Lan Wangji was talking with Lady Cangse and elder Wei when Wu Ming and Wei Wuxian came back. A small smile bloomed on Wei Wuxian's face seeing Lan Zhan. He didn't realise how much he missed the latter until he saw him again.

Lan Zhan looked at him, and smiled back. It wasn't really a smile, but the corner of his lips were lifted up. "Wei Ying." Wei Wuxian walked to him, and was about tell him about the back hills, when a shrill gasp, followed by a shrill voice, interrupted him before he even started.

"Xian-Gege!"

For a second, Wei Wuxian thought his ears were ringing. But when he saw Lan Wangji turning his gaze slightly towards his right, Wei Ying was obliged to look back as well. And his eyes went wide when he saw who it was.

It was Wen Yuan, his little companion for the one and half years that he had spent with the remnants of the Wen, holding several sugar candies in his hands.

"Fuck..." Wei Wuxian cursed under his breath. "Lan Zhan, am i hallucinating, or are you also seeing A-Yuan?" He said slow, but enough for Lan Wangji to hear.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan looked at Wei Wuxian in shock, "A-Yuan is here. He has been ─"

Before he could complete, Wei Wuxian fell on his knees to pick up the toddler who came running to him. Wei Ying instantly grasped A-Yuan tightly, as the smaller one clutched his tiny hands over his shoulders.

It felt like centuries of hugging to him, while it has been just a few seconds to the others. Wei Wuxian loosened his grasp on A-Yuan, only so that he could look at Lan Wangji. "Lan Zhan... How did he... I thought he... The wens... He is still alive?"

Lan Wangji stared at him in partial horror. "Wei Ying, he has been with us ever since i picked you up from the burial grounds the night of the siege."

"Even ... cloud recesses?" Wei Wuxian spoke incomplete words, shook that A-Yuan had been beside him this long, and he was too busy mourning to even notice.

"Yes... A-Yuan slept on the same bed as we did."

"Oh."

Wei Wuxian looked at A-Yuan who was suckling on the sugar candies he had in his hand. He smiled brightly, showing his big bright white teeth, "Xian-Gege! Xian-Gege! Look, that Ayi have me do many candies! Do you want some? A-Yuan will share with Xian-Gege!"

Wei Wuxian didn't cry. He didn't cry because he was happy. He still has his A-Yuan. He smiled through the lump in his throat, he smiled. "No, it's fine, A-Yuan. You can have them all." But then he also added, "Just don't eat all of it at once or you will get an upset tummy, hm?"

A-Yuan nodded. He hugged his Xian gege again. "I had missed you Xian-Gege."

"I missed you too." He really did miss him. Wei Wuxian softly placed a kiss on top of A-Yuan's head, and strokes his hair back.

"Gege, when are we going back home?" A-Yuan asked.

"Hm?"

"Where are A-Yuan's grandma and Qing-Ayi and Ning Gege and fourth uncle and everyone else? When will we go back?" A-Yuan asked. Beside them, Lan Wangji and Wei Ying's parents panicked. The memories of his ex-family is gonna trigger Wei Ying and probably induce another panic attack.

But to their surprise, Wei Wuxian aswered in a calm tone. "A-Yuan, we won't be able to meet them for now. They have moved to a different house now. And we can't go there."

"But why not? Why didn't they take Xian-Gege and A-Yuan along?"

"Hm... Because Xian-Gege behaved like a bad kid, they didn't take me. And they didn't take A-Yuan so that he can stay with Xian-Gege and accompany him. When Xian-Gege becomes a good kid, we might be able to see them. When A-Yuan grows older, Xian-Gege and him will go to visit them, okay?"

A-Yuan gave a dejected nod, lips pouted, eyebrows creased.

