❧ Unburying the Unhealed ❧

Taehyung pushed into the front door of the diner, the small bell jingling as the lit room greeted him. The chairs were already up on the tables, floor mopped clean. He heard the sink running and his eyes caught the old man cleaning when he rounded the corner.

"Hey, Mr.Tuan."

The sink shut off abruptly, the named man whirling around to acknowledge him. "Taehyung, you're here early."

"Nah," he chuckled, grabbing the stray cleaning rag and moving to wipe down the counter. "Jeongguk's just late."

"Ah. Smoothie?"

"Nah, not tonight. Jimin ate plenty of ice cream with me to cheer up just a bit ago."

Mr.Tuan nodded and switched to drying off the glasses he'd just been rinsing. "How is everything? I heard about what happened with Hoseok this afternoon."

"Hasn't really talked to me, but I hope he'll come around." Taehyung scraped off a dried patch of blueberry guts from the counter and continued on. "How was the evening rush?"

"Fairly relaxed today, which was nice. Are you alright, son?"

"I'm fine. I just don't understand why Hoseok's so upset." He admitted. "Sure, Yoongi kicked me, it hurt, but not enough for Hyung to get so mad."

"Maybe bring it up when he's ready to talk." The elder stacked the glasses and tucked them into the corner of the counter. "I'm positive he'll be honest with you."

"Will he, though?"

"What does that mean, Taehyung?"

"I can lie to a lot more easily than I thought," he pointed out. "Who's to say Hoseok can't and won't?"

"He won't hold a grudge against you without a valid reason." Mr.Turn shook his head, taking the rag from him and waving him off. "Hoseok loves you, Tae. He's clearly just mad at those boys like usual and it rubbed off wrong."

"He does trust me. He's just looking out for me." He drew small circles on the counter. "Makes me feel bad."

"Do you think they would understand if you told them?" The elder's eyes met him, full of seriousness that made Taehyung swallow thickly. "If you explained that Jeongguk's helping you, that you're friends. Separate him from their wrongdoings."

Taehyung's lips curved down, heart drumming in his chest. "Honestly, Mr.Tuan, I don't think that's as easy as you're making it seem. They've only ever seen the frustrating side of Jeongguk. M'sure it makes imagining anything else difficult."

"You did it."

"I had an incentive to dig deeper. He saved my life. Hyungs don't have any reason to not judge him when they want nothing to do with him."

"But if they knew you were acquainted with Jeongguk, maybe they'd think differently about him."

"What if they think differently of me?"

The words were spoken in a hushed manner, cracking slightly at the nervousness of hurting years of friendship. But it was exactly that. Years of friendship. Years of trust and love that overruled judgement in a heartbeat.

"Don't think so little of the people who care for you most, Taehyung." Mr.Tuan tutted, walking around the counter and sitting beside him. Taehyung smiled softly as the man took his hand. "Think about it. They have good reason to be fed up with those bikers, but they have better reasons to trust you."

"I guess I'll try asking Hoseok Hyung. And I'll think about it," Taehyung mumbled, straightening on the bar stool and shifting side to side.

He wasn't sure how much he believed his own words. He didn't think it would end well, no matter what Mr.Tuan said to him. Taehyung doubted he would say a word to them, but the implications of that secret dragging on gnawed at him.

"Hey, Mr.Tuan?"

"That's me."

The surfer pursed his lips, throat tight. "Don't the bikers cause trouble for you? Disrupt the customers and become problems for the diner?"

"Why are you asking me this?" Mr.Tuan had stilled, leaning against the counter and giving his old body a chance to relax.

"Just wondering why you put up with them if you say my hyungs have good reasons to hate them."

The man raised a brow as his wrinkly skin stretched with the action. "Well, why do you put up with Jeongguk?"

"Hey, you can't turn my own question on me!" Taehyung frowned, to which Mr.Tuan simply chuckled. "I've been wondering for a while, Mr.Tuan."

"We both know there's some good in Jeongguk." The elder hummed softly, face relaxing, brow setting back in place. "I've known him a year and half longer than you have, son."

What?

"A year and a half?" Taehyung's eyes bulged out of their sockets. He'd always wondered about their relationship and here he was being told they'd met in some off-summer months. Before the bikers had crashed his hyung's summer last year? So Jeongguk had met Mr.Tuan before they showed up at the beach?

"It's not my place to talk about it." Mr.Tuan shrugged. "That's a story for Jeongguk to tell, and only him. But I know he's a good kid, whether he hangs around those other two for better or worse."

Taehyung wanted to shake it out of Mr.Tuan, curiosity gnawing at him. He'd finally gotten something and he knew Jeongguk probably wouldn't tell him anything. He figured he could ask, but it wasn't likely getting a solid answer knowing the younger.

"I think it's hurting him." He stated his stance on the matter. "They are hurting him, I mean."

"And what makes you so certain?"

"He gets all cold and annoying when he's with them! Then, Yoongi wants to rip my head off because Jeongguk has started becoming less like that around me— isn't that just controlling?" Taehyung huffed. "Not to mention the stealing and beating people up."

"You shouldn't call Yoongi controlling." Mr.Tuan shook his head. "I don't approve of their reckless behavior either, but their relationship is much deeper than just partners in crime."

"I know." Taehyung let his arms cross on the counter, burying his head in them. "I know they've been there for him when no one else was, but that doesn't mean he can't make his own decisions."

"He's told you about that?" Mr.Tuan seemed genuinely surprised and Taehyung froze. Was he not supposed to talk about that? Well, Mr.Tuan clearly knew about it so Taehyung figured it was alright.

"Yeah, he told me. Kind of an impulsive accident on his part, but he doesn't seem to care that I know."

"Oh."

The elder didn't seem to have any words to return to him. Instead, he circled back to Taehyung's previous words.

"You don't know if Jeongguk isn't making his own decisions." The diner owner corrected, sliding off his stool to continue his cleaning behind the counter. "Look, Taehyung. I know there's good in him, but his home is with those boys. You can't expect someone to leave their home behind in a heartbeat."

"I mean..." he raised his brows and muttered under his breath. It hadn't been difficult for his parents to emotionally force him out of the family. Taehyung wasn't sure that Mr.Tuan knew. Not when they seemed like good parents to Taehyung in his old eyes.

By the lack of connection eminent in the elder's expression, Taehyung figured he didn't. So he asked instead, "Do you think that makes him dangerous?"

"Maybe." Mr.Tuan's voice was weary, drawn out and mixing with the soft scrape of the rag brushing against the cabinets. "But if you believed that, you wouldn't be meeting him every night."

"I don't know, Sir," he lifted his head from his arms and blinked as the old man leaned against the counter, rag tossed in the sink to wash out. "He's still involved with them. Like bully bystanders, but worse? He get in with the action if people are involved and I just don't know."

"You do get along with him, though."

"I don't?" Taehyung scuffed his toe on the foot bar of the stool. "We argue like every chance we get."

