For someone who treated her wedding as if it were an inconvenience, Amy had planned it within an inch of its life in true eldest sister fashion. The benefit was it gave me a whole long weekend's worth of distractions in Hilton Head, far away from Clemson and football and all of my misgivings.

In fact, I barely had time to think about Reid between all of the last-minute setups, rehearsal dinner, brunch and early roll call for the bridesmaids. I just wanted to be there for Amy.

"Here, this is the one." Beth handed me a tube of Charlotte Tilbury lip gloss as we were finishing getting ready in the bridesmaids suite.

"Oh thanks." I swiped it on quickly before capping it and handing it back to Beth. Amy had kept her bridesmaids fairly low maintenance, with Beth as her maid of honor, along with me and a few of her med school friends. We had satin baby blue halter dresses, and since the ceremony was going to be out on the dunes, it was easiest to stick to sandals.

It was almost February, but when I stepped out onto the balcony of the suite, the sun was warm on my skin. We were close enough for me to hear the waves of the ocean and the occasional seagull call, and I was filled with a sense of peace I realized I hadn't felt in a while.

Amy came out to join me, her simple white satin dress glowing in the sun and her hair loosely pinned up with a few orchids.

"You ready?" I asked her.

"No," she shook her head. "Is anybody ever?"

In the sense of love - real, aching, soulmate type love - I supposed she was right.

I took her hands in mine. "You look beautiful," I told her with a smile.

She echoed my smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "So do you."

My mother called for Amy, and the rest of us finished getting ready. The ceremony was held outside on the beach, where me, Beth, and the other bridesmaids had spent half of the morning tying white starfish and baby blue ribbon onto each end chair of an aisle. Jared's younger brother fittingly was my precession partner, and he held my arm firmly to keep me from sinking into the sand. I'd only met him that weekend, but he was nice.

The dunes were lined with tall stalks of marram grass that swayed in the gentle breeze, and as Amy and Jared read their vows to each other, I got emotional in a way I didn't expect. Even if things didn't work out for me, it was nice knowing that it worked out for other people in my life that mattered. It almost gave me hope.

There was a big deck back at the resort where the reception would be, with string lights along the railing that began flickering on as a gentle breeze came in from the ocean. Amy and Jared had their first dance to Boats and Birds by Gregory & The Hawk, and it made me unexpectedly sad. One line from that song stuck with me even after their dance was over, maybe because I related to it in a way I wished I didn't. I live to let you shine.

Jared's best friend gave one of those generic best man speeches - embarrassing and skirted the line between funny and obnoxious. Beth wasn't much better, but at least she was actually funny.

"Now actually, I'm gonna turn the mic over to our littlest sister, Jo." Beth gestured to me with a grin, and my heart stopped.

What? I mouthed to Amy.

"All the siblings have to speak," she whispered to me. "It's my wedding, I make the rules."

"Great," I grumbled before getting up from my chair at the bridesmaids table. Beth handed off the microphone to me with a shit-eating grin, and I had to fight the urge to pinch her in front of 120 people.

"Uh, hi." The microphone whined with a bit of feedback. Great start. "I'm Jo, Amy's youngest sister. Which...you already know, because Beth just said it."

That garnered a few half-hearted chuckles, and when I quickly scanned the crowd for any semblance of relief, I saw him.

I had to blink a few times to make sure I hadn't been hallucinating. He was leaning against the railing at the back of the deck beside the stairs to the beach, donning that godforsaken blue suit and wayfarers, so perfect that it made my whole body ache just to look at. When he realized I'd seen him, he gave me a nod and mouthed, go on.

And suddenly, everything felt right.

I cleared my throat before resuming my impromptu speech. "Now, if you had asked Amy a few years ago what she wanted her wedding to be like, she might have said she didn't want one at all, because it would have been an inconvenience to her and her residency. I think anyone that knows Amy knows that she throws herself into her work. It's what makes her so good at her job. But for as long as I've known Jared, he has a bit of a different approach to work and life in general. Slow down, look at things with a wide lens, and just...breathe sometimes. I think they've learned to ground each other in different ways, as if one knew exactly what the other needed."

I knew I should have kept my focus on Amy and Jared, but the magnetic poles in my body pulled my gaze to him like they always had, and probably always would. He gave me a smile, and I knew what I needed to say.

"I think Amy and Jared are the perfect example of bringing out the best in the person who's made just for us," I continued. "It's kind of like a lock and a key. The key opens the lock, much in the way that you open each other to the world. Suddenly nothing seems impossible, and you can do and conquer anything together. We don't question why, we just know it works."

Beth handed me my champagne glass, and I held it up for a toast. "To my brilliant sister and her brilliant husband." I glanced over at Amy and Jared before casting my gaze back out towards him. "I love you."

People clapped and cheered, but it felt like my insides were going to implode.

"You have five seconds," I whispered harshly to Amy.

"Didn't I just get through telling you this?" she rolled her eyes. "It's my wedding. I make the rules, and the guest list. Now go."

She shooed me away, and from there my body moved on its own, the magnets desperate to find its other half.

"Hi Jo." He greeted me with a faint smile.

"Hi, Reid." I couldn't hold back a smile either. I was so happy to see him I thought I'd explode. "I heard my sister invited you."

Reid pulled out a piece of paper from his suit jacket pocket and handed it to me. "I believe that's my name on it."

It was one of the table place cards, and sure enough in calligraphy it said Reid Donahue. Those sneaky minxes. It was cute in theory, but we had things to reckon with first. He knew that.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He gestured to the steps that led to the beach, and when he held out his hand for me to help me down the stairs, I couldn't reach for it fast enough.

When the sounds of the reception were barely audible over the gentle crashing of the ocean waves, I stopped. I looked up at him with perhaps more conviction than I ever had, for once just truly appreciating how beautiful he was as the setting sun hit him just right.

"Reid I...I just want you to know that I came looking for you, that day everyone cleaned their lockers out, and you were already gone. So I just thought maybe..." I swallowed the knot in my throat. "Maybe it was over for good."

Reid rubbed the back of his neck, and I could tell his hair had been freshly trimmed. "I figured you just wanted space. I mean, part of me really did understand why you did what you did. But then I got home, and the moment my sister said your name I just...I lost it. I don't wanna give you space. The only reason I was late today was because I was so fucking scared of what could happen, I basically had to get pushed out of my house."

"I'm scared too, Reid," I admitted, hearing the cracks in my voice.

Reid put his hands on my shoulders, and it was simultaneously the most gentle and the most secure touch I'd ever felt. "Don't be. I am gonna do everything in my power to make sure you get everything you deserve. And I don't mean like a job or whatever, I know you can do that on your own. I mean being loved and supported no matter what happens. I love you, I'm always going to love you, but I have your back too. You're one of my best friends, and if that's all I can be for you then...fine. So be it. I just want to be in your life, in whatever way you'll have me."

"Reid, I want you in every way. Always."

I wrapped my arms around him, and I never really noticed until now how perfectly my body fit into his, like a lock and a key.

Reid pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I felt him smile. "Damn that speech really worked, huh? I'm getting good at this."

I pulled away and jabbed him playfully in the arm. "Alright big shot, don't let it get to your head."

He grinned as he reached up to cup my face with his hand, gently brushing his thumb over my lips before kissing me in a way that felt like maybe, just maybe, it really would be always.   

END

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ONE MORE FOR THE KIDS!

i'm not crying, ur crying

real closing notes and more crying in the following part -->