some scenes in jeongguk's pov!!
dual pov was HIGHLY requested :D

parts included:
   — chapter 2 (first meet in the diner)
— chapter 3 (smoothies and leather don't mix)
— chapter 6 (surfing lesson)
— chapter 9 (starting over)
   — chapter 15/16 (the first cliff scene + kiss)
— chapter 19 (the drive-in movies)
   — chapter 21/23 (their argument + second drowning incident)
   — chapter 29 (bonfire)
   — chapter 32.5 (something to gift to his surfer) **KINDA NEW??

i tried to include the most requested scenes and i'm sorry if i didn't include one you wanted!!

i hope you enjoy the ones I did manage to write because it's a longggg chap :)

—

CHAPTER 2- the first meet.

Jeongguk leaned back on his hands, eyeing the crowded table quietly. He sat on the table just beside the booth, kicking his feet up onto a chair, as Yoongi hopped onto the spine of the booth next to Jimin's head.

Namjoon swung a chair close to the edge of their table, wide smile putting his dimples on display.

Jeongguk swept his eyes around the table to catch the familiar faces; the surfers were clearly annoyed and it was all the more entertaining.

He was definitely excited to be far from bored with their pretty faces around, all perfect and easy to wind up like jack-in-the-boxes ready to explode at any second.

Oh, he would love to piss them off, tick them off one by one.

Part of him thought it was a bit not exciting, too, though. Same faces, same people. Of course, it helped that he knew exactly how to get under their skin from the summer before, but Jeongguk wouldn't mind a challenge. It was all too easy with the surfers.

Jeongguk rested his forearms on his knees, hands dangling over his bent legs, and he felt the leather across his shoulder strain as he relaxed at the edge of the table.

The five men at the main booth were talking over one another, Jeongguk's attention half-fixed on them.

That's when he heard the door's bell jingle.

And his head turned away from the ongoing commotion to the entrance.

His lip quirked seeing another familiar face. Mark Tuan. His favorite diner owner's son. He backed off from the guy in most cases before of Mark's father, but Mark's sun kissed skin and lean body didn't go unnoticed by Jeongguk.

Jeongguk's grin fell as he saw the second person in the doorway, standing next to Mark.

Their eyes met and Jeongguk felt his gears spin like they'd been oiled and cleaned for the first time in ages, head tilting as the curious interest hit him instantly.

Oh. He'd never seen this guy before. And, damn, Jeongguk was so glad he finally got the chance to.

The dark hair on his head was cutting in front of his eyes, eyes that were wide and pretty. His lips were so full and red, skin tan and collarbones peaking out from under his floral shirt, which was unbuttoned a few inches to air him out.

Jeongguk's lips tugged upward when he saw the new guy's eyes wander down his face and along his seated figure. He loved that. He loved those eyes catching the leather on his arms and the darkness of his clothing. Down to his legs and then back up the way they came.

He hardly noticed Mark had left the area, too wrapped up in those pretty eyes and nice lips to even care. Jeongguk had plenty of thoughts running through his head looking at the guy standing just some feet away— thoughts that he wasn't sure he could act on just yet.

But he could toy with the newcomer. He was toying the other guy as their eyes met again and Jeongguk raised a brow teasingly, mocking him for the obvious staring.

Getting some emotion out of him was good enough for Jeongguk in that moment. The new guy looked so hot standing there and maintaining some eye contact with him. Like there was confidence in his otherwise quiet seeming nature.

Jeongguk hummed in his head. He would love to get the guy talking. Yelling. Pissed off at him and getting under his skin just like the surfers sitting at the booth.

It was like Jeongguk was a psychic as the new guy's eyes narrowed, the tiniest sliver of dosage bitter on his tongue and spoiling his mood.

Oh, he must have known who Jeongguk was.

That must've meant he was a surfer, too.

One more to the trio Jeongguk had met last summer.

He liked that new guy more than the rest of them by far. There was something about him— maybe it was just because he was a face, refreshing to his eye, that drew him in and made Jeongguk want to bother the man into a mess.

"Oh, look who joined the party," Yoongi noticed Mark. "Our favorite diner owner's son."

Yoongi took the words right out of his mouth.

Jeongguk watched Mark speak to Namjoon in response instead, downplaying the significance of Yoongi's attention. Clearly that annoyed the mint haired man as he shoved Jimin's shoulder and said, "You can't kick customers out without reason."

Jimin faltered at the sudden shove and Jeongguk saw the new guy move in his peripheral vision. His hands were clenched, the fire in his eyes growing the longer he stared at the bikers in the booth.

Jeongguk grinned wickedly. Maybe this guy wouldn't be so tough to crack. Jeongguk could have loads of fun.

"We've got a newcomer." He said, earning the attention of the room in the lack of voice's presence.

The glare he got some the guy made his nerves buzz in joy. Jeongguk's eyes narrowed as he dipped his head once in a nod, greeting the man as if he was some gentleman. Far from it.

Namjoon waved a hand, motioning him over, and Jeongguk saw Jin scoff. Wonderful. "Oh, do join us."

His eyes went straight to the surfer taking slow strides towards the booth, raking over his body with every step that was taken. Jeongguk let his thoughts wander, consume the guy's presence into his own head and watch as he wordlessly sat next to Hoseok— who put a hand on his shoulder.

That guy hadn't been around the summer before, Jeongguk noted, even though he seemed close to the other three surfers. The biker couldn't help but be curious as to who he was and why Jeongguk was only just seeing him for the first time.

"What's your name, handsome?" Yoongi was taking him in, too. It was mockingly, though, and Jeongguk knew it was because Yoongi wanted nothing more from them but to trouble their lives. "Humor me. I'm Yoongi."

The new guy looked incredibly disinterested. Jeongguk was surprised by that, his quiet voice hardly matching the strong emotions he seemed to display. Clearly there was a lot going on in his head— words he didn't express aloud.

Jeongguk knew that there was nothing good in getting involved with the surfers except to fuck with their perfect little lives, but he couldn't help but find that the guy's personality seemed different than the others.

More contemplative and less straightforward. Like he thought a lot before acting on something. Cautious.

It made him almost giddy. Because Jeongguk was anything but cautious and he would love to ruin the new guy with the stain of a biker.

"I didn't ask. And I'm not here for introductions."

Jeongguk was pursing his lips to hold back a chuckle as Yoongi's face fell. So, the guy could bite back. He found that to be even better.

"How rude. You must be one of these wonderful surfers."

There was no denial. The pretty guy was a surfer.

"And you wish you could be one, Yoongi."

Oh, that was hilarious, Jeongguk thought to himself. They'd never trade in their bikes for boards. And Yoongi? Especially not.

"Waves? Nah, bikes are more fun to ride, sunshine."

Jeongguk did want to try surfing himself. It seemed straightforward enough after he'd observed those surfers all summer long whenever he was lounging in the sand at the same time.

He wanted to see their stupid faces when he managed to ace something so important to them. He could imagine how much they'd hate him.

"You guys visiting 'cause last years complaints weren't enough for you?" Jin crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat, glowering at the three of them. Jeongguk stared back with an amused gaze.

Jin was funny. The oldest guy of the lot and Jeongguk would relate him to Mr.Tuan in his head for a good laugh.

"Come on now, that's no way to say hello." Namjoon's voice was heard.

Jeongguk wasn't paying attention to the other five people seated at the table. His eyes were back on the new guy. He loved staring at him. Taking him in. Thinking about all the things he wanted to do to the guy— he could imagine how could he would taste, how nice his lips would feel against his own.

Yoongi would kill him, so he knew some things were off limits in the given light.

Jeongguk's quiet staring didn't go unnoticed. Their eyes met again. The other seemed surprised to have caught his gaze, but Jeongguk didn't care. He was noting that Taehyung had taken the initiative to look at him in the first place instead.

Say something, yell at me, show me what you've got, Surfer.

He put the words in his stare, the guy's eyes narrowing defiantly.

Jeongguk didn't mind a challenge. And he really liked the challenge that was the dark haired surfer sitting near him.

Yoongi and Jimin said something and Jeongguk didn't pay attention until Jimin was purposefully knocking an elbow into Yoongi's arm to throw him off his balance atop of the booth.

"Fuck you—"

"Fuck off, Min Yoongi." Hoseok cut him off. "Today was going great before you guys showed up."

Jeongguk thought his day had gotten so much better after walking into that diner. Even better seeing the quiet guy's face. So structured, but soft. Warm in color and choppy in whirling thoughts like the storm was piling above his head.

"What's up with you?" Jin was suddenly looking at him, making him grin at the gain of attention. "Haven't said much today, Jeongguk."

"You like to hear my voice or something?" Jeongguk's voice came out raspier from the lack of use, deep in his throat and lazy with a distinct carelessness.

Namjoon pointed out that the still nameless guy had yet to say much either.

Jeongguk liked that. He liked the quiet ones. They were the ones with the best surprises, anyway.

The conversation went on and Jeongguk listened in with his attention going spotty again. Insults and bicker thrown back and forth, around the table...

He saw Mr.Tuan step out of the kitchen in the corner of his eye. The elder man was at the table in seconds and breaking up the group, splitting them up into the leather and beachwear.

Jeongguk hopped off the table and met the new guy's eyes one last time, shooting him a wink because the newcomer deserved that much after keeping Jeongguk interested for longer that most— despite not even speaking to each other once.

—

CHAPTER 3– smoothies and leather don't mix.

Jeongguk didn't think anything could top a quiet night at the beach after a quick visit to the diner for a banana milk carton.

Not until he was walking down the sand, towards the tide line, and saw another body seated at the edge of land and sea.

That was when his night got even better because he recognized pretty new surfer sitting with his back to the diner. Jeongguk approached him wordlessly, wondering if the guy would notice.

The surfer didn't. He was strung off into the horizon like his thoughts were a dreamland, so Jeongguk shrugged and opened his mouth. "Hey, why are you here all alone?"

Rigidness stiffened the guy's spine, his grip on the glass in his hand tightening and eyes narrowing— maintaining his gaze on the horizon like he was trying to ignore Jeongguk.

Jeongguk didn't plan on leaving, though. Instead, he stepped forward and sat down just five feet from the surfer. It clearly ticked the other off.

But he didn't say anything to Jeongguk. He sighed internally, knowing he had to do all the work in pushing the guy's buttons.

Maybe acting friendly would work in pissing the surfer off. It had before when Yoongi had greeted him.

"Don't ignore me, handsome. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Don't call me that." He muttered in response, and Jeongguk took it as a victory.

Not that he expressed that; he even clicked his tongue, feigning disappointment and pushing more. "Hmm, tell me what I should call you then? I was just using Yoongi Hyung's name for you."

"You should not call me anything and leave me alone, Jeongguk."

Oh. The surfer had remembered his name. One slip of it in conversation and it was engrained in the guy's brain. That was great. Jeongguk grinned and caught the newcomer sip at his drink with a disgusted expression.

He did seem like the type to throw up a strong front for much weaker initial reactions.

Jeongguk didn't say anything. Just copied the surfer and drank from his own carton of milk while staring out at the dark, calmer ocean. The waves made the air feel cool and moist, leather jacket chilly on the outside because of it. Jeongguk pushed his hair back with combing fingers.

Not only had this guy remembered his name, Jeongguk had seen in his peripheral, but he also had been staring.

He seemed to stare a lot. Jeongguk liked staring, too. So much could be said without words and he liked that more than talking.

But he loved teasing people more.

"Oh, don't flatter me with so much staring, baby."

The surfer seemed incredibly put off by the pet name that had slipped out unintentionally— his flirtatious nature so common in his everyday speech.

"I said not to call me names and leave."

"Then tell me your name." Jeongguk shrugged, like it was the easiest solution and it in fact was. "I don't know it, so I can't use it."

"Taehyung."

And somehow it fit his face and presence perfectly. Jeongguk didn't need to remind himself of the surfer's name in worry of forgetting— he planned on seeing Taehyung that summer since he was a surfer and that meant they'd have to get familiar with one another.

"Now, will you just go?"

"I haven't even done anything to you, Taehyung." Jeongguk hummed truthfully, smile lacing his lips. "Besides, it's diner property, why do you surfers think you can just kick us off?"

"You're so damn aggravating. It's called giving someone the space to think."

So, they both utilized the nightly shore with purpose. Jeongguk found that pretty interesting to consider. Especially when no one knew they were even in each other's presence besides (probably) Mr.Tuan.

Jeongguk, however, couldn't express that he spent his nights thinking about unspeakable things at the water's reach.

"I know very well what that is," he chuckled. "Just don't care. Annoying people is my favorite thing to do."

"Mind annoying anyone but me?"

Jeongguk didn't see that interest he had in learning about Taehyung reciprocated. That ignorance that the surfers had built up to be able to not care that the bikers had a reason for their lives was ridiculous.

He turned to him. "You surfers have quite the life."

"Excuse me?" Jeongguk expected nothing less than the offense for his words. Predictable surfer behavior, honestly. Always taking things so personal. "What does that mean?"

"Mhm," he swirled a design into the sand, showing off his boredom. "The perfect group of guys, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't say perfect, but certainly better than all of you assholes."

And Taehyung had actually known them for a day. He liked being annoying and pissing people off, but something about Taehyung being annoyed was irritating. Like he didn't deserve to be.

Jeongguk laughed bitterly. "Right. They must have filled you in on how terrible we are, hmm? Damn, you guys can't take a joke."

"Joking doesn't involve hurting people." Taehyung shot back and Jeongguk's sarcastic smile fell. "Bothering residents, customers, causing trouble in the city— you've done it all."

"Haven't hurt anyone, Saltine." He rolled his eyes, the nickname coming to him without much contemplation and he liked the way it rolled off his tongue. "Wouldn't do so unless someone else threw the first hit."

Jeongguk didn't think he'd hurt anyone even out of defense. His fingers dug into the sand just from the mention of it.

"Now, that's reassuring. And I have a name that's not Saltine. That's a terrible name."

He relaxed at the switch of conversation and shifted forward, leaning in and removing a foot of space between them.

Jeongguk didn't really care about the meaning of Taehyung's words— his mind automatically went to the low tone of his voice, the way it was breathy and effortless, sounding somehow dark, but calming. Jeongguk felt like it probably floated in his mouth before leaving his lips, a cushion to levitate like the moon in the dark sky.

Or the buoyancy of the water in front of them. 

"I like your deep voice." He thought aloud. "And I don't give a shit about what you think."

He was curious about one thing. If Taehyung hadn't been at the beach the summer before, they would have never crossed paths at night, all alone.

"Do you come here often?" He asked the surfer.

Instead of answering the genuine question, Taehyung was standing and rudely leaving.

"I'm done with this conversation." Taehyung declared and Jeongguk also rose to stand at his height. "Just let me sit in peace, Greased Lightning."

"Greased Lightning?" He was getting a nickname in return. Jeongguk felt like he was being mocked and there was plenty wrong with that.

Taehyung only walked two feet before his hand was reaching out and grabbing the surfer's arm.

The first time they'd ever touched.

Jeongguk felt the skin press soft against his calloused fingers, the touch of skin on skin sending a tingle shooting down his spine. No one had given him a nickname in a long time and Jeongguk thought that he liked Greased Lightning.

And odd choice to come to Taehyung's mind first. A cheesy, romantic musical— perhaps, Taehyung was some romantic idealist himself.

"That makes you..." Jeongguk's grip tightened ever so slightly. "A pink lady with silly sleepovers."

"Goddamn, you're impossible." He jerked on the hold. "Let go of my arm."

"It's rude to leave a conversation in the middle of it, Saltine." He wasn't even holding Taehyung painfully. It was a comfortable grip and clearly the surfer was just making a big deal of nothing.

"Yeah? Well, I don't give a shit about what you think." Taehyung mocked the biker's own words, and Jeongguk's brow raised, fingers pinching into the surfer's skin before he realized it. "Jeongguk, let go, or I'll start screaming my head off."

The look of panic on Taehyung's face made his grip slacken.

And suddenly Jeongguk felt like he'd been drenched. He froze in surprise before staring down at the wetness around his chest to see orange.

Orange that was Taehyung's fucking mango smoothie. On both his shirt and, more importantly, his leather jacket.

Taehyung had thrown the contents of his glass all over him— which was fucking uncalled for.

Jeongguk stumbled away from Taehyung, cursing repeatedly as he quickly shed the jacket and attempted to wipe it dry of the sticky drink.

Jeongguk wasn't in the mood to tease anyone anymore. He was just pissed.

There was mango pulp clinging to his leather.

"You got it on the fucking leather." He snapped, eyes dark and anger clear within. That jacket meant too much to get ruined by a damn surfer. "If this gets ruined because of your stupid drink, I will make you pay."

"Pay? You mean like how you and your motorcycle friends paid for all the damage you cause?" Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest, and Jeongguk exhaled harshly. Every word coming out of those lips was cutting his fuse shorter and shorter. "Like hell I will."

He hated the smug look on Taehyung's face as his tongue raked the inside of his cheek, hands gripped around the leather collar, staring the surfer down.

"Aww, you look like you wanna hit me, Greased Lightning," Taehyung was pushing him just like Jeongguk had been doing earlier. Call him a hypocrite, which he didn't even care about, but Jeongguk refused to taste his own medicine. "Do it then, hit me. Oh wait, you won't throw the first hit; what a gentleman."

"You fucking—"

"Taehyung, Jeongguk, go home."

The strikingly distinct voice cut through the air and both of them were jumping in surprise. Jeongguk saw Mr.Tuan standing at the edge of the parking lot, looking rather tired of their presence like he'd been watching them the whole time.

Goody fucking two shoes was moving first, leaving Jeongguk by the shore to hurry over to the old man.

"Mr.Tuan! I was just heading home, I'm sorry about this."

Bullshit, Jeongguk clenched his jaw. Taehyung was neither just heading home nor was he sorry about what he'd done to Jeongguk's jacket. Jeongguk was trekking back to the pavement of the lot just after the surfer reached the diner owner.

He heard the softest murmur of Tuan's words, "don't mess with them, Taehyung."

Jeongguk didn't need to hear that. He didn't need to hear Mr.Tuan helping him so pitifully— protecting him like that. Jeongguk could fight his own battles and it at that point everything had dug deep into his frustration.

Taehyung was in disbelief that Mr.Tuan was telling him off, too, he realized as he brushed past the surfer and left the lot as wordlessly and quickly as he could.

Jeongguk hated that; he'd had enough of Mr.Tuan's help and he could handle Taehyung himself.

