Hey!

Last Sunday on Instagram I said WATCH OUT FOR REGULAR UPDATES THIS WEEK! Look how that turned out 🙃

Ooh!! Look at this edit by Fakhrose 😍😍

PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE!! It means a lot to me❤️❤️

Happy Reading!

——-
PAKEEZAH's POV

"Baba main inkaar kar dungi. Aapke liye behtar hai, aap iss tarah ki zabardasti mere saath na karein!"

I could feel my own heart pounding inside my chest. With every word I read, it got worse.

"Tum inkaar karogi toh main tumhein ussi waqt shoot kar doonga—" my hands pushed both ends of the book together as a small gasp escaped my lips. Shoot kar dunga?

Kiske abbu aisa kar sakte hein? Koi aur mard ho toh samajh main bhi aata hai!

"Oh looks like time's up!" Daisy broke the silence and once again everyone sighed before moved on to discussing the story with each other. The first few days they tried convincing me to read more but now even they knew I wouldn't. It's not like I don't want to, it's just that I can't.

It takes a lot of strength to even get myself here every morning!

"You were too good man!" Yasmeen cheered once I managed to walk out of the room, "kaunsi novel hai? Bohot interesting hai!"

"Thanks," I smiled, looking down at the cover.

"Oh! Never mind!" She groaned as she took the novel from me, "I can't read."

"I am sure you can find this in english too," I shrugged as I opened my bag and slipped the book inside.

"I can't believe it! Mujhe laga tha tum woh typical housewife type ho. But you are so cool!" She grinned at me, making me chuckle.

"Kyun? Housewives aren't cool?" I asked, "tumhari Ammi bhi toh housewife hi hein."

"Yeah but I have always seen her sitting at home. Bas bacche aur shauhar. Like no social life, you know?" She frowned slightly, "I believe exposure in this day and age is very important for women. Nahi toh Bas ghar main dabb kar reh jaateen hein kuch toh."

"Bahar nikalne se alag hi confidence aata hai, haina?" She added, turning her head towards me, as if waiting for me to agree, "you just started working, I think you can relate?"

"You like fresh coconut water?" I asked her instead as I spotted a cart parked on the footpath.

Yasmeen blinked at me and after a long pause, she nodded.

"Bhaiya paanch ready kar do," I ordered the owner and turned to Yasmeen again, "haan. Aata hai."

I sighed, "Kuch maheeno pehle aise order karna toh door ki baat hai, Mujhe toh ghar se nikalne ki ijazat bhi nahi thi."

"Bhaiya paanch nahi che," Yasmeen ordered as I paid for them.

"Che kyun?" I frowned, "Hussain toh kaam par hein. Raat tak wait thori karenge. Aur waise bhi bade VIP nakhre hein unke. Mineral water ki jagah mineral coconut water ki demand na kar dein!"

"No, he is at home," Yasmeen frowned, "you didn't know?"

I didn't bother to check! "Nahi, woh bas dimaag se nikal gaya tha," I lied.

"Hota hai kabhi kabhi! Waise Bohot nakhre hein uske par Itna bura bhi nahi hai mera dost, itni bhi VIP demands nahi hein uski." Yasmeen chuckled, "he is such a gentleman on the sets, ek do larkiyon ko toh yun hi crush ho jata hai uspe."

Jhoot! aise sadiyal shaks pe toh bas gussa hua jaa sakta hai, crush kuch zyada ho gaya.

"Tumhein nahi hua?" I blurted out, "Crush. Hussain pe, I mean."

Yasmeen stared at me for a moment and then chuckled. "Ho jaata, par tumne usse chura liya. Aur mujhe kisi aur ki mohobbat pe apna Haq nahi jamaana."

"Tumse kisne kaha ki woh meri ya main unki mohobbat hoon?" I found myself asking Yasmeen as Hussain's words echoed in my ears.

"Mujhe tumse Mohobbat ho hi nahi sakti!" Kitni asaani se meri bachi hui umeed bhi tord di thi. Jaise koi pairo ke neeche berehmi se kisi keede ko masal deta hai!

