❧ The Best Risk ❧

Taehyung hadn't expected Jeongguk to reach for his hand and twine their fingers together like vines wrapping around one another. He hadn't expected it and audibly gasped when it happened.

Jeongguk sucked in a sharp breath, his whole body tensing when Taehyung's fingers curled around his. The surfer gazed over him in initial worry, and then amazement.

He began to smile, biting his lip to hold it back, but he couldn't help the way it shone because Jeongguk was holding his hand.

Every bit of pain in him, in Jeongguk, seemed to wash away for a few moments. He felt so light and airy, feeling the ridges of Jeongguk's fingers against his own. He could feel the dips of Jeongguk's palm fit where his palm hilled. They fit like a lock and key, so perfectly together and Jeongguk breathed out the happiest curse Taehyung had ever heard in his life.

He laughed excitedly and squeezed the younger's hand, pulling on the bond to hug both hands close to his chest.

"Jeongguk," he whispered, beaming like a brighter source of light than the moon overhead. "Oh my god. What— How does it feel?"

Jeongguk's waterline was shimmery, shiny with the building wetness along the ridge of his eyes and Taehyung's smile softened as the emotions built up in the younger. Jeongguk's lips trembled as he slowly smiled, stun still evident in his hesitant shift like he'd ruin it all with the wrong move.

He leaned forward into Taehyung's chest again, hiding his face there for a moment while resting his forehead on their laced fingers. Taehyung tucked his chin over the biker's skull, smiling at the leather on his back as Jeongguk took his time answering.

"So good— feels so good, Hyung." Jeongguk whispered and Taehyung's heart stuttered hearing Jeongguk's use of hyung. Taehyung had always seen it as a measure of respect to one's closeness, but he hadn't cared whether or not Jeongguk used it. He hadn't expected the younger to, but it made his chest swell that Jeongguk was willing to give Taehyung that respect he'd never needed. "Your hand is so warm and— and it fits so nice—"

"Shh," he hushed when Jeongguk's voice seemed to strain, thumb moving along the back of Jeongguk's hand, feeling over the bumps of his veins and peaks of his knuckles, Jeongguk's rings slipped into the touch, a stark cool against the otherwise warm hand. "I'm glad, Gguk."

He used his free hand to rub fingers up and down Jeongguk's spine, tuning along leather and liking the smooth touch under both his hands.

"I think your hands my favorite to hold." He said, soft like it was a secret just for them. "Feels nicer than everyone else's."

"Good." Jeongguk mumbled against his chest and Taehyung let out a quiet laugh.

"You know, I wasn't expecting you to do that." Taehyung continued. "But, damn, am I so happy you did. You keep amazing me tonight."

Jeongguk didn't say anything, but the surfer could feel the joyful squeeze of his hand, the silent sign of gratitude from the younger.

"How does it feel to finally let it out?"

"Really, really good," Jeongguk lifted his head, shifting a bit away so they could look at one another, "but that was really fucking exhausting."

Taehyung nodded at that, smiling at his honesty and lightheartedness alike. "I can tell you were thinking a lot in that silence, Gguk. Do you want to say any of it aloud?"

"Not... not yet. I don't think I can yet." The younger huffed apologetically, but Taehyung let him be. Jeongguk usually spoke his mind, but it was good for him to think about it for himself, too. "Just know it's better than you think."

"That's relieving." The surfer pulled him close again, tugging on their interlaced hands that had yet to even question letting go. Not that Taehyung thought he was ready to let go of just yet. Nor was he planning on letting go first. "You're very huggable, Ggukie."

"Ew." The biker grumbled. "Ggukie?"

"It's cute, okay? Leave me alone." Taehyung pouted, smiling the next second with discretion on his side as their faces were hidden from one another in the hug. Little did he know of the small smile on Jeongguk's lips despite such a negative response to the nickname.

The younger suddenly tensed in his arms, retracting from the hug to look at him once more. "Hey, Tae?"

He frowned, nodding for Jeongguk to continue with the stroke of his thumb over the dips between the other's knuckles. "Hm?"

"Do you have... like any questions? I don't know how much of what I said was actually understandable."

Taehyung genuinely thought back on it because Jeongguk was tying up any loose threads in his brain. If he was going to tell someone, he was going to tell it right.

"Why didn't you ever introduce Hwan to Yoongi and Namjoon?"

Jeongguk's lips parted, almost surprised that something inexplicit was being asked about. Taehyung wondered if Jeongguk had even thought about that much himself.

"I guess... I don't know." Jeongguk was quick to turn his words around and Taehyung's exhaled slowly.

"You can tell me, Jeongguk. I'll hear you out. You know I will."

"I know, I know, I just—" the biker's voice cracked and Taehyung sucked that breath of air back in rather quickly. "I was stupid."

"Tell me," he said gently, using his free hand to pat Jeongguk's knee. "You trust me, don't you?"

"That's not— Taehyung, I don't need a reminder of that; that's not what this is about. I was selfish and did it for myself."

"Okay, explain that."

"He— well, I was selfish because I didn't want to connect both sides. Yoongi and Namjoon would probably like Hwan and— goddammit," Jeongguk's voice shriveled up. "I was so stupid and selfish back then, Tae."

"Hey, tell me about why you did it for yourself."

"That? Hwan reminded me of myself when I was thirteen. I wanted to be his Yoongi and Namjoon, but I wasn't— I didn't do as well as they did with me and it ruined things for Hwan— I should have introduced them, Tae. Fuck, maybe this would all be different—"

"Jeongguk," Taehyung said firmly. "You have to realize you can't predict what ifs, okay? Yoongi was almost five years older than Hwan, so maybe they wouldn't have ever gotten along. You guys were much closer in age to one another and he was there to see what happened to you."

"So what?"

"We both know Yoongi likes seeing things with his own eyes. As much as he trusts you, he probably wouldn't trust Hwan without being there himself." Taehyung's words were sympathetic. "You can't tell how they would have liked taking in someone else— and you mentioned that Hwan wasn't the type to like motorcycles and didn't care for leather jackets... so maybe he wouldn't have cared for Yoongi and Namjoon's company either."

Jeongguk was quiet for a few, fleeting moments, knees drawing up to his chest and he rested their connected hands on the hill of his knees. Stared at them. Longingly, almost.

"He would have been turning seventeen this year. The age I was when we met," he murmured, voice dusty like he was brushing off age on some old thoughts. "He— he'd probably be acing exams and looking into colleges already— he had such a bright future, Tae."

"You can't control what he chose to do." Taehyung could tell Jeongguk was doing everything to keep it together. He wondered what that form of glue was. Staying at the front of his mind, assuring him things were okay. What was Jeongguk telling himself to convince his head that things were going to be okay? "And... he's not really gone. You think about him everyday. Hell, you told me you never think about the future in order to live everyday for the both of you."

Jeongguk's eyes flicked past their hands to meet his.

"He's not gone, Jeongguk. I know this is probably going to sound superficial to you, but he's still with you. Inside. Yeah, maybe you can't talk to him again, but you see him in the world around you. You told me I reminded you of him. I said the same words as him— which I don't know how that happened, but you see him in your good moments, Jeongguk. He's not really gone."

"That does sound a little superficial." Jeongguk pursed his lips, trying to hide the small smile gracing them. "And for the record, I see you in good things, too. Is that bad? That it's not just him now?"

"Not if you don't want it to be a bad thing." Taehyung's heart warmed, regardless, because Jeongguk associated him with happiness. "I'm glad I make you happy, Jeongguk. You make me happy, too."

"Yeah, it's not a bad thing." Jeongguk breathed out, decisive in seconds and Taehyung's lips widened to a boxy smile, tipping his head forward to kiss their hands. "Not bad at all."

"Shut up," he chuckled, trying to switch the conversation quickly. "Hey, another question."

"Mhm?"

"Why was Yoongi living on his own? You mentioned Namjoon's backstory, but... I mean, I don't want to assume anything."

"Yoongi was in the foster system, Taehyung." Jeongguk said straightforwardly, to which Taehyung's whole body stilled. "And his foster family was shit. Borderline abusive in the way they treated him and they just wanted the money. No one seemed to like him, too. Which made matters worse."

"Oh."

"Yeah, he made a deal with them to leave and only come back for times of authority's visits so they could keep up this scheme. He hated it there and they didn't care as long as he was going to school and still under their care in the books. Once he was eighteen— he disappeared from the world in seconds. Completely disconnected."

"So... he wasn't technically supposed to be on his own."

"You've met him. He's always liked being on his own."

"He likes you and Namjoon." Taehyung felt his one hand get clammy and wondered if that clamminess was gross between their holding ones. "He— he said you guys were all he had that day we argued when they came looking for you. I didn't realize... he really only had you guys. Physically and mentally."

"He'll do everything to hold onto us, too. It's— I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, now, but he's been good to us, Tae. It's not like he's terrible to me. And he stepped over the line, yeah, but I also had the chance to choose to be around him and Namjoon growing up. They would have let me leave whenever I wanted."

Taehyung frowned. "What are you saying?"

