The sky, ablaze with hues of crimson and gold, seemed to burn against his ivory skin. The laptop balanced on his knees reflected the warm glow, creating an enchanting image. Sean couldn't help but feel drawn to this mesmerising scene, as if the very essence of the sunset had intertwined with Jay, casting a spell that made him irresistible. Before he realised, Sean was only two steps away from him.

Jay groaned with frustration and slammed his laptop close.

"You seem... annoyed."

A slightly teasing voice made him look up straight into amused dark eyes. "That's a massive understatement."

Sean's eyebrow quirked teasingly. "Oh? What or who pissed you off?"

"It's this whole thing with the cleaning service. I want it twice a week, but every time I try to arrange it, the building management keeps pushing me to hire a live-in maid. It's driving me insane," Jay sighed, rubbing his temples. "I don't get why it's so hard for them to follow one simple request."

"It's a trick," he replied, trying not to think how much the idea of a young, attractive woman living with Jay bothered him. "They will set you up with someone cute, and she is in your bed before you notice. I heard they do that with single guys."

Jay burst out laughing. "If that's the case, they will be so disappointed."

"Why?"

"I'm very much gay, Sean."

"Oh," Sean gawked, surprised by the casual nonchalance in his voice. "Why do you even need a cleaning service?" he blurted out in panic as his mind grappled with a quiet undercurrent of relief weaving through his thoughts.

"I work too much to have time for it, and I don't like messy or cluttered places," Jay replied, leaning against the tree, his gaze fixed on the darkening sky. A small, melancholic smile played on his lips. "Actually, this is the most free time I have had in years. It's definitely an experience."

His eyebrows furrowed in worry. Jay was either at university, studying, working or hanging out with them while doing one of the previous options. It wasn't hard to conclude that Jay didn't have free time. But why would someone who seems to have everything push himself so hard? It didn't make sense.

"Why do you work so much?"

"I want to get somewhere on my own, and this is the only way to get there," he replied thoughtfully. "My mother is a massive figure in the legal scene. The kind you learned about in law school, and everyone expected me to follow in her footsteps. Constant scrutiny, questioning my choices just because I have different interests...," Jay trailed off, the weight of his unspoken words lingering in the air. A moment of vulnerability passed, leaving him wondering why he had shared this with Sean. Was it because Sean was so easy to talk to? Or was it something else? The discomfort he felt over the last couple of weeks sunk even deeper.

In the ensuing silence, Jay swiftly changed the topic, perhaps to reclaim a sense of control over the direction of their conversation. "Anyway, did you need something?"

Sean got a clue not to pry into it further but also realised that he shouldn't judge the book by the cover. Jay may have appeared to have everything, but it didn't mean he wasn't struggling, just like them. The last couple of weeks were rather eye-opening.

"I got results and definitely owe you big time. Half of the group failed the assignment," Sean added, plopping on the soft grass beside him. "Just like you said, they fell into the trap of human rights violations instead of considering laws and regulations."

"It was nothing," Jay waved him off. "We had many assignments like this at uni. Testing if you trip over minor details or fail to see the bigger picture. LPC was even worse. The effort they put into ensuring you don't jump to conclusions was astonishing."

"LPC?"

"Legal Practice Course. You do it after law school to get qualifications to practice as a lawyer."

"Damn, I still can't believe you willingly went back to uni," Sean said, making air quotes. "I'm unsure if I could do it again after getting out."

"It's fun, I guess?" Jay shrugged, glancing at Sean. His eyes lingered on the sharp line of his jaw and multiple black earrings, adding to the attraction that Jay found increasingly hard to resist. Yet, he wouldn't be himself if he didn't try... even swooping as low as ignoring Sean's feelings at important matters, hoping it would push him away. Unfortunately, Sean didn't give a shit about it or maybe seen through it. Jay wasn't sure but suspected the latter. Before he realised it, he was getting closer to him – too close for comfort.

"If you think this is fun, you definitely need to come to one of the Full Moon Parties," Sean suggested with a mischievous grin. "It's perfect stress relief. Just imagine the beach, wild music, and absolute freedom. It's an experience you won't forget."

Jay's mind drifted to dorm and uni parties. Free, drunk with no inhibitions. A brief moment where none of them thought of the weight on their shoulders. Just enjoy yourself and forget. A tempting escape. "Now, this sounds like fun. How do we get there?"

