❧ Bottled Up Inside ❧

"Is that what y'all were doing when you called me yesterday morning?"

Jimin was leaning against the frame of the doorway and Taehyung nearly jumped out of his skin as he covered his neck with a hand. He'd been in the bathroom, seeing the bruises heal a bit, but more annoyed with the biker because he knew Jeongguk was having the time of his life seeing Taehyung fuss over them so much.

In his opinion, he'd rather not have his friends crowd around and get all the details of their time together— one, because he wasn't shameless like Jeongguk, and two, because it made him a flustered mess and he did enough of the stammering when Jeongguk rendered him speechless.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" Taehyung spewed out, blinking and turning away from the door so Jimin couldn't see his frontside.

His best friend just snorted and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and pulling Taehyung's hand away from his neck.

Jimin whistled when Taehyung's weak defenses exposed him and the older started laughing upon taking in the healing bruises. "Damn, your biker did a number on you, Tae."

"Shut up."

"You look hot all messed up like this."

"You are not helping at all, Jimin."

"I wasn't trying to help," Jimin scoffed, fingers suddenly working along the skin and Taehyung yelped when they stung a bit. "Hold still."

"What are you doing?" He grimaced as Jimin rubbed the skin, massaging it almost and he could see the skin get redder with greater blood flooding as his best friend did so.

"Helping," the older looked up at him. "You really thought you could hide this from me? 'Would explain all the high neck shirts today."

"I'd rather hide it from Jin Hyung," Taehyung admitted. "Don't exactly want to wish my older brother good morning with hickeys on my neck— god, Jimin, I have hickeys— I'm going to kill Jeongguk."

"Just give him some back."

"Well, I did but he can hide it under his jacket all he wants." Taehyung huffed. "Annoying little asshole."

"Your relationship truly is one of a kind, Tae."

"Tell me about it." He rubbed his forehead tiredly as Jimin stepped away and opened a drawer. He was pulling out aloe vera gel and Taehyung prayed that it helped.

"Not just for sunburns," the older held it up to show him before squeezing some onto his fingers.

"Why am I not surprised you know so much about getting rid of these."

Jimin just grinned.

"So what else did you guys do besides marking each other up all night?"

Taehyung slapped him, eliciting a laugh from his friend as the chill of the gel spread across his neck. "I actually... I sat down and talked to Yoongi."

"I knew you had se— wait, what?" Jimin pulled away to look at him. "You guys genuinely only made out?"

"I— what the hell, Jimin? I didn't lie!"

"Wow, you have some self restraint, Kim Taehyung." Jimin raised his brows, capping the bottle and rubbing the aloe on his skin some more. "How was talking with Yoongi, though?"

"It was good actually." Taehyung licked his lips and scratched his head when Jimin was finally done, looking in the mirror to see his neck all shiny and red from the massaging, but he just hoped it helped fade them. "I apologized to him and he apologized to me."

"Yoongi apologized."

Taehyung chuckled, "Yeah, believe it or not, he did. And... the part I took away from it most was that he thinks I make Jeongguk happier. He thanked me for helping him."

"Holy cow," Jimin nudged the drawer shut with his hip and washed off his hands. "I'm impressed."

"I know right, I didn't think Yoongi would ever open up about it all, but—"

"I'm impressed with you, too, Tae." The older leaned against the sink counter. "You started the conversation and apologized first— that's not easy to do considering what he's done."

"Well, I learned a thing or two from a very good best friend." Taehyung rocked on his heels, smile grateful as Jimin gasped playfully.

"Oh my goodness, who is it? Should I get lessons from them?"

The younger laughed, reaching for Jimin's hand. "I'm serious, Minie. You helped me find Jeongguk that day even after I had hid the truth from you and he punched you— you looked past all that and still helped."

"Hey, I know you better than you know yourself." Jimin nodded, swinging their hands. "You can trust me to help when you don't know what to do."

"I really don't know what I would do without you, Jimin."

"You would be absolutely miserable." His best friend squeezed his hand and then suddenly retracted it, looking at the limb in disgust. "You've washed your hands, right? I don't know where it's been and—"

"Oh my fucking god— yeah, I would be perfectly fine without you, Park Jimin." Taehyung groaned. "And yes, I've washed my goddamn hands."

"Good. I don't want biker cooties."

"Biker cooties." He deadpanned. "What are you in? Third grade?"

"Never too old for cooties."

"You're so stupid."

"Stupid enough to save your relationship, uh huh." Jimin crossed his arms over his chest and puffed up his lungs, looking bigger with his toned body flexed. "You don't get to attack me for the rest of the trip!"

"That's so unfair!" Taehyung protested. "I can't help it— it's literally in my muscle memory!"

"Why are you guys arguing in the bathroom?"

Hoseok.

"Oh, shit." Taehyung looked down at his neck and then at Jimin, panic clear in his face. "Jimin!"

"This is on you for calling me stupid, smartass." Jimin proved to be absolutely useless as he grabbed the door handle and wrenched the door open to reveal both Hoseok and Jin standing outside. "Hello!"

He was going to kill his best friend.

"Uh, hi?" Jin blinked. "Is everything okay? I could hear you both yelling as I walked upstairs."

"I could hear it from my room," Hoseok scoffed. "Loud motherfuck... woah, Tae, your neck—"

"Shut up!" He put his hands over his ears, eyes closed as he sang a random horrid tune to drown the words out.

Hands grabbed his and Taehyung winced as his palms were pried away from his ears and his singing died off to see all three surfers staring at him in amusement.

He wanted to just splat and die in that moment.

"My lameass brother finally got laid." Jin was laughing and Taehyung felt his face burn a bright color like glow sticks being cracked into neon luminescence.

"He didn't get laid, but his boyfriend and him have been hitting some bases." Jimin filled them in and Taehyung flipped him off. "Doesn't he look good, Hyungs?"

Hoseok braced a hand on the door frame and chuckled. "Tae, you look just ecstatic."

"I seriously have never hated you guys more."

"More than when I put paint in your shampoo bottle?" Jin immediately threw at him and Taehyung blinked more a few seconds, fighting the smile from the old memory to pursue his anger.

"Way more than when I rubbed white paint all into my hair." He huffed, act falling apart the longer he looked at them.

Hoseok noticed quickly, reaching a hand forward to swat at his head. "I see you smiling, dummy."

"I'm not!"

"Are to!" Jimin shot back and he cursed as his cheeks stretched and an unstoppable smile pulled on his lips. "See!"

"Shut it," he shoved the shorter and Jimin threw his arms around him, clinging like a koala and making him plant his feet like tree roots. He could not move an inch. "Jimin, get off!"

"No!"

"You two are unbelievable." Jin rolled his eyes and Hoseok looked at him before throwing an arm over his shoulder and messing up his hair. "Seok!"

They were all laughing at the unpredictable location of the time passing enjoyment. Taehyung felt a lot less anxious about his neck and more normal then, too— like he'd broken some level of inexperience that he could relate to his friends about.

Being impulsive wasn't a bad thing. It brought out a lot of good.

He'd always had a limited space in his head and in his life, narrow view and dreams. He didn't like to think beyond much. He hadn't liked change much. He liked his bubble of life because it was manageable and known.

But his bottled of life had been shattered and he was exposed to a lot more of what was out there that summer. He connected to his friends differently— to Mark and Mr.Tuan differently. He saw new sides of new people and he changed, too.

Later that morning, Taehyung was sitting next to Hoseok on the couch, head on the dancer's shoulder as Jin sat on the single seat to the left and Jimin splayed his legs over both Taehyung's and Hoseok's laps while taking the rest of the couch.