—

CHAPTER 6- the surfing lesson.
a/n: keep in mind this is post jk saving th :)

"What can I get for you?" Taehyung's voice sounded dead. Maybe his body had yet to catch up with the fact that he was still alive.

Namjoon and Taehyung said something to each other before they were quickly ordering and the surfer was punching in some buttons of the register. Jeongguk put his hands in his pockets, watching the dull droning of the guy as he worked like an empty headed robot.

Namjoon and Yoongi walked away. Jeongguk stayed put.

He had questions. He had... a secret debt owed to him.

Taehyung stared at him incredulously for sticking around. "Can I help you?"

"You're not surfing with your friends." His brow raised, head tilting as he eyes the surfer. He hadn't seen the other three around.

Why wasn't Taehyung with them?

Sure he had nearly died, but why was that stopping him from getting in the water. Or even just hanging out with them?

Jeongguk didn't understand why Taehyung was constricting himself to the confines of the register and drink bar.

"They aren't surfing right now...?" Taehyung blinked, looking equally confused (if so, more). "Um, anyways, no, I'm not."

"How come?"

"Why do you care?"

Right. They didn't like each other. Jeongguk certainly didn't find a lot attractive about a guy as hot as Taehyung who could piss him off and hold him steady in their tug of war. Definitely didn't.

"I don't." Jeongguk scoffed, the distaste lining his lips. Taehyung looked relieved as he leaned back in his chair. "Just wondering why you don't wanna cool off and instead sit here, sweating like a pig."

"Sweating like a pig— I can mess up your food, don't mess with me, Jeongguk."

"Wow," Jeongguk grinned at that fire in his voice. "I'm terrified. I'll know exactly who the culprit is if I get poisoned."

"Yeah, because you're in such good standings with the local police that they'd believe you." Taehyung looked irritated like always.

"Damn, who shoved a stick up your ass, saltine?" He laughed.

"Would you stop calling me that?"

Jeongguk didn't plan on dropping saltine anytime soon.

His eyes were focused on the surfer, who met his gaze before surprisingly shying away and looking down. Jeongguk smiled to himself, seeing the fluster in Taehyung's actions, as he shamelessly took in the warm cheeks and sweat along Taehyung's hairline, his big hands and nimble fingers so very pretty.

Jeongguk would love those hands on him.

"You look hot." Jeongguk's lip tugged upward on one side, leaning forward so he loomed over the surfer. "Like grossly hot, saltine. Why don't we go on a drive so you can cool down?"

"Like hell we will." Taehyung muttered, and Jeongguk saw him putting up a mask to hide the embarrassment. "And how are you not dying in leather?"

Well, he didn't take it off very often, so he'd just gotten used to how warm it was inside. Didn't mind it anymore. Certainly didn't think Taehyung's question was worth his energy to answer.

His question, however, about Taehyung not hanging near the water was worth his time. Taehyung didn't seem to have put the pieces together that the person who saved him was standing in front of him and Jeongguk found that amusing in itself.

A little frustrating considering that would mean Taehyung owed him. And am owed favor could come in handy.

Jeongguk had an idea for how to find out.

"You know what would be sick."

"What would be sick, Jeongguk?" Taehyung was entertaining him. Good. Unexpected, even, considering that Taehyung had expressed his disinterest for the biker.

Maybe he was bored. He had to be. Taehyung had looked miserable just minutes ago when they'd walked in.

Jeongguk could help him.

"You teaching me how to surf." He shrugged. "That would be sick."

"And why would I do that?"

"It'll be fun and you look like you could use something more interesting to do, saltine."

Jeongguk did genuinely want to learn how. Surfing seemed fun enough to try out. That just wasn't his main priority.

"Not bored enough to ride your stupid motorcycle." Taehyung said, going back to his rejection of the previous offer, and Jeongguk chuckled.

"Then you wanna show me how to surf anyways? You do owe me."

The surprise on Taehyung's face was instant. Jeongguk knew it. The surfer had no damn idea.

"What?" Taehyung gaped at him and his skin went pale... pale? Jeongguk knew that kind of drain came from negative thoughts running through his head. "I don't owe you anything, Greased Lightning."

Oh, how wrong you are, Taehyung.

Jeongguk didn't let up. "Whatever you say, saltine. When are you off? I can meet you by the water and you can show me some basics."

"I never agreed to this? And I'm not going in the water."

That was the confession he'd been looking for.

Skin-paling thoughts, refusing to go in the water— not long after he'd almost drowned... Jeongguk could tell there was something worse going on inside Taehyung's head. Something that was keeping him behind that diner counter and not out in the water like he would have been otherwise.

That surfing accident had done a number on him and Jeongguk took the fear that might have come from it very seriously.

"You don't have to go into the water. We can stay on the sand."

"Like I said, I'm not that bored."

Taehyung was trying to play it off; he could see it so clearly. He needed to convince the surfer there was better use for his time.

"Wouldn't it be cool to see a biker surf, though? Maybe I can challenge Hoseok— he's your best one, isn't he?"

He saw the conflict of Taehyung's thoughts etch onto his expression. He was contemplating and weighing his options. Until they tipped over in Jeongguk's favor.

"Why are you so keen on surfing? Aren't 'bikes more fun to ride'?" He quoted the Yoongi's words from days ago. Taehyung seemed to pay close attention to conversations. Seemed to actually care.

Jeongguk raised a brow at him. "Am I not allowed to be a bit curious? I'd like to see what's so fun about it for myself."

"You're annoying."

Like Jeongguk didn't know that already.

"Oh, really?" Jeongguk crossed his arms over his chest and hid a smile when he noticed Taehyung's eyes darting down to his arms, straining in the leather. "Then why haven't you shot down my proposal?"

"Meet me by the diner's dock in two hours. I'll be off by then."

"Seems to me like you are bored enough." He hadn't expected Taehyung to cave so quickly, honestly and Jeongguk figured he'd underestimated how exhausted Taehyung must have been after his accident.

How bad was it?

"Just today. Then you can do whatever you want with that dumb lesson. Go against Hoseok Hyung and face defeat, I guess."

"Sticking a wave will be victory in itself." Jeongguk snickered, turning to walk away to his hyungs. "I'll see you in two hours."

"Hey." Taehyung stopped him and Jeongguk turned back around, nodding for him to continue. "Don't gloat about this, please. And don't talk about me not wanting to surf."

Oh, this trauma of his was much worse than Jeongguk thought. It was almost a reminder to his own memories. Keeping the pain from the eyes and ears of others.

He understood Taehyung's wish all too well.

He smiled obnoxiously. "Our little secret, handsome."

"Go back to calling me saltine." Taehyung muttered and he laughed while heading to the other bikers sitting in a booth.

~•४•~

Jeongguk was late. Not that he cared, considering he'd taken his sweet time putting on a plain black tee and shorts, pants and his leather jacket on top of it so he could leave the apartament without Yoongi and Namjoon thinking anything of it.

When he reached the diner's backyard, having put his jacket and pants into the seat compartment of his bike, he saw Taehyung laying down next to his board.

Taehyung craned his neck to look at him, that pretty gaze trailing along his whole figure, and Jeongguk helped his fluster out by ruffling his hair and tossing it back.

Taehyung looked away and stood.

As they talked, Taehyung grabbed the unattached fin of his board and playing with it. Nervous habit? Or maybe it was unscrewed because he seriously planned not to get in the water.

But then he let the fin fall back into the sand and crossed his arms over his chest tiredly.

Taehyung's surfer friends were on a fishing trip. He was thinking aloud when he said, "Oh, so this no-surfing thing extends to all water shit?"

"Let's get started!" Taehyung excitement was overloaded and clearly fake. "Surfing 101 with Kim Taehyung. The sooner we get done here, the sooner I can stop seeing your face."

"Wow, what a wonderful instructor you are."

"Alright, rules." Taehyung was beaming, but Jeongguk didn't believe it. He thought he saw some sadness underlying in his eyes. "One. You listen to what I say, because if you screw with my board I will literally destroy your bike. Two, we aren't going in the water, you can just go all in for real surfing whenever this challenge happens."

"And if I get hurt?"

"Mission accomplished."

Well, shit. Wasn't Taehyung such an amazing soul? Returning his owed favor to Jeongguk for saving his damn life?

"You deserve the best fucking teacher award, honestly."

"I appreciate that." Taehyung tapped his sandy board with his board. "That's it with the rules! So, you gotta be fit—"

"Done."

"— and have good core and arm strength—"

"Also done." Too easy. He thought surfing would be harder.

"— because this is incredibly taxing. We will start with the positioning."

"You know I've watched people surf before. I'm not entirely clueless." Taehyung was treating him like a child and that annoyed him.

"Watching is much different than doing, Greased Lightning. When you swim out— you can swim right?"

He stared at the surfer incredulously. Taehyung was asking that as if he hadn't swam out into the ocean during a terrible downpour and dragged his unconscious, ungrateful ass back to the shore.

"Are you fucking joking or...?"

"It's a genuine concern." If Taehyung had been taking all of his hints, then maybe the oblivious lame shit would already know.

"No, of course I'm learning how to surf without knowing how to swim."

"The sarcasm isn't appreciated."

"Don't care, saltine."

Taehyung laid out a bunch of obscure notes about how much of the success in timing his surfing came from simple practice and that he was most likely screwed. Not that the surfer was going to help him in that area, Taehyung made that clear.

"...it's a lot more doing, so do what I tell you to do."

Jeongguk raised a brow. He was better at watching someone and picking it up. "You can't just demonstrate it?"

"Uh... I'd rather not. Just try following my instructions first."

Taehyung looked panicked by his request. Jeongguk kept that in mind.

He followed the surfer's instructions, memorizing them carefully like messing it up would make the world explode.

But then he said something that Jeongguk didn't understand, making the biker just stare at him in confusion, and Taehyung groaned. Jeongguk had told him to just show it from the start.

"What's so difficult about what I'm saying?"

"I'm better at copying, it'd be helpful for you to just demonstrate, Taehyung."

He wasn't getting on his board. Jeongguk realized that Taehyung must have felt so alienated by the sudden fear to come close to all parts of his accident— including his surfboard.

That sounded miserable. And so he stood up and put his hands on Taehyung's shoulders. Jeongguk was pushing him towards the board despite Taehyung's protests.

He'd seen fear. He knew fear. Taehyung could at least stand on his board.

"Come on, try."

"Fine." Taehyung hissed, pushing him away and following his own instructions to do what Jeongguk had been told.

Jeongguk was watching him carefully, hearing how his breath went ragged and shallow. He was taken aback by how Taehyung trembled when he pushed himself to stand, placement in the position he had mentioned earlier.

That trembling escalated into instability and Jeongguk's eyes widened when Taehyung wobbled on his own two feet and slipped backward, collapsing like he'd been snapped off strings.

He caught the surfer just in time. The weight in his arms familiar and Taehyung took a moment to realize he wasn't on the sand, but in someone's arms.

The familiarity echoed in Taehyung expression as his eyes snapped wide and took in Jeongguk's face close to his. Jeongguk saw his shadow shielding Taehyung from the sun, making his face the clearest thing in Taehyung's point of view.

Taehyung was in bad shape.

"I don't think you kept your core tight enough." Jeongguk chuckled quietly, helping Taehyung stand just as the surfer gasped pushed away from him.

"J-Just do that, but don't fall." Taehyung fumbled out, desperately calming his staggered breaths.

Jeongguk didn't comment on Taehyung's faulty dry land work, instead just listening and copying the surfer's movement.

He saw Taehyung staring at his arms, gaze pinned to them like they'd burned the surfer upon catching him.

When are you going to realize, Taehyung?

—

CHAPTER 9- starting over.

Taehyung was standing behind him and Jeongguk thought it was incredibly amusing how long he was taking to just say hello.

But he did eventually.

"Hey, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk braced himself on his palms, head tipping up to look at Taehyung, who was standing above him.

"I was wondering if you were going to just stand there all night." The biker grinned before looking back down and straight ahead at the water.

Taehyung sounded a little speechless.

"Did I impress you that much with my surfing? You've come to kiss up to me alone?" More silence. "Left you speechless, have I? Welcome to the long list."

That helped to anger Taehyung enough into actually saying something.

"Cut the crap, Jeongguk." Taehyung sat down not far from him.

"Cut what crap?" Jeongguk feigned blissful ignorance. "I think you're invading my space to think, Saltine."

"You're making this awfully difficult."

Where was Taehyung going with things? Jeongguk wondered for a second if the surfer had figured things out. He'd taken his sweet time playing detective.

"Making what difficult? If you wanna play Romeo and Juliet, fall for me rivalry style and confess, just say that, baby."

"I don't like you. You stole my thinking space."

Go figure, Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "The world doesn't revolve around you."

"Look who's fucking talking."

"Oh, I wonder where you got that idea. I'm self conceited?"

"Convince me otherwise."

I saved your life, you little shit.

If anything, Taehyung was being inconsiderate. He got defensive in his head, seeing as last time he'd thrown consideration out the window, his life had been ripped to shreds.

"What are you doing here?" Jeongguk couldn't help his voice quieting that time, grin growing on his lips. God, he was too good at hiding his thoughts sometimes. "Clearly you're not going to be thinking straight with me around."

"Would you stop? Just— Just stop and be serious for a moment."

He didn't like being serious. Serious got him into his head and destroying him inside out with the mistakes he'd made.

"Serious?" Jeongguk leaned back on his arms. "I would be if you stopped being so obviously attracted."

Right, just play it off like Taehyung's an idiot and not you.

He knew what Taehyung was struggling to say. He could tell Taehyung had figured it out. Why else would he be so torn to say something to the biker when they'd been blunt with one another since they'd met.

"Fuck it. I don't know what I was thinking." Taehyung was giving up.

Jeongguk inhaled sharply at the image flashing through his head. Walking away from facing what was in front of him. He'd made that mistake. Taehyung couldn't make it, too.

He grabbed Taehyung's wrist.

"Let go of me."

"You don't have a smoothie to throw this time."

"I have a fucking punch I can throw instead."

Don't start anything physical, Jeongguk.

"Okay, damn, I'll cut the crap." Jeongguk muttered, fingers loosening. "What do you want?"

Taehyung ripped his hand away and sat down again.

"Thanks."

"Thanks?" Jeongguk couldn't help but laugh at how lame the surfer sounded. "Jeez, here I am, trying really hard not to say some teasing remark, but you're making that hard, Taehyung."

Taehyung didn't care for his joking response. "I know you saved my life."

There it was. Finally.

Jeongguk let out a low whistle. "Wow, took you long enough. I thought my hints were loud as hell, but you took your sweet time figuring it out."

"Is this actually you trying to be serious?"

"I don't do serious very well, baby."

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Feisty."

"Jeongguk." Taehyung's voice was pleading and that seemed to shut the biker up. "For fuck's same, just stop with the playful shit. I'm not in the mood. You saved my life."

But Taehyung didn't even know half of the whole story. Taehyung must've thought it was some selfless heroic to go save a drowning man, but it wasn't exactly like that.

Jeongguk had been overtaken by pain at that shore, as he stood on the sand and let the rain hit his skin and pour like ice water water into his chest.

His mind drowned him like the water had to Taehyung that day.

And when he saw the surfer out in the water, catch a wave and then get thrown under by the crush of the tide— all he saw was Hwan, falling and falling as Taehyung sunk deeper into the water.

He'd moved without thinking twice, without thinking at all, really. He was swimming with newfound adrenaline and saw Taehyung's board surface with the ankle strap floating, unattached to its rider.

So he dove down to catch the guy sinking, falling in slow motion so Jeongguk could catch him that time. Save him that time.

Squeezed the water out of his lungs so he didn't stop breathing and dragged them and his board back to the shore, nearly crying out when Taehyung's heart was still beating.

He had the guy safe in his arms, not a ghost's blood on his hands. He hadn't failed that second time.

"...I hate you." Taehyung sounded as bitter as his words were.

He didn't respond to that.

But Jeongguk knew what he wanted and it was to not be on such terrible terms with someone who he also owed something to. He'd been able to redeem himself just enough by saving someone in that pouring rain.

He didn't want to be on such bad terms with Taehyung when he felt connected to the surfer in ways Taehyung didn't understand.

"Saltine."

"What do you want?"

So, he did something about it.

"Let's start over."

"What? Why? I'm very happy hating you, thank you very much."

"Oh, I can see that." Jeongguk snorted, feeling a bit tired in his lagging head. "And just 'cause. I have a feeling that we are going to be invading each other's thinking space a lot at this rate and there's no point ruining it."

"This was my spot first."

"And I like taking what I want."

"Fucking self conceited asshole." Taehyung was staring at him again. Not even at his face, but below that.

"You sure do stare at me a lot for being one of my haters."

"Shut up." Taehyung snapped. Jeongguk shifted closer to him again, pushing. "What?"

"Start over? Maybe you'll enjoy my teasing then." Jeongguk's smile was wide but even he didn't think it felt genuine. He was almost a little desperate to start over and that rattled him.

"You're just gonna fuck me over. Just trash me and expose everything if I say yes."

"I could have done that a while ago if I wanted to. I don't like your uptight attitude, but I don't care for hurting people." Jeongguk watched the push and pull of each tide. "While you think about that, tell me this— what gave it away?"

"Your back."

His back?

"My back— oh, the tattoo, you mean." Jeongguk crossed his legs and leaned forward, because the ink of his back tingled with the words. He quickly hid the shock of coincidence to Taehyung's source of truth. "That's why? Explains why you didn't figure out sooner."

"What does that mean?"

"You've been ignoring all my hints because you'd only believe it when you saw my tattoo." The biker shrugged. "I get it. The denial."

"You don't get me."

"I get that you are absolutely lost now." Taehyung looked stunned and Jeongguk almost grimaced. He knew that expression and didn't like it. "I'm not stupid, Saltine. Your fear is cutting in pretty deep."

"Why do you care?"

I care for so many reasons you don't know.

"Like I said before, I don't. But that doesn't mean I can't take some advantage of it."

"Of course. Well, Jeongguk, let's start over."

"Really?"

"Really."

Jeongguk played all his cards. He knew Taehyung that he wasn't planning on getting help from his friends out of selflessness. And he planted the thought of the biker helping into Taehyung's brain.

"Would you?" Taehyung asked, voice so quiet, but Jeongguk didn't miss it.

"Why not?"

"Why, though? I'm just so confused why you're agreeing to help."

Because I know how to help you and need to since I couldn't help someone I cared a lot about.

