Faint light seeped through a small window, casting a delicate blue haze. March mornings were mercifully cool, a brief lull before the city's heat. A soft drizzle began tapping on the corrugated metal roof, each drop ringing gently through the thin walls with a steady, rhythmic hum. For now, though, everything held to the quiet, suspended in the fragile peace of early morning.

Suddenly, the muted stillness of dawn was broken by a soft, melodious alarm. Sean reached out blindly, hand moving sluggishly, weighted by exhaustion that clung to him like a second skin. These early calls with Jay were becoming harder as his body started to rebel against endless hours of balancing his internship, pro bono work, studies and looming deadlines. He let his arm drop back to the mattress for a moment, trying to summon the energy to leave the bed for the shower.

A little while later, Sean emerged from the bathroom, looking a bit more awake, though the dark circles under his eyes remained. He pulled on jeans and a loose, wide-cut T-shirt before fishing his phone from beneath the covers. Sean settled on the bed and leaned against the wall, watching the screen as it displayed an outgoing video call. When it timed out, his brows drew together slightly, and in that small moment, the distance between them felt more pronounced than ever.

Their last meeting dated back to New Year's, when Jay visited Bangkok, and they spent nearly two carefree weeks in an overwater bungalow on Cheow Lan Lake. Their days followed an easy and natural rhythm. Sometimes, they would hike around the park or climb cliffs; others, they would lounge by the lake or simply stay in bed. Mostly, though, Sean enjoyed seeing Jay like this... more free, somehow, yet grounded in each moment. It made him feel much closer as if the endless walls between them were slowly vanishing.

That closeness felt like a fragile memory now, making their regular video calls the sole lifeline, tethering him to the person he loved more than anything. But the screen could not replace Jay's presence... the sensation of his touch and the subtle cedarwood and cypress scent that Sean missed so much and would give anything to feel again. Not to mention, Jay's birthday was tomorrow, and they couldn't even see each other because of their busy schedules. It hurt to miss it.

Suddenly, his phone lit up with an incoming call, and he swiftly swiped to accept it. Instantly, Jay appeared standing in front of his bed, a white towel wrapped provocatively low on his hips, droplets of water tracing the contours of his well-defined physique as he towel-dried his hair. Sean swallowed hard, wishing they weren't thousands of miles apart.

"Sorry, I just got back," Jay's voice resonated from the speaker, his figure leaning closer to the camera. "Jonathan dragged me for drinks. He couldn't decide if he was ecstatic or utterly petrified that Vivi mentioned marriage, and at the time, pouring an enormous amount of whisky on the issue sounded like a great idea."

Sean chuckled with amusement. "Reasonable."

"Yeah... it was... but I would rather be somewhere... else."

"I know," he replied, his fingers subconsciously brushing over the image on the screen. "Not to mention that seeing you like this seriously strains my sanity. Like I'm going to die if I don't fuck you tonight."

"The feeling is mutual," Jay said with his usual one-sided cheeky smirk while checking something on his phone. Probably another work-related email. "Sorry, can we move it to the evening? I will catch you around my lunch break."

"Sure," Sean answered, slightly disheartened. "Did something happen?"

"No, it's nothing. Don't worry and get more sleep, I will see you later, okay?" Jay added hurriedly, slamming his laptop shut.

Sean remained fixated on the screen for what felt like an eternity, a perplexed frown etched onto his features. Jay's sudden urgency to end the call left him unsettled, stirring a wave of disappointment. Their long-distance situation was already a constant challenge, and moments like this made it feel even more frustrating. Finding time for these calls was difficult enough, and Jay's abrupt departure made him feel even more lonely.

With a sigh, Sean dragged himself out of bed, hoping routine might fill the void Jay's absence left behind. But the day felt unusually empty, hollow in a way that made it hard to focus. Classes blurred together, and his thoughts kept slipping away, forcing him to double back over his work. Even his texts went mostly unanswered, with only sporadic replies that felt like something was wrong. He tried to reason with himself that Jay was probably busy with work, but it did very little to help.

In the second half of the day, his mood plummeted underneath a sinking feeling that it was always like this. Jay never talked about his feelings, rarely said he missed him, and not to mention any other reassurances. Most of the time, Jay acted steadily, seemingly unaffected, as if they weren't separated by thousands of miles. But today, even though Sean had always believed he didn't need words to know where he stood, the silence was harder to ignore.

