Heyyy!!

Here is some cute stuff for you guys 😛😌😉

And some not so cute stuff. FYI, I think I like Fahad.

And and. I am still not sure if this chapter came too early😂 there should have been another awkward chapter before this one. But they need to move on because I can't wait for this book to end already. It's ACTUALLY 2020 NOW! Whatttt

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PAKEEZAH's POV

I found a comfortable spot, just under the tree as I sat down, watching Hussain swim. It wasn't a typical sunny day but he chose to get the swimming pool and the outdoor furniture cleaned while I prepared a picnic basket. We made sandwiches along with fresh juice and left our cellphones inside. It's not like I ever got distracted by it but apparently Hussain wanted to avoid phone calls today.

Opening up the basket, I pulled out a new book Hussain got for me. Apparently he saw someone reading it at the shoot and thought I would like it.

"Pata nahi kaisi kaisi romantic novels padhti hein ladkiyaan aaj kal," he had commented while giving me the book and I had laughed at how he had tried so hard to sound and act normal. It was just a book for him but for me it was his first meaningful present.

Midnight Sun. I smiled as I ran my fingers along the front cover. It was black background with blue blobs all over it. The title was written beautifully in a reflective rose gold colour. Small rose gold hearts were covering the entire page. It was such a pretty book!

"Reading?" I looked up upon hearing Hussain's voice and placed a bookmark on the sixth page.

"Yeah, chapter two," I told him as he swam towards the edge and leaned against the tiled boarder, "she just talked about her health and her dream... about her mom."

I frowned at the book. Katie lost her mother at the age of six and cannot go out in the sun because of her Sickness. It might just be a sad and pathetic story. Like mine.

"Read it to me," Hussain suggested.

Hussain kept his hands on the pavement and jumped up. I almost gawked when he hopped out of the pool, letting all the water drip. He flexed his muscles and stretched his arms above his head as he approached me. He shook his head, sending water droplets in all directions and I suppressed a gasp when some of them landed on my face. When he bent down to pick up his towel, I looked away instantly and shifted uncomfortably.

"Come on, you can read to so many people and not me? How's that fair?" He asked me.

Once Hussain sat down on his used towel, I took a deep breath, still trying to calm my heart down. He sat there, staring at me like a curious little boy as I opened the book again, only to realize it was where Katie was fantasizing about her neighbor, Charlie.

"This is where I left, okay?" I explained and gulped, as I lifted the book to block Hussain's gaze, "when he dragged our trash can out on the street after a windy night, he didn't know I was—"

"Not like this!" Hussain interrupted, "with conviction. Thora tone change kar ke. Like you are actually this girl, remember how we practiced?"

I nodded hesitantly. I was going to continue when Hussain pulled the book down, setting it on my lap, "isn't it uncomfortable holding it like that?"

He scooted closer to me to look at the page. Three lines appeared on his forehead and then his lips twitched upwards into a smirk. He looked at me and then pointed at the book, gesturing me to continue.

"No, I can hold the book however I like," I tried not to scowl at him and cleared my throat. "It's not like I can just walk out my door one morning and casually bump into him on the street because then I'd fry to death!"

Not you Katie, I'll fry to death if Hussain continued to stare at me like this.

"Oh! Sucks how she is not even exaggerating here!" Hussain commented, chuckling, as he ran his fingers through his wet hair. They sat perfectly, away from his face, exposing his chiseled jawline which was covered in a carefully trimmed beard.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't fantasize about one day making a grand gesture though," I continued, "Like I don't know, bang on the window when I see him. Wave him into the house. Invite him upstairs. Run my fingers through his gorgeous hair. Kiss–"

I gasped, looking up at Hussain and he threw his head back as he burst out laughing.

"You knew it was coming! Main nahi padh rahi!" I scowled at him, shoving the book against his chest, "kaisi kaisi cheezein likhi hein issme!"

"Kaisi kaisi cheezein likkhi hein?" He asked mocking me as he raised his hand to place it on the book which I was still holding firmly against his chest.

"Bohot—" I paused, when his hand touched mine. I looked at his chest when he didn't remove his hand from top of mine.

"Besharmo wali baatein," I pointed out, "I am not reading."

"Besharam?" Hussain laughed, repeating the word, "she is talking about a kiss. That's an expression of love and love is so pure. Then how is it besharam?"