Lan Wangji, Wei Changze and Lady Cangse were all shocked upon seeing the mature and calm response of Wei Wuxian. It showed improvement. A very little at a time, but surely it is getting better now.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

As the night approached, Wei Wuxian and others got ready for bed. Lan Wangji stayed for that night. He would be sleeping in Wei Wuxian's room as their were no guest rooms available at the moment. And Wei Ying also bullied him into sleeping on the same bed, since it was big enough. A-Yuan had gone to sleep in the children's dormitory to sleep with his new friends.

Wei Wuxian changed his robes to night ones behind the privacy screen. Between enrobing, while he was naked, he saw the reflection of his own figure in the body mirror diagonal to where he stood.

He looked so sick and ugly and pathetic.

He sighed, blinking away a tear. He doesn't like being ugly like this. He wished he was prettier sometimes, pretty enough for someone to like him, love him. Yet, pushing away the thought, he wore the big silky robes and opened his hair, pulling them over his right shoulder.

He came out of the privacy screen to see Lan Wangji

The man sat on the edge of the bed, tying his hair in a loose braid. Lan Wangji is beautiful. He is utterly ethreal Wei Wuxian isn't sure if he feels admiration or jealous of Lan Zhan's beauty. Perhaps both.

"Let's sleep."

While on bed, Lan Wangji laid completely straight, no movements at all. While Wei Wuxian turned and toiled and tossed around the bed, unable to sleep. He wants to sleep. He is really sleepy and tired. But sleep doesn't favor him.

At the back of his mind, he is also scared of seeing nightmare that he has been seeing for the longest he remembers in his dreams. Wei Ying turns his head and looks at Lan Zhan. "Lan Zhan." He calls slowly, not to disturb the latter's sleep. "Are you asleep yet?"

Lan Zhan slowly opens his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I wasn't able to sleep." Wei Ying replies. Then with more hesitation, adds, "Could i hug you?" Lan Zhan didn't reply for a second. Hell. Wei Wuxian probably said the wrong thing at the wrong time again. "I mean, you don't have to, I─"

"You can." Lan Zhan then replies.

"Oh..." Wei Wuxian didn't think that Lan Zhan would actually say yes. But then again, he is Lan Zhan. The kind, sweet, humble Lan Zhan. "Ok."

Wei Ying awkwardly swings an arm over Lan Zhan's waist. Responding to that, Lan Zhan turned a little towards Wei Ying, and pulled an arm over him with equal awkwardness. After some time of fumbling around, they finally got into a mutually comfortable position.

Wei Ying slept his head on Lan Wangji's arm, and rested his face over his chest. His one arm swung around Lan Wangji's waist, and his leg over the hip. Lan Wangji had his one hand under Wei Wuxian's head, and another over his shoulders.

"Comfortable now?" Lan Wangji's deep voice sounded even more soothing. Wei Wuxian just hummed affirmative. But Wei Ying still couldn't sleep peacefully. There were words in his heart that he ought to let out.

"Lan Zhan." He said after a while, in a low pitch. "If... You were to see your parents suddenly tomorrow, what would you do?"

Lan Zhan wasn't expecting such a questbut he wasn't surprised by it either. "I don't know..." He murmured. For a minute, he imagined his mother and father across the other end of the room. His older figure running towards them and hugging them. Tearing up. Letting them know that he missed them.

But when reality met him, he was still in bed, holding Wei Ying. His grip subconsciously tightened when he realised that his parents weren't really there. The room was empty except them.

He sighed. "I would want to hug them. Want to tell them that i miss them. And to never let them go again. I might cry too. I want to hold onto them and not let go ever again."

Wei Wuxian have a half hearted laugh. "But it's easier said than done, isn't it. I want to do that too. My parents are here but i can't have them. I feel scared. I don't even know if what. I am just scared. Fuck, i haven't even addressed them as my A-Niang or die-die yet. I feel scared, what if they disappear when i accept them. What if all of this vanishes when i finally have something to be happy about. What if this dream ends and i return to my nightmares?"

"I ... I don't know what to say, Wei Ying." Lan Zhan says. "But I can promise you this is not a dream. And you won't wake up to a nightmare again."