Chapter 18

ELZA

I give a slight stir to the milk in already mashed coffee. It's Airab's favorite mug; big and black with white outlines.

Normally he takes black coffee when tensed but I have made milk coffee which would help him in a sound sleep.

To say I am beyond shocked would not justify my feelings right now. He never shouted like this on me – or on anyone – in front of me at the least. He was in such a wrath that he could turn the whole world upside down.

Once he empties the mug, I take him to the bed asking him to put his head on my lap. I am not going to complaint my insecurities to him when he is going through a rough phase. Its killing for a brother if her sister does this, no matter how rich you are. I was never told of the depth of reason why Rabiha's engagement was broken off. And today I am proud of my husband who loves and awfully cares about his sister. So unlike mine.

I start to massage his head with soft fingers. Slowly and gradually, his pain ebbs away as he heaves the breaths of sigh, nuzzling into my stomach.

"Why are you against her love?" I ask.

He is ashamed than hurt. All he wants is Rabiha to live with dignity and not to be a soft soul that anyone can crush as and when he desires.

Short and long; I am still upset at his outburst at me. Would that be us when he is angry?

"I do not want to talk about it – for now. I'm tired."

What will happen if baba gets to know about it? He will be sicker according to Airab. Anyways, I tug the blanket to cover him, and keep stroking his hairs until he slips into a deep sleep. I pray to Allah to give him a solution to this problem. It pains to see him in pain.

***

My plan was to go to his office and feed him lunch. He is not the kind of a person who gets stirred up on little things. He has a very calm personality. His field requires patience, calmness and a quicker mind – a kind of which can think of ideas and solutions in a moment of snap.

When I had called him to ask about lunch menu, he turned it down saying he is neck deep busy in studio. No doubt, he works hard to make good advertisements rather than objectifying women or showing whole family dancing. His ideas and concepts are always decent and innovative. But this time he lied to me. I know.

For now, I am here in my room, arranging his side of wardrobe. His special scent is, like usual, calming my perturbed nerves.

Mama's behavior has changed. Is all love and affection gone? Are all sweet talks and saying I value her more than my own daughter is now crushed under the wrath of Airab? Honestly, Biyah is wrong in running behind a man who does not even respect her. When Biyah and me are on right track then what has happened to mom?

Should I ask her? Will it be right to talk?

What will I make my Airab happy when I am myself badly slashed.

"Bhabhi... Umhh do you have permanent blue marker?" Chivalry is dripping from her tone. I look deep into her eyes with affection.

"Biyah, you are elder to me. You can get angry on me like a sister. Stop with guilt." I had gone into her room this morning and she cried hugging me, apologizing for pointing at me two nights ago. "I have already told you it's okay. You know mom says we forget what our siblings said to us in a quick span of time. I considered you as my friend before marriage and now I consider you friend plus sister. So stop with that." I calmly explain to her. She has such a sweet heart.

"Thank you. And do you really not have blue marker?" I ask, grinning. She shakes her head at the silly excuse to come and have a talk with me.

"I am no one to speak between a sibling's fight but your brother only wants to fulfil his responsibility as your dignity protector, mm?" I say, hoping that listening from another mouth would give her a different angle to think upon.

She nods and I can sense that she is guilty but still in doubt.

Alright, everything takes time. I also took time once I was married to Airab. Time is the best healer and do wonders we can't even fathom.

***

I take slow steps to library to return borrowed books. My friend, Samra, was with me until some acquaintances grasped her, talking about something new his father's boutique has to offer for brides. Group assignment topic was tough and none of us was getting anything about it on the internet. Before I was sick, I had called the expert Bareera Aapi for it. She is doing PHD. In child Psychology there.

"So you have your husband on your fingertips?" The voice throws the owner's cheapness into my ears.

"Yes, because my fingers are always adorned with the rings he brings for me." I retort, showing off the diamond ring in my index finger of right hand. Since that masquerade night, I never forget to wear this to university.

