a/n: violence and mentions of death

❧ Resurfacing Nightmares ❧

"What are you doing here?" The mint haired man clenched his jaw, bone jutting out of his pale skin.

"Eavesdropping." Jimin answered straightforwardly and Taehyung's eyes widened in opposition. "Just curious to see what went down."

"Learn to mind your own business, Park." Yoongi seethed at the words, advancing forward and crowding Jimin's space. Taehyung stumbled away slightly, concerned by all means. "You know, I wouldn't put it past you to have called those cops here, to give us a scare. Is that why you were curious? To see if your plan worked?"

His prior facade of cool was gone in a split second.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jimin denied, throwing his hands into the air and puffing out his chest. "We were just as surprised as you."

"Yeah?" Yoongi glared sharply, meeting Taehyung's eyes and he gulped back the lump in his throat as the imaginary line between them was crossed. The eldest biker stepped up to Taehyung and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him close and baring his anger into Taehyung's face. "Is that true? You really aren't glad to see Namjoon gone?"

"No," Taehyung choked out, truthful in every way. And Yoongi would have to believe him, considering he knew how Taehyung cared for Jeongguk. He ripped his shoulder out of Yoongi's grip, approaching a state of franticness as Jimin pushed Yoongi away from him.

"Don't touch him." Jimin grit out, any lighthearted manner sapped away.

"Aw, what a fragile doll." Yoongi smiled wickedly at the artist. "First, Hoseok coming to your rescue and now Jimin? What are your friends— bodyguards?"

"Hyung," Jeongguk called out to Yoongi and Taehyung felt his chest shake with his deep breath, distorted face meeting Jeongguk's equally emotionally confused expression. "Come on, we have better places to be."

"Fucking asshole." Jimin snipped at the senior biker. "Taehyung's much stronger than us both."

"Jimin, don't." Taehyung's voice was pleading, especially when he didn't feel strong at all. He'd just escaped what felt like the first nightmare of the day with those officers and he wasn't sure where things were going. He usually had good judgement and he didn't see the situation going anywhere good.

"No, you're a coward, Yoongi." His best friend continued anyway, disregarding Taehyung's plea. "Talking shit about Taehyung when you don't know the half of it. He helped you guys in there, too!"

"I'm a coward?" Yoongi hissed in Jimin's face, their chests touching and Taehyung desperately looked at Jeongguk for some sign of stopping the mess. "You don't know anything about me and you're calling me a coward."

Taehyung somewhat believed Yoongi was a coward, to some extent. Hiding behind a blatant lie instead of facing his mistakes. Feeding Jeongguk anything but the truth. Despite what Jeongguk knew of Yoongi's life, Taehyung had every reason to agree with Jimin.

"I said exactly what I said." Jimin answered. "That's what happens when you go beat people up and escape the legal action you deserve."

"Okay, that's it," Jeongguk suddenly stepped between them and Taehyung let out a breath of relief, chest easing. "We're going, Yoongi. Thanks for your fucking opinion, Jimin."

"Gladly." Taehyung slapped Jimin's arm, glaring at his intervention. "Don't slap me for telling him what his pathetic ass needed to hear."

"Oh, fuck you." Yoongi suddenly wrenched his body past Jeongguk's barrier and latched his fingers onto Jimin's collar. Taehyung yelped in surprise as his best friend staggered a few feet in Yoongi's hands, making him curse. "You see, Jimin, I'm not all bark and no bite like you, so watch what you say."

"Please, stop this!" Taehyung stepped up to them, desperate as neither of them even spared him a glance. "Yoongi, come on, leave it be. He's sorry for what he said, okay—"

"Like hell I'm sorry for the truth." Jimin cut him off and Taehyung bit his tongue harshly to refrain from hitting the back of his friend's head himself.

"Jimin, I'm going to kill you." Taehyung muttered under his breath. "Yoongi, let him go."

"Don't tell me what to do, Kim."

"Yoongi," Jeongguk repeated and Taehyung looked past the mint hair to see Jeongguk straddling his bike seat already, helmet under his arm. "Let's go."

Yoongi's head swiveled to catch Jeongguk's gaze, then scanning across to the other two pairs of eyes, face relaxing from its prior resentment, though distaste was still clear. Then, his narrowed eyes shifted to his hands on Jimin's collar and his grip loosened, hands clenching at his sides instead as he stepped away. Taehyung let out a relieved sigh as the biker turned to leave and Jimin was shrugging his shirt back into place.

"Are you out of your mind?" He whispered to Jimin, punching his arm lightly, just to startle him. The older surfer grimaced and stared at him half-apologetically. "Seriously, you're an idiot, Park Jimin—"

Things went to shit faster than Taehyung could comprehend. He saw Yoongi abruptly spin on his heel and hurl himself forward, Taehyung falling away from the sheer force that Yoongi moved with as he slammed into Jimin's chest and sent the younger straight into the brick siding of the diner.

Taehyung, hardly giving any attention to the scrapes on his knees from falling onto the pavement, shouted in opposition as Jimin fell back against the surface with a harsh hit on his shoulder blades.

Jeongguk was clambering off his motorcycle at the uncalled for action, too, nearly racing Taehyung to stop the sudden violent outburst.

