College football in the south was way bigger than professional football. There was almost a sense of profoundness to it. In a split second, school pride and historic traditions pulled together and captivated a crowd of almost 100,000 people. No matter what school you went to or what traditions were held, being a part of something that substantial felt like an otherworldly, out of body, almost religious experience. If you believed in that sort of stuff.

I knew this before I'd made the decision to go to Clemson, but seeing it all from afar on television or in the stands was one thing, like something that still had an untouchable level of fictionality to it - it was still just a show. Standing in it, ground level surrounded by dozens of professional media personnel and equipment with levels of security clearances that rivaled the Pentagon, breathed life into something that seemed like just a mythos. The translucent, circular-shaped roof of the stadium was inspired the Pantheon for crying out loud, letting pillars of late afternoon sunlight come pouring down on us.

It all reminded me why I did what I did, and why I loved it.

Just as the football team had pre-game preparations, so did us as the media team. We'd borrowed a few more photographers from other media teams, and we had to station them in various corners of the field, dotted in between ESPN camera crews and reporters from various media outlets.

I had my own video project that I'd been working on that would be up on social media tomorrow, so aside from filming the content for that, I'd officially stepped into my role as Head Bitch In Charge - which meant I did a lot of delegating, for better or for worse. Even though I'd technically been in that role since fall practice started, having to actually do it in-game now made me antsy. But I was ready. I had to be.

I was, however, still in charge of graphics (because if you want that shit done right, do it yourself), so any pictures the other photographers were taking would be uploaded into our cloud, and I would be using them to make graphics for Instagram during the game when there were big plays or a score.

The two teams had to share the field for warmups - each team given 50 yards from midfield to a respective end zone - but sharing the space was practically an open invitation for shenanigans...which started almost immediately. Clemson and Georgia weren't really rivals. They didn't play in the same conference, and they'd rarely faced each other outside of the recent playoff format the last few years. But even though it was considered a neutral site for the game, we were in the state of Georgia - in their house - and they made it known, starting with fucking with Derek.

As the team's starting kicker, he set himself up facing the end zone with a kicking tee and practiced field goals and extra points. Sometimes Johnny would come over and hold the ball, but Derek was in his own little kicking universe for the most part.

Some of the Georgia receivers were further downfield to practice deep catches from their quarterbacks, and they were just close enough to inch away from their lineup to knock Derek's tee over when he wasn't looking.

The first time they did it, it was harmless. The second time they did it, it was annoying. By the third time, they were literally picking the tee up and tossing it in the other direction, laughing and playfully jostling each other.

"Um, are they allowed to do that?" Mara asked, scrunching her face up in disgust. She kept her eyes on Derek as he made an attempt to get into one of the Georgia receiver's faces, but was quickly pulled away by Johnny.

"It's a dick move, but it's not against the rules," I told her. "The game hasn't started, so there's no refs here to throw flags."

"Dick move is right," Mara muttered with a huff.

I smirked to myself before elbowing her. "Don't worry, Derek can handle himself."

"I wasn't worried," she perked up. "I just don't appreciate the unsportsmanlike conduct. That's all."

She went back to setting up her camera, and I let her be, turning away to survey the rest of the field. It wasn't like I was looking for Reid, but he was too easy to find at the 10 yard line, getting tossed footballs by an assistant coach before effortlessly heaving them downfield towards JJ and a few other receivers.

It wasn't that I'd never seen Reid throw a football before. In fact, I'd probably seen it a hundred times by now. But it was seeing him do it here, under the same Pantheon-esque pillars of light while 70,000 pairs of eyes watched him, with a kind of grace and ease as if he was alone in his backyard. So even though he could throw an accurate, tight spiral 50 yards downfield practically flat-footed, it was the way he did it with poised but surgical precision that truly elevated him above everyone else.

I also wasn't ignorant to the fact that I just looked at Reid differently now, handsome and enticing even in a hoodie and Nike shorts. I just didn't need anyone else to know that.