He leaned closer and smiled, "I think it's beautiful when it's with the right person."

"Oh please!" I huffed, pulling my hand away, "actors toh screen par bada kuch kar lete hein. Nakli shadi, romance, kiss aur sab kuch. Right person ke liye kuch chorte bhi hein?"

"Now that's unfair," Hussain frowned at me, "they may do it for the scene but the intentions are never the same. It's not like they really mean things like 'I love you' when they say it onscreen or actually want to kiss the person they have to for the scene. It's as clean as any other job."

He looked ahead of him and then down at the book before sighing. He tossed the book in the small space between us and pulled out the juice from the basket.

I watched him silently until I couldn't stop myself. "Have you ever... matlab kisi actress ko ya kisi aur larki ko..."

"Kiss?" Hussain asked before I could complete, "Come on, You can say it. There is no one here. Koi nahi kahega dekho Pakeezah kitni besharmo wali baatein karti hai!"

"Hussain!" I winced, punching his shoulder and he laughed again, throwing his head back.

Once he stopped laughing, he looked at me and an annoying smirk appeared on his lips, "it depends. Tum kya sunna chahti ho? Will you be jealous if I said yes?"

My eyes widened at his words and Hussain laughed again. He paused and slowly raised his hand towards my face. His fingers brushed against my skin when he wrapped a loose strand of hair around his finger and tucked it behind my ear.

"I'll tell you after you answer my questions," he spoke very gently, "I don't have many, don't worry."

"What questions?" I managed chock out, ignoring my cheek that was burning under his touch.

My eyes widened again when Hussain suddenly turned around to lie down, placing his head on my lap. He grinned at me while I stared at him, dumbfounded. Now even my legs were burning. I was going to fry up before Katie even gets to meet Charlie!

"Question number one," Hussain spoke, "is it okay if I lie down like this ?"

I gulped, staring at him and he laughed. "You can tell me if it's not and I'll move."

"No.. it's okay," I mumbled, still trying to catch my breath.

"Good," he smiled at me, "now question number two. What's your favorite colour?"

"Colour?" I frowned, "Kaisa sawal hai? Why are you—"

"Uh huh!" Hussain shook his head, "only I get to ask the questions."

I sighed and gave it a good thought. "White. I guess."

Despite of everything that happened, I couldn't ignore the fact that I waited all my life for a white horse and Prince Charming. I have loved white for that one reason.

"Nice! Most people like black because it's easy to dress up in. It even makes you look slim," Hussain commented, "I love black."

"Black bada manhoos colour hai. Andhere jaisa," I made a face at Hussain, "White is like hope."

Hussain's hair flew gently with the air and scattered on his forehead, covering his eyes. Before he could brush them away, I threaded my fingers through his hair, pushing them away from his eyes. There was a very quickly shift in his expression like my gesture had taken him by surprise. A part of me wanted to pull away out of embarrassment but then I liked how soft and cold his hair felt against my fingertips.

"Cake or icecream?" He questioned as I continued playing with his hair.

"Kulfi!" I smiled.

"Really?" His eyes lit up instantly, making me chuckle, "Mango or pistachio?"

I winced, unable to pick, "both!"

"Necklace or earrings?"

"Earrings. Duh!"

"Hmm nice!" Hussain nodded, "Heels or flats?"

"Both."

"Any childhood best friends?"

I paused.

I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head. "Jiske ammi abbu na ho. Uska toh bas ek hi best friend hota hai."

I looked up at the sky and scowled, "Par meri kabhi unse bani nahi. Main maangti kuch thi aur ho kuch aur jaata tha. Ab toh dil hi nahi karta. Meri kaunsa koi sunta hai."

"Sirf maange ke liye yaad karogi toh waise bhi kuch nahi milega," Hussain sighed and I looked down at him, "kabhi kabhi bas khushiyan baant lena bhi accha hota hai."

"Mere hisse main khushiyaan aayi hi kab?" I asked as I looked away, feeling gloomy all of a sudden, "siwaye Taya ki maar ke mujhe toh kuch bhi nahi mila. Woh kisike saath nahi baant sakti thi main."

"Aazmaish ke din the Pakhi, guzar gaye," Hussain spoke. He held my left hand between both his hands and squeezed it gently, "let's move on? Let's create a world where there is no place for those memories or hate or such people, hmm?"

