The night air was thick and heavy, the kind that clung to your skin, promising rain yet withholding its relief. The neon sign outside Wong's Place flickered tirelessly, casting its familiar glow onto the narrow street. Its small, rustic façade adorned with lanterns and posters was like an unassuming invitation to the bustling nightlife.

Despite its tucked-away location, the bar drew a steady stream of locals and tourists, especially backpackers seeking a haven from the oppressive humidity. The promise of cold drinks and lively company lured them in, offering a brief escape from the stifling heat that hung over the city like a damp blanket.

Dark eyes settled on the gathering clouds just as the first drops began to fall, marking the end of his break. Yet, he was reluctant to return inside. Summers at Wong's had always been his favourite, full of new people and energy. Now, he wished to be on the other side of the river, to have more time with the person who mattered most to him. Not just fleeting moments, trying to fight off weeks of accumulated fatigue, but real time to understand him better and figure out why there was always another wall.

Sean sighed, watching the occasional wet spots appear on the still hot asphalt. Just several more nights until they would have the whole weekend to themselves, including a proper date. And he would be damned if he didn't manage to get Jay to talk - not about superficial things like work or group plans, but about them and what they both wanted from their relationship.

After a month filled with unspoken words, Sean couldn't shake the sinking feeling that Jay didn't want or need anything more from him - that they were merely passing through each other's lives without meaning. Yet, deep down, he knew this couldn't be true... because the way Jay looked at him when he thought Sean wasn't watching told an entirely different story.

As the rain began to fall in earnest, Sean took a deep breath and pushed himself off the wall, shifting his focus back on the task. Inside, the scene was unchanged for weeks, a vibrant contrast to the quiet street, yet painfully monotonous. The eclectic decorations on the walls blurred into a backdrop he barely noticed anymore. The air was thick with the usual laughter, clinking glasses, and animated conversations in multiple languages, blending into an energy that had lost its charm.

Sean moved through the crowded bar with the mechanical efficiency of routine, scanning it for anything unusual. Suddenly, he caught sight of a young man - no older than twenty - In the corner near the back exit. Sean recognised him as a frequent visitor and possibly one of Chaiyawat's runners. Unfortunately, he never did anything obvious to confirm his suspicions. However, now, he talked with someone who didn't quite fit the usual crowd. As they exchanged a quick handshake, Sean noticed the small package the runner passed to his companion. The movement was so fast that he almost missed it.

"Oi, kid! Can you take over the bar?" Wong called out over the crowd, pulling his attention away from the pair.

"Sure!"

As he continued serving drinks, Sean tried to keep an eye on them, but the young man disappeared soon after. Somewhere between the customers, he managed to snap a photo of the other guy as he mingled with others, mostly chatting with tourists. Unfortunately, the bar was too busy and packed to catch him on anything specific, but he seemed awfully busy. This could be a potential break they were looking for. Still, he couldn't act rashly.

Sean spent the remaining part of the week on the lookout for the runner and his companion to gather more information. Each night, he spotted the young man again, always meeting with a different person. The pattern was clear: a quick exchange, a few hushed words, and then the runner would vanish into the crowd. Sean noticed that each new person seemed to follow the same routine, mingling with tourists and locals, blending seamlessly into the bustling atmosphere.

To avoid suspicion, Sean kept his observations subtle. He noted the times of the exchanges, the appearance of the people involved, and any distinguishing features or behaviours. He even managed to snap a few more discreet photos, careful not to draw attention to himself. Unfortunately, he was also painfully aware that this wouldn't get them enough details, not without getting concrete proof linking them to Chaiyawat.

At least until he got a lucky break...

Friday night, when his mind was mainly focused on his date with Jay the next day, someone unexpected walked in - Art. Sean was taken aback, to say the least. Art looked tired and much less confident than at Tay's place. His clothes were worn out, and he had a haunted look in his eyes... he seemed very nervous but also high as a kite.