"Yoongi's fucking terrified of me leaving him." Jeongguk's voice shook. "He's been good to me and I'm going to let him lose someone he cares about just like I lost someone? Fuck, Taehyung—"

"Don't say that. Well, I've been telling you that you guys need to talk, but you have to realize you were looking out for yourself, too. You needed some space. And space doesn't mean you have to put a wedge between you guys forever." Taehyung ran a finger along Jeongguk's hairline, brushing over the hairs with gentleness. "It's okay. You know he's ready to talk whenever you are. Just do what feels right. Both of you guys were just doing what felt right for you at the time and those things clashed. Yoongi was angry that I was taking you away from him and... and that's fair."

"Don't justify him hurting you, Tae." Jeongguk shook his head. "I'll talk to him. And I'll make sure he apologizes—"

"No, Jeongguk. Talk to him for yourself, not for me. I don't really care much anymore, anyway. Not if you're okay wherever you're at." Taehyung's lip quirked upward. "Just talk to him when it's right for you. You've done more than enough for me."

"I think I'll head back there tomorrow." Jeongguk decided. "You should kick me out so I don't get cold feet."

"Kick you out? Shit, yeah, I'd love to." Taehyung snorted, tension releasing in the lighthearted turn of the conversation. "No cold feet for you."

"My feet are very cold, actually."

"Okay, time to head inside, then." The surfer rolled his eyes, standing and pulling Jeongguk up, just to earn a slap on his side as the younger followed him in. "You know, the night we decided to start over?"

"What about it?"

"You didn't return my handshake. I thought you were just being an ass, but... I'm glad I know the real reason now, Jeongguk." He looked over at the younger, nudging his shoulder when Jeongguk nodded with the smallest of smiles.

"I was probably being an ass, too. Don't give me that much credit." The biker joked and he shook his head.

Just as he was about to step through the doorway, Jeongguk tugged on his hand.

"Hey, Taehyung?" The younger stared down at their intertwined hands and then up to meet Taehyung's eyes. "Thank you."

It was filled with genuine warmth and Taehyung pulled his hand so Jeongguk stumbled forward and he could hug the biker quickly.

"Anytime, Jeongguk."

It was nice to have a hold on each other's hand, and Taehyung really thought it was one of the best hands he'd ever held.

~•४•~

The older was hardly kicking him out. Helping him out was the better way to put it.

Taehyung had asked him if he was sure about going so many times, Jeongguk wondered if he wanted the biker to stay back. He was holding Jeongguk's jacket safe and watching him put it on, fixing the collar while they stood in the entryway of the house.

Jeongguk smiled at the focused expression Taehyung's face as he carefully pulled away the earring and jacket that had caught onto one another. He liked Taehyung being that close, where he could feel his body warmth and hands brushing his neck. "I'm going to be fine, Tae. You're stressing enough for the both of us, right now."

"I'm not stressing! This earring is being annoying."

"I thought you liked them. You've played with the dangly ones before."

"I do not." The prickling of color across Taehyung's face made his heart squeeze in his chest. "You're just seeing things."

"M'kay, Saltine. Whatever you say."

Taehyung stepped away from him when the caught earring was safely away from the leather's thread lining. Jeongguk was grabbing his bike keys from his pocket as he opened the front door, Taehyung close behind to wish him off.

I'm not going to war, Kim. He joked to himself, though he was endeared by the steps Taehyung took to make sure he was okay.

"Okay, you're going to do great, and if not, you're an idiot." Taehyung encouraged and Jeongguk swore his heart fell for the insult. "Drive safe."

He pulled his helmet on and flicked the visor up. "Yup."

Taehyung smiled, tackling him with a hug that almost pushed Jeongguk off his motorcycle. "M'proud of you, Jeongguk."

"Wait until I've actually done it." He said, but the words made him feel more settled inside, tucking his chin over Taehyung's shoulder and feeling the surfer bump his head against the helmet's plastic three times.

"Okay, bye. Go. Use your brain and be nice." Taehyung pushed him away, hand reaching out to slide his tinted visor down— midday sun out in between the two storms. Jeongguk laughed and started his engine, curving around the driveway and speeding off moments later.

Getting there was the easy part, shutting of the engine in the apartment complex's lot and physically getting off the bike was the hard part.

Sitting there, idle on his motorcycle, with calculating eyes and a wary gaze, someone would probably assume Jeongguk was stalking someone.

He rolled his eyes at the thought and forced himself up the stairs with a heavy breath leaving his lips.

What was he even supposed to say?

"Hey, Yoongi, it's been a while!" Jeongguk mocked, scoffing in offense that he even attempted such a phrase and tone. "Fucking dick couldn't have just confronted me instead of spying."

His feet slowed just three steps from their flat's landing, lingering there like the next step would seal the deal for what he was doing.

Jeongguk had already told himself he'd done too much thinking, and Yoongi and Namjoon were a part of it. He knew Yoongi was attached to them like Cerberus and his three heads. Exactly like Cerberus, ruthless and cold like his companion Hades.

And he knew how Yoongi would lose it losing Jeongguk on top of everyone else he'd lost.

Or rather never had.

Part of him knew he'd never forgive himself for leaving Yoongi like that, nor would he personally be okay without someone so strong in his life just suddenly gone. It really went both ways.

Cutting his best friends off wasn't in his list of options anymore and he was trying to do the next best thing. He just hoped it went somewhere knowing how neither Yoongi or Namjoon cared much for these honest conversations.

His feet dragged on the doormat, like they were gross and muddy even in the sunlight of the day. Then, he was sifting through the potted plant at the foot of the door and brushing off a metal key, flashing in the peeking sunlight as he slotted it into the hole and twisted the mechanics of the lock until they clicked.

He let a breath out. His last one as the only leather-clad in the room.

Tossing the key back into the pot and covering it, Jeongguk was quick to step inside and shut the door behind him, leaning on the slab of wood while kicking his shoes off.

He had been so deep in his head that he hadn't realized they'd been sitting in the living room, eyes wide and jaws fallen, watching him appear in the doorway.

"Jeongguk?" Namjoon moved first, curving around the couch and coming to stand in front of him, broad chest wider than Jeongguk's, his leverage of an inch or two making him glance up for a second. And then hands were on his elbows, pulling him close and into a hug.

Jeongguk stiffened in those big arms, stronger and more caring than he'd ever been his whole life. His hands shook, not knowing what to do for a moment when he was hit with the novel feeling of worry and relief from his hyung.

Slowly, but ever so surely, was his hands sliding over the leather back and returning the hug, pressing his face in Namjoon's shoulder and letting his body get wrenched away so the older could look him in the eye.

"You were out in that storm for hours, Jeongguk. Are you— what happened? How have you been?"

Namjoon's voice felt so foreign in his ears that he thought he'd gone crazy. Maybe he was still standing outside the door, imagining all this in his head. That they were just concerned about him. That they just wanted to hear how he was doing from his own mouth.

But the empathetic expression didn't fade or change in Namjoon's face, ensuring him that it was all real.

"I'm—" he cleared his throat and let his hands fall to his sides. "I'm okay, Joon Hyung."

Namjoon looked like he wanted to object, and Jeongguk knew he was always good at telling when he was lying, but Yoongi was standing in his peripheral and his focus snapped to the oldest.

"You took the jacket back."

It felt heavy on his shoulders with Yoongi's words. The first words he'd heard Yoongi say after learning how the older messed things up for him. "Didn't take it for you."

"Never said I wanted you to take it back for me." Yoongi corrected and Jeongguk snapped his mouth shut. "It's a good thing, anyway."

"Whatever." He mumbled, eyes shifting to Namjoon and then to the wall behind him. "I'm not here to be back, yet. I'm here to talk first."

"That's..." the tallest biker frowned. "That's fair."

"I know it is." Jeongguk sighed, gesturing almost comedically to the couch for them to move out of the spots they were in. He sat on the floor against the television stand, watching the two older bikers seat themselves on either side of the couch. Like some weird triangle. With Jeongguk at the point.

He closed his eyes and raked fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts (which only made them more jumbled up), before opening his lids again.

"I don't know where to start." He admitted, hands raising and then falling to his sides with a huff. "I really don't."

"Anywhere's fine, Jeongguk." Namjoon assured, so he asked something closer to the beginning.

"Why did you follow me to the shore?"

It was also the only place he knew where to start where he wasn't far too open-wounded to speak on right away.

Yoongi's eyes narrowed as Namjoon looked at him, curious, too. "Suspicion."

"About what?"

"What you do in your free time, Jeon. It's not like you tell us. Besides, you were getting real friendly with Kim in the diner."

"And you couldn't have just asked?"

He knew Yoongi wanted to ask something about whether or not he would have told the truth had he been asked about it. He knew that, and yet the older didn't. Just stood there with sharp eyes and let Jeongguk think for himself.

Because he probably wouldn't have. It led to too many questions and too many things that weren't his points to share with Yoongi.

"I wouldn't have told you the truth," he clarified, "but not because I didn't trust you."

"Yoongi Hyung," Namjoon cut in and Jeongguk looked at him. "Don't pretend you're angry."

"You guys are putting words in my damn mouth. And purposefully making me angry just to make those words right." Yoongi muttered, jaw clenching and relaxing like a physical pinch. "I shouldn't have followed you. You wouldn't have told me the truth. So, how were things supposed to go? We'd just never know you saved his life and you spend all this time with him? Jeongguk, we come to this beach for you. We hardly have any use here, but you do and we come with for you."