"Damn," Jin was saying and he shot his gaze over the the older. "Can't believe it's almost over."

"Honestly, this has felt like the longest summer of my life." Taehyung shrugged, pressing himself closer to Hoseok.

Hoseok's head tipped over to rest on his. "Well, that makes sense. You haven't been here in two years and it wasn't exactly a typical summer."

"I know," he chewed his lip, putting his clasped hands on Jimin's thigh and fiddling with his fingers. "And not to be sappy, but I'm sorry I didn't spend nearly as much time with you guys as I wanted to."

"Tae, don't say that," Jimin patted his hands. "You had a great summer regardless and that's all we could ask for."

"Jimin's right," Jin smiled, pulling his legs up to tuck under himself. "We're all honestly just grateful you're okay. Couldn't ask for anything more than to see you smile after everything that's happened."

"Thank you," he looked past his brother's shoulder, out at the ocean. It reminded him of when they'd sat around on the couches after he'd woken up from his surfing accident. All worried and heartbroken, Taehyung himself so scarred to ever go near the water again.

He understood how much he'd grown.

"Not to mention your paintings!" Hoseok nudged him. "They are insane and you wouldn't have painted that if the summer didn't unfold the way it did."

"I guess," he smiled, looking around the room, "Did you guys have fun?"

"Oh, I had a blast." Jin was the first to say. "Cooped up in my room most of the time to study." They laughed and he grinned. "No, but I seriously had a great summer. It wasn't the same without you last year and it was better this time around."

"You just had to involve three other unwanted people into our summer, too." Jimin teased Taehyung the the youngest flicked his side. "I got a ton of laughs, though! And heart attacks— but mostly laughs!"

"Laughing at my tragic relationship." Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"And at our little enemy situation between Hobi and Yoongi." Jimin's smile was sweetly innocent even as Taehyung hid the snicker behind a hand when Hoseok shot him a glare.

"He's actually an annoying shit, thank you very much." Hoseok defended. "Can't believe you all think my misery is funny."

"Well, something's up." Jin's brows were raised. "He asked for you that one day we were standing in the diner lot. And he gave you Jeongguk's leather jacket, Seok. I don't think that's normal from the guy."

Hoseok dumped his head onto the back of the couch, groaning at their teasing singsong voices as the three other surfers fell into a fit of laughter. "There's nothing going on! I'm just the only person he's talked to individually, okay?"

"Okay, Hyung, I'll totally believe the guy who spied on me." Taehyung nodded, clearly unconvinced, and Hoseok slapped the back of his head lightly making him fumble out amother laugh.

"Leave me alone all." He grumbled, Jimin kicking his foot up to smack his shoulder. "Let's go back to being sentimental about the summer events."

Taehyung's amusement died first and he gazed at his hands again. "Oh, I actually did have something... Jeongguk told me I should try surfing today."

"Really?" Jimin shot up to sit straight. "Do you think you're ready?"

"I don't— I don't know, Minie. That's the thing," Taehyung pursed his lips. "He told me I was going to surf before the summer is over and I can't tell if he's just saying that to keep his word or because he actually believes it."

"I think we all know Jeongguk is looking out for you, Tae." Hoseok frowned.

"Well, do you feel nervous or terrified about it?" Jin asked instead.

"I guess..." he thought about if for a few moments, not wanting to jump to an answer without thinking because he knew Jin had a reason for separating the two feelings even if he didn't understand it. "More nervous. I'm not scared of the water like before."

"Then, you'll be okay." Jin nodded with a reassuring smile that lifted some weight off his shoulders. "If you felt terrified, I would say not to. But nerves are okay and normal. You haven't surfed since the start of the summer, Tae."

What Jin said made sense. And Taehyung realized Jeongguk must have felt the same way. Jeongguk was observant of everything he did and there must have been something that told the biker that his opinion of the waters had shifted entirely from the fear they'd held onto all summer.

Maybe the way he looked at the ocean. Jeongguk had mentioned that once. The way he looked at the waters with a sense of longing and not terror.

He just needed to tackle the last obstacle.

Easier said than done, though.

~•४•~

"Damn, Saltine, that wetsuit hugs you better than I can." Jeongguk said while standing from the patio steps. Jeongguk dusted off his shorts and Taehyung rolled his eyes as he stopped just shy of the biker's reach.

"Don't make it weird," he replied, wringing his hands together and then fidgeting with the sleeves stuck to his skin like glue. "Putting on a wetsuit felt strange enough already."

Jeongguk took the extra step to put a hand on his arm and halt his nervous antics. "You look great. And ready. So, let's go."

Taehyung grabbed that hand just when Jeongguk turned away, making the younger spin back in surprise. "Sorry— I just..."

"Hey, I'll be right there with you." Jeongguk cupped his face, smile gentle and Taehyung nodded appreciatively. "Can't believe the biker is reassuring the surfer of his abilities in the water. Do you realize how twisted that is?"

Taehyung bit down on his smile because the joke did made him feel better. "Shut up."

"Never, baby." The younger winked stupidly, making Taehyung shove him out of the way and skip down the steps. The sand was warm that afternoon, high tide falling earlier than the usual evenings, body sinking into the feeling as he slowly reached for his board leaning against the patio steps.

His hand ran along the edge, bumpy from waxing it earlier. The topside was sticky and gave his hands a good grip to lurch it up and out of its place dug into the sand. It was heavy in his arms as he tucked it under and Jeongguk was cheering when he turned around, securing the board with great muscle memory.

That was definitely the easiest part. Taehyung walked alongside the biker, who had one of Tuan's extra boards in his hands, towards the shoreline where his friends already stood. He saw Yoongi and Namjoon sitting in some chairs near the tide line and waved at them. Namjoon waved back and Yoongi just rolled his eyes.

Jeongguk scoffed at the eldest biker and Taehyung swatted his expression away with a chuckle. As they passed the two, Jeongguk was yelling, "At least wave back, Yoongi!"

Yoongi gave him a look, raising his hand and then turning it around to flip him off.

"Son of a bitch," Jeongguk grumbled and Taehyung grinned, tugging on his shirt. "What?"

"You're cute." He shook his head, making Jeongguk's frown shift to surprise— albeit ears red like always.

"Hello, lovebirds!" Jimin greeted as they came to stand beside the shorter. Taehyung smiled meekly as the older nudged his shoulder and bonked their boards together. "You ready?"

"I think so?"

"Good enough for us." Hoseok cut in between them, free arm thrown around Jimin's shoulder. "Mr.Leather, you ready?"

"Hell, yeah." Jeongguk raised his board above his head like it was a trophy and they all laughed before looking out at Jin, who was already wading out in the water.

Hoseok and Jimin went ahead first, catching up to the eldest sitting on his floating board and Taehyung hesitated when the water came just shy of grazing his toes.

He became hyper aware of all the things around him with the dip of his toes, the sun basking down on his dark hair, soaking in the heat like his skull was on fire. His mostly concealed skin kept from direct sun and burns, face on the blank side and his dazed eyes were trained on the vibrant blue water foaming towards the tan sand, rivaling the blue of the cloud-less sky, sun lowering towards the horizon.

He could hear his heartbeat in his head, pumping blood faster through his body. The roof of his mouth felt dry and his fingers shook just enough for him to notice.

Taehyung looked up and saw Jeongguk, shorts and tshirt swaying in the slight breeze trickling through the air. His board was floating on the waves as he bent down to attach the ankle strap and Taehyung took a few steps towards him, mimicking the motions and letting out a sharp breath when the velcro of the strap was secure around his own ankle.