Thankfully before anyone else realized I'd been practically making googly eyes at him, a commotion drew my attention to the end zone. Derek had gotten into it again with a few of the Georgia receivers, and now instead of holding him back, Johnny had also gotten involved. Just when one of the Georgia players got so close to Johnny's face I thought he was actually ready to headbutt him, Reid came barging in from what felt like out of nowhere and stepped between Johnny and the Georgia player. Reid had a good five inches on the guy, and they jawed back and forth as the Georgia guys started to back away. A few other players from each team came over to pull their respective guys apart and diffused the situation. For now, at least.

"Jo. Hello, Jo?"

Mara shook my shoulder, and whatever trance I had fallen into had been broken. I hadn't realized until then that I'd balled my hands up into such tight fists, I'd left nail marks on my palms.

"Cheese and crackers," Mara let out an exasperated sigh. "Is it always this...tense?"

"No," I shook my head. "But it's opening day. It's like taking a deep breath before jumping off a cliff."

"Poetic," Mara scoffed. "As always."

It was about an hour until game time, but Mara was right - it already felt like the air had been sucked out of the stadium. In about fifteen minutes both teams would go back into the locker rooms to get suited up and go through whatever final pregame rituals they had. I knew the timing schedule almost to the minute because that was my project - I'd planned a rather aesthetic, ASMR Countdown Until Gametime video that I hoped would get some traction on social media. So I had been following players around, taking snippets of videos for the last two hours or so, and my work would be done once the game started, allowing me to do all that delegating - and maybe actually enjoy the game.

I had not gotten around to filming anything of Reid yet (intentionally or not), but now so close to gametime, I was almost afraid to get too close and rattle him, like a tiger in a cage.

Eventually the team filed back into the locker room, and a sort of calm fell over the stadium. Hype music was still playing, people were still cheering, but the air seemed to hum with anticipation, as if there was a storm brewing.

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The first three quarters went by in an adrenaline-induced blur for all of us. I had to maintain my responsibilities while still giving most of my attention to the game - even at times wanting to just be an ordinary fan. Georgia got the ball to start the game and scored almost immediately, but I didn't find myself shaky with anticipation until Reid and the offense took the field for the first time. I didn't move. I didn't even want to breathe.

His first few passes were massive overshoots, like his nerves were spiking his energy levels into overdrive. I couldn't begin to imagine what was going through his head during the first few possessions, and when he'd come back onto the sideline I had to fight every neuron in me from going over there and flinging my arms around him. The one time he found my eyes, I gave him a simple nod. He was unreactive as he slipped his helmet back on, but I knew he'd seen me, and that was all I could do.

Reid drove them down the field and ran over two of Georgia's linemen, breaking away for a 20 yard run into the end zone as if that big titanium brace on his leg was made of feathers and not steel.

Touchdown, Reid Donahue!

The announcer's voice boomed over the crowd, and Mara and I jumped into each other's arms, cheering with excitement. There was no such celebration for Reid as he walked calmly back to the bench - no limp in sight - and dropped his helmet beside him. We made eye contact again, and this time when I nodded at him, the corners of his lips lifted into the faintest grin.

It was tied 7-7 at halftime, and after I'd posted the halftime score graphic to Instagram, I managed to sneak into the sideline huddle to film some content before they took the field to start the second half. As Reid rallied his team, it was easy to see why they stitched the big white C onto his jersey. His ability to lead and captivate those around him was unmatched, as a captain should be.

"Hey, it's zero-zero now, boys. What we did in the first half doesn't fuckin' matter now. We're the better team, you hear me? We are the better team. I know that, and you know that. So let's put a dagger in 'em and finish this thing."

Reid then proceeded to heave a towering 50 yard pass to JJ, who took it in for the touchdown, and the lead. Reid busted out the Archer celebration to raucous applause from the Clemson fans, and thank god I'd been filming it. I immediately posted it to Instagram stories. No matter the outcome of this game, the college football world needed to know that Reid Donahue was fucking back.

