The city outside was awash in a soft, silvery drizzle, with droplets tracing lazy paths down the expansive windows, blurring the flickering lights of Bangkok's skyline. The soft glow of the desk lamp cast gentle shadows, creating a warm, intimate atmosphere – an intimacy mirrored in the unwavering gaze directed at the person by the desk.

Sean, dressed only in pyjama trousers, had been leaning on the doorway for a while now, unable to look away from him. He loved seeing Jay in a suit with a tie, but this time, the desire in his eyes was tinged with worry. Recently, Jay worked more and longer, making it truly sink in that he would be gone in a couple of weeks and Sean wasn't sure how he would deal with it.

Lost in thoughts, he didn't realise that the call with the client had ended, and Jay's voice turned lighter, tinged with casual familiarity.

"Sorry for keeping you in for so long," Jay said apologetically. "Yeah, I know... Cédric Grolet's afternoon tea? Wow, you upped your game... No, no... Anything you wish... Yes, that would be perfect."

Sean couldn't hear what the other side said since Jay was using earbuds, but it didn't matter. It was the way Jay smiled – elegant and charming – that caught his attention. It was a smile Sean hadn't seen before, and he found it incredibly endearing. It made him wonder how many different sides Jay had...

Suddenly, Jay looked at him, and his expression shifted – just for a moment, the usual indifference softened. His lips curved into the faintest smile, one that was more genuine and intimate, full of unspoken feelings. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but in that fleeting glance, Sean saw a side of him that felt deeply personal and undeniably real... his favourite.

He walked over, his bare feet soundlessly moving on the polished wooden floor, and leaned against the desk, just out of the camera's view, patiently waiting for Jay to finish his call with Rebecca.

"Sorry, I still have some paperwork to deal with. You should go to sleep," Jay said, leaning back in the chair and rubbing his nose bridge to chase away tiredness.

Sean glanced at the time displayed in the screen corner. It was already past four in the morning, and his eyebrows furrowed worriedly at another long night. "I don't mind keeping you company," he said, removing Jay's suit jacket and gently massaging his shoulder.

"It's late."

"Exactly, your sleeping schedule is all over the place," Sean stated, watching him type a document. "I'm amazed you can focus enough to still work."

The room settled into a comfortable silence, broken only by the subtle sound of the keyboard as Jay continued working, with Sean leaning over his shoulder. Halfway through his task, he felt Sean's breath brush against his ear, followed by a playful nip at his earlobe. Jay tilted his head a bit and looked at him questioningly, but Sean only smiled innocently and urged him to carry on.

"Behave."

Sean had heard that tone before – a warning wrapped in dangerously dominant notes, a subtle reminder not to push too far. Jay's voice seemed to hold a promise that the consequences might be more than Sean could handle. Yet, after months of being with Jay, learning just how attuned he was to his needs, Sean wanted to push him over the edge to see what would happen if carefully controlled restraint disappeared.

So, he behaved... but not for long. His fingers ghosted over the exposed skin of Jay's neck, followed by a series of heated kisses below the ear, letting his teeth graze just enough to send a shiver down Jay's spine. Despite this, Jay maintained his usual composure and continued working as if he were unbothered by his actions. But Sean wasn't one to relent. Finally, Jay's breath hitched as Sean's hand slid lower, applying a gentle yet insistent pressure against his crotch.

"Sean."

"Hmm?" he hummed, running his teeth over the edge of Jay's ear.

"Which part of behave you didn't understand?" Jay asked him, his voice low, controlled with a sharp edge to it – a final warning.

Sean smiled triumphantly and whispered, "It's not my fault you didn't specify how I should behave."

In an instant, the chair spun around, and Sean's back hit the wall with a satisfying thud. Then Jay's hand firmly pinned his wrists above his head with the knee wedged between his legs, restraining his movements. His dominant eyes bore into Sean's. They were like pools of desire locking onto him with an intensity that took his breath away.

Involuntarily, Sean's gaze followed his every movement, watching as Jay's free hand reached for the knot of the tie, deftly undoing the silk fabric, leaving it draped loosely around his neck. He swallowed hard when Jay's fingers opened to the first button of his shirt, exposing the curve of his throat, just inches from where Sean desperately wanted to touch.

Jay's presence was magnetic – strong and commanding without effort. His movements carried a quiet authority, making Sean's pulse quicken. The light above them cast enticing shadows on Jay's face, highlighting the chiselled lines of his jaw and a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

Before Sean could fully register, Jay closed the distance between them. The kiss that followed was all-consuming, leaving no room for anything but submission. The pressure was unyielding, his lips demanding, pulling Sean deeper into a whirlwind of sensation. His thoughts scattered, overwhelmed by its sheer force as every part of him responded, surrendering entirely to the undeniable command in Jay's touch.

When Jay finally pulled back, releasing him from his firm grip, Sean was left reeling, his body trembling and breath ragged.

"Sorry," Jay murmured, his voice low and strained as he buried his face in the crook of Sean's neck. "I don't usually lose it like that."