"You bicker. It's normal. It's funny, I won't lie." The man laughed and Taehyung groaned. "He's very forward and you're not used to it."

"He's forward with any person attractive in his eyes." The surfer grumbled. "And we have seriously argued."

"That's a given, son. Extremely expected. You two are like polar opposites."

"Tell me about it." His hand ruffled through the fluffy strands of hair. "We get along differently than normal people do, I guess."

"Also expected. You're calculating and he's impulsive."

He inhaled sharply. "Damn, Mr.Tuan. How much do you know?"

"I know that the both of you are ridiculous youngsters." The man sent him a teasing look and Taehyung hid his face in his hands. "You do enjoy time with him."

"Sometimes." His muffled voice sounded. "More often than not? I think?"

"Then what worries you?"

"If it becomes less enjoyable. More painful than the few times it has been. I guess if I decide that whatever type of relationship I have with him sucks and I can't do it. If I push him away because his worse sides scare me."

The old man didn't reply right away.

"You're good for him, Taehyung. Whether you want to see that or not."

"What do you mean? I ruin his sleep schedule." The halfhearted snort made Mr.Tuan feign amusement.

"You're good for him because I get to spend more time with him." The man grinned and Taehyung almost scowled. "Didn't come by the diner as often as he does now. Same goes for you. I get to see the both of you more often when you're the most relaxed you's I've seen at the beach."

Taehyung was glad he didn't scowl. His expression softened and a gentle smile grew instead. "Really? You think I'm the most me out here at night?"

"You're open when you're out here at this hour, Taehyung. Quite honestly, it makes me feel a bit relieved when you don't keep it in." Mr.Tuan mirrored his appreciation. "Jeongguk... well, he's not causing trouble around here at night. That's for sure."

"Thanks, Mr.Tuan. And yeah, he's definitely less aggravating at these hours."

"The Jeongguk we know isn't what everyone else ends of seeing, is it?" Mr.Tuan smiled rather pitifully and Taehyung grimaced. He knew that, too. He thought about it everyday. "I do think that part's a wasted opportunity."

"Same." He rubbed his head and leaned back on the seat to swivel around and gaze out the back doors. The string lights blurred the horizon, but he could see the faint shoreline drenched with each passing tide.

"How's the work on your fear, son?"

Taehyung hummed softly and glanced over his shoulder as Mr.Tuan began counting the change in the register and tip jar. "Good. I've gone to my neck. I hope I can go fully under soon. Need to work on swimming, too."

"I'm glad. It'll be very nice seeing you surf again." He said. "As much as I love you working around here, I know you want to get on the water."

"What gave it away?" Taehyung chuckled.

"Mark was telling me about it. Told me he saw you drawing waves in your sketchbook when there weren't any customers at the counter. He was upset about it. Just sad for you."

His smile fell.

Pity. God, he'd come to hate the pity. He knew it wasn't Mark's fault considering the dancer didn't know Taehyung was working on it, but he hated the pity anyway.

He'd much rather have encouragement. Words that told him he could do it, not join his sad dwelling.

Jeongguk was honestly terrible at that, but he managed to do it in his own shitty way.

"What's wrong?"

"I've already told you that I told the others I'm working on my fear. I should tell Mark Hyung, too."

"You haven't told Mark...?" Mr.Tuan frowned. "Is there a reason for that?"

Taehyung swallowed back his sudden nervousness, frantic almost. "I'm sorry, did I upset you?"

"No, no," The elder waved off. "I'm not offended, Taehyung. I just thought the two of you were close."

"Well, yeah, we are, but— I don't know why I didn't, really. It never came to mind to tell him about it."

"Has something happened? For you to be putting space with him?" He continued to add an, "somehow without realizing."

Taehyung's throat ran dry. That wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with Mark's father. Mr.Tuan was his go to wise-one at the beach, but disconnecting him from Mark was impossible. That was still his son they were talking about and it was overly embarrassing.

"I... I, uh, don't think so."

"Taehyung, Mark hasn't done anything to you, has he?" The man's voice was awfully serious and Taehyung felt the growing embarrassment rose to his face.

"No. Sir, please don't think that. He's done nothing of the sort."

There was absolutely no easy way to tell someone that he'd been childishly crushing on their son for years only to have been forced to move on by them falling for someone else.

He told himself it was forced, but even deep down, Taehyung knew it worked out for the best. He'd changed in the two years he hadn't seen Mark. Mark knew it, he knew it, and because of it, their relationship didn't work like it did.

"We just don't click like we used to. He's so busy with work, too. I hardly get to see him." He evaded most of the topic. It was believable enough. "I'm working on my painting, dealing with bikers and busying myself until I can surf again with my hyungs. When he's around, it's more about how our days have been. Small things."

"Natural diverging." Mr.Tuan mumbled and Taehyung felt guilty. "You're on good terms, I hope?"

"For sure. Seriously. I like the time I do get with him, Mr.Tuan, don't worry about that."

That wasn't a lie. It had gotten easier to be more casual around Mark. And maybe... maybe that was Jeongguk's doing. Having another outlet of connection special to the beach. Apart from his hyungs who were with him year around, it was reassuring that he wasn't losing more than he was gaining that summer.

As long as he could surf by the end of it, he guessed. That weighed him down the most.

He hoped his training with Jeongguk was going to work. It had to.

He stopped, eyes darting down to the shaking hands in his lap. He gripped them together and shoved them between his legs to make them stop trembling.

Taehyung needed to calm down. His breathing had shallowed ever so slightly, not enough for Mr.Tuan to notice, but he didn't know if it would worsen.

"That's relieving. You're growing up and it's understandable. I guess it's unfortunate to some extent, but I'm glad you still stay close, Taehyung."

The lift of weights from his chest at the elder's understanding went unnoticed in Taehyung's attention being pinned to the rising panic.

"Yeah. I still love being around here, don't get me wrong. Being around you two is the best. This place is all of my childhood fun." He smiled through the feeling of a growing ache hurting his lungs.

Where was Jeongguk? It'd been too long since they were supposed to meet.

Taehyung fell into silence, focused on and channeling any energy into keeping everything down. Mr.Tuan didn't push any conversation and the surfer was grateful for that.

Eventually, he noticed Mr.Tuan hovering around without any action. The man was done closing up the diner and Taehyung was stopping him from leaving. The elder didn't say anything out of generosity, but Taehyung was quick to figure it out.

"I'll head to the shore." He breathed out, slipping off the stool and heading to the door. "Thanks, Mr.Tuan. It was really nice talking to you."

"Are you sure? You can sit here for some time if you'd like. Until Jeongguk shows up?"

"No, it's very late and you should rest. I'll wait for him by the water. I can dip my toes." He added the last bit with a joking smile for good measure.

Mr.Tuan nodded, hesitating but leading him out with the last flicks of light switches. The diner delved into darkness, string lights ever more prominent from the doorway as Taehyung stepped out.

"Goodnight, Taehyung." Mr.Tuan was unlocking his car and sitting inside. "Don't wait too long for him, alright? You should get some sleep, too."