"You want to hear me say no?"

"I didn't say that. I do need help, but it's a bit odd for a biker to agree so easily."

Jeongguk knew that. He had to play it off. "M'not kidding. And it'll be fun. Some good ass quality time with my favorite Saltine."

"I hate you."

It didn't sound as genuine and Jeongguk could side with that.

"Ah, that's quite mutual, goody two shoes."

"I'm not telling anyone about this."

Jeongguk had never even considered spilling a single syllable about their arrangement to anyone.

"Good. Me neither." He grinned as their conversation continued.

They were so different on the outsides. The way they expressed themselves and spoke. Their lives were so different.

But Jeongguk thought that the pain they dealt with was similar. It made them alike in ways he couldn't verbally express and he kind of liked that. That alikeness helped to fizzle out the uncomfortable energy in them and Taehyung wasn't questioning it, so Jeongguk wouldn't either. 

"You thought enough about it?" He asked.

He wondered if Taehyung had other intentions to acquainting with the biker.

"Yeah. Let's do it, douchebag." Taehyung held out a hand. Jeongguk's thoughts rampaged in his head again. "Hi, I'm Kim Taehyung."

"Sheesh, you wanna take this shit all the way back?"

"This isn't even how we met." The small smile on Taehyung's lips was refreshing and Jeongguk couldn't help but want to see it again. A simple smile, no hidden intentions, just light humor.

But his eyes shot down to the surfer's outstretched hand and his head spun for a second or two. A bad spin, the strike of a ghostly touch making his heart ache.

Jeongguk broke out of his thoughts and grinned, pretending to be annoying by rejecting the handshake.

"Jeon Jeongguk, at your service." He hummed and scrunched his nose upon realizing Taehyung's full name. "And Kim? You're related to Seokjin?"

"Brothers."

"That's awful, I'm so sorry."

"Oh, shut your mouth."

Taehyung's friendly chuckle relaxing into a smile made his night. Maybe they hated each other, but he had missed the friendliness of quiet smiles and relaxed conversations.

Jeongguk thought he'd like their encounters more than he originally believed.

~•४•~

Taehyung was falling apart.

Jeongguk could hear him crying and fumbling over his words like what he wanted to say was too fast for what the muscles of his mouth could handle.

Taehyung was breathing too much, Jeongguk realized.

His whole body was trembling as they stood in the shallow water, his hands on Taehyung's arms calm while the older could hardly hold himself up.

It was like fear had taken over his brain and immobilized him of any control. There was nothing but painful chaos ripping Taehyung apart from the outside.

Jeongguk had seen such a state overcome someone before. And he knew what had helped them. He had to try with Taehyung.

"J-Jeongguk," Taehyung cried his name and Jeongguk let go of his arms to grab his shoulders instead. Taehyung was grabbing his forearms with a deadly grip, like it was the only thing in the world holding him steady.

Jeongguk could physically see the pain that entailed when Taehyung tried to expand his lungs, so sharp and abrupt, unsteady.

"Look at me." He said, and Taehyung's blurred vision was clearly trying to find him.

"Listen to my voice." Jeongguk said instead, watching Taehyung close his eyes and gulp miserably.

A tide crawled up and hit their legs again, throwing Taehyung off his second of balance, but Jeongguk wouldn't have it.

"You brat. Listen to me."

"I-I'm trying— you sound so far— I can't—"

Hwan's tactic.

"Three things." He said and Taehyung stepped closer to him like his warmth was light in the dark. "Name three things you can feel."

Taehyung named two after some struggle.

"One more." Jeongguk licked his lips and stayed focused, trying not to get lost in his scarring memories. "Come on, you can do it, one more."

"L-Leather." Taehyung crumpled forward, and Jeongguk kept him upright, maintaining an arms length of distance. More for the biker himself. "Your sleeves."

"Hmm, good." Jeongguk let his touch on those shoulders soften, eyes burning because he remembered how Hwan had grabbed his hand for the first time that day in the bathroom. "Now, listen. What can you hear?"

"M-My heart—"

"Outside. Not inside. What can you hear around you?"

"I-I can't, I can't hear anything—"

"Yes, you can." Jeongguk persisted. "Saltine, my voice. You can hear my voice. That's one."

"Your voice." A step forward to be shoved backwards five steps, Jeongguk realized with another tide interrupting Taehyung's will. "Fuck, fuck, fuck— no, I can't—"

Jeongguk pressed his hands into Taehyung's skin to remind him to push back. Push back or he would fall.

"The water!" Taehyung was crying and it made Jeongguk's heart sink. He didn't like seeing the older cry. Not in such pain. "I can hear the water. A-And... there's nothing else."

Give him something, Jeongguk.

He closed to space between them, discarding his own rule to place his head next to Taehyung's and breathe by his ear.

Taehyung let out a helpless sound, sounding grateful for the warmth it provided and Jeongguk stepped closer.

He'd never stood so close to the surfer.

Had it been anyone else as good looking as Taehyung, he would probably have gotten them under him in hours. But this was different.

It was so very different.

His body tingled standing so close to Taehyung, so close to someone who appreciated his warmth for more than just the surface level. For something much deeper and important than touch itself.

"Can you hear my breaths?"

Taehyung's hands moved to rest on his shoulders and Jeongguk had to control his breathing for a moment.

"Words. Use words. Will yourself to breathe slower and match my pace."

Instructions that played out for himself, too, Jeongguk realized as Taehyung buried his face into his shoulder and naturally pulled them closer.

He could hear Taehyung's breathing, could feel Taehyung shudder as something sent a shiver down his spine. His lips grazed Taehyung's ear. The first time his lips had grazed Taehyung's skin. "Can you hear it?"

Neither one of them moved away. He wondered if Taehyung's subconscious was screaming at him like Jeongguk's was.

He didn't want to touch Taehyung in that way. Not while he was trying to climb out of his black hole of fear. Not when Taehyung needed a hug and a quiet warmth like Hwan had.

"Y-Yeah." Taehyung's deep voice rasped, and it was the most normal he'd sounded since they hit the water.

"Look at me, Taehyung."

Jeongguk needed to distract himself from how much of Taehyung was just an inch from touching him. He reached for the surfer's chin and pushed it up, Taehyung's face stained with tears and wetting his fingertips.

Taehyung looked around his face. Jeongguk saw how his eyes focused more and more as Taehyung trailed a light gaze to his lips and jaw, up to his hair and then his eyes.

Their eyes met and Jeongguk stared back.

Taehyung was looking into his eyes so deeply, like there was something drowning inside that he needed to swim deep into and save.

Jeongguk didn't blink. He held his breath for a long while as he stared at Taehyung's different eyes, both so similar in structure and different on the outside.

Just like them.

"Breathe." Jeongguk mumbled and that time it really wasn't just for Taehyung.

Taehyung took a deep breath. His body fought against it, but Jeongguk helped him stand steady until he could let the full expansion of his lungs push back out.

His eyelids strained like it hurt to force the air out so slow, but Jeongguk kept staring into those different eyes as Taehyung forced himself to work for it.

And it grew quieter and quieter as Taehyung kept breathing slow like that. Not once did either of them look away.

Until it was so quiet that Taehyung's throat constricted and a sob left his mouth. It wasn't like before. Jeongguk could tell this was a different pain than the spiraling one that had hit him before.

He tried to step away because Taehyung needed space, but the surfer grabbed his wrist, keeping him at arms reach.

Jeongguk's heart lurched into his throat.

He'd been held back like that before. When he'd seen Hwan recover from a panic attack so bad in the bathroom. Hwan had held him back from leaving, too, so Jeongguk tried to stay put when Taehyung held him close.

He couldn't beat it any longer and shook his wrist out of Taehyung's hold when the cries subsided and Taehyung's body had calmed. Tears no longer ran down his face and each tide didn't sent him running for the shore.

He'd done it.

"How does it feel?"

"It feels okay." Taehyung whispered and his voice sounded raw and aching to the younger. Jeongguk followed him when Taehyung stepped back until his feet hit dry sand. "Not as nice as it used to, but I'm not screaming."

Jeongguk nodded, giving him that and leaving some space between them as that spell broke.

It wasn't awkward. It was just this field of unknown. How different Taehyung's proximity and touch had felt, when he'd grabbed Jeongguk's wrist, the biker couldn't believe how different everything Taehyung did felt.

Maybe because none of it was for something shallow like his other interactions. This was for Taehyung's life. They were connected much more deeply than Jeongguk's usual charm and handsy nature.

He almost moved forward in concern when Taehyung's exhausted figure crumbled onto the sand as he laid down on the dry surface, eyes cast up to the sky.

"Did I do okay?" Jeongguk muttered, falling to the ground, too, and trying to get out of the twisted thoughts in his head. "Think I can get a fear instructor award?"

"Hell no." Taehyung's words made it seem like they were switching back into whatever normal connection they had. "You just shoved me into the water without warning."

Maybe they were going to pretend that they connection was shallow like everyone else's.

"Well, I didn't leave you alone after that." Jeongguk rolled his eyes, smile growing. "I thought I was going to get scolded for calling you a brat."

"Oh yeah, that too." Taehyung's hand shoved at his knee and Jeongguk let it swing limply. "Now that I know what's going to happen, next time I say stop— actually stop. We are doing this at my pace."

"Boring." Jeongguk snickered, and part of him hated how effortlessly he felt himself revert into his typical attitude. Part of of hated it because it had been ages since he'd seen such real emotions, held such a strong gaze that looked at him deeper and tried to make him something more than a biker.

It hadn't happened in forever.

"Hey! You're not the one who feels like they're dying all over again."

His thoughts slammed on the brakes, breath inhaled sharply.

"It feels like dying?" Jeongguk's voice didn't sound like his own.

He realized that there was no pretending that they were mere acquaintances forced into one another's proximity. Not when they saw into one another just by holding the other's gaze. Staring deeper and searching.

That's the secret intention Taehyung must have had. To find out who he was.

Jeongguk wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

—

CHAPTER 13- the bar.

Jeongguk was already on edge having seen how Yoongi was tipping all day. As they drove to the city, headed for a lowkey bar a bit off the main road, he was building up his appearance to hide the effect the coming events was going to have.

Namjoon and Yoongi were laughing when they slowed to a stop in front of the bar entrance, where some street parking was available for their bikes. Jeongguk killed his engine and hooked his leg over the bike to get off.

He was taking his helmet off before the other two, one step ahead of Yoongi and Namjoon as they took time to settle into the environment of the space.

Jeongguk ran a hand through his flattened hair, feeling that it was slightly damp from his anxiousness. His eyes left Yoongi and Namjoon when they followed suit and looked around while putting his helmet away.

Jeongguk froze.

Taehyung was there. Hoseok was, too.

He made eye contact with the artist and his smile faltered, glancing at Yoongi and then back at Taehyung.

Shit.

Of all people he'd want to see there, Taehyung was the absolute last on the list.

Yoongi and Namjoon noticed Jeongguk's eyes on them and the mint haired biker was laughing in surprise. "Well, well, would you look at that. Sunshine, that you?"

Jeongguk just watched as Taehyung looked at Hoseok, who didn't waver at Yoongi's snarky greeting.

"What do you want, Min?" Hoseok showed off disinterest and Jeongguk cursed in his head. Because then Yoongi was walking up to them, Namjoon and him close behind.

Jeongguk could feel Namjoon paying attention to him, so he played with his gaze when Taehyung looked over at him again, clearly confused.

He wasn't sure how well he didn't the concern.

"You surfers are here, too?" Yoongi was beaming and Jeongguk felt sick in his gut. Yoongi always had that crazy smile right before he did something stupid and messy. "You can stick around for the show."

"What show?" Taehyung's eyes widened and Jeongguk almost grimaced. "What are you guys planning?"

"Wait and see." Yoongi jerked forward and Hoseok flinched ever so slightly, a mistake as Yoongi's ego lit up with the smallest of reactions.

Taehyung was looking at him again but Jeongguk didn't return it.

"Pathetic." Yoongi scoffed, reaching his hand to streak a touch along Hoseok's chest. Jeongguk gave Hoseok credit for not wavering and simply glaring down at Yoongi like he was an annoying child.

Yoongi shoved past the surfers, heading for the bar entrance, disappearing inside and he and Namjoon slipped into the gap between Hoseok and Taehyung to get by.

Jeongguk was hoping Taehyung's presence at the bar meant he was leaving and not just showing up. He really did not want the older there if things took a turn for the worse— which were likely going to.

Namjoon went in and Jeongguk hovered by the door, gazing back at Taehyung and meeting his eyes.

Namjoon called his name, so he just shook his head and went in.

The low lighting and music loud enough to drown out any soft spoken words, chatter still evident in his ears, was too perfect of a chance for Yoongi.

The eldest biker had already disappeared somewhere and Jeongguk couldn't find him in a quick scan of the bar.

"You see him?" Namjoon asked, siding close enough where their shoulders touched. He had a calm expression on his face, that typical grin present and chilling.

Jeongguk raised his brow and hid the chill making the hair on the back of his neck stand. "Nah, probably already on his manhunt."

Namjoon chuckled and wrapped an arm around Jeongguk's shoulder, tapping his chest and then pointing.

Jeongguk followed his gaze and his face fell.

"Look who it is," the pink haired man jerked his chin. "Let's go have some fun?"

Jeongguk shrugged with a quick grin, hiding in his head as he was tugged along towards the bar counter and four surfers crowded around there.

He hung back for a moment as Namjoon went ahead, reaching a hand up when Jin took a receipt from the bartender and signed it.

The hand landed on Jin's shoulder, Namjoon leaning close to his ear and saying something. Jin went rigid at the touch and barely glanced at Namjoon.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Jimin fumbled out in shock. Jeongguk could tell Jimin was the most wasted. "Following us?"

Jeongguk found a spot behind Taehyung and rose his voice. "Maybe it's just fate's wish for us to constantly cross paths."

Taehyung turned at his words, facing away from everyone and staring at the biker. Jeongguk hesitated to say more in the faulty confidence, deciding against it when he was quiet for a second too long.

"What ever made you think fate would do that?" Jin pushed Namjoon away and got up from his seat. "Where's your short mint?"

"Probably finding someone to piss him off." Namjoon ruffled his hair and ordered a drink, sounding bored and Jeongguk gulped openly with the older biker's attention diverted.

"He wants to be pissed off?" Taehyung was still looking at him and Jeongguk stared back.

Namjoon was watching him.

Taehyung and the other surfers needed to get out of there.

He stepped up close to Taehyung with narrowed eyes, glancing at Namjoon and then meeting Taehyung's gaze again. Jeongguk's hair fell in front of his eyes and he smirked a little as Taehyung looked daze for a moment.

"Someone pisses him off? He'll have a valid excuse to throw a sick punch." Jeongguk hummed in his face, grinning, but he was just hoping Taehyung understood him. Understood the danger that was coming.

He hoped Taehyung understood that he didn't actually want this. That his hands were tied and Taehyung needed to get out of there so he didn't get hurt.

"Stop it. Don't just let him hurt someone." Taehyung whispered just for his ears and it surprised Jeongguk, though he kept the facade going.

Jeongguk shook his head. Last chance, Kim. "Don't wanna see it go down? Then, get out of here."

Taehyung's eyes widened in understanding. Jeongguk's grin was genuine that time as the smallest of nods was visible in the older's chin dipping and Taehyung played the pissed card.

"We will. Fuck you and your stupid leather." He turned to the other surfers. "Let's go."

"They think they can do whatever the hell they want. Push people around." Hoseok didn't seem to catch onto their little exchange as he supported Jimin's figure and pulled him away from the counter.

Relief filled him. At least they were leaving and getting out before putting themselves in harm's way. Taehyung looked at him once more and smiled for a second, making him feel a bit warmer inside, relaxing his nerves and making him think that it would all be okay.

"Pity." Namjoon downed the contents of his shot glass and raised a brow. "Not one for entertainment?"

"Not one for your dangerous method for venting." Jeongguk saw Jin shoot the words back at the pink haired man and grab the second shot glass sitting on the counter for Namjoon.

He saw the amused surprise on Namjoon's face as Jin tipped his head back and drank, cringing a little at the bitter taste before shoving the empty glass against Namjoon's chest.

Jin said something to Namjoon before turning and leaving, the grin on his friend's face immediate.

Namjoon whistled lowly as the two bikers watched the surfers head out of the bar. "That was exciting."

"Not as exciting as what's going to come." He muttered, feeling his chest ache again when he heard the argument pick up in some far off corner. Yoongi's voice was distinct.

But the door of the bar closed and the surfers were gone, taking away more than half of Jeongguk's worries with them.

—

CHAPTER 15/16- the cliff + first kiss.

Jeongguk felt the steady rhythm of three taps against his chest. Taehyung's hand. Taehyung's arms that were wrapped around him so firmly it made him relax into the body behind him. As if Taehyung was assuring him and not the other way around.

Then, he stiffened in recognition of the signal and immediately eased the brake bar closer to his grip, slowing the motorcycle to a standstill and he grunted as Taehyung slammed into him when the bike halted completely. He reached a hand behind him to steady the older, multitasking with the other hand keeping the steering in place.

His feet touched the ground to catch the bike as the engine rattled to an absence of the guttural roar and Jeongguk looked behind him worriedly. "Woah, you okay? Or just want to look around?"

"S-Second." Taehyung was stumbling off the bike haphazardly, but Jeongguk was glad to hear the relieving response.

Jeongguk sat on the stalled motorcycle, keeping the balls of his feet on the ground while leaning back to sit upright and watch the surfer.

Taehyung was standing by the side of the road, the dreamy sense of his thoughts clear in the way he stared and made small sounds of amazement. He wasn't bothering to take the helmet off, reaching forward to grip the roadside rail and peer below the rising road.

"Shit, Jeongguk, this is so perfect."

"Told you." He grinned. He really did know. And he hoped it prompted Taehyung to listen to his promises. "Wait till we get all the way up. It's even better."

He could see the cliffside so perfectly visible in his head, the empty clearing much larger than the roadside shoulder. Taehyung would love it. He had to take the older there.

"All the way what?" Taehyung whipped around to look at him. "How have I never realized this way led somewhere?"

Jeongguk shrugged and his eyes widened a little as Taehyung started looking at him with that same awe as he had for the landscape. Was it the helmet? Did Taehyung wish he could see Jeongguk's face?

"You okay? Did you even enjoy it?" He asked when Taehyung surprised him further by trailing back to the motorcycle.