Don't rip away from me this time.

They laid flat on their boards when the water lapped at their waists and swam out, pulling the boards over the small waves curling in towards the shore and Taehyung inhaled a great amount of air before pushing the head of his board under a larger one and swimming under.

The submerge with the sides of the board in his hands sent images flashing through his eyes. Ones that made his skin chill and chest squeeze. His throat constricted.

He burst through the surface with a gasp, hair dripping into his eyes as he let out a small pained sound. Sitting upright on his board, tail end dipped underneath from his weight, Taehyung pinched his lids shut, heaving for a clear breath while coughs spurred from his mouth.

Taehyung raised his ankle out of the water and shuddered in relief seeing the strap still connected, excess slack floating with his board. Jeongguk emerged out of the water near him, shoveling arms through the water to swim towards him.

The surfer pressed his hair out of his face and tugged on the collar of his wetsuit, feeling it hug his neck too tight and his lungs visibly expand through the material.

They'd practiced dry land just hours earlier. He should be fine. He should be fine, but the way his body was shutting down—

"Hey, hey," Jeongguk's hand was on the side of his head, worry clear in his eyes. "I'm here. You okay?"

"I-I don't know," Taehyung choked out, hands shaking as he reached for Jeongguk's arm to grip like a lifeline. "I'm sorry— I'm trying, I promise— I just saw flashbacks and—"

"You're okay," Jeongguk smiled, combing his drenched hair back and Taehyung saw how the biker's strands were curtaining his eyes, dripping like tears onto his skin. "You don't have to prove anything to anyone, Tae. Only do this if you want to."

"I do want to," he said quicker than he processed. "At least... I think I do."

"Float for a bit," Jeongguk suggested and he nodded, the tension in his chest easing away with the words. "Get used to the feeling and you can try on a later run."

"Okay," He whispered, releasing the hand on Jeongguk's arm. The biker ruffled his hair, making him laugh a little, feeling lighter as the cold of his skin warmed with the sun soaking out his drenched state.

Taehyung felt the tide push them back and Jeongguk looked out at the other surfers intently.

"Go," he told the younger. "I'll hang out here for a bit."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Gguk."

"Watch me shred some waves in the meantime, Saltine!"

Taehyung shrieked when Jeongguk splashed some water in his direction and used the distraction to swim away and under another passing wave. He yelled words at the biker that got lost in the crashing tide.

Taehyung became a spectator in the water for a few runs. He kept his position with moving arms and kept his body above the surface while watching the four manage to stand and surf each curling rise of water, disappearing in the flattened tunnel and emerging.

After a couple, he was staring at his own ankle strap, secure and tethered to the waxed board he was sitting upon.

His heart had calmed enough where he didn't think about it, the sound of it not drowning out the ocean anymore. His head felt clearer and each sway of the tides didn't make his lunch lurch into his throat.

He felt a lot more ready than before.

Taehyung saw Jeongguk cheering something with Jin as they bobbed out of the water with their boards and pulled themselves atop of them. Hoseok and Jimin were swimming over to Taehyung, lifted by some waves in their tread back to the younger.

"Did you see my frontside?" Jimin asked excitedly as they reached within earshot of him. "I didn't even have to think about it much and I got it perfectly!"

"I saw!" Taehyung nodded, smiling. "You looked so cool, Minie."

"Hyung got his carve timing perfect, too," Hoseok said as he high-fived Jimin. "You both made a lot of progress."

"They're only trying to catch up to you, Hobi." Taehyung shook his head with a laugh while the dancer denied the truth.

"Yeah, you're leaving us in the dust!" Jimin complained, punching the older's arm.

"I'm leaving all of you surfers in the dust!" Jeongguk remarked when he and Jin appeared, all of them sitting around in a circle.

"You fell like three out of five times, you man child." Jin corrected and Jeongguk glared at him. "See? Man child."

"You did great," Taehyung assured the annoyed biker, who maneuvered his board closer to him.

Better than me.

"How are you feeling?" Jeongguk asked him, running both hands through his hair to brush them back. Taehyung let his eyes wander at the sight, the shirt clinging to Jeongguk's skin and exposing the ink curling over his shoulder.

He shrugged. "Better."

"You want to give it a go?"

He contemplated for a long second, grip vicious on the sides of his board before he glanced over at his friends talking about a new trick to try.

He missed it so damn much. He wanted to be in that conversation. And not just put his input in— but act on it. Do the trick himself.

He wanted to give the surfing another go.

Jeongguk was there. His hyungs were there. Yoongi and Namjoon were on the shore and the weather was clear as day.

Everything that had gone wrong the first time was fixed.

Taehyung could do it.

Taehyung looked back at Jeongguk. "Let's try."

"Oh my god," Jeongguk grinned like he'd won the Olympics. "You serious?"

"The more you ask the more I'm gonna doubt it, dumbass."

"That's fair," Jeongguk grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "No drowning today."

"No drowning today." He repeated.

"Guys, Taehyung's joining on this one!" Jeongguk turned to the others and they all were showering him in encouragement and praise for pushing to do it.

It helped. It helped a lot because he wasn't alone this time.

In his head he was always alone in the stormy waters, shoved down without any help to get up.

Now there were so many people who just wanted him back on that board.

He missed it so bad.

Taehyung wanted to surf so bad.

And he knew he had to trust himself and how hard he'd worked with Jeongguk all summer to get to that point. If he had never wanted to surf again, he wouldn't have tried overcoming his fear for so many nights.

He would've stayed a sitting duck on the shore, watching the others without any intent to get back out there.

Yet, he hadn't. He had gone out of his way to ask Jeongguk to help him all those nights ago and that had to mean something. Taehyung had to get to the end.

"You look determined." Hoseok swept a hand out to graze his arm. "You got this, Taehyung. It's all in your head."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Don't think about the actual surfing much," the older reminded. "You've got it in your muscle memory."

Muscle memory that hadn't been used in forever and shut down when he panicked.

You can do it.

He had to try. He had that day and the next left at the beach. Taehyung didn't have very many chances left.

He took one more deep breath as a stagnant figure before following behind his friends. They pushed under the larger waves and dove under and out to the other side. When he broke through the surface that time, his head only felt a little fuzzy, mind clear of the flashing darkness paralleling the current view.

They pulled over the last wave before they were deep enough out to take a seat and wait it out. Hoseok and Jin were watching skillfully, eyes trained on the rise of each forming tide.

Taehyung was hardly breathing from anticipation. He was seconds away from attempting it.

From doing it.

Hoseok was right. He was determined. He had one shot of getting this right or he'd go tumbling into a waterfall of self doubt and Taehyung knew he had to at least try.

He owed himself that much.

A chance to earn his title as a surfer back.

Because what was a surfer who couldn't get on a board? Who couldn't catch a wave?

A guy just rotting away at the diner's register. Sweating in the heat while he stayed petrified of the sea.

Hoseok was pointing and yelling now, breaking him from his thoughts and Taehyung felt a tumbling sensation of initial hesitation grip at every nerve, movement hasty and panicked as he swam his board diagonal to the shore, breath snagging in his throat and making his gasp and spit out any water that slipped in.

The only thing he could really think was shit.

His vision was spotted with black, his hyungs ahead of him and Jeongguk somewhere behind.

He was surrounded by people he cared about, people who cared about him succeeding.

His spotted vision didn't clear, but he felt the moment that the wave they were catching began to grow around him, curling up and reaching for the birds in the sky.

Like the bird of his painting. The waves had reached for it and dragged it under, reaching up and up and then crashing back down to shove the flying creature to dark, eerily empty depths.

