I gave myself two months time to check whether my new jobs could be managed with my old part-time jobs.

My health reports were not impressive, but they weren't really poor too. I wasn't put on the sidelines, and I was thankful for my luck.

After I got the news of Tejas being away for almost two weeks, I was going through what is known as ambivalence.

Fancy term, right? I also didn't know there was such a word that existed, and it fit perfectly with my situation.

I wanted to avoid Tejas because of a number of reasons, but his absence was feeling like a dark ominous cloud that followed me everywhere.

Why am I thinking about him so much? What am I going to do when he would return? I don't want to meet him, but I also keep getting reminded of our last conversation. What should I do with myself? These conflicted feelings are ruining my mental health. What do I exactly want?

Because of my inability to come to a proper conclusion, I was zoning out and messing up in my part-time jobs. Thankfully, my colleagues were very understanding and covered for me whenever I made a mistake. I couldn't do the same at my new jobs though since I had to prove myself there.

After acting like a half-dead brainless zombie for two days, I reprimanded myself to keep my personal life separate from my professional life.

I began my job at a fishing dockyard, and it was very energy consuming. I had to fill up huge tubs with fishes, shrimps, crabs, etc. after inspecting them; later, I had to load them up in a tempo. The more tubs I finished, the more I got paid.

The tubs were heavier, so I always carried them on my head as suggested by other working aunties, and I had some difficulty on my first day, but after a few days, I got the hang of the work.

The pay was good as told by Eknath Uncle, and me and my family loved fishes, so I always got one kilogram free of seafood to take home. I was really happy with this side job, so I shifted my call centre's job to late evenings.

My schedule for the weekdays looked like this:
4:00 am - Wake up and get ready within ten minutes. Grab tiffin and leave for the fishing dockyard. Hail an auto and catch the first fast train from the station two spots away from my home station.
5:15 am - reach the dockyard, start work at 5:30 and fill up tubs for two hours. Eat breakfast in the break.
7:30 am - leave the dockyard and nap in the train for two hours and reach the fast-food restaurant. Rest for one hour before shift starts at 10:30.
10:30 to 12:30 pm - complete the shift and leave for Sarthak's studio. Apologize for getting late and practice hard to catch up with the classes. Attend college if dance classes are held late in the afternoon.
5 pm to 6 pm - leave Sarthak's studio and reach call centre by 7 pm. Do the shift for two hours.
9 pm - leave for home and sleep in the train for two hours before I drop at my place by 12 am.

As for weekends, I slept like a sloth, ate, and took tution from Arushi. My mom's advice was really working. After resting on Saturday and Sunday, I felt refreshed to start my work on Monday. And with the help of health supplements, my fatigue had lessened too. Three to four hours of sleep wasn't enough, but the current situation of my family was more important than my sleep.

Once I get rid of Shailesh, I will sleep for one whole year.

Fortunately, for now, no important dance workshops or sessions were conducted on weekends. I knew the timings were going to change soon; looking at my hectic schedule, I was sure that I would have to quit my call centre job sooner than I thought even if my boss and colleagues were really nice. I had to do my studies too.

One week passed by just like that, and as Eknath Uncle had promised, I got a call to join the event management company he had selected for me.

Due to the promising aspect and my experience in the same field, I quit my call centre job after I got my salary. My boss tried to convince me to continue, but sadly I had to leave. I was glad that he was kind enough to understand, and he even offered that I could join back any time if needed.

I wish my new boss is also nice like him.

Now that my call centre part-time job was gone, I managed to reach Sarthak's studio on time, and after Suhas Sir's mandatory classes, I went to see my new workplace. It was close to Sarthak's studio, and I didn't have to break a sweat to reach my destination.

Once I reached the event management company's office, I quickly gave a small interview for formality, and my new employer was a lady in her late forties, running her event management business with her daughter.

I was strictly told about the rules and regulations, and for the first three months, I was going to be on a probation period. I was used to it, so I wasn't nervous. My confidence helped me in getting a place on the team on the first day itself. I got familiar with all the employees, and after two days, I got my uniform and started the work.

The first event I worked at was really huge, and as it was an inauguration of a NGO by a prominent businessperson, there were a lot of VIP guests present. And as I had already predicted, Tejas's mother, Jyoti Jaiswal was also there with Hriaan's mother, Viraje Aunty.

I couldn't thank my stars enough when my team leader decided to give me some other task, and I was saved from the eyes of Jaiswal Aunty.

I knew I couldn't always run away from her because now that I was working for such a famous event management firm, Jyoti Jaiswal was ever-present at such events. I wished Tejas's father was here instead of her; he was just like Tejas, very kind and friendly.