"Sounds good." His voice felt weak leaving his throat. "Night, Mr.Tuan."

And when the pair of headlights disappeared down the street, Taehyung felt his heavy breathing intensify. Eyes pricked with tears, his hands gripped at his sides, hugging his sickened stomach.

He'd felt it earlier, when he'd hallucinated in the tired message of his fear warping an empty glass, when he'd panicked and rushed out of the diner. His steady grounding felt like it was cracking.

It didn't feel right. Even though he thought things had been going well, he was learning about Jeongguk, he was making advancements on his fear, he was enjoying ice cream on the patio with Jimin, something was off.

Maybe it was what Hoseok had said to him. About letting him take whatever risks he wanted because he knew what he was doing. He hoped it was because Hoseok had expressed worry from the start about his fear training at night. He hoped it was just that on top of being pissed with Yoongi.

Maybe... it was his choice to go and kiss Jeongguk? Twice? Did making out count as more than one kiss? Taehyung felt his feet stumble on the sand at the thought of having the stable ground distort with his impulsive decision.

One he had made not wanting to regret.

He'd thought it felt good. It did feel good to be kissed the way Jeongguk kissed him. Leather brushing his neck when fingers curled into his hair, the small pinch of teeth dragging at his lips. Hands on his sides, pulling him closer so he felt another heartbeat against his.

It felt like fire and even though Jeongguk respected his pace, Taehyung thought back to the cliff.

Jeongguk was not fire up at the cliff. He hadn't grabbed him with the intent of leaving him breathless, gasping and burning inside with life. Jeongguk had held him in a way that made him feel safe and secure, on stable ground high up in the sky, still another heartbeat against his fingers when Taehyung had put his hand to his chest, but so much quieter. Not the rushing roar of his blood in his ear, but the delicate rise and fall of their chests with steady breaths.

"No, no, no, stop thinking about him—"

Taehyung fell near the tide line, knees hitting wet sand while his feet dug into the dry. He kicked his shoes off and fell back to hug his knees to his chest. The tears fell messily, one out after another, out of sync. It made wiping them away useless, even harder with the shudders his whole body shook with.

The prior nervousness of whether his fear would actually ever get crushed enough to surf loomed overhead. What if he never did get to that point? If he gave up? Taehyung was good at pushing through and working towards good things, but when it came to a matter of life and death... he wasn't sure whether he could even compare it to his art.

Overwhelmed. He was incredibly overwhelmed.

"Well, fuck."

Taehyung went rigid like stone hearing the voice he'd been waiting for all night. Jeongguk stood not more than ten feet from him; he saw the shiny leather through his blurred eyes. Focused on the rough voice instead when his ruined vision failed him.

"Jeon—" he braced his hands on the sand and tried to push himself up. Tripped only a second later and fumbled like he was drowning. Jeongguk hadn't moved, feet planted exactly where they had been moments ago. Was he real? "—gguk."

"What happened?"

Jeongguk wasn't moving to him, wasn't moving any closer. Taehyung managed to get closer and it was only when he was two feet away did Jeongguk raise his hands to grab his biceps and hold him steady.

"Taehyung. You need to breathe."

"I need—" he gasped out, head whirling, lightheaded and floaty but dragged down simultaneously. Heavy and light, flying and drowning. "I need— Jeongguk, w-where were you?"

"What?"

"You're— you came late—"

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Yes?"

"Stop crying and then I'll let you ask shit about me." Jeongguk's hands moved and Taehyung almost thought he was dreaming. He realized he wasn't when the biker didn't pull him closer. A foot apart but not any closer. Only let one hand drift to his waist and the other press back his hair from his face.

He wanted to touch that leather. He settled with the hasty grip his hands had on Jeongguk's wrist, the one moving along his hairline. It stopped along his jaw, resting there and letting him cling to his arm.

"What happened?" Jeongguk asked again, voice quiet like usual. Not gentle, just quiet.

"Just— thoughts. A lot of them. Scary. I don't— thought about the cliff—" Jeongguk stiffened. Taehyung cut his words off when he felt the reaction in the hands touching him. "What?"

"What about the cliff?" Jeongguk grit out. Why was he angry? Why? Taehyung moved his hands away. "Taehyung, what about the cliff?"

"You. Just you holding me— letting me sleep, I dreamt good things that night." He blurted in the rattle of his chest. His voice softened. "I've never dreamt good things this summer. Either nightmares or nothing at all, but that night—"

"Taehyung."

"— I dreamt something I know you'll never give me, but god, I wish— no, no, it's so bad. I shouldn't— just need to surf again, Jeongguk, just need to surf—"

A strangled cry left his mouth, Jeongguk's grip on his waist tightening as he finally stepped closer and Taehyung fell into his chest.

He was warm. Jeongguk was so warm as cool leather arms smoothed up and down his sides. Taehyung didn't know what was happening to him, why he was so frustrated, so pent up with all the anxiousness of everything. But all day he'd tried to act okay around Jin and Jimin, even Hoseok so the guy wouldn't feel guilty for something hopefully unintentional, so now it was all just... flowing out.

"You'll surf soon, okay? You're getting closer everyday. I thought you were okay after this afternoon." Jeongguk muttered. While his arms held Taehyung close, his voice was purposefully distant, disconnected. "Are you and Hoseok still not chill? How's your leg?"

"Leg's fine. And no, we haven't talked, not yet— let's not talk about it— I'm fine, I just needed—" his more vicious of sobs relaxed into something more controllable as he went on. "—needed to cry for a bit."

"You're so confusing, Taehyung."

He almost snorted at the irony when he'd been fumbling around who Jeongguk was in his eyes all night. "Right."

"Good?"

"Enough." He pushed away, wincing with the stretch of his sore skin as he wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater. "Where— where have you been?"

Some amused smile tickled those uneven lips, Jeongguk stuffing hands in his pockets and trailing beside him as they moved closer to the shore.

"Miss me?"

"Don't make me mad, Jeon."

"I was out."

"Wow." Taehyung sniffed.

"What," he shrugged, like it was the best response he could have said. "You said not to make you mad."

His blooming smile crumbled, breath ragged all over again. "What did you do?"

"I said I was out."

"You did something."

Jeongguk hummed. Just hummed and Taehyung let a breath pass the confines of his lips. They were standing a couple feet from the wavering line of the water's greatest reach and Taehyung turned to look at him.

"Jeongguk, I'm serious." He wrung his hands like they were weighing him down, soaked in the only waters before him. "What did you three do?"

"Caused some trouble."

His eyes pinched shut. Maybe the emotion he felt was more of what he and Mr.Tuan had discussed about wasted opportunities. Maybe it was feeling overwhelmed already and just wanting some right answer. That Jeongguk was making these choices on his own and enjoying the majority of them.

"Did you have fun?"