"Yeah. I just— uh, I trust you wherever we are going, but is it some weird hidden place?"

He heard the timidness behind Taehyung's words and felt the smile quirk on his lips. The surfer managed to throw the biker off sometimes when they were far from yelling at one another.

"You scared of monsters or some shit, Saltine? Cute, but hop on. No one really knows about this place, I think. Not that I've seen."

"So it is hidden?" Taehyung verbally squeaked, as he came to stand just beside Jeongguk's seated figure. Taehyung's leg brushed his thigh. The older didn't move away. Jeongguk surely wasn't going to.

He was make them touch more instead.

He reached a hand to Taehyung's hip and settled it on the curve of his side, finding the amusement in his eyes grow when Taehyung let out a small appreciative noise slip past his lips. Jeongguk wouldn't miss that sound for anything.

"You almost died in an ocean and you're worried about someone being out there to hurt us?"

Taehyung was incredibly cute sometimes.

"It's valid—"

"You got a knight in shining armor to protect you from night monsters, Taehyung," Jeongguk teased, pulling on Taehyung's hip and causing him to stumble forward. "Get on."

Taehyung turned away, though, staring off into space and Jeongguk had to call him back to reality. "Taehyung?"

"Yeah," he shook his head clear and Jeongguk's smile was small and hidden behind his helmet. "This view is gorgeous, Jeongguk."

"Absolutely agreed." The biker leaned forward to stabilize the handle grips so Taehyung could clamber back on without a worry.

He could feel and sense that Taehyung was more comfortable with the driving on the latter half of the trip. The bends and curves made him vocally outlay his excitement and Jeongguk let that direct his adrenaline into a fun and easy ride that he was enjoying even more so.

They veered off the main road for the familiar gravel path and Jeongguk felt Taehyung's arms tighten around him, probably out of anticipation or anxiousness of this hidden location.

And then the trees cleared and the clearing came into view to expose the cliff drop. Where the sky met the land instead of the ocean below, sea level hundreds of feet below them. Jeongguk brought the motorcycle to a stop again, feeling Taehyung jerk into his backside like before and letting the older catch himself that time.

The air was hauntingly quiet, but equally serene as Jeongguk killed the engine and kicked the bike stand down. He nudged his head, motioning for Taehyung to get down and the surfer watched his movement more carefully thag time for the blazing exhaust pipes.

Jeongguk laughed to himself as Taehyung wobbled on his feet and stumbled into the grass, laying down with his arms and legs spread wide as he relaxed in the crash of his adrenaline.

It took Jeongguk months to get over that feeling. His heart didn't race like a horse after he slipped off the seat, nor did his head spin as he regained his footing. It was all second nature to him, the feeling in his everyday life and becoming a habit to adapt to.

Taehyung ripped the helmet off his head and Jeongguk watched it roll away, eyes trailing to the rising and falling chest of the surfer's as he stayed stagnant on the grass with his eyes closed.

Jeongguk unlocked his seat compartment and turned to Taehyung. "Hey, Starfish—"

Jeongguk cut himself off as he pulled his helmet over his head, shaking out his flattened hair and letting the cool air of night simmer down the heat in his face. His eyes found the surfer's staring at him with parted lips, eyes lost.

"Starfish?" Taehyung choked out.

"You look like one right now." Jeongguk snorted as he hung his helmet off the handle bar and looked back down at the surfer, grinning. "How you doing down there?"

He reached down to grab Taehyung's forearm and hoist him up to his feet. Taehyung staggered like a drunk man, latching onto Jeongguk's arms of leather to stand.

Jeongguk took his helmet after Taehyung got his senses back and traded out the safety gear for a blanket he'd put in the seat earlier.

"You brought a blanket?" Taehyung exclaimed, a smile growing on his lips. Jeongguk blinked. "And you say you're not romantic."

"This is because you're going to get cold and no one needs you getting sick." He said sourly and stuffed the key in his pocket. "Doesn't mean I can't use it, too."

Taehyung laughed and took it from him. Jeongguk didn't put up much of a fight. "Well, it's mine now, Greased Lightning. Don't bother."

Taehyung wandered ahead and Jeongguk strayed behind as he watched the surfer walk with an excited skip in his step, amazed eyes taking in everything from the grassy ground to the rocks below the cliff— to the diner looking tiny so far down on the shore, and the horizon, weirdly below them.

But as Taehyung took those things in, Jeongguk watched as his expression deeper in appreciation for the view, the surprise in his eyes that such a place existed. He liked that awed smile on Taehyung's face a lot.

He liked how good the cliffside looked with Taehyung added to the scene, standing there with the blanket draped over his arm, wavering like he was swimming in the higher elevation.

Jeongguk's amusement rose with the admiration when Taehyung calculated a good view spot and laid the blanket down. The surfer say stop it and motioned him over.

Taehyung patted the empty space on the blanket beside him. "Get your ass over here."

"So you do feel like sharing tonight." Jeongguk buried his hands into his pockets while hurrying over, falling onto the blanket and rocking into place next to Taehyung. The older nudged him and he looked at Taehyung with a raised brow. "What?"

"Why don't you just come up here instead of the shore? This is incredible."

He explained his short list, the seclusion and comfort of it all. The views were a plus. Finding an access point was lucky for Jeongguk.

Taehyung smiled, looking away at the extended shore. "I can see why you like this place. Can't believe I didn't know it existed."

"I doubt anyone does. People usually stay away from gravel roads 'cause they get scared like you." The younger leaned back on his arms, relaxing in the familiar place.

"M'not scared." He heard Taehyung voice soft and almost inaudible as his doe eyes closed and he let out a small breath. "Not with you here."

He smiled when he heard it, letting that swift nod and serious nature last a single second longer to say, "You're safe."

Then, he was opening his eyes with a grin curving on his mouth, expression brighter as he locked eyes with the surfer. "How was the ride up here, Saltine? Enjoy?"

"Pretty nice, Jeon," he chuckled, obviously trying to downplay his excitement. Jeongguk knew he was lying. He'd heard the older shriek and laugh on the way there. "Followed all your rules, so I stayed in one piece."

"You suck ass, Kim Taehyung. I know you loved it."

"And hypothetically if I did, then what?"

"I'd take you on more drives." Jeongguk felt that warmth creep into his chest. That strange, uncontrollable warmth that surprised him. It was too different, it was growing every time he looked over at the surfer and he took a second to regain himself. "I love the feeling of your big hands on me anyway."

It fixed the tone of the conversation and Jeongguk felt that creeping emotion tumble away as Taehyung rolled his eyes and shoved the biker. He laughed sarcastically and swayed with Taehyung's push.

"Thanks for bringing me here." Jeongguk frowned at Taehyung's words. "Why did you?"

"You see, Taehyung, when you said this was your escape from life, I realized we really ask for the same things of this place." Jeongguk sighed. He should have know there would be more talking going to happen between the two of them.

He recalled what Taehyung had said about him being perfectly real. It had stuck with him. He didn't know why exactly considering plenty of obnoxiously wise things left the older's mouth— Jeongguk wanted to believe that Taehyung's pretty, dazed eyes, hooded and face flushed with color and the lack of in the midst of exhaustion, was why he remembered it.

"We are both attached to this beach for more than just a vacation spot."

"—it's warmer with another person," he grinned when Taehyung brought up sharing the shore, shifting closer to the surfer to emphasize his point. He brushed Taehyung's side. "That's for sure."

"Douchebag. You're so desperate. Just go find someone else to hit on."

"Nah, I said I like a challenge," Jeongguk inched his nearer hand to kiss a touch along Taehyung's forearm. He wondered if Taehyung would pull away and stop him. The surfer didn't. Jeongguk licked his lips in both a serious and mocking manner. "I feel like I'm getting somewhere."

"In your dreams." He forced Taehyung's words to come out unconvincingly by moving his hand up to rest at the top of Taehyung's spine, fingers tickling the drying hair at the nape of his neck.

Taehyung didn't push him away. Taehyung liked when he touched him. At least these small, subtle grazed of skin.

"Tell me the truth about the drive." Jeongguk pried, dragging the truth out of Taehyung when he noticed the slight tip forward so his fingers could continue to stroke along the ends of Taehyung's hair. "How did it feel?"

"Amazing." The response spurred out in an instant and Jeongguk grinned. "You said you can feel the wind all over, how you're just cutting through it like a blade... it felt like flying when we would curve around the turns— really just fucking perfect with the view, too."

"There we go." He chuckled, retracting hand and noticing Taehyung's eyes dart to the limb like it'd left too quickly. How unlike Taehyung... "I knew it was more than pretty nice."

But Taehyung was frowning.

And he wasn't letting Jeongguk into his thoughts which was incredibly out of line considering Jeongguk was speaking more openly to him. He deserved something from the surfer.

"Hey, that's unfair." He glared at the giggling older as Taehyung shifted down to lay back on the blanket, the dramatic sigh leaving his lips.

"Aww, sorry, Greased Lightning, did I hurt your feelings?" He pouted and Jeongguk grumbled under his breath, catching the surfer's tired gaze up at the sparkling night sky.

"Don't tell me you're going to fall asleep." Jeongguk groaned, not actually caring, but lurching a foot out to kick at Taehyung's leg all the same. The older just laughed again, reaching a hand up to trace patterns along the stars.

Jeongguk felt like he hadn't gotten nearly enough attention from Taehyung. It was a childish thing to think, but he'd just become an adult months ago, so he thought it was okay.

Sure, the cliff was the main attraction, but Jeongguk had brought him there.

"Not yet, I don't want to miss out on this."

"I'll leave you here if you sleep." He threatened. He would never leave Taehyung out there.

"You can gladly leave me here, Jeon," Taehyung smiled, head turning to look at him and Jeongguk felt that overwhelming warmth pull him into Taehyung's eyes again. "Just know my hyungs would be hunting you down when I tell them you dropped me off here all alone."

He wanted Taehyung to eat his words. And so he thought of the next best thing that would be a harmless punishment and grinned, that flint rising to the surface of his eyes as he leaned over Taehyung and let his fingers wander to the surfer's sides.

Taehyung shrieked when Jeongguk's fingers twiddled along his skin, shoving him away and Jeongguk felt that warmth spread further in satisfaction. He reached his hands forward to grab the surfer, but Taehyung was standing and stumbling away to escape.

Jeongguk snorted and rose to his feet, wiggling his devious fingers at Taehyung when he backed away from the blanket with a warning tone in his voice.

"Don't you dare, Jeongguk. I will cut off your fingers."

Taehyung was funny if he thought he'd even get the chance. Jeongguk would kiss him blind before ever letting that happen. Then, the older would hate him for life.

"Like hell you will," Jeongguk took slow steps towards him. "Think you can outrun me, Kim?"

"Oh my fucking god, don't make me run," the surfer kept backing away, steps frantic as Jeongguk's stealthy steps mimicked a control that would allow him to easily win. "Jeongguk, I'm serious— I'll run back home if I have to— you fucking bitch—"

"Come here, Saltine," he drawled, voice singing without giving a damn about Taehyung's threats. He thought Taehyung sounded cute spewing such vicious comments at him. Did that make him crazy? Probably.

Jeongguk jumped forward and burst into a sprint, making Taehyung scream and turn to bolt away just as quickly.

"Jeongguk, I fucking hate you!"

He laughed, air rushing out of him as he cut through the clearing to chase down the surfer, gaining distance on him rather quickly. He saw the panic on Taehyung's face shift into something more fun, too, and it made him run faster.

Taehyung gazed over his shoulder just as Jeongguk got close to enough to reach his arms around Taehyung's face and spun him out of his momentum, catching him so easily like the surfer's chances was doomed from the start.

The momentum sent them flying around in a circular motion, Jeongguk holding Taehyung close and neither one of them were breathing steadily, wheezing for air between their laughs in a pitiful manner.

Jeongguk stumbled over his feet when gravity dragged them down and he cursed internally as he pulled Taehyung on top of him and took the fall on the grass. Groaning in the midst of his laughter, he couldn't even open his eyes or see clearly for a few seconds.

Taehyung's face was buried in his neck, their chest clanging against one another like swinging keys on the chain, shifting back and forced uncontrollably. Their bodies shook together, emotions mirrored, and Jeongguk hugged him close, liking how warm Taehyung was against him, feeling the vibration of his laugh before he heard it.

He sunk in the ocean of joy in his head, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long while as Taehyung pulled away from his grasp. He let the older move as he regained himself, laugh trickling into a narrower stream until it dripped dry.

He opened his eyes and his heart fell in his chest, brows furrowing in confusion. Taehyung was crying.

Taehyung was crying? Did he get hurt? Jeongguk worriedly reached his hands up to hold his face, searching for any cut or immediate injury, frowning when he noticed the smile on Taehyung's face linger.

"You're crying." Jeongguk swept away the drops staining his flushed cheeks. "Why are you crying? And smiling? You're being confusing."

"Shut up." Taehyung let his head fall onto Jeongguk's chest again, cheek resting against his shoulder and Jeongguk thought he stopped breathing for a second. "Don't tickle me."

At first it scared him again. That urge to just hold Taehyung. The way Taehyung was touching him. So gentle and like Jeongguk was some safe haven.

Jeongguk liked being a safe haven for Taehyung. He already knew that. But he wasn't used to Taehyung initiating it. Not unless they were in the water to train his fear.

Yet, the biker wasn't going to shove the older off. He didn't want to hurt Taehyung, either.

"No promises, but why're you crying, Taehyung?"

"It's nothing."

Taehyung's voice was softer, lighter. One that stemmed from tire. Jeongguk thought it was okay to let his walls down for a while. To make sure Taehyung didn't cry. Or somehow hurt himself. He could imagine the surfer tripping and scraping his knee. Jeongguk wouldn't let him hear the end of that.

"That's not helpful, dumbass." He shook his head, hand trailing up and down Taehyung's back in a sweeping motion. He could feel the ridges of the older's spine, bumpy along his fingers. "Can't believe you're making me chase after you now."

When Taehyung nudged off of him, laying down in the head beside him, Jeongguk missed the warmth almost immediately. The warm, steady, living weight on him was a feeling of comfort he hadn't received from anyone in his life for a long, long time.

Taehyung groaned, rubbing his chest like it ached and Jeongguk chuckled while looking over at him. The surfer looked exhausted and done for the night.

A breeze swing past the cliff and Jeongguk felt Taehyung curl into his side, wincing at the chill.

"Cold? I can go grab the blanket—"

"No," Taehyung whispered, and he shifted close enough where his head was on his shoulder again. Jeongguk couldn't help but smile with Taehyung's attention diverted. "Don't go, you're warm enough."

He lowered his voice, worried he'd jar the quietness of Taehyung's head into a mess. "You sound tired, Saltine. What did I say about sleeping?"

He was turning to his side anyway, putting an arm under Taehyung's head to give him a cushion and then wrapping the other around Taehyung's torso, tugging him closer so they shared that warmth.

"Not to." Taehyung snuggled into him. "Thank you."

Jeongguk stared at the blades of grass near his face. One was nearly about to stab his eye out. But he pulled Taehyung close and pretended the grass didn't exist.

He'd only ever seen this happen in movies, in those stupid cheesy rom cons that made him want to throw up and thank the world for porn. It just didn't make sense to him. No one in Jeongguk's life had been primarily kind or gentle. It was practical and realistic, protective and brotherly.

But Taehyung wasn't like that. He was kind and gentle. He talked to Jeongguk like a person with a heart, not some cold blooded lizard who terrified the world.

He thought that making an exception with tearing down his walls once was fine. Good, in fact. Especially if it was Taehyung. Because part of him thought that it was temporary. After the summer, he wasn't sure if he'd ever see the surfer again.

His chest hurt when the thought came to mind.

He knew Taehyung was something else to him the moment he'd dragged his body out of that storm. Jeongguk knew he couldn't just ignore the kind of attachment he had to the guy he saved.

He was thinking too much. He just needed to see it as a warm hug, someone to hold close. Just for a little while before the night ended and he was shot back into reality.

"How am I going to get you home?" Jeongguk teased Taehyung.

"Wake me up in a bit."

Jeongguk shook his head with a smile, shifting a little. He didn't realize how nice it was to just hold someone. To feel the solid chest against his. He could feel Taehyung's throat vibrate against his shoulder when he spoke.

That feeling was so nice. To just be so close and have nothing sensual about it cross his mind.

"Hey, Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk hummed. He loved how his name sounded on Taehyung's lips.

"I got an idea for my painting project."

He held Taehyung tighter. Worried for a second that he would let go to try and look at him as they talked. When Taehyung didn't pull away, he replied. "That's good. Will you start working on it now?"

He didn't have a single clue as to how painting worked. Or what Taehyung was planning to do with that idea. Or anything about how to process how thinking about Taehyung felt.

Jeongguk felt more out of it than the surfer.

"Already started." Taehyung was making an amused sound in the back of his throat and Jeongguk felt the heat pool in his face. Had he said something stupid?

"Really?" Jeongguk turned to lay flat on his back, hold on Taehyung unwavering so the older ending up half on top of him. Jeongguk liked how it felt. "Nice. You'll get it done in no time and then your parents can fix their shit."

Taehyung was breathing against his bare neck and Jeongguk felt the goosebumps shoot across the skin.

"Hopefully. I'll show you when I'm done. You'll be there to look at the final product, won't you?"

Jeongguk blinked at the question. He didn't exactly register it. He'd been too focused on how Taehyung's mumbling died off. How the older rose with every one of his breaths, like Jeongguk was the cause of his breaths, too.

In a way he was.

He saw Taehyung's eyes slowly sink shut as his fingers brushed back the hair in Taehyung's face, moving it out of the way and tucking it behind the older's ear.

Just because he could. And because it was for a little bit. He could let himself just feel for a little bit.

"Night, sleepyhead." Jeongguk's voice was hardly a whisper as his neck strained so he could watch Taehyung's face relax in the bridge between the real and dream worlds.

Taehyung mouthed a soundless 'night, Jeongguk,' and he smiled down at the surfer. Taehyung would always want to have the last word.

And one think had lingered in the back of his mind. The whole night was a romantic's dream, he realized— and he'd enjoyed. Part of him despised that, but the other part wondered if Taehyung had enjoyed as much as he expressed, too.

Jeongguk knew what would seal the deal for the older and didn't even hesitate.

"Beautiful," the biker whispered, pressing his lips to the top of Taehyung's head.

~•४•~

"Now, this is a view." Jeongguk grinned up at Taehyung when the surfer peered over his flat body on the sand.