Yoongi grabbed Jimin's shirt and wrestled him around again, the surfer gasping for the breath that was knocked out of him. "I refuse to let a fucking surfer call me a pathetic coward." His lips curled, snarl menacing and Taehyung winced at the sting in his legs when he stood. "I'm plenty more bite than bark, Park. So much more."

"Yoongi— Yoongi! Hey, don't do that!" Jeongguk snapped forward to grab the man when Taehyung saw his best friend get slammed against the brick wall a second time. Jimin's head luckily dropped forward so his back took most of the impact, but his heart shattered hearing the cry leave Jimin's mouth. Yoongi brushed Jeongguk aside, unrelenting as the younger biker grew weaker and weaker seeing the fight break out.

"Y-You fucking bastard." Jimin's voice shook with anger as he spoke and Taehyung nearly collided with Jeongguk as Jimin drove his knee upwards and between Yoongi's leg, getting the man's hold around him to slacken enough to knee him once more in the gut and cause Yoongi to double over. "We aren't weak shits, either."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung felt Jeongguk jerk away when they nearly touched, his face pale and ghostly— torn. Fights did nothing good for the man, Taehyung knew that. "Hey, listen to me—"

He saw Yoongi and Jimin's aggressiveness escalate as Yoongi swung a blind arm and landed it on Jimin's side, definitely hard enough to leave a nasty bruise, and Jimin was returning the favor with a sloppy punch into Yoongi's shoulder.

He saw Jeongguk's expression shift like he'd been sparked into an explosive emotion. Especially when Yoongi's face contorted into a different state of pain and Taehyung sucked in a sharp breath remembering the older's shoulder injury that had occurred not long ago.

It certainly couldn't have healed fully in such a short amount of time.

"Fuck," Taehyung was lurching forward to drag Jimin away as he saw Jeongguk rush in between the two.

And, then, the unbelievable happened.

If anyone had told Taehyung that Jeongguk had done it, he wouldn't have believed it. Not in a million years.

But he saw it with his own eyes.

He saw how Jeongguk seemed to forget himself and only see a danger for Yoongi, how Jeongguk kicked Jimin away and nailed a fist into Taehyung's best friend's face. Taehyung simply froze when the impact happened, Jimin staggering back and falling to the ground, hands scraping against the jagged surface as he coughed in pain.

Taehyung just froze. His wide eyes and paling skin accompanied shaky hands, the shock lingering in both his face and the air as Jeongguk's chest heaved, face not even shifting from its state of downright anger.

Jeongguk reeled away and grabbed Yoongi's good arm to hoist him to his feet, asking something, but Taehyung couldn't hear him through the pulse thrumming viciously in his ears.

Taehyung wished someone had just told him so he wouldn't have to believe it. That Jeongguk never touched anyone and that he'd never punched his best friend.

He felt sick in the stomach. From all of it. From how frustrating the past couple of days were, from Jeongguk treating him like shit, for seeing his friend and a biker get into a fight, and then this. Jeongguk, of all people.

His feet worked when his brain short circuited, stumbling over to Jimin. Taehyung fell to his knees by Jimin and cupped the older's face, checking the bruising skin beside bloody lips.

"J-Jimin," he croaked. "Are-Are you okay?"

"I'm— ah, goddamnit — I'm fine," Jimin spurred out, using Taehyung to lean his weight on and stand fully. His friend was grasping the side of his face in pain. Of course, a single punch was taking a toll— none of them surfers were used to getting physically injured by another person. "Shit, that hurts. He's got a killer swing."

Taehyung slackened his hands and turned around when he heard steps clamber down the diner stairs. Hoseok and Jin rounded the corner and gaped at the sight, staring between both sides that were split and damaged.

"Oh my god," Jin's hand covered his mouth, jolting forward to help support Jimin immediately and Taehyung staggered away to catch his breath.

Taehyung felt like falling. He felt like falling through the floor and sinking until he couldn't see the light of day.

Because when Hoseok, stunned and wavering a distance away, connected the dots of Jeongguk's scratched up knuckles and Jimin's injury, Yoongi leaning against a motorcycle for support— his eyes only found the artist's.

Because Taehyung had told him that Jeongguk could be trusted, that Jeongguk was different and yet he'd inflicted pain just like the rest.

His gaze shifted over to the younger biker ten feet from him as Jeongguk's name sprinted through his brain on repeat.

Jeongguk's blazing eyes had cooled, the wash of reality dousing his impulsive action. But he stood still and steady beside Yoongi— exactly where he wished to be.

Taehyung wished he didn't have to believe his own eyes.

And then Jeongguk looked at him. Jeongguk looked at him and his face crumbled like he'd realized what he'd done. Taehyung stayed very still as the biker stepped towards him. "Tae—"

"Don't come any closer." He whispered, seeing Jeongguk's lips part in a silent moment of shock.

"Taehyung, wait—"

"Go. Just leave. Please, leave." He held up a hand and Hoseok was at his side in a second, the two of them facing Yoongi and Jeongguk. The four of them knew. But Jeongguk was caught somewhat oblivious in the middle. Taehyung didn't resist Hoseok's hand pulling him back and the older was taking the lead.