Sean watched him move through the crowded bar towards the runner. The two appeared to get into a hushed argument, their tense body language clear even amidst the noise and chaos. Sean couldn't hear their words, but the fury on the runner's face was unmistakable. Art looked desperate, his eyes darting around nervously. Without taking his eyes off them, Sean slid a beer to a customer across the bar. Art seemed to be in deep trouble, but what dealer who used their own product wouldn't be?

Art followed the usual routine Sean had observed: blending into the crowd, chatting with tourists, and making quick, but in this case, less discreet exchanges. Sean realised this must be how Art worked off his debts to Chaiyawat after he failed to bring any information about their group. Maybe he could be of use to them now?

A few hours later, shortly before closing time, Art leaned heavily on the bar, looking at him with unfocused eyes. He didn't seem to recognise Sean, which was fortunate.

"Whisky."

"It's on the house," Sean said, sliding the drink towards him. "Seems like you have a rough night, mate."

"Rough months."

He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "What happened?"

Art sighed with resignation, gulped down his drink, and then asked for another. "Oh, just another rich asshole screw me over."

Sean pressed the recording button on his phone and set the screen down on the bar, hoping it would catch Art's voice over the music. Luckily, the bar slowly started to empty, and the noise level was much lower.

"It happened more than once? Damn, man, sounds like you have the worst luck," Sean said, trying to sound sympathetic.

"I know, right?" he exclaimed, looking more lively, having found someone to vent to. "None of this is my fault! I fell on hard times, and my so-called childhood friend turned his back on me because his pride was more important, and then his brother fucked me over to have fun."

Sean put on his most shocked expression. "No way!"

"Believe me," Art said with disdain. "I asked him for help... all he had to do was put his pride aside and ask his father for a little bit of cash. But no, Tay refused because of his personal vendetta against his crazy rich parent. Then, he wouldn't cooperate and got me into even bigger trouble with Chaiyawat. So, I asked his brother for help, but he was even worse. Just a spoiled, even richer brat seeing everything as fun."

"Chaiyawat?" he asked, pouring him another drink. "How do you get in trouble with someone like this?"

Art shrugged, sipping his whisky. "He does you a little favour here and there, you know... just enough to get you hooked up, and before you notice, you end with a backstabbing friend."

It took a lot of effort not to tell him he was the backstabbing friend, but he remembered how seamlessly Jay handled him. 'I guess I still have a lot to learn,' he thought with a faint smile. Art seemed to be so done with everything, and Sean could imagine how difficult his life must have been for him lately. Probably trapped in an endless loop.

"Hooked up?" Sean asked, playing dumb.

Art's eyes swept over him, stopping for a moment at his multiple piercings. "For someone with your looks, you are pretty naïve, you know?" he slurred with a smirk.

Sean scratched his neck, looking for a good excuse. "Guilty of being prim and proper mama's boy with a slight rebellious streak."

He finished another glass of whisky, then slightly waved his hand with a tiny bag with pills. "Wanna have fun?"

"What is it?" Sean asked with all the innocence he could muster.

"Molly," Art chuckled. "Chaiyawat's finest and the best way to forget everything. You will love it, man."

"I don't know..."

Art leaned in, glancing nervously over his shoulder, then slid a pill across the bar towards Sean. "The first one is on the house. I'll come back if you want more."

Knowing that just by touching it, he would get implicated as well, Sean shook his head with an awkward smile. "Nah, man, I'm too cowardly for it."

Art gave a quick, tight smile. "No problem. Let me know if you change your mind."

With that, Art shoved pills into his pockets and made his way towards the exit. He moved through the thinning crowd, his steps slightly unsteady. Sean watched as he pushed open the door and disappeared into the rain. As cruel as it was, part of him thought it was a fitting end for someone who betrayed their friend.

Sean woke up to the soft, diffused light filtering through the small window. The room felt hot and stifling, hinting at the late morning. He stretched out on his bed, feeling the rough texture of the sheets against his skin. His gaze instantly gravitated to the other side, where he half-expected to see him. His fingers brushed over the empty pillow. It felt strange to wake up without Jay as if part of him was missing.

"God, I really do love him, don't I?"

His voice sounded almost desperate, like a fervent wish pleading to come true. No matter how difficult it was, he couldn't give up now because Sean was sure he would chase after him until the end of the world. The question that remained was: how?