"What was so funny?" Taehyung pointed at his phone, sitting down beside Jeongguk.

"Social media is shit," he half explained, chuckling, as he braced a hand on Taehyung's knee to sit up. "But there's a few occasional times when people are beyond funny— those select few save the entire app."

"Agreed." Taehyung wasn't really looking at him. It felt forced. Jeongguk frowned.

"How's the painting coming along?"

"That's random." Taehyung's shoulders scrunched up like was he was going to shrug and then never did.

"Well, you didn't work today. I didn't see you in the diner so I figured that you were painting."

"As observant as always," Taehyung smiled and the red 'incorrect' buzzer went off in Jeongguk's head. "Got it sketched out on the first three canvas. Planning on doing the first layer of paint tomorrow, but that's basically important busy work."

He hadn't been observant by choice. Jeongguk had been drilling himself down for the stupidity of the night before all throughout the day.

Especially for kissing Taehyung's head. And calling him the cheesy fucking word that as beautiful. Jeongguk didn't say those things. Most certainly didn't do them either.

He would never show it, but part of him had been anxious that Taehyung knew. That his cover would be blown and Jeongguk just wanted something normal between them to happen because the night before had absolutely killed normal in his brain.

"Still sounds dumb as always, Saltine."

"You just won't appreciate it until I'm done."

Taehyung told him that he'd painted a bird from his tattoo. Jeongguk didn't know how to feel about that.

"Think I'll be around long enough to see the final result?"

"I hope so. I'll finish it on this trip."

That was soon.

"In a week and a half?" Jeongguk retracted in surprise. "Are you speed painting or something?"

"No." Taehyung looked away and Jeongguk was confused. "I managed to get our leave pushed back by a few weeks. So I've got like three weeks."

Oh.

"Oh."

They had a lot more time together than Jeongguk had anticipated.

An entire two weeks more on the original plan of departure and Jeongguk grimaced as his other insecurities caught up to him.  

"That's the only reason you wanted to push it back?" The younger asked. He wondered if Taehyung would ever say it. Not likely.

"I'm hoping to surf with my hyungs before we leave. Three weeks should be enough time to get back on my board."

"Mhm." Of course, Kim Taehyung was being an ass.

"What's up, Greased Lightning?" The victorious smile was obvious even though the surfer caught it between his teeth. "You don't seem to like that answer."

"I don't— I don't not like it." Jeongguk huffed. "You want to surf again, that's great. 'Was hoping something else would be included in the reasoning, though."

"Surfing, painting... oh! More mango smoothies." Taehyung raised three fingers, humming in pretend confusion. "Think that covers it."

"Taehyung." Jeongguk wanted to smother him into dust. Who was he to say shit, though, when Jeongguk couldn't say it himself?

"You sound disappointed, Jeon." The surfer giggled. "Care to tell me why?"

"Never mind."

Yeah, Jeongguk wasn't any better.

"Suit yourself." Taehyung shrugged, the smile audible. "Hey, I never got to ask yesterday. How'd you find the cliff clearing? It's not a place you just stumble upon by accident."

"Sometimes driving without direction gets you to the best places." Jeongguk replied, grimacing internally as he remembered that fateful day a year and a half ago. "Just impulsively getting out of your comfort zone and being a little adventurous."

Like last night, where you got too comfortable, you dumb shit.

Jeongguk didn't know how to think about his relationship with Taehyung anymore. Every time he went to touch the older, Taehyung was inhaling sharply, like he was on edge. Jeongguk himself was trying to keep his touching at that aggravating, teasing level so he didn't blow his goddamn cover.

But being impulsive and forgetting about who Taehyung was, who he was, had them curled up in each other's arms the night before.

When he glanced at Taehyung, he saw that his words had caused a spiral of thinking to dawn on the surfer, too.

And for once, Jeongguk couldn't tell what Taehyung was thinking.

He wanted to hear those thoughts. He wanted Taehyung to just... give him some sign that he could pretend the cliff visit didn't happen.

Because every time he looked at Taehyung, he imagined that sweet smile, body laying atop of his, arms holding him close— every time he looked at the older, he just wanting to have him close like that again and it was fucking crazy. Maybe normal for Taehyung to be bundled up in someone's arms. But for Jeongguk? Hell, no.

Stop focusing on that or it'll be obviously plastered on your face.

He looked at the surfer again, catching his breathless breathing, shallow and not panicking, but overwhelmed. He understood some of Taehyung's thinking then.

"You're not used to stepping out of your comfort zone, are you?" Jeongguk asked.

"No. But... I should. I should take a risk."

Jeongguk knew plenty about risks. It was a good way of stepping out of that comfort stage. "You're taking risks already. Overcoming a fear is a huge risk you're taking chances with."

Taehyung shook his head, skull tipping back in frustration and Jeongguk's brow shot up. Had he got it wrong?

"Jeongguk, not— not the water, the water will always be here—" Taehyung huffed, "The water will always be here, my friends will always be here, the diner will always be here, my art— it will always be there because I can't fail. But you..."

Shit.

Jeongguk felt his body stiffen at Taehyung's words. Because they knew that maybe they had three more weeks, but it was also only three weeks. Taehyung had that subconscious knowledge that three weeks would be the end of whatever they were.

A good end, you can go back home and half all the fucks you want. You can work in the garage and screw around without a surfer putting stupid thoughts in your head—

"You won't always be there." His chest caved, hands trembling. "Hell, I need to step out of my comfort zone with you. You're the only person I can do that with."

Jeongguk had absolutely no idea what was happening. He simply blanked. He didn't know if Taehyung meant to step out of his comfort zone with Jeongguk as in he wanted to take whatever they were further— or just that Jeongguk could be a dummy for him to try out some risky moves on because he was steadily available at the moment and—

One look at Taehyung and he knew it was the second. It hurt a little. A hurt that had Jeongguk feeling betrayed by his heart. It wasn't supposed to hurt. Their whole arrangement was that Jeongguk helps him with his fear and he would get something in return.

Maybe Taehyung was just going to give him something in return.

But maybe...

"Taehyung, what's the point of this?"

He was staring at his legs. He suddenly couldn't even look at the older as he took his frustration out on a small twig in his hand, snapping it in half.

He snapped it in half just like Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts.

"Fuck it."

Jeongguk whipped his head over to look at what stupid thing Taehyung was planning to do, caught completely off guard when hands were on his face, cupping it.

He saw determination in Taehyung's eyes. Maybe Taehyung wanted to snap his neck. Finally get rid of Jeongguk. It was possible in the position of the older's hands.

"What the hell are you—"

"Shut up." Taehyung cut him off, but Jeongguk didn't know if they were even for him as Taehyung suddenly leaned forward and—

Taehyung was kissing him.

Taehyung was kissing him.

Taehyung's fucking lips were on his.

Jeongguk's hand snapped up to grab Taehyung's arm, brushing his own neck with the older so close.

He wasn't sure he could even call it a kiss. Taehyung only brushed their lips together before snapping away and burying his hands in his laps like it was all a mistake.

Jeongguk took a look deep breath, mouth tingling by only the slightest of kisses on his lips. He'd been touched so much more, so much harder and so much deeper— fuck.

Taehyung's reaction gave him his answer. Taehyung wasn't shying away from him. He was shying away from kissing him.

What did you possibly think was going to happen, Jeon? He would want you?

Taehyung just wanted to kiss someone. And Jeongguk was there.

All of his own tense thoughts slipped away and he relaxed, the denial for what had happened the night before solidifying because he could forget about it and just be his own biker self with the surfer.

Taehyung wanted to kiss. Jeongguk would give him better than that lousy peck.

He reached over Taehyung's body and wrapped his hand under the far thigh of the surfer's and pulling him over. Over him. Ignoring Taehyung's fumbling curse and dragging Taehyung over so the older was in his lap.

This was right. This was how it should be. Jeongguk had imagined this happening the moment he'd seen Taehyung walk in that diner door on the first day.

This was how it should be.

Maybe Taehyung made him want to talk more than touch, but Jeongguk still gave into the touch just as quickly. He'd been wanting to kiss Taehyung for weeks and he wasn't passing up the opportunity.

Taehyung settled into the space, hands shooting up to press into Jeongguk's shoulders and steady himself. Taehyung was struggling to breathe.

Jeongguk let one of both hands on Taehyung's thighs rise to grab his chin.

Taehyung looked up to meet his eyes and the surfer looked exhilarated.

That did things to the biker.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung was gasping out, and Jeongguk felt the harsh grip on his leather collar.

Jeongguk had every reason to just kiss anyone. But Taehyung? Not a chance. Jeongguk was too curious to let it go unasked.

"Not complaining, but why?"

He really wasn't complaining. It solved half of his own problems and gave him a whole lot of satisfaction having the surfer sitting on his lap, hands on each other, the anticipation crying his nerves.

Taehyung looked like a mess. And it was perfect.

"I just—" Jeongguk chuckled at his clueless state, rubbing Taehyung's legs to calm him enough to speak without dying inside. "Wanna try things your way."

His way.

Jeongguk's way would have had him pinned down on a bed weeks ago. Preferably the day they met. But he appreciated that Taehyung was trying to cross that bridge into his realm.

Besides, he couldn't possibly just deny the older of it. He'd give Taehyung only what the surfer wanted and Jeongguk could thrive off of it for a long time.

His hand fell in front of his eyes as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Taehyung watched him do it. The impulsive eagerness from the surfer was astonishing to Jeongguk, but he wasn't going to think twice about something he'd wanted for a while.

"Goddammit, Taehyung," Jeongguk murmured. That pathetic excuse of a kiss just moment ago wouldn't do. "If you want it done my way, I'm making sure the first is better than that."

Taehyung's knuckled pinched into his skin and Jeongguk waited for him to say something.

"Slow," that soft, pleading tone in his voice had Jeongguk done for. "Please, just slow."

He'd only do what Taehyung wanted. Just kissing. That was enough for the surfer or Jeongguk might just kill him with a heart attack.

His hand moved to hold the side of Taehyung's face as he nodded in understanding. Taehyung's eyes fluttered shut at the touch, Jeongguk leaning into Taehyung and closing the distance between them for a real kiss.

He knew Taehyung didn't have a clue what he was doing, and tried to guide the older, parting his lips and fitting them into each other's. Jeongguk chased after how good and soft Taehyung's lips were.

He tilted his head to kiss Taehyung deeper, mentally praising the older when he followed suit. Jeongguk pulled away for a second, inhaling deeply and then kissing Taehyung again.

His hand was gripping Taehyung's leg, he buried any itch to touch the surfer more than he should into his firm grip of the muscle under his palm.

Taehyung was melting into him, grasping his senses and his ruthless grip of Jeongguk's collar was slackening, fingers trailing up for his hair instead. Taehyung made a sound, small and muffled as he kissed it away and Jeongguk could feel all the adrenaline in both of them.

The fingers in his hair were digging into the strands, grasping them and Jeongguk groaned at the tingling that shot across his scalp. Taehyung was a fast learner, his body shivering slightly at the sound Jeongguk made.

Jeongguk let the hand on Taehyung's jaw run down his frontside, feeling the tremble of Taehyung's body in its wake. He moved it to the small of his back and pushed Taehyung closer into him so their chests were flush against one another.

They kept kissing, long and slow and burning Jeongguk inside out, probably killing the surfer the same way. The hands in his hair shitting down to link behind his neck, keeping his body as close as his mouth was.

Jeongguk almost laughed because Taehyung was a damn natural for never doing that before.

He could feel Taehyung's sweat accumulate, that dizzy feeling in the slight sway of too much as the older refused to be the one to end it.

Jeongguk slowed them down, lighting his touch and tugging at Taehyung's lips with his teeth to hear that strangled him one more time. He pressed smaller kisses on his mouth, pecks and just enough to bring Taehyung down from the high.

He hardly realized he was drawing circles on Taehyung's back, holding his face and leaving just whispers of his lips on the surfer's.

He didn't usually touch anyone like that.

But he didn't dwell on it.

Because Jeongguk came down from the adrenaline rush, too, and his forehead was against Taehyung's, breaths got against each other's faces and Jeongguk could hardly believe what had just happened.

He'd been wanting to kiss Taehyung since their eyes met, and it had finally happened.

He held Taehyung steady with the hands on his waist, sighing quietly as Taehyung's finger danced along his tattoo, the wing of the last bird just under his ear.

"Fuck, that was good," Jeongguk's raspy voice was light, awed in the aftermath of what they'd done. He met Taehyung's eyes and the older looked so messy and warm, face flushed and breaths ragged, shirt wrinkled and shoulder rising dramatically win every breath.  "Taehyung."

The surfer ducked his head, hitting his shoulder and slumping. Was Taehyung worried? He couldn't possibly be scared.

But then he shivered against the biker and Jeongguk wasn't so sure.

"Yeah?" Even Taehyung's voice was hot. Jeongguk wanted to hear it all low and shaky like that all the time.

"Look at me."

Taehyung pulled his head away to look at him. He was wavering and Jeongguk kept his hands firm on the older's waist.

"What?" Taehyung was forcing a glare out, but his reddening cheeks were just adding onto how much Jeongguk struggled to take in his appearance.

He raised a finger to brush over Taehyung's swollen lips, full and red and he had the urge to kiss Taehyung again. He flicked his gleaming eyes up to meet Taehyung's. The surfer was tired. Jeongguk was anything put. He was electrified to life by the touch.

But he didn't do anything more. Because Taehyung trusted him to respect his limits and Jeongguk would only do just that.

"You look so pretty like this," he said instead, chuckling, and he heard a choked up sound of disbelief in Taehyung's mouth. Jeongguk patted his thigh. "I knew it was smart waiting."

"So fucking desperate." Taehyung was finding his thoughts again, regaining his attitude after the shock of it all had put out his flame. Jeongguk loved it all the same. He liked fighting Taehyung's as much as he loved putting it out, he realized.

"I can't believe you initiated it, Saltine." Jeongguk grinned. The surfer was blushing, embarrassed.

"Look, it's just a thanks for last night. And I thought you deserved something for your annoying kiss-deprived lips. Oh, and Jimin reminded me how dry my life is without surfing, so I just needed to do something stupid and—"

Jeongguk leaned in close again, surprising the surfer, and his smile widened when Taehyung's lips snapped shut and his eyes went wide as Jeongguk was a hair away from kissing him again.

Jeez, that was pathetic, Kim.

"Your excuses are so sad," the biker muttered, pulling back without lingering that time and thriving in the blank blinking coming from Taehyung. "There had to be something in your head besides wanting to do something stupid such that you kiss me. It's not like you to go around thanking people with kisses."

"You know what's out of character?" Taehyung's jaw clenched, shoving his shoulder and Jeongguk spat out a rough laugh. "Holding me in your arms and letting me sleep in them up on the cliff. It's not like you to do that."

He knew that. He couldn't let Taehyung know that he acknowledged it, though.

"Ah," Jeongguk hummed and Taehyung frowned. "I get it now."

"What?"

"I've just been on your mind all day."

Just like you've been on mine. But I can't tell you that.

"How— fuck off," Taehyung sputtered out, clambering off his lap and Jeongguk watched him with an amused gaze. He reached forward and put a hand on Taehyung's back, mockingly comforting the older for his predicament.

"If it helps," Jeongguk's voice rang in his ears, doing everything he could to tease Taehyung just so he didn't have to think about his own lies. "This is all I'm going to be thinking about until I get another one."

"What makes you think we are going to kiss again?"

"You tell me, Taehyung," Jeongguk was speaking to himself as much as he was to the surfer. "Where else are you going to get a rush until you can surf again?"

He needed Taehyung to want to kiss him without reason so he didn't have to think about how much he wanted to hold the older and be gentle with him for very nerve wracking reasons.

"You greet me like that every night, and I'll be a happy man." Jeongguk snickered, to sit beside him. "How about making me happy?"

"Would you shut up?"

The biker hummed. "There really is only one way to shut me up, Kim Taehyung."

He could probably shut you up by just telling you something special and deep, too, you lame piece of shit. Just like a few days ago.

"Yeah, just need to find your damn mute button."

Jeongguk laughed again, doing before he thought as his hand rested on the far side of Taehyung's waist. Taehyung was subconsciously leaning into it and Jeongguk felt his heart jump.

His smile softened, face relaxing as it reminded him of holding Taehyung against his chest.

"Funny of you to think such a button exists, baby," Jeongguk said.

The surfer glanced over at him, and there was surprise on Taehyung's face.

Shit.

"Are you okay?" He suddenly asked the younger and Jeongguk wiped the enamored look on his face away. Taehyung was going to see right through him if he kept that up.

"Just snazzy," he shook his head, lying straight to the surfer's face and to himself. He didn't like the feeling, so he added, "M'not kidding, the past twenty four hours have officially felt so unreal."

There was no way that wasn't the stupidest thing to say and Taehyung wasn't going to see how much of a lying bastard he was— that he liked all the hugging and laughing, that he wanted to make Taehyung smile as much as he did on the cliff again.

And here he was acting like his problems were fixed by Taehyung kissing him.

Jeongguk knew Taehyung didn't see him like that. Not in the same way as he saw the surfer.

He just figured he'd pretend to be on whatever level Taehyung was at. It made life easier for everyone.

Jeongguk felt too warm in his jacket (which never happened after he'd gotten used to the beach) and began to take it off. Taehyung was watching him. His arms to be exact.

Good. He could make do with Taehyung being obvious and Jeongguk's hunt for distractions being cut down to an arms reach.

"You sure do stare a lot for someone who's supposed to hate me."

"Respectfully looking."

"Nothing respectful about ogling at my muscles." Nothing respectful about lying to the surfer, either, but hey. Jeongguk only said he was a half decent person. Taehyung was supposed to be a golden boy. "You aren't slick, Saltine— hey, the fuck are you—"

His thoughts all vanished in the light of a new panic as Taehyung reached for his jacket. Jeongguk's heart lurched into his throat and he didn't breath as he itched to rip it out of Taehyung's hands— out of anyone's hands.

Jeongguk never let anyone touch his leather. He never had and now he was faltering because of how carefully Taehyung was holding it, treating it with just as much, maybe even more, as Jeongguk.

Taehyung was holding it with gentle fingers, laying it on his lap and running a hand down the sleeve, tapping his fingers along the way.

Jeongguk remembered feeling the surfer touch him like that yesterday and his lungs opened up to breathe just a little.

"How the hell does this even keep you warm?" Taehyung frowned and Jeongguk just couldn't respond.