"You must enjoy keeping men stick to you." He barks the nasty comment. Now, it's proved that you understand only how much your wee brain allows and sadly he doesn't have even a half gram of that.

What does he want? Me to kill him? Well now I am ready.

My eyes go red with anger. "Just like you have long list of girlfriends? So grateful to Allah to never let me slip into someone's trap." I mock at him. He needs to learn to stop messing up with me.

"Bitches like you only feign innocence but have 'long' sex drive." He almost mutters under his breath, stressing upon the long.

Gosh, is this a way to talk? He has gone past the boundaries in his angst. And the fact is I have a husband. Why this piece, born by mistake, has a problem with it?

"At least My Allah knows I am not committing any sin. And Mr. Wahab Butt, keep your language under check. Otherwise it's so easy for me to sort you out." I nod at him, letting him know I can do anything to his future.

My husband is one of the greatest benefactors of this university. "Don't ever cross my path again otherwise your family would find you dead!" I am true to my words. I would order Airab and I am sure he would arrange something so that he would be dead for me – At least.

And by the way I am very blithe about my achievement in my anger issues. I would have called him, bastard and blah, blah if Airab had not been telling me to never behave bad in return of bad behavior. Such a weird theory, but hey, it's more peaceful. It gives your heart an upper hand saying you are at least more humane than the other person.

***

Opening the door of his office, I launch myself all over him, sniffing.

"Honey bunny, who made you upset?" I never cry until I am hurt by Airab. He had apologized about his 'shout' last night and my heart was forced to erase that hit.

"Fight with that creepy greasy damn man!" I finally let out my frustration.

"Again?"

"Yes, again."

"Well, that weak person should accept your belongingness to me. He stands no chance." His baby-ish tone lightens my mood.

"Yes, he doesn't." The douche bag needs to get it to his soul that I am not his, I never was. I never passed him any signal.

"Okay now when you are here, have lunch with me."

"It's 12 only." I scrunch my nose at his proposal of lunch.

"Well, you are going to stay here. I miss romancing with my wife." Does he? Oh, my... We have been making love but not this fragmental romance here and there.

He leans his face into the crook of my neck, making all of sex hormones active along my nipples going hard, aching badly for his attention. One slight touch of him and I am done.

"Here." I say dreamily. We never made love in his office though he has a bedroom here with an attached bathroom.

"We will. Some other time." He tucks my hair behind ear looking at me with eye full of shenanigans. "I have work today."

Someone knocks disturbing our talks. If not this disturbance, I would have lured Airab till now. I roll my eyes. Asking me to move away, he habitually asks the other person to come in.

Ugh!

Before I could agree my heart to remove my hands from his blazer, I hear the voice of the woman I least expected. "Sir, it's almost done. You can check."

Airab smiles politely and then looks at me, asking me by his eyes to behave. Cannot I have some moments alone with him?

"Sorry, I would come later." She utters in an apologetic yet professional tone.

I do not want to remove my hands from his blazer. It is giving me a warm feeling. But seeing pleading expressions on Airab's face, I retreat back.

Turning, I look at the Miss Meher, dressed in a unique lemon color frock. I had seen it in a shopping Centre of Saddar. For bottoms, she is wearing Capri reaching hardly a little down to her knees. The matching heels and simple dangling hoops are completing the look. Gorgeous – she is looking that.

I suddenly feel annoyed. Airab quickly check her work while I munch onto my chips roaming around his cabin, checking things.

After going numerous time through that mini video, Airab, enlists many defaults adding to already enlisted by Manager of Animation Department. Why the hell she comes to my husband for such tasks for which he has already hired persons on thick salaries? And why does Airab not scold her for this childish demand of confirmation? Does she read in playgroup?

She folds the paper. "I heartily apologize for bothering you this much. This ad is my first. I promise I will behave next time." She apologizes, extremely bending towards Airab's face. How creep!