Yasmeen frowned at me and then smiled. "Tum dono ki shadi hui hai. Shadi ke baad toh pyaar ho hi.... Nahi hota kya?"

Her eyes widened slightly, in concern. I felt the urge of letting it all out in front of her. The pain, the emptiness, the anger that I was holding on to; but before I could respond, the coconut vendor interrupted us and then the moment was gone. I didn't feel like talking to Yasmeen or sharing my grief with anyone.

No one had time to hear me out anyway.

HUSSAIN's POV

"Yeh aise thora paani daalo na pan main aur dhak do for two minutes. I am telling you! Beautiful omelette, ahaa!" Yasmeen's dad inhaled a deep breath, sucking in the steam his steamed omelette was producing. Literally all he added was onions, chilli, salt and pepper to the eggs and a little bit of oil to the frying pan and now suddenly, he was acting like he won Master Chef.

"Nice." I gave him a one-word response. Not like he had time for more anyway. He was too busy tossing two omelettes simultaneously.

"Baba bhook lagi hai!" Yasmeen's sister complained from the dining area and I rolled my eyes. Itni bhook lagi hai toh hum baith jaayein kya stove pe?

Khud hi bana le aa kar! Ek toh jiske chakkar main ghar ruka tha, woh toh dikhi nahi subha se! iske naakhre alag hein!

"Api aa gayeen!" She yelled again from outside before Yasmeen entered the kitchen.

"Look what Pakeezah got for you guys!" Yasmeen announced, entering the kitchen with three green coconuts in her hands. She paused instantly, looked at her father and then gave me an apologetic look.

"Baba, what are you doing? Let me do this! You should go get ready for shopping," She passed the coconuts to me and tried taking the spatula from her father but he refused to let go.

"No no no, I am going to cook today!" He shook his head, "only men allowed in the kitchen today!"

"Oh no please!" Yasmeen whined, "last time you added coriander powder instead pepper. You can't do this alone, not here!"

"I am not alone!" He insisted, "Hussan will help me!"

"Uh, Hussain," I corrected him immediately.

He rolled his eyes at me, "Haan haan, Hussan Hussain ek hi baat hai."

Log autograph ke peeche pagal hote hein, inhein naam se bhi matlab nahi hai.

"Tum yaha khade hi kyun ho?" Yasmeen asked me, "jao bahar jao, shayad Pakeezah tumhein bula rahi hai."

Woh mujhe? Aaj kya ho gaya?

"Woh mujhe bula rahi hai? Kahan hai woh subha se?" I dropped everything instantly and ran upstairs. What if Yasmeen talked to her? What if after so many days, Pakeezah is finally ready to talk?

"You called m—Woah!" I gasped, widening my eyes.

Pakeezah squealed, instantly let go off her dress's hemline. As the fabric cascaded down her legs again, I turned around and threw myself out of the room.

"There are two locks on this door. They are there for a reason!" I reminded her, embarrassed.

"You should knock before you enter a room. Basic manners!" She huffed in response, "and I am fully dressed. You didn't need to freak out."

I turned around to look at her again, but not directly in her eyes. Aaj kal toh gussa bhara rehta hai unmein.

"Tumne bulaya tha. Mujhe kya pata tha Mujhe upar bula kar tum khud yun—Never mind," I sighed, agitated, "what happened?"

"Aapse kisne kaha? Maine aapko nahi bulaya," Pakeezah frowned at me as she grabbed her comb from the my dressing table. Honestly, all I could see there now was her stuff. This was like Houston all over again. Her things were everywhere. Again.

"Yasmeen ne kaha—"

"Usne galat suna hoga. Mere paas apna din kharab karne ke alawa aur bhi kaam hein," she rolled her eyes, staring at me directly through the mirror.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow at her as I let go of the door and crossed my arms in front of my chest, "mere yahan hone se tumhara din kharab ho jayega?"

"Ho Gaya hai, in fact," she pointed out and then pulled her hair in a messy bun, "main Ab sona chahti hoon. I am tired."

Samajhti kya hai khud ko?

