a/n: tw for aquaphobia

❧ The Feather Tattoo ❧

Rain slamming into the earth like a million bouncy balls falling from the sky. The muted song of nature was the first thing he came to recognize even while his eyes were closed in sleep. It comforted him, the muddled noise a simple lullaby signifying that terrifying silence wasn't taking over.

Then his eyes opened, dazed and blurred at first until he saw the dark wash of light spilling into the bedroom. The ocean was a deep bluish gray in the distance, waters storming with large waves as the room's floor reflected the droplets racing down the balcony's sliding glass door.

No signs of lightning, such was clear from the absence of thunder, and Taehyung used it as reassurance to slip out of bed for his plan. Careful not the disturb Jimin who warmed the other half of the bed, the chill of the rainy glass cooled his palms as they splayed against it.

His eyes were trained on the water.

He had surfed in the rain before— a mere storm would fail to deter him— so he had little doubts in his mind. Nervousness was unavoidable, he wouldn't deny, but it wasn't overpowering.

Dressing quickly, in warmer clothes than the day before due to the rattling showers outside, Taehyung felt goosebumps trail up his clothed arms. A small parasite of doubt began to feed on his determination when the rain's pour worsened, piercing instead of falling.

But his mind was unknowingly plagued with the craving for self-validation.

It went further than just surfing in that moment; it went back to the support for his work being left on his shoulders, a push to give himself due credit when he deserved it, or harsh criticism at times he may have not.

The rain splattered on his arm like one of his favorite paint techniques, the small pricks engulfing the dry canvas of tan skin. He embraced the water soaking into his clothes and hair, causing both to stick to him like second skin, as he left the front doorway and made it to the front. Taehyung had moved the convertible into the garage the night before, Jin's precious car safe from damage, the vehicle coming into view as he hoisted the garage's door up.

He brought in the rain with him as if he was leaving a trail of clear blood. Hands grabbed the board resting against the wall, being abandoned for only the moment of closing the garage again before Taehyung was headed in the direction of the diner in record time.

The waves were usually safer at the diner, the closer to the end of the shoreline, the less dangerous the surfing tides.

Once he set his mind to it, Taehyung was focused on accomplishing it, proving others wrong, and gaining respect through success.

No one was out at that hour, leaving him to tread alone on the path, hair dripping water down his face like tears.

But he wasn't sad. He was excited, the coursing adrenaline taking over when the diner came into view, the ocean just behind.

He knew his hyungs didn't like surfing in such weather, so he was on his own for the morning— something he didn't mind. He liked keeping to himself.

The damp sand was firm under his toes, jogging feet easily maneuvering to the shore. Taehyung dumped his small bag on the sand and ripped off his shoes. The waves were still towering, he noticed, as the small remnants washed over his feet moments later.

"Perfect." His voice was drowned out by the sky's roars, the faded rip of Velcro securing the ankle strap to his leg. He took a few steps forward, the sandy downslope shifting to flat stones under his soles. The rain was deafening then, everything pinned to him, heavy on his skin and chest.

He took a deep breath and laid his board flat, climbing onto it, nearly slipping off the slick surface due to the downpour. It was harder to swim through the harsher force, opposing the direction the ocean willed him to go, as the rain nearly blinded him.

Every moment made his heart race faster, the parasitic doubt growing in his gut when he waited for the right wave.

He was in it now, and he was going to do it.

Taehyung saw the familiar form of a large tide grow from the distance, view foggy as the water pebbles ruptured the ocean's surface. Swimming his board around, he was chasing the wave back to the sand, watching as it began to curve and letting his feet grab a shaky hold of the board so he could stand.

The dark water blocked out the light above him, wave curling above just like he knew. The sound of rain was further dampened by the ocean's tunnel and the smile tickled his drenched face knowing that he'd done it.

His knees bent into a crouch when the tunnel began to collapse, preparing himself for the impact about to hit him.

And it was the parasite of doubt that engulfed his confidence the moment his hand slipped from the edge of the board, a mistake made too late to fix such that he lost ahold of the board attached to his body.