He'd never been one to care about the temperature. He'd never used his jacket for only the purpose of a jacket. His leather was his shield. Jeongguk was able to escape a weak miserable childhood through putting one on and following his role models. He grew into the jacket. Literally and figuratively.

Jeongguk didn't know what he was without it.

And he thought back to last night, all those lighter, generous emotions circling back, again and again.

He was scared of who he was without the leather jacket. It was all he could remember being besides something weak and manipulable.

And last time he'd tried to be more than a biker, he'd gotten someone killed. He couldn't do that again.

"I'm not going to douse it in mango this time." Taehyung whispered in a joking manner and Jeongguk cracked a small smile through his tense state. "Is the leather actually warm?"

"It's all I need."

In so, so many ways.

"Is it okay if I hold it?"

Jeongguk looked up to meet Taehyung's eyes. The older was so genuine and warm, so trustworthy and it made him feel safe just looking into those eyes.

He trusted Taehyung.

"Yeah."

After a bit longer of Taehyung admiring the jacket in his arms, Jeongguk watched him grab the zipper lining and leaned forward. Jeongguk stiffened as the jacket hit his back and Taehyung draped the leather over his shoulders.

That shy smile on Taehyung's face nearly ended him.

Taehyung lingered there, the hands on his collar, pinning the jacket to Jeongguk's chest and Jeongguk could feel the other's body warmth waft onto him.

The color in his face came back as the leather settled onto his body again and Jeongguk relaxed. Gathered himself as he stepped back into his comfort zone.

"You gonna kiss me again, Kim?" Jeongguk eyed his proximity.

"You want that, Jeon?"

More than you know.

Taehyung pulled his hands away and sat in front of him. Still so close. Only an inch from their bodies touching.

"Actually, just wanted to say we should skip the water today."

Jeongguk figured Taehyung was tired and spent. He didn't blame the older for feeling out of it and being out of it wasn't good to push at his fear.

"Why's that?" He asked anyway.

"We've got the time." Jeongguk had to admit he was surprising by Taehyung's words. Surprised and amazed. "Want to use it."

You're a lot braver than me, Kim Taehyung. I'm glad you don't know that, though. You'd see me differently.

"You're getting bolder every night." The biker chuckled.

"Am I?" Taehyung was grinning. "Maybe you're rubbing off on me."

Jeongguk could be a little braver.

"I think it's mutual, Taehyung."

Taehyung's smile softened into a caring one as Jeongguk slipped his arms back into the leather sleeves. Jeongguk was fixing the collar, keeping his eyes away from the older's because he knew he'd be caught if he looked Taehyung in the eyes, then.

"I like leather on you, Jeongguk."

His heart stopped.

Jeongguk felt every bit of joy in his chest bubble alive in a way he hadn't known it could. He didn't hear those words very often and it reminded him of Hwan in a way.

The young boy would spot him in the halls by the leather, and it just solidified how important it was to the biker.

And his mother had shit on him plenty, more when he started growing up because she lost all the control she had on him. She hated that leather jacket because Yoongi had been in one when he'd swept Jeongguk away, and she knew it meant he was hanging out with the older two boys.

It didn't mean as much from Yoongi and Namjoon if they ever said it to him. His dad didn't really mention it. At the beach, it was usually seen as a problem. Even in his hometown, people knew him by his leather jacket and name, but that didn't made it a good reputation.

So, yeah, Taehyung saying that meant a lot to him.

Because the leather jacket had saved him from one part of his life and Taehyung growing appreciation for it, understanding why he wore it, meant everything in the world.

That was not normal thinking for the biker.

He was so screwed, drowning in his own sea of Kim Taehyung.

—

CHAPTER 19- the drive-in movies.

Jeongguk was walking around the rows of cars in search of a familiar convertible. He knew Taehyung was around somewhere, considering he'd seen Jimin standing in a ridiculously long line for concessions and subtly slipped by unnoticed.

His grin appeared when he was in some middle row of the lot, spitting the surfer's car, but his smile fell equally fast when he saw a second figure leaning over the driver's seat door. Talking to Taehyung.

Laughing and whispering, and eyeing other cars, he realized upon getting closer.

It pissed him off.

Taehyung didn't even swing that way, as far as he knew. What was the older doing by encouraging the outright flirting?

The girl was pretty, too. But all Jeongguk could think was how much he wanted her gone.

The feeling scared him for a moment, where he stopped stalking over to the car and collecting himself and his composure. That wasn't his usual attitude.

But he didn't feel his usual feelings towards Taehyung anyway— so what did normality have to do with anything? Shitty way of convincing himself to intervene, but Jeongguk took it.

"—whatchya' doing down there?" He heard the girl say to Taehyung as he approached the vehicle.

Why the fuck do you care? Jeongguk thought spitefully.

"I surf." Taehyung was responding and Jeongguk raked his tongue along his inner cheek when her eyes lit up. "You live here?"

"Surfing sounds sick. And I go to school in the city."

"Ah, it's a nice city." He complimented. "College?"

"This fall."

She was Jeongguk's age. The fuck was this good for nothing chick doing talking to Taehyung? Jeongguk was much more entertaining than her. The biker didn't know why Taehyung was indulging her at this drive in movie when he could have the biker's company at the beach.

Jeongguk grabbed the car door and leaped over the side, sinking into the seat and meeting the girl's gaze with gleaming eyes of his own.

Taehyung didn't bother to acknowledge him. Jeongguk wanted to knock some sense into the surfer.

"Oh... hi. You must be his friend." She said politely, and her kindness went unnoticed as Jeongguk left that stupidly wide grin find a home on his lips.

Friend. Because Taehyung made out with his fucking friends like it was nothing. Jeongguk almost laughed aloud at the thought.

Instead, he decided to take control of the situation and leaned over the center console to touch the older. His hand grazed Taehyung's nape, mouth closing in on the skin below his ears.

He felt Taehyung go rigid, shivering when his leather jacket grazed the surfer's shoulder.

Jeongguk's grin widened at the reaction. The girl was watching him in confusion.

Go the hell away.

"Hey, sweetheart, you're not needed here." He rasped, breathing into Taehyung's ear even though he looked at the girl as he spoke.

Taehyung was still, only relaxing slightly when Jeongguk's hands ran through the strands at the base of his neck.

"Oh, so you're more than friends?" She raised a brow, testing the biker and Jeongguk's smile fell, eyes hardening at the tone of her voice.

"N—"

"Yeah, we are, so with full offense, leave." Jeongguk cut Taehyung off, hoping she got the message to drop any advances.

Her hands raised in defense. "Jeez, I wasn't making a move. Just being friendly. M'literally here with the girl I like."

Then, spend time with her; not Taehyung, you bitch.

"I hope you enjoy with her." Taehyung said his farewells and Jeongguk let his lips wander down Taehyung's neck.

Distract the surfer, waver his attention— get his mind on Jeongguk and Jeongguk only.

Taehyung elbowed Jeongguk straight in the chest, shoving him away and the biker bit back a smile. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Ow, lay off on the physical blows, Kim." Jeongguk laughed, rubbing his chest. "Just saved your gay ass from some chick flirting with you."

Right. No other reasons but that, Jeon.

"She wasn't flirting, you just heard her. What the hell are you doing here?" Taehyung was angry at him and Jeongguk scoffed. Of course the older was unappreciative. "You said you were gonna be out with Yoongi and Namjoon. What the fuck—"

"Saltine, I literally am. They're somewhere around." Jeongguk grinned. "I suggested this place to them since we have to lay low anyway. Found it 'cause you said drive-in movie and Mean Girls, not to mention I missed my favorite surfer too much."

"They're here?" Taehyung's face fell, head whipping around to frantically search. Jeongguk was confused by his reaction, the worry unexpected and mildly concerning. "You can't be here, Jimin doesn't know and—"

Jeongguk grabbed his jaw with one hand, trying to coax the surfer into a less frantic state. "I can see Jimin perfectly from here. He's stuck in that line and he's not close to the front. Yoongi and Namjoon aren't nearby either. Relax, baby."

"Jeon— I swear to god, fuck off." Taehyung grabbed the younger's wrist, Jeongguk noticing how there was no strength to his touch. "You shouldn't be here."

"Were you enjoying talking to that girl?" He asked instead, more curious and still slightly upset over it. Taehyung looked incredibly unimpressed, but he couldn't exactly rely on the older to understand his emotions.

"You're jealous? Really? That's immature, even for you." Taehyung tugged, and Jeongguk found himself becoming more and more distracted by the flawless features on Taehyung's face— his pretty lips and prettier eyes. "Jeongguk, this isn't the place—"

"You ate popcorn." His finger brushed over Taehyung's lips, feeling the butter along the skin. Jeongguk grinned and licked the butter staining his finger. Making a show of it. "Choke by any chance?"

"No, asshat." Taehyung pushed him away and Jeongguk didn't let the way the surfer's edged state bothering him show on the surface. "You need to go."

"I've got ten minutes, give or take. Plenty of time."

"Jeongguk, I'm not kidding." And he was busy watching the movie for a second when Taehyung caught him off guard. "Fuck, we need to talk."

"Hm?" The biker didn't give his full attention right away and mentally cursed when Taehyung grabbed his collar, tugging him an inch closer. "What? I just want to watch some of Mean Girls."

"Ten minutes is enough to talk." Jeongguk groaned like a child. He'd like to enjoy the comfort of Taehyung's presence silently as the film rolled on before them. "Hey, shut it. I'm serious. It's serious talk."

"We did so much of that yesterday. Can't we have some fun?"

"No," Taehyung's voice shook and Jeongguk's face finally let that concern surface. 

"What happened?" Nothing. "Taehyung?"

"Shit, I don't think ten minutes is enough—"

No. Something's bothering you and I want to know, Taehyung.

Jeongguk slipped his hand around Taehyung's neck and pulled him close so their eyes met. "You don't get to set that kind of mood and then drop it. Say it, Taehyung."

"Jeongguk— I don't— fuck, just hear me out, okay?"

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"I can't do that if you don't say shit. Say it."

"Okay, okay. Hoseok Hyung talked to me today. He was angry at Yoongi and me yesterday because... Jeongguk, the two of them know. They followed us to the shore a couple nights ago."

Jeongguk head tilted. That wasn't as bad as he thought, shrugging off the allegations. "Yoongi doesn't give a shit about what I do, that's not true. But Hoseok? He followed us? He doesn't trust you?"

Taehyung snapped away from him like he'd been burned by the words. Did Taehyung think Hoseok was in the wrong?

"He wanted to make sure I was okay out there alone. Well, because I suggested to all of them that I was alone." The surfer said instead.

"So he's not stupid." Jeongguk mumbled. "He questioned it."

"And found us making out." Taehyung didn't like how Jeongguk grinned. "It's not funny."

"I think it is." The younger hummed, chuckling. He didn't know what was so worrisome about the matter. Worrisome enough to scare Jeongguk. "So... what? He knows, but is he gonna rat you out?"

"Jeongguk, Yoongi fucking hates me."

What surfer did Yoongi like?

"He hates all of you, that's literally obvious."

"No— not like that— he hates me enough to hurt me, Jeongguk. He was there with Hyung. They spied on us. He's threatened by me because of how you trust me. He literally despises me because he saw you give me your jacket—"

His patience dissipated in less than a second. He didn't find anything worth joking about in Taehyung's words. He was accusing Yoongi. He was accusing his best friend... because Hoseok said so? Yoongi would never be threatened by a surfer anyway— none of what Taehyung said made sense. Or could be plausible.

"Why are you lying to me? He doesn't get involved with my life. He's an important part, but he lets me do whatever the hell I want. And he wouldn't spy on me. How old do you think he is? Twelve? He would have been direct to me about it if it mattered to him."

His voice was harsh, but Jeongguk didn't care when Taehyung had words to hit back with right away.

"He would have intervened if Hoseok Hyung wasn't there." Taehyung's voice shook. "Jeongguk, I'm not lying to you. It's not fair that he's taking it out on me. Or pretending with you."

"What is the point of this, Taehyung? You want me to be mad at him? You want me to argue with Yoongi over how he feels about you?" Jeongguk scoffed, fuming internally. "Right, because I'm sure Hoseok's opinion on me flipped like a switch after he saw us."

"It did— He does think a bit differently. I told him. I-I told him you help me in the water and that... that you saved me—"

No. No, no, no, no.

Jeongguk's gut plummeted.

"What?"

"I wasn't just going to let him think we meet at night to make out!"

Was Taehyung that... selfish? There were more implications to saying that Jeongguk had saved him than if they were meeting to kiss one another. Jeongguk didn't like more people knowing. Even Taehyung knowing had been teetering to his balance.

Jeongguk lost it.

"We said we weren't telling anyone about it. Only Mr.Tuan. You— what the fuck, Taehyung?"

"Why does it matter? He would have figured out anyway. Nothing else really matters over him possibly twisting what we are. I'm sure Yoongi knows, too."

"Yoongi doesn't know shit." Jeongguk grit out. "And it does matter when it raises a lot of questions that you know I don't want to fucking answer."

"Then, don't answer them! You always tell me that asking a question doesn't guarantee an answer!"

If it were that easy, Jeongguk wouldn't be making a big deal of the problem.

"Yeah, and how are you going to explain me being at the shore in the middle of a goddamn storm?"

It dawned on the surfer far too late. Jeongguk wanted to yell at him for just thinking about himself in that moment, for ignoring how personal of a time that was for the biker— for violating his privacy like that—

"He didn't think that far." Taehyung attempted to fix. "Hoseok Hyung didn't even consider that, don't worry. I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Right. You didn't think that through. And now you're here trying to get me pissed at Yoongi. Do you know how much we mean to each other?"

He couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't believe Taehyung was trying to pull this shit after everything. After how much he'd trusted the older.

"I-I do know. I know you do, but I'm not lying to you— why would I lie to you?" Taehyung looked desperate and Jeongguk suddenly didn't care.

"Oh, I don't know, why wouldn't Hoseok lie to you about Yoongi?" Jeongguk's laugh was dry, charred by offense. "Yoongi cares about me, okay? He wouldn't cut into my life when I'm enjoying."

"Then give me a good reason for why Yoongi treats me differently than my hyungs. Give me one damn reason for why you suddenly don't care that I'm getting hurt because of him? Do you care? Because I can't tell, Jeongguk."

Of course, I care. God, I care so fucking much, but you can't just go around telling people my secrets and accusing my best friend of shit.

"It was a kick to the leg and you said you were fine."

"Before I found out it's because he knows about us! He's hurting me because he's scared of losing you. You really think that's fair?" Taehyung paused. "Just go. Just fucking go, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk didn't see anything good coming out of that conversation by staying. His heart ached in his chest. He'd walked away from a conversation like that before for it to end terribly.

"You know what? We didn't even need ten minutes for this conversation, Taehyung." Jeongguk shoved the car down open stepped out, slamming the door shut. "Because it shouldn't have happened in the first place."

He didn't look back as he wandered away to find Yoongi and Namjoon to get out of any space near Kim Taehyung.

Jeongguk had trusted Taehyung. Had tried to at least, and it wasn't turning out good.

He was scared of what could happen.

—

CHAPTER 21/23– the fight + the second drowning incident.

It all happened so quickly. He saw Jimin hit Yoongi's shoulder and saw his best friend double over in pain.

The sight made him see red and Jeongguk hated red and he forgot himself as he chased after that red with a fist for the first time in years.

He didn't care who he'd punched, but only why. To stop them from hurting someone he cared about. Someone who had saved him from getting hurt.

Everything went quiet for a moment except the blood rushing in his ears, his heart pounding in his chest as the red in his gaze had yet to simmer away.

Yoongi grunted in pain and he turned to grab the older's arm, hoisting him to his feet and asking him if he was alright. Yoongi just looked at him and moved to get to the motorcycle parked not far.

Jeongguk didn't feel his rushing blood slow, taking its time to kill the piqued adrenaline coursing through him. Eating away at his common sense.

The diner door opened and Jeongguk turned to see Jin and Hoseok step out, stilling at the sight and everything that had happened as they put pieces together.

Jeongguk's blazing eyes eventually cooled, the wash of reality dousing his impulsive action as he stood steady beside Yoongi— making sure the older was alright. His hands felt numb, but he ignored that.

He looked back at Jin, who was helping Jimin, and then Hoseok, who was by Taehyung.

Taehyung.

Fuck.

Jeongguk met his eyes and every sane emotion hit him like a crushing wave drowning him in regret.

Taehyung looked heartbroken. And his hand was aching. He'd— he had... fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jeongguk stepped towards the surfer. "Tae—"

"Don't come any closer."

And Jeongguk's heart cracked. A bit of poison seeped out and seared through his chest. It reminded him of that rooftop. Hwan stuck at the ledge, telling him not the come close.

Telling him it was over.

"Taehyung, wait—"

Please, don't go.

"Go. Just leave. Please, leave." He held up a hand and Jeongguk let out a pained breath.

This time it wasn't the other person leaving him, but telling him to go away. Jeongguk wasn't sure if either was better.

Hoseok told him off, arguing with Yoongi before Jeongguk was being told to get on his bike and drive. His body worked like a mindless robot, functioning on given orders and thinking— well, undetectable.

His hands were shaking. He felt it when they tried to rotate the handles back to thrust the motorcycle forward and they faltered. He saw it when they reached the apartment complex and his hands struggled to pull the helmet off in his peripheral.

Jeongguk was shoving past Yoongi, running up the stairs to the apartment in a flurry of desperation. He felt sick. He felt sick in his stomach and in his head—

He hurriedly stumbled into the bathroom and slammed the door and folded over the sink, gasping for air as his hands shook in the sink, knuckles painted red and Jeongguk cried out.

He ran the faucet.

He let the soap burn his skin like the acid in his chest was burning the skin right off his hands.

He was scrubbing and scrubbing at his shaking hands, unable to muster a full breath as the water turned red and his eyes blurred with spots and flashes of nightmares every time he blinked.

Jeongguk was shivering and sweating, shutting the faucet and burying the sickeningly red hands, from such vicious scrubbing, in between his knees as he sunk to the bathroom floor. Like he'd sunk to that concrete rooftop after losing Hwan.

He hated red. His hands were red. He could only see red.

He could only think of one thing as his head spun and his hands hurt. His heart hurt. Everything just hurt.

And it was his fault.

What had he done?

~•४•~

They were arguing. Taehyung had been fuming when he'd shown up and it had all simply riled up into a mess.

