The night enveloped the bedroom in complete darkness, with the blackout curtains ensuring no city light could pierce the stillness. The faint sound of rain tapping against the windows added a subtle rhythm to the quiet. The unspoken words and unresolved tensions seemed to hang in the air, creating a palpable sense of distance.

Like every night for the past two weeks, Sean struggled to sleep. On the surface, he acted as if everything was fine, but deep down, it was just another lie. The weight of the consequences was suffocating.

A few days in the hospital had cost nearly three years' worth of his living expenses. Ten internal and fifteen external stitches marked the severity of his injury, compounded by antibiotics treatment and restricted movement. It somewhat didn't come as a surprise that years of surviving on instant noodles had left his body malnourished, which vastly contributed to the rapidly spreading infection and hindered recovery progress. As a result, his treatment plan spanned over two months – care he knew he couldn't afford and another thing Jay was forced to cover for him.

But this wasn't the only reason why Sean couldn't shake the gnawing guilt that had settled in the pit of his stomach. Neither was it the lingering pain in his arm or the relentless reminders of how close he had come to something far worse. It was Jay's response – or lack thereof – that haunted him.

Jay hadn't brought up the argument again, as if his own feelings didn't matter, as if he had decided to bury everything to make things easier for Sean. Instead, he focused entirely on Sean's recovery, allowing him to fully move into the penthouse, helping him with every task, ensuring his diet was balanced and full of nutrients, accompanying him to follow-up appointments, and even picking up the slack with his internship. Same for the trip they had to cancel, never voicing any resentment or frustration. Jay simply continued to be there, steadfast and composed, as though nothing had changed.

But Sean could sense that something was off. The absence of any emotional response, the way Jay carefully sidestepped anything that might lead back to their argument, made Sean feel worse than if he had just gotten angry. He guessed this was how Jay processed things – by pushing them aside, by refusing to let emotions get in the way – but in this case, he would have preferred anything else because the silence was suffocating, and the weight of Jay's unspoken hurt was more than he could bear.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and a sliver of light from the hallway cut through the darkness. Sean instinctively turned towards it, leaning on his left arm and ignoring the sharp pain that followed. Jay must have worked late again – it had become a regular occurrence lately. But this was the first time Sean had seen him look so exhausted. Yet, the weariness vanished almost instantly as Jay realised he wasn't sleeping.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Jay asked, but then his eyebrows furrowed worriedly at Sean's pained expression. "Do you need me to bring you painkillers?"

Sean shook his head and sat on the bed, running his fingers through his hair as if collecting his thoughts. Seeing Jay so worn out yet still prioritising him deepened his guilt and pushed him over a breaking point. "Can we... talk?"

Jay leaned on the doorframe and nodded slightly. He knew how hard this must be for Sean – someone who always valued his independence to be so reliant on someone else. Not to mention the financial consequences, which must have been even more daunting than everything else. Watching Sean struggle like this was tough, but Jay wanted to respect his space, giving him time to work through it on his own terms.

He sighed and gently patted the bed beside him. "Can you come here, please?"

The quiet voice with desperate notes made him reconsider the core of Sean's struggle as if suddenly it became about something else entirely, making Sean appear incredibly vulnerable. Jay crossed the room without hesitation, and the mattress dipped slightly as he pulled him close. His fingers gently tangled in the black hair, burying Sean's face in the crook of his neck.

"What's the matter?" Jay murmured softly, pressing a kiss on the top of his head.

"I'm not sure where to start."

Jay couldn't help but smile as Sean's right arm wrapped around him, bringing them closer. "Start with something simple... like what's keeping you up?"

"You," Sean replied without hesitation. He wanted to continue, to voice his concerns, but before he could, Jay instinctively pulled back, creating a painful distance between them.

"Sorry, I didn't think about that... I can crash in one of the guest bedrooms after work so you can get undisturbed sleep."