"It's easier said than done, Hussain," I told him, irritated, and pulled my hand away. He frowned at me when I slid away and got up to leave.

"Kahan jaa rahi ho?" He called out.

"Not answering anymore questions," I told him without looking at him and wrapped my arms around myself as I walked towards the house. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I felt a desperate need to stand under a shower and let them wash away.

"Okay don't answer but please don't spoil the mood yaar! Please stay!" Hussain insisted from behind me. I could hear footsteps following me but I didn't stop to look at him. "Let's order something to eat and watch a movie?"

"Leave me alone," I mumbled to myself as tears threatened to roll down my cheeks any moment. All my life, I will never stop wondering why did, out of all the people, I had to go through all that? What was my fault?

"Pakhi listen to me!" Hussain yelled behind me. Suddenly I felt a tug on my arm and I was forced to turn around.

"Talk to me! Don't walk away like this!" Hussain snapped, narrowing his eyes at me, and I flinched.

He stared at my face for a moment, angry, and then his expressions softened before he pulled me against his chest without saying anything. I felt his arms firmly wrapping around my shoulders into a tight hug as he rested his chin on the crown of my head. A sob escaped my lips when I closed my eyes.

"Shhh, it's okay," he whispered after a while, his one hand moving up and down my back. Firm but gentle.

"It's not okay." I disagreed, shaking my head, "why me, Hussain? Why me?"

Hussain wriggled, tightening his grip around me but he didn't utter a single word in response to my question. Instead, he rested his hand at the back of my head, keeping me as close as possible. Strangely, this hug was more comforting than any words would have ever been or will ever be.

I was safe in his embrace.

SHEHRYAAR's POV

"Mr. Shehryaar Asif, I'd like to book an appointment with you So I can sit and talk with my friend without any interruption. How about your gross black coffee? Reply Y for yes and N for yes as well because I will show up no matter where you are!"

I locked my phone's screen after reading yet another message from Sanam and focused on what was happening in front of me. One of my colleagues was presenting the half yearly finance report and I kept zoning out because of Sanam's messages.

My phone buzzed again. "Are you still tired? What's up with the silent treatment?"

I rolled my eyes at the text. Tired isn't even the word. Confused might be one but 'feeling used' is the main one. She probably wants to talk to me to help her pick another date spot or her outfit. Yesterday, I didn't even know this girl, now suddenly I am helping her with her dates? No thanks.

"Are you mad at me?" I huffed as more texts flooded my inbox, causing my phone to buzz nonstop.

"Is it important?" Dad asked me, interrupting the presentation, "let's take a five minutes break."

"No, it's okay. I'll just switch this off," I insisted.

"No, just take it," he refused and glared at me for a moment before he got up from his seat, "five minutes. Leave your phone at your desks when you come back."

He walked out, followed by everyone else and I groaned, slamming my fist against the wooden table.  Another text from Sanam caused my phone to vibrate and I unlocked my phone.

"Busy? Reply toh karo yaar!"

Instead of replying, I called Sanam's number and she picked up on the first bell, like she knew I was going to call any moment.

"Aah finally!" She sighed on the other side, "Mujhe laga pata nahi kya ho gaya hai, Shehryaar ne bhav dena band kar diya hai!"

"Tumhaari problem kya hai?" I snapped instead, "I am at work. Pagal ho gayi ho kya? Messages pe messages. Aur koi kaam nahi hai tumhein?"

"Shehryaar?" Sanam whispered my name in a very careful tone, pulling me out of my zone.

I closed my eyes as guilt washed over me but it wasn't enough to stop me. "Naukar nahi hoon tumhaara. You can't keep disturbing me like this for little things!"

Usse baar baar call karo jiske saath bahar jaati ho. Problems main Shehryaar, nahi toh–

"Disturb?" Sanam chuckled, "I am sorry. I didn't know I was disturbing you."

Her emphasis on the word made me groan. Shit! "I didn't mean to—" I tried apologizing but she interrupted me.

"I only wanted to ask if you were feeling okay, Shehryaar," she spoke in a whisper. Something twisted inside me hearing the way she said my name. "You sounded pretty upset the other night and we haven't been in touch since. I am so sorry. I didn't know I was disturbing you."

"I am sorr—"

"Don't be, you know you don't mean it," she added and hung up before I couldn't say anything in my defense.

