"Frankie - I don't know what to pack, what the hell do you take to Heaven anyway...wait - if I'm a demon, can I even get into Heaven, shouldn't I be banned or some shit?" Gerard rambled, his head half stuffed into the closet as he spoke, random articles of clothing flying out as he dug through his possessions.

Frank had spent the rest of the day explaining their past lives to Gerard, and even though it had been difficult fully describing everything since Gerard had no memory of any of it, Gerard had become much more convinced that Frank's tale was true, but also much more frantic, and even though Frank was ecstatic that Gerard actually believed him, he hadn't expected him to be such a nervous wreck already.

"Frank - are you even listening to me?" Gerard called out loudly, not that it was needed, Frank was only a few feet away sitting on the bed.

"Yes baby, I am, and I don't know, I'm just bringing some clothes and pictures, stuff I would hate to lose, and no, you aren't banned from Heaven, I promise," Frank finally spoke up, trying his best not to laugh when Gerard huffed in exasperation.

"But I care about everything," Gerard wailed, his hands flying about as he finally pulled himself back into a sitting position, allowing Frank to see his face. "What about my paintings, and our house - oh fuck, what am I going to tell my parents?"

"Gee, calm down love - please," Frank cooed, sliding off the bed so he could wrap his arms around his husband. "We don't even have to leave tonight if we aren't ready. If you want, I can call Brendon down so we can talk to him, you can ask him what we should tell our families, and maybe he could help us with packing as well," Frank suggested, trying his best to soothe Gerard before he became hysterical.

"Yeah...okay, that sounds good. I'm sorry Frank, this day has just been so fucking weird, and I still can't wrap my head around half of this."

"I know, believe me I do, and it means so fucking much that you are trusting me, but everything is going to be okay," Frank whispered, rubbing Gerard's back softly until he felt his muscles relax under his touch.

"Are you going to call him now?" Gerard asked nervously, his shaky breath hitting Frank's neck when he exhaled.

"Yeah, I don't know how long it will take him to get here though."

Frank shut his eyes when Gerard only nodded in response, projecting Brendon's name loudly in his mind. It had been ages since he had called for another angel, and he had never done it as a human before, so he wasn't entirely sure if this was going to work, but Brendon had said it would, so Frank was going to have to trust him.

"Did he hear you?" Gerard asked fearfully, his eyes darting around as if he expected Brendon to appear at any moment.

"I think so, but angels can't teleport love, he still has to fly here."

"Oh...damn that would be cool if you could though," Gerard chuckled softly. "So what do we do until he gets here?"