His reaction only deepened Sean's helplessness and confirmed the sinking feeling he had for a while now... that it wasn't just about Jay not being used to expressing his needs, but the ingrained conviction that what he wanted or felt didn't matter – to anyone, perhaps not even to himself. Still, Sean couldn't figure out what could have made him this way? How could someone so outwardly charismatic and self-assured seem so invisible?

"Not like this," Sean protested, firmly gripping Jay's wrist to stop him from leaving. "I miss falling asleep with you... and knowing you're stuck working this late because of me doesn't help."

"It's not your fault..."

"You could at least blame me for taking your time... in fact, you have so much you could blame me for, but you won't even stay angry at me. Why?" Sean asked, finally letting all his bottled-up feelings out.

"You're already struggling enough with it," Jay responded calmly. "You don't need me to rub it in your face."

"But you have every right to do it, Jay! I really let you down..."

Jay froze as he realised this wasn't just about the injury or the financial burden. Sean was agonising over his feelings, something Jay wasn't used to at all. In fact, it was unsettling – almost frightening – to realise that someone cared enough to worry about how he was handling things related to them.

He had spent years believing that his needs and feelings were irrelevant and that expressing them would only lead to disappointment. It was easier to detach himself from it and let go instead of setting himself up for failure. Emotions were inconsequential, unnecessary and bothersome. But now, here was Sean, not just acknowledging his feelings but willing to take responsibility for them.

"I feel like shit for expecting something from you but not doing the same in return... for hurting you like this... I can't even imagine how disappointed you must be with me, yet you never complain about it, and I don't know what to do," Sean said, desperately holding onto him. "How do I go back to the moment you were comfortable enough around me to ask for small things? How do I fix it, Jay?"

Jay rested his hand below Sean's jaw and kissed him softly. "I'm not that petty, you know?" he said lightly, but his gaze remained serious. "Even if it resulted from your actions, you were severely injured and sick. Wouldn't you say your recovery takes priority over any possible grievances?"

As always, Jay's reasoning didn't leave much room for arguments, but Sean was too stubborn to let go. "Not to me."

"Well, it should be."

Sean looked straight into those naturally indifferent brown eyes, now softened by a faint trace of warmth. "Well, it won't be because you are more important to me than any of this. I never expected someone can get so important to me in such a short time, but you did... and of course, I had to go and thoughtlessly fuck this up."

Jay looked at him, utterly speechless. The meaning behind Sean's words and the warmth of his touch made his emotional defences tremble and further expand the existing cracks. It felt as if the first wall was ready to crumble, held only by a thread and his sheer will.

"I won't lie," Jay started, deciding to be honest with him. "It's not the nicest feeling to see you seriously injured and unconscious, only to discover that you lied to me and that your actions contradict your words. Your reckless approach to your own life and future made me beyond angry. But in the end, none of this matters because when you look at this from a distance, it seems natural to not trust someone you just met."

Sean felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice-cold water over his head as he realised that this whole situation had sent one loud and clear message: 'I don't trust you'. He had always pushed Jay to open up and let him in, but what was he doing in the meantime?

"I understand this wasn't your intention, but this is how it felt," Jay continued, subconsciously intertwining their fingers. A simple gesture that put Sean at ease, especially in the face of his following words. "You know... I was wondering... maybe we should stop for a moment and figure out what this thing between us actually is and what we want from it before one of us ends up regretting it."

Sean could swear his heart stopped momentarily as he realised how far Jay had stepped outside his comfort zone to say it. Still, it didn't make his potential answer any less scary. "I assume you are going somewhere with it?" he asked carefully, trying to control the tremor in his voice.

Jay remained silent for a while, thinking about Sean's words at the hospital and tonight. It made him wonder if he could match his commitment level and be as open about his feelings. But it was probably impossible for someone like him.

"I'm not the type of person who can give you what you want, but you already know it, right?" Jay said with unusual hesitation.