We are fighting because of that Fahad now. I can't believe I am letting that man win when I don't even know if he deserves to! Frustrated, I threw my phone across the table and it ended up hitting a glass, causing the water to spill all over it.

"Sir, we can resume our meeting as soon as you are ready," Gul spoke as she came inside the conference room, "I can call everyone inside whenever you are ready. Do you want coffee?"

I looked up at her and cleared my throat. "I need your help. Find me another detective. I need to find some information about someone."

"Someone? Who is it this time?" She frowned at me, "I don't think you should—"

"I need someone who can get their full history, follow every movement and record every conversation," I continued, cutting her off, and picked up a pen. I restlessly tapped it on the table while Gul stared at me, without uttering a single word.

"I am sorry but this is a very creepy thing to do," she pointed out after a while and lowered her eyes instantly when I turned to look at her, "I don't think you should—"

"Who is the boss here?" I asked her, ignoring her statement, "I am pretty sure I am paying you to work for me. So you do as I say."

"I am sorry but I can't help you. You can fire me if you like but I can't do this," she sighed, shaking her head and stepped back.

"Please stop it, sir. Stop before you land yourself in a bigger problem," Gull spoke before walking out of the room. I sat there, staring at the glass door, as many different emotions stirred up inside me.

I felt suffocated, confused, lost and broken; all at once. It was hurting and I couldn't figure out why.

SANAM's POV

I glanced it my phone as a familiar number flashed on it and then looked at the wall clock. It was 5pm and I was still not ready. Suddenly, I didn't feel like going out.

Sighing, I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Thank God you're alive!" Fahad sighed on the other end and then chuckled, "I thought you forgot."

No I didn't but now I don't feel like it either. "Yeah, I was sleeping. I don't feel good," I lied, "is it okay if you meet next weekend? I am really sick."

"Oh! What happened? Did you take your medicines? Did someone take you to the doctor's?" Fahad asked, and the concern in his tone made me feel guilty.

"It's okay, Fahad, calm down! I just feel sick. I'll take some meds and sleep. I'll feel better by tomorrow. Don't worry," I lied as I looked down at my fingers and crossed them. I am such a terrible person!

"Please turn off the lights and take a nap. I'll call you later, yeah?" Fahad spoke softly, almost as if I was a baby.

Once he hung up, I felt like I had to follow his instructions. So I switched off the lights and drew the curtains before plopping down on the bed. Next to me was the dress that I was going to wear tonight until Shehryaar ruined my mood.

That man is something else. One moment he can get mad at my mother for not treating me nicely and the moment he can treat me like trash. One moment he could make me feel so special and then suddenly yell at me like I am no one. Now I don't even know if we are friends or ever were. Friends don't do this to each other, right?