Water was splashing at his suit, pricking it like little needles. Taehyung somehow felt the cold sting on his skin through the suit, like it was cutting through the fabric and reaching him.

Maybe it was just in his head.

He needed to get up. He couldn't lay down forever or the board would curl up with the wave and send him crashing.

Get up. Come on, Taehyung, get up.

He could feel his time running short as his board shifted to slant at a worsening angle and Taehyung forced his body to move.

He forced himself to gather his senses, to focus on one thing at a time and regain himself, his vision and control of his body.

He tightened his core and jumped his legs up to crouch on the board, feet gripping steadily with the wax. Blinking to glance at his positioning for a second, Taehyung felt reassured by his ankle placement along the center of the board.

Get up.

He felt slightly dizzy, head buzzing with every muscle in his body screaming, paralyzed and wanting to be freed. The splashes of water were splattering drops across his skin, his eyes burning when some found their way in.

His board was tipping with the upward curl of the wave. He needed to get up to maneuver it.

Taehyung kept his center of balance and let his hand on the board leave, letting out a breath as he stood up sharply and attempted to find stable control of the board cutting through the wave.

He wobbled, just like his accident. Just like when he'd taught Jeongguk on dry land. He wobbled but suddenly his body kicked into gear over the power of his mind and his feet found proper parallel placement on the board, angle towards the shore and weight even to guide it.

He could hear nothing but the ocean roaring, screaming in his ears and leaving everything else in the world far from reach.

It was just him and the ocean and he wasn't going to get swallowed alive in an endless sea of darkness again.

Taehyung felt his vision clear, his body stay upright and float along the water like he was flying, angling the board with the unlocked muscle memory and cutting through the wave as it curled over him like an arch.

He gasped in joy, yelling and then losing his voice altogether in the rush of every bit of emotion catching up to him.

Emotions and feelings that had been bottled in thanks to his fear and limiting him to the constraints of its control.

But the waters were bright blue, cool on his warm skin, board firm and steady under his feet as his heart pounded in his chest and his head cleared like the day's sky. His nerves were tingling in excitement, body sparking under the wetsuit like the water was always meant to make him feel alive.

Everything about the run felt better than he remembered. Every part of surfing felt like the adrenaline rush he'd remembered but better, heightened and pouring into him like filling a glass of water.

He felt like that gold winged bird, renewed and reborn to fly again.

Taehyung began to crouch and prepare for the impact of the wave caving in on itself and crushing him under, ears muddled and hearing shrouded by the ocean.

It came pummeling down, but he was prepared and he felt capable.

Being underwater, suspended and nearly knocked out by the rush of it all, Taehyung struggled to find the surface right away.

But he saw the sunlight pouring through, he saw his board rising to float up on the other side and his ankle was attached to it. A guide or where to go to get out and breathe.

Breathe.

Obviously he couldn't, but it reminded Taehyung that he was in control.

Taehyung was swimming up, body unfreezing and legs kicking unlike the time they had over a month ago, stunned with his lungs compromised by ocean water. His arms were moving, shoveling himself up like the water was never a match for him. Tearing him down on purpose so he could be stronger. Learn more about himself and learn more from others.

He felt the pressure around him lighten with every rising stroke, his head feeling lighter as the water became more vibrant towards the surface.

And then he broke through.

He burst up and out of the water, hands thrown over his board to grip it like a lifeline and heaving for air as he let his head rest on the flat top of his surfboard, spent in the dying aftermath of his soaring achievement being achieved.

Taehyung laughed; he couldn't stop smiling as his eyes shut up to the sky and the next ride rolled over his body.

He'd done it.

Pulling himself out and onto his board felt like a fever dream, emotions racing through him in such complexity that he hardly made out his dazed swim back to the shore, aided by each wave that rolled under. Waves that he just accepted and used.

He slipped off the surfboard when he was close enough to the shore, gasping for some air again when his feet touched the sandy bottom and water reached all the way to his waist.

His head didn't exactly feel like it was spinning. It felt more like it was clicking into place. Like the repair of a machine corrected and everything was suddenly quiet inside. A torment impossible to see to the naked eye crushed into nothing but peace within.

Taehyung's feet were moving towards the dry sand, one hand pulling on the side of his board so it followed him towards the edge of the shore.

He didn't process much as his gaze wandered the shore in a haze, appreciating the beach house and the beige sand. The blue sparkling waters and the cooler toned skies, sun bearable and bright in the lowering state towards the horizon.

It was his strokes of blue and yellow across the drowning black and purple. Black of darkness and purple of fear. His blue of internal peace and the yellow of joy and accomplishment swiping intermixed across the chasm of destruction done to his mind.

Destruction that had been restored and rebalanced. Rebuilt and stronger than before.

"Taehyung?"

Namjoon. And Yoongi was standing next to him.

They were in the sand, maybe twelve feet from him at the tideline.

He stared at them like they were a discombobulated group of cells, jumbled up and somehow speaking. Taehyung couldn't muster words, like he'd forgotten all the words of the language and would fumble out gibberish if he tried.

His head was warm, hair dripping cool drops that made him shiver in contrast.

"Taehyung!" A voice behind him. Muffled. He couldn't make out who.

He realized his ears were ringing, hands trembling with the unyielding overwhelm that had taken over.

He turned just as fingers dug into his shoulder and Taehyung stared at the touch like he could feel it and was numb to it at the same time.

The face in front of him said something. It looked like Jimin's non-identical twin. The guy's mouth was moving, words a faint, uncomprehending spur lost in his memory.

He opened his mouth to say something, but his throat felt dry and he couldn't feel his tongue.

Taehyung felt like he wasn't even in his body anymore. He felt lost for a moment, like he didn't recognize any of the voices or the hands trying to speak to him, ears ringing and making his eyes squeeze shut to try and block out the painful sound coursing through his skull.

He had felt so good a moment ago and now he felt like panicking from how overwhelming every emotion of the entire missed summer was combined.

His body and mind froze when hands interlaced with his, guiding them around a familiar warmth and arms hugged him in an even more familiar warmth.

He recognized that touch.

He knew it. He would know that touch, the one that always saved him. He would know it anywhere. Even in the chaos of disaster that was his heart and head fighting.

The ringing in his ears faded, catching up on the chatter and sounds of nature. He could hear his breath and feel his shaking relax into a state comfortable enough to unclench and clench his fists. He could open his eyes, seeing skin tainted with dark ink, clad in soaked clothes that transferred both the cold and warmth of surfing's aftermath.

Taehyung buried his head into Jeongguk's neck, crying and holding onto him with the release of every emotion in a more controlled state.

"You did it," Jeongguk said repeatedly. "You did it, Tae. You did it and I'm so proud of you. You surfed."

He held Jeongguk tighter, hiding in his arms and finding it the only plausible thing to do as his head began to clear again to that peaceful state just moments ago. Hopefully to a peaceful state of mind more lasting.

Sobs racked through his chest, having it tremble against Jeongguk's and making both of them shake. His throat constricted and relaxed with every cry he let out, struggling to calm as he felt so full and empty all at once. Like every moment of that summer had built up to that moment and it was over. But it was over in the right way.

Jeongguk was shushing him, hand stroking and brushing back his hair, running up and down his spine. Just reminding him what it was like to stand and breathe again. How it felt to surf and live to tell the tale.

"You did it, Kim Taehyung." Jeongguk pulled away to hold his face and his hands bunched at the younger's drenched tee, crumpling the material and he stared at the biker's expression. Something so full of pride and a calmness he pushed himself to match.