I feel to pull up her hairs from scalp. He is my husband. His eyes meet mine and he shifts nervously in his CEO chair.

Despite my eye expressions, he looks up to her and smiles. We are so going to fight.

Once she takes her way out after wishing me a good day, he walks towards me. I turn my face to other side, toiling to hold upon my anger under his penetrating gaze.

"Ezu..."

I roll eyes, folding arms at my chest.

"Why on the Earth she wants to thrust her breasts into your mouth." I angrily snap at him. How can I bear any woman close to him? He is only mine.

He bites his bottom lip, holding onto his grin. "Ezu, don't talk like that. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth."

"Yeah but you are okay with those near your face." My cheeks are heating up with the fury.

He shakes his head and brings his hand towards my breasts. I show my palm taking a step back.

"Next time, she is going to stand ten steps away from you." I announce my order. "Or I will make sure you stay ten feet away from me, clear?"

He nods showing me a cute pout.

"Why don't you say something on her dressing? She shows most of her skin."

"I need her at work. Please?"

"Wow, good." I remark, sarcastically. "Good enough to do the frequent visits to you for every frame confirmation? Why those two seniors of Animation department are there for?"

He does not answer, knowing being extra polite with that Ms. Mehar is his fault. I scrunch nose and sit my weight over his chair, feeling extremely powerful. "Mr. Airab, put your concentration On your work. You are ought to keep your wife closer and other women at distance, not even in the corner of frame where you and your gorgeous wife are." I say in a court tone, like judges say in serials and movies. He bursts out laughing while walking towards me.

My air shortens as he comes, sitting on his sleek white table. More I melt when he leans to chastens a soft kiss onto my lips – a tease he is being.

"I am thankful to you, dear wife, for never hiding your desires from me. I seriously would not have liked that shy and probably the fake version of yours." He expresses, looking deep into my eyes.

Though he has just complimented me, I feel an unsettling emotion in the pit of my stomach.

Bitches like you only feign innocence but have 'long' sex drive.

Am I that?

Honestly, I desire Airab so much.

"Hello, honey." I listen the voice of him snapping at me.

He raises my face to him, placing index finger under my chin. "I am sure I am not that distracting."

I smile, caressing his finger not under my chin anymore. "Did you talk to Biyah?" His muscles tense at my question. He is terribly missing his sister.

He slightly shakes his head. "No, she should come to me for a talk." Since that night, they both are like avoiding each other, waiting for the other person to initiate the sensible chat.

"You was very aggressive that night, Airab. She might be scared." I have seen the terror in Biyah's eyes. In addition, she is ashamed too.

Taking a deep sigh, he shrugs his shoulders. "What to eat today? I am famished." He is trying to change the topic. Well, there is nothing to discuss, too. The only thing awaiting is – siblings' reunion.

"Oh, I am famished too." My answer stretches the smile on his striking features and he notions me to order.

Bitches like you only feign innocence but have 'long' sex drive.

O Allah, please help me in forgetting that psycho's comment...

***

My mind is being clouded with the thoughts which are far, far away from the point of rationale. They are consuming my peace. Even I styled my hairs into curls in an attempt to divert my mind.

"Ezuu..." His excited voice coos me. He is always like this when coming from office.

Quickly reaching me, he grabs my arms, holding me for a deep and passionate kiss. But I sulk – being a very bad wife. I am feeling extremely low about my own self.

Am I a bitch?

"No, idiot. What is ruling your overriding thoughts?" Airab smacks my forehead and I realize I have spoken aloud. Now, he would not let me sit with peace until he provides me a solution of bothering thoughts.

"Nothing." I lie, flatly.

"Elza..." His tone is warning, saying Stupid-I-know-you. "I have had an adult chat with Meher. She would be careful onwards. I am so sorry to make you feel insecure." He cups my face ever so gently and plants a kiss closer to my lips. I did not bless him with a kiss after the lunch. He must be yearning since then.

I curve my bottom lip and slightly shakes my head.