"I'm tired of you 'putting up with me'," he sealed the words with air quotes, "and then giving me an earful for it."

"This isn't about me. I'm not letting you forget that you can't end up in jail. Whether you're trying to live your everyday, I can't let you forget a future exists, Jeongguk."

He hated it. Jeongguk hated how condescending and knowledgeable Taehyung was acting the part of. He hated how the know-it-all attitude reminded him of someone he resented in his life.

He'd wanted to see Taehyung for some peace of mind and the exact opposite was happening.

"And I'm not letting you forget that you're wasting your everyday."

"Well, guess what!" Taehyung laughed sarcastically. "At least I'm not breaking laws and beating people up. At least I actually know when a risk is too much."

"I don't care."

"Then, I don't know how you expect to live in the real world, Jeongguk." He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "I thought— I thought maybe I could help you. Learn who you were. You're not just a leather jacket, Jeongguk. You're a whole other person behind it and you're too stubborn to consider that. You're not even giving yourself the chance to live a better life."

No. Taehyung wasn't better than him. Taehyung made mistakes and now he was talking to Jeongguk like he was a perfect example. That Jeongguk was broken parts weakly put together.

He wasn't weak. He'd made sure he wasn't after his mother had ripped him apart.

"Stop saying that!" Jeongguk suddenly exclaimed. "Stop saying that bullshit like I'm broken parts needing to be fixed. I don't need fixing, Taehyung!"

"I never even mentioned fixing! That's never been my intention. It was always just treating you differently than everyone else does. Not treating you like a problem to avoid. Finding that side of you that no one else gets to see— I want to help, not fix. If you don't see the difference, that's not my problem."

"Taehyung, I don't want your help. When did I ever say I wanted a surfer's help?"

"So, that's it? I'm just a surfer. I'm— Is this because I accused Yoongi? Are you trying to get back at me for that?"

"No." He wasn't lying about that. He couldn't give two shits about Yoongi being accused at the moment.

"Then why? Why, Jeongguk? Why are you so cold all of a sudden? It seems like you're putting whatever I butt heads with over me and it's not fair. How could you just break your own pact— a promise you made to the both of us? I know this isn't you—"

"You don't know me, Taehyung."

Taehyung knew him better than anyone.

"Like hell I don't!" He retaliated. "I know you have a fucking heart. I know you enjoy my company, that you enjoy talking more than touching, that you hate hurting people. I know you trust me more than most people— and maybe I don't know you like Yoongi and Namjoon do, but at least I'm not encouraging you to put up walls and act invincible!"

Shut up. Shut up, Taehyung— stop. I'm not a good person. I punched Jimin. I punched someone.

"Don't bring them into this."

"They're the reason I'm here. For what they haven't done for you."

Fucking bullshit. Namjoon and Yoongi had done more than any other person in his life had for him.

His lips clamped shut and he was scowling, frustrated. "I hate your lectures, Kim Taehyung."

There were stronger, harsher, words on his tongue that he didn't let fall. He didn't think Taehyung deserved to be hurt that badly.

"I was protecting Yoongi."

"Yoongi can protect himself and we are both well aware of that. It's another excuse. That's all this is."

Nothing he did was enough. It was all a big scheme for him to get something he wanted. He couldn't make someone happy. Jeongguk wasn't built to play that part and this was proving it for the countless time.

"It's not!" Jeongguk latched a hand onto Taehyung's arm, the surfer crying out in shock. "Taehyung, you're supposed to help me, too, and you're just accusing me. I'm not— that didn't feel good and it hurts. I hurt someone, Taehyung."

He thought everyone in his life was being selfish. And the person he least expected it from was Taehyung. But it resided there, too.

"I'm not going to comfort you when you don't give a shit about hurting Jimin except for your selfish reasons." He said firmly.

"So everything's forgotten." Jeongguk said again. It was never enough. Jeongguk wouldn't deserve someone to consistently stay at his side. No one except Yoongi and Namjoon. "I saved your life, helped you with your fear— it doesn't mean anything to you."

"It means everything to me." Taehyung shook his head hurriedly. "But tell me how the hell I can trust you when you told me you won't hurt anyone— when you're scared of blood— and now you're standing here with cuts and bruises after hurting my best friend."

"I hardly hurt him."

Bullshit. You punched someone. You hurt someone. You hurt more than one person and you hurt them a lot.

Jeongguk's chest clenched so hard he couldn't breathe.

"I don't give two shits about how much you hurt him."

Taehyung didn't care about him. And if Taehyung didn't care— what was the point? Why was Jeongguk there— why had he ever helped the older or torn down his walls? All for nothing.

No one stayed so why did he try?

"A million good things lost to one bad choice?" Jeongguk chuckled, brows raised in a mocking manner. "Of course. That really balances it out."

"What are you trying to say?" He didn't realize his grip tightened until Taehyung jerked at it. "J-Jeongguk, that hurts— let go of my arm—"

"Maybe I shouldn't have saved you that day. My life would be fine and normal and I wouldn't be justifying something stupid for you. Maybe I should have just watched you go down and never surface. Nothing good comes out of helping people anyway."

Those ugly, heart shattering words came off his tongue before he thought twice about it.

The effect on Taehyung was immediate.

"Y-You're lying," the surfer whispered, laughing laughed airily. "No, you have to be lying. You would have saved me whether you knew it was me or not. Like any sane and able person— you—"

It was a waste of his time. If Taehyung didn't care, then who would? Who's opinion did Jeongguk care about without Taehyung around?

"You're not lying." Taehyung was crying. "You wish I died that day?"

No. No— not death. Not that. No, Taehyung couldn't die.

The objection was clear in his head and Jeongguk reached a hand out to touch him and Taehyung leaned away from the touch, a flicker of hurt flashing through his eyes just like earlier.

"I don't mean it like that." Jeongguk finally said. He didn't know what to say. "I just... I just—"

"Don't." Taehyung choked out. "Goddamnit, Jeongguk, that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard you say."

"Taehyung, I didn't mean it like that."

He didn't know what to say when nothing he had said was able to keep Hwan in his life. What could possibly keep Taehyung in his life after he said nasty words he couldn't take back? He always fucked things up like this. With his stupid mouth saying stupid things that he didn't mean.

"Shut up. Either you explain how you did mean it or you just fucking admit you wished I wasn't standing here." Taehyung looked terrified and Jeongguk felt a different kind of pain. Hwan hadn't been afraid of death that time. Taehyung was petrified by the thought of it. "That's better than that cryptic response you're giving me now."

"I don't mean it like that."

He sounded stupid. And pathetic. Jeongguk sounded like a broken record and he wished there was anything else in his head. All he could think about was how his words always fucked up his chances. He'd destroyed his last days with Hwan after saying something stupid and he wanted to beg Taehyung to stay.

How could he even ask the surfer of that, though?

Taehyung was laughing. Taehyung was laughing and grabbing his shoes. Taehyung was laughing bitterly and grabbing his shoes and I sniffing as he spoke. "Jeongguk— you— you just don't mean anything. All stupid games and when there's consequences, there's just others to blame and hurt. Fuck everyone else over instead of being in the wrong. See how many people stick around you with that method? I can count on my one goddamn hand."

"Taehyung..." what could he possible say? Nothing would keep people in his life.

"First, Yoongi fooling you and hurting me, then Jimin, and now this? You regret saving me because it made your life more difficult?" Taehyung nodded. "I really did trust you and I really enjoyed your company for a while, Jeongguk, but the way you ruin how people perceive you is unbelievable. And for what? To one day be stuck in jail with your precious leather? I wonder what kind of person you were before you ever put on that jacket, honestly."

That hurt. It hurt but he deserved it. He deserved to be told that. He deserved all the pain he felt. Jeongguk needed to take it and deal with it.

He'd gone too far. He always did. It was his curse.

"Good luck in life, you selfish piece of shit." Taehyung shoved past him and Jeongguk froze as everything crushed him with the fears trapped in his head.

His hands shook again. His gut fell into the floor and he felt eerily empty inside.

His hold on someone slipping away a second time.

His skin felt cold. The leather was even colder. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't see as his vision blurred.

You did this to yourself. You deserve this pain.

He saved Taehyung, just to tell him he wished the surfer was dead. He'd befriended Hwan, just to tell the young boy to leave him alone.

He couldn't do anything right. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe he was stupid and useless and nothing good to the world. Nothing he'd done proved otherwise.

~•४•~

Taehyung was standing in the water. He was fumbling and going too far. It was so obvious what danger he was putting himself in as his senses clouded like a storm over a clear sunny day.

The water was rising to Taehyung's waist, the bigger tides dangerously close to his neck.

Jeongguk was watching it happen to the oblivious older. He should have known, really, that coming to the shore to have a moment alone was impossible. Not when Taehyung was attached to it like him.

Nonetheless, he'd been pulled there. For some reason he'd felt the need to go to the shore and to the water— to leave the bikers' flat and get away from his motorcycle, to swap it for sand.

And now he knew why.

Taehyung was going to drown if he kept up the relentless stupidity. He was ready to go out on his own. He was pushing his body to something he was incapable of— alone. That was far too dangerous.

And when Jeongguk had walked up to the tide line and seen the familiar body, he'd froze and let out a surprised. "Taehyung?"

It surprised the surfer. Sent him stumbling deeper into the water and the biker was cursing under his breath.

But Taehyung caught himself, gasping and coughing, sputtering out gulps of seawater that stung in his throat.

"What—What are you doing here?" Taehyung cried out, voice failing him as every ounce of fight was dragged out of his body.

Jeongguk needed to do something. Taehyung was going to get himself killed.

"Get out of there," Jeongguk said as gently as he could, frightened when Taehyung's cries worsened. "Taehyung, c'mon, get out of the water—"

"S-Stop. Don't tell me what to do. I-I can do this—"

"What are you trying to prove?" Jeongguk wasn't sure his voice was audible over the waves. Had Taehyung felt that he was going to show up? That he had to prove a point? It was a stupid, deadly point if that was the case.

"That—That I don't need you," he sputtered out. Water slipped into his mouth. Jeongguk felt the urge to step forward. "I don't need you to do this!"

"Point proven," Jeongguk said hurriedly, "Now get out of there, okay?

"N-No, you need to leave," Taehyung took a few steps closer to him. "Why do you— you don't care whether I'm okay or not. Don't bullshit me!"

"I'm not bullshitting you, Taehyung." Jeongguk grit out. He didn't need Taehyung to be difficult when his life was on the line. "Do I need to drag you out of there? You're shivering."

"Stop caring when you don't mean it," he bit out, taking a step back again to answer Jeongguk's unspoken question. Jeongguk knew he was making a mistake. He knew Taehyung was being stubborn and stupid— a dangerous and possibly lethal combination. "Stop being everywhere— I-I'm fine."

"I'm coming in the water."

"Like hell you are!"

Fuck that, Kim Taehyung. Fuck everything.

Jeongguk stripped off his jacket and shoes, moving with speed to get into the ocean as quickly as he could.

Jeongguk's breath hitched when he stepped towards the shore and Taehyung screamed in fear, retracting away from him. Deeper into the ocean.

"Taehyung, stop it! You're too deep—"

"Please," Taehyung cried, looking dazed as he choked on a spew of some wave. He looked miserable and done. Gone and lost. Jeongguk knew the look all too well and it scared him. "Please, I don't want to die— I don't—"

And those words simply stabbed Jeongguk in the chest, hurt flashing across his eyes as he realizing what Taehyung was so scared of.

He was more scared of Jeongguk than the ocean. He was willing to push himself deeper and deeper into the ocean just to stay away from Jeongguk.

Jeongguk froze in his spot, unable to think or breath when he understood. He couldn't believe how badly he'd ruined Taehyung's life.

Taehyung thought he was there as an enemy, not as a savior.

"I'm... I'm going to go back to the sand," Jeongguk's voice was unrecognizable to himself. "But that means you're getting out of there."

Jeongguk backtracked out of the water, sand clinging to him as he kept his eyes on Taehyung and almost stumbled over on the sand.

"Okay, now walk towards me, yeah?" Jeongguk raised his hands, curling them inward to motion him closer, but Taehyung wasn't moving.

He was panicking. Feet frozen and and breaths shallow, his chest expanding at a speed far from normal.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk tried again. "You remember our fear training? Why don't you tell me a few things, okay? What do you hear and feel?"

It was when Taehyung closed his eyes that everything spiraled into a realm of unlucky doom. A larger wave rose above the rest, forming earlier, growing bigger and Jeongguk noticed it seconds too late.

"Oh, shit—" Jeongguk suddenly yelled for his attention. "Taehyung, there's a bigger wave—!"

It knocked him under. Taehyung didn't surface and Jeongguk was running into the water, heart stampeding in fear as he desperately scoured the nearby water for the older's limp body.

When he grazed skin, Jeongguk was grasping blindly and quickly, wrenching Taehyung up and out to rush him to the shore.

No, this couldn't be happening. It couldn't be. Taehyung had to get up—

"Fuck, fuck, fuck— wake up, Taehyung," Jeongguk hooked arms under him and held him away from the water, stumbling to the sand. "Taehyung, come on— shit."

Jeongguk toppled over and laid the surfer down, gasping for a breath as he put his hands on Taehyung's chest and pressed down for a steady beat of compression.

He didn't want to think that the unthinkable was going to happen. It couldn't.

He wasn't losing Taehyung like this. Jeongguk already couldn't live with himself, and he sure as hell would be farther from it if Taehyung didn't wake up.

"Goddamnit, why don't you just listen?" Jeongguk chided, voice raspy with disuse and exhaustion, both mental and physical. He felt a cry rising in his chest the longer silence panned out. "Get up, Taehyung!"

He pried Taehyung's mouth open to give him air when water came spewing out of his mouth and dripping down Taehyung's face. A loud gasp and panting, chest heaving for air as it had been cleared of the painful salty water.

Relief flooded the younger as he slumped and laid his head down on Taehyung's arm, holding back the tears in his eyes because Taehyung was still breathing.

Jeongguk didn't care about how much Taehyung's words had hurt, that reaction to his approach like he was a deadly plague— he didn't care as long as Taehyung was back on the sand, safe.

—

CHAPTER 29- the bonfire.
a/n: post like all the making up stuff LOL

Being hesitant to touch someone, to initiate anything, was unheard of to Jeongguk. He'd never second guessed a pursuit in his life. Eyes on someone he liked and he'd have them in bed by the night.

It was always been like that. Drinks and small talk, flirting and making his attraction painfully obvious.

Of course, none of that was true anymore.

Jeongguk was never so quiet and within himself. He hadn't been so nervous to shift closer to Taehyung so he could feel their shoulders brush.

Part of him wanted to ask. To make sure Taehyung wouldn't jerk away or hesitate to return the gesture.

The other part of him thought that was ridiculous and he should trust that Taehyung's forgiveness extended to much more.

They were talking about Taehyung's parents when Taehyung cracked a smile and shook his head. "Wow. Nice suggestion, Greased Lightning."

"Master of advice, I know."

"Please, you advised to choke on some popcorn. That's dangerous."

"I didn't say to choke on popcorn to choke. I said to choke on it by thinking about my—"

"I know what you said. And yet, you just had to show up and make yourself known anyway. Couldn't stay away for one night."

Never. I become all too miserable.

"Maybe you're right, Kim." Jeongguk murmured, swaying to bump shoulders with him. "Maybe you're the irresistible one. Would explain your countless admirers."

"Funny. Way to rub my singleness in my face."

"I'm partly serious, though." Jeongguk raised a brow. "Good heart, handsome face, talented and annoying? Sounds like a great guy."

"Then, why have I been single for so long?" Taehyung entertained his joke. "Do tell, kind sir."

But it wasn't a joke. Not really

"You're not going to find something picture perfect like that movie love you like." Jeongguk mumbled. After ages of thinking about himself and Taehyung and of them— Jeongguk knew what he wanted.

But he didn't know what Taehyung did and he couldn't do anything unless the surfer did first. His own personal rule, and one he didn't plan to stray from.

He heard Taehyung move, feeling the knee graze his thigh before his eyes opened. Taehyung had turned to face him, a smile on his face.

God, Taehyung looked so pretty when he smiled.

Jeongguk looked at him. "Hm?"

"Gguk." Taehyung whispered, and Jeongguk frowned, turning to face him as well.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Nothing." Taehyung shrugged, just staring into his eyes and Jeongguk fought the breathless surge that hit him.

He didn't feel as brave as before. But he was grateful Taehyung picked up at where he'd been left behind. It made him grin and stare back, losing himself in the surfer's warm, hug of a gaze.

Taehyung's full lips parted, eyes dazed, and Jeongguk watched how half his face flickered with orange and red from the fire, the other washed out by the moonlight and the dark ocean. His hair fell perfectly on his forehead, rustled and just messy enough. The slight tilt in his head—

Something was on Taehyung's mind.

"You sure it's nothing?" Jeongguk's voice was quieter than he thought it would be. The intimacy grew in the wake of his words.

"No."

"No...?" He smiled at the single word response. Taehyung seemed incredibly distracted. If his ego had a say, Jeongguk would feel elated. "Not sure what to make of that, Kim."

"Don't make anything of it, Jeon." The surfer mumbled and his gaze began to wander all about Jeongguk's face. Maybe Taehyung was trying to seek out all his imperfections. Find them and use them against those racing thoughts in his head and shut down the dreams that were mirroring in Jeongguk's head.

"Taehyung, are you sure everything's okay?"

He licked his lips and Jeongguk's gaze darted down to see it. He'd do anything to kiss Taehyung again, to be able to kiss Taehyung all the time— it wasn't his choice. It wasn't. That was Taehyung's choice and nothing about that would change.

And then Taehyung was leaning even closer, their legs touching more, faces drawing in further and Jeongguk put a hand on his knee.probably for himself to regain composure because his thoughts were racing and so was his heart.

Taehyung was so close. And Jeongguk didn't know if it would happen as much as he wanted it to.

"Hi, Gguk." Taehyung said softly, and Jeongguk get the blood rush to his face as he felt Taehyung's breath on his skin. So so close. So close without Jeongguk pushing for anything. Taehyung wanted this. He had to.

"Hey, baby." He whispered back. He wasn't used to waiting and letting someone else pull him in the rest of the way.

But the way his whole body thrummed, the hand on Taehyung's knee tingling, his eyes on the verge of fluttered shut. Jeongguk felt like the moment could shatter and he felt all the more gentle.

