DISCLAIMER : If you're having thoughts (of) or starving yourself, PLEASE PM me. Vent to or rant to me. Talk about it if you're comfortable. Just please don't starve yourself. Food is fuel and without fuel it could be harder to get through the day.

Last year of high school. The week of prom. Brendon, as your date. Your POV

I kept my back against the wall and my head down. Why did I look at the magazine? I'm not pretty enough, I'm not prepared for being the so called prom queen. Even if I want going to be it yet. All week I've been running laps and starving.

I did it before. Why not try again? My mom already bought a dress for me. I wasn't even able to fit it, I was a the tiniest bit that I couldn't got the dress. She went off on me and told me I'm too over weight for anything. She told me not to eat until I could fit the dress. I don't wanna go to prom.. mom won't let me wear what I choose to wear.

I just sighed. I was running the last lap until I made it home. I checked my weight. Thank God. I'm not that proud of it but I did go down 5 pounds. I weakly went upstairs. My room seemed farther than usual. I felt delusional. I didn't want to go check the mirror. I felt so weak and scared.

I flopped onto my bed and went to sleep. The next morning I was woken up. Cianna was shaking me, I got up weakly and went downstairs. I didn't question why Cianna was here, I was used to it. It's the day before prom, she decided to help me with confidence or whatever.

So after hours we talked and I started blacking out. I didn't tell her. She went to go and use the restroom, as soon as she made it I passed out. Later waking up in the hospital.

I remember them telling me about my weight and telling me to eat more. I passed out. Throughout the day was pretty good. Cianna and I watched movies.

Brendon and Patrick busted into the room some minutes after Mulan ended. Patrick forgot to close the goddamn door. Brendon ran over to me, giving me kisses on the cheek. I blushed, we're not dating! But I'll take it.

I was a teenager. So I let him make me feel accepted for a bit. I'm going through a really depressed stage.. I'll get through it. It's just a phase, right, Pete?

That was a catch, wasn't it.

Brendon held me by the hands and told me to listen. "Promise me you won't starve yourself. If you're gone, I'll loose another fren and.." he got really emotional. I frowned and held his hands as tight as he had mind, tears in his eyes and his face being bright red from embarrassment, I couldn't help but pity him.

"I promise, I won't starve." I told him. He looked at me giving me a huge hug and nodded. I softly sighed and gave him a hug back.

The next night at hell, I mean prom, our whole group didn't go. We snuck into a pool, it was after 9 PM. I dipped my feet inside the water and felt giggly at seeing my reflection in the water. The light blue-greenish color reflecting on my skin made me feel such like a child. I turned my head and saw three of the of my dumb friends jumping into the water, skinny dipping.

..it was Gerard, Patrick and Brendon.

Yeah no I'm not describing it. I tried looking away before gasping like hell. Water splashing all over my face, I laughed and got in all the way, swimming over to the dodoheads. I splashed them with water and held onto Brendon from laughing.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist-- he's NAKED! I sank my face into his neck from blushing so hard. Sooner turns out everyone was skinny dipping. Except, I waited. I'm insecure about my body. I don't want them to see me. Especially not after this week. I can almost see my ribcage. But they won't make fun of or hurt me. I'm glad for that.. I decided to run out and jump in the pool.

Brendon and I swam around the pool as in racing, I tried to forget that everyone was naked. Nude swimming? Not that fun if you've been starving, carving skin until your bones are showing.

Long after we finished school, we stayed as close and amazing friends. After Cianna taught me how to be okay, and Stephanie showed me how to not downplay my emotions. Beauty isn't vain, and really, I won't be happy if I look a certain way.

Brendon, Patrick, Josh & Tyler, and Gerard made bands. Melanie was and solo singer. Me and my three frens, Stephanie, Nyla and Cianna. Every now and then we gave out food to homeless and went around raising pride flags, blasting music and reminding teenagers and pre-teens how they're accepted. How they're valid.

My life was perfect, wasn't it? Yeah right. One night I had to tell Brendon. I was finally going to. Until, it happened..

A/n; Oki. This is one of the final chapters. This chapter skipped into years later for a certain event...