"Okay, then what's the matter?"

"Did you express the truth in noon? About me desiring you?" I ask, hoping his clarification might put my heart at ease.

"Do I ever lie to you, sweetheart?" He smiles, kicking away some thick clouds of tension.

I hold the corner of his already opened tie, taking something to play with. "You now I heard a comment today. Its bothering." I do not look around but in his eye. They are always calm and peaceful.

Listening to my words, his brows crease and he waits for me to spill that comment. "Bitches like me only feign innocence but have 'long'... sex drive."

His eyes lose the tranquility making my heart to come into mouth.

"Oh... well, while your continuous thinking did you not for once thought that this sentence is itself wrong?" He scowls at me. He gets irritated by this habit of mine – thinking the worst.

"The women with virtue are not called bitches and bitches when feign innocence it is so obvious to catch their tricks. Last but not least, everybody has a long sex drive. The only difference is... bitches divide their long sex drive into many men. But the women like you who gets touched by only their husbands, they bare all of their desires to that one man only. And when it's that pure, the intensity of their desires get... intense." He captures my bottom lip in between his teeth to cap his explanation. Wow! He knows the words game. An advertisement maker surely knows it like the back of hand.

Tugging my bottom lip, he allows the lusty waves to run in my body. He caresses my heated skin which has surprisingly gone raw, and my thighs... well, they are terribly moisten. The mid of October is no way helping in keeping me cold. I am hot, very hot for his unbridged love.

"Would it be wrong to think that you are dying for me?"

I shake my head, gulping, staring at his lips.

"So much." My words end into his mouth and I am being ravished then.

He quickly digs his face in my breasts, doing his favorite task. I hiss, shuddering with waves of pleasure hitting my nerves at his tropic and piercing bites.

In the next moment, he starts to open his shirt buttons, nodding me to remove mine as well.

"To be assured that you are not thinking absurd things anymore, I want you to take me."

Oh my, me.

We divest off our clothes getting hotter with each hundredth fraction of a second. The shine of his eyes has me under a strong spell.

He sits on bed, only for me to straddle him. I gladly take the place on his thighs admiring his strong physique. Being the gentleman he is, he takes the silk coverlet I usually spread over the bedsheet before we make love and cover our bottoms leaving my breasts naked to him.

I enjoy every inch of him, rebuking myself every minute to think absurd things. He is my husband who deserves every ounce of my attention and love. No other should intervene in his right.

***

Tensions. Tensions. Tensions.

They want friendship with me. Though I don't want to.

Finally, its bare to me what was bothering mama.

Eavesdropping is not my style but what you are supposed to do when you wake up at one of midnight and your husband is not lying beside you. Search him, right?

Succeeding in my search, I found him in his parents' room at ground floor. Stepping ahead, I heard discussion about me. He was sitting on floor, asking his mother about her problem with me. Airab is not blind. He was also noticing the cold shoulders being given to me by mama. She did not reply until Airab threatened that he will get separate taking me. My handsome actor! He always plays emotional trick on elders.

Her reply though has me stunned.

"When I look at her and see that blithe of happily married woman, it makes me happy that she is happy with you. However, there are moments when she is in pain. I get it despite she does not share her personal things with anyone. I know she is married to you, and it is your right. Yet I see her as a naïve baby." This was her reply which has put me in tension. Ha! No one cared when they were excitedly forcing me to get married with Airab.

No matters what mama thinks of, she is still better than my birth mother. Her love is pure. Maybe at that time she was flown into the love of her son but now she is guilty. My own mother would never be.

Seeing the mother-son love, my eyes go misty. I never had this kind of relation with my mother and now... it's just a formality from my side.

I step into the room and join Airab in placing head in mama's lap, gaining the peace he is savoring.

"Elza..." She cannot believe I am here and have heard them.

"I am sorry if..." I shake my head. She is my mother in law. She cannot say sorry to me even when she is wrong though I am kind of a girl who says elders are humans too. They surely can commit mistake.