The world drowned away as he was thrown into the ocean, everything numbing as his body suspended in the push and pull of the tides for the first few seconds.

The panic of a terrible gut feeling made his eyes shoot wide, legs frantic when all he saw was darkness, alone from the surface prickled with shattering rain drops.

His ankle strap had been ripped away, board nowhere to be found, and Taehyung felt his throat clench as the direction of the shoreline became indistinguishable.

With the bits of muscle memory left in him, Taehyung was swimming towards the fizzling surface, breaking through and gasping for air to relieve the painful burn of his throat.

He couldn't see with the rain blurring everything, trickling into his eyes and stinging them until the next forceful tide shoved him back under without the chance to catch a spare breath.

His sense of calm fleeted, his controlled lung capacity deflated, the clench of pain in his chest and throat fiery as the water seized his every cell and pinned him down into a nightmare.

Vision dazing, limbs going limp in the absence of conscious senses, his hands reaching for the sky that had betrayed him.

Taehyung was far gone, succumbing to the defeat of a force of nature drowning him painfully slow.

He felt a touch on his skin, one too warm to be the cold, sick waters that were killing him. His vision was simply lightening behind closed lids, like he was ascending; the surfer was sure he was dead.

Sound consumed his ears again with a vicious clearing of the pressure entrapped within. He felt the warmth all against his back, the sensation of secure touch wrapped around to his chest as he seemed to sway around.

A searing pain in his throat built as the warmth around his midsection squeezed, causing him to cough up water shoveled deep in his lungs, the liquid sputtering out and igniting a burning sensation behind his eyes.

Things blurred into each other. Where he felt the warmth on his upper body, he felt equal dampness scrape against his legs, bare feet digging into the surface as he fell with the arms around him, both bodies exhausted. Warmth against the chilling rain felt like heaven to his soul, chest heavy with chains as his senses remained unconsciously trapped in oblivion.

He only came around to feel his body placed against a surface, legs splayed like a broken doll in front of him. Shivering with the heart wrenching sear of nightmarish memory, a sheet of dry comfort was encased around him. He felt like he was in bed again, but the rain was too loud to be behind a barrier.

Taehyung forced his eyes open, blinded by light until it slowly dulled into a hazy view of the surroundings.

The front porch of the beach home, he was by the front door, and moving down the steps was a body...

A person was walking away, hair dark and flattened against their skin, hands buried in the pockets of their pants, white shirt drenched to the point of clear visibility to their toned back.

Body numb and mind spinning with aching pain, he caught only one feature of the stranger.

Beautiful ink engraved on the skin of the stranger's back like a memory in one's mind. The image was all he saw in the black void as he slipped away again, comforted by a blanket wrapped around his body and life pumping back into his heart.

The tattoo of a falling feather, thin and brittle. It was falling, nearing the end of its journey in the bottom corner of his back. But at the tips of its barbules was the feather dissipating into small birds, the creatures flying to the other corner of the canvas at his top right shoulder, high and free from the forces of nature pinning it down.

A similar freedom that Taehyung began to ache for as the nightmare of burning waters chilled his soul. The fear of the ocean, grasping his body and dragging him in, clinging to every nerve.

~•४•~

He felt the buzz of consciousness first. It was soft and distant as feeling also seeped into him. A plush surface under his body, hands grazing the material, and he mentally frowned at the faint recognition.

His eyes opened with soreness tearing at the edges, view clearing from haziness as a throaty groan left his lips. His face ached, chest inwardly shaking, but he felt dry and warm, opposing the memory haunting his mind.

There was a clamber somewhere, ears still ringing with too much sensitivity to make out. A figure appeared above his flat one, the familiar blond locks of his best friend making a faint smile of relief appear on his face.

"Taehyung?" The sweet voice was strained, terrified in his ears. It caused the smile on his face to flicker, completely falling when his vision cleared to see a red-eyed, worry stricken Jimin. "Taetae?"