"Don't tell me you're jealous of who I spend my time with." Jeongguk's brows furrowed, letting the latter half of Yoongi's words fly over his head out of spite. "That's low, Yoongi. Even for you."

"Even for— the fuck is that supposed to mean, Jeon?" Yoongi moved to stand and Namjoon's hand was immediately pushing back on his chest. "What does that mean?"

"Okay, now you're actually angry." The pink haired male spoke. "Would the both of you just have a civil conversation?"

"I haven't said shit to him yet." Jeongguk objected. "And, yeah, don't be jealous, Yoongi. It's not cute."

"I'm not jealous, you fucker."

"Yoongi, Jeongguk—"

"Then, why did you do any of that shit?!" He exclaimed, prior circumstances seeming beyond fathomable with Yoongi's denial. "Invading my privacy, hurting my friend, lying to me— I don't understand why you're suspicious when you've trusted me for years!"

"I hardly know you anymore, Jeongguk."

His chest ached with those words. He didn't like those words at all. Because they were true. Because he'd hid himself from them and Yoongi was so very right.

"What about me do you want to know, Min Yoongi?" He didn't recognize what he was saying. "Where I go at nights? In storms? Who I kiss? My hourly agenda?"

"The past year and a half—"

"The past year and a half has been hell watching you guys fuck around, hurting people all the time."

He paused, voice falling in volume as the open wounds had hardly any time to heal; they burned across his chest like wounds.

"It's been a living hell and Taehyung was the first person to actually see that."

Namjoon and Yoongi went quiet, their faces mirroring something of stun and Jeongguk found it hard to actually meet their eyes. He'd never been that honest with them. About the past year and a half. He knew they saw a change in him, but he never addressed it so truthfully.

Yoongi's angry brows relaxed into something more indifferent. "You never let us see what you were going through, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk cursed under his breath, raking a hand down his face. He knew that. He knew that and he knew that part was his fault. It was no one's fault really. Everyone was just doing what they felt was right. For Jeongguk, that was keeping Namjoon and Yoongi out of his problems. For Yoongi, that was keeping them close.

Of course, they would eventually clash. Anyone could have seen it from a mile away if they just looked.

"Yeah, I know." He eventually replied. "I know I did that, but sometimes I hate how well I hid it from you guys. I wish—" he shot his gaze down to the carpet, throat clamping up. "I wish I didn't choose to hide it so I had someone there. I didn't want to push my problems onto you guys, but it was so goddamn hard and I know that's selfish—"

A hand was on his neck, pulling on the back of his head so he was forced to look up. Yoongi's face didn't betray emotion, instead understanding in his eyes as the older suddenly stood in front of him.

Jeongguk let out a small breath, nervous for what the older was going to say.

"I taught you to be selfish, so I'm more surprised you hid yourself in the first place, Jeon." Yoongi murmured, coercing him to see he heard him. In his own way. In the Yoongi-I-won't-express-it way. "I hate that you hid it from us, too. That's why I followed you to the shore."

Namjoon said something that sounded like 'finally' but Jeongguk was too eager to hear more of the response before him.

"Because you were mad at me?"

"Because I wanted to find out what was going on when you wouldn't tell us. What was going on with you."

Finally.

"You sure have some twisted way of showing you care, Hyung." Jeongguk muttered, sighing as his shoulder's sunk under Yoongi's palm (having shifted from his neck). "Taehyung was never hurting me."

"I know."

"Then— why?" His eyes narrowed.

Yoongi shrugged. "I'm selfish. I like what we have going and he was fucking it up."

"He was not—"

"I know, Jeongguk. It wasn't him changing things. It was you who was changing." The youngest stilled entirely, blinking in shock. "We started seeing you veer away from this and we chose to ignore it. I realize that now."

"I don't hate this because of you guys." Jeongguk assured. "Its... a long story, but something that happened to me back in high school."

"It was Hwan, wasn't it?"

Namjoon's sudden voice cut like a knife through his chest. Jeongguk felt the breath get knocked out of him as he refused to meet the pink haired biker's gaze.

"You would tell us about something ridiculous involving him on the daily, and then one day it just... stopped." Namjoon continued, explaining how he knew. "Things don't just stop without reason, Jeongguk. I knew something wasn't right. We both did and I'm sorry we never asked."

"It's— it's not your fault." He whispered, partly relieved when Yoongi's hand fell away. "It was just something I wasn't ready to talk about. Probably wouldn't have told you even if you asked."

Yoongi and Namjoon shared a look. Jeongguk saw them do it and he knew they were wondering if that topic was worth dropping.

He hoped they would. Especially because he wasn't ready to dig into that hole just after getting himself out of it the night before.

Maybe some time in the future, he'd feel okay with telling them, too. For now, one person was enough.

"So, about Taehyung... I heard you saved him from drowning." Yoongi threw in.

"Yeah."

"Is that why you guys are close?" Namjoon asked.

"Kinda."

He dug one hand into his pocket, getting some of his composure back. Taehyung... he could talk about him with a sense of normalcy.

"Taehyung developed a fear of the ocean and I was helping him overcome it. Spent the nights together by the shore and we just... I don't know, got closer from there."

"Closer?" Yoongi asked with a raised brow. "How close is that?"

"I know you saw us kissing, Yoongi." Jeongguk grumbled, partially annoyed by the friendly interrogation.

"That I did. Made me want to gouge my eyes out."

"Nice." He pursed his lips. "Good thing Hoseok was there."

"Definitely not a good thing. That guy makes me want to punch a wall."

"Anything mildly aggravating makes you want to punch a wall, Hyung." Namjoon cut in and Jeongguk held back the smile on his face as Yoongi shot him a sharp glare. "Are we cool now? You two aren't going to blow up on each other?"

"Can't promise anything." Jeongguk teased, but it was empty words. He didn't want to fight with Yoongi. The reason for Yoongi's desperate and irrational actions were understood by Jeongguk. Jeongguk understood incredibly well.

The oldest biker was scared to lose what they had and it was taking time to understand how to adapt to it. Because their dynamic was changing whether Yoongi did anything or nothing at all. They had to work with that.

"I swear you two can't have a normal conversation ever." Namjoon huffed, standing to move closer to where Yoongi and Jeongguk are. "And Yoongi Hyung, you literally take forever to admit to the truth."

"No, I don't."

Namjoon and Jeongguk both sent him a look.

"Oh, fuck off." Yoongi muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're going to say that to me when this guy—" he gestured to Jeongguk. "—is standing right here?"

"How mature."

"Shut it, Jeon."

Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "You guys should know a lot more has changed than you think."

"Like...?" Namjoon helped him stand with a hand wrapped around his arm.

"Like... things with Taehyung and the other surfers." He glanced at Yoongi, who's face didn't shift. "I like them. They've all helped me, too, and I think you guys should consider... being friendly with them. If not friends."

"Is that what you want?" Yoongi asked, but little did he know his older two friends had already talked plenty over the matter and had come to some kind of conclusion on their own. In his absence.

Jeongguk swallowed. "I know it's not what you want to hear—"

"What I want to hear is the truth. I don't want you to sugarcoat it." Namjoon smiled at him. "We want the truth, Jeongguk."

The breath in his throat staggered out of his mouth, stumbling over the bridge of his tongue like it was rickety and about to fall apart.

"The truth?" He vibrated happily, impulsively letting more spill from the gates of honesty after telling them how hard the past few years had been. "Taehyung makes me feel so good. He makes me so happy without even doing anything. I think—"

"We're gonna have to share you with him." Yoongi scoffed, though it was a teasing and playful remark because they had to have understood that Jeongguk's connection with the surfer was deeper than they had realized a month ago. "That sucks ass."

"Does Taehyung know?" Namjoon was grinning. "How you feel?"

"Fuck, no." Jeongguk grimaced. "What if he just wants to be friends?"

"Wait, you don't want to be just friends?" Yoongi's eyes shot wide and Jeongguk froze, thinking he'd been clear enough with his earlier words. "What the fu—"

"Before we even go to that topic— you guys are seriously fine, right? Jeongguk are you still mad at us?"

"Hyung, I'm fine." He assured, shrugging. "And yeah, I missed you guys. Kinda. For the most part. So, I'm back. Thank you for the jacket, Yoongi Hyung. I missed it, too."

"Oh, that's gross. Kim did serious damage." Yoongi cringed. "Speaking of, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know," Jeongguk groaned, shoving Yoongi's accusing finger out of his face. "He's nice to kiss. I like his smile. What else am I supposed to say?"

"Never thought I'd see the day where Jeongguk catches feelings for someone." Namjoon snickered.

"Shut up." He hissed. "I didn't catch feelings. Besides, he liked me first."

"Right. I'm sure." Namjoon clearly didn't believe him and Jeongguk mentally cursed him out. "And how long has this appreciation for the surfer been going on?"

"Dunno."

"Not good enough, Jeon," Yoongi scowled. "You've gone all softie on us."

"That's not true."

"Why don't I just go tell Taehyung how much you want to cuddle up with him—"

"I'll fucking kill you." Jeongguk grit his teeth, jaw clenched painfully. "Don't even step towards that door."