And the last thing he needed was to bump into Tay at a pro bono clinic. A face he both loved and hated.

"You look like shit," Tay sneered, giving him a side-long glance.

Sean looked at him tiredly. "And yet, better than you."

"Still pinning after my brother?" he asked, leaning on the desk. "You do realise the faster you move on, the better for you, right? Someone like Jay... his life was mapped out long before you showed up. Sooner or later, he will do what's expected and marry someone who will bring the family more power, money or status." He raised an eyebrow as if daring Sean to argue. "A contractual marriage that aligns with the Anderson family's plans. It's inevitable, Sean. People like us and people like him... we don't mingle. You'll only get hurt."

Though he masked it with a grin, Tay's words hit closer than Sean would admit. He forced himself to brush it off, refusing to let him see even a flicker of doubt. "Wow, I didn't know you cared about me so much," he said with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

Tay rolled his eyes. "I don't give a fuck about you, but it will be a pain in the ass to deal with your crying when you read about his wedding on the news."

"Quoting your brother: 'I would rather fucking die than ever get married', so I think I'm safe."

"God, I didn't know you were this naïve," Tay tossed causally, then walked away.

Watching him retreat, Sean forced himself to dismiss the taunt, but the doubts lingered as if Tay's words had brought up anxieties he had been trying hard to ignore. The financial gap between him and Jay had always been there, something that seemed trivial when they were together, enjoying the moment. But now, that distance felt sharper, hard to ignore as he thought about what building a life with Jay would really mean.

Jay wasn't just another person who fell into his life. He came from a world Sean could barely imagine. One where legacy, wealth, and expectations were woven into daily life, where choices were often shaped by unseen pressures Sean had never had to face. And while he knew Jay wanted this, wanted them, it didn't always ease the sense that Sean might never quite fit into that reality.

He didn't even realise when these doubts chipped away at the easy certainty he had once felt. Sean found himself questioning how they would make it work, not because he doubted Jay's commitment but because he feared his own limitations. Would he be able to match the weight of what Jay's world demanded?

Sean never asked this himself when love had felt like enough to eclipse every difference between them. But now, even though he knew their feelings were real, he couldn't shake the worry that it might not be enough.

The evening on the campus was quiet. A few students lingered outside, finishing their conversations before heading home, while others passed through the pathways in silence, their footsteps echoing faintly against the empty buildings. The soft glow of the campus lights cast long shadows across the walkways, flickering with the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze as the night gradually settled in.

Sean slowly walked towards the car park, wishing to leave the whole day behind and forget everything that weighed on his mind. But as soon as he approached his motorbike, Sean froze, convinced he had finally lost his mind. There was no way the image in front of him was real. There was no fucking way Jay was leaning on his bike with a sleek duffel bag over his shoulder, looking exhausted. Suddenly, Jay looked at him with this cheeky, one-sided smile Sean loved so much.

"To answer your question," Jay started, his voice full of playful and teasing notes masking his tiredness. "Yes, I'm real."

"How?"

The shock and surprise in Sean's voice made this sudden trip so much more worth it. "Flight at 1am, barely made it though."

"You are impossible," Sean finally smiled and closed the remaining distance, stopping mere inches apart.

"I couldn't let you die, could I?" he replied, gripping Sean's waist and pulling him even closer.

There was a moment of hesitation, a shared breath, before their lips met in a collision of emotion and pent-up desire. The sensation was electric, a rush of feelings cascading through them both. Sean could feel the warmth of Jay's touch, the firm yet gentle grip of his fingers sliding into his hair, sending shivers down his spine.

"Fuck... I need you now," Sean's needy whisper brushed against Jay's lips, betraying the volume of his desire to be with him.

"Nearby hotel?" Jay proposed between sensual kisses traversing from Sean's jaw to the base of his neck. "It's only a few minutes drive."

"Don't tell me you got it sorted out as well?"

Jay smirked playfully, reaching into Sean's pocket and taking his keys. "You can admire how awesome I am after I fuck you senseless."

These dangerous notes in Jay's low voice, combined with his intense gaze and possessive touch, were enough for Sean to wordlessly grab his keys from Jay's hand and jump on the bike. As soon as he felt the firm embrace around his waist, they zoomed out from the car park.

