10. Face Off

You met with Mikasa at a small cafe just across the street, it was cozy and definitely a good place to have a private conversation, even if that meant having your friendship probably ruined. "Hey, thank you for meeting with me." You sat at the table, right in front of Mikasa who smiled softly.

"Of course, you sounded a bit upset." She commented. "By the way, I already ordered our usuals, is it ok?"

"Yeah, that's perfect." Your voice was shaking and you could feel your palms sweating so much. How could you approach the topic without risking a whole scene like the one you had with Jean? "So... I kind of have something to tell you." You admitted then avoided eye contact.

The girl frowned preoccupied. "Sure, what is it?"

It hurt, the words were stuck right in the middle of your throat and you didn't know how to get them out. You knew it was going to hurt a lot, she had only eyes for Eren and you had been selfish enough to take him away, or at least any chance she had with him. "I..." you started nervously. C'mon Y/n, it's either this or Jean telling her and he's not gonna be so gentle about it. You knew that but it was so damn difficult. "I talked to my parents about dropping out." You blurted out.

Mikasa remained silent for a moment and then frowned. "Where is this coming from? I thought you wanted to finish college?"

"I did, I really did but let's face it, it's not for me. Studying is hard and I'm not motivated nor into it anymore, I'd rather get a job and start doing something I actually like and my parents have always been against it. So I called them this morning and explained my motives and they told me to think about it very carefully but they'll try to support me." You forced a smile. That wasn't the truth you had to tell her, but it was still something. Besides, that was something really important to you.

She nodded understanding. "I get it, you still have a few years in front of you and if those feel too much, you can definitely find something else. Still, you're throwing away everything you've done till now, your hard work and late assignments, is it really worth it?" Her words touched you, you had never thought about it that way.

Dropping out meant that you had failed and those two years of sacrifice were for nothing. It felt sad, but at the same time, you couldn't imagine going on in the future like that. Why was it so difficult for you to find your way? The people around you seemed to get it right every time, maybe you were overthinking about it too much.

You shook your head trying to get rid of those thoughts, that wasn't the right moment to analyze your life choices, you still had a bigger issue at hand. How you wished you could've just explained the situation and closed it at that, any other friend would've judged you a little and then forgotten about it, but Mikasa wasn't like that.

"You're right, I still need to think about it." You muttered as your drinks arrived, you took a sip of your coffee and looked at the girl sitting in front of you. She was so calm, as usual, sometimes you wondered how would've felt to be her for a day. Mikasa seemed like the perfect girl without a single worry in her life, she had a great family, and amazing grades, and she was beautiful and smart, not to mention the fact that she was one of the strongest girls you knew. She was your opposite, you were a total mess and there was nothing you could do about that.

"If you need to talk about it I'm always here, it would suck to see my best friend drop out." She said with a saddened expression.

"But we'd keep in contact, right?" You asked hopefully.

She giggled. "That's for sure, how could you go on without me?"

That comment kind of made you feel like crap. It was true that you relied a lot on her, but to say it like that, you felt like a little kid. You faked a small laugh and looked down at the table, so what now? "I'm not sure." You whispered to yourself.

Mikasa tilted her head. "Is there something bugging you? You seem off, did something happen?" Her question sounded genuine, with no hint of malice or anger. She didn't know.

Your stomach was in knots, you could barely gulp down your coffee. "Actually... yeah." You said slowly, trying to remain as composed as you could, it was time to say it once and for all. "Mikasa, I haven't been totally honest with you."

She blinked confused. "Ok..?"

You took a deep breath. "When I told you I couldn't stand Professor Jeager... I lied." You started, maybe being direct was the best solution but you were a coward so you were going to slowly get to it. Mikasa seemed very confused by your words. "I like him."

She raised an eyebrow. "That's... good? I've always told you that you were too hard on him, he's so nice." She said with that dreamy look in her eyes that made your chest feel heavy.

"I know. That's why I'm saying, I actually really like him... like when you have a crush on someone."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Mikasa sighed. "Well, I can see why."

You bit your lip nervously. "And we... kind of... you know, we've got kind of close to each other?" Those words made Mikasa freeze on the spot, you could see just how worried about what you were going to say next. "And well, we became friends outside of school but then it became something bigger, and we... got together." You ended your sentence in almost a whisper and waited for her reaction.

But she just stood there, her eyes staring at you with a blank expression, it felt so awkward. "This..." she opened her mouth carefully. "Is this because I kissed Jean?"

You shook your head. "No it's no- wait, you kissed Jean?! When?!" The realization of what she had just said hit you like a train, where was this coming from and why hadn't Jean said anything about it?

Mikasa placed her hands on her lap. "We kissed that night at the party, after you left Jean came to me to talk about you, since it was late he offered to walk me home and wait for you but once we were alone we started talking about random stuff, and somehow we kissed. It's been haunting me since then, that's why I've been feeling so awkward with you, I thought you knew and you were mad at me for kissing your ex-boyfriend." She admitted.