Yoongi stepped towards the door, digging his motorcycle key from his pocket.

"Yoongi!"

"Calm your ass, stupid." Yoongi barked out a laugh, Namjoon chuckling while simultaneously throwing an arm over Jeongguk's shoulder. "Let's go on a ride, kid. Like old times."

"Old times as in a week ago." Namjoon whispered in his ear and Jeongguk shook his head with a smile tugging on his lips.

"Fuck both of you." He protested when Namjoon rustled a hand in his hair on their way out of the apartment.

~•४•~

Taehyung did a lot of thinking and painting while Jeongguk was gone during the day.

Hearing the biker's story left plenty of inspiration in its wake. It was like the key to the last part of his painting series, too. Telling him where the project's story was going to go and end.

He'd considered a terrible ending. Like the bird drowning in the ocean forever, but Taehyung had come to find peace with the waves again. So, he figured it was reasonable to give the story a good ending, too.

Jimin came into the room with a sandwich for him, seeing as Taehyung wasn't planning to get up in the middle of his work. The artist gave his hands a break, though, and swiveled on his stool to eat with his best friend.

"It looks really good, Tae." Jimin's eyes scanned over the four canvases in the floor and then the fifth one on the easel, a work in progress. He'd laid the base coat and color blocked the vision. The details were the meticulous and exhausting part, though, and he was stuck on the waves.

"The foam doesn't look right." His voice was muffled with a mouthful of bread and vegetables.

"Are you kidding? I feel like I could reach out and touch it!" Jimin pouted, Taehyung slapping his extended arm in warning. "I wasn't actually going to, dumbass."

He chuckled, chomping down on the sandwich for another bite as he cocked his head at the older. "How's your jaw?"

"Basically feels as good as new." The grin on his best friend's face was reassuring. "Sometimes I forget I even got punched in the face, you know."

"You're something else, Minie." Taehyung rolled his eyes. He didn't think he'd forget for ages if that happened to him. "I'm glad you like him, though."

"Jeongguk? He's fine. Well, better than fine." Jimin teased and Taehyung's nose scrunched in annoyance. "Did I ever tell you I found you guys sleeping together on the couch?"

"You— that was you? Fucking great." He groaned, letting the hand holding his sandwich fall into his lap. "I knew someone had been there, but I was hoping it'd never be brought up."

Jimin giggled and lurched out a leg to kick his calf. "Are you guys always so touchy?"

"I literally cuddle with anyone who wants to. It's not that big of a deal."

"Okay, but Jeongguk definitely doesn't."

"So, what? Maybe I'm rubbing off on him. He's rubbed off on me."

"You sound like an idiot, you realize that, right?"

"You sound like an idiot jumping to conclusions, Jimin."

"Yeah? Well, when was the last time you thought about kissing him?"

Taehyung snapped his mouth shut, brows furrowing in frustration rather than a notion of thinking because he didn't have to think hard to have an answer.

When he said he'd done a lot of thinking, while Jeongguk was going back to Yoongi and Namjoon, that included many different things.

"See?" Jimin mocked his silence.

"I didn't even say anything."

"You gave me a whole essay in those ten seconds, Tae." The older laughed. "All the feelings and wishes. Everything you want with him. I got it all."

"Liar."

"Whatever you say." The singsong voice was humming and Taehyung almost threw a paintbrush at him. That would be a waste of a precious brush, though. He turned to look at his painting, eating a couple more bites of his sandwich, and turned around just seconds later with words on the tip of his tongue.

"It's real rich coming from you that wanting to kiss someone means more, you know."

Jimin rolled his eyes at the words. "And you've been like me since... when?"

"I said Jeongguk rubbed off on me." He shrugged like it was an obvious remark. "I like kissing."

"You like kissing him."

"Because he's the only one I've kissed recently."

"So you would kiss Mark?"

"Mark has a boyfriend, Jimin."

"Oh, shit. Yeah, I forgot. How was that news, by the way?"

Taehyung blinked, lips curving in a frown. "I don't really care, to be honest. I'm happy for him."

"Huh, that's good," Jimin nodded. "But what if he wasn't dating Jackson?"

"The fuck— are you trying to set me up? Is Mark standing right outside the door or something?" Taehyung scoffed. "The answer is no. I wouldn't kiss him or anyone else at the beach."

"Except Jeongguk."

"Except... well, yeah. Because I already have."

"Okay, is he a good kisser at least?"

"Goddammit, Jimin—"

"I'm being serious! For all that talk, he better be a good kisser or he's just one big fraud! Probably has the tiniest dick, too. All talk and no game. I wouldn't be surprised."

"Would you shut up about him?" Taehyung buried his face in his hands, cheeks flaming at the conversation Jimin was pulling him into. "And, yeah, whatever, he's a really good kisser."

His best friend squealed. Taehyung glared as Jimin jumped up from the bed and rushed forward to shake his shoulders around as if a priceless piece of art wasn't just feet away.

"Oh my god, deadass? Like— he lives up to his talk? Does he leave you breathless and shit?"

"I'm going to punch you harder than he did."

Jimin pouted. "You're lame. I can't be curious about my best friend's endeavors?"

"Not anymore!" Taehyung shot back with a sarcastic smile. "Let me finish my painting in peace, you short piece of shit."

"You're lame and mean," Jimin sighed dramatically. "I should just return you to Amazon headquarters. Send you back the way you came."

"Get out, Jimin!"

"Fine, fine. I'm leaving!"

Some silence albeit receding steps.

Then—

"Oh, when your precious Gguk comes back, I'll tell him what you think about his kissing!"

"Don't call him that!" Taehyung let his head drop down to hit his chin on his chest, ready to tackle the shorter surfer.

The most deterring reason towards not accepting how he felt about him and Jeongguk was the timing.

Jeongguk had just opened up to him less than twenty four hours ago— really opened up to him with truths no one else knew. Taehyung though he must've been the last thing on Jeongguk's mind considering what a good and bad memory Hwan was to him. A powerful memory seemed to be the best way to put it.

And all the more draining to speak on and have to think so carefully about.

He could empathize with Jeongguk hiding such a nightmare inside for so long, where pretending it never happened may have been easier than trying to accept it. But it seemed to be impossible for Jeongguk to truly avoid and forget, so Taehyung thought it was good that Jeongguk had let it out on his own terms instead of someone on the outside.

He saw that in his own life, too. Where he pretended his parent's hatred for his art wasn't breaking him down, when he had tried pretending that not being in the water was okay and he was fine on the sand. Both things had caught up to him. Both tore him down. And someone had been there to build him back up.

But it had just happened for the younger and Jeongguk was probably far from thinking about them.

There wasn't even a them.

Taehyung mentally stomped on his thoughts, knowing that there was definitely something he felt for the biker, but he didn't know whether to act on it or not.

Somehow, he thought being there to help build the torn down Jeongguk up would be better than changing the dynamic of what they had.

It was all terribly confusing and made him feel constricted in his head and to his friends.

Especially because he knew that he wasn't just anyone to Jeongguk. It was impossible. And it was an impossibly dangerous thing to make his heart swell knowing such.

And, yet, when Jeongguk was knocking on the front door, Hoseok letting him in, a lot of Taehyung's doubts slipped away like the ocean in his grasp of his palm.

Jeongguk was beaming, a new glow in his face as he greeted the others and made a beeline for him. Taehyung stifled a small gasp as arms were around him, pulling him into a joyous, leathery hug.

He hid his smile in Jeongguk's shoulder, wrapping his limp hands around the younger's waist. Taehyung knew things had gone well with the happy state of Jeongguk's appearance, but he hadn't expected the biker to steam roll him with a hug.

A hug.

Taehyung was losing it. It probably didn't mean anything more than Jeongguk being so excited about things going right, but all he could think about what how Jeongguk didn't just hug people— like Jimin said.

"You can say you're proud of me now." Jeongguk mumbled in his ear and Taehyung's smile grew, hugging him tighter and saying the words in response.

"Tell me what happened," he added, pulling away to look at him. His hands on Jeongguk's waist lingered, Jeongguk's hands smoothed over his arm, and Taehyung forgot everyone else in the room existed.

"Well, I kinda argued with Yoongi, but then I said something really honest and it kinda broke the conversation down. Which led to more civil talk and by then, I wasn't mad at him anymore," Jeongguk sighed, smiling. "We ended up going on a drive and getting some food at Tuan's. Talked some more there... it was really nice, Taehyung."

"I told you." He chuckled, pressing his fingers against Jeongguk's sides, feeling him relax as he did so.

"I know, I'm glad I listened to you." Jeongguk rolled his eyes, letting his hands fall away to look around the room. "Is that bonfire still happening tonight?"

"Sure is!" Jin responded from the kitchen and Taehyung felt the sudden urge to hide as Hoseok and Jimin looked over at them from the dining table, eyeing one another with a conversation of their own. "Gonna grill some food and we can make s'mores. You staying, Jeongguk?"

"I was hoping to," he nodded, turning to pull out his phone. "Let me just tell Yoongi and Namjoon."

Taehyung let his hand stay on Jeongguk's side, tucking his chin over Jeongguk's shoulder and peeking over at his phone. Jeongguk must've not minded as he didn't say anything in objection. Nudged back to stand closer, in fact.

