The day I realised I loved him, that I well and truly loved him, was the day I turned twenty.

We didn't celebrate birthdays, so of course it being the same date as the one when I was born had nothing to do with it. But it was the day of the biggest battle seen between Senju and Uchiha.

The day before, we had met at the Nakano river as usual, but the atmosphere was anything but usual. We both knew the battle was tomorrow, and with that, everything between us had, somehow, changed.

He was already standing there, on top of the steep cliff, the tall grass swaying over his calfs, bound with white linen and protected by black sandals. The grass was turned a olive shade by the setting sun. I could feel the smell of flowers in the warm air.

For a while, I just stood and looked at him. I knew he could sense me, but he didn't turn around. He just let me stand there, behind him, watching his back, watching his beauty. His black hair was cascading behind him like a silk ribbon binding the most precious gift that was him.

Finally, I took a few steps towards him until I was right behind him, my chest almost brushing his back, but not quite, my breath tickling his neck.

"Hi", I said warmly.

"Hello there", he said sweetly.

I put my chin on his shoulder from behind. He let me, leaned in a little. I was very happy there.

"How do you feel?" I asked. "About tomorrow?"

"Worried", he said immediately. "About you."

I smiled a little.

"I'll be fine. I'm strong, you know?"

"I know..." he whispered, and I could feel his voice trembling. It clenched at my heart; I'd never heard Izuna like this.

"Izuna-" I begun, but didn't have time to finish before he turned round, grabbing my face in between his little hands. On pure instinct, I grabbed his wrists softly, connecting us further. I had noticed he had painted his nails black.

"Promise me..." he begun, voice thick. I could see the desperation in his eyes. "Promise me to be careful. Tobirama, it's not enough that you're the blue bird at this point. You need to be the bird of prey."

I was quiet for a while, looking at him with furrowed brows. Then, I slowly peeled his hand off my face, took both of them in mine, and went down on one knee before him. There with the beautiful sunset as a backdrop that could never match the beauty of him, I planted my lips to his hands, burned my kiss on his skin.

"I promise", I said.

During the entire battle, I watched out for him. I watched out for him, desperate to protect him, even if I knew he was much stronger than me and thus didn't need my protection.

But I didn't see him. Not anywhere.

The battle went on for hours, from sunrise to afternoon. Finally, both sides decided to retreat, having lost too many men. I had slashed through Uchiha after Uchiha, being the bird of prey just as I had promised Izuna, all the while looking out for him. But he wasn't there.

"Tobirama..."

I turned to Hashirama. I hadn't realised I was looking all over the corpses on the ground praying I wouldn't find him there.

"Have you seen Izuna?" I asked.

He just shook his head. I was so lost in my mind that I didn't really catch that he didn't question why I was looking for an enemy man. He even helped me looking, until the sun begun to set.

"Tobirama..."

"Shut up!" I screamed, my voice cracking. "Shut up..." I repeated, this time in a trembling whisper.

Hashirama came to stand behind me, put his hand on my shoulder.

"You know the Uchiha always bring the most important corpses back with them to protect their eyes", he said, voice low.

I fought an urge to actually hit my big brother; deep down, I knew it wasn't his fault. Instead, I stood there, among the dead corpses of Senju and Uchiha, shoulders shaking.

I went back to the Nakano river to mourn him, to mourn my lover. My heart had never felt so heavy, my soul had never felt so halved.

And that was when I realised that I loved him. I loved Izuna Uchiha.

I walked, head downcast, peeling off my armour, my headband, my fur, leaving me feeling bare clad in fabric alone. But as I approached the cliffside, I saw someone was standing there, looking out over the sunset.

I was suddenly filled with white-hot rage. Who dared come to our place? Who dared step on the ground that belonged to me and Izuna Uchiha alone? Who dared disturb my mourning after the man?

"Oyy!" I screamed. "What's your business here?"

The person turned round.

"... Tobirama?"

My heart skyrocketed to the heavens.

"Izuna..." I breathed.

"I thought you were dead", he said, and I could hear he was crying, and I was crying, too. "I thought you were dead."

And he took off.

He ran to me. It was the longest moment of my life, the moment before I had him safely in my arms. We collided. I hugged him close to me. We hugged as we cried, desperate to melt the other's heart into our bodies, to become one.

Then, Izuna moved his had back, looking at me with his tear-drenched face.

And he kissed me.

He actually kissed me.

I wouldn't remember much. I was in such a pure ecstasy that I wouldn't remember anything about it other than how much I liked the taste, and how good it felt, and how much I loved him.

And that I never wanted it to end.