"No wonder," I scoffed, "jis insaan ki shakal itni khaufnaak ho, uska din toh aayina dekhte hi kharab ho jata hoga!"

Pakeezah was approaching the bed when she stopped and looked at me, "mera aapse behes karne ka bilkul dil nahi hai. Please jaate jaate lights off kar dena."

Naukar hoon kya? In that moment I wanted to switch on every single light of this house, open every single window, blast music on high volume. Just to irritate her.

But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"Mama kehteen hein khali pait sone se tabiyat kharab ho jati hai. Kuch kha lo pehle," I found myself mumbling, grumpily. A voice inside my head screamed at me, called me an idiot for giving up so easily.

She must think I am a loser!

"Fine," Pakeezah sighed, cutting through my chain of thoughts, and stomped out of the room, irritated.

Wah! Mama ka naam lene se yeh itni jaldi baat maan jayegi, pata nahi tha! I heaved a loud sigh and followed her downstairs.

"Dekho, even your housemates are married. Itne married couples dekh kar tumhaara apna dil nahi karta shadi karne ka?" Yasmeen's father asked her and suddenly everyone's heads turned in my direction. Pakeezah slightly tilted her head to look at me but quickly looked away.

"Tum batao, beta," uncle looked at Pakeezah as a smile replaced his concern, "Isn't marriage a beautiful bond that she is missing out on?"

Wow, someone loves being married a little too m—

"Nahi!" Pakeezah blurted out and I swear I heard Yasmeen's mother gasp.

I gulped. You didn't have to be this honest.

"No, I mean—" Pakeezah paused, searching for words, "It is beautiful but only when two people really want to make it work. Zabardasti karne se toh bas do zindagiyaan barbaad hoti hein. Aise rishton main Khushi nahi, bas dard chupa hota hai. Failed or forced marriage can't make anyone happy."

Shayad isiliye hum bhi kabhi khush nahi reh sakte!

Pakeezah reached out and placed her hand on Yasmeen's shoulder, "it is okay to wait. Jab sahi waqt hoga, ho jayegi shadi bhi."

"Thank you!" Yasmeen mouthed at Pakeezah and then glared at me. It was the look she gave everyone right before a long lecture.

I swear, If looks could kill, i would be dead meat right now!

Yasmeen got up from the chair and approached me, "Chalo, everyone eat quickly. We have a lot of shopping to do."

Wedding Shopping? Please, I could use some extra hours of sleep.

"No," I shook my head, "We are tired. I guess we will stay at ho—"

"I will go get changed," Pakeezah announced instead and ran back upstairs again.

What happened to feeling tired?

"At first I had a doubt something was wrong," Yasmeen stopped next to me, "but now I am sure! What have you done, Hussain?"

I stepped back when she charged at me like mama would with her chappal when I was young. Except there were no chappals in her hand right now!

"She wants to go for shopping, I don't. Big deal?" I rolled my eyes instead, keeping calm and carefully turned around before basically running away to protect myself from her wrath.

Damn, she is scary!

Pakeezah had her clothes all laid out already. Purple and off white. Not something I would approve off but who am I to have a say?

She brushed the comb through her hair before pulling them into a loose braid this time. I knew she could see me from the mirror but she was moving around like she couldn't. Usually as much as she tries to hide it, she becomes noticeably conscious when I am around.

Once her hair were nicely done, Pakeezah picked up her clothes from the bed and I wondered if that was my cue to leave the room. I was finally beginning to wonder if she even saw me.

"Ahem," I cleaned my throat just in case.

Pakeezah looked at me and sighed. "Here. You have the room all to yourself," she shrugged and moved away from the bed, "main bahar wale washroom main change kar lungi."

I didn't even say anything this time!

"Yeah! Do that. Jis kisi ne bhi abhi tak tumhaara behavior notice nahi kiya hai, woh bhi karne lagega!" I blurted out, unintentionally.

"What do you mean? Mujhme notice karne wala hai hi kya? I am sure no one cares," Pakeezah stopped and looked at me. I reminded myself to stay calm. But just reminded.

"Just like you!" She added.