Jeongguk snapped his eyes to him. Of course, his tone came across as condescending and what if Taehyung wanted him to hear it like that? Would it make Jeongguk think more about what he was doing like how Jeongguk shifted his thoughts all the time?

"Why the fuck are you saying it like that?"

"I asked a genuine question." Taehyung turned his body to face Jeongguk entirely. "Did you enjoy whatever shit you did?"

"Yeah. I did." The words were bit out, harsh and low. "What about it?"

"Nothing." Because nothing had really changed.

Maybe that's what felt so off. Taehyung had saw some side of Jeongguk hidden from everyone. His soft and delicate side. And now he was back at square one. Why had nothing changed?

"Clearly it's not nothing when you use that damn tone." Jeongguk's gaze set forward again, bristling with a set jaw clenching. "You sound like my fucking mother."

"How the hell—?"

"Disappointed. You're acting so goddamn disappointed. Only difference is that you're telling me nothing's wrong. I don't think that's any better than her screaming it at me."

"So what do you want to hear me say?" Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest, crouching and pulling his legs close to him. "What could possibly be a reasonable response to that?"

"Leaving it alone and letting me do whatever I want."

"I never stop you from doing what you want."

"You sure give me an earful for it."

"This is like the first time?" The surfer exclaimed. "Don't act like I'm always forwardly judgmental."

"One time too many." The biker remained standing and Taehyung stared down his figure when his neck got tired of looking up. Latched onto the baggy pants pooling around his exposed ankles, feet hidden in the sand. Their shoes were thrown somewhere behind them and Taehyung took a deep breath against the natural recession of the passing wave.

"Why do you get so defensive when I bring up the night up at the cliff?" He finally asked. His fingers twined behind his head, dragging his skull down to rest on the shelf of his knees. "Why do you hate even mentioning it?"

He didn't get anything for longer than he would have liked. It let his assumptions grow, assumptions that were awfully heart wrenching.

"Let's get in the water. You should go fully under—"

"Don't do that." Taehyung lifted his head, hands shifting to grip at his own hair, the full throb on his scalp numbing him. "Don't just evade my question when you fucking asked for it."

"I did not ask for that. I asked for you to tell me why you're disappointed."

"That's exactly what I asked." Jeongguk didn't seem to understand and Taehyung dug his feet in the sand, felt it scratch his skin. "Because however you acted that night on the cliff was so caring— you're a good person and then you do things like this—"

"Yes, Taehyung. I acted. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I acted that night on the cliff."

"You're lying. I know you are. You can't expect me to believe that when you told me you enjoyed taking me on a drive and wanted to do it again."

Some growl of frustration slipped from Jeongguk's mouth and Taehyung got his head around it. He understood it.

You say so much about me being in denial and here you are, Jeongguk. One hell of a hypocrite.

"I acted. Goddammit, I had to have acted. We were close to a cliff edge I didn't want to shove you off of me."

"We were far from the ledge. You know that. These are excuses." Taehyung felt goosebumps graze over his skin. It was unsettling how much Jeongguk was trying to find some answer for everything while ignoring the true one.

"You're confusing me."

"I'm not." The surfer's voice shook. He wasn't giving up. "You don't even want to acknowledge it. That you can be caring."

"You already know I don't hate you, what else do you want?" Jeongguk seethed. "What else do you fucking want? I'm not really the person you saw on the cliff, Taehyung, when will you understand? I'm the guy that fucks around, makes a mess wherever he goes—"

"You're forcing yourself to be that person." Taehyung whispered. There were tears in his eyes. Something so deep because he knew what it was like to defy someone's wish. It was so overwhelming and he couldn't stop. "Jeongguk, I've seen you smile. Not a stupid grin when you make me stumble over my words, or when I asked you to kiss me blind— I've seen that damn smile when you were just happy. Jeongguk, it made me cry—"

"Shut up." He would have had to be deaf to miss the crack in his voice. "Shut up. Just stop."

"No."

"Fuck off—"

"Look, maybe you're not forcing yourself to do that, maybe you do enjoy it, but you're shoving aside a part of yourself. A really nice part and it hurts to see you do that." Taehyung found himself standing again, unsure if Jeongguk even noticed. "You're not all leather and motorcycles. Don't even give me that bullshit."

"Taehyung, I know. Okay, I know. But this is— that doesn't get you anywhere. I am leather and motorcycles. I have been for so long and they're the only enjoyable parts of my childhood that I can remember!"

Taehyung nearly regretted tipping Jeongguk over the edge, leaving him spewing things he may have never wished to tell the surfer. But there was no taking back what had been done.

"Jeongguk..." he reached a hand out and grazed the leather shoulder. The younger didn't mind his touch. Didn't mind when he nudged on it enough to make Jeongguk face him and Taehyung knew the biker was in one of his breaking states.

For once it was eyes that wouldn't meet his. The dark gaze he found the calm eye of a raging storm within wouldn't lock with his. Taehyung let his hand perch under his chin and lift his head. Jeongguk inhaled sharply when his cold hand met the warm skin of his neck, but Taehyung slowly let out a breath when he found those calming eyes.

He found the words he wanted to say, the tangled mess of thoughts clearing as he found some direction.

It wasn't about him anymore; because distracting himself with helping Jeongguk was another habit he'd picked up from the younger.

"Being kind to yourself gets you far. Trusting yourself and your gut." He said. "I know Yoongi and Namjoon were there for you when you didn't have anyone. Helped you feel alive when your dad was unstable with the verbal torment of your mom, way back in your younger years, but you're not a kid anymore. You can't live like that forever."

"But what if I can? It's so easy. It's so damn easy, I don't have a worry in the world—"

"What about the people who worry about you?"

"I never asked them to." Jeongguk pursed his lips, brows furrowing. "I never asked anyone to care. I'm fine on my own. I can check in with my dad. I make enough money through the year to live well, come here in the summers. I don't have any problems."

That was a lie. They both knew it.

"You don't ask for some things, they just happen. And you're burying yourself down, locking yourself away, Jeongguk." Taehyung shook his head and stepped a few inches closer. The space between them was still measurable. "That is a problem."

"I drive a motorcycle, Kim, I think that's far from burying myself. It makes me feel free."

"I know how it feels. It's exhilarating, amazing." He replied honestly and Jeongguk's frown softened at the positive acknowledgment. "I'm not talking about out here. But inside. You've got yourself buried inside. That time I said something and you snapped, tried to hold your hand. When I asked you what you thought about the future—"

"It's all connected."

Taehyung nodded, even though it sounded like Jeongguk was telling him that is was such, like he didn't know. "It's all connected, I know. And whoever that someone else was, you let a piece of yourself get buried with their memory."

A hint of cracking. In his eyes, in the quiver of his lips, the tenseness growing in his shoulders. It didn't go further than that. Jeongguk wasn't ready for that.

"That's okay." Taehyung said like he could read Jeongguk's thoughts. The biker watched as his hands moved to fix the messed leather collar, giving him the freedom to touch it. Then he stepped away and let his arms fall, fingers grazing his own thighs. "Thanks, actually for helping me calm down."

