Wattpad: Hi! I have great books, and I'm free! Wanna join?

Me: Sure why not! *Signs up*

Later:

Me: OMFG. I LOVE THIS *Writes 94750389476984 stories and reads everything*

Wattpad: *Thinks* She's fallen into my trap....

Later:

Me: *Roleplaying* I'm addicted to Wattpad!!

Wattpad: Yay! I'm glad you like me! *Thinks* Soon she'll be mine, ALL MINE!

Later:

Me: *Roleplaying*

Wattpad: *Thinks* It's time. *Glitches*

Me: ??? *Tries to get it to work*

Wattpad: *Makes my notifications go back by A FREAKING MONTH*

Me: UGH!! I HATE YOU!!

5 seconds later:

Wattpad: *Works*

Me: Just kidding! *Continues roleplaying*

And the whole thing repeats...and repeats... -_-

Why do I tolerate you, Wattpad?!