Hoseok was shoving the two away, telling them to get out and Yoongi spit some response in his face, though the break in Jeongguk was nothing but good for what he wanted. Which was nothing but selfish on the older biker's end.

Taehyung couldn't even be mad at Yoongi, though, when Jeongguk had punched Jimin all on his own.

It was only a punch.

But it meant so much more than that.

So much that he didn't even want to look at Jeongguk anymore, attention returning to Jimin as he attempted to reign his heartbroken state inside.

Yoongi and Hoseok argued. They snapped at one another with words muddled in Taehyung's ears.

Eventually, he heard the revs of bike engines speeding away and gone from his sight. Eventually, it was quiet, but Taehyung felt a storm of guilt and disbelief consume him instead. Replacing the quiet with something worse when Hoseok had to hold him upright and he couldn't see past teary eyes.

"I-I'm sorry," he said into the dancer's chest. "I thought— I thought we could trust— I'm sorry—"

"Not now." Hoseok reminded, knowing Jin and Jimin hadn't a clue of Taehyung's acquaintance with Jeongguk. "And we need to help Jimin, yeah? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. Just a few scrapes," Taehyung said hurriedly, pulling away and swiping away thick, burning tears. It all felt like fire on his skin. He felt the tears trickle down to his lips, burn his mouth like Jeongguk's touch had felt. Melting him inside out.

Oh, but the fire he was feeling was painful. Overwhelming and consuming in the worst way possible.

The apologies kept repeating in his head, apologies to his friends and also himself for thinking that things could be different.

But there was nothing he could do in that moment but help Jimin. So, Jin rushed back into the diner to ask Mr.Tuan for his car and they were getting their friend home, dragging him upstairs to rest properly on a bed.

Taehyung sunk into the sheets beside his best friend, brushing the hair away from his peaceful expression. Jimin's cheek had bruised a dark purple in that time. They'd wiped the cut on his lip clean, but he couldn't help but think how Jimin's blood must have stained Jeongguk's knuckles.

That thought made him feel sick in the stomach all over again.

"What happened?" Jin was asking quietly, dragging his painting stool over to the bed to sit.

"H-He—" Taehyung let his head fall back against the headboard, voice quivering with his lips. "We were eavesdropping. It was just Yoongi and Jeongguk talking, but then Yoongi caught us."

"How'd that escalate to a fight?" His brother asked incredulously. Though, they both knew the answer was locked in a common knowledge of dangerous venting.

"He and Jimin were just arguing and then he— Yoongi rammed him against the wall. They started fighting, but then— then—"

He choked up and Jin rubbed his knee. "It's okay. Take a deep breath. Jimin's okay."

Jimin would be fine. Taehyung wasn't worried about that. There was so much more wrong with what happened, though.

"T-The officers," Taehyung said instead, using the back of his hand to wipe his face. "They, uh, they got Namjoon. I think they're posting his bail tomorrow. I just— Jeongguk, Hyung, he just—"

"Hey, Jin," Hoseok was suddenly in the bedroom doorway and both brothers turned to him. "Can I talk to you?"

Taehyung get a rush of relief wash over him as Jin nodded and hugged him before leaving. Taehyung didn't really want to explain what had happened and Hoseok smiled at him, briefly and sympathetically, before disappearing with his older brother.

He glanced at Jimin and then at the setting sun outside the balcony doors.

Yoongi and Namjoon didn't know as far as Taehyung was aware. Jeongguk was on his own and Taehyung somehow didn't feel bad.

Because he'd tried to get the younger to understand just as much as he'd tried to understand Jeongguk and it'd never processed. What more could he possibly do at that point?

~•४•~

When he slipped out of the covers, Jimin was passed out, stomach full from eating what he could with an aching jaw.

His feet were slow and mouse-like as he tried to prevent any creaks to sound from the floorboard. He hadn't eaten when his friend had, insisting he would later, but the hunger caught up to him with a slow grumble in his stomach as he tread down the steps.

The glass panes on either side of the front door, Taehyung noticed as he walked past them, were dark, only light from the moon and two small lampposts bleeding inside. He continued down the hallway and slowed in movement when he saw the spill of warm kitchen lights contradict the cool spill of moonlight from the glass windows along the back wall, too.

"Tae?" Hoseok's voice called out to him from the kitchen when his shadow passed into visible sight. Taehyung stepped out from behind the wall and leaned against the surface at his side. "Hey."

"Hi," he said, softly. "Are you cooking something?"

"Depends if you're hungry or not." His friend chuckled and Taehyung mustered a small smile at the kindness transmitting in Hoseok grabbing an extra plate for him. "Sit down."

He took a seat at the countertop's bar stool, caving in on himself tiredly. His hands reached for the stray sweater sitting on another unoccupied chair and he slid it on, recognizing Jin's clothing as it hung loose on him. The warmth was settling as he watched Hoseok plate two sandwiches for them both, the clatter of a knife and scraping of a plate filling the void of sound.

"Here you go," the older slid the plate before him, grabbing a bag of potato chips from the snack cabinet and placing it between them. "I know it's an excuse of dinner, but—"

"It's perfect. Thanks, Hyung." Taehyung cut off, teeth sinking into the bread with a sense of urgency to fuel up.