He saw Jimin, Hoseok, and Jin past Jeongguk's head, standing and watching them in both awe and a rush of worry.

He must have frightened them surging on an unexpected reaction like that.

But he felt better. And he felt good. He felt so warm and complete inside. Because he'd surfed and he was getting his stolen life back.

He smiled at them, somehow making it recognizable with quivering lips, and Jin and Jimin were cheering, Hoseok clapping his hands together excitedly. Yoongi and Namjoon were to his side and he sent them a grateful look, too.

Then, he looked back at Jeongguk, finding that those eyes had never left him.

He smiled wider, choking out a endeared laugh because those arms never stopped grounding him into the present. Helping him overcome his fears and mishaps, helping him every time.

He nodded and pressed his forehead against Jeongguk's, tears falling freely, hot on his skin against the cool of the ocean's water, combating one other.

Jeongguk shook his head in amazement, hands steady on the sides of his face and Taehyung found his voice again.

There was no him. Without Jeongguk, he wouldn't be standing there or even touching the water again. It wasn't just his victory.

"We did it."

~•४•~

Their last night together on the beach.

It was already different than usual before it even began when Jeongguk had to do repair something with the gear chain on his motorcycle, before the drive home the next day, and said he'd have to figure it out in the morning with daylight.

So, Taehyung had taken the convertible and picked him up, driving them to the diner where they were just sitting in the parking lot and watching the ocean.

"I'm surprised you're even half awake." Jeongguk teased as Taehyung scoured his playlist for some good songs to queue with the speakers playing softly in the background.

He scoffed and didn't bother looking up. "Why are you surprised, Greased Lightning?"

"Thought you would have drained yourself enough to knock out from surfing today," Jeongguk hummed, drumming his fingers on the center console. "I remember when you said that on one of our first nights."

"Tiring myself out? Yeah, I still tend to do that." Taehyung shrugged. "Sleeping is hard."

"Sleeping sucks."

"Once again, you're not a robot."

"Doesn't it suck, though? You have to agree how annoying it is that we need sleep and then we can't do it. Like our bodies say— yes, I need this, but then they also say— no, I won't let you."

"They should make up their minds." Taehyung chuckled, holding out his phone. "You have any song preferences?"

"Dunno if you're gonna like my music."

"It can just be background noise," Taehyung shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Sick," Jeongguk took the device and started searching for his own songs to add to the queue. Taehyung was curious, actually, as to what the infamous Jeongguk listened to.

Probably something about sex. Taehyung would not be surprised.

"You know the cold hearted bad boy stereotype?" Taehyung asked out of the blue, speaking his thoughts aloud as he watched Jeongguk's fingers dance along the screen. "Like in Ten Things I Hate about You?"

"The stereotype like Patrick?"

"You've seen that movie?!"

"Just because I'm not a hopeless romantic who's obsessed with cheesy movies doesn't mean I live under a rock, Kim."

"Wow," Taehyung grinned. "Well, yes, Patrick."

"What about him?"

"You're a lot like him."

"I don't smoke." Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "Even getting high is not my thing. I'd rather not shove drugs into my system when my it's fucked up enough already."

"Not the smoking part, dumbass." Taehyung leaned back in his seat and looked up at the stars. They were bright and clear in the cloudless sky. "The part with him being misunderstood. Everyone believed the rumor that he set a guy on fire and spent time in prison. Just to escape and come back to fucking high school— not saying you have a rumor like that going around, but you know... you guys give off the same vibes."

"Can't tell if you're trying to insult or praise me."

"I'm saying it as a good thing! He's really sweet to Kat!"

"Is this you secretly saying that you want to go on a paintball date, Hyung?"

"No," he objected. "Paintball sounds painful as hell."

Jeongguk chuckled and traced the stitching around the console's edge. "Then, where are you going with this?"

"Nowhere. I just... I just thought of it." He shrugged.

Jeongguk raised a brow, lips pursed into a thin line. "Have you been overthinking again? I saw it in the diner yesterday."

"I wasn't—" he huffed, cheeks puffing out and Jeongguk laughed quietly, poking his arm and his cheeks deflated like they were balloons that got popped. "You brought up the whole distance thing, okay? Of course I was overthinking."

"Mhm, I thought it was about that," Jeongguk turned in his seat to face him. "Talk to me, Tae."

"I already had a conversation with my hyungs," he sighed, turning in his seat, too, and pulling his knees to his chest. Taehyung leaned his head sideways against the back of the seat and met Jeongguk's eyes. "I'm just going to miss everything. And you. Especially you, Jeongguk."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm always right there. A phone call away."

"That's a stupid line." He sniffed and Jeongguk shot him with a stupidly comical smile. "Don't use stupid lines."

"I can't help that my boyfriend is modern day Shakespeare. I have to use the cheesy lines."

"You're ruining Shakespeare for me," Taehyung let his head fall forward, shaking it. "Jeongguk I'm worried. I can't not be honest about that."

"Worried about...?" Jeongguk mumbled, hand stilling from his tracing motion on the leather seat. "Jimin said it's about trust and we trust each other more than enough."

"Jeongguk, you told me that you trust me to always be honest with you," he recalled and Jeongguk nodded. "And I'm worried because I won't be there for you to go to if you have a rough night or need an ear to listen."

"How do those two things relate at all?"

"Will you promise me to try opening up to Yoongi and Namjoon some more? Let them in enough where they can be there for you like I am." He licked his lips. "It's a two way street, Gguk. You don't want them to push into your privacy, but then you give them a reason to worry. It's frustrating for both sides."

"Damn, I know I said honest, but that's a lot of honesty—"

"Jeongguk, I'm serious."

"I know." Jeongguk suddenly caved. "I'll try. I know what you're trying to say and I agree, Taehyung."

His chest felt lighter than before. He knew that if Jeongguk agreed with it, he'd do what he could manage to try and bridge that gap.

"If we're talking about our homes, then you need to promise me something, too, Tae."

He nodded. That was fair. "Go on."

"You're gonna paint because you want to." Taehyung had not expected that and he sucked in a breath of air out of shock. "Not because you have something to prove to your parents, but because you love painting and you're damn good at it."

"Jeongguk, I—"

"Whatever reaction they give you for Perfectly Real doesn't matter. That project came straight out of your heart and they're not going to step on it." Jeongguk's brows were furrowed, eyes narrowed like he was angry, but Taehyung knew it wasn't like that.

What's the promise?

He wondered if he thought that or had said it aloud. Either way, it didn't really matter.

"Promise me you'll paint for you." Jeongguk licked his lips and chuckled softly, his expression relaxing from seconds ago. "It makes you really happy, so please don't ruin that."

Taehyung pressed the back of his hand to his lips, hiding the shakiness of his breath and then letting it fall. "I promise... You're— god, you're unbelievable. I thought you were going to say something stupid about not even making eye contact with other guys."

"Well, that, too." Jeongguk grinned. "I'll gouge their eyes out."

Taehyung teasingly blowed out a huff of air. "Damn, Jeon, sounds like a lot of blood to me." He smiled a little, going serious. "You, know I don't think Hwan was entirely right."

"About what?" The younger's voice suddenly shrunk small.

"About making you his only beacon of happiness. The source of his happiness." He rubbed at the fabric of his pants on the hill of his knee. "You should find lots of people and things that make you happy. So if you ever lose one, you had a chance to find another."

"You're never just empty, then." Jeongguk added.

"I almost lost surfing, but I still had my hyungs and painting. And then I became acquainted with you. And I found a lot more things that made me happy because of you."