Tejas... It has been more than one week, and I still haven't seen him. I am not sad. I am just wondering. I am not the only one who misses him. Other trainees and my mentors also keep asking about him and wish for him to return soon.

Bhoomi, leave others, but why do you miss him? Isn't it good that he is away? He always confuses you, doesn't he?

He does, but whenever I see him, he shines so bright. I forget about everything. It feels like all of the darkness around me evaporates the moment I notice him. I know I still don't understand him completely, but he is a good person. I have been following him for so many years, and I have never seen him being impolite or rude with any of his fans or other people. He is always calm and collected.

But you have seen him get angry and annoyed. You forgot how much he scolded you? He even challenged you that time and got mad when you rejected his challenge. What about his mood swings? Bhoomi, decide for once what you feel about him. Either you like him or hate him. There's no inbetween.

Why not? I accept that I didn't like how he was treating me because of Boomer, but he has been very helpful and nice to me too. If he really disliked me, he wouldn't have shown his concern for me. And I have already taken out my anger on him a lot of times, and still he never fought back. He could have easily thrown me down in a punch, but he always told me not to get hyper and stay calm. Why should I hate him?

So, you now know how you feel about him?

Of course. He is my dance idol and inspiration. I am thankful for everything he has done for me till now.

He is just your dance idol? Nothing else?

Yes.

Liar. Your heart is beating as if it will jump out of your body. Bhoomi, you liked him, no? Even your friends know that you have a crush on him. Why are you trying to hide your feelings? Remember, the more you bury it, the more it will sprout.

I knew you would say something like that. Okay, fine. What if I have a crush on him? What's that gonna change? You really think I have time and energy to confess my feelings, get rejected, cry for my broken heart, and beat up my friends for teasing me about it? No thanks. I already know how it will end, so I am not going to fall into your trap.

You are a coward, Bhoomi. If you will just get rejected, you will at least be able to move on. You can also have a brand new crush. If you keep thinking about Tejas, then remember about his mother too. She does not like you at all. Even if you are imagining stuff, don't forget what your reality is.

You are right. I wonder what Tejas is doing right now. I hope I act normally once he returns. All these feelings are so overwhelming. He should stop being nice to me; I don't want to misunderstand his good deeds and fuel my stupid imagination. I have got a huge responsibility on my shoulders. I can't afford to get my heart broken at this moment.

While mulling over my pathetic love life and worrying about my family, I finished my shift and left for my home. In the train, I tried to sleep but I wasn't able to. After a long time, I browsed The Emperors' YouTube channel on my phone and sighed as I watched the older videos.

Even on the tiny mobile screen, Tejas was glowing. His smile was contagious, and I reminisced about my old days when I used to hide in my tin shed and watch his videos non-stop.

I re-watched a lot of dance battle videos and remembered that match when I had made my entry as Boomer. I was so anxious at that time, but when I had started battling against The Emperors, it felt like I was a completely different person. I could be acting overconfident, but even Tejas looked very interested while battling me.

I know I had caught his eye, but I was faking being a guy at that time. I have doubted about this before too: does Tejas give me attention all because of Boomer? Is my real identity of Bhoomi Devarkar not of any concern to him? I am an idiot. I shouldn't have rejected him when he had challenged me that day. At least, after the dance battle, the real meaning behind all of his actions would have been clear. Tejas considers me as Bhoomi or Boomer?

I had started sulking again, so I just watched the YouTube videos and added fuel to my sadness. I was mad at myself for having a crush on Tejas. I also knew my feelings were more than just being infatuated. I liked Tejas, and I was trying to name that liking as a fan liking their favourite celebrity, but I didn't like him just as a fan; I liked him as a person - a person that made me turn into a tomato just by his smile.

His absence made me realise how much I missed him. His selfless care and ability to handle my temper without getting irritated were the qualities that confused me, but I admired them a lot too. I wanted to see him, and if possible, I wanted to confirm my feelings for him.

Was I just a fan or a fan that was romantically intrested in their idol? What will happen if I actually confess to him? What will I say? I will surely tell him why I admire him and how much he has inspired me, but what after that? I won't be the first person to confess to him, that's for sure.

I was already confused about why I was missing Tejas so much, but after the self-talk in the train, my worries just increased. I was afraid of any kind of misunderstandings that my stupid heart could build up.

Bhoomi, why are you being so serious? If Tejas does not like you, then it is okay, no? He is not the only guy in the whole world. You both may be in the same college and dance training program, but both of your lifestyles and social status are totally different. Don't be so sad by imagining idiotic scenarios in your mind. You yourself said that you don't have time for love and all, so why are you wasting your time?