"How are you doing?" He asked softly as he messaged his friends, words just for Taehyung's ears and the surfer hummed.

"I'm doing good. I was painting all day."

Jeongguk turned his head, straining his neck to look at him without their faces colliding. "Really? Did you finish?"

Taehyung grinned. "Ninety five perfect done. I'll show you tomorrow. I'll be done by then."

"Okay," the younger nodded, shit-eating grin on his lips. "I'm excited to see if you can change my mind."

"Art's not dumb, asshole." Taehyung dug a finger into Jeongguk's waist, laughing when the biker jumped and pushed his hand away.

Jeongguk tucked his phone away and grabbed his wrists, holding them up in the air and out of its dangerous zone. "Tasing me? Are you ten years old?"

"Okay, lovebirds," Jimin suddenly cut in and Taehyung's heart swooped. "As cute as this in, I'm feeling lonely, so break it up and come play with us."

"Fuck him," Taehyung groaned, missing Jeongguk's warmth the second the hands left his arms.

"You wouldn't fuck your best friend, would you, Kim?" The biker was whispering in his ear and Taehyung shoved his face away with disgust on every feature.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, Jeon."

The younger was simply laughing, shuffling away from him so they could find seats at the dining table with Jimin and Hoseok. "Monopoly?"

"Capitalism at its finest." Hoseok held out his palm with the metal characters, offering for the youngest two to pick theirs out.

"Did you know it was supposed to be a game that showed the evils of capitalism? And how we shouldn't let someone monopolize economies— hence the name." Jin said as he untied the waist apron and took a seat at the table with them.

Taehyung grimaced as he grabbed the dog token piece and placed it at the start. "Okay, Monopoly Nerd, no one really cared."

"Tough crowd, Hyung." Jimin laughed, handing Jin his usual top hat piece. Taehyung saw Jimin's cat token and Hoseok's car at the start square of the board and Jeongguk was still picking between the remaining pieces.

"Just pick one, Greased Lightning."

"This is a life changing decision, Saltine. Give me a sec."

Taehyung rolled his eyes and grabbed one. "Here be the trashcan."

Jeongguk took it from him, surveying it with sharp eyes and then grinning at him. "Why? Because you want to take me out?"

Taehyung's eyes snapped wide and he was slapping the biker's arm without hesitation, ignoring the obvious look of I told you so from his best friend across the table. "Because you're a piece of shit."

"Ouch." Hoseok frowned. "Also did you just call that a trashcan? It's a fucking thimble, stupid."

"Thimble? The hell's a thimble?" Jeongguk asked first.

"Like in sewing." Jin explained. "So you don't butcher your fingers."

"Yeah, I had no idea that existed." Taehyung gaped, staring at the thimble on Jeongguk's fingers. "Well, I guess you're a sewing thimble then, Jeon."

"Sexy." He announced, placing it on the start space.

They played for about an hour, Jin naturally being banker as the certified Monopoly Nerd, before they decided to cave and give up on the never ending game.

Taehyung and Hoseok had a few houses on their proprieties, Jimin had managed a hotel and plenty of jail visits, and Jin was winning with graining someone's money every turn and obtaining Boardwalk and hotels. And Jeongguk? Taehyung had to hold back a laugh seeing the guy tank into bankruptcy like every roll of the dice was against him.

"I can't pay you, Jimin! I don't have any money." Jeongguk grumbled.

"Give up a property for some cash, Jeongguk?" Jin suggested.

"He sold his last property last round." Hoseok laughed. "Luck's not on his side this game."

Taehyung leaned his chin on a hand and gazed over at the annoyed frustration on Jeongguk's gaze, forehead creased and eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the dice for ruining his prosperity. He smiled at the guy sitting next to him, finding it all cute when Jeongguk cursed and forfeited, retracting his piece from the board and admitting defeat.

"Tae," Jimin shook him out of his thoughts. "Your turn."

"We should call it quits," he hummed instead, pointing at the window. "The sun set and I'm hungry."

"Just when Jeongguk loses, you're done?" Jin was collecting the board pieces anyway. "Unfair."

"Don't pity me like that, Kim." Jeongguk was suddenly glaring at him and the youngest surfer found himself smiling still. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." His voice dropped as he hooked his pinky finger into Jeongguk's under the table. Deciding to be honest because it was probably the right thing to do. "I'm just glad you're here. And I'm glad things worked out."

Jeongguk's lips parted, but he didn't get a chance to express his change in emotion when Jin was ushering them up from the table with tasks to complete for the evening.

The grilled meat and vegetables were amazing, Jin's prep on the food never failing their taste buds, and Taehyung ate seconds— maybe thirds. He lost count. They all sat about the patio, beers and seltzers, plastic plates of food in their hands, praising their personal chef and enjoying the barbecued meal.

After that, they started the bonfire, which took longer and was much more annoying than Taehyung would have liked. He had forgotten how difficult starting fires actually was, even in the dry wood and sand. They were far enough from the tide line to escape the dampness that would hinder it, but just collecting fire fuel was proving to be a hassle.

Jeongguk expressed his opposition to so much work for the stupid burning of oxygen plenty of times, enough where Taehyung snapped at him to shut up before he whacked the wining out of Jeongguk's head. To which the younger said he never whined.

They cheered when the bonfire was sustaining itself enough to stir a large fire alive, one with smoky puffs of air crackling up to the darkening sky. Stars were beginning to shine through the navy dome while Taehyung stared up and then at his company— smiling when he was together with his favorite people under the moonlight.

He'd stolen Jeongguk's jacket in the midst of their bonfire adventures, shuddering with a gust of wind and then Jeongguk was cursing and calling him stupid for not dressing in full sleeves as he shed off his jacket for the surfer.

Taehyung took it despite the blubbering nonsense Jeongguk spewed, deciding to consider it a gentlemanly move by a rather idiotic pain in his ass.

Jeongguk would have definitely made the sex joke if he'd said that aloud.

The leather was still so strange to him, like he was awed by the warmth of it when the sleeves stayed cool and shiny. Like metal in fabric form, but a hug from the inside.

Possibly like Jeongguk himself.

When the fire spurred alive to its sustaining size, Taehyung felt warmer; they all did as the surfers sat around in a couple chairs while Jeongguk and Taehyung took the blanket.

He roasted a marshmallow on a skewer, Hoseok having the graham crackers and chocolate prepared in his lap for each roasted marshmallow to be squished into a dessert sandwich.

Jimin didn't cook his much, finishing first and Jeongguk finished his next, Taehyung letting his roast until it was gooey and then burning the exterior all together.

"Jeongguk, here." Hoseok reached out the s'mores to the biker and Taehyung grabbed it when he found himself the bridge between the two.

He turned to hand it to Jeongguk, but feeling playful, he took a large bite out of the younger's s'more, marshmallow oozing out from the opposites sides as Jeongguk's eyes narrowed in spite.

"Hey, that's mine." The younger snapped, reaching for it and Taehyung laughed, handing it over and wiping his mouth for any string marshmallow cream that may have stuck to his lips. "You just bit like half of it out, Kim!"

"What? I was craving a bite. Burnt marshmallows are superior by the way."

"First my jacket, then my s'more and also taking my marshmallow preference and shitting on it? What else do you want to take?"

Your hand. Just to hold it again.

Of course, he didn't say that and just silently turned back to burning his own, hearing Jeongguk huff out a sigh and eat his severed s'more.

Hoseok made him one, Taehyung greedily handing off the skewer to the dancer in a trade for the dessert and grinning as it melted invitingly in front of his face.

Just as he opened his mouth to take a bite, ringed fingers grasped his wrist and dragged his wrist away from him and towards Jeongguk, making Taehyung nearly fall over on the blanket the two of them sat on.

He yelped as Jeongguk bit through his s'more, heart jumping when his fingers brushed the younger's lips— smooth and wet against his warm dry hands. Taehyung ripped his hand back, caving his shoulders in to create a barrier around his s'more and Jeongguk threw his head back with a laugh, eyes glimmering with satisfaction as he spoke.

"Revenge, Saltine." He snorted, humming happily and Taehyung pouted, biting into the destructed s'more anyway. It was still delicious.

It occurred to him in that moment, how relaxed Jeongguk was. To laugh freely and be open to the space when his leather jacket was on Taehyung, where Taehyung's family was sitting feet away and he could playfully sneak a bite out of his food and they could joke around.

Jeongguk hadn't had a comfortable environment like that in a long time.

Taehyung knew that and it was showing.

It was showing in how much he tried to embrace it and enjoy every second of it. How he didn't hesitant when Jin asked him if he was staying. When they played monopoly and he didn't actually care if he lost.

Jeongguk liked Taehyung's life. Wanted to be a part of it. Wanted to enjoy what he hadn't gotten for years.

Taehyung had kept thinking that Jeongguk needed some time after opening his heart, time to settle into his real self, but circumstances seemed to shift his opinion.

Jeongguk seemed more comfortable and himself than he'd ever seen. Just by being in a familiar environment with a familiar person.

Maybe it was the perfect time.

Taehyung reached for his seltzer after finishing the sandwich of pure sugar, needing some liquid to compensate for the dryness in his mouth. It burned through his throat, taste lemony and nice. Jeongguk was taking a beer from Jimin, downing a few sips before drawing his knees to his chest and letting his arms dangle over his legs.