Hoseok dumped some chips on his plate and sat on the stool next to him, quiet again besides his jaw crunching on the crispy potatoes.

"Jimin's sleeping?"

Taehyung gulped down the bite in his mouth and nodded. "Mhm. For the last hour or so. Hasn't budged."

"Medicine definitely kicked in, too." Hoseok sighed, using one hand to messily pick up the sandwich and chomp down on it.

"Why didn't you eat sooner?" Taehyung asked instead, pulling a leg up to hug to his chest and looking at the clock above the stove. "It's nearly eleven."

"I was with Jin Hyung." Hoseok shrugged. "Wasn't feeling soup, but I wasn't in the mood to crush Hyung's spirits so I waited until he head to sleep."

Taehyung smiled again at the words, Hoseok laughing quietly along with him. Taehyung became steadily aware of the crashing waves in their backyard as a breeze bristled at their shrubs, wind hitting the glass audibly. "Does he have to get up early tomorrow?"

"He's got a call. With the law firm he interned at? I don't remember exactly but it sounded important."

Right. Taehyung suddenly remembered how they'd managed to pull an extra few weeks at the beach. Jin was working from there and he was supposed to be getting back on his board. Or at least, trying to.

"You know what I realized when he was on the phone?" Hoseok continued, voice sad and the tone worried Taehyung greatly.

"What?"

"He's graduating next year, Tae." Hoseok stated, like the consequences were obvious. "He'll be working full time next summer. And every summer after that."

Taehyung sucked in a sharp breath, tensing as he did understand the implications of that. His brother wouldn't be able to take an entire month off like they had been since they were little kids. Maybe a couple weeks at most, but that was stretching it.

"The year after that, it's me. And then, you and Minie. We're not going to be able to come out here like we always have." Hoseok scratched his head, suddenly apologetic. "That was a mood killer, sorry."

But the mood had been killed hours ago.

A spark of self-hatred his him as he realized he'd gone and fucked things up all over again.

It was likely his brother's last summer spending a lengthy block of time by the shore, surfing, and Taehyung was making a mess of it. Not just for Jin, but for Hoseok and Jimin, too.

Maybe if Taehyung hadn't helped the bikers out in the diner, the officers wouldn't have pieced anything together, they wouldn't have noticed that the bikers had left and then Taehyung wouldn't have been stunned and rushed out, Jimin wouldn't have followed him, Yoongi wouldn't have jumped his best friend, and, in turn, Jeongguk—

"Taehyung," Hoseok suddenly reached for his trembling hand and Taehyung blinked harshly as his fingers dropped the deformed sandwich he'd been gripping too hard. "What's wrong?"

"It's all my fault, Hyung." He whispered, regardless of the older's words. Taehyung pulled his hand out of Hoseok's hold to bury his face into his palms, plate sliding back as his elbows took its place on the counter. "God, all these screw ups— first, drowning, and now this? I just— I keep ruining this summer for you guys and—"

"Hey," Hoseok shook his head, smile small and Taehyung wanted to beg him for a bit of the optimism the dancer reigned to be able to just curve his lips upward. "This is not your fault. Drowning wasn't your fault and neither was Jimin getting hurt."

"Wasn't it though? I knew it wasn't safe to go out in that storm and I did anyway. I knew I shouldn't have involved myself with the bikers' issues with the officers and I did that anyway, too. Look how great that turned out."

"Taehyung, you didn't know what was going to happen, right? I know damn well that if you knew you were going to drown, you wouldn't have gone out surfing. Same applies to earlier today." He hated that Hoseok was right. Because it was somehow easier to blame himself than have no one to blame at all. "Don't blame yourself. It really hurts to see you do that."

"M'sorry." He whispered, head hanging low and Hoseok sighed aloud before tugging him off his stool and into his arms. Taehyung stood limp as Hoseok hugged him, hand rubbing up and down his back, patting it comfortingly.

"Don't apologize." Hoseok leaned away and ruffled his hair while shaking his own. "Tell me how you're feeling."

Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest as he stepped away to give them some space, more for himself so he could think without wanted to hide in someone's arms again. "I'm just mad. I don't really know at who or what. I guess... I guess it's just frustrating not knowing what to think."

Hoseok pursed his lips, rubbing nervous hands together. "I hate to bring it up, but I have to know, Tae. Did Jeongguk really hurt Jimin?"

Taehyung blinked once, confused for a moment at the question until he realized that Hoseok hadn't actually seen it happen. Only the aftermath. Of course, the older had his suspicions which was why he was treating it like the truth, but Taehyung didn't blame him for wanting to know.

"H-He did. It just seemed so out of nature. He exploded when Yoongi got nailed and, then... yeah." His voice swooped, hardly audible. "He punched Jimin in the face."

"I think you should talk to him." Hoseok admitted and Taehyung's head jerked up to protest. The older held up a hand before he could. "You convinced me Jeongguk wouldn't hurt you and now you're saying the aggression wasn't a normal way for him to react. I think that justifies an explanation, Taehyung."

"I don't know if I can talk to him right now." Taehyung mumbled, the words spinning in his head at the idea of seeing Jeongguk's face. He shuddered thinking of the anger laced eyes he'd witnessed earlier, so gone in the moment that nothing else had mattered.