Sean nodded slightly. He had always known that Jay wouldn't change his demanding work schedule and that things Sean might have expected in the distant future – like marriage, children, or even frequent verbal affirmations of love – were off the table. But did he truly need any of this? The answer was simple.

"I don't love you for what you might give me in the future. I love you for who you are now, just as you are, Jay. And that's enough for me. It will always be enough."

"Nothing lasts indefinitely."

He expected this type of answer and leaned closer, pausing inches from Jay's lips. "If you are willing to stick around, I will prove you wrong."

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"Because you're worth it, and I want you to officially be my boyfriend – with all the perks and responsibilities that come with it, including talking to you before I put any reckless plans into motion."

"You're impossible."

"Is that a yes?" Sean asked, his lips nearly brushing Jay's.

"Yeah."

Sean finally closed the distance and kissed him, then smiled at him shamelessly. "Perfect, now we can have make-up sex."

"I didn't know we were fighting."

"You and your obsession with minor details," he chuckled. "It has been two weeks..."

"It wasn't me who ended up with stitches and strict orders to avoid strenuous activities."

"Oh, come on... We both know you can be gentle if you want and turn it into a light activity."

Jay was indeed gentle, and the stitches remained intact. More importantly, that night, one of Jay's carefully constructed walls finally crumbled, allowing Sean to take a step closer to the man he had been waiting for.

Sunlight filtered through the canopy of trees lining the street, casting playful shadows on the pavement. The air carried a light breeze through the streets, bustling with the steady flow of people and vehicles. It mixed with an intoxicating aroma of street food, luring passersby to colourful stalls.

Sean stepped outside the pharmacy, his gaze lingering longingly on a stall offering deep-fried snacks. It felt like an eternity since he had indulged in anything remotely unhealthy. Just as he moved towards the golden-brown fish cakes sizzling in hot oil, a stern voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Forget about it."

He sighed and reluctantly turned away, then casually reached out to take Jay's hand, their fingers loosely interlacing. Sean had always been careful not to push him too much, aware that while Jay was perfectly fine with intimacy and touch when it came to sex, he seemed uncomfortable with casual, affectionate contact outside of it. But now that things had changed, Sean was planning to take full advantage of it and ease Jay into getting used to the physical affection.

In hindsight, Jay should have known this was what Sean had in mind as perks – these subtle gestures, holding hands, and the small touches that seemed to come naturally to him. Yet, it wasn't overwhelming. Sean seemed to have a way of balancing the affectionate touch with his limits while gently nudging him out of his comfort zone. In the end, knowing Sean's persistence and stubbornness, Jay decided to let it be.

"You are way too cruel," Sean complained as they resumed walking towards the market. "My stitches are finally out. You can't possibly deny me something deep-fried and numbingly spicy?"

"Yes, I can."

Sean gave him a sidelong glance. "On what grounds?"

"Boyfriend's privilege," Jay said playfully, pulling him across the street. "As a compromise, I can make you fishcakes meeting your doctor's orders."

Sean was rendered speechless, never expecting Jay to use it against him like this. He couldn't help but smile as this simple assertion made him incredibly happy. And he didn't even dare to argue against it.

As a result, a while later, Sean stood near a stall with fresh produce, half-listening to Jay's conversation with the Auntie owning it. He couldn't help but enjoy the way Thai rolled off Jay's tongue, softened by his British accent. It even made him forget they discussed how to make the unfortunate fishcakes healthy.

"Oh, Sean! What a surprise," Cherry's upbeat voice reached him as she approached him from behind. "I haven't seen you for ages! How have you been?"

"Better than ever," he replied, turning towards her. "Aren't you usually spending summer in your hometown?"

"Yeah, just came for a few days," she said, stepping closer. "I was supposed to hang out with my friend today, but she got called into work. So, now I'm bored with plenty of time to kill."

"That sucks."

Cherry clasped her hands together and gave him a knowing smile. "Maybe you could help me out? I kinda miss our sex, so do you want to have fun?"

