so this is gonna be a summary of rules that i have lived with, and i want y'all to tell me at the end if my parents are a little protective or if i'm just a spoiled hoe. not looking for pity, just perspective. be honest please.

i'm not allowed to lock my bathroom door when i'm using it. nor is my brother

i was not allowed to refer to my parents as "he" or "she." i was told using pronouns was "disrespectful."

this is probably a common one, but my parents demonized any kind of romantic attraction. whenever i told my dad i merely had a conversation with a dude, he'd get extremely protective. my mom at some point told me to stop talking about any male friends. i kinda said fuck that mentally, and ever since any male i've ever spoken about my dad has asked if i like him. not in a "oooh she has a crush" teasing way, but a "you're dead if you do" kinda way

another common one, my parents always i can tell them anything. but apparently they don't wanna hear about what i wanna do as an adult.

"really? you wanna hear people bitch and moan all day"

"psychology isn't real"

or my issues with why i don't like certain people.

"you're just antisocial."

"wow you really hate everyone don't you?"

but when i bottle it up and cry in a bathroom

"why didn't you tell us?"

"don't cry, it's (insert random occasion here)"

"you're really crying over that?"

when i was eleven or twelve, i askes my mom if i could get certain social media apps. she said i could when i was thirteen. by the time i turned thirteen, i asked my mom if i could download snapchat. she still said no. i asked why, she gave the same bullshit response every parent did.

i'm currently 14. i'm at a point in my life where i'm graduating eighth grade. without social media of some sort, i fear i may lose all connections with my current friends. so i ki da downloaded Instagram without my moms permission but whatever.

to my knowledge, the majority of my friends have two or more of the following, with full permission from their parents:
- an Instagram account
- a Snapchat account
- an Amazon account

now, to clarify, i don't want social media for vanity or something, in fact i don't plan on posting many photos of myself on my current insta account, if any. i just wanna stay in touch with the people i grew up with.

and the amazon account thing

i wanted my own amazon account because i recently got a $100 amazon gift card and i wanted to use it by making my own decisions. yanno, independence. and i wanna get a pride flag without my mom knowing

previously, i've shopped on Amazon through my mom's account, mainly with her money. i wanted to use the gift card tho.

so, like most people in my position would do, i asked if i could have my own account. i told her i had the gift card, i wasn't gonna buy drugs or something, and the majority of my friends had their own account.

she said no.

i asked why.

she replied with "i'm the parent blah blah blah superiority complex" whatever.

and i came to the all too familiar feeling of my mother putting down my efforts to be my own person.

and i realized that every time this has happened, i always ended up asking myself: why not me?

all my other friends had apparently earned their parents trust enough to have social media and an amazon account.

so what am i doing wrong?

it feels like i'm doing what i should be. i do chores when i'm asked to. i don't make remarks about my dad's alcoholism. i've refrained from telling my father's scumbag friends to fuck off. i'm nice to my brother. i get decent grades. i've held back on saying shit that i really wanna say. i tell them i love them every day, even if it feels like a lie.

so what am i doing wrong?

why don't they trust me?

what have my friends done that i haven't?

don't get me wrong, i love my friends to death, but am i as good a kid as they are?

am i doing something wrong?

am i not doing enough?

so... am i just crazy or are my parents a little strict? let me know honestly