Taehyung made him feel so warm inside and Jeongguk just wanted that all the time. He knew the surfer was one of the best things to happen to him. The night before, him opening his heart and holding Taehyung's hand was proof of it.

He wanted to hold Taehyung's hand again. His fingers itched on Taehyung's knee and all he could think about was how they weren't close enough.

"You..." Taehyung's fingers grazed Jeongguk's forearm and the biker buried the small shiver that hit him. "You don't want to do anything right now?"

There was so much he wanted to do. But it wasn't his choice. Taehyung had to say it. "Like?"

Taehyung pointedly stared at his lips and Jeongguk couldn't help the sharp inhale that his lungs expanded on. The hand he had on Taehyung's knee pressed into the joint so it didn't shake in anticipation.

He knew what Taehyung wanted.

Please, just put me out of my misery and kiss me, Kim. Please.

"I didn't think you'd want me to." Jeongguk said truthfully. He hadn't known what Taehyung wanted with him until that moment.

"Who said?" Taehyung looked so dazed and pretty, lost in his thoughts like Jeongguk. The surfer was staring at him, thinking about him, placing bets on him. It was so obvious.

Jeongguk was losing it.

"I just— after everything, I thought you'd just want to be friends." Jeongguk looked away, at the ocean. What was he even supposed to say to Taehyung? Taehyung wasn't blind. He must've known how much Jeongguk was holding himself back. "You know you don't kiss your friends."

For a second he thought Taehyung wouldn't kiss him because he said that. Because he reminded Taehyung that his physical relationship of Jeongguk had been nothing close to normal and it wasn't what Taehyung wanted.

Taehyung deserved so much better than him.

Jeongguk knew that. Which is why his heart almost stopped when the deep chuckle sounded and fingers touched his face, turning his gaze to the surfer again.

Taehyung was touching him. His hand was cupping his face. Jeongguk was leaning into his touch and watching him so incredibly carefully. He tried to calculate the odds of his options, but he hated math. He tried to just think about what he would do if Taehyung just left him hanging there— he'd probably chase after the surfer.

He was always chasing after Taehyung. He really didn't deserve the surfer, and he wouldn't ever let Taehyung have anything less than the good person that he deserved. He would try not to at least.

But then Taehyung was calling him an irresistible idiot and it made his chest burn in the best way possible. The older was leaning in and Jeongguk breath hitched when just a hair of space was between their lips. His eyes fluttered shut, waiting and wanting.

Please. He thought.

He could promise Taehyung that he would be better and Jeongguk would work his ass off to be the guy Taehyung deserved and maybe then he'd close the distance first, but until then, he wanted the older—

Jeongguk's hand tightened in its grip on his knee as their lips brushed. So soft and quiet and gentle— just like Taehyung. Jeongguk didn't even know how to kiss Taehyung the way he liked. He never thought about being so light with his lips, where it made his head spin like it was in the clouds.

He felt like he was floating for a moment, that's how different it felt. He embraced it. He embraced how sweet it was, how gentle and inviting it was into Taehyung's heart.

Jeongguk didn't wish for anyone to have such a hold on him as Taehyung did.

It ended too soon. Jeongguk wanted him back when the surfer pulled away. Their foreheads were pressed against each other, breaths ragged and airy as he felt Taehyung's lips still so close.

Taehyung was smiling, biting his lip for a second before speaking. "Oh, that was so nice—"

Jeongguk pulled him closer before he could think about stopping himself. Taehyung had kissed him. Taehyung still wanted to kiss him. Even after everything.

That was all he could think about in the second as his hand was on Taehyung's waist and the back of his head drawing him as close as possible. Taehyung held him with equal firmness, matching his push to be gentle but sturdy at the same time.

He kissed Taehyung again. Tried to put his thoughts into actions because he didn't know how much he'd be able to say out loud.

How much he'd be able to say with wanting Taehyung for so long. Since they went to the cliff. Denying it all like an idiot and ruining things out of fear.

But he wasn't scared anymore. He just wanted to try and be someone Taehyung deserved.

He was trembling as he tasted the lemony seltzer on Taehyung's lips, kissing him slowly and deeply.

Jeongguk let Taehyung pull away because both of them couldn't breathe and Jeongguk never wanted to stop. Taehyung was panting a little, shivering as their noses brushed and their eyes opened to meet each other. Jeongguk held him with his shaky hands and couldn't think as wel as he wanted with how beautiful the older was.

Jeongguk could feel himself shaking. He didn't know how to stop it.

There was confusion overtaking his thoughts. Even though he'd gotten the effect of Taehyung's want to kiss him, what did that mean? What was going to happen after that?

"Sorry," He eventually mumbled, breathless. "You were saying something."

"Forget that," he frowned, stroking the cheeks and Jeongguk loved how kindly Taehyung touched him. Like they had so much time and space to sit into. "You're shaking, Jeongguk."

"I'm fine. I just... don't understand." He reasoned, lips just brushing Taehyung's as he spoke. He couldn't believe they were still that close. It was so different than when Taehyung had kissed him the first time. The older had been rattled and antsy, not nearly as relaxed as he was now.

Was Taehyung not nervous like him?

The surfer tucked the long strands behind his pierced ears, fingers dipping down to run along the dangling metal and Jeongguk loved every small touch. He loved how Taehyung's fingertips brushed on his skin.

"You said it yourself," Taehyung rose to his knees, gaining a few inches on him, and Jeongguk kept his hands steady on the surfer's sides. "I don't kiss just anyone."

Jeongguk paused; his eyes narrowed in thought. "So... so, what are you saying?"

"Take a guess."

"I don't want to play your games, Tae." He couldn't play games anymore. He would lose his mind if he did. He just wanted to hold Taehyung's hand forever, hug him close, kiss him as gently as Taehyung had just to him.

Jeongguk wanted to lean his head on Taehyung's shoulder whenever he wanted. Hold the older like he was a lifeline, because sometimes he really felt it were true.

"Well, I want to play yours.And I want to be the only one who gets to. Without it really being a game."

Fuck. What the fuck. Jeongguk's thoughts all halted because Taehyung wanted him the same way Jeongguk did.

Jeongguk was grinning, chuckling and letting that small slip of his teasing nature break through Taehyung's wordy responses. He couldn't believe his ears. Or how lucky he was. "I don't think that's really playing around then."

"Oh, shut up." Taehyung was annoyed and it sent a thrill through Jeongguk. "I'm just trying to be smooth and you're here laughing!"

"No, no, you did great, Tae." Jeongguk laughed anyway, voice throaty and coming from his heart because everything in him thrummed and he felt on top of the world.

Taehyung was smiling cutely, their noses touching as his excited eyes made Jeongguk want to kiss him again. He wanted to pull Taehyung closer, tell him how good he was. "Really? I actually tried, you know. Being all cool and cryptic like you. Like I know what I'm doing."

And so he did that, arms wrapping about the surfer so he could lean into Taehyung's ear and speak against his skin. "Mhm, you did so good for me, baby."

Because he was right there, up against Taehyung's ear, he felt the older shudder as his lips pressed against his love, teeth nipping at the edge of it. Taehyung's ear was burning and flushed in red.

Taehyung relaxed into him, letting Jeongguk move his hands around in a soothing way.

"I still need you to say it." Jeongguk murmured, finding himself the more he kissed along Taehyung's jaw and down his neck. Taehyung had given him himself back by placing that promise for them in Jeongguk's head.

"Say?" And he realized Taehyung couldn't pay attention with his lips on the surfer's skin, so he pulled away, grinning.

Jeongguk felt on top of the damn world.

"I need you to say what you want."

Taehyung dragged it on in the want to kiss him again, making Jeongguk chest clench around his heart, but he refrained from granting the older's wish in order to get the words he needed.

"What I want?"

"What you want."

Taehyung's appreciative, small smile made every bit of pain worth it.

"You."

Him. All of him. Just him. Jeongguk didn't know how to feel anything but utter admiration for how trusting and how big of a heart Taehyung had.

Because then he was explaining himself. He was explaining risks and him. He wanted to be with Jeongguk.

With him. With him.

The words coursed through his head like they were the only words in the dictionary. Taehyung wanted something lasting with him. He didn't want to leave Jeongguk.

Jeongguk couldn't breathe. He had forgotten how to a while ago, but everything about Taehyung just— just made him feel so good.

Taehyung had thought he would want time to recover after last night. After opening his heart. It was quite the opposite. He just wanting Taehyung close to him without an ounce of hesitation. He wanted Taehyung to never leave.

Taehyung was worth any waiting period he would sit through, Jeongguk realized. If Taehyung hadn't kissed him just minutes ago, he would have tried to bond their mishaps and let the older feel he could be trusted again.

Jeongguk held his hand. His fingers laced between Taehyung's and he was smiling. He couldn't stop smiling.

"Is this..." He couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth were real. "Is this it? Can I ask you— do I ask you to be mine now?"

Taehyung chuckled, "as long as I'm the only one you have eyes on."

He hadn't looked at anyone like he had Taehyung since the day he'd seen the surfer walk through the diner doors.

And they were bickering like a thing hadn't changed. Jeongguk loved that about them. Even after everything, he could treat Taehyung like someone he was comfortable with, insult him and spew out jokes. And Taehyung would return the energy.

He just always felt like himself with the older. In every way.

Taehyung said something to him.

But he didn't even comprehend it as he was thumbing at the surfer's waist and Taehyung's arms were on his shoulders, playing with the hair at the back of his neck. Their eyes met and Jeongguk couldn't even try and understand what Taehyung had said to him.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Jeongguk asked.

"Doesn't matter anymore." Taehyung didn't seem to care either and Jeongguk tugged his waist closer, causing Taehyung to shift forward so he was seated in his lap like the first time they'd kissed on the shore. So much had happened since then. It felt different, too.

Jeongguk was holding Taehyung gently so the older could situate himself, staring up at the surfer.

Jeongguk gave Taehyung a hard time. Something about just having the older glee at him with a smile plastered on his face made Jeongguk giddy inside

He squeezed the surfer's sides and Taehyung squirmed, huffing a little as Jeongguk chuckled. They were laughing together as their noses brushed. "You think a relationship will work?"

"I'm going to have to follow your lead on this one." Jeongguk hugged his midsection. "Don't have much experience in the dating game."

"Same here."

"Well, shit."

Taehyung laughed, forehead against his. "It's okay. We'll figure it out."

The words made an appreciative smile curve on his lips. "Yeah. I guess, I can't say much worse than I already have."

It was all so perfect, and Taehyung was joking around, but Jeongguk was concentrated on the light touch of his fingertip just running below his eye. It tickled the biker's skin and he liked it a lot.

"Does that feel nice?" Taehyung asked when his eyes closed and he let out a small breath.

"Mhm." He hummed in response, hoping Taehyung would keep up the mindless tracing around his face. He did. And then Taehyung was kissing him on certain spots around his face. On the corner of Jeongguk's eye, between his brows, and Jeongguk held his breath as Taehyung hovered over his lips. Only to press that warm touch to the mole below his mouth.

His hands gripped the slack in Taehyung's shirt tighter, Taehyung looking at him with such sweet eyes and a sweeter smile. It was contagious as Jeongguk leaned in closer to him.

"My boyfriend."

"All yours, handsome." He whispered back to the older, the title making his heart skip a beat. Taehyung was everything Jeongguk wasn't and he couldn't believe the surfer was willing to be his.

His hands smoothed down Taehyung's hips and thighs until Taehyung also wasn't breathing, signaling Jeongguk to grasp his chin and pull his boyfriend down into a kiss.

"Can I promise something?" Jeongguk mumbled in between their kisses.

"Sure. As long as you keep it this time." Taehyung's nose scrunched playfully when Jeongguk deadpanned— the expression washing away as Jeongguk kissed him again. "What are you promising?"

Jeongguk pulled away to look at him, staring into his eyes and feeling so warm and caring. He never wanted to see the older hurt and he would never let it happen again. He would promise that his arms would be a safe place for Taehyung to fall into, and that he would be there when he wasn't before.

"That choosing to be with me will be one of the best risks you ever take, Kim Taehyung."

—

CHAPTER 32.5- something to gift his surfer.

"When I said I wanted to come downtown, I didn't mean to a fucking jewelry store." Yoongi grumbled as the white walls and glass cases screamed luxury. "We don't take from high end places like this, Jeon."

"I know, I know. We're not here to steal anything." He assured quietly, smiling at the employee because he couldn't believe Yoongi was saying shit like that aloud.

Namjoon nudged him. "So, what are we doing here?"

"Shopping." Jeongguk left the two bikers in the entry, temporarily stunned, and walked up to one of the counter. He saw so many crystals and giant stones, rings and necklaces.

Nothing in particular stood out to him.

Well, he already had an idea of something in his head after a post had showed up on his page. If he found something similar, Jeongguk would be all over it.

"Hello, can I help you?" The employee asked, gesturing to the clear showcases.

"Uh, just browsing." Jeongguk fumbled out, backing away and turning to another wall. "Thanks."

She nodded, clearly a little hesitant and Jeongguk internally cursed. Maybe he should have had Yoongi and Namjoon leave their jackets behind. His was with Taehyung for the evening so that wasn't a worry.

"He's lost it." Yoongi whispered to Namjoon, loud enough for him to hear and Jeongguk rolled his eyes as he wandered about.

The two other bikers stood idle at the front of the store, talking amongst themselves and Jeongguk didn't pay much attention to them as he focused on finding his desired gift.

He couldn't hide his joy when he saw something similar. The silver chain looped with a closed bottle pendant. Jeongguk looked over at the employee and excitedly pointed to it. "Could you show me this?"

She did and it wasn't too expensive. Jeongguk knew Taehyung would yell at him if he spent too much money on it. Besides, he didn't have that much on him at the moment. Or in general.

The employee was ringing up his purchase when he was looking around at a spinning stack of pendants.

He saw a bird one.

Oh, he had to get that for Taehyung or he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

"Could you add this?" Jeongguk interrupted her bagging process as he pulled the pendant off the stack and held it out to her.

She smiled and took it from him. "Who's the lucky person?"

"What? Can it not be for myself?" He joked, pulling out his wallet. Jeongguk was lucky he had just enough.

"It could be," she shrugged. "But I can tell this doesn't fit the type of jewelry you tend to wear."

The employee was staring at his hands and then his ears, Jeongguk nodding with a chuckle. "Yeah, you got me there. It's for my boyfriend."

"Lucky guy." She hummed, taking the money from him. "Do you know what you're going to put inside the bottle?"

"Not yet, but probably something stupidly cheesy. He loves that kind of stuff," he thanked her as he took the change and bag from her hands.

"I hope he likes it." She waved goodbye and Jeongguk backtracked towards Yoongi and Namjoon at the front of the store.

"The hell did you even buy in a place like this?" Namjoon eyed the back in confusion and Jeongguk folding it carefully to prevent any damage as they stepped into the darkening outdoors.

"A necklace for Taehyung." He replied with a proud smile.

"Yeah, he's out of his damn mind." Yoongi said to Namjoon.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "Standing right here, Hyung."

"Fine," Yoongi looked at him. "You're out of your damn mind."

"Where'd you even get the money for that?" Namjoon, of course, asked more practical questions as they approached their motorcycles to head off to a park with their original plan to eat dinner together.

"I'd been saving up for a newer helmet," Jeongguk shrugged as he placed the necklace inside. "The helmet will have to wait, but I'm not complaining."

"A necklace over a helmet? You're so whipped it's hurting your life choices." Yoongi grunted, grabbing his helmet from his seat compartment. "Makes me want to forget I know you sometimes."

"Well, I have to do the most when you don't do shit." Jeongguk shot back. "Gotta make up for your lack of moves."

Yoongi's eyes narrowed. "Don't even start this—"

"At least I'm not the one torturing everyone with miles of tension all bundled up in some little itty bitty space between me and the guy I pretend to hate," Jeongguk shoved his seat closed and tugged the helmet over his head.

"The fuck does that have to do with anything?" Yoongi muttered, shoving the helmet on, too. "And I'm not pretending to hate Hoseok— he's a pain in my ass."

"If he was a literal pain in your ass, maybe you'd quit making me want to bang my head against the wall every time you meet him." Jeongguk scoffed. "And I didn't even mention Hoseok— you brought him up."

"Yeah, because you've given me this dumb shit about the two of us before." Yoongi glared at him, staring hard as he flicked his tinted visor down and starting his engine.

"I can't believe you two still argue like this." Namjoon closed his eyes tiredly, hidden behind his visor as they all signaled that they were good and sped away from the jewelry shop.

It wasn't until later that night, after he and Taehyung had spent some time at the diner with Tuan, that Jeongguk was staring at the small picture he's printed out. It was a picture of himself, which was weird to look at, but he liked it. He was wearing his helmet in the photo, visor up and revealing his eyes. Taehyung's favorite biker.

Jeongguk was tapping the pen in his hand frustratingly against his forehead. He wanted to write something on the back of the picture before putting it inside the bottle, but he didn't have any idea what to say.

Maybe something funny? If Taehyung opened it, that meant he would be missing Jeongguk, so maybe some of the biker's wonderful personality would make him smile.

Jeongguk shot the idea down rather quickly, though. He was determined to do something... well, sweet. Or sentimental. Something that would touch Taehyung's heart.

To seal the gift as something he would have never thought he'd ever be putting together just months ago.

He thought about the entire summer. Maybe when he'd first seen Taehyung— no, there was nothing sentimental about his thoughts of the older when he'd first seen him walk into the diner. The cliffside? They'd talked about it a lot and he liked seeing Taehyung's face in person when he called the younger beautiful.

That idea got scrapped, too.

Jeongguk thought to why Taehyung had ever approached him first. Because he'd saved the surfer.

And then he was thinking about the second time Taehyung had memorably approached him. How Taehyung had put aside the horrible things Jeongguk had said upon hearing he was in trouble. Taehyung had put the biker over his himself.

Which then saved Jeongguk.

So, he wrote that. In a simple message that meant much more to them than a stranger's understanding.

thank you for saving me, too.

❧ ❧ ❧

what the hell. guys i'm gonna cry— NO WAY THIS BOOK IS OVER. A G A I N.

anyway i couldn't be damned to edit this 30k word chap so apologies for mistakes (me pretending like the rest of this book is actually edited lol)

the end notes include a drawing of jk's tattoo, my personal connections to b&b, and more; so if you want to read those, that's next.

if not, then this is it :') *insert some sad song*

my brain has been absolutely annihilated but this chap was so worth it hehe♡

✵ NEETO ✵