Sean shook his head, then pointed towards the produce stall. "That's my boyfriend."

"Your what?!"

"My boyfriend," he repeated, amused by her reaction. "As you can imagine, I'm off the market. Permanently."

"No way!" she exclaimed, staring at him in shock. "I never knew you were into guys... I mean, good for you, but wow... that's unexpected."

"Tell me about it."

She glanced around, her eyebrows knitted in concern. "Are you sure you're okay? You know how some people around here can be... I'd hate for you to have to deal with any of that."

"Don't worry, I can deal with a few bigoted assholes."

"I know you can, but things like this can wear you down, so if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me," Cherry said, shifting her gaze to the person by the stall. "Wait a minute... is that Tay?"

"God, no, I wouldn't touch that asshole with a ten feet pole."

"Damn, there goes my fantasy about enemies to lovers," she chuckled. "But seriously, he looks like a more refined and elegant version of Tay... are they related?"

"You could say that," Sean replied.

Cherry gasped, playfully covering her mouth. "Sean! You did not hook up with your nemesis brother. That would be so evil and even better than enemies to lovers trope."

Sean glanced at her in disbelief, suddenly realising she was a female version of Win, which left him a bit conflicted given the nature of their past relationship. Still, it gave him an idea...

"If you are bored, I have a single friend you may get along with."

Halfway across the city, the afternoon sun poured through the windows, illuminating the group gathered around Tay's bed. The atmosphere was relaxed yet focused as they were engrossed in a heated boss fight.

Suddenly, Win sneezed. The noise was so abrupt that it caused Fort to jump slightly, though he didn't tear his eyes away from the screen.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, someone must be talking about me," he waved him off, scrunching his nose. "Unlike you two, I'm charming and popular."

Tay burst out laughing. "In your dreams."

Win looked at him, offended. "Fort is the smart one, you are the angry one, and I'm the charming one, which creates a perfect combination...," he trailed off with a thoughtful expression. "I wonder what Sean would be... he kinda has a bit of all, doesn't he?"

"How is he?" Tay asked casually.

"Good, they removed his stitches today, and he's done with antibiotics," Fort explained, landing a final hit on the boss. "In a few weeks, he should be back to normal."

Tay nodded in acknowledgement, but it was clear that his mind was somewhere else. In fact, he had been like this for over a week now, and they started to get a bit worried about him.

"I met him here a while ago," Tay said finally, setting his phone on the side. "He wasn't alone... I guess I owe you an explanation."

Fort shook his head. "It's clearly a complicated family matter," he replied, exchanging a knowing glance with Win. "If you are willing to share, we will listen, but you don't owe us anything."

Tay hesitated before speaking again, his voice quiet and uncertain. "Can you... tell me what kind of person he is?"

They glanced at each other with a sad realisation that they knew Tay's identical twin brother better than he did.

"We can try," Win said, smiling at him. "But we don't know him nearly as much as Sean does. Jay was never part of our group. He helped us with a few things but always seemed to respect that it was your life and didn't impose on it. He is a really good guy, you know?"

They spent the afternoon honestly telling him about their time with Jay, painting a completely different image than the one he had. The brother he had imagined was someone who blindly followed their mother's ambitions, someone who lived a life of privilege without a second thought. But the person they were describing was someone entirely different – someone who had quietly chosen his own path.

"Did he really attend our classes without knowing much Thai?"

Win nodded. "Jay is much better now at spoken language but still can't read the script, so exams were fun, but we made it," he added proudly. "Your scholarship is safe."

"Thanks, I owe you for it."

"We are all fine because you took one for the team. This is the least I could do."

Tay swallowed the lump in his throat. He really didn't expect them to care so much, to go to such lengths for him. Even if all of this resulted from his mistake. But deep inside, he was glad things turned out this way, giving him a chance to reunite with the person he missed his whole life... a chance Tay hoped was still there.