"What the hell is your problem?" I snapped, feeling agitated. It's like she keeps pushing all the wrong buttons!

"Nothing!" She shrugged again, "you wanted me to leave you alone and I am doing that."

A faint, taunting, smile appeared on her lips. She was trying to act innocent and make me feel guilty about what I did. But I already apologized; what else can I do?

"I apologized!" I reminded her, "will you stop giving me that attitude? It's not cool anymore!"

"What attitude?" She snapped, "baat karu toh problem, nahi karu toh attitude? What is your problem? Aap kabhi kisi bhi halat main khush ho sakte hein kya? You know what? Mujhe aapse yeh discussion bhi nahi karni!"

My eyes widened at the realisation of how loud a woman can be when Pakeezah screamed in my face and pushed past me.

"Haan toh mat karo!" I snapped back, as I managed to get a hold of her arm. She winced and I instantly loosened my grip.

Stay calm Hussain! I exhaled a loud breath and closed my eyes for a moment.

"Listen, you wanted to sleep. Stay at home, I won't disturb you," I told her as calmly as I possibly could.

"Ab neend urd gayi hai!" She yanked her arm away and stepped back, "please leave me alone."

Wow! So much for being nice!

SHEHRYAAR's POV

"Wow! So you are telling me you are scared of her?" I tried not to laugh while I sat here, on the garden chair, with my phone tucked between my shoulder and ear.

"I am not scared of Pakeezah," Hussain groaned. I could tell he was pacing up and down his room right now.

"But you just said she intimidates you?" I reminded him of the word he had used just thirty seconds ago.

"Not in that sense," he groaned again, "she just has an answer for everything I say now. She snaps at me all the time even when it's not my fault. I swear I could be minding my own business and she would find a reason to yell at me!"

"So you are threatened by her?" I asked him again.

"Shehryaar, mere bhai! Don't test my patience right now!" He warned me.

I chuckled again, "okay leave it. Tell me why this change of heart all of a sudden?"

"There is no change of heart!" He snapped, "it's just that—"

After a long pause, he continued, "let's just say she told me something. A secret. Okay? And then she suddenly changed."

He gasped in the end, like he couldn't believe how quickly people could 'change' at times.

"People change Hussain," I sighed, "when you don't treat them the way they deserve to be treated, they change."

My vision blurred as I batted my eyelid and took a deep breath to calm my aching throat. I rested my hand on the brown cardboard box that I had been trying to get rid off for the last two days. Inside it were memories. The ones I can never cherish in peace because I was never there mentally anyway. There were photos of trips where I was busy on phone calls, small gifts from special dates where I had turned up late as usual and cute handwritten letters and cards that I didn't have time to respond to.

"I don't know man, I really tried talking. But whatever!" Hussain spoke, bringing me back to the present, "I am so done. I am so done! And I keep telling myself that but Damn it! She is so annoying!"

I chuckled out of amusement as he yelled in frustration. Change of heart!

"Come on, you get to treat her like trash and she doesn't?" I asked him.

"I didn't do anything to deserve thi—"

"And she did?" I asked before he could defend himself.

"Like I said, whatever! I am done," He snapped. I could mentally imagine him rolling his eyes at me.

"Okay, whatever," I shrugged, "but what if you did do something to deserve this?"

He let out a groan, ignoring me, "we are not talking about me anymore. How are you?"

Great question! How am I doing?

"Good," I sighed, "I guess."

I looked down at the two very important things that were kept beside me. A box and an envelope.

"Mama gave me an envelope," I told him, "there is a photo in it."

"Shit! She dropped the bomb already?" Hussain gasped and then quickly cleared his throat, "no I mean, are you ready for this."

I inhaled a sharp breath. That's the question I have been asking myself. Am I ?

"I don't think so," I told him truthfully, "I have been trying to burn Hafsa's belongings. I can't even do that so, how can I think about marrying someone else?"

"They are two very different things, Shehryaar. There is an envelope that holds your possible future and a box that holds your past. They are memories, and you can't just burn them," Hussain said, "they are almost like a part of you."

"A part that doesn't belong to me anymore," I reminded him.