"M-Minie?" His voice felt so foreign as it echoed in his skull, a cough following it and he threw his head back as the flaring sensation hit him again. "Shit."

"Sit up," Jimin's hands were around him and helping him up, his body trembling in opposition of the movement. "Drink this."

Cool glass touched his tingling lips, the elder forcing his head back to tip some water down his throat. Taehyung felt it refresh his dry insides, the salt water having ripped the life out of him.

The glass was set aside and Taehyung heard a thundering stumble of steps race down the staircase. It made him wince as the other two surfers nearly yelled in relieved shock to his well-being.

"Taehyung, oh my god," Jin's hands held his face, turning it around to look for injuries, but only found his sickly pale skin, teary eyes and numb expression. "You're okay."

His heart clenched hearing Jin's voice so distraught, the tears lodged in his throat, and Taehyung reached for the crooked fingers desperately holding his face. "I-I'm okay."

Hoseok was behind the couch, leaning down and kissing the crown of his head, his form of gratefulness without a spoken word.

They gave him some space, Jimin the only one remaining by his side and Taehyung felt his senses return to more normalcy as the voice in his head felt more and more like him.

"Tae," Jimin was grasping his arms so he would look at him. Taehyung felt guilt gnaw at him as the blond surfer squeezed the muscle on his shoulder. "What happened? Why were you-you on front porch looking half dead—"

The memory relapsed like an old tape on rewind. He saw it, felt it, gasping and clutching his chest as his eyes shot wide and Jimin pulled away.

"D-Drowned—" he croaked, tears clinging to the edge of his waterline for dear life. The youngest boy clasped his knees to his chest, head buried in his arms. "I drowned— someone saved me— oh my—"

"What?" Hoseok was kneeling beside him, hands gently holding his shaking ones with concern deep in his eyes. Taehyung let his legs fall like a puppet's threads snapping. "You surfed in this weather?"

The dark haired surfer seemed to know when Taehyung's words failed him, understanding him with little context. Hoseok was hugging his caving, shivering figure without question, hand soothing down his hair and arms securely grounding him.

Taehyung felt haunted by the truth that he had almost died. It didn't feel real. It shouldn't have been real. He was so skilled at surfing that it shouldn't have happened.

Every time is a new risk.

A risk he had chosen to ignore and would then suffer the consequences for.

"Shh," the elder attempted to calm him, sobs ripped out of his chest in violent denial. "It's okay, it's okay."

No, it wasn't okay. He saw it flash through his mind as the rain continued pouring outside, ocean waves crashing harshly into the shore. He felt the way it choked his breath, made him tremble from a spiral of uncontrollable panic, the way he was helpless.

Someone saved me.

The ink. The feather tattoo.

Taehyung saw the design vividly in the blackness behind his lids, head buried in Hoseok's shoulder as the image of beautiful birds seemed to calm him down.

Someone had saved him. He owed someone his life.

"Someone was there," he whimpered softly, pulling away and letting the elder wipe his tears. "Someone saved me."

"We figured." Jimin said from beside him.

"Were you able to see who?" Jin moved to sit close, seated on the sofa's arm and hand placed on his head to ease his tension.

Taehyung felt exhausted. He couldn't bring himself to put in the energy of describing such a beautiful image in his mind, nor did he was to be pained by how desperately he wanted what that painting implied.

"Can I lay— can I lay down?" he whispered breathlessly, voice quivering as he was trapped in the tundra of fear. Jin was immediately apologizing and making the other boys move to give him room. They situated him on the couch again, tucking him in with the blanket.

"I'm going to go make something warm for you to eat, okay?" Jin mumbled, taking his hand and squeezing it. Taehyung nodded rather nimbly, the elder disappearing with Hoseok calling after him to offer a hand of help.

He blinked tiredly at the blond seated by his feet, shifting to make a small seat for Jimin next to his abdomen. The elder took it and patted his thigh. "Really scared us all showing up like an Amazon package on the doorstep."

Taehyung chuckled softly, throat protesting against his actions. "Didn't know they shipped human beings now, too." His voice softened. "And I'm sorry for scaring you."