Sean did his best not to read too much into "we", but still, his mind went into some kind of overdrive mode and got stuck on reading too much into it. "Overnight train or bus."

"Do you know when the next one is?"

He took out his phone and swiftly checked the schedule. "A few weeks away. We just missed the last one."

"That's a shame," Jay sighed. His enthusiasm dimmed as he realised he truly was getting too close to Sean. Close enough to compromise his principles and chosen path. Was it really naïve of him to think he could simply enjoy it for a while? Step outside for a moment and just be? Looking back at it... none of them ever could. All they had was an illusion of freedom. But this... staying here made him feel more alive than anything before. It was indeed a shame... a foolish game on borrowed time.

Sean didn't like how Jay's face slipped back into its usual indifference. He would rather watch this borderline excited smile. He did the quick math, calculating his expenses for this month and figured it was possible if he stuck to the usual instant ramen. "I don't like the idea of owing something, so tickets are on me in return for your help with an essay. If you don't mind crashing at a dirt cheap place."

"Why would I mind?"

"It can be messy and doesn't come with cleaning services," Sean teased with a cheeky grin, unwittingly leaning closer.

Jay tilted his head playfully, seemingly unbothered by Sean's proximity. "We could always get you an adorable frilly outfit with lace, a pinafore apron and stockings."

"Why me?!"

"Well, I apparently don't have what it takes to pull it off."

Sean rolled his eyes but could not hold back an amused chuckle. He was about to answer when suddenly a shadow loomed over them. With unexplainable annoyance, Sean looked up at a familiar face. "Perfect timing," Sean muttered sarcastically under his breath.

"What are you guys talking about?" Win asked, his eyebrow raised slightly as he unsuccessfully tried to contain a smug look at seeing them so close.

"We are thinking about going to Full Moon Party, wanna come?"

Sean's words made him smile inwardly, but he wouldn't ruin their trip by third wheeling. Who knows what may happen when they are both drunk at the beach. Win made a mental note to let others in on the idea, then sighed with overbearing sadness. "I'm swamped with assignments."

"That sucks," Sean responded, feeling sorry for him.

Win shrugged. "A bit, but imagine how much Tay will owe me for it. He will never hear the end of it," he laughed, trying not to think how severe his friend's condition still was and the risk that he would never have a chance to tell him about it. "But you two should definitely go!"

Sean's gaze lingered on Jay momentarily, anticipation dancing in his eyes. "So, are you up for it?"

Just one night. What harm could one more deviation from the plan cause? He could indulge in this one night of distraction, then return to the familiar comfort of focusing solely on his career, free from the complications of unwanted feelings. After all, this mattered most – staying on track, unbothered by something he neither needed nor wanted.

But then doubts crept in, gnawing at the edges of his resolve. Jay had always been in control, detached, never getting close to anyone. Yet, with Sean, it was different. The way their banter had shifted into something more... Sean's lingering gazes, saying he wasn't the only one to notice it. As a result, Jay found himself drawn to him, unable to resist this magnetic pull between them. But he couldn't afford to pursue it. Staying this close to Sean was impossible – it threatened to unravel everything he had worked so hard to build.

So, perhaps it was time to return to where he belonged before things spiralled out of control? Yet, against his better judgment, he hesitated. It was just one night, a party like countless before. What could possibly happen?

"If I wrap up everything in London on time, why not?" Jay said with a genuine smile, a smile Sean would not see again for a long time.

As Jay stepped off the plane at Heathrow Airport, a gust of brisk April air greeted him, carrying with it the familiar scent of the city – a blend of diesel fumes, damp pavements, and the prominent hint of spring.

For Jay, returning to London was like slipping into a well-worn coat, comforting in its familiarity yet tinged with the bittersweet memories. As he navigated the crowded airport, his thoughts inevitably drifted back to Bangkok, to the fleeting moments with Sean. There was an undeniable pull between them, a magnetic force that had left Jay feeling both exhilarated and unsettled.

But now, back in the familiar rhythm of London, Jay felt a sense of relief wash over him. Here, amidst the anonymity of the city, he could easily get lost between the cracks and forget that Bangkok had ever happened. He could bury himself in his work, immerse himself in the relentless pursuit of his career goals, and push aside the inconvenient stirrings of attraction that had threatened to derail his carefully constructed facade of detachment.