It's funny how we give so much importance to someone who treats us like their doormat in return.

~~~

"Sanam? Api utho!"

My eyes sprung open when someone shook my shoulder. Next moment, the blanket was ripped away from my face and my poor eyes were exposed to the harsh light.

"What is your problem?" I groaned, covering my face with my palms, letting my eyes adjust to the light.

"You are sleeping and he is here to see you!" Shifa yelled at me in a hushed tone, "sharam kar lo thori!"

"Kaun?" I frowned as I removed my hands.

"He came half an hour ago. Baba mama interview le rahe hein uska. Bechara!" She sighed, "get up now!"

"Kaun aaya hai?" I asked again as I sat up straight and picked up my phone to look at the time.

"He even called you," she added as she rushed to my cupboard.

"Who? Shehryaar?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at my phone's screen to focus on the time.

"What? Why would he?" She paused to look at me and then pulled out a pink kameez, "Yeh lo, mama said freshen up and then come."

"Why? Is it the prime minister?" I asked, disinterested, and she threw the shirt on my face. I gathered it in a ball and threw it on the other side of the bed. "First tell me who is it. Or tell him I am asleep."

"Fahad!" Shifa looked at me and giggled, "Why did you have to tell him you were sick? Poor guy is sitting in the living room right now."

"Right now?" I widened my eyes at her and then facepalmed myself, feeling guilty. I lied to him! I am going to go to hell one day for this.

Quickly getting up from the bed, I fixed my T-shirt first and then tied my hair in a lose bun. "Let's go."

"But change—" Shifa tried to stop me but I ignored her and walked out of the room. As I carefully walked downstairs, one step at a time, with everyone's eyes fixated on me, Shifa followed me. She kept murmuring requests in my ears, begging me to go upstairs and change but, I chose not to listen to her.

Baba smiled at me when I looked at him but Ammi didn't look too impressed. She shook her head in disappointment and I gave her a toothy smile.

Fahad stood up as I approached them.

"Tum yahan?" I asked him as soon as I reached the sitting area. A small frown replaced his smile first and then he chuckled, "wow. Uhm yeah I came to see you. But I can leave if —"

"Oh no, beta!" Baba interrupted, hesitantly, "she didn't mean it in that way."

I glanced at baba and then at Fahad and bit my lips, shaking my head, "I just woke up. I am sorry. I guess I was just a little surprised."

And disappointed. Someone else could have bothered to visit. He didn't even send an apology text.

"In a good way?" Fahad asked me, raising an eyebrow, and I gulped before nodding at him.

He shook his head, chuckling, "anyway. I got some soup for you. I figured it might help."

He picked up an insulated bag from the coffee table and held it out in front of me. I widened my eyes as I accepted the bag. "Why did you bother? I could have asked our cook. You really didn't have to."

"It's okay. Pyaar se laya hai, rakh lo," ammi spoke beside us. She stepped forward and rested her hand on my back, signaling me to accept it.

I am definitely going to hell.

"Thanks," I nodded at Fahad and placed the bag back on the table. He stepped back and sat down as I took my seat.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked me and then looked at others before shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Poor guy !

"Better," I told him, looking down at my hands. I couldn't lie and look into his eyes at the same time.

"Good," he said before a long awkward pause followed. I bet everyone secretly glanced at each other but no one knew what to say. Our parents still haven't met formally and I haven't discussed this arrangement with my parents yet, so everyone's behaviour made sense. They didn't know how to act around a man who could potentially be a part of this family in future but also possibly mean nothing to them.

"Uhm, why don't you guys sit in the garden?" Baba awkwardly suggested after a while and I mentally thanked him for that.

"Sanam beta, le jao Fahad ko," baba added as he stood up, "I'll send some refreshments."

"No uncle, that won't be necessary," Fahad interjected and stood up, "I just came to check up on Sanam. I should get going."

"How's that possible?" Baba frowned, "you should stay for dinner."

"Yeah man! Dad's right," Zahir bhai insisted, making me groan inwardly.

They are probably saying it out of formality but incase Fahad says yes, it will be a long and awkward dinner.

"No, maybe next time," Fahad shook his head, refusing again, and then took a step back. He looked down at his watch and smiled at me, "I should get going."

"I can walk you to the car," I frowned to myself as I offered absentmindedly and he shrugged at me. Baba stepped aside, letting me walk past him.

Fahad shoved his hands in his pockets as soon as we stepped out of the house and heaved a loud sigh. "That was scary!" He exclaimed in a hushed tone, "I thought I was going to cry."

An unexpected laugh escaped my lips when he whined about how Zahir bhai was watching his every move and how baba was interrogating him.

"I thought they already knew everything about me. You don't talk to them much, do you? It felt like an interview and I bet I failed!" Fahad complained, making a face.

"Nah, I am sure you did just fine. I am sure they like you." I told him, "they would have liked you more if you had stayed for dinner."

Fahad nodded, looking at his car, and then stopped to look at me. "I would have but..."

"But?" I frowned.

"But you never asked me," he shrugged again as deep lines appeared on his forehead. I blinked, wondering if he was still waiting for an invite, but before I could say anything, he laughed.

"Don't worry! I was just kidding," he shook his head, "but next time, you better ask me to stay. Okay?"

"Sure," I nodded reluctantly and he gave me a wide smile. His eyes twinkled as I forced a smile.

Fahad drove off, disappearing down the street within seconds, and I felt like a giant rock had been placed on my chest. It was weighing me down. I felt claustrophobic.

I felt guilty.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR 🥳😍🥰

Don't waste your time on resolutions this year. We all know they don't work. So, Spend your first day doing what makes you the happiest. I'll be mostly reading or writing or going to the beach with family. But I might just order pizza and watch Netflix all day.

Update before I post the chapter: I did end up ordering pizza and they took over 1 hour to deliver 🙄

Wishing you a blessed year/ decade ahead 😍

Love Always