I can't help it. Sometimes, even if the day is good and everything is alright, I still feel helpless. I feel lonely. My family and friends are with me, but I still feel like I am alone. I can't tell my friends anything, but every time I am going through a tough situation or need anything important, Tejas somehow ends up giving it to me without saying a word. I know I always complain about it, but I think I have gotten used to him helping me. I don't want to take advantage of him.

I was annoyed with these feelings. The more I tried to keep them away, the more they danced in front of me. I slapped my face with my palms when I was still fighting with my inner voice even after I entered my chawl. My whole day was spent in sorting out my feelings.

In the midnight, I woke up my sister to help me understand my situation. I didn't want to disturb her, but I couldn't discuss this issue with my parents. Mom would have pulled my ears because I had already confidently told her that I liked no one and wasn't even able to do so.

"Di, how do you know you love Ritvik Bhaiyya?" I asked.

She narrowed her eyes. "Who is the guy?"

"There is no guy. I am just asking."

"Okay, you don't want to tell me. Why are you asking then?"

I sighed. "I am sorry, but please help me. I am very confused. I can't afford to get distracted right now, but all of these feelings keep coming like huge tides. I want to clear my mind."

My sister patted my head. "Don't stress so much. It is okay to like someone. What are you confused about? Whether you like him in general or love him?"

I nodded. "He is a very kind and caring person, Di. He always helps me and is very popular. He takes care of everyone around him; he is everyone's favourite. Even as a dancer, he is way ahead of me. I like him, but I don't know if it's as simple as that. I myself say that he doesn't like me, but when someone else teases me about it, I don't like it. I don't want to turn into a toxic fan."

Di giggled. "Fan? Bhoomi, it is completely normal to have feelings like that for a guy. Nice guys are very hard to find these days, you know. What does he feel about you? Does he also like you?"

I pouted. "I don't know. He keeps confusing me. He takes care of everyone, so I don't want to misinterpret him when he helps me too, but whenever I have interacted with him, I have always gotten confused and left speechless. We didn't start on a good note, so I am not sure. Also, why would he like me? I just want to clear out what I exactly feel."

Dhara Di pondered over my words. I waited for her to give me an answer, but she started quizzing me instead.

"Do you get jealous when he talks to other girls?" she asked.

"Sometimes?" I replied. "I know it is stupid. He is a public figure and has a huge fan following too. I don't get jealous anymore."

"How do you feel when he talks to you?"

"Good and clueless."

"Ever had a fight with him?"

"A lot of times, but he always manages to divert the conversation. He never gets angry apart from one particular issue. But now, he has stopped bothering me about that issue also."

After that day I had gotten angry at Tejas for challenging me because of Boomer, he had stopped mentioning about it. He had even offered that I could beat him if I was mad at him. Of course, I wasn't going to do so.

"Okay," Dhara Di said. "Just stay calm and analyse how you react when he is around. Don't be strict with yourself. The more you run away from your feelings, the more they will trouble you. You are a human and suppressing your emotions only leads to disasters later. I know our family is in a tough situation right now, but your metal health is important too. You can lie to others, but you shouldn't lie to yourself."

"But I know nothing will happen between me and him," I grumbled. "He is very different from us. I should just keep my feelings at the level they are."

"Is he an alien?" Di retorted.

I shook my head. "But his social status is-"

Di pinched my cheek. "Social status doesn't matter, Bhoomi. Love doesn't ask for such things while attacking you. It is okay. Chill. You should be glad that you like a kind person and not some bad guy."

"He is really nice, Di. He scolds me, but I always learn a lot of stuff too. He hardly reacts to anything, but he is very passionate about his crew..."

I didn't let my sister sleep as I told her all about Tejas. She didn't force me to tell her his name, but I knew she knew who I was talking about.

Well, I can't assume anything and don't want to misconstrue anything about what Tejas does, but I can clear out what I truly feel for him.

Some of my doubts were cleared thanks to my sister. Since my mind didn't feel blocked, I was able to concentrate on my work more properly and didn't end up zoning out.

The thoughts of Tejas were always in the back of my mind, but I wasn't trying to get rid of them like I was doing yesterday. I started my day happily, and like that, a few days passed normally before I got a very good news.

Due to my work ethics and attitude, my event management boss removed my probation period and inducted me in the team on a contract basis. This happened within less than a week, and I was really surprised by my employer's decision.

My boss told me that I deserved it; so, along with the new achievement, new responsibilities were unlocked too. Just like other days, I was getting ready for an event.

Unlike the usual charity and wedding functions, this event was held by a high-schooler to celebrate his birthday. I was prepared to get my ears damaged because youngsters made a lot of noise no matter where they were.