The room's details were a blur to Sean as he felt his back sink into the plush mattress, Jay hovering over him. All that registered was the vast expanse of the bed and slender fingers gliding underneath his shirt, asking for more.

Suddenly, Jay paused, resting his forehead on Sean's collarbone. "Fuck," he uttered with frustration. "I forgot to pack condoms. Do you have any?"

"No, I stopped carrying them around since you went back to London," Sean responded, equally frustrated. "Fucking hell... do we even need them?"

Jay lifted his head and looked at him with slight surprise, which almost instantly morphed into understanding. "My regular health check came back clean."

"Same here."

There was a brief pause as they silently came to a mutual agreement, and the matter settled between them once and for all. They trusted each other implicitly, a trust that made Sean realise there was nothing to worry about. He could talk about everything with the person in front of him... but it could wait...

Much later, moonlight poured through floor-to-ceiling windows, blending with a warm glow illuminating the messy bed and the faint steam lingering from their recent shower. Sean was leaning on the bathroom door, watching Jay discussing case-related documents on the phone with Rebecca, wearing nothing but a towel... a white towel that seemed to start it all. But what struck him the most was how ethereal Jay looked against Bangkok's night skyline, almost as if he wasn't real.

"I still can't believe you did it," Sean muttered, hugging him from behind and kissing his shoulder softly.

Jay glanced at him with playful sparks spilling from his tired eyes. "I guess when you pour enough whisky over your problems, the simplest solution makes the most sense. Although, I wish I could stay longer."

"When do you need to go back?"

"The day after tomorrow," he replied, turning around, his fingertips tracing Sean's jawline before pulling him into a soft kiss. "I need to be in court on Monday."

Sean felt a jolt in his chest as it sunk in that Jay had crossed half of the world without hesitation just to spend a single day with him... and it wasn't just any random day. The enormity of that gesture hit him like a ton of bricks, dissipating the tension that stuck to him recently.

With a soft smile, Sean gently pushed him onto the bed and straddled him, his hand tracing the lines of his boyfriend's sculpted chest. Despite the visible signs of exhaustion combined with jet lag etched on his face, Jay looked happy. Sean leaned in and kissed him, slow and tender, conveying a simple yet profound message: 'I love you so much I could die'.

"That's plenty of time," Sean reassured him light-heartedly. "Just a couple more months, and none of this will ever be a problem."

Jay pulled himself up, his forehead resting against Sean's. There was an unusual hesitation in his voice. "Did you consider it?"

Sean felt a ripple of unease at Jay's question. The thought of moving in together had lingered in the back of his mind, prickly and unresolved. His contract with Anderson, Chambers & Partners offered a generous relocation package, along with a refund from the hospital, it was enough for a decent start. But moving to one of the most expensive cities in the world was daunting, and Sean knew his intern salary wouldn't even touch the cost of Jay's place. The thought made him uncomfortable, reinforcing the disparity between their lifestyles.

"You did, didn't you?" Jay's soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "But you can't come to a decision."

"How did you know?"

Jay smiled at him, his arms wrapping around Sean's waist and pulling him closer. "I guess I know you better than you think."

Sean sighed. They never discussed finances as, in many ways, it felt inappropriate, but they had to have this conversation at some point. This and other things that were pestering him recently.

"Can you honestly tell me how much you spend monthly in terms of living costs and so on?"

"Somewhere between nine to ten thousand."

Sean was taken aback not only by the number but also by how casual Jay was about it, almost as if it was an insignificant amount to him. Well, most likely, it was. But to Sean, it was nearly half his annual intern salary. The sheer contrast made him feel even more uneasy and uncomfortable. "Fuck... there is no way I can do it."

Jay's eyebrows furrowed worriedly at desperate notes in Sean's voice. "Do what?"

Sean didn't even seem to hear him as he realised the cost would be even higher with two of them. He wanted nothing more than simply to fall asleep and wake up with a person he loved by his side, but he didn't want Jay to feel responsible for him or, worse, taken advantage of. What was he supposed to do now? He would probably need a second, third and maybe even fourth job, but would he have time for it? Would it be enough? His thoughts spiralled, reflecting his worry, confusion and anxiety, but suddenly everything stopped. His mind was taken over by a deep, grounding kiss and a slight pang as Jay bit his lower lip.