"Let's finish packing, and then I can think of a few things to do that will pass the time." Frank waggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Gerard to emit a high pitched giggle before pressing his lips to Frank's in a soft kiss.

~~~

"They are ready," Brendon sighed, sitting up in his bed abruptly, disturbing Ryan, who was actually in his room for once instead of wherever the fuck he went when he disappeared without a word. 

"Good," was all Ryan said, his face devoid of any emotion.

"I thought you would be happy about that," Brendon remarked in a snarky fashion, tugging a coat around his body as he spoke.

"I am," Ryan shrugged, the cold tone to his voice causing Brendon's blood to boil.

"Okay...what the hell is wrong with you Ryan, and don't tell me you are fine, because that's bullshit. I could understand that you were upset with me for not going to Frank sooner, I deserved that, but you have no reason to be acting this way anymore, and I'm fucking sick of it," Brendon snapped, everything he had been holding inside for the past few weeks finally bubbling out of his mouth in a flurry of words laced with frustration and hurt.

"I - nothing's wrong Bren...I'm just tired I guess," Ryan sighed, his eyes darting everywhere in a pathetic attempt to avoid Brendon's stare.

"'Look at me," Brendon commanded, and when Ryan failed to listen to him, he grasped his chin in his hand, forcing Ryan to meet his gaze. "I hate this Ryan, I fucking hate it. I feel like I don't even know you anymore...and it's scaring me. Just tell me what I'm doing wrong, let me fix this...let me fix us?" Brendon pleaded, his earlier fury draining out of his body just as rapidly as it had appeared, leaving him feeling exhausted and weak.

"I - I'm sorry, you didn't do anything wrong, I swear...I'm just scared," Ryan admitted quietly, the uncaring facade he had wrapped around himself cracking a bit under Brendon's penetrating scrutiny.

"Scared...of what baby?" Brendon pressed, his hand falling from Ryan's face so he could wrap him up in his arms as Ryan began to shudder softly.

"Everything," Ryan borderline sobbed, pressing his face against Brendon's t-shirt weakly. "This is just like last time, when I died...but I was ignorant back then, I didn't really understand what was happening, and I wasn't afraid, because I knew I could come back again, but now I can't."

"Ry...oh love, you aren't going to die, I promise, I won't let that happen. I'm going to be with you the entire time, and I will protect you."

"But what if you die...I can't - I can't do this Brendon, I can't go through this again. Last time hurt so much, and I barely knew anyone then, but now, now everything's changed, and I - I guess I've been trying to push you away in the hopes of saving us both some pain in the end," Ryan sniffled as Brendon ran a hand through his hair reassuringly.

Brendon hated seeing Ryan cry, he always looked so devastated and fragile, but in a way, he was actually glad that this was happening, and he finally understood why Ryan had been acting like such an asshole toward him, and really - Brendon should have caught on to this before, but he had been so busy dealing with the prophecy that he hadn't realized the reason behind Ryan's odd behavior.

Ryan had been this way before when Brendon first met him, back when they had both been human, but that was so long ago that it had slipped Brendon's mind, but now all the old memories came pouring back, bringing with them a sense of clarity that Brendon had so desperately been searching for.

Brendon had known of Ryan for quite some time, but it had been in high school when their story truly started. Ryan had a reputation for being a dick, sort of a bad boy actually, but instead of leather and studs, he wore flowery tops and headbands, but Ryan was so cool, he could get away with it and no one ever teased him.

Brendon had mooned over Ryan hopelessly for years, never actually making a move, because he had been the theater nerd back then, and someone with Ryan's social status should have no interest in him, but everything changed when Brendon found Ryan sobbing in the boys toilets one day at lunch.

Brendon had approached him hesitantly despite his natural instincts which were screaming at him to shut the door and pretend he hadn't seen anything, because knowing Ryan, he would lash out at Brendon and make his life a living hell for letting Brendon witness him in such a weak moment, but Brendon's affection for Ryan won out, and before he could second guess his actions, he was kneeling on the grimy floor next to Ryan, holding out a damp paper towel to him so he could wipe his face.

Ryan reacted exactly how Brendon had expected him to, shoving him down and telling him to leave him the fuck alone, so Brendon did, but he didn't forget the broken expression on Ryan's face, and he made it his mission to find out what had caused the strong boy to dissolve into such a wreck.

That wasn't the last day Brendon found Ryan crying around various parts of the school, and each time he would try to help him, only to be pushed away over and over again, but Brendon didn't give up, even though the whole situation seemed hopeless. Deep down, Brendon knew that Ryan needed someone, and he was determined to be that person, even though Ryan wanted nothing to do with him.

Brendon had been walking home from school one day, disappointed because Ryan hadn't been there, when shouting reached his ears, and a familiar figure appeared on a nearby porch. It was Ryan - except he didn't look like the boy Brendon knew. He was in a ratty t-shirt and torn up jeans, his makeup and headband gone, with tears streaming down his face.

"And stay out, I don't want to see your face around here again," a male voice called out before the door was slammed shut, leaving Ryan standing there paralyzed, his body shaking thanks to the chilly atmosphere.

Brendon had stopped walking the instant he saw Ryan, but he seemed to have lost his voice; he meant to call out to the boy, he ached to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but when Ryan turned around slowly, his eyes locking with Brendon's, all the words Brendon had wanted to say dried up in his throat, so he did the only thing he could think of and extended his hand, inviting Ryan to come over to him.

And against all odds, Ryan actually did, even though he didn't speak a word, he only followed behind Brendon as he led the way to his house, hastily wiping his tears as he went. Brendon didn't pry, because he could tell that Ryan was one second away from breaking right now, and any little thing could set him off, changing him back into the asshole that Brendon was so familiar with.

Ryan fell asleep almost as soon as Brendon led him into his room, the exhaustion plain on his face, and Brendon let him, crashing on the couch so he wouldn't disturb him, but when he woke up, Ryan was gone, leaving only a hastily scribbled thank you note on top of the pillow which was still indented from use.

This went on for quite some time: Brendon reaching out, Ryan sometimes accepting his helping hand, sometimes shoving him away, but eventually, Brendon began to crack away at the hard shell Ryan had covered himself in, and as Ryan's secrets poured out, so did his real self, and Brendon was falling harder for Ryan with every passing day.