By the middle of the 4th quarter, it was 17-14, with Georgia winning. There was a clear lack of offensive production for both teams in the second half, which wasn't abnormal for college football when the matchup was even - especially from teams that touted strong defenses like both Clemson and Georgia. They were both top five ranked programs going into this game, and they played like it.

Every time I'd look up at the game clock, chunks and chunks of time would disappear into the void. There was one minute left, and Clemson had the ball.

"I really hope most games are not like this," Mara let out a half-hearted laugh as she bounced on her toes. "I cannot handle the stress, I'm gonna go prematurely gray."

"I know," I nodded in agreement. "All we need to do is get within field goal range, and Derek could tie it for us and take it into overtime."

In games like these, no matter what our prior responsibilities were, we all resigned ourselves to become nothing but passengers, and I clenched my fists with the knowledge that there was nothing I could do that would affect the outcome of the game. Reid was the sole driver.

It was 4th and 4 at the Georgia 45 yard line. From there, it would be a 55 yard field goal attempt for Derek, which wasn't totally out of his range. I'd seen him hit it from further, but you can never truly account for the way your body will react when making an attempt with the game on the line.

But instead of Derek and the field goal unit going out onto the field, Reid and the offense remained out there.

"Wait, what are they doing?" Mara asked, reaching out to clutch my forearm.

I heaved out a sigh. "Probably trying to run the clock down, maybe get closer and give Derek a better shot. Statistics suggest you go for it on 4th down when it's 5 yards or less. Getting a first down also means they'd get three more chances to actually win it."

"Statistics are stupid," Mara muttered. "Just kick the ball and take the points. Go for the tie."

While I knew there was plenty of validity in Mara's words, I also knew Reid was in the middle of that huddle, unfazed and unhindered by the noise and the pressure.

Reid Donahue always wanted the last word, and the last play.

The entire sideline took a collective inhale as the ball was snapped to Reid. Georgia's defense saw through the play immediately, and just like Reid had told me the morning we laid together and watched film, their pass rushers tore through the offensive line and blitzed him in what felt like the blink of an eye.

Reid evaded one defender, and then spun away from one more before taking off running like the boogeyman was behind him.

"Oh my god, JJ's wide open in the end zone," I hissed out through clenched teeth as I was the one now reaching for Mara's arm.

But Reid was a runaway freight train, keeping his head down and leaping over another defender that had dived for his feet. Another Georgia player came over top and tackled Reid while he was midair, sending him crashing down onto the turf. I instinctively squeezed Mara's hand as Reid was slow to get up onto his knees.

"Did he get it?" she asked in almost a whisper, but the stadium was so quiet that I could hear her clearly.

There was so much commotion on the field at first that it was hard to pinpoint where the ball was, until I caught sight of a Georgia defender running into the opposite end zone, waving the football over his head in celebration, and with it came a roar of cheers from the Georgia fans.

"No," I managed to breathe out. "No way."

But Reid already knew the outcome before anyone else as he came back to the bench and tossed his helmet to the side in frustration. He draped a towel over his head as the replay of Reid, midair, losing the ball before tumbling down onto the turf played out in slow motion on the jumbotron in the end zone.

The referee came to the middle of the field, and his voice echoed off of the silence of the stadium. "The ruling on the field is that the runner lost possession of the ball before touching the ground. The result of the play is a fumble, recovered by the defense. Touchdown, Georgia."

The loyal Georgia crowd exploded into screams and cheers as the clock hit 0:00. Game over.

You can experience the highest highs and the lowest lows in college football. Winning catapults you into another stratosphere. Losing drops you into a sinkhole, and you have to find a way to claw yourself out before you're buried alive. 

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and just as the real life football season is coming to an end, our football season here is just beginning.

did y'all expect this outcome for their first game? what do you think happens now? would love to hear any thoughts and comments! <3