As he hailed a taxi to take him to his apartment, Jay resolved to put the last month behind him and keep Sean at a safe distance. It was a decision born out of necessity, a protective instinct honed over years of keeping his emotions tightly guarded. And yet, as the taxi wound its way through the familiar streets, Jay couldn't shake the nagging sense of unease that lingered at the edges of his consciousness, whispering of unresolved desires and the ever-present spectre of his past.

The penthouse felt colder and emptier, its opulence grinding on him more than ever. His soundless footsteps, as always, left no trace, as if this place was like a black hole swallowing him whole bit by bit until there was nothing left. It made him wish he was still on the other side of the globe, but he couldn't do it... he couldn't chase after another foolish dream, something he could never have. Jay collapsed on the bed with a heavy sigh. He was fine like this... It was perfectly fine to be alone... if you are alone, there is nothing left to lose.

The morning sun filtered through the half-drawn curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room. Jay rubbed the weariness from his eyes, the tell-tale signs of another sleepless night evident in the dark circles beneath them. For the second day in a row, he had buried himself in work, hoping to drown out the relentless thoughts that plagued his mind. But it was futile. Exhaustion gripped him like a vice, and no amount of distraction could quell the relentless pull of his thoughts. He needed something more substantial to occupy his mind and anchor him in the present moment.

Jay was about to leave for his usual bar when his phone pinged with an upcoming message.

Christina Charlotte Emilia

Any chance I can drag you for coffee/fancy green tea?

Me

Ugh, way too polite...

What do you need?

Did you slaughter the board?

Christina Charlotte Emilia

No, the stock prices shut them up 😂

I have a surprise for you!

Me

What is it?

Christina Charlotte Emilia

Look what I got!

Yun Seowoo, my boyfriend.

Jay stared at the attached photo in utter silence for what felt like an eternity as his exhausted on various levels brain struggled to connect the dots. Then, his fingers moved on their own.

Me

What the fuck?!

Aren't you lesbian?

Christina Charlotte Emilia

Apparently not...

We met when he came to take over his father's company, and it happened.

Me

I guess it's never too late for the process of becoming...

Plus, he looks hot, so I can see where you are coming from 😏

Christina Charlotte Emilia

He's all mine 😎

But seriously, thanks for not being weird about it.

Wanna meet him over that coffee/fancy green tea?

Me

Usual place?

As Jay entered the cosy café, the familiar aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeted him, mingling with the gentle chatter of patrons. Tina waved enthusiastically from a corner table. Her radiant smile spoke volumes about the happiness she found with the man beside her. Jay approached with a casual stride, masking any hint of the turmoil brewing within him. This was an important moment for Tina, and he wouldn't ruin it with the mess he got himself into.

"Jay, you're finally here!" Tina exclaimed, her voice brimming with excitement as she introduced them.

As they engaged in light conversation, Jay sipped his green tea, listening to Tina and Seowoo's story about their first meeting in a stuck lift and their shock when they realised they were both late for the meeting with each other. At some point, Jay even forgot about the mess inside his head and genuinely enjoyed himself. It turned out to be a much better distraction than ending up in another hotel room with a person who didn't matter.

Elysium was a chic and exclusive club with an atmosphere of sophistication and luxury. Plush velvet lounges in intimate clusters offered secluded spots for conversations while the expansive dance floor pulsed with vibrant energy under a canopy of multicoloured lights. It was their usual place to go for reunions. As always, there was an array of drinks on their table, surrounded by lively chatter and laughter as they caught up on each other's lives. At some point, their conversation drifted into old times at Westminster school, picking up Tina's boyfriend's interest.

"Life in a boarding school must have been boring," Seowoo commented.

The group mostly stifled chuckles, but Tina burst into laughter. "You couldn't be more wrong."

"Okay, so what was the worst thing you did? Skipped classes?" he pressed, still not entirely convinced. Boarding schools in Korea were known as boring, with little focus on socialising. He expected the school of Westminster calibre to be the same.

"I'm a proper lady and only attended wild dorm parties," Tina laughed and pointed at Jay and Victor. "But they got three months of detention in year twelve for gross misconduct. I will never forget it!"

