Wei Wuxian had calmed down now. He had stopped yelling, thrashing, crying around. He sat in a different room now, with Lan Zhan by his side. His parents and grandmaster were preparing for the ceremony.

He could not say it out loud, but he really wanted to hug his parents, be in the warmth of their arms, for one last time.

But at the same time, he knows, if he did so, he wouldn't be able to continue doing what he was. And the pain in his heart was much stronger than his need for affection and the love for his parents, for him to stop dying.

He suddenly jerked when he felt a hand over his shoulder. "Wei Wuxian, are you ready?" Lady Baoshan asked. Wei Wuxian nodded quickly, getting up.

"I want to get it over with."

"You... You are sure, right? There is no coming back."

Wei Wuxian paused for a second. He wanted to look at his parents across him, but he couldn't dare to. He couldn't even look back at Lan Zhan behind him. "I am sure."

Lady Baoshan gave the child a smile, perhaps in an attempt to reduce the tension in the room. Wei Wuxian tried to smile back, but the best he could do was not-cry at the moment. "In that case, I will handle all of it. The rest of you can wait outside, have dinner perhaps."

That said, the rest of the crowd emptied the room to Wei Wuxian and Grandmaster.

Lady Baoshan guided Wei Wuxian to a bed in the room. "Lie down here, make yourself comfortable, hm?" She said. Wei Wuxian awkwardly lied on the bed. It was soft and warm. Lady Baoshan completed last of the preparations by readying her tools. She lighted some fragrant incense to make the atmosphere better.

She then sat on the bed, beside Wei Wuxian. "If you don't mind me asking, why exactly are you wanting this, Wei Wuxian?" She asked softly.

Wei Wuxian paused for a second. "I am in great pain, grandmaster. Emotionally and physically. I... I have watched everyone i love die because of me. Everybody in the outside world hates me for doing what i thought was right. I have been in pain for a long time, it only increases. But back then, i kept living on because i had some people to take care of. But even they are gone now. I don't have any reason to stay alive now. I am over my limit to handle pain. Besides, everyone wants me dead anyways."

There were no tears in Wei Wuxian's eyes. Perhaps he had none to spend anymore. He doesn't know why he told the Grandmaster all of this. Perhaps because he was gonna die anyways, so who cares if she knows more about him.

"I was attempting to kill myself long ago. But Lan Zhan asked me to wait, so that he could find a way to give me a painless death. That is why we are here. I don't remember much of what happened in the past few days, i was mourning too much over my loss. But i think Lan Zhan took a great care of me then, if i am even alive now."

Lady Baoshan was fighting to hold her tears back listening the poor boy's story. She smiled, instead, and said, "Wei Ying, I don't know why other people have done you wrong this way, but i believe that you are a good person at heart. You definately did not deserve to be treated this way. But at least now, you will have a peace of soul. The heaven will take care of you."

"Why do you think i am good person. In fact... I think i deserve this, from all what i have done." It wasn't Wei Wuxian's fault to feel this way. Afterall, that's what he is been told since the day he adopted a different path of life from others.

Lady Baoshan smiled a little wider and strokes his head. "Bad people don't repent on what they do. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Some bigger than others. You feel remorse for whatever you have done. That is what makes you a better person, Wei Ying."

Wei Wuxian nodded. That felt better.

"Anyways, forget the past. Forget all the negative things that have happened to you, hm? How are you feeling right now?"

"I don't really know."

"It's alright." Lady Baoshan said. "Close your eyes." And Wei Ying did. "Calm your nerves, relax your muscles. Get comfortable." And Wei Ying did. He felt Lady Baoshan stroke his head. It felt good, soothing.

"Imagine you are in a open meadow. Green grass, bright flowers around you. There is cool air around you. Can you imagine a picture?"

"I can."

"That is good. Now let's say─ what's your favorite animal?"

"Erm... Bunnies, i think."

"Ooh, i like bunnies too, you know. Now imagine there are a lot of fluffy bunnies around you. They are cuddling with you, playing with you. And ─"

"Is... Lan Zhan there?"

"You want him to be there?"

"Mm."

Lady Baoshan for a moment admired whatever friendship the Lan Disciple and this child had. "Lan Zhan is there. You both are playing with bunnies. You are talking about something fun. Like the lunch you ate this afternoon, or the dinner you want to eat the evening."

And then, Wei Wuxian started dreaming.

The Lan Zhan in his dream was smiling. But only a little, because that's as far he thinks Lan Zhan smiles. The words of their conversation were fuzzy, he can't understand.

Then it so happened that his a-niang and die-die came in that field, bringing warm food for all of them. The dream him didn't run away. The food smelled good. A-niang and die-die were also smiling.

He felt so happy in his dream. This was the first time in a long time he felt any joy. He genuinely felt so happy he had tears in his eyes. He didn't realise he was actually crying until the previous year cracks burnt due to the salty tears. What would he not give to be that happy in real life, only for once. But it wasn't possible for him.

"Hey, hey, Wei Ying!" Lady Baoshan called, and Wei Ying opened his eyes. "Are you ok? You are crying all of a sudden, are you fine?"

Wei Wuxian didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He just stared at grandmaster. She smiled at him.

"It's okay. It happens. Do you want some more time?" She asked softly. Wei Wuxian nodded.

"Can I be alone?" He asked. Lady Baoshan nodded and got up to leave. But Wei Wuxian held her wrist, "Actually, could you call Lan Zhan?"