Not much later, he stepped outside, hoping to find Izzy, but the garage below was quiet. Sean sighed and headed outside towards the small house, only a short walk away. It was as neat as possible for a building in this area, with a well-tended garden and colourful exterior. He knocked and Sari opened the door.

"Hey, sis. Is Izzy around?"

She shook her head. "Someone's car broke on the road, and he went out to help them. Did you need anything?"

"No, just wanted to talk with him about something."

"Come in," she said, pulling him inside. "I was about to make a late breakfast. I will listen to you if you keep Lizzy occupied."

"Deal."

The kitchen was clean and well-utilised, with every inch of space maximised for efficiency. A small gas stove sat against one wall, surrounded by neatly arranged utensils and spices. As always, it felt incredibly warm and inviting, with the scent of fresh herbs lingering in the air.

Sean sat on the chair beside a compact swing with a baby girl inside, secured with safety straps. He leaned over and smiled at her. "Hi, little one, it's your favourite uncle," he said, gently tickling her tummy. "She is so adorable... it must be after you."

"Oh? Are you suggesting my husband isn't good-looking?" Sari asked, threateningly waving a wooden spoon.

"I wouldn't dare," Sean laughed.

Sari rolled her eyes and turned back to the stove. "So? What's wrong with Jay?"

"How..."

"Seriously, Sean?" she chuckled, shaking her head. "Did you forget I'm your big sister?"

Sean sighed heavily, struggling to find the right words. "He always keeps his distance, and I can't even ask him why he acts like this because it feels like he tries to have as little impact on my life as possible."

Sari glanced at him while chopping vegetables. "You mean it feels like he doesn't want to be a part of your life?"

"Yeah," he sighed again. "Sometimes it feels like he'll never really be mine, you know? Like he's just passing through, and I won't get to stay with him in the end."

She paused, her knife stilling on the cutting board. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"

Sean shook his head. "That's the thing. Whenever I talk about us, he shuts down or changes the subject. It's like he doesn't want to let me in."

"Doesn't want to or is scared to?"

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. The idea of Jay being scared of something was incomprehensible to him.

Sari turned off the stove and turned around to look at him. "Sean, have you ever considered that Jay might be afraid to let someone in because of his past. Sometimes, it's hard to do it if all you know are bad endings."

"What do you mean?"

"When all you've seen are relationships falling apart, it can make you scared to trust that someone will stay. And it's easier to keep your guard up than to risk getting hurt."

Sean sighed, running a hand through his hair. Victor's words echoed in his mind, making him uneasy. Could this really be why Jay chose to be alone? It felt like there was something much deeper at play. As a result, Sean struggled to accept the idea that fear was the only reason.

"So what do I do? How do I show him he doesn't have to be afraid?" he asked, though a part of him wondered if it was truly that simple.

"You know, Sean... loving someone is the bravest thing you can do," Sari said gently. "It's about accepting their flaws and fears, even when you don't fully understand them. Jay might be dealing with things you can't see, struggles he may never share with you. The best you can do is be there for him and show him that you're not going anywhere. Sometimes, just knowing someone is willing to stay is enough to help break down those walls."

Sean remained silent for a long time, absently moving a colourful soft toy in front of Lizzy. Lately, he was constantly reminded of how little he knew about Jay. It was paralysing at times, leaving him scared to move in any direction... afraid to make a wrong choice and shatter their fragile balance. But now, Sari made him realise how badly he was overthinking it... and that Jay would never know how important he was to him if he kept hiding it from him.

The Lumphini Park exuded a tranquil charm despite the lingering heat of the day. The sun, now lower in the sky, cast a warm golden hue over the expansive greenery. The air was heavy with the scent of tropical flowers, and the hum of city life faded into a distant murmur, creating a serene atmosphere. A gentle breeze occasionally rustled the leaves, providing a brief respite from the heat, as the lake reflected the sky like a mirror, adding to the peaceful ambience.

They strolled along a shaded path lined by swaying palm trees, their fingers loosely intertwined. A peaceful silence enveloped them, momentarily easing the weight of unspoken words that usually hung between them. And Sean couldn't help but notice something.