"You're staring a lot tonight, Kim."

He rolled his eyes and stared at the fire instead, feeling a bit too warm in the nearby flames and leather jacket combined, deciding to shed the jacket to cool down a bit. Jeongguk took it from him and hung it on Jimin's chair, which was the closest.

"I'm really not."

"Ogling respectfully, I guess?"

"I'm not staring, Greased Lightning."

"Mhm, okay, Saltine." Jeongguk hid his smile with another sip of his beer and Taehyung felt the drinks throughout the evening starting to catch up with him, making him feel slightly bubbly and tingly, making his cheeks feel warmer than they usually were.

"Hey, Jeongguk." Jimin was slumped in his seat, one leg crossed over the other, sprawled like a king. "Do your Yoongi and Namjoon still despise us like we're the angels to their devils?"

"Nah," the biker shrugged. "I mean, they won't say it, but they're happy you guys helped me."

"Thankful is probably stretching it," Jin chuckled and Hoseok shook his head with a knowing smile.

"That's not in their vocabulary. Not with us." The dancer sighed. "We didn't help you for their gratefulness or whatever, anyway. So, I guess it doesn't make a difference."

Taehyung listened in quietly. Jeongguk spoke up again. "Thanks... again. You know, for everything these past few days."

"You're not annoying on surfer land, so don't sweat it." Jimin beamed over at him. Them. Maybe both of them, his eyes were flicking between the youngest two. "It's pretty cool having more company, you know. It's always been us four for our whole lives."

"Mark's been there." Taehyung cut in. "In the summers at least."

"I think he's growing out of this place after how less we've seen him. It's different for Mark when this is his first home." Jin reasoned. "Don't have to understand it, but I don't blame him for branching out."

"He's happy, too." The artist smiled softly. "With everything going on, he's enjoying the change. That's even more important than the change itself."

He saw Jeongguk's head turn in his peripheral to look at the surfer. Maybe Taehyung had meant the words for more people than just Mark, and maybe he was glad to see that Jeongguk understood.

Because he did think that it was more assuring to see Jeongguk embrace and enjoy the change rather than panic and shut down like he had the first time.

It showed that Jeongfuk wanted it and that made Taehyung feel a bit braver than before. Feel better about his own emotions that crossed with the thought of the younger.

His hand fell to rest on the blanket, tensing when his fingers grazed another's skin, calloused fingers rough from working in a garage and revving motorcycle engines. A hand that was touching his from Taehyung's action.

He shifted his hand away an inch when Jeongguk didn't move. Just enough to keep them from touching and so that he could lay it flat.

He leaned on it, head tipping back as he downed some more of his drink. Taehyung nearly choked on sip as a touch snaked up the side of his wrist and arm, to his elbow and back down.

Slow and almost calming when the initial hit of surprise subsided.

He glanced down to see Jeongguk's fingers run the lightest of stroke over the canvas of his arms, ticklish, and as if the biker didn't even realize he was doing it as his attention remained on whatever the other three surfers were talking about.

Taehyung understood that Jeongguk had been waiting for him to make a move of contact first. Most of their recent interactions had been reliant on Taehyung's initiation. A big change from the start of their friendship. And Taehyung knew it partly out of guilt, guilt that lingered from their fight and lashing out without thinking.

He didn't mind it as long as Jeongguk didn't think he wasn't allowed to be close. But he just wanted to younger to not have to think so much. He wanted Jeongguk to do as he wanted because he did trust the biker even if Jeongguk didn't think he deserved it.

"— do you think, Tae?"

"Hm? What?" He blinked, staring at Jin who'd addressed him from the other side of the table.

"He asked what you think about having lunch with Yoongi and Namjoon. To break the ice or something." Hoseok filled him in.

Taehyung looked over at Jeongguk, who's hand was resting on the blanket just behind his, finger reaching out to draw circles on his wrist. It caused his stomach to flip. "What do you think?"

The biker shrugged. "Sure. Might go haywire, but it's worth a shot."

"We've got our sunshine mediator if anything goes wrong." Jimin pointed at the dancer.

"Mediator? If anything he'll be the one creating some issue with Yoongi." Jin scoffed, amusement in his voice. Hoseok glared at them both before looking at Taehyung again.

"Sound okay?"

"I'm good if you all are good with it."

"Cool." Jimin nodded, standing and stretching with his beer in one hand. Taehyung laughed at the high pitched sound he made in the midst of the stretch before rubbing his belly and smiling sweetly. "I'm gonna head to the porch. Maybe inside. Anyone wanna come?"

"I'll join you." Hoseok stood, the two of them were finding seats in the porch out of earshot, probably to cool down away from the fire.

Taehyung looked over at Jeongguk for the millionth time that night, both curious and hopeful in how receptive the younger had been to him and wondering if it was okay to be straightforward and open back.

A ringer went off and he recognized his brother's ringtone quickly.

"At this hour?" Jin's brows furrowed. "It's Mom."

"You should take it." Taehyung's hope died in his chest, smile going bleek and droopy in failed attempts to hide the effect of the name.

Jin sent him an apologetic look before standing and disappearing near the other two surfers.

"Right, you don't have a good relationship with them." Jeongguk recalled. "Well, you want to, but you can't."

"Not yet. Haven't proved myself worthy of their support." He sighed, running a hand through his hair and gripping the strands. "I don't want to think about them right now."

"Okay, then don't."

He cracked a smile and shook his head. "Wow. Nice suggestion, Greased Lightning."

"Master of advice, I know."

"Please," Taehyung felt his tense muscles ease off so quickly it almost had the reverse effect of startling him. Jeongguk and him just had the perfect back and forth to distract him. "You advised to choke on some popcorn. That's dangerous."

"I didn't say to choke on popcorn to choke. I said to choke on it by thinking about my—"

"I know what you said." He dug his seltzer in the sand, letting the can stand on its own. "And yet, you just had to show up and make yourself known anyway. Couldn't stay away for one night."

"Maybe you're right, Kim." Jeongguk murmured, swaying to bump into his shoulder. "Maybe you're the irresistible one. Would explain your countless admirers."

"Funny. Way to rub my singleness in my face."

"I'm partly serious, though." Jeongguk raised a brow. "Good heart, handsome face, talented and annoying? Sounds like a great guy."

"Then, why have I been single for so long?" He entertained the younger's seemingly mocking words. "Do tell, kind sir."

"Well, you're the problem of course." Taehyung's brows raised, disbelief across his features like he'd been slapped across the face. Jeongguk said it so simply, too. "You want a relationship so perfect, it doesn't exist."

"I don't— hey, I'm allowed to just dream, okay? There's nothing wrong with that—"

"You're not going to find something picture perfect like that movie love you like." Jeongguk mumbled, but the words seemed almost for himself.

But the thought that occurred next seemed to be the final drop of rain after a storm, the last remnants of a ripple in a pond, the last cut of a key slotting into its specially made lock.

No, he couldn't get the perfect dream he'd wanted all his life. As the hopeless romantic he was.

And the thought that came to him was that Jeongguk and the realness of what they were was far better than that dream. Because he actually had that reality in front of him, just inches away and in arms reach, and he liked that reality a lot.

He'd always wanted something perfect like the movies or books, but he needed someone real like Jeongguk.

And it drew him into focusing on every little detail of that moment. Appreciating every little part of the realization.

Taehyung felt the flames warm his skin, eyes stinging with how long he stared at the crackling curls of red and orange smoking up the sky. His skin was tinted warm with the light of the fire, blanket comfortable under him as he hugged his knees to his chest.

The crashing waves were evident in his ears, clashing with the unnatural sounds of music playing from the patio where the rest of his friends were. He hadn't realized when they'd decided to play music.

It made him smile, though, as he heard laughter spew against the song's dulled chorus. He gazed past the lit fire pit to see them sitting around, drinking from cans and bottles, relaxing in the energy. Jin had ended the call quickly, he noticed. He'd ask about that later.

His eyes shifted to the figure beside him, a few inches between them. Enough where Taehyung could sense when Jeongguk bristled with thoughts, but not enough to feel his body's warmth over the fire's.

The fire flickered light across the peaceful expression on Jeongguk's face, a small curve on his lips as his lids were shut, a gentle sway in his body.

Taehyung's smile widened, subconsciously turning as a wave of adoration doused him. His knee nearly brushed Jeongguk's thigh as he shifted to face the biker, said man stilling and eyes opening to look down at the near touch.

Jeongguk's head lifted with a raised brow. "Hm?"

"Gguk." Taehyung whispered, clasping his hands in his lap as Jeongguk turned to mirror his stance.

"Yeah," The biker's head tilted, earring swinging and looking like gold in the fire's flash of light. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Taehyung shrugged, lamely. Jeongguk's brows furrowed before his grin returned, a fond shake of his head all the reaction Taehyung received before their eyes simply met again. And stared.

It wasn't awkward— not at all. Taehyung felt warm and fuzzy, and not from the fire. He felt it inside, brewing in his chest and then electrifying the nerves throughout his body.