"I think you can," Hoseok grimaced. "You don't want to."

"Same difference." Taehyung let his head gently hit the cold countertop. "I just know I'll probably explode. I'm pretty pissed at him for that."

"I get that." And Taehyung knew he did. Even more so when Hoseok was on some terms with Yoongi and the mint haired man had hurt two of his friends in just a few days.

"What do I do, Hyung?"

"I think he needs to hear your thoughts regardless of how it comes out. If it's messy, so be it, but you can't just downplay what happened." Hoseok rubbed his forehead tiredly, taking another bite of his sandwich. "I'm probably speaking with a bias, though, since I've only ever spoken personally to Yoongi and there's no way to get to his head other than giving him a taste of his own medicine."

Jeongguk was nothing like Yoongi. Taehyung knew that deep down. But on the surface, that line seemed to blur having seen the events of earlier that day. Jeongguk had seemed just like Yoongi. The same Yoongi Taehyung had been terrified of and the same Jeongguk he had thought he'd found a friend in.

There really wasn't any other way to handle the situation than to confront him. Despite Taehyung knowing he'd only be angry seeing Jeongguk's face.

"Woah— wait, where are you going?" Hoseok asked when he hurried around the counter and left his half eaten sandwich be. "Taehyung, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to go talk to him." Taehyung was slipping on his shoes, sliding open the back doors that lead to the patio. "If he'll be where I think he is."

Hoseok pursed his lips and nodded curtly, worry etched deep in his face.

"Hey," Taehyung spun around hearing Hoseok call out to him. "Be careful. I'll wait around until you get back."

"Hyung, it's okay." Taehyung assured. "I'll be safe, but you should go to bed."

The younger didn't wait to see Hoseok shake his head that time, having already made up his mind about being there when Taehyung stepped back into the surfers' home.

Because his advice may fail even it was the only plausible way to go about things. It wasn't something to brush under the rug.

Hoseok didn't know what else to give Taehyung in terms of advice. He just knew Jeongguk wasn't anything like Yoongi. And on top of that, his and Yoongi's interactions was nothing like Taehyung's and the younger biker.

Their connection was much deeper. With much more to lose.

~•४•~

The further Taehyung walked, the closer he got to the diner, the deeper his anger drilled within. It was beyond just wanted an answer for why Jeongguk would ever do that. It was shattering every resolve he'd used to push himself to approach the younger that first night so long ago and now he was fueled by frustrations to do the same so many nights later.

So, by the time he brushed past the motorcycle in the lot, Jeongguk's presence solidifying that he was going to face the younger, Taehyung knew he was going to explode. He didn't know how else to address the betrayal he felt in Jeongguk hurting one of the people he cared for most.

Taehyung's steps were hurried but steady, face blank as he approached the biker sitting on the sand, hunched over. Jeongguk's right hand was bandaged. He was running fingers through his hair, the raised limb making the leather reflect light into the creases.

He suddenly hated that leather. He couldn't appreciate the way it shone, the way the younger's muscles strained the material. He couldn't appreciate how it looked on Jeongguk.

He couldn't even appreciate the man wearing it.

Jeongguk's gaze snapped up when his approaching steps became audible against the tide's crashed. There was a second of some relief in his eyes as the raised arm fell to his side and Jeongguk rose to his feet.

"Taehyung, you came—"

"What the hell, Jeongguk?"

The biker's body tensed, jolting upright in the midst of standing, and stared on wordlessly. He'd assumed his distress wasn't necessary, but Taehyung was relentless in proving that wrong.

"Why did you fucking punch him—?"

"Jimin's fine, right?"

"Fuck you. Fuck you, Jeongguk." Taehyung's blank expression broke, lips curling downward as his voice stooped in the midst of seething. "He's going to be fine, no thanks to you."

"Okay, yeah, you're pissed." The voice said absentmindedly, turning to face the shoreline for a second before looking at him again.

"What did you expect? Me to be happy you hurt my best friend?"

"Your best friend was all over mine." Jeongguk mumbled. "I wasn't going to sit idle."

"Beyond that— you... you hurt someone, Jeongguk." He repeated, pointing out the bigger problem that hung between them. Jimin would be fine, but Jeongguk had broken a great deal of trust.

Taehyung had told himself from the start that the youngest biker wasn't like the rest. He could trust Jeongguk not to lay a painful hand on him because the younger vowed never to do so.

And here they were.

"I know." Jeongguk's voice was strained, fingers digging into his nape to latch onto his neck. "I did."

"And you're fine with that?"

"Well, no, of course not. But that's my problem, not yours." The biker let his hand fall abruptly, voice rising in volume from before. "Stop making me think about it twice as much."

"You don't get to tell me to stop talking about it." Taehyung retaliated, taking a step away and clenching his jaw. "Not when it involves you guys hurting Jimin for no reason."

"No reason? I never asked you to get in the middle of that!" Jeongguk shot back, stepping forward to make up for Taehyung's distancing. "You and Jimin shouldn't have been snooping around and aggravating the situation so none of it—"

"Okay, what he was saying wasn't good. I get that and I'm sorry about it. But that was no reason for Yoongi to take the physical route."

