Lan Wangji could not dismiss his thoughts. He loved Wei Wuxian. He loved Wei Wuxian a lot. But Wei Wuxian does not love him back. And whatever Lan Wangji does, he would never be able to change it. He loves Wei Wuxian a lot. He loves Wei Wuxian enough to... Let him go.

"Lan Zhan! Won't you be waiting for dinner?" Wei Wuxian swing an arm over his shoulder. The evening was setting, they were heading back home. Seeing the depressed look on Lan Wangji's face, Wei Wuxian's eyebrows creased. "Hey, are you ... Alright? Are you still upset over what I said earlier? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. It was really a misunderstanding, I guess."

"Its ... Its not you." Lan Wangji said. He sighed, clenching his fists. "Won't wait for dinner today, i will take my leave." He looked back, but not at Wei Ying, at Wu Ming. "Could I talk to you for a second?"

Wu Ming raised a brow, but still came in privacy with Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji waited for Wei Wuxian to leave, before he said, "You win."

"Huh? Win what?"

"Win Wei Ying." Lan Wangji looked down to his feet, facial muscles stiffened so he doesn't cry. "I do not think Wei Ying would love me. You two ... Seem better together."

Wu Ming felt strange in his guts. Even though he always wanted to have Wei Ying for himself, now that he actually won, something doesn't feel right. Especially in Lan Wangji's defeat. "Why would you... think so?"

Lan Wangji sighed. "I can't explain in detail, but it just is like that. You love Wei Ying enough to keep him happy forever. You should be with him, not me. You love him."

"But you love him too, don't you?" Wu Ming said. For the first time, their arguments was supporting the other one.

"But he wouldn't love me back." Lan Wangji swallowed the lump in his throat.

"And why would he love me, then?"

"He would. He does, probably." Perhaps it was Lan Wangji's gut feeling. Or perhaps it was what his eyes told him earlier. He looked at Wu Ming in the eye. "Do not argue about it. Confess your love to him. He would love you. Keep him happy forever. I would bo longer interfere."

Wu Ming felt guilty for something he did not even do. "Oh. Okay. If you... Really say so." Wu Ming doesn't know Lan Wangji too well, but he could say for damn surety that the man in front of him was not kidding. "You should still come to visit Wei Ying. I am sure, if not a lover, he still loves you and cares a lot about you as a friend. He really likes having you around, you know."

Lan Wangji nodded. A second later then, he gripped on his sword tight then, "But if you dare hurt him, ever make him an ounce sad, I would not hesitate to knock your head off your shoulders."

Wu Ming chuckled sadly. "I would never even dream of it, I promise." Lan Wangji nodded shortly, before he turned to leave. Wu Ming held back his shoulder. "Lan-Er Gongzi, you are really a nice person. I am sure, maybe not Wei Ying, but you would surely get the best one for you, who'd love you."

Lan Wangji did not respond.

He could never have the best, because no one would ever be better than, or even as good as, Wei Ying.

He left.

He left with heavy steps, heavy breath, heavy heart. Lan Wangji had an excellent control over his emotions, but still, he could not control the tears flowing down his face. He had really let Wei Ying go.

All that really mattered was that Wei Ying should stay happy. And he was, he would be, Wu Ming would keep him. But the fact that Lan Wangji wasn't why he would be happy was what troubled him. And it stung. It pierced through his heart. The heart, which he had named to Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji ever only wanted the best for Wei Wuxian. But... Was it selfish to want to be the one who would provide it?

Before Lan Wangji could find the more mature way to cope with his broken heart, he had purchased a bottle of alcohol, and started drinking it. By the time he reached the top of the hills of Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji had finished the bottle.

He was drunk, absolutely wasted, barely walking on his feet. He was too drunk to realise that he had reached quite a few hours past the curfew. His uncle was waiting for him at the gates, extremely unpleasant expression on his face. "Lan Wangji! Where have you been loitering around this late? Do you realise the time? How late after the curfew it is!? Where had you gone?"

But Lan Wangji, hazed out of his mind, did not answer.

"Wangji!" His Uncle yelled. "Are you even conscious? Do you really think you can appear this late at night and get inside? You will sleep on the ground outside in the bitter cold, for all I care! Early in the morning, you will recieve your punishment, do you understand?"

Still, Lan Wangji stayed muted.

His uncle massaged his temples. "What has happened to you, Wangji? You once were my brightest disciple. But these few months... You have turned into someone else. What has gotten into you? Do you know how disappointed I am in you? Do you only want to remain as a disappointment to the Lan Sect?"

When Lan Wangji failed to respond yet another time, Lan Qiren shook him. The force was enough for the alcohol bottle in Lan Wangji's loose group to fall on the ground. The empty porcelain bottle cracked and broke as soon as it touches the ground.

Lan Qiren looked at the broken porcelain in horror. "Lan Wangji! You... Are you drunk!? You dared to drink alcohol and come to this pristine residence this late at night? Have you lost your brain? Are you even my nephew anymore!?"

This time, Lan Wangji responded. But he most definitely did not respond the way Lan Qiren ever expected him to. Lan Wangji fell to the ground on his knees, and began weeping.

Lan Qiren was shocked. He did not expect Lan Wangji to weaken like this, crying at the foot of his own house. He knew that the reason was far away, far worse than the fear of punishment. It was, his uncle knew, the reason why Lan Wangji was in this pathetic situation. But he didn't know why he turned like this.

Lan Qiren was but a human. Seeing his nephew, whom he had been like a father figure to since birth, in a vulnerable state like this, he could not stay as angry as he was a few minuites ago. He looked at Lan Wangji with unknown guilt and pity. He kneeled beside Lan Wangji on the ground, eyebrows creased, in a softer tone, he asked "Wangji, what's wrong?"

Lan Wangji fell into his uncles shoulders, his actions controlled by his drunken, yearning mind, in a want of needing comfort. "I... i really loved him, shu-fu. I really loved Wei Ying."