"You are overthinking this," Jay said, his voice still soft but stern, fully catching Sean's attention. "You don't need to carry half the weight for it to work, Sean. It's not that much different from us."

"I really don't see how that's fair to you," Sean insisted.

"Oh? So it's fair with you putting all the effort into our relationship, but it's not fair for me to do something that takes no effort whatsoever?" Jay questioned him, his hand resting intimately on Sean's nape. "Think about it this way. You will leave your whole life behind and move to the other side of the world because that's where my life is. You plan to sacrifice so much... and still worry about silly things like bills. You are incredible, you know?" he added with a slight smile.

Sean was rendered utterly speechless. He never considered it from this perspective as he focused on the financial aspects of his decision. But seeing it as a bigger picture, he finally understood where Jay was coming from. It was his way of supporting him through all of this, but it also lifted a massive burden off his shoulders. He gently gripped Jay's chin and looked into his now even more exhausted eyes before kissing him. As if on instinct, Jay pulled him closer, deepening their kiss. It was short but incredibly passionate, leaving them both breathless but clear-minded.

"Can we make it work if we put 30% of our monthly income towards living expenses?" Sean finally said, coming to a decision.

"Easily, but wouldn't it be better to start with 10% on your part until you finish LPC?"

"Are you sure about this? You won't end up regretting it, will you?

Jay's eyebrow quirked questioningly. "Are you going to regret being with someone who is allergic to talking about feelings and doesn't do affection"?

"Touche."

"Yeah... and once you get full-time employment, your financial situation will continue to improve, while I don't think this will ever change," Jay said, gesturing at himself.

Sean laughed, feeling fully relaxed for the first time in months. "No worries, I love you anyway."

"Does it mean you are in?"

He absolutely loved how this spark of excitement lit up Jay's fatigued expression. It was amazing how he could have passionate sex and then meaningful and cohesive conversation after such a long flight and barely any sleep. Little things like this made him fall for Jay all over again.

"I would rather have you in me again, but you should probably get some sleep," he said with a cheeky smile, but his message was clear. In a couple months, they will be living together.

"I'm insomniac, remember? No need for sleep."

When Sean woke up around noon, Jay was the first thing his gaze searched for. He instinctively combed through tousled dark brown hair, which made him realise that Jay must have cut it recently. It was painful to know how much they were missing out about their lives, but not much longer... soon every morning would look like this. Not to mention, playing with Jay's hair while he used him as a pillow was already close to perfection in his eyes.

Enjoying the peaceful moment, he didn't even notice a slightly worried gaze observing him for a while.

"Something on your mind?"

Startled by the sudden question, Sean jumped, nearly throwing Jay off his shoulder. "It's no...," he paused and slightly shook his head as if changing his mind. "It's something we vastly sorted out already, but as stupid as it sounds, Tay managed to get under my skin."

Jay's eyebrows furrowed as he listened to Sean recounting conversations with Tay, leaving him utterly perplexed at the nonsense his twin kept spouting out of spite. But he understood where Sean was coming from. Being this far apart was difficult, and the lack of time for visits made it even more challenging. And he definitely didn't make it any easier on Sean.

"In which century does he live in?" Jay laughed, finding the whole thing hilarious despite feeling bad for Sean. "Besides, my mother is very much aware I'm gay and has long given up on nonsense with continuing lineage. So yeah, the chances of me getting married are still sitting solidly at zero."

Seeing him like this, Sean couldn't help but laugh as well. "Sorry, I must be more tired than I thought to let him get to me like this."

"Well, you do have way too much on your plate."

Sean glared at him. "It's not something I want to hear from an insomniac workaholic," he teased, his fingers tracing along Jay's jawline before settling with a firm grip on his chin.

Jay's eyes narrowed, lips curling in that familiar smug smirk that practically begged for a response. And Sean wasn't the one to pass on the challenge.

"Happy birthday," he muttered, then without warning, pulled him close, pressing a hard, determined kiss to wipe away the lingering arrogance on Jay's face.

Breakfast or rather lunch was forgotten. The quiet hum of the room gave way to sharper breaths and muffled moans. The warmth beneath the sheets was anything but gentle now, filling with the steady pulse of control and surrender. And as boundaries blurred, there was an unspoken promise – mornings like these, charged and unrestrained, would soon be any time they wished.