"How... how did you?" Jeongguk's eyes closed for a moment, briefly before opening again. "We went from you falling apart to me feeling like shit."

"When you put it like that," Taehyung grimaced. "It sounds awful."

"I feel awful." Jeongguk muttered, his expression returning to some state of normalcy. Regaining some control, some grip on his storm. "How did that even calm you down?"

"Can we sit?" Jeongguk simply followed him down to the sand and they sat cross legged as water waded mere feet from their toes. "You cope with jokes, I cope with expressing myself. Or just letting it out."

"I thought you shoved it inside most the time. Unless we're here." The younger looked over at him. "Was that a lie?"

"No. Expressing myself to let it out doesn't have to be with someone else. I told you I journal. I paint. I express myself like that. It's why it means so much to me. And then sometimes it's not enough and I just need to cry like... tonight. That happens to everyone."

"Not everyone."

Taehyung shot him a look and Jeongguk returned the smallest of shrugs.

"There's no way you've never cried."

"I'm a tough biker, of course I've never cried." Jeongguk said sarcastically and Taehyung frowned.

"When?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"I'll kiss you if you do." The words came out of his mouth before he even thought about it and Jeongguk seemed equally surprised.

"Oh?"

"I didn't say that."

"Nuh, uh, I think you did." Jeongguk leaned forward, wrapping arms around his lifted knees. "Honestly thought I was gonna get a nice touchy greeting like earlier today. Without all the gross sweat."

"Jeongguk." Taehyung rolled his eyes before focusing on the real question. "When was the last time you let yourself fall apart?"

"Am I getting that kiss?" Jeongguk clicked his tongue in disappointment when Taehyung nudged his knee.

"Come on, Greased Lightning. Be honest with me."

Jeongguk subtly collapsed, legs splayed out and arms braced behind him. A familiar pose he often made to relax. His eyes were trained on the waves riding up the sand and then rolling back like they'd given up their fight to drown the land.

"A year and a half."

Taehyung felt the air still. Like the breeze was cut off, like the rustling of every branch or bush behind them simply stopped.

And with it, his breath. His heart stuttered because Mr.Tuan had told Taehyung he'd met Jeongguk a year and a half ago. That couldn't be a coincidence.

And not only was that what came to mind, but for over a year had Jeongguk held his heart back. Put chains around a painful time and let it sit there like some parasite of trauma that left him unhealed.

Jeongguk had just covered the hole in his chest with a leather jacket, letting it sit there heavy and obvious to no one but himself.

And seeming so painfully obvious, Taehyung figured out his greatest fear. For that jacket to be removed and for such a gaping, haunting memory to be unburied.

"Why is my leather not enough for you?" Jeongguk asked. He asked the question so wrong and the air was punched out of Taehyung's chest.

"Jeongguk, your barriers, your leather, they're too much." Taehyung hooked his hand in the crease of Jeongguk's elbow. "They consume you. You're enough. You don't even need it, you're enough without it."

"But you like leather on me."

"Because it makes you feel safe in a way nothing else can."

"So why," the younger sounded on the edge of desperate. Probably because he'd been so happy to hear Taehyung said he liked the leather just some time ago. "Why are you saying it's too much?"

"Because you can't take risks when you protect yourself so much. The leather should make you feel strong, it shouldn't cage you in."

"You would know." Jeongguk realized.

"I do know." Taehyung felt the rush of air return to his lungs. "Mr.Tuan and I were talking earlier. We talked about you, about my fear, about my hyungs, and about Mark Hyung. I told Mr.Tuan how in the past two years, I've changed."

"Changed?"

"He said natural diversion. There's not a better way to put it. I still care about Mark Hyung, but not the way I used to. I was a kid and he was someone I looked up to for so long. Maybe if I had said something when I was seventeen, things would be different."

"But you didn't. You kept it inside."

"I thought it was the same when I came back this summer. I thought the beach would be the same way I left it, but I changed and how I see this place changed, too."

"I'm sure everything with the drowning, me, us bikers... that all had to have had a play."

"It did. I guess it's just that the beach has always been our escape—" Taehyung recalled their term for the place. "—but I grew up and brought some of reality with me."

"Reality has always been with me." Jeongguk answered, like their conversation was revolving around topics, rather than bouncing between one another. "You told me something, Taehyung. You were half out of it, seriously, but it stuck."

"Yeah?" He was hoping everything he had said that night stuck, too. If not, he wasn't sure what would happen. "What was that?"

"You called me perfectly real. Something imperfect. But a good kind of imperfect. I've never seen myself as perfect, really the opposite. I guess being real is the best way I've heard it phrased."

"And you say you're not good with words." Taehyung smiled gently, a slight tinkle of amazement in his eyes. This, this, was the Jeongguk under his leather. The one who was the same with his leather on or off.

"I'm not. I'm careless with 'em."

"I've noticed."

"What else?" Jeongguk's voice was strained.

"What else? What do you mean?"

"What else have you noticed about me?"

He blinked. Once, twice, staring slowly up at Jeongguk, who he found already looking. "What have I noticed about you?"

"Yeah. You say I'm more observant than you realized, but I could say the same to you."

"I mean... mine's intentional observation." Taehyung hummed. "You're like an art study. I'm just trying to figure out your story. Bit by bit."

"You said that about my tattoo, too."

"See? You remember the smallest details. It's incredible." Taehyung's breath hitched. "God, Jeongguk, you know what I can tell you? It's so damn easy to express myself around you because you are art. In a way, everyone is. Their own canvas, and first it's others painting the story, parents, society, and when they get to a certain point, they can take the brush in their own hands and just paint."

"I think you've got the wrong person if you think I can paint." Jeongguk chuckled and Taehyung pushed his shoulder. "Kidding, metaphors or whatever. Cool."

"But yeah, that's one good explanation for why I want to talk to you out here. I express myself in painting or with journaling, and those are forms of art, so maybe you're another form of it. Another outlet for me."

"So you're going to plug your phone charger into me?" Jeongguk cut in, whistling the next second. "That was such a good sexual innuendo, damn."

"What the fuck. Would you be serious?"

"Hey, this shit is sad and I told you I cope with sad shit with even shittier jokes."

"I hate you. I don't think you deserve my words."

"Are you seriously mad?"

"No, your jokes just remind me of Jin Hyung's." Jeongguk's grin fell to cringe and Taehyung felt his disgust.

"That's like indirect incest." Jeongguk gagged. "Do not say I'm like Jin when I've fucking kissed you."

"I never said you were, I said your jokes were." Taehyung shook his head. "Anyway, your tattoo. I feel like I'm figuring it out."

"You're still after that?" Jeongguk's recoiled like flashing warning signs had lit up ahead of him. "I told you it's with all the other—"

"Did you make it?" He asked instead and the biker's brows shot upward. "I know the story connected to it isn't something you want to talk about, but did you make the design?"