"I know you didn't expect for that to happen, Tae, it's okay." Jimin knew he didn't mind the rain for surfing, it was just an unfortunate series of events that led to his near death experience. "Just really glad you're safe now."

Taehyung smiled sweetly at the elder, pulling the blanket closer to him as the trickle of dread filled him. "Me, too. I seriously thought I was dead under there."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay, Taetae," he pushed the hair out of Taehyung's face and the younger leaned into his touch. "I'm here for you. We all are."

The blond seemed lost in his thoughts as he spoke his next words, an afterthought he didn't seem to be consciously speaking aloud.

"I've never been so scared in my entire life." Jimin said, almost like confirmation that what had happened was real. "I almost lost my best friend. And while surfing at that."

"You're not losing me."

"I almost did," Jimin mumbled. "If it hadn't been for that person who brought you back— wait, they knew where you lived. They must be from around here—"

"Can we... can we not talk about that right now?" Taehyung didn't have it in him. Or at least that's what he told himself.

The other part of him wanted to keep that image of the tattoo a secret, make it a personal mission to find the stranger who had saved him. Perhaps it was because he wanted to have that moment to himself when he did find them. His hyungs would be all over the person should it be a team effort, but Taehyung felt selfish.

He wanted that moment to himself and to just thank the stranger for saving his life. Wanted to ask about the ink on his back. He wanted the person to be a secret to the world until they couldn't any longer. Like a guardian angel. Almost.

"Right, sorry," Jimin quieted. The silence didn't last long as the elder scrambled to do anything he could for him. "Once you eat, I'll get you a painkiller. You want anything else in the mean time?"

"Just stay with me." He smiled softly, the elder gently shoving him. Taehyung grinned and poked Jimin's side, feeling some confidence to not wallow in his sadness. "Kiss me better."

"You probably taste like a bucket of salt, hell no." Jimin joked, seeming to appreciate the uplifting mood.

"You like salty foods." Taehyung coughed with the next rumble of laughter, their playful teasing effective. "Come on."

"Go to sleep, dumbass," the elder snickered, squishing his cheeks like a baby. "You can keep that salty kiss for someone special."

"But you're special."

"I hate you, you know."

Taehyung smiled through the pain, glittery emotion lighting his eyes with some revival of life. "You know you love me."

"Too much, you absolute idiot. When you get a boyfriend, I'm gladly shipping you away."

"Wow, I really am an Amazon package."

Jimin's boisterous laugh filled his ears, small hands slapping his weak arms. The younger inwardly suffered as he laughed with him, enduring that pain for a moment of bliss.

Delicious aromas wafted into the living room from the kitchen soon enough, the four surfers eating the warm meal the two eldest had cooked.

Taehyung felt it settle in his stomach and took a painkiller, hoping the effects would kick in sooner than he expected. The home was quiet after that, Hoseok falling asleep in the armchair while watching him, since Jin and Jimin went the Tuan's for some time.

The artist glanced towards the beach through the sliding back doors, looking past the wooden patio and seeing the sky cleared of rain. The ocean was still a grayish color, the sun having yet to peel through the hazy atmosphere following a storm.

"You tried killing me today," Taehyung muttered to the water far from reach. "Shoving me down until I was drowning."

He would have refused to accept the facts of the morning's realness had it not been for the continuous stream of fear weighing heavy in his chest, making him cower from the idea of approaching the water.

"You'll do it again." He finally whispered, sealing his doubts into a chasm of trepidation and hopelessness.

He caught sight of some birds flying along the leaden sky, their wings outstretched in a graceful manner, soaring against the chains of gravity.

The picturesque view of birds in the beach's horizon left him to ponder over who had been there, seeing his board surface when he did not; someone who had risked their own life for him.

The person with the feather tattoo.

❧ ❧ ❧

tae as an amazon package... amazon would be making hella bank.

also no vmin don't have feelings for each other— best frand tingz ✨

love you all ♡

✵ NEETO ✵