He saw the deepness of those dark eyes reflect a hint of curiosity with the red and orange lines panning over his pupils. Taehyung's lips parted in awe as his peripheral caught the entire canvas of beauty a foot away from him. He stared and looked at Jeongguk. Looked deeper than before and saw him.

He felt the younger's leg brush his with more contact, bodies leaning in closer without a conscious push.

"You sure it's nothing?" Jeongguk's voice was hushed, slightly raspy in the confusion.

"No."

"No...?" The biker's lip curled up, eyes narrowing with his smile. "Not sure what to make of that, Kim."

"Don't make anything of it, Jeon." He mumbled, voice airy as his gaze hovered away from his eyes and found the sweeping hair across his forehead, tickling his lashes, leading to his nose and down to his uneven lips. The small mole under his bottom one and then his jawline, cutting a sharp shadow across the plane of his neck, the fire's light curving around the sharp bone.

He was definitely trying to drag out every moment for his own sanity, but he knew he couldn't keep it up for long.

"Taehyung, are you sure everything's okay?"

He pouted, eyes finding a new focus on the tongue darting out to moisten dry lips. Taehyung wouldn't even bother concealing the truth that he missed Jeongguk's touch, one that the younger seemed to stray from for obvious reasons he'd already figured out.

Jeongguk was waiting for him, he reminded himself.

Taehyung shifted a few inches closer, hair falling before his eyes as the heat from the fire burned into his side. Knee pressed against Jeongguk's leg, breaths slightly quickened as the idiotically sweet smile ghosted his lips.

Jeongguk's hand moved to rest on his knee, Taehyung sighing softly at the touch, feeling some tension relax in him.

His shoulder scrunched as he caved in to move closer when his body couldn't, Jeongguk's chin tilting down to catch his enamored gaze.

"Hi, Gguk." Taehyung said softly, feeling Jeongguk's breath fill the inches between them and brush his lips. He smelled like grease and exhaust, the salt of the ocean and the hazy scent of alcohol from drinking until buzzed.

"Hey, baby." Jeongguk's cheeks were flushed like his, much to both of their shocks, as the fluster made them giddy. The biker, though, seemed to sit into the rush, cool as ever, as Taehyung grew antsy.

Jeongguk's embracing the change. You do it, too, Taehyung. Be brave.

"You..." Taehyung bit his inner check as his fingers grazed Jeongguk's forearm. The skin was warm from the fire, contrary to the sleeves of the leather jacket he'd worn some time ago. "You don't want to do anything right now?"

"Like?"

Taehyung glanced down at his lips, peeking up and then away because it was terribly embarrassing to watch if he was understood.

Jeongguk sucked in a small, sharp breath upon realizing, the hand resting on his knee pressing into the joint in anticipation. "I didn't think you'd want me to."

"Who said?" He almost frowned, but the controlled surprise on Jeongguk's face made him look incredibly cute and even more kissable.

Taehyung was so gone.

"I just— after everything, I thought you'd just want to be friends." Jeongguk looked away, head turning towards the ocean, and his hair glowed a reddish brown from the bonfire. "You know you don't kiss your friends."

He chuckled, bubbly inside, outside, in his voice and his head as he lifted a hand to cup Jeongguk's face. The biker's eyes watched him carefully, words as calculated as his approach.

"And you should know you're the irresistible idiot." Taehyung whispered before leaning in closer. Just a hair between their lips and waiting for a second. Just long enough to hear Jeongguk's breath hitch and notice his eyes flutter shut. And then he leaned forward just enough to brush their lips together.

It was so soft. Jeongguk's hand on his knee gripping the limb to restrain himself, hair tickling his face. Taehyung felt his skin tingle with everything nice in the world, his heart flutter around its cage of ribs, smiling against the gentle press of their lips together.

So different than all their other ones, nothing like a rush of adrenaline or erupting course of heat tunneling through his senses that made him forget about everything. It was sweet and small, started by him and accepted by Jeongguk. A request and a reminder that the bike was gentler and sweeter than he thought.

A reminder that Taehyung knew him. All of who he was. The good, bad... the hate-able and the lovable parts of him— and the parts of him that were cracking into the surface.

The heart of gold that saved hurting souls and stayed mentally strong for his own.

Taehyung pulled away to press their foreheads against one another's, an action they'd come to do so many times the past few nights, but Jeongguk and him were breathing heavily and briskly against the other's mouth.

"Oh, that was so nice—"

Jeongguk interrupted him, pulling him closer in an instant with the granted permission, hand on his waist and the back of his head drawing him as close as possible. Their hands were firm and grounding, reaching for purchase on each other's shoulders or sides, contrary to the gentleness of their lips.

Mouths pressed softly and slow, deep and wanted, full of an emotion that they both had no idea they'd kept away for weeks.

Jeongguk tasted like the beer he'd drank, bitter on Taehyung's tongue as his lips adopted the taste. He wondered what the hard seltzer he'd had tasted like to Jeongguk, who's hands were trembling as they held him steady.

Ironic, Taehyung thought.

But that's how it'd always been. Jeongguk kept him safe without worrying about himself, without a care for his own torments, and the focus on making sure Taehyung was alright while putting all else behind.

Taehyung eventually pulled away to breathe, even though he wished he didn't have to. Their noses brushed, eyes slowly peeling open to look at each other. Their breaths fanned across each others' cheeks, a shiver running up his spine as he slid his hands up from Jeongguk's shoulders.

"Sorry," the biker mumbled breathlessly. "You were saying something."

"Forget that," he frowned, stroking the cheeks of the half warm and cold face, thumbs soft on softer skin. "You're shaking, Jeongguk."

"I'm fine. I just... don't understand." He reasoned, lips nearly grazing each other's as they spoke. Taehyung tucked the long strands behind the biker's pierced ears, fingers dipping down to run along the dangling metal.

He felt unexpectedly calm. He'd always been nervous trying to initiate anything of this sort, but maybe that was the best part of the current reality. He was so sure of his choice that it felt right.

There was nothing to be nervous about.

"You said it yourself," he bit back the wide smile tugging at either ends of his mouth, shifting up with his legs to look down at Jeongguk as Jeongguk's hands slowly stilled at his sides, holding onto the eye contact they shared. "I don't kiss just anyone."

Jeongguk paused, his eyes narrowed with the implicit settling into something more concrete. "So... so, what are you saying?"

"Take a guess."

"I don't want to play your games, Tae." Jeongguk sounded almost annoyed with the words, eager for seriousness. Ironic. And Taehyung was serious. He'd given everything just enough thought. Kept himself from overthinking, and he knew his heart was set.

"Well, I want to play yours." He said, voice dropping with sudden meekness from the way Jeongguk looked at him. Maybe he was nervous, but not because he doubted anything. "And I want to be the only one who gets to. Without it really being a game."

Understanding. That was the passing look in his eyes.

A crack in the tension before Jeongguk's completely seeped away, replaced by a small grin on his face as he chuckled softly, relaxing as he finally knew Taehyung's intentions explicitly. "I don't think that's really playing around then."

"Oh, shut up." His expression fell in annoyance. "I'm just trying to be smooth and you're here laughing!"

"No, no, you did great, Tae." Jeongguk laughed anyway, voice throaty in emotional strain and newfound relief.

Taehyung felt a rush of warmth fill him as his nose kissed the younger's. "Really? I actually tried, you know. Being all cool and cryptic like you. Like I know what I'm doing."

That was another thing he'd realized. He'd been scared of messing up for so much of his life, that he sometimes forgot what it meant to just give things a try. To take all kinds of risks instead of pouring his heart into one.

Jeongguk made taking those risks easier. He knew he'd never feel terrible for making a mistake with the younger. Sure, he might get teased to the end of time, but those arms would be helping him stay afloat no matter what. He'd be guided just as much as he guided Jeongguk.

It didn't feel like he was trying to win anyone over. It just felt like... like he was himself and that was enough. He didn't need paintings and surfing to be a reason for receiving appreciation, he could just be himself and Jeongguk would take it.

He was pulled closer until Jeongguk's arms were wrapped around him, the biker's chin resting on his shoulder as his lips grazed his ear. His voice was low, hot breaths sparking goosebumps all over Taehyung's skin.

"Mhm," Jeongguk hummed, throat vibrating against his shoulder. "You did so good for me, baby."

Taehyung shuddered when those hot breaths touching his ear became the younger's lips, catching his lobe between his teeth and wetting the burning skin. Taehyung slumped in his arms, almost soothed with Jeongguk nipping his ear, despite how much it made his heart stumble at first.

He loved how grounding Jeongguk's hands were, at his sides or trailing up his arms, how his touches made him melt in a fire and ignite a stampede for a heartbeat at the same time.

"I still need you to say it." Jeongguk murmured, lips grazing his jaw, just below his ear, making his eyes flutter and mind muddle.

"Say?" He echoed, suddenly unsure of how to think.

Jeongguk recognized the lack of focus in his voice, pulling away so his lips weren't touching his skin anymore. Taehyung almost protested, moving back to glare at Jeongguk. The younger grinned at his reaction, though, thumbing at the skin below his ear.

"I need you to say what you want."

"I want you to kiss me again." Taehyung huffed, tugging on his arm.

"Don't be difficult, Taehyung."