"You don't actually like crowded and busy places, do you?"

There was a flash of surprise on Jay's face, instantly buried under his usual expression. "What makes you think so?"

"Let me rephrase," Sean continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "You appear relaxed in any environment, but in places like this, you're in your element... and it's not because you like climbing so much. You seem more like you, not the person everyone expects you to be."

Jay's steps faltered, his mind drifting to a cold winter night and a frost-covered park... to a solitary bench tucked away in the most secluded corner. Two ten-year-old boys sneaking out from their dorms for the first time, naively believing they could change everything.

Jay folded his coat into a makeshift pillow and helped Victor sit down, ensuring he was as comfortable as possible.

"Does it hurt less?" Jay asked, applying ointment he had stolen from the school nurse to Victor's cut lip.

"It stings," he replied, wincing slightly.

Jay smiled reassuringly at him before climbing onto the bench and settling on the backrest with his feet on the seat. "I'll try to get something better tomorrow."

"I still can't believe you just grabbed his hand like that and yelled at him to stop," Victor said, looking at him with teary eyes. "My father is too scary... He got so mad when I told him I didn't want to be a doctor."

"He doesn't scare me at all, and I will always have your back, Vic," he grinned, trying to cheer him up.

"Thanks, but why can't we be who we want, Jay?"

"Who said we can't?" Jay questioned, keeping his cheerful smile. "From now on, this is our spot. Here, we can be whoever we want to be. And no one will ever know about it. Promise?"

Victor nodded. "Promise."

They spent many nights on that bench, but no matter how much time passed, none of them ever broke that promise. It was their spot... a place they could let go for a moment. Part of him found similar comfort in nature, away from people who constantly kept pushing their expectations on him.

"Jay?"

"Hm?"

"Everything okay?" Sean asked, then continued seeing his confusion. "You spaced out."

"It's nothing."

Sean sighed, feeling a bit of annoyance creeping in. "Is it really?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Jay waved him off. "How's at Wong's yesterday? Anything new?"

Out of habit, Sean almost followed the shift in conversation when something inside him hit the brakes, and he stopped to face him. "Why are you always doing it?"

"Doing what?" Jay questioned him despite knowing precisely what he was talking about.

"Avoiding everything related to you and constantly changing topics," Sean snapped. "Cutting me off every time I mention something outside your work or when I try to talk about things that matter. Whatever this is, it should be a two-way street, Jay."

"I don't know what you want from me," he responded, slipping into a familiar sense of detachment as if facing the inevitable.

"I need you to talk to me... to let me in. I can't do this on my own."

Jay looked at him with conflicted feelings. A part of him acknowledged that Sean was right, but another part - the one that had always shielded him - fiercely resisted. It pushed back so forcefully that any hint of resistance crumbled. He was brutally reminded that no one would ever accept him as he was: unable to let anyone in, paralysed by fear of what they would find.

"I told you that you'll regret it," Jay said with chilling neutrality and an air of detachment that sent a shiver down Sean's spine. "Because sooner or later, it always ends the same way."

Suddenly, the meaning behind Sari's words hit him hard... but not nearly as hard as this overwhelming loneliness in Jay's eyes... the way his whole demeanour shifted into something Sean had never seen before. It wasn't just about loving Jay, but about loving his everything. Exactly as he was. All Sean had to do was to make him feel safe enough to lower his walls instead of trying to bulldoze through them.

Instinctively, Sean reached out, gripping Jay's wrist and pulling him in. Surprised by the sudden motion, Jay stumbled and crashed right into him. Sean closed his arms around him, holding him close.

"I love you too much to regret anything," Sean said softly. "I may never fully understand why you're so afraid to let me in, and that's okay. I don't need to," he paused, his fingers gently tracing the line of Jay's jaw. "I'm sorry it took me so long to see this, to understand what you need. But I'm not going anywhere, Jay," Sean added, looking straight at him. "Let's just take it one day at a time. We're here together, right? That's all we need to focus on – today or even just the next hour. That's all I'm asking for."