"Yeah. I did." He cursed as Taehyung stared expectantly for more. "I'd always wanted a tattoo after seeing Yoongi's and Namjoon's, but never knew what to get. They have meanings in theirs, so I figured I should, too. It came to me a couple months after... after what happened. My drawing was way worse than what the artist miraculously inked on, but the idea was there."

Taehyung let a small wow meet the air before his mouth. "Regardless of talent, the meaning of it was what got me."

"Is that you just trying to make me feel better about my drawing skills?"

"No, asshat, shut the hell up. I literally study how to analyze artwork and make my own masterpieces, so seeing some interpretation of yours right away wasn't entirely random."

"Still boring."

"I can't wait to prove you wrong."

"Your summer project?" Jeongguk absorbed some confidence and Taehyung felt a hand brush along his sweater sleeve. "You done yet?"

"The fuck? It's been like two days since I told you about it. I'm not even close."

"Then I get to keep calling it boring for a while."

"Terrible. You're horrendous, Jeon."

"Hm, I'm aware."

Taehyung huffed. "One more question."

"Last time you asked that, it wasn't easy to answer. I don't trust you, Saltine."

"I never said this one was going to be easy."

Jeongguk laid down on the sand and Taehyung followed the crown of his head, watching those doe eyes flutter closed as his body sunk into beige. "Hit me with it, baby."

He let his back hit the sand, too, like it was only fair to get to Jeongguk's level in order to ask what he wanted to.

"How bad was what happened? I know that's really vague, and you can say no to this, but... I was hoping you'd try and tell me something."

"I had a feeling you'd ask after that whole thing." Jeongguk mumbled, voice raspy from his chest. "It was the worst day of my life. Worse than... worse than literally anything I've been through."

"And you've been through a lot." He mumbled absentmindedly. "Okay, thank you. For telling me—"

"Blood. Rain." Jeongguk shuddered and Taehyung sat up worriedly in case the biker lost himself in the darkness behind his eyes. And then, a shaky breath ripped through his lungs and Taehyung grazed careful fingers along his side. Jeongguk's eyes opened, sad and lingering on the sky. "Letting that hand slip away."

"That's why?" He asked, referring to it all. He wanted to understand even if it didn't make any sense. He wanted Jeongguk to believe he understood.

"Yeah." Jeongguk's gaze shifted over, emotions contorting like he saw someone else sitting where Taehyung sat, someone else's face on the surfer's features. "Taehyung?"

He sounded surprised and Taehyung's heart hurt. Because maybe Jeongguk only talked to him, helped him, out of remembrance. Because he was reminded of the person he missed when he saw the surfer.

"Hey, Jeongguk." He said softly. "What do you want?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Ask."

He didn't ask right away, but it didn't feel quiet in the lack of words. Taehyung could sense him contemplating, could hear it.

"If I gave you a reason to, would you hate me? Would you push me away?"

Taehyung's lips parted like he had an answer at the tip of his tongue, but nothing was voiced. He just closed his mouth and tried to muster some answer through his mind spinning every possibility.

"Don't answer it." Jeongguk suddenly shook his head, grabbing Taehyung's leg to pull himself up. The older helped him sit (even though he didn't need it) with a hand on the small of his back.

Taehyung frowned at the sudden remark.

"I just don't want to hear you answer that. Whether you have an answer or not, I don't want to hear it."

So he didn't say anything. Partly because he honestly didn't know what to say. Taehyung was careful, he thought through things before he executed them. And even so, he was rather impulsive around Jeongguk, just feeding on the energy the younger bled.

It would depend, he decided. The severity of what Jeongguk did to lose his trust.

But Jeongguk didn't want to hear it.

He let it be.

"Should we go in the water?" Taehyung hadn't realized how close he was sitting to the biker until Jeongguk turned his head. Warmth hit his cheek from the side and Taehyung tried not to move away too quickly.

A hand settled on the curve of his neck, rough fingers digging into the hair at the nape of his neck. Taehyung wasn't able to move away. Instead directed into Jeongguk's immediate gaze, eyes that came closer with every breath he took.

Taehyung could feel warmth swarm his skull, from Jeongguk's hand holding him close, his face approaching near until the narrow space between their noses tingled with anticipation.

His lids fell down, darkening his vision in a void that made every spread of warmth more distinguishable. Jeongguk didn't move any closer and Taehyung didn't even think he wanted to.

Their foreheads touched, chins tipping down so their noses bumped with the timing of their foreheads.

Jeongguk let out a small sound. A mix of grief and appreciation at once and Taehyung wondered if anything he'd said that night would charge some change in Jeongguk's mindset.

"Do you really want to?" Jeongguk mumbled, voice drawn and tired, emptying with the lack of drive. "We can, but—"

"Motorcycle ride?" He suggested, which immediately received a shake of Jeongguk's head. It caused their noses to nuzzle against each other for the briefest of moments. "Why not?"

"I'm not in the right mind to drive right away. Driving you is out of the question."

"Okay." He whispered, all their responses adding another warmth of a hug in their bodies. "You still owe me another drive."

Jeongguk hummed, fingers moving with more purpose as they ghosted under his ear, twirled one of his wavy curls around a finger. Taehyung let out a sigh as the touch made tears return to his eyes.

"Are you sad?" The biker murmured and Taehyung shook his head so subtly it was dismissible. "Then why are you crying?"

"I cry when I feel extremes of any emotion." Taehyung shrugged, chuckling softly as Jeongguk's nose scrunched in disbelief. "I'm serious."

"You cry when you're happy?"

"Yeah. Any emotion, really." He leaned away so he could look the younger in the eyes, vision slightly blurred. "Frustration, sadness, happiness, even just content."

"So are you saying I have no heart?" Jeongguk chuckled, hand slipping down his upper half to rest on his knee. Taehyung stared down at his leg with the smaller, calloused hand sat. Rings shining silver like the creases of his leather.

"You're absolutely heartless." Taehyung grinned back, wiping any tears that may have fallen. "Self conceited asshole."

"Shitty, stale saltine." The biker retracted his hand, ruffling his own hair and Taehyung watched the shadowy slopes of his face shift with every strand. "So what emotion are you crying with now?"

"I don't know." He answered honestly, though urge to cry again had stopped. "But whatever it is, I felt a lot of it."

Jeongguk turned to face the ocean. After a few moments of purposeless staring, he stretched forward to catch his fingers in the next approaching wave. The surfer saw them disappear in the ink, moonlight doing little to clarify anything beneath the water's surface.

A splatter of drops stung his skin moments later, jolting him upright and making Taehyung retract in shock.

"Hey, what the hell—" he yelped as Jeongguk flicked water at him again. "Jeongguk!"

"Gonna run away and make me chase you again?" The biker taunted and Taehyung shifted in shock.

"What are you doing? We are in the middle of talking—"

"I got bored—" another splash to Taehyung's face. "—so enough of the talking."

He snapped forward at the conclusion to grab his own handful of water and throw it at Jeongguk. He laughed at the spew of curses leaving the younger's mouth as water hit his face.