"You already know there's only one way Yoongi vents. There wasn't much else I could do. Jimin hurt Yoongi and I snapped. End of story."

"You just snapped?" He repeated incredulously. "So that's it? If you get mad enough, it's okay to just snap on someone? Not to mention, Jimin was defending himself and you intervene to land a punch to his face— that's definitely not okay, Jeongguk!"

And the biker was walking contradiction. He wouldn't admit that fear and panic drove his actions and, past his anger, Taehyung wished he would just let himself be vulnerable. Admit to making a mistake and take ownership of it.

"I know it's not, Taehyung! I know. I'm not happy with myself, can't you see that?" But Taehyung couldn't. He could only hear Jeongguk being defensive and Jeongguk picked up on it right away. "No, of course you don't. All you see is me fucking up. Why would you care?"

"Because you just make excuses!" Taehyung raked a hand through his hair, tugging it one point to make his scalp burn. "That was the police, Jeongguk, not some random bar visitor you can just run away from. They had just taken Namjoon to be questioned, for fuck's sake, and Yoongi was already finding a target? We would never call them like that and then you guys jump us for it?"

"It was a valid concern. And Yoongi just lashed out before he thought about it."

"Well, you're doing that shit again. Where you overlook what's right in favor of the easy path." Taehyung grit out. "I helped you out of there with a distraction. Why the hell would I do that if us surfers had called them in the first—"

"I don't believe it anymore, okay? Whatever— you didn't call the police. None of you did. But you shouldn't have done anything. 'Cause now you're putting the consequences of your choice on me."

"Didn't have to do a thing." The surfer stepped forward and laughed dryly. "Jeongguk, why would I just let you get hurt? I chose to help you in that moment, which is why I'm mad. You went and made it backfire anyway."

"Why did you choose to help if you're just going to complain, huh?"

He paused for a moment, considered the question. "You're right. I don't know why I helped you. Actually, I almost jeopardized my future by doing that."

"What are you talking about?" Jeongguk blinked, lips curling down in confusion.

Taehyung tipped his head back to avert his eyes, breath slow and deep as his head turned up towards the stars. He wasn't sure if he could get through it, but he had to give the man a piece of his mind. At least voice his thoughts. Anything but letting it slide.

"Those officers almost caught my bluff when I helped you out." He looked back down at Jeongguk. "I could have gotten reprimanded trying to help you. Probably even marked up for that! So, yeah, sorry if I'm upset that my entire future almost veered off course in the span of one day."

"Your entire future?" he echoed. "One mark on your perfectly clean record is not going to ruin your life, Taehyung."

Taehyung reeled back in offense. "It's enough to cost me my scholarship when they're strict on the rules to keep it. And that scholarship is my life. Jeongguk, I've already told you I can't risk that when it's all I have to go to art school!"

"Art school. That doesn't— your life doesn't depend on a fucking college scholarship, Taehyung."

"I've told you how much it means, I can't pursue art without it, without the exposure and lessons— my parents— you already know this! Why the hell am I explaining myself to you? The scholarship is important, and I'll be damned if I let it get taken away, Jeongguk."

"Then, you shouldn't get involved with my life, should you?" Jeongguk hissed. "Clearly caring puts too much at risk for you."

"I do care." His brows furrowed. "I wouldn't have spent weeks with you if I didn't."

"What exactly do you even care about, Taehyung?"

"I care that you're throwing your life away. I care that you'll end up in jail keeping this up, Jeongguk. Namjoon's literally going to have to be bailed out tomorrow." His voice was strained, forced through the narrow pipes of a clogged throat. "This is not living, this is just ruining."

"No, you don't get to decide how I live," Jeongguk spoke lowly, regretting asking the surfer his question upon hearing the response.

"Shut the fuck up about me telling you what to do. I'm telling you what you need to hear after you hurt my friend, Jeongguk. You need to hear how stupid this all is. You need to hear it because you're pretending not to see it."

"So what? Is this your tipping point with me? That tipped you over the edge and now you're done putting up with me? Like I'm some burden, right?"

"No— you're not a burden. I'm just telling you that this life isn't good and you need to change it before you're stuck behind bars!"

"Then, how about I tell you that you need to stop living in the future all the time? You love a good thrill, Taehyung, but you're mentally trapped in the same space. Scholarship this, art that— you're hung up on your useless future!"

Taehyung's heart fell into his stomach, breaths heavy as silence overtook the initial few moments. But, then, all he could do was smile. He smiled sadly and shook his head. "You know what? I'm used to hearing that. I've heard those words a hundred times from my damn parents. I'm so fucking used to hearing how useless it all is."

"Good, so hear it one more time and let me do what the hell I want. I'm tired of you 'putting up with me'," he sealed the words with air quotes and Taehyung felt like he'd been punched, "and then giving me an earful for it."

"This isn't about me. I'm not letting you forget that you can't end up in jail. Whether you're trying to live your everyday, I can't let you forget a future exists, Jeongguk."

"And I'm not letting you forget that you're wasting your everyday."

"Well, guess what!" Taehyung laughed sarcastically, tears blurring his vision. He wasn't sad. He was frustrated. Overly disappointed he'd thought anything of the man; or their friendship for that matter. "At least I'm not breaking laws and beating people up. At least I actually know when a risk is too much."