"Can't believe you're not jumping at the request." He frowned, shoving Jeongguk's shoulder with some grumpiness. "I've missed kissing you. I like it a lot."

Good. Straightforwardness is good.

"I like kissing you, too." Jeongguk held his chin, pushing it up to look at him. "But I need to know for sure."

"What I want?"

"What you want."

Taehyung's smile was small, irritation fading and raw appreciation taking its place because Jeongguk wanted to hear him. Wanted to make sure he was positive about what he was asking for.

"You."

Jeongguk's lips parted to speak, but Taehyung beat him to it.

"Look I know I said we should take some time to think, but if there's anything I've learned this summer is that... something you enjoy, someone you enjoy being around, can be stripped away at any time. And I really like you, Gguk." He felt far from embarrassed by his expressiveness. "It's not rushing into it because I've thought about it and I don't have any doubts. It's more that everything's at the risk of being taken away, so I'm taking this risk now. With you."

Jeongguk's breaths were staggered. He seemed more envious of Taehyung's ability to be so direct with his feelings— an ability the biker was learning to nurture.

"And I thought you would want time after last night, but I want to tell you the truth, Jeongguk. That I don't want to leave your side or let go of your hand. And that I think you're the most Jeongguk I've seen yet and it's actually reassuring that everything that's going on is good." He continued, voice dropping with a sigh. "I didn't even ask if you were on the same page, sorry."

"I have been nervous about it all." Jeongguk admitted, voice low and enamored. "But it's because I didn't want to do anything you needed time for. Telling you felt more liberating than painful, so... I'm good. I'm better than good. Also, I'm definitely on the same page and, god, you are worth every second of the wait, Hyung."

"Thank you." Taehyung whispered, heart swelling almost painfully as he encompassed Jeongguk's wrist with his hand. Sometimes, he still felt hesitant to interlace their fingers, worried he'd gotten the chance a night ago in the peak of emotions.

Jeongguk seemed to read his mind, moving his wrist back so their hands found each other's instead, and the hesitation in his head was stomped on with just a wrap of fingers around his own.

"Is this..." The words died on the younger's tongue, throat clearing to speak again. "Is this it? Can I ask you— do I ask you to be mine now?"

Taehyung chuckled, "as long as I'm the only one you have eyes on."

Jeongguk's fingers on his chin moved up to brush the back of his hand across Taehyung's cheek, licking his lips with a smile. "Hasn't been anyone else since the first time we met, Kim. I just think about your lips on mine, and only yours."

The words made his breath snag, though he joked it off. "Yeah, I'm sure, Mr.Thinks-with-his-dick."

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, the hand in Taehyung's grasp tugging slightly to rub his knuckles over the older's thigh, small strokes gentle. "You're so mean, Saltine."

"I only learned from the best." Taehyung craned his neck to draw his face closer to the biker's. "You should ask me to be yours now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Jeongguk shrugged. "You're mine."

"Hey— that wasn't asking!"

"I don't need to." Jeongguk flicked his ear, smiling at the redness that lingered from his lips. "Remember when I pulled that funny shit in front of Tuan?"

"Are you really going to change the subject on me?"

"I'm not changing the subject." The voice argued. "The subject's been covered. I already said you're mine."

"You didn't even ask properly!" Taehyung complained, throwing his head back with a frustrated groan. "You're supposed to be sweet and ask if I'll be your boyfriend— not just state it— what's so funny? I'm actually mad!"

Jeongguk's grin widened, tugging Taehyung's ear and earning a slap on his chest. "I'm sure you're furious. It's written all over your face, baby."

"Hey," Taehyung pointed an accusing finger at him. "First rule is you can't call anyone else that."

"I clearly remember you telling me the first rule was to scrap baby." The biker feigned pain. "Now, you're switching up on me. These rules aren't easy to follow, Taehyung."

"You're the worst." Taehyung groaned, voice muffled from where he'd fallen into Jeongguk's hold and buried his head into the broad chest. He could find Jeongguk's heartbeat pulsing against his forehead if he focused.

"I know." Jeongguk chuckled, combing fingers through his hair. Taehyung grumbled curses into his shirt. "You're not so great yourself."

"Whatever." Taehyung lifted his head. "Can you ask?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm serious." The older frowned. "Please."

"Kim Taehyung," Jeongguk said without a pinch of emotion in his dead voice. "Will you do me the grandest favor of being my boyfriend?"

"Fucking asshole." Taehyung hissed.

The biker laughed, sound bright in extreme contrary to his dull words just before. "I love messing with you."

"I had no idea."

"Chill with the sass." Jeongguk snickered quietly, voice hushed as though they had to be quiet and mindful, even with the closest people around being far from earshot.

"Chill with the asshole personality trait first." He pulled his head away from its buried position as the younger thumbed at his waist. He put his arms on Jeongguk's shoulders, playing with the hair at the back of his neck as their eyes met— struggling to not stray their gazes across each other's faces and lingering there for a while.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Jeongguk mumbled, having completely forgotten what Taehyung had rebutted with.

"Doesn't matter anymore." He said instead, because he couldn't care less when Jeongguk looked at him the way he did. The biker pulled on his waist to draw him closer, making Taehyung rise to his knees and move each knee to either side of Jeongguk's hips, settling down to sit in his lap.

It was gentle. The reassuring hands on his sides, touch waiting for him to make a move as the enchanting eyes of the younger stared up at him as he enjoyed the feeling of firm thighs under him over the bumpy sand and blanket's fabric.

Jeongguk's eyes narrowed as Taehyung focused on the swell of his cheek and the surfer cocked his head upon noticing. "Is there something on my face?"

"Huh? No, I just... your cheeks are really red, Gguk."

"Probably just the fire being so nice and warm."

Their eyes met again, a smile growing on Jeongguk's face like Taehyung's words had an underlying meaning.

Because Jeongguk was his fire. And maybe he was a little flushed over everything from the past few moments. Considering that it was new for them both, Taehyung couldn't blame him.

"It's been a while since I've got to hold you like this." Jeongguk murmured low, voice swooping all over again and making their bubble of space shrink even more. "Not since the first night you kissed me. Said 'fuck it' and went right in."

"That was stupid, don't remind me." Taehyung grimaced, recalling how embarrassingly his conversation with Jimin had been after that. "Not really how I'd want my first kiss with someone to go, but it's you so I'm not surprised."

"First kiss?"

"Not first kiss ever. Just my first kiss with you."

"I still think you're a virgin."

Taehyung glared and flicked at the side of Jeongguk's head. "I'm not lying about my virginity, shithead."

"No way, don't believe it." Jeongguk shook his head defiantly. "You do know how to kiss really well, though. I was surprised."

"I just followed you." The older shied away, head turning so his chin hit his shoulder. "I really don't know what I'm doing eighty percent of the time—"

"Hey," two fingers under his chin were leading his gaze over to meet Jeongguk's again. "I'm just giving you a hard time. I don't care about that."

"I figured." He glared and Jeongguk's hands squeezed at his sides. Taehyung squirmed, huffing a little as Jeongguk chuckled. Their noses brushed, laughs hitting the other's skin. "You think a relationship will work?"

"I'm going to have to follow your lead on this one." Jeongguk hugged his midsection. "Don't have much experience in the dating game."

"Same here."

"Well, shit."

Taehyung let his forehead rest on Jeongguk's as he laughed again. "It's okay. We'll figure it out."

"Yeah," the biker answered. "I guess, I can't say much worse than I already have."

"I'd honestly be more impressed than anything if you figured out something worse than death." Taehyung snorted, quieting as Jeongguk's eyes fluttered shut when his pointer finger dusted along his brow and traced under the biker's eye. "Does that feel nice?"

"Mhm." The younger hummed. Taehyung continued the gentle touch for a few moments before moved his head to press his lips to the corner of Jeongguk's eye. Then he kissed the flat land above the hill of his nose, lips shifting down to the point of that hill and he heard Jeongguk's breathing stop as he hovered over the uneven lips for a second before kissing the skin just below, grazing over the small mole of his.

The hands on his sides gripped at his shirt as he slowly disconnected his lips from Jeongguk's skin, only a hair of space between their mouths as he shifted once more to sit comfortably in the younger's lap.

"My boyfriend." Taehyung whispered excitedly.

"All yours, handsome." Jeongguk's palms smoothed down his hips and over his thighs before moving up to his back. Taehyung could hardly breathe anymore as one ringed hand left his back to grasp his chin and finally guide their lips together again.

"Can I promise something?" Jeongguk mumbled in between their kisses, basically breathing the words into his mouth.

"Sure. As long as you keep it this time." Taehyung's nose scrunched joyfully at the deadpan on Jeongguk's face— which only lasted a few seconds before leaning in to kiss him again. "What are you promising?"

Jeongguk pulled away to look at him, staring into his eyes with the care of someone with a golden heart, protective with secure arms around him and all.

"That choosing to be with me will be one of the best risks you ever take, Kim Taehyung."

❧ ❧ ❧

yo roll credits moment

it's official. after 29 freaking chaps.
now i get to actually include some fun shit AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM GAHHH

marshmallows burnt or roasted in your s'mores? burnt gang all the way >:)

170K OMGGG TY ♡
if this book ever hits 200 i'll lose it

✵ NEETO ✵