"Woah, woah, watch it— fuck!" Taehyung scrambled away as Jeongguk was standing in the low tide and kicking up splashes at him. He didn't go far as sharp laughter accompanied hands on his arms, tugging him in the water. The surfer jumped in his skin as his feet stumbled into the cold and Jeongguk reached down to splash him again.

Taehyung gasped, scoffing at the challenge and sent a kick and throw of water right back. Jeongguk hurriedly shed his leather jacket and threw it by their shoes, safe on the sand, and Taehyung stumbled around through the laughter as his sweater began to soak in any splash sent his way.

His pants had wettened to his shins, and soon it was his whole lower half when he tripped over his feet at Jeongguk's next attack and fell down. With that area of the beach shell-less, grains smooth, he didn't feel much but the cold rise through him as water waded all around his hips.

Jeongguk crouched before him and flicked droplets at his face. His hair was dripping at the ends, face streaked from Taehyung's retaliation. "I won."

Taehyung took the chance to snap his foot out and hit the biker's knee, causing him to lose his balance and land harshly on his own ass.

"Loser." Taehyung laughed as Jeongguk scowled at him. He cooed with a sly, "Look at you. All breathless and shocked."

"You caught me off guard." The younger groaned and lifted his drenched sleeves in annoyance. "Another fucking shirt all ruined thanks to you."

"Just wash it, douchebag."

"I literally washed it a day ago, shithead."

"Welcome to the beach." Taehyung rolled his eyes. His surroundings came to the front of his mind and Taehyung found that he didn't mind. God, it felt so nice. It reminded him of when he had shown Jimin his progress and they'd splashed around in the water just like he and Jeongguk had. Just like he had when he was a kid.

Jeongguk snickered at him and Taehyung frowned. "What are you laughing at, Greased Lightning?"

"C'mere." Jeongguk was the one who moved anyway and the older stiffened as one of his dripping hands reached up to flatten the messy, standing hairs atop his head. "Look at you," the biker mimicked. "All flustered and messy."

"Fuck off." Taehyung grumbled, hyper aware of how Jeongguk's jaw was at his eye level and his body kneeling close. "Get away from me."

"You still owe me that kiss." The biker grinned as he sat back on his heels and Taehyung had to look up an inch to meet his gaze. "Don't think I forgot."

"You know, I never changed how I dressed, never dressed ugly, and you still managed to control your raging teenage hormones." Taehyung shot back and Jeongguk's brow raised. "Waited all sweetly for me to make the first move."

"Did you just call me sweet?"

"Aw, did that hurt you, tough guy?"

"I really hate you, Kim." Jeongguk bit out and Taehyung laughed in victory. The biker's expression morphed. "You okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you forget we're sitting in the water, dumbass? Are you feeling uneasy?"

"I'm good." He shrugged and a spark of delight flashed across those dark eyes. "Feels nice."

"Wonderful. Because of me?" Jeongguk crowded his space again, but Taehyung pushed him.

"Because of your fear training, Biker Jeon." He corrected and the biker mockingly pouted. "You know what I said about who you were that night on the cliff?"

"Yeah, let's not talk about—"

"That was sweet. Whether you want to admit that a part of you isn't so heartless. You care about your dad, Yoongi and Namjoon, you cared about me that night, too."

"All I did was show you my favorite place. And take you on a drive because you're annoying and called it dangerous."

"It is dangerous."

"Says the guy who fucking drowned surfing."

"I—"

"Thought so." Jeongguk splayed a hand over the calmer water before him, rising as the tide rolled over, lowering his palm with it. "Sheesh, I needed that."

"Huh?"

"I've been really tense. I don't know what it is, but I've been really jumpy whenever someone gets near Yoongi or Namjoon recently. I've always been protective, we have been of each other, but... it seems more than usual."

"Oh." Taehyung didn't know what to think of that. He hadn't exactly noticed. "Did you attract any police doing whatever you did tonight?"

He couldn't believe how casually he was saying something that scared him so much. Even when he was driving, seeing a cop car around made him freeze up. It was just the constant nagging of how perfect his record had to stay for the scholarship he'd been given to be provided. For the chance to do what he loved.

"Unfortunately." Jeongguk breathed out, shoulders shaking with the action. "I think they caught sight of Hyung's face."

"Which one?"

"Namjoon. He was on the lookout and I'm pretty sure they got a good look of his face."

"Shit."

"I know. It's not good. So I was all tense and showed up here to see you crying and panicking. Kinda just got overwhelmed and then we blew up."

"We do tend to argue a lot. It's a given. Even Mr.Tuan said it was kinda funny."

"Funny? That wasn't fun."

"Well, good thing we calm down quick enough, then." The surfer shivered as the cold water sent a slice of chills up his spine. "Don't worry. It's not your fault."

"Never said it was." Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "I didn't do shit to make you all upset like that."

"Well..."

"I didn't."

"Not directly."

"No." The younger stood. "Not intentionally."

Taehyung rose to his feet too, squeezing out any water from his sweater as it dropped back into its origin. "I'm not blaming you."

Jeongguk grunted and helped him get out of the ocean. He grabbed his jacket and slipped it on, hands sliding into the pockets. "Just for the record, I take plenty of risks."

Taehyung knew that. He knew that all too well. He didn't know how to tell Jeongguk that it wasn't the good kind, even when the biker just talked about being nervous over officials seeing Namjoon' face in action.

"Yeah, you do." He mumbled instead, wet feet causing the sand to plaster on like paint. "Be careful."

Jeongguk looked odd in his drenched clothes, dry jacket; it looked so out of place. "Are we done for the night?"

"If you want to be." A reminder lit up in his head. "Oh, Jeongguk, I won't be here tomorrow night."

"What?"

"Jimin wants to go to this drive in movie thing tomorrow. Some midnight special so I'll be gone all night with him."

"Oh."

"You sound sad, you big baby." Taehyung chuckled.

"I'm not." Jeongguk bared his chest, trying to show his unbothered state. "Do whatever you want. I'll see you the next night."

"Don't miss me too much, dear biker."

"Please, you're not missable."

"No?" Taehyung stepped up to him and Jeongguk eyed him suspiciously. "You sure?"

"If anything," the biker stared him up and down, a small grin rising on his lips. "You'll probably be thinking of me through that whole movie. Probably some stupid cheesy romance on the screen playing, considering how disgustingly romantic you are, and your mind's just gonna be screaming to you how stupid you were to give up another night of my wonderful presence."

Taehyung's smile fell; even though Jeongguk was teasing him, it hit him somewhere. He really didn't have that much longer at the beach and he'd probably not see Jeongguk again until the next summer. At best.

"See?" The younger mistook his silence, snorting. "You know I'm right. I'm just always on your mind, baby."

"I will enjoy my time plenty with Jimin, thank you very much. And the movie is Mean Girls so I'll be enjoying it even more." Taehyung tutted, pinching Jeongguk's arm as he pushed his thoughts away. "Won't even think of you once."

