with two guys already," Etienne pouted. "Kakasagot ko pa lang sa 'yo pero sumusulpot na 'yong mga pangit."

I laughed and decided to leave the coat on one of the available chairs. I also didn't need it.

"Seloso," I uttered.

"Sino'ng di magseselos, e alam kong maganda ka?" bulong n'ya habang nakatitig sa akin.

Napalunok naman ako. Umaariba naman ang kalandian ng isang ito. Hindi ako makahabol. Bumalik kami sa balcony para pagmasdan ang mga ilaw sa ibaba na sumasayaw. Everyone was having a blast but Etienne decided he wanted to be here instead. In this small space with me. Niyayakap n'ya ako mula sa likod.

"If this is a dream," Etienne whispered through my hair. "Bangungot yata ito." He laughed.

"Break na tayo."

"Di ka naman mabiro."

"Etienne, we have a lot of differences, don't you think?" I asked him.

"All lovers are almost opposite to each other. Oftentimes, they work because they try their best to fit in the missing pieces of their lover."

"Like a puzzle?"

"Like a puzzle," he agreed. I smiled at him, indeed just like a puzzle I found the perfect image in him even with just parted pieces.

"I love you," saad ko at humarap sa kan'ya. I cupped his face. "I will constantly be confusing, not the perfect girl or lover and maybe not even the perfect one for you."

Hinalikan ko siya sa kan'yang noo. "You don't have to doubt my love for you."

Etienne's eyes softened. "I fear being kissed, Lavy." His voice broke and my heart shattered like a glass. Of course, his past probably still haunts him. Nilagay ko ang iilang hibla ng buhok n'ya sa likod ng kan'yang tainga.

"Did she kiss you?"

"N-no," he buried his face on the upper part of my chest. "I didn't like kissing. I never imagined it with anyone besides you. I never let her k-kiss me. And she'll hurt me for that. She uses cigarettes to. . ."

"I love you," I kissed the top of his head. "You didn't deserve that. No one does but I know that you were the least person that had to be there."

Pinaharap ko siya sa akin, kinulong ko sa palad ko ang kan'yang mga pisngi. His eyes were misty, reddening on the sides. My boy didn't deserve to cry like this.

"I know you hated kissing but I'll change that for you. . ." I place a chaste kiss on his tender lips. He was rendered shock. Nagulat siya nang maglapat ang mga labi namin.

I only smiled at him and once again placed a faint kiss on the side of his lips. "Happy birthday, my Soteiro. We're not the perfect formulas for each other but I'll make us work. . . Even with just bits of chemistry, we'll still be together."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