And I was right when me and my colleagues landed in the venue. The hall was huge and the decoration team had done a great job. I plugged some cotton balls in my ears and steeled myself to deal with the teenagers.

I was on the servers' team for the first half, and later on, I had to supervise that all of the guests received return gifts and make sure that the place was continuously cleaned.

The moment the event's start was announced, huge crowds of high-schoolers and some older kids started swarming inside the hall. I wanted to see the birthday boy in person. I was surprised that his parents allowed him to hold such a large-scale party for his 16th birthday.

Finally after some time, I saw the main star of the function, and I kind of felt that I had seen him before. I tried hard to remember, but after my eyes started hurting, I gave up.

As I had predicted, the kids were continuously yelling and dancing like maniacs. I got reminded of Rehman; if he was here, he would have made the best out of every moment.

I was serving snacks to a bunch of kids when I noticed the birthday boy arrive and stand near us.

Suddenly, the air turned chilly, and I looked upon in confusion when the birthday boy glared at the kids that I was serving to.

"I thought you were too busy training with your new crew to come here," the birthday boy said to a boy.

"Come on, Ronit. Isn't it your birthday today? I thought at least today you would grow up," that boy said.

His friends started laughing, and Ronit fisted his hands. I deduced that some trouble may arise, so I excused myself and told my team leader and supervisor to look out for anything that may lead to the kids ending up fighting.

Not so surprisingly, my team was already prepared for something like that. They had managed such events before and there was always one or two fights that happened. There was nothing to worry about, so I continued my work.

During my break, I was eating a pastry and drinking milkshake when one of my female colleagues, Sarika, arrived and told me to accompany her.

"Bhoomi, there is a dance battle starting! Come on, let's go and see. You are a dancer too, right?" Sarika said.

"A dance battle? Here?" I asked in shock.

She nodded and pulled me along with her. Even though I didn't expect it, I was also excited.

We joined the crowd. One one side of the temporary stage, Ronit was standing with around three guys his age, while on his opposite side, that earlier boy whom Ronit was arguing with was confidently high-fiving with his own teammates.

A girl enthusiastically announced the start of the impromptu dance battle, and when the DJ dropped the music, all of my excitement flew away within the first round of the battle.

What the fuck are these kids doing? Have they never battled before? They are dancing as if they are forced to. Why are all of them so stiff?

"Isn't it so exciting, Bhoomi? I love to see crew battles like these. Even though I can't dance, I enjoy every fight," Sarika said. "You don't look much impressed though. You aren't liking it?"

I twisted my face. "They are kids, so I don't expect much. My break is going to end soon, so I will leave. You enjoy the show."

I had just started leaving when I suddenly halted after I heard a very familiar name from one of the dancers.

"Please stop bluffing, Ronit. I personally know that you don't deserve that spot on the team, okay?" Ronit's opponent said distastefully.

Ronit got red with anger. "TJ himself picked me up, moron. You are just jealous that I became a part of The Emperors while you got eliminated in the first round itself."

After that, both guys looked as if they would murder each other. Ronit's friends calmed him down, and finally, I remembered them seeing in Shlok's grihpooja (home ceremony). Tejas and Hriaan had brought their new trainees alongwith them that day.

I was going to leave, but I was curious about how The Emperors' new members were going to win this dance battle. I got to know that their opponents were Ronit's former dance mates, and Ronit and his friend-turned-opponent were now fighting each other.

The dance battle continued, but there was no progress. Unfortunately, Ronit's team was lagging behind. His anger was sabotaging his performance, and his frustration was showing clearly on his face. He and other guys were talented, but somehow, they were not doing well.

"We are losing, Ronit. Do something," his team members said.

"Am I dancing alone? You guys are also in The Emperors. It is my birthday, guys. I can't lose today," Ronit said.

He huffed when his opponent's teammate did an impressive routine, and even if I didn't like it, I was going to see The Emperors lose this time. I wondered how Tejas would have felt about it. Unlike Ronit's team, his opponent's team members looked well versed in dance battles.

When I was feeling sad for Ronit and his panicking team members, I noticed an intense stare on me. One of Ronit's friend was looking at me with wide eyes.

He tapped the birthday boy's shoulder and pointed in my direction. He mumbled something, and Ronit jerked his head in my direction. I felt a very weird feeling in my guts when his eyes slowly widened as his lips curled upwards on one side.

Why do I feel like these kids are going to cause trouble?

I instantly removed myself from the spot and didn't look back. The earlier stares felt more intense, and before I could get away, Ronit's friend landed in front of me.

"Help us, Boomer," he said.

Oh, man. What is it now?