"No," hussain disagreed, "it does belong to you. They are your memories and no one can steal them from you. You might not be her present or future, but you were her past. She sort of did make you the person you are today and you can't just get rid of all her hard work."

"Toh kya karu main inn yaadon ka?" I asked him, irritated, "uske ghar de aau? Pagal hoon kya main? Photos hein, donate bhi nahi kar sakta!"

I took a deep breath to calm down. "Yaar, I know I told mama I'll try moving on. But I can't think about marrying anyone else but her right now. I just can't. I told mama but she still gave me this photo."

"Did you open it? Kaisi lagi?" Hussain asked, curiously.

I rolled my eyes, "What? I am telling you about Hafsa and you—" I wanted to scream but my throat gave up. My voice cracked so I paused again. "Nahi, I didn't open the envelope. Himmat hi nahi ho rahi. Darr sa lag raha hai."

Hussain sighed on the other end. No one spoke for a minute or two and I found myself zoning. Above me, I could see birds flying in the evening sky. They were so high up in the sky but I could still hear their faint chirping. The trees were beginning to lose their leaves. It was starting to get colder than a usual summer evening. How long have I been stuck in this state for? How many weeks exactly since she left me? months? When was the last time I actually paid attention to my surroundings?

"To be honest," Hussain's voice snapped me out of my zone, "you never really imagined marrying Hafsa."

"What?" I gasped in my defense as a chill ran down my spine, "of course I did!"

"No," Hussain disagreed with me again, "she wanted to marry you. You never committed. You never dreamt of it."

His cold harsh words, pierced through my ears. "You just knew there was someone to fall back on to and now that someone is gone."

How blunt can someone be?

"What rubbish!" I snapped at him, my jaw clenched and muscles tensed, "I loved her okay? I wanted to marry her!"

"You loved her, I know. But she wanted to marry you. You just knew you had a plan. And now you don't. You are angry at yourself because you didn't execute your safe marriage plan in time and now you don't know what to expect from future!" He continued to speak, leaving me in turmoil.

No, I really did want to marry her!

"Just admit it shehry! Even you know it," Hussain added, "you never had time for her. She was just someone nice who cared about you, and you saw a future with her. Not a present. Believe me, she is not here right now and you only care about that because that means she won't be here tomorrow. It's not like you miss—"

"You know what? Screw you!" I screamed, cutting him off, and disconnected the call. Last thing I needed was confrontation laced in his accusing tone.

He didn't even know what he was saying. I know I loved her and that's all that matters!

I ran a hand through my hair and wiped the sweat beads that were beginning to form on my forehead. Pulling out a lighter from my pocket, I threw the box on the pavement and picked up a photo from inside it. A lone tear escaped my eye as I stared at the photo for one last time before setting fire to it. It burned to ashes in front of me while I tried to muster up the courage to drop it in the cardboard box.

There is no turning back! A voice in my head reminded me but, I knew I had to get rid of her memories if I wanted to stop loving her. Inhaling a sharp breath, I let go of the burning photo and watched it as it fell on the piles of memories. Soon more papers caught fire and I patiently watched a potentially beautiful future turning into ashes.  

I sat there for a while; for hours I think, before I finally made peace with my inner self. It was over for good! Picking up the white envelope, I headed inside the house and went straight to my room.

The plain walls, empty shelves and an almost empty cupboard greeted me. With shirts donated, books packed away and photos burnt, I was left with an empty canvas and after a fresh coat of paint, I could design it all over again!

Maybe.

I looked down at the white envelope and wondered if I was ready to open it but just then my phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was a text from Hussain. "Sorry! I didn't mean to be harsh. You don't have to move on right now. But try. Please? What if things work out?"

Or maybe not?

An unsettling feeling took over me. I felt suffocated. What was I thinking? How can burning a couple of photos erase all the memories? Was it even worth it? I am not ready to move on!

I opened my top drawer and shoved the envelope at the very back of it. I can't do this!

~*~

Raatein dengi bata
Neendo me teri hi baat hain
Bhoolun kaise tujhe
Tu toh khayalo me saath hai...

~*~

Love Always!