"No? You sure?" Jeongguk parroted. The older nodded with a subtle gulp as Jeongguk stepped in. "Guess I'll have to give you something else to think about when Regina George gets hit by a bus."

"You annoying shit, don't even think about it—"

Jeongguk shut him up with a hasty kiss. Short and deep and Taehyung's words were coaxed away as his toes curled in the sand and the biker left him with incredibly distracting warmth to think about later. His frustration was swallowed, inaudible, and Jeongguk chuckled against his lips, pressing harder with the belt of an arm wrapping around Taehyung's waist.

"Fuck," he gasped out before curling hands around Jeongguk's collar and returning the favor of making sure his touch was something the biker remembered. Jeongguk hummed appreciatively, like he was surprised, but pleasantly enough that he responded almost instantly.

How romantic. Seriously. The greatest love story of all time. Taehyung almost laughed at what a joke that was.

Almost laughed breathlessly as he pushed Jeongguk lips away and let just their hands stay on each other.

He really couldn't imagine himself being with Jeongguk in the long run.

"I got my kiss." Jeongguk grinned through the heavy rise and fall of his chest as Taehyung let his fingers linger around the left side of his chest, eyes shying open to find the younger's immediately. The thrum of the biker's pulse was apparent there and Jeongguk's arm around his waist loosened.

"Sure had to fight for it." Though the answer sounded stupid considering Jeongguk had just used his loud mouth to shut him up and Taehyung had let him.

"I told you you're a good challenge, Kim." The younger stepped away and Taehyung let his hand fall to his side. "You know, I hope your journaling isn't anything like Regina's Burn Book."

"My journaling is much more poetic, ugh. You sure know a lot about the movie." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Who made you sit through it?"

"I don't live under a rock." Jeongguk scoffed, head tilting as he took Taehyung in one last time. "Today was an strange night."

"That's... yeah, I guess you're right."

"Didn't expect to be attacked in two seconds and then sit through a deep talk. Even got to see your water fight skills in action."

"I did not attack you."

"You were raging towards me emotionally drunk."

"Raging? Emotionally drunk? You're the worst. I just wanted to say hi, and I can't even do that!"

"That was some hi. Interrogating me while you could hardly see." Jeongguk's mouth quirked in amusement. "You're still pretty when you cry, did you know?"

"And you're still a dick when you breathe." He sighed, shaking his head as the biker. "The biggest dick ever."

"Oh, that is something I can confirm."

Taehyung threw a shoe at him.

Jeongguk kicked it back with a bark of laughter before grabbing his bike key from his pocket and twirling it around his finger. His feet traced backwards towards his motorcycle parked in the diner lot and Taehyung puffed out his cheeks with amused annoyance.

"Choke on some popcorn thinking about my dick, okay?" Jeongguk called out from the line of bushes. "I'll think of those pretty lips on mine all night."

Taehyung groaned as a hefty curse left his mouth. "Fucking terrible. Absolutely wretched."

And he lingered by the shoreline, watching that motorcycle race away. Taehyung wished he'd asked for that ride again, but somehow they just knew when the other was too drained to spend more time in the late night.

His enjoyment sped away with the biker, leaving him to wallow in his thoughts again.

Taehyung looked back at the ocean, the far ends near the horizon that seemed so scarring. Shuddered at the flash of memory lighting through his eyes. The fear training had never been easy. He'd been strong doing everything he had up until that point.

He really couldn't fail again. In more ways than one. Failing was not an option.

And somehow it was gut wrenching remembering he had a normal college life back home. Somewhere where he had campus friends and art classes, parents who showed their distaste without ends. Jin who remained by his side and his two family friends did the same.

Hoseok. Taehyung felt his annoyance tick in as he dusted off his feet and slipped on the sandals to walk back home on the side path. He wasn't annoyed at Hoseok. Honestly, he was just dying for an answer. He didn't understand it and it was frustrating not to understand things.

When he stepped in from the unlocked back door, using his spare towel to dry anything he could, Taehyung felt a presence. He snapped his head up and saw Hoseok himself, sitting at the kitchen bar stool in the dark.

"What the hell?" He mumbled, closing the back door and stepping carefully along the ground to soundlessly reach the elder.

His friend's head was on the counter, eyes closed as his parted lips breathing steadily clued his sleeping state. There was a glass, half full of some drink, sitting in his hand on the counter, though his fingers had fallen away from it subconsciously.

"Hobi," Taehyung frowned and nudged him awake. The dancer's head jerked at the disruption and his eyes blinked hurriedly to catch where he was.

"What the... oh, Taehyung, you're back." The groggy voice was soft, a gentle yawn pulling his throat and Hoseok smacked his lips as he turned on the chair.

"Why are you sleeping here? Hyung would wack you in the head if he came down in the morning to this— were you drinking?"

"Mm, 'was waiting for you."

"You—" Taehyung stifled a small slip of noise cutting at his lips. "Oh."

"Sorry, Tae." The tired drawl was buried into the towel around his shoulders as Hoseok hugged him, sleep still heavy on the dancer. "I shouldn't have said that to you earlier. Or avoided you all day."

"I'm okay, Hyung." He mumbled, pushing Hoseok away so he didn't get wet from his dripping clothes. "My leg's actually not even hurting and I didn't do too much tonight because I knew my limits."

The acknowledging hum that followed wasn't believable and Taehyung tapped Hoseok's cheek.

"Thanks for being worried about me, but I'm good, Hobi."

"Tae... it's not— not that," the man seemed frustrated with his jumbled thoughts, standing from the stool and dumping the rest of his drink down the sink and washing the glass.

"Not what?" He followed behind, even though his bare feet, sandals drying in the back, left liquid prints on the flooring. "Talk to me."

"You're tired," Hoseok was slumping, feet shuffling with the great exhaustion that came with properly lifting them. "Me, too. We'll... we can talk tomorrow."

"But—"

He didn't get to say much as the elder kissed the side of his head and headed upstairs to rest, leaving once assured that Taehyung had gotten home in one piece.

"—you waited for me. To make sure I was safe?" Taehyung whispered in the lonely space. Hoseok wasn't mad at him, Mr.Tuan had been right.

He fell against the fridge and pulled the towel around him, smiling at the ceiling. Then at the moonlight spilling across the wood panels, illuminating his puddles of evidence for his nightly trips to the shore.

Taehyung wiped them clean and stalked up the stairs, showering quickly and changing into warm clothes before falling into the bed with Jimin.

He woke up three times that night. Slept three times. Once with a nightmare, once with good dreams, and once with nothing at all.

What was he supposed to make of that?

❧ ❧ ❧
if you saw my insta story, i just wanted to let you know i ended up adding even more to the chap's word count in my proofread LMAO

this was an interesting chapter with a lot jam packed in it, but i love leaving/revealing clues ;)

ITS THEM. ITS B&B TK.
hehe ily guys and thank you for 130k ♡

✵ NEETO ✵