The younger stared at him with words caught on his tongue, eyes endless and gaze deep. Taehyung watched him, partly amused and enamored all the same by how Jeongguk seemed to have a hobby for staring at him. He didn't mind it. Made him all fuzzy inside, in fact.

"And you ask why I use so many cheesy lines," Jeongguk grabbed his arm and Taehyung's confused thoughts were cut short as he was pulled over the center barrier between their seats.

"Gguk—"

"Hang on," the biker was reaching under his seat and pulling the lever, pushing the seat back a bit to give Taehyung more room to crowd his space.

He was tense as Jeongguk pulled him into his lap, the younger staring up at him with wrinkled doe eyes from smiling.

Taehyung fixed his position and slumped in closer to the biker, smiling like he was dreaming and kissing Jeongguk's cheek. The door and center console pinched at his legs, but he was glad the convertible's top was down so he didn't hit his head.

"I think a lot of things make me happy, too," Jeongguk agreed. "You're just one of the biggest things."

"No way," he chuckled, "I compete with your motorcycle?"

"And the leather jacket." Jeongguk whistled softly and Taehyung gasped, playing along while the biker rubbed his waist with a laugh.

Taehyung's smile eased up again. "Thanks for not giving up on the leather."

"Thanks for showing me it can be a part of me and not the whole thing." Jeongguk murmured, leaning back and Taehyung slid up a bit more so his waist met the torso before it. He put his hands on Jeongguk's chest and shifted a bit, freezing when the younger's breath hitched and a small sound got caught in his throat.

"Sorry." He kept himself still and bit back a laugh as Jeongguk stared at him incredulously. "What?"

Jeongguk expression morphed and a hand was on his jaw, cupping his face and guiding his body closer to the biker's so their lips could meet.

Taehyung slid his hands up to Jeongguk's shoulders and sighed into the younger's mouth, lips smooth and warm against his as they came again and again, deep and slow.

"I'm gonna miss you, Kim." He thought he heard Jeongguk whisper in between the quick breath they took before. It almost sounded real.

But he definitely heard the biker jokingly say, "My phone's about to become my lifeline," just moments after.

The wetness of Jeongguk's tongue running along his lip opened his mouth, but Taehyung pulled away when he registered the song playing in the background, holding the sides of Jeongguk's face and staring at him, amused.

"Chase Atlantic?"

"You know them?" Jeongguk seemed pleasantly surprised.

"Jimin likes this song." Taehyung laughed and kissed along Jeongguk's jaw, above the colored spots he'd left a couple days ago. They seemed fairly faded by then. "I knew it would be a song about sex, you pervert."

Jeongguk's eyes drooped to a half lidded state, weary and dazed such that they made Taehyung's whole face warm. His thumb raised to press into the pillow of his lips, stripping it of color and then released the skin so it pooled with blood again. "It's the perfect song for this."

"That's... not wrong." Taehyung admitted, kissing Jeongguk again, feeling a bit more breathless as their kiss remained slow and long. Like they were making the most of every second for intermixing bubbles of space.

Jeongguk's hands moved down to rest on his thighs, gripping firmly and comfortably on the tired and spent muscles that were worn after surfing. Taehyung's arms arched, too, as he rested them on the biker's shoulders and played with his hair.

The younger nudged him and he let his weight fall on Jeongguk, relaxing as much as possible and the soreness of his limbs faded without the need to use them. A sound filled the air, higher pitched than he expected and Taehyung couldn't pinpoint who it came from.

Jeongguk was pulling away after a bit, drawing out the last seconds of it with teeth tugging on his lip while he thumbed at his waistline. Their hot breaths mingled between them and Taehyung stroked at the hair at the back of his neck with a dazed hum. His eyes focused on the younger's mouth, parted and washed pale in the moonlight, and he dragged them up to meet Jeongguk's eyes instead.

The biker was already looking at him.

"I have something for you."

Taehyung's eyes widened in both surprise and confusion. "You what?"

"A gift." Jeongguk repeated, though Taehyung stared at him blankly. He was slapped on the side, giggling a little when Jeongguk glared at him. "Stop looking at me like I'm speaking a foreign language, dumbass."

"Well, I didn't think you were the type to get people gifts."

"I'm... not." Jeongguk frowned. "Is that bad? Shit, what if you hate it— I didn't think about that."

"Hey," Taehyung shook his head and held his face, cooing softly at the younger's predicament. "I won't hate it. The fact that you thought of me when you put something together is adorable."

"Never mind, this is bad," Jeongguk sunk in the seat and Taehyung took some of his weight off the biker. "I don't wanna be adorable."

"Too bad, you already are." Taehyung grinned at the disgust on Jeongguk's face. "Let me see this gift."

"Let's go on a walk." Jeongguk suddenly unplugged the older's phone and Taehyung protested to no avail as the door was pushed open and they were stumbling out. His elbow hit the door on the way out. "I'll give it to you on the walk."

"Starting to think this gift doesn't actually exist and you're just being an ass getting me excited." He reached back over the closed side door to grab the keys and then stood upright next to Jeongguk. He rubbed at an ache in his elbow, one that grew in such a haste.

"You okay?"

"No, Greased Lightning," Taehyung grumbled. "Your stupid move made me bang my elbow."

"Aw, baby, want me to kiss it better?"

"Like hell I want you to use that dumb logic and claim my freaking elbow, too."

Hands caged him in to the side of the car, braced on the frame of the door and Taehyung's heart jumped in his chest as his legs hit metal with a leather wall pressing into his frontside.

His hands had shot up to grab Jeongguk's collar, swallowing the strangled sound in his throat as Jeongguk's stared at him with that flint in his eyes— eyes just inches apart and he blinked once or twice like the pressure sandwiching him on both sides wasn't as real as it felt.

"I already have all of you, Kim."

His hands smoothed down Jeongguk's chest, relieved as his forehead pressed against the skin just between the younger's collarbones.

"Possessive dumbass." His laugh was muffled in it buried state, breath ragged as he caught up with the shock.

"I'm serious," Jeongguk's hands moved to wrap around him, warmth prickling into his back from the span of the ringed fingers. "I'll make sure someone's life is a living hell if they try and touch you like I do. Or if they even think about it."

"Calm down, big boy." Taehyung looked up at him with a stupid grin on his face. "No one's going to be doing anything to me."

"Yeah, because I'll just have Yoongi beat them up."

"Damn, would he do that? Help me?"

"An open invitation and approval from me to destroy someone's existence? Oh, he wouldn't even hesitate." Jeongguk's gaze was level with his, enough space between them such that he could see all of Jeongguk's face and the line of buildings behind him parallel to the shore.

"Can't believe I'm even entertaining this." He rolled his eyes, squirming out of Jeongguk's hold and yelping when he was whipped around right back into it. "Gguk, what is your problem—"

"Taehyung, I don't care how far I am, you better tell me if anyone try's to fuck things up for you." Jeongguk shook his head.

"I appreciate it, Jeongguk, and I will if I need to, okay?" He couldn't help but chuckle a little. "I now see how the future distance is worrying you."

"I can't be worried about you?"

"You need to trust me and my ability to destroy some guy's future chance of children," He pulled out of Jeongguk's arms when he noticed they'd slackened enough. "And we really need to go on that walk to cool down, you hot mess."

"I am hot." Jeongguk scoffed as Taehyung nudged him towards the sand, they're steps but a stroll past the parking lot's bush lining. They paused to slip off their shoes and leave them at the edge of the sand. "Not a mess."

"You are definitely both, my sweet, precious biker."

"Do not call me that."

"My caring sweetheart?"

