After Lady Cangse left, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian sat in a long awful silence. They both were tearing up, but also too embarrassed to say anything first on their part. It was until Lan Wangji fell on his knees, and bowed his head until it touched Wei Wuxian's feet, crying. Wei Wuxian, suddenly becoming conscious, stepped back so he isn't touching his feet to Lan Wangji. "Lan Zhan, you ─"

"Forgive me Wei Ying, i failed you again." Lan Wangji cried. "I promised to stay by you, but I left for so long. I am sorry."

"Lan Wangji, get up." Wei Wuxian said, as if they were strangers. " Let's ... Let's sit on the bed and talk properly.

And so the two sat beside each other on the bed. Lan Wangji, still curious and worried about Wei Wuxian's large stomach, began awkwardly. "You stomach, is it some ... Curse?"

Wei Wuxian slapped over his head. "That's my child in there. Call it some curse again and I will kick you in your guts." And only after saying that Wei Wuxian realised somewhat how his mother felt seeing Lan Wangji in his room. He sighed. "Its very complicated. Basically, its because of Baoshan-ma's core. Its feminine in nature, hence it got me pregnant. It sounds silly, but it will make sense in detail, but I ain't explaining all that."

"Oh. Sorry." Lan Wangji said, clutching his fists. "Is it ... mine?"

"What?"

"I mean, am I the other father or is someone else─"

Lan Wangji never finished that sentence because he earned a second tight slap from Wei Wuxian, this time right on his face. "Lan Wangji! Are you accusing me to be doing stuff with other men? Are you calling me loose? Are calling me light? Don't you already know that I love only─" Wei Wuxian cut himself. He didn't finish the sentence.

Lan Wangji sighed. "I... I don't know how could I ever apologize enough, especially now." He clutched his fists till his nails digged in and he felt blood oozing to the surface.

"Why were you gone, Lan Zhan? What was so important that you couldn't even send a letter to inform me that you'd be gone?" There was pain in Wei Wuxian's voice.

"My family found out that I was visiting the Yiling Patriarch. I do not know how, but they did. They practically locked me up. I was not allowed to go out of cloud recesses, not allowed to use any letters talismans or anything else. I had someone keeping an eye on me all the time, even inside my room. I thought of a lot of plans to escape there to come here. But I couldn't take the risk of letting them find your location. I couldn't risk whatever damage that would cost you. I really had no choice Wei Ying."

Wei Wuxian kept a hand over Lan Wangji's, but turned his head away, not able to look at his own lover. "How did you come now, then?" He asks feebly, all his anger slowly vanishing into the thick air.

"The lady who had been assigned to keep an eye on me, pitying me, allowed it. But not for too long, I have to get back before dawn, before anyone wakes up, lest I get in trouble. If I do not, they might come here for you. I do not trust them anymore." Lan Wangji said. He slowly held Wei Wuxian's hands, intertwining their fingers.

Wei Wuxian tried his best not to cry. He wanted to cry, cry in Lan Wangji's arms. Feel Lan Wangji's warmth again. Kiss him, cherish him, love him again. He wants to hold Lan Wangji and not let go again. "Do you... Still love me?"

Lan Wangji made a small half-choked chuckled. "Of course I do. Wei Ying, never have I not loved you, since started loving you. Not even a second of it. I love you, and hence i have had to tolerate this for so long, because I didn't want to let anything happen to you. But I had gone crazy in the last seven months without you, absolute bonkers. That's why I came to you as fast as I could to meet you. I really love you Wei Ying. I love you so much that in fact the word love is too less to describe my feelings for you."

That did it for Wei Wuxian. He started crying, wailing, falling into Lan Wangji's arms. "I love you too, Lan Zhan. I was worried sick for you. I didn't know whatever happened to you, I was so scared too. I was desperate to see you, hold you, love you. But you didn't came back. How much ever I requested, Baoshan-ma didn't allow me to come to Cloud Recesses for my own safety. I am sorry, Lan Zhan. I love you, and I am sorry."

Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian tightly, falling to tears too. "Why are you apologising, Wei Ying? None of this is your fault." Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian as tightly as possible.

Wei Wuxian digged his head in the crook of Lan Wangji's neck, taking in his loving scent. "Its my fault I am like this, that your family hates me. Sorry that I couldn't be good enough. If I had been better than what I am, maybe ─"

"Wei Ying, i have told you. You are more than what I need. I do not care about them, what they think of you. They do not even know who you are from within, but I do. And you are perfect the way you are. I love you for who you are right now, always have. Never apologize for that."

Wei Wuxian sobbed louder. "I love you, Lan Zhan. I just love you so much I don't even know what I should do." The couple kept crying in each other's arms for a long while.

A while later, when their sobs lowered, Lan Wangji pulled away. He gently pushed back the messy baby hair on Wei Wuxian's face to the back of his ears, and slowly cupped his cheek. He connected their forehead, continuing to caress Wei Wuxian's face. "Wei Ying, can I?"

Wei Wuxian chuckled. "Lan Zhan, you are the father of my little one now. Are you really going to ask still?" Wei Wuxian immediately connected their lips. They kissed for quite a while, slow but passionate and deep.

When they pulled apart, there was a smile on Wei Wuxian's face. He took both of Lan Wangji's hands on his own, raised it to his face, and kissed on the knuckles. "Lan Zhan, just a little over a month later, once this child is out and I am more stable, we will come up with a solution, hm? Don't worry, we are the Light Bearing Lord and Yiling Patriarch, remember? We are a mighty couple. We will come out of this together."

Lan Wangji smiled back. "Mn. We would." But there was another thing Lan Wangji was guilty about. "Wei Ying, I'm... I'm sorry."

Wei Wuxian chuckled. "Now, what?"

"I wasn't there for you these months, during your... When you were with your child all these days. I should have been there to help you, but I wasn't. I'm sorry." Lan Wangji said looking down. At that moment, Wei Wuxian could see the father of his child more than anything else in Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian scooted forward to hug him again.

"Lan Zhan, have you become an idiot?" He chuckled. "One, its not my child, its ours. You are the other father, Lan Zhan. And two, as long as you will be back when I have to raise it, I don't mind at all that you weren't here during my pregnancy." Wei Wuxian placed a chaste kiss on Lan Wangji's cheek, making the other smile.

Lan Wangji circled Wei Wuxian's waist with his arms, hugging him for while. "Wei Ying, I'll have to go now." He said with a heavy voice. He really didn't wanted to leave Wei Ying, but he also couldn't manage to risk the consequences.

"Already? We just met." Wei Wuxian said, displeased.

"I know." Lan Wangji had to force himself to leave Wei Ying, or he might never leave at all. He picked Wei Wuxian's hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. Then, he took off his forehead ribbon. Lan Wangji slowly wrapped the ribbon on Wei Wuxian's left wrist, and tied it with a knot. "Keep this safe till I come, hm?"

Wei Wuxian smiled, nodding. "Should I see you out?"

Lan Wangji shook his head. "You need rest, i already disturbed your sleep enough. I'll get going on my own."

Lan Wangji just started leaving with a heavy heart, when Wei Wuxian held back his wrist. "Lan Zhan, will you be there when our child is born?"

Lan Wangji but his lower lip, but still, smiled when he looked back at Wei Ying. "I cannot promise you, but I will do my best so I am."

I honestly don't know what the fuck this chapter was but let's go lesbians