"Neither do we," Vivian and Jonathan chimed in, laughing.

"That's great because we don't remember a shit... which made that whole detention pretty much pointless."

Tina laughed even harder. "No surprise there. You were drunk out of your minds."

"What did you do?" Seowoo asked curiously

Tina wiped away tears from the corner of her eyes and looked questioningly at her friends. Jay shrugged, giving her the go-ahead, while Victor simply waved for her to continue.

"They got caught drunk after classes in the locker room, and the teacher escorted them to the Headteacher's office. I guess he forgot to body-search them."

"Oh, it was a massive mistake!" Vivi laughed. "I still can't believe we were worried about them and rushed to the office as well. The plan was to defend them, but the image that greeted us - imprinted in my brain forever - when the Headmistress opened the door. There was no way out of it," she added, shaking her head.

"I'm scared to ask..."

Tina looked at her boyfriend as innocently as possible. "Our lovely Headmistress, bless her heart, walked in on Jay, sitting on her desk, chugging whisky straight from the bottle with Vic on his knees, giving him a blowjob. I was sure she would have a heart attack or something... her face was never so red like that day... And we all lost hearing after she started yelling at them."

"The best part? These two couldn't give a shit about any of this," Jonathan groaned, shaking his head with amusement. "I still don't know what possessed you two to do it."

Victor spread his hands and shrugged. "Dunno, but it must have been his fault."

"Mine?!"

"Yeah, I'm sure the menace you were, you dared me to do it," Victor teased, then theatrically pressed his hand against his chest. "My poor, innocent teenage self..."

Jay burst out laughing. "Which part of you was innocent?"

Victor swiftly finished his drink and gave him a knowing look. "For sure not the one, you..."

"STOP!" Jonathan exclaimed, rapidly waving his hands. "Too much information!"

"I suggest we move towards the dance floor and leave these two to reminisce about whatever they were doing back in the day," Vivian said, pulling Tina with her, followed instantly by their respective partners.

As soon as they were gone, Victor strode towards the bar and swiftly returned with two drinks and a bottle of 18-year-old Macallan.

"Thanks," Jay said quietly, without even making a move to grab the drink.

"Don't mention it," he replied, glancing at their friends. They were great, but there were things they wouldn't understand. "So, what happened, and how is it related to Bangkok?"

"It's nothing."

Victor sighed, then sunk into the booth beside him and gently flicked his forehead. "I know this look."

"What look?"

He took a deep breath to stop himself from smacking Jay hard. "Last time I saw you like this, we got detention for gross misconduct," Victor said, shoving the glass into Jay's hand. The truth was that they both remembered precisely what happened that day and why. But it wasn't something they were willing to share with others. "You are drowning again and most likely do something you will regret."

There was a flicker of conflicted emotions on his otherwise perfectly composed and indifferent face. "It's your imagination," he brushed him off, gulping down whisky.

"Seriously, Jay?! How many times do you think I saw you like this?" Victor questioned him sternly. "Did you forget we were in this together? God... we were so naive back then, thinking we could escape by simply drinking and fucking our problems away."

"Back then?" Jay chuckled dryly. "You are making it sound like we are stable and functioning adults now."

Victor froze for a second, then burst out laughing. "Why not? We can pretend for a night we are stable and functioning people with healthy coping mechanisms," he added, grabbing the bottle and pulling Jay with him. "Besides, I need to vent about usual shit, and this place is too loud," Victor added lightly, with their favourite spot in mind. He knew Jay's limits and comfort zone for conversations with feelings involved. A slight sign of pressure, and Jay would withdraw in a blink of an eye, leaving his problem unresolved.

Watching them leave, Jonathan gently tugged at Tina's sleeve. "I was sure they were done with it," he commented, pointing at Victor's hand wrapped around Jay's wrist.

Tina's eyebrow furrowed in confusion. "They were since we left Westminster, but who knows with them," she added, her voice tinged with worry as she tried to figure out if there was anything unusual in Jay's behaviour.

But before they could delve deeper into the issue, Vivian scolded them and ordered them to mind their own business. She spent months in remote locations with her family charity organisation. As much as she appreciated their work, tonight, she was determined to have fun and get drunk with her best friend, talking about their boyfriends – although Vivian still couldn't believe that Tina had one. It was as alien a concept as Jay or Victor settling down.