"Kim Taehyung."

"My gold-winged bird?"

"God, I hate you, Kim."

"Oh, I hate you plenty more, my cute Ggukie."

"I'm breaking up with you."

"Aw, man. Jeon, we lasted less than a week!"

"Longest relationship you'll ever score,
little annoying shithead."

"How do you know I'm little?"

"Did Kim Taehyung just make a dick joke?" He swore Jeongguk almost tripped in the sand from excitement.

Taehyung kept his gaze straight ahead at the ocean, cheeks burning like a wildfire had sparked from his words. "I'm just learning to speak your language, Mr.Thinks-With-His-Dick."

"If my brain is in my dick," Jeongguk whispered, like his words were a secret— too scarring for their poor friend of the ocean to hear. "Then, you should blow my mind, Kim."

"Oh, hell no," he cringed. "Not that lameass line. I swear I've seen that pick up line like fifty times on the internet!"

"And why were you searching pick up lines, hm?"

"Because I was a lonely art nerd in high school who was sick of seeing gross couples in the halls and made myself feel better by searching up the shitty pick up line that probably got them together." His steps towards the tide line halted, Jeongguk turning to face him, and Taehyung blinked at the biker. "How the hell did I end up with you?"

"Well, ouch."

"No, I mean— not like that— more like... this doesn't happen in real life, Jeongguk. It's impossible— you— you wouldn't even know I existed if we went to the same high school. Not to mention college—"

"If you want me to breakup with you to maintain world peace and order, just say so, Saltine. I didn't realize our relationship was tethered to the fucking rule book of Relationships 101."

He turned his head to look at Jeongguk.

And then they just started laughing.

Taehyung put a hand on his arm and stumbled a little as Jeongguk doubled over and clutched his stomach.

"You— you are so stupid, Tae." Jeongguk managed to get out, one hand leaving his stomach to grab Taehyung's arm, too.

"You're ridiculous— Relationship 101 rule book? Like— what?"

Jeongguk's laughter died to a faint chuckle first, his eyes washing over Taehyung's giddy state in adoration before hiding the sudden run of emotion. He grinned instead and Taehyung felt him jerk his arm around. "Our relationship is impossible, huh?"

"Jeongguk, in my list of superior pairings for the hopeless romantic's heart— yes. We should have never even considered one another."

"Well, good thing you're severely flawed and that list is ass. And not ass in the good way."

"Wow. How poetic." Taehyung rolled his eyes. "And you really aren't allowed to say jack shit when your list of superior pairings for the douchebag of a biker's heart is nonexistent. The only pairings you made were of your dick and someone's hole. Or the other way around— I don't even know."

Jeongguk raised a brow at him. "I'm not even going to comment on that last part."

"Why not?"

"You can find out my preferences some other time."

"I think you're pretending to have even an ounce of self restraint, Greased Lightning."

"Are you suggesting I just tackle you and show you my sexual preferences here in the sand? No lube or condoms? Out in the open? Damn, I thought you were romantic, Kim. That doesn't sound vanilla at all—"

"Okay! That's enough— thank you very much for making me lose my will to live!"

Jeongguk snickered, hand raising to dance fingers along his jaw. The touch made him shiver, more like a ticklish sensation that was comfortable to handle. Taehyung's playful rage dissipated and he caught his breath as Jeongguk stepped closer to him.

"You ready for that walk?" The biker asked him, definitely teasing him for veering their original plans so far.

Taehyung leaned into the touch on his cold skin. "Yeah, I want to see if this gift is real."

"Like our entire relationship, apparently?" Jeongguk snorted.

"Shut up and walk along the shore with me, Jeon."

"Aye, aye, Captain Kim!" Jeongguk turned so they both faced the direction to head away from the rest of the beach and cross the diner's shore. Taehyung felt Jeongguk's breath brush his ear as he leaned down, chuckling softly. "So demanding— how sexy of you."

He shoved the younger away; the laugh that burst aloud from Jeongguk's lips made him smile regardless and he eventually just laughed along.

"I'll be surprised if this gift is even wholesome." Taehyung shook his head, arm brushing Jeongguk's with every swing.

It was nice. The warmth even when they didn't really touch. It reminded him of how they started. Cold unless Jeongguk's hands were on him— until he could feel warm just from his presence.

"It's wholesome. Cringiest shit I've ever thought up."

"No way."

"Yes, unfortunately. Isn't that terrible?"

"Living nightmare, honestly, Gguk." Taehyung bit back a stupidly wide smile and stared at the water they walked parallel with. "You know when we weren't talking..."

"How could I forget?" The low, raspy voice joked and he elbowed Jeongguk's arm.

"You said you remember everything I've said to you."

"Oh, yeah. Still stands, Saltine."

"Really," he let his wide, boxy smile show on display. "Was that a conscious effort thing or did you just subconsciously remember?"

"I... why does that matter?"

"I'm just curious," he pouted and Jeongguk's suspicious expression deepened. "Seriously! I was just wondering, Greased Lightning. Your memory is crazy."

"I guess it was consciously at the beginning— trying to figure you out and understand everything you did." Jeongguk shrugged. "Then... I just did it without realizing. I remembered small things about you and surprised myself sometime."

Taehyung hugged himself, heart beating a little faster and he wondered if it was unhealthy for it to speed up so often around Jeongguk. Wouldn't he die faster if it was just constantly at a higher rate? Well, he figured there was no way to fix that and he was already living longer than he thought he was going to a month ago.

"You're quiet." Jeongguk stopped walking. Taehyung halted, too, and turned to face him. "What's on your mind?"

"You." He chuckled, seeing the quirk of Jeongguk's lip.

"I love it when you say that." He chuckled, stepping closer and Taehyung let out a small breath when he could feel the body warmth radiate off the younger. "What about me?"

"And feed your never ending ego? I don't think so." Taehyung mocked. "Self-conceited asshole."

"I love that even more." Jeongguk hummed. He was suddenly reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. Taehyung's eyes shot wide.

"What the—"

"The gift." He clarified, clearing his throat and Taehyung gaped at Jeongguk as fiddled with the box. "It's very much real."

"I can see that." Taehyung whispered, hands numb at his sides. "It's a box."

"It's a small box." Jeongguk repeated.

"And something's inside?"

"Something's inside."

"Oh my— what even made you get anything for me, Gguk?" His voice couldn't find an ounce of volume over his shocked whisper.

Taehyung knew Jeongguk could be pranking him and inside the small box could just be a condom (or something as funny as that), but somehow he knew the small fiddling action Jeongguk's fingers had while holding it meant more.

Jeongguk cleared his throat. "I remember everything you've said, Tae. Really. And maybe it's because I'm just observant, but it's been a bit painful seeing how quiet and sad you get every time leaving comes up."

"You're really giving a speech before this."

"Okay, fuck you." The younger's ears flushed red, one hand rising to cover a side. Taehyung grinned. "I mean it! I noticed it at the diner especially and then you had a conversation with your hyungs... it's not just about being protective when I say to keep me updated. I just want to know what's going on with you when I can't observe it myself."

"I know," his wide grin relaxed into a quieter smile. "And it makes me really happy that you care so much."

"It sucks when you say stuff like that." Jeongguk huffed and he laughed breathlessly. "Like you didn't expect me to."

"Can you blame me?"

"Well, no."

"Exactly."

"Shut up, Kim."

"Oh, how the tables turn." He waved a hand. "Continue, my kind Romeo."

"That was basically it." Jeongguk rolled his eyes and Taehyung pouted to annoy him, the younger scowling.