Did that bother you? No, not really and it didn't surprise you either knowing the comments Jean had made in the past. What upset you was the fact that Jean had acted so highly earlier, telling you that you were selfish, when he had been hiding some secrets as well. He was as messed up as you. "So... do you like him?" You asked, you kind of hoped for a positive answer, because that meant she could've moved on from Eren and everything could've been forgiven and forgotten.

"I don't think so." She answered. "I didn't really talk to him after that, just a few times but we totally ignored what happened.

"That fucker." You whispered. He kissed your best friend and then tried to come to you to get back together, who does that?! Not that you had been a saint, but still.

"So you didn't flirt with Professor Jeager to get back at me?"

"What? No!" You replied immediately. "First of all, I never flirted with him... it just happened." You and Eren had never really flirted, you just got closer and closer each time you shared a conversation, that was all. "Second, I didn't do anything to get back at you for something. Really, I was so scared to tell you and I still am because I know how much you like Eren."

She remained silent and thought about it for a while. "So... you slept with him?"

"Yes, but that was after we decided to get together." You tried to justify your actions.

"Together as in...?"

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Her expression suddenly changed, her eyes felt as cold as ice. You had seen her mad only a few times but never at you, this was different. "How?"

You blinked confused. "What do you mean?"

"How did this even happen? You never even paid attention to him in class!"

"It started when I had all those assignments that I had forgotten to do. It wasn't anything bad at first, we would meet and discuss my essays and ways to make them better, then it became a chitchat at a cafe, and then suddenly we were exchanging emails every day." You explained with a small smile, it seemed like everything happened years ago when it was barely a few months. "I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if telling you was the best idea."

Mikasa looked away, you could feel her irritation. "I just don't understand. Why would you do that? You knew I like him, I've always worked extra hard to make sure he noticed me, all this time I've been confiding in you when you were in a relationship with him."

"It's bad I know, I didn't do it with any bad intentions! At first, I was so scared, I didn't want to upset you, but Eren and I shared a connection and it's amazing and I've never been happier." What could you say at that point to make it better? You could just hope that Mikasa would've understood.

"I don't know what to say. I'm just so surprised that he got interested in you in the first place."

You raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying. You've never cared about his subject or his job, he had to spend his free time helping you with those assignments because you never cared enough to take them seriously! Your grades are barely acceptable yet he preferred you?"

That was mean, even for her.

It was weird but you had always felt this small note of jealousy towards Mikasa knowing that she was so much better than you, so now hearing her complain about it made you feel a little better about yourself. "Mikasa, it's not like we were competing or something, he simply liked me, that's it." You tried to stop her on the spot.

She sighed. "Do you even know what will happen if people find out?"

"Jean found out."

Mikasa rolled her eyes. "Great, you basically ruined his career."

"Woah. I am your best friend, are you really worried about him right now?"

"My best friend wouldn't have gotten with the man I like." She replied instantly.

You gulped and slowly got up from the chair. "I said I'm sorry, couldn't you be a little happy for me? After what happened with Jean I'm finally in a good place." She wasn't even looking at you, her lips remained sealed in a small pout. "Fine, I'll give you some time to think."

"Are you going home?"

"No, you're mad at me and I'm exhausted, I'll sleep elsewhere and we'll talk in the morning." You offered a small smile. "Please, try to see everything from my point of view."

"You should try that too." She hissed. "I just want to be alone now."

**

"Of course you can stay the night." Historia smiled happily as she brought a couple of pillows on the couch she had prepared for you. "I'm just sorry we don't have a guest room, but the sofa is very comfortable, I always end up sleeping here when I'm watching the TV till late."

After your conversation with Mikasa, you felt rather confused about what to do, you could've asked Eren to let you stay at his place but it seemed a bit rude since he had other plans with his friend. So you ended up calling the only person you had been honest with within the last month, Historia.

She had been so available and open, you still wondered why you hadn't met her before. She was this free spirit and you really liked her, she made you feel somewhat at ease. "Thank you again." You muttered as you sat down. "I'm sorry to intrude like this but I had an argument with my roommate so spending the night together wasn't exactly the best idea."

"I totally get it, when I fight with my girlfriend we always need at least a few hours apart to calm down before talking about it." She patted your shoulder. "What happened? If I can investigate a little."

You sighed. "Well, she found out about my relationship with Eren and... she is kinda in love with him? It's weird to explain now that I think about it." You realized just how fucked up that sounded, mostly because Eren wasn't exactly a random guy that both of you happened to like for some reason. "Can you believe that a teacher would cause all this drama?" You giggled a little.