"You should," he gasped out. "It's so bloody hot. And you are into it, aren't you?"

Jay leaned back against the desk, gently pulling Sean with him. "It depends on the mood and person. Plus, I also don't mind being on the receiving end," he explained, his fingertips lightly brushing Sean's jaw. "But it doesn't matter because I would never push you into something you are not into."

Sean gripped his hand, intertwining their fingers. "I could be."

"Sean..."

"You know, six months ago, I wasn't into any of this," Sean interrupted, gesturing towards him. "But now, I can't imagine being with anyone else." He paused, gripping both ends of Jay's tie and harshly pulling him closer. "So fuck me already unless you want to see just how determined I can be to get what I want."

"Oh?"

The way Jay's calm expression shifted sent shivers down Sean's spine. If he had thought Jay was dominant before, he was so wrong. What Jay could do with just a tie... the way he took command of every fibre of his being so utterly and completely was beyond anything Sean had imagined. It was intoxicating, a heady mix of desire and submission that left him breathless. Relinquishing control to Jay was easy and felt exhilarating, especially as the line between pleasure and pain blurred deliciously, leaving Sean teetering on the edge of both. He could easily get lost in it... in him.

A couple hours later, the bedroom was shrouded in a dim, muted light, with the partially opened blackout curtains blocking most of the morning sun. The air was cool, sharply contrasting with passionate heat that still seemed to linger on the edges. They were on the bed, fresh out of a hot bath. Sean was lifelessly sprawled on his stomach, utterly spent, yet his face betrayed a deep, satisfied contentment. His body felt heavy. Every muscle relaxed as if it had melted into the mattress.

"Fuck me..." Sean muttered, unable to even lift a finger.

Jay's eyebrow cocked teasingly, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. "I just did."

"You sure did... and I may be dead now, but I'm so in," he said, shifting his head to look at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

Jay smiled faintly, realising how much Sean had changed his perspective on sex. Their compatibility was unlike anything he had experienced before, a connection that made pushing boundaries feel effortless, natural even. What had once been a meaningless distraction was now an expression of feelings Jay struggled to articulate.

Sean gently gripped his chin and pulled him in for a soft kiss. "The best part of being your boyfriend is trying all these things that make you happy... unless it's a cake, I absolutely refuse to do that."

Jay was momentarily caught off guard, still somewhat unaccustomed to Sean's genuine affection – to the notion that someone could care so deeply about his happiness, a concept that had always seemed foreign to him. For so long, merely existing and going through the motions while focusing on his career had been enough. But now, things were shifting, forcing him to confront the unsettling realisation that everything else felt meaningless without Sean.

He didn't even realise that another of his defensive walls already had faint cracks. Still, conversations like this were the bane of his existence, making an escape the only option.

"Do you want me to make you breakfast or order something?"

Sean propped himself up on his elbow, his chin resting in his hand, looking at him with amusement. "Running away, are we?"

"Oh, no... I could just walk away slowly, and you still wouldn't be able to catch me," Jay chuckled, completely unfazed.

"And whose fault is that?"

Jay shrugged nonchalantly. "You asked for it."

Sean glared at him. "I will so make you pay."

"I look forward to it," he quipped, reaching for his phone to order breakfast. But as soon as he unlocked the screen, the playful expression faded. "Tay texted me last night."

"Something happened?"

Jay shook his head. "He just wants me to visit him."

"Are you going to?" he asked, watching as Jay's expression plummeted even further into indifference.

"We have nothing to talk about."

Despite lingering pain in his lower back, Sean lifted himself up and straddled him. He brushed off a strand of hair from Jay's forehead, his soft gaze fixed on emotionless brown eyes. "But you still want to see him, don't you?"

The afternoon sun poured through large windows, casting a warm, inviting glow across the space. The outside world seemed distant yet present, with a clear sky and gentle breeze visible through the glass... the outside world Tay missed so much. He wished he could be out there, but despite all his hard work, it was still impossible. Tay could only manage short walks with support before becoming breathless. The weakness in his muscles made even simple tasks a struggle, leaving him frustrated and yearning for the strength and independence he once had.

But this wasn't the only thing lingering on his mind. Tay kept checking his phone, but there was no response. It made him anxious... worried that Jay gave up on him. If that was the case, he had only himself to blame for it.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Tay froze briefly, watching as it slowly opened, revealing the last person he expected to see. It was like looking into a mirror if his expression could show pure indifference, bordering on nonchalance, as if nothing could faze him.

"You wanted to see me."

Tay flinched slightly, amazed at how well the voice matched the demeanour. "Yes..." he stammered, unsure what to say. He never expected his brother to feel so distant, but then he was the one who drove the wedge between them even further. "I owe you apologies... I shouldn't talk about things I have no idea about."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not," he instantly protested, afraid Jay would just leave. "I acted like an ungrateful jerk. If it wasn't for you, I would be long dead... but instead of thanking you, I jumped at you with accusations. I realise now... I was wrong."