"I don't care."

Taehyung wanted to blurt out words his heart refrained him from saying. He wanted to badly to ask if the person from Jeongguk's past would ever see him and be glad this was the life he was living for them both. Taehyung was certain that answer was no.

But he didn't go that far to cut into Jeongguk's wound.

"Then, I don't know how you expect to live in the real world, Jeongguk." He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "I thought— I thought maybe I could help you. Learn who you were. You're not just a leather jacket, Jeongguk. You're a whole other person behind it and you're too stubborn to consider that. You're not even giving yourself the chance to live a better life."

"Stop saying that!" Jeongguk suddenly exclaimed. "Stop saying that bullshit like I'm broken parts needing to be fixed. I don't need fixing, Taehyung!"

"I never even mentioned fixing! That's never been my intention. It was always just treating you differently than everyone else does. Not treating you like a problem to avoid. Finding that side of you that no one else gets to see— I want to help, not fix. If you don't see the difference, that's not my problem."

"Taehyung, I don't want your help. When did I ever say I wanted a surfer's help?"

"So, that's it? I'm just a surfer. I'm—" Taehyung let a strangled sound tumble out of his mouth. "Is this because I accused Yoongi? Are you trying to get back at me for that?"

"No."

"Then why? Why, Jeongguk? Why are you so cold all of a sudden? It seems like you're putting whatever I butt heads with over me and it's not fair. How could you just break your own pact— a promise you made to the both of us? I know this isn't you—"

"You don't know me, Taehyung."

"Like hell I don't!" He retaliated. "I know you have a fucking heart. I know you enjoy my company, that you enjoy talking more than touching, that you hate hurting people. I know you trust me more than most people— and maybe I don't know you like Yoongi and Namjoon do, but at least I'm not encouraging you to put up walls and act invincible!"

"Don't bring them into this."

"They're the reason I'm here. For what they haven't done for you."

"And ignore everything they have?" Jeongguk's jaw clenched, arms crossed. "Why am I suddenly the shittiest person to exist? I know you like my company. Hell, you don't kiss people casually so I guess that makes me special, doesn't it? And let's not forget, I saved your damn life, Taehyung."

"Don't you dare guilt trip me. You don't get to use that as an excuse to do awful things!" Taehyung's voice suddenly softened, throat choking up and he hardly managed to get his words out. "You—You told me you wouldn't hurt anyone. You said you wouldn't give me a reason to hate you, but— Jeongguk, you gave me that reason."

"And now I have to live with that. I know— fuck, Taehyung, you saw Yoongi's shoulder get hit. I had to step in!"

Taehyung was on the edge of losing his mind. Everything felt like it was spinning as a shiver wracked through his body. "You never admit to your mistakes, Jeongguk. Is it so difficult to leave the excuses aside and actually see you did wrong?"

Taehyung took a deep breath, pulling his senses back to regain himself.

"Can't you just apologize? Just... just admit it and fix it? Why can't you?"

"Because—" Jeongguk's mouth hung open like the words were there, but he couldn't finish his sentence. His lips clamped shut and he was scowling, frustrated just like the older standing a foot away. "I hate your lectures, Kim Taehyung."

The biker stepped forward again and Taehyung's eyes widened as the distance between them lessened. He didn't move, stood his ground as Jeongguk narrowed into his space. His eyes were blazing again. Taehyung had only ever seen Jeongguk so put off once before, and that was hours ago.

"I was protecting Yoongi."

"Yoongi can protect himself and we are both well aware of that." Taehyung muttered. "It's another excuse. That's all this is."

"It's not!" Jeongguk snapped a hand out and Taehyung flinched as it latches onto his arm. He jerked at the biker's grip, lips parting in a silent cry. "Taehyung, you're supposed to help me, too, and you're just accusing me. I'm not— that didn't feel good and it hurts. I hurt someone, Taehyung."

"I'm not going to comfort you when you don't give a shit about hurting Jimin except for your selfish reasons." He said firmly, tugging his arm in some silent request for Jeongguk to release it.

"So everything's forgotten." Jeongguk said again, nodding despite the disbelief. "I saved your life, helped you with your fear— it doesn't mean anything to you."

"It means everything to me." Taehyung shook his head hurriedly, a cry leaving his lips. "But tell me how the hell I can trust you when you told me you won't hurt anyone— when you're scared of blood— and now you're standing here with cuts and bruises after hurting my best friend."

"I hardly hurt him."

Jeongguk's voice betrayed the casualness of his words. Taehyung could see the point crack into Jeongguk's heart through his emotional eyes.

"I don't give two shits about how much you hurt him."

And because Taehyung didn't seem to care, Jeongguk's walls went up.

"A million good things lost to one bad choice?" Jeongguk chuckled, brows raised in a mocking manner. "Of course. That really balances it out."