Ryan finally explained what had happened that afternoon when Brendon had found him on his porch; it was out of the blue, Ryan had just appeared at Brendon's side when he was walking to school one morning and spilled the story out, leaving Brendon shell shocked and slightly confused.

Apparently Ryan lived with his father, his mother had died a year ago, and ever since her death, Ryan had become more feminine, honoring her with his clothing in a way his father didn't understand. Ryan kept emphasizing that his father wasn't a bad person, just ignorant, and he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Ryan wasn't the picture perfect son he always wanted.

Ryan insisted that it didn't matter how he dressed, and he was still a boy, no matter what he decided to wear, but his father just didn't understand, and this led to numerous fights in which he would throw Ryan out of the house, only to let him in the next day with halfhearted apologies on his lips.

That wasn't the only reason they argued though; Ryan's grades were an issue too, they had been slipping ever since his mother's death, and Ryan's father was not okay with that. He needed his son to go to a university for some unexplained reason, and at the rate Ryan was going, he would have to work to get into the local community college, but Ryan didn't really care.

Ryan also spoke about his mother, mentioning how much he missed her, how she always supported him, and now that she was gone, he felt adrift and alone, and his dad refused to acknowledge his grief, bottling his own emotions up deep inside him. Brendon had wanted to comfort Ryan, to tell him that he would do his best to be there for him when his family wasn't, but before he could speak, Ryan was gone, his rapid footsteps echoing in the still air as he distanced himself from Brendon as quickly as possible.

This happened quite often over the next few months; Ryan would pop up and divulge some secret of his before disappearing again, leaving Brendon to ponder over what he had learned, and also with a better understanding of why Ryan acted the way that he did.

"Why are you always so nice to me?" Ryan asked one day when Brendon had dragged him back to his house after another dispute with his father.

"Because you need someone to be," was Brendon's simple answer.

And yes - to an outsider, Brendon's behavior may have seemed odd. Ryan wasn't necessarily cruel to him, but he wasn't kind to him either. Ryan basically ignored him in school, sometimes taunting him whenever his friends were around, and even when it was just Brendon and Ryan, Ryan very rarely spoke, ignoring Brendon for the most part, leaving small thank you letters as his only form of communication.

"But that doesn't make sense...you - you could ruin me with the information you know, and you haven't, I just want to know why?" Ryan had pressed.

"Because I care about you," Brendon admitted, wiping his sweaty palms again the couch they were seated on discreetly.

"Oh...well you shouldn't," Ryan had spat out, and even though Brendon had been expecting Ryan to say something like that, it still fucking hurt. "Caring for others is pointless, you always get screwed over in the end."

"Well even if I do, it's worth it in the long run," Brendon had insisted, his body leaning forward as he tried to put as much passion as possible into his words.

"It's not, everyone you love will leave you, hurt you - fuck...I just can't," Ryan sighed, and that was when Brendon first realized that Ryan had feelings for him too, he was just too afraid to act on them.

Ryan had been hurt - hurt badly, and Brendon didn't blame him for his reluctance, but he wanted to show Ryan that he wouldn't do those things to Ryan, not ever. He knew that was an empty promise, and he did end up breaking it with his death at a young age, which had nearly destroyed Ryan later on down the road, but he didn't know about his sickness then, or maybe he wouldn't have pursued Ryan so relentlessly.

But the fact stood that Brendon wasn't going to give up on Ryan, because he needed him, he needed to make him happy, needed to see his smile and know that he had been the one to put it on his face, so he did something stupid, or maybe brilliant, but whatever it was, it was definitely nerve wracking.

And when Brendon pressed his lips against Ryan's in a chaste kiss, he actually felt sparks erupting upon every point their skin touched, and against all odds, Ryan kissed him back; not for long, but it was enough to feel Ryan's lips moving against his own for those few short moments.

"Just give me a chance," Brendon had pleaded, pressing his forehead against Ryan's in an effort to continue touching him even though their kiss had ended.

"I - okay."

It wasn't perfect after that, of course it wasn't; it took Ryan ages to fully trust and open up to Brendon, but in the end, it was all worth it, because underneath his harsh exterior, Ryan was the sweetest person Brendon had ever met, and he craved love, he had just been too afraid to reach out for it after everything he had suffered through.

Brendon felt like smacking himself for not recalling Ryan's usual defense mechanisms, but it had been so long since Ryan had pulled away from him that Brendon had been totally caught off guard, but now he knew, and Brendon wasn't going to let Ryan keep him out any longer.

"Ryan, I can't predict the future, but I will do everything in my power to keep us both safe. This isn't like last time, and yes - this will be dangerous, but we are prepared for this, we will be okay, but I won't be if you don't let me in. I have missed you so much these past few weeks - fuck, I even thought you might be cheating on me -"

"No - Brendon I would never," Ryan interrupted him, his eyes widening to a comical size at the accusation.

"I know, I was just being stupid and insecure, but please baby, I need you, I want my Ryan back."

"I'm here, and I'm so sorry. I'm not saying I'm not still afraid, but I won't hide it from you," Ryan promised, pressing his lips against Brendon's in a needy kiss.

Brendon melted into Ryan's lips, drinking up his taste that he had spent so long without, because they had barely done anything lately, just a few pecks on the cheek, but not this. This was what Brendon had been missing - the passion, the love, the want he could feel emanating from Ryan's body, but as much as wanted to stay here and make love to Ryan until there were no boundaries between them, he still had to go and meet Frank.

"Baby, I have to pick up Frank remember?" Brendon murmured softly, grazing Ryan's lips with his own one last time before he stood up slowly.

"Can I come with you?" Ryan asked shyly, causing Brendon to grin widely, because this was the first time that Ryan had asked to spend any time with him outside of Heaven in almost a month.

"You know that you don't need to ask."

And even though the apocalypse was looming, and Brendon was about to uproot two of his best friends from their happy lives, Brendon couldn't stop smiling, because he had his Ryan back now, and that was enough to give Brendon a renewed sense of hope that everything was going to be okay, it had to be, and not just for Brendon's sake, but for Ryan's as well.

Well this chapter wasn't supposed to happen, but as the title says, I'm not entirely sure where I am going with this plot wise. I have the main parts planned out, but I'm blanking on what I want to happen when Frank and Gerard get to Heaven at the moment.

But on the bright side, you got a cute Ryden backstory, so that's good right.

Chapter dedicated to metalmusiclove

((((ryden vibes))))

<3 starr