Jay's eyebrow cocked questioningly, but he didn't say anything.

"Fair enough," Tay mumbled, realising that this part of his brother didn't change. "Instead of verifying facts, I jumped to conclusions based on one event and made up my opinion without ever considering your circumstances and how difficult it must have been for you."

"What event?"

"When we were sixteen, I had a massive fallout with father," he started, clenching his fists on the blanket. "During our argument, he slipped and mentioned the name of your school. It was the first time in a decade that I finally discovered where you were. I called them, but the receptionist wouldn't let me talk to you, saying you were in detention for gross misconduct and treating school like a party. It made me angry... while I was trying to find you, constantly fighting father for scraps of information about you, you were having fun... then things spiralled out of control, and I grew resentful."

Jay's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he finally moved from the door and sat on the chair by the bed. "I wasn't having fun," he said flatly. "Our mother cost me something I put an immense amount of work in because she couldn't find time for one signature. My only way out was gone in a flash. I simply lost it and decided to drink myself into oblivion, then have sex in the headteacher's office to see if mother would show up for a change."

Tay looked at him, speechless. Even as a child, Jay was always more reserved and rarely showed any emotions, the quiet but dangerous type, but now he just seemed empty and resigned. He couldn't help but wonder what happened to him.

"What do you mean by for a change?"

Jay shrugged. "Nothing... anyway, why did you want me to come? Do you need anything? Is there a problem with your treatment plan?"

He was about to argue and push him for an answer, but Tay realised he didn't have the right. They were no longer inseparable twins who understood each other without words. Now, they were nothing more than strangers. It was a devastating realisation... but it was not nearly as hurtful as the one that followed... a fact that there was nothing they could do about it. Still, he didn't want to let go.

"I just wanted to apologise for being an asshole... and catch up properly," he said, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I'm sorry for not trusting you and trying harder to get in touch once I found you. I should have known better... and figured out this fucking bastard would hide your letters."

"Sean told you."

"Yeah... I hate to admit it, but he made me understand how dumb I was," Tay let out a forceful chuckle. "I really don't get how you put up with him."

"We are on the same wavelength," he replied without hesitation. "Why do you hate him so much?"

Tay shrugged. "Sometimes you just have people you don't get along with, and he is annoying as fuck... he even went as far as to claim he had sex with you in my fucking bed."

"What makes you think we didn't?"

His eyes widened in shock as Jay's expression shifted to pure amusement while his jaw dropped to the ground. "Why the fuck you would hook up with him?" he uttered without thinking.

Jay smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm as gay as a maypole, and he is bloody hot. Why wouldn't I?"

"You are what?!" he exclaimed in shock but quickly corrected himself. "Sorry, I didn't know..."

"It's natural," Jay responded calmly. "We may look the same but have nothing in common."

Tay felt a sharp sting at Jay's words, the calmness in his brother's voice only amplifying the hurt. Just as their mother wished, Jay had become the epitome of a proper British gentleman, from his accent and manner of speech to the smallest detail in how he carried himself. Besides facial features, nothing about him hinted at his mixed heritage. Meanwhile, he had soaked in Bangkok's culture and rhythm, the roughness of the poor district blending with his Chinese upbringing. They were like two people who didn't belong in the same picture.

"They got what they always wanted," he scoffed, unable to hold his anger. "And we never stood a chance, didn't we?"

Jay shook his head, agreeing with him.

"Compared to you, I was lucky," Tay continued with resignation. "At least I got to stay in the place we knew while you were ripped away from everything, and living with our mother must have been another challenge."

"I was living in the dorm."

His clenched fist trembled as everything fell into place. Their mother had always been career-driven, while their father focused more on raising the perfect heir. This divide shaped how they treated them – his father, though an asshole, at least spent time with him, teaching him. Meanwhile, their mother constantly pawned Jay off on tutors. He should have realised that after moving to London, she would find a more permanent way to remove the obstacle in her path without losing the heir to carry on her legacy.

"How often did you see her?"

"We had annual meetings to discuss my progress at the end of the school year," Jay replied, his tone indifferent as if he was commenting on yesterday's weather.

For a long time, Tay sat in stunned silence, unable to deal with the unbearable truth that while his brother was utterly alone, doing his best to survive, he had viewed him as a traitor. The weight of his misjudgment crashed down on him, leaving him overwhelmed with guilt and regret. Tay only realised he was crying when his vision blurred, and he could no longer see Jay's face.

"I'm so sorry, Jay," he said quietly, his voice trembling. "I had no idea... I thought you were... I was so wrong about everything... I... I'm so sorry..."

"I guess some things never change... you were always jumping head first into things without thinking," Jay responded lightly. "Besides, it wasn't as bad as you think."

Tay found it impossible to believe it, but he respected that this wasn't something Jay would want to discuss with a stranger. Maybe one day, he could ask, but not now. After all, this was their first conversation in eighteen years... awkward and distant, but it was a start.