Jeongguk was gripping the box, then smiling gently, and Taehyung noticed the change all too well. Before, he would notice Jeongguk's voice dropping with the same tinge of annoyance or aggression lining the quiet— such that it was quieter, but not gentle.

And in more recent times, he noticed how that lining blurred away and gave way to quiet and gentle. His gentler smiles and even gentler tone of voice. Where his words were starting to mimic the care of actions.

Jeongguk was trying to be better with his carelessness and Taehyung was grateful because it wasn't just for them, but for the biker himself, too.

"So, um," Jeongguk scratched the back of his head. "I don't know how to go about this."

"Do you want me to close my eyes?" He teased, a little giddy by Jeongguk's tenseness relaxing in relief. "Okay, I'll do that."

He shut his eyes, the black enveloping his vision and he listened to Jeongguk mumble something to himself under his breath.

Do something, Taehyung.

Joke. He could joke. Jeongguk would ease up if he did.

"You know what my hopeless romantic heart is telling me?" He peeked an eye open.

"What is it telling you?" Jeongguk deadpanned, hands hidden behind his back— with the small box.

"That you're about to fucking propose." Taehyung laughed. "I'd literally cry in the worst way possible. Please don't propose."

Jeongguk groaned, showing his misery to the thought for his young, prime age of eighteen. "The only reason I'd be getting on a knee is to suck your dick, Tae, so I can assure you there's no ring."

"Can't believe I'm relieved to hear that."

It worked.

Jeongguk looked more sure of himself.

"Yeah, tell your hopeless romantic heart to shut the hell up."

"Okay, on it." He closed his eyes again and stood still, the black of his view peaceful as he heard the heightened sounds in his ears— the tide rolling up and back, a certain leather jacket swishing with each movement.

He heard something clink together. Metal? Plastic? He tried not to decipher it to fulfill the surprise, but Taehyung couldn't stop himself.

He inhaled sharply when the light whisper of a thin chain brushed his neck. Then, he felt some type of pendant— heavier— fall along a center line between his collarbones.

Leather grazed his waist. He could feel Jeongguk's breath on his cheek. The younger was standing very close.

Jeongguk had stood close plenty of times. Much closer than he was currently standing, in fact. But somehow this time felt different. Taehyung felt color bloom across his cheeks, painting his neck and face in some dust of pink.

The younger was putting a necklace on him.

It felt so... intimate to Taehyung. Something he genuinely never even thought about happening to him with Jeongguk, but it made his heart skip a beat and fingers tingle in awe.

He couldn't breath. Taehyung held his breath as the fingers and chain circled his neck and he felt Jeongguk's touch along his nape, working with the clasp.

"Stupid clasp— it won't—" the younger was muttering spitefully and Taehyung couldn't help but rush out a laugh with the hefty amount of air lodged in his throat.

"Hold on," he whispered, eyes still dutifully closed as he trickily maneuvered around to turn and face away from the younger. Jeongguk was mumbling a small, dumbfounded thank you against the back of his head as his fingers worked with the chain again.

Those cold fingers whisking across his neck in small dusts of touches made a tingle shoot down his spine. He felt the moment Jeongguk got the clasp attached right, fingers stilling in a moment of surprise and cute achievement before the chain was fixed into the right position and let go entirely.

Taehyung inhaled sharply when the brief moment of silence was followed by lips pressing against both the clasp and his skin, just below the ends of his hair and making his entire body thrum.

The hands that had attached the necklace were wrapping around his chest, pulling him into the leather chest and Taehyung leaned into the wall behind him. Jeongguk's head was next to his, nose grazing his ear and those same lips kissed the skin underneath his lobe.

"Turn around," Jeongguk murmured and Taehyung felt more than a little dazed as his torso twisted first and the rest followed to face Jeongguk again. "Your eyes are still closed?"

He could feel Jeongguk pull away enough where he had room to move. The hands around him fell to hold his forearms instead.

"Can I open them now?"

"Asking for permission?"

"Don't ruin it, Jeon."

The biker chuckled and the sound quickly died as Taehyung opened his eyes and tilted his head down while a hand rose to hold the pedant out so he could look at it clearly.

His breath came out shaky, eyes disbelieving as his fingers gently held the pieces up.

Two pendants.

One was a small bird, wings spread and mid flight.

The other was a small bottle. Like the typical letter in a bottle cliche, but he genuinely saw something inside. A piece of paper folded tiny to fit inside and also hide something else within.

Oh, it was so, so wholesome and even more thoughtful.

"The original necklace was just the bottle— I swear social medias stalk you because I had seen an ad for a bottle necklace gift and they had put something memorable inside, so I thought I'd do that, too."

"What's inside this one?" His voice was almost inaudible.

"Secret," Jeongguk licked his lips, moistness glistening under the moon. "Open it when you miss me so much, it's unbearable."

So thoughtful and Taehyung felt the emotions muddle together to hit him like a truck.

"Also, I saw that bird pendant separately and it was too good to skip on so I just combined both." Jeongguk's eyes diverted nervously. "I hope you like it— I noticed you wear bracelets already and I figured you didn't wear rings so they don't get paint all over them so I thought a necklace would be nice—"

Taehyung threw his arms around Jeongguk and cut off his spur of an explanation. The biker yelped out a small laugh and hugged him back, arms tight around him in a way that made Taehyung feel like he was sinking into a warm pool of safety. Nothing could happen to him with Jeongguk holding him like that.

Nothing could happen with him holding Jeongguk the way he did. Never wanting to let go.

"God," Taehyung managed to choke out, eyes watering before he could help himself and burying his face into the column of skin that was Jeongguk's neck. "It's— Jeongguk, it's so perfect— you really outdid anything I imagined— what the hell, Gguk—"

That mouth smiled into his hair, he felt it against his head and he felt the necklace burn it's place into his chest, warm and there, present like Jeongguk himself.

"You're crying." The younger said, humming and clearly amused.

"N-No shit." He slapped at the leather chest. "I hate you— I hate you so goddamn much. How the hell— how am I supposed to leave tomorrow? I couldn't leave already and you just made it harder—"

"Shh," Jeongguk's laugh made his heart skip a beat, stumbling down the steps into his stomach like an unsteady swoop hearing the sound. "We're gonna be just fine."

"Speak for— for yourself," Taehyung pulled away to swipe his eyes dry and glare at him. Useless, really, when the wiped tears were replaced in seconds. "I'm so mad at you! You can't do sweet things like— like this and expect me to be fine with it! Go back to making me want to hurl mango smoothies at you so I don't—"

"Never, Hyung," Jeongguk's hands were prying his away from rubbing at his stinging face. The colder ringed fingers of the younger's were taking their place and swiping below his waterline to catch and dismiss any more falling tears. "I don't want to change a thing."

And when he met those endless eyes, he struggled to breath all over again.

Taehyung sniffed and felt his chest struggle to inhale properly, clenching in pain from the lack of easy breathing and it was like he was drowning again. His blurring vision and pained chest, the burning along his neck and in his lungs.

He was drowning all over again. In those leather arms. In that warmth that made his common sense fizzle away with the fleeting fears and crushed worries.

The drowning that felt so right and good.

The drowning that he didn't want to be saved from.

❧ ❧ ❧

i also have a bottle necklace B)

ALSO IRL TAE POSTING HIM PAINTING ON HIS IG STORY?? HELLO?? B&B TAE JUST CAME TO LIFE??

one more chap, two epilogues, and then bonus jk pov chapter :D
(and if i finish this book exactly three years from its birth?????? catch me SOBBING)

ily guys and happy holidays!! ♡

✵ NEETO ✵