Historia shrugged. "Sure, why not? I get that she was a bit surprised by it but, really, why would that be your fault in the first place?" She asked confused and you looked at her in disbelief, she was probably the first person that had ever taken your side just like that. "I mean, you guys have been friends for what? A few years? I hope she won't throw it away just because her crush chose you, mostly because she didn't really try anything with him. You simply got to know him and risked it."

"You make it sound so easy." You leaned against the couch. "She feels betrayed and I can see why, I knew she had this obsession with him but I didn't know things would've evolved like this!" You snorted irritated. "And if I can be totally honest with you, I don't think she would've had a chance with him to begin with."

The girl smirked. "That's more like it. You don't have to be gentle about it just because it's your best friend. It's your life, you can't let others dictate it for you." She grabbed your hand. "You need to fight for your relationship, that's the only right thing to do and if your friend doesn't approve of it then she can go fuck herself!" She raised her voice so much that you looked at her in pure surprise, she really was passionate about it.

"Yeah well, first I need to make sure that she doesn't tell other people or Eren might get into trouble."

"Oh yeah, also that." She nodded enthusiastically.

The front door opened and you heard the sound of someone's steps, Historia immediately got up and ran towards the entrance. "You're back! Did you get dinner? You're the best!" You turned to see Historia hugging another girl who was placing some McDonald's bags on the floor.

"Yeah yeah." The girl snorted, but for some reason, you felt as if you had already seen her somewhere. "Is your friend already here?" She turned and saw you there, sitting on the couch. "Y/n?" She asked confused.

You blinked a few times. "Wait... Ymir?" You got up and joined them. "You're Historia's girlfriend?" You asked surprised. Of course you knew Ymir, she was part of your friend group, well, Jean's friend group but she barely hung out with them, she only came to a few parties and the two of you had chitchatted a few times before.

"So it seems." She smiled. "So you're the one who's sleeping with that teacher, huh? I'm surprised." She patted Historia's head a few times before getting the bag and walking towards the kitchen. "It's nice to have you here."

The blonde girl turned to look at you. "You know each other? That's great!"

"Yeah, we've talked before." You shrugged. "But I would've never imagined that you guys were a thing! But that would explain why you were at Jean's party, to begin with." You murmured under your breath.

"Oh yeah, I don't really like her friends but that night I wanted to have some fun." She explained as you joined Ymir in the kitchen. "I was a bit worried it was going to be awkward, but this is perfect." She sat down and grabbed her hamburger. "You guys have so much in common!"

You frowned. "Like what?"

"You both hate studying, you have a relationship that has been disapproved by most of your friends and... well that's it I guess." She giggled.

Ymir sat next to you and sighed. "So, what happened? I thought you would've asked Jean for help or some other idiot." She grabbed her Coke and took a big sip of it.

"Jean and I don't really talk anymore... I haven't hung out with the others as well, they're a little biased and the last thing I need is to get his friend's glares." You explained as you grabbed some fries. "I got into an argument with Mikasa."

"The cold one?" She asked and you nodded. "Damn, must suck." She shrugged. "You can stay here as long as you need, I don't mind since I'm at work almost all day and Historia has classes, we barely spend any time here."

"I thought you were still studying, no one told me you dropped out." You pointed out curiously, people liked to talk and there was always a lot of gossip going around, yet you had never heard anyone talking about her.

The brunette smiled. "I don't exactly let people into my business." She was joking, but you felt a note of superiority in it. "But yeah, college just wasn't doing it for me, besides the company I'm working at is great. I make money doing the bare minimum and also get free time." She bragged.

"Don't you regret dropping out?"

Ymir looked at you for a moment, it was as if she was trying to study you, your expression, your tone and even the words you had used. She then sat up straight. "Listen, college isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean that you can't finish your studies if you put in some hard work. I could've finished it but I just didn't care." She started. "I know you're struggling but you shouldn't base your choice on other people's decisions."

It was true, you were basing everything on other people's suggestions and experiences because you truly didn't know what to do. It was stressing you so much, it was as if you had this small interrogation point always weighing on your head, it was giving you a headache. "I know, I'm just in a weird place right now and I'm trying to understand what would work better for me." You explained briefly. "I mean, what if I drop out? Who's gonna hire me?"

Historia clicked her tongue. "I wouldn't be so sure about that, your drawings are amazing, I'm sure someone needs your talent."

Ymir frowned. "You work with digital art?"

You shrugged. "Sometimes yeah."

"She showed me some of her drawings on her phone and they're amazing! I asked her to draw me and she said that she will when she gets time." The blonde girl giggled.

"I'll make sure to do it."

The brunette hummed. "The company I'm working at is looking for a graphic designer for their marketing team, would you like to try for that position?"She asked and you blinked confused, "There's no downside in trying, if they like you then you'll have a possibility out of school or not, your choice." She shrugged again.

"Maybe I'll try." You reasoned out loud. "Thank you."