I kiss her hand and ask for her blessing. Baba is in deep sleep in the bedroom and thus we are able to have a chat in the small living area of their room. "I hope I didn't disturb mother-son moment." I cu chi cu mama's cheeks. Ah, I have missed her.

My mind however is not ready to forget the intrusions. What people think of us? We are married. Why our sexual relation is a concerning topic for everyone? I need to have a serious talk about it with Airab. I hate interventions in my personal life.

Okay, negativity is again consuming me. Airab has started to lit salt lamps in our room saying they keep the mind in tranquil. They magically work but human is human. What can happen until he reciprocates to his surroundings?

***

"Delicious for eternity." He compliments nuzzling the length of my neck with his slightly cold nose tip.

"Forbid all." I murmur, unable to keep it all in me. It is enough on my side.

"About what, sweetheart?" My ear is now being lusciously bitten by his teeth, though they are out of my sight, I still very well know about them being white and strong.

"That they should stop with the advises." I may sound rude but for now Elza Haroon has no care about it. I step out of his hold and face him, to have a talk or a fight? Only time will decide that.

"I am fed up, okay." When I groan and Biyah teases Bhabhi well practiced with the specific sounds then it does not matter. It's a girl to girl tease but advises are off-limits.

"My mama, your mama; why all have care now? Your parents came with the proposal and mine accepted it. So what now? Where was their care and generosity earlier? Not a hint of guilt I noticed at that time. What has changed now?"

"Elza honey, baby, calm down. I have..."

I meddle his sentence. No, calm down this time. Why is it their problem if we sleep together? It is not anyone's matter other than us.

He has his mouth shut making me more irked.

"Some say we should take care and some say we should not start our family any soon. What they all want? Do they want to imply that I am not good enough for you? Leave me, leave me now!"

"ELZA..." His shut-mouth opens to rebuke me in a dangerously authoritative voice, totally winding my outrageous non-stop blabbering. What have I said???

"Do you have any idea what have you just uttered? What do you want me to do? Would you mind repeating?" He grits his jaws making my throat go dry. He has gone furious.

"I... I..."

"Yes, PLEASE..." He demands with the blazing eyes.

"I want you to do what others want. If not, then make it crystal to them that I am yours and you are mine. No one else gets to decide whether I should sleep with you or not when I am in your Nikah and in your home after the Rukhsati. It's our wish." I whisper-shout at him.

"Other's wish doesn't matter in our private issues." He gazes me from top to bottom and his gaze linger upon my face with... distrust? "But don't you dare to forget what you uttered a minute ago. Am I clear?" He warns me with his finger, sternly. I am in a big mess. When Airab is angry, he is torturing angry. He would terribly ignore you.

It is better if I apologize right at this moment. "Airab, I..."

"Not now." He bellows making me jerk at my place. O Allah, this is some real mess I have created for my own self. He bears my anger but what I have said will not be forgiven soon. It is not as if I demanded time or dessert when he is in neck deep work. It is big.

I thud on the bed rubbing my temples. I love him. How could I utter about that?

As far as I have gotten to know him, he is hurt at my words. He is hurt that how I could think of such thing. Where he went wrong that such thoughts crossed my mind. He has personality disorder. I am trying to make him selfish. We often joke that I will make my final project on him. I chuckle despite the strained environment. O Allah, you are going to help me. He has just started to be with me with all of his heart, body and soul.

I gather my legs, bow my aching head, and starts to think of the ways to woo my husband

Sex or seduction?

Nah, he is way too practical. My mind instantly replies my heart.

If he does not misbehave with me, does not call me names, does not beat me, or does not consider me as a low life, that does not make him impractical. It makes him more of a practical person who knows how to live facing the world by standing at the heart of it.

Then... affection and cuddling?

***

I hate when people throw such advises if you are happily enjoying your married life.

How would she woo him? Or will the time snatch opportunity from her?

Vote and Comment please.