"What are you trying to say?" The biker's grip on his arm tightened in moments and Taehyung's breath hitched, a lurch of pain shifting through his arm. "J-Jeongguk, that hurts— let go of my arm—"

"Maybe I shouldn't have saved you that day." Jeongguk's tongue scraped his inner cheek and Taehyung felt his heart stop. It stopped like it had stopped kicking and it sunk through the ocean of his gut and all the way into the ground. His resistance to Jeongguk's tight grip slackened in shock. "My life would be fine and normal and I wouldn't be justifying something stupid for you. Maybe I should have just watched you go down and never surface. Nothing good comes out of helping people anyway."

Taehyung's breathing staggered, tears finally slipping past his waterline, as Jeongguk released his arm and he stumbled back a step.

"Y-You're lying," the surfer whispered, a rush of fear cutting into his chest as the crushing wave slammed into him again, rain making his vision go blind and fear forcing him under. Forcing him under forever. Taehyung laughed airily, reaching for the sunlight that was equivalent to something proving the words he heard weren't real. "No, you have to be lying. You would have saved me whether you knew it was me or not. Like any sane and able person— you—"

Jeongguk's expression didn't waver a single notion and Taehyung let out a small sob, lips quivering.

"You're not lying." He realized, the tears slipping down his cheeks in painful stings cutting through his skin. "You wish I died that day?"

Jeongguk reached a hand out to touch him and Taehyung leaned away from the touch, a flicker of hurt flashing through his eyes just like earlier.

"I don't mean it like that." Jeongguk finally said. "I just... I just—"

"Don't." Taehyung choked out, breathing quickening until his shoulders shuddered and knees wobbled under him. He felt like he was going to fall. "Goddamnit, Jeongguk, that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard you say."

"Taehyung, I didn't mean it like that."

"Shut up. Either you explain how you did mean it or you just fucking admit you wished I wasn't standing here." His tears fell steadily in spite of the twist in emotion. "That's better than that cryptic response you're giving me now."

Jeongguk's mouth opened and closed, dumbfounded by other words such that all he could say again was, "I don't mean it like that."

And the biker sounded like a broken record.

Taehyung laughed bitterly and grabbed his shoes from the sand, shaking the sand off of them. He dusted down his shirt despite his hardly visible view through blurry eyes, sniffing back all the suddenly congested sinuses. "Jeongguk— you— you just don't mean anything. All stupid games and when there's consequences, there's just others to blame and hurt. Fuck everyone else over instead of being in the wrong. See how many people stick around you with that method? I can count on my one goddamn hand."

"Taehyung..."

"First, Yoongi fooling you and hurting me, then Jimin, and now this? You regret saving me because it made your life more difficult?" Taehyung nodded, deep breath shaky as it lifted through his windpipe and out of his nose and mouth. "I really did trust you and I really enjoyed your company for a while, Jeongguk, but the way you ruin how people perceive you is unbelievable. And for what? To one day be stuck in jail with your precious leather?" His voice lowered, disappointment tinging every part of his tone. "I wonder what kind of person you were before you ever put on that jacket, honestly."

And maybe he just wanted to hit back at the younger for wishing ill on his surfing incident. To bring back Jeongguk's rough family situation before he found comfort in his motorcycle and leather. Jeongguk hadn't liked his life back then, and Taehyung knew his words would hurt. He wanted them to.

"Hey," Jeongguk said, unconvincingly, as the surfer moved to leave, grabbing his wrist. Taehyung pretended he didn't hear the break in his voice as his arm slipped out of Jeongguk's grasp.

"Good luck in life, you selfish piece of shit." Taehyung shoved past the younger, throat involuntarily choking up another time as his shoulder hit Jeongguk's leather arm before walking by and heading back to the paved roads to go home.

Each step Taehyung took made both their hearts weigh heavier. Heavier until it weighed them down so harshly, it ached in their chests and chained them to a stinging reality.

Taehyung was sobbing with more vigor as he caved in on himself, tormented by flashbacks of the accident and death replaying over and over, and over again. It made his senses go numb, quite rightfully so, as he succumbed to the chilling feeling of feeling nothing at all as his life was imaginatively sucked away.

Hoseok was pacing the front porch when he hit the driveway, the dancer pausing and rushing down to Taehyung to hold him. Quieting him. Keeping him warm in the cold sea engulfing his mind.

It wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as Jeongguk's arms hoisted him out of the waves, a feeling that still tingled on his skin, while the image of birds' wings kept him afloat above the water.

And Jeongguk? Well, Taehyung didn't stay around long enough for the biker's own horror of Taehyung's wrist slipping from his hold to play flashbacks in parallel with his stricken nightmare from a year and a half ago.

His hold on someone slipping away a second time.

Taehyung never saw how the crushing understanding of his actions, even his words, hit Jeongguk when the nightmare resurfaced— how the biker stared at his trembling hands, one bandaged from doing exactly what he'd vowed he wouldn't. How his stomach flipped and skin chilled knowing he'd brought blood through the surface of someone's skin. How his head rang with the drumming pain of knowing his words could hurt more than a punch ever had.

They were both thrown into a sea of nightmares and left to withstand them without one another.

But there was only so much you could fend off without your anchor.

❧ ❧ ❧

impulsively posting because i struggled writing the argument sm and idk why </3
i hope tae's side is understandable because that was brutally misunderstood the first time around :') (to be fair it was very different lol)

ily guys and hope you're having a great day!! <33

✵ NEETO ✵