This is an one shot for a tamil book "MUDHAL KADHAL (FIRSTLOVE) but this one shot is in English.

This chapter is dedicated to Kyra92

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I parked my car on the parking space for the marriage hall. I opened the door of my car and closed it after coming out. I put on my sunglasses and adjusted my shirt collar. I walked through the paved roads on the parking lot while glancing at the people on the sidewalks.

My white shirt had its first button opened so that I can withstand the heat while I regretted wearing my black pant which was absorbing heat more than I wanted. It was the marriage of my college mate and most of our college friends were present.

I shook hands with everyone while my hands and eyes were looking for her. Eyes were trying to get contact with those mesmerising eyes which she always had and hands were trying to have contact with her soft fingers.

Though I had concluded in few years of visiting every single marriage of my friends that she has been avoiding all of these marriages.

May be it was to avoid me.

I have to say that I was attending all these marriage in spite of my tight schedule expecting to meet her in at least one of the marriage. None of my friends were ready to say a word about her to me.

Even when I pressed they say, "You won't like to know about her."

Recently I have decided that it's better this way. Every day I say to my mind that we have a small misunderstanding and we will sort it out tomorrow.

My days pass thinking that we will be together tomorrow but this tomorrow repeats every day.

I was scared to accept that she might be married. She might be with her children living a happy life.

May be that's why my friends say, 'You won't like to know about her.' It's better if I live like this even.

As always everyone were with their family. When I see the children of my college friends grown up, I realise how old I am.

My eyes grew wide the moment they landed on her. What shocked me was she was seeing me too. She didn't take her eyes of me.

Her eyes which never moved away from me held lot of guilt in it. May be she realised what she had done.

People say 'It is better late than never' but sometimes if you are late then it's better never to do it.

This guilt on her eyes is like that. I took my slow walk to her which gained the attention of my friends. They were eagerly waiting to see what unfolds in my life.

I went on knees near her and touched her feet. Her palms rested on my head as a sign of blessing and I stood up.

I turned around to walk but I was stopped. I never expected that she will do this. I had always thought I would get to meet her daughter whom I loved but I never thought I will meet her.

I always had a feeling that she was the reason for my loss. She had made her daughter move away from me. From that day she never even looks at me but today she looked at me. For God's sake, she stopped from moving away even.

She looked at me for a minute before saying, "How are you?" First thing I felt was anger.

She killed me literally. I was a human with happiness, sadness and feeling. Now I am just a robot which goes to work and comes back to eat and sleep so that I can work well next day.

Without my love, this is what I am reduced to. Everything is because of this woman who happens to be my love's mom.

I said a formal 'I am fine' and tried to walk back but her voice stopped me in my tracks, "Why don't you come home and meet her some day?"

I froze on the spot I stood and it took me minutes to find who said it. More than happiness that I am going to meet her, I felt anger that she wants me to see how happy her daughter is with her husband.

Does she have any idea how much it pains for me. I couldn't hide my anger, "OH really! What do you think? Do you think I would be happy like the heroes seeing their loved ones with someone? If you had any idea about my pain, you would have never done this. Don't lie; I know that you are the reason for all those. Do you want to rub it in my face that she is married and lives happily?"

I said that I heard her voice immediately, "She is not married." I couldn't resist turning back and looking at her.

She was not looking at me now. She said in a low voice, "Yes, it was me who did it. I blackmailed her and made her do it. I agree to that."

I didn't know how to react to this. I sat opposite to her in a chair and looked at my hands while she completed it, "I arranged marriages but something always happens and marriage would be cancelled. Now everyone are saying that she is an unlucky woman or she has some problems with child birth so no one wants to marry her."

I clutched my hands on hearing this. No one thinks before passing judgements on others.

She said the most shocking words now, "That is when I gave her permission to marry you but she refused."

I was shocked. Why did she refuse? Doesn't she love me anymore?

May be she never loved me? Just like she said.

Her mother looked at me with tears, "She doesn't want you to think that you are her second choice. I promise that you are not her second choice, she had always loved you with..."

I never let her finish it. I started to walk out before being stopped by my friend, "WAIT! Let's take a group photo."

I shouted back to him, "You have your wife, let me come back with mine." I said that started running to her.

Wherever she is, I will reach her!

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Any comments on it.

Thanks a lot for everything you do Kyra92 akka.

Take care be safe and stay blessed.

-Yagappar