Lan Xichen pulled Wuxian into a hug the moment he saw him standing outside his door. He then dragged him inside and placed a privacy barrier around The Hanshi so they could talk. Wangji, was already there with him at the table. He wanted to immediately hug Wuxian and never let him go, but he wanted answers.

"Why did you leave like that? After curfew, and only leaving a note behind?" Xichen asked him outright.

Wuxian did not answer. He didn't even speak.

"Wei Ying, please talk to us," Wangji told him.

"And why would I do that?" Wuxian snapped, "I said what my issues were already. I still feel like I am not trusted enough by you or Zewu Jun."

Xichen was taken by surprise by Wuxian's sudden attitude and even went as far as calling him Zewu Jun. It has been so long since he heard his brother-in-law call him that. He can understand Wuxian's behavior though, he had every right to feel the way he does. Even though Wuxian had his concerns and worries for the siege of Moling Su, he still went through with it. He had one moment of weakness and had an episode. Even though Xichen asked him about staying or going, Wangji took that choice away from him.

"A'Xian, I know you are upset but can you please talk to us calmly?" Xichen asked, "where did you go?"

"My grandmother's," Wuxian answered, "she wants you to bring those pages with the blueprints and arrays to her. She said she can help you."

"Okay," Xichen replied, "now, can you open up to us?"

Wuxian sighed and looked down at the table, "you guys must think I am rash, selfish, useless, weak, and untrustworthy. I get you both are concerned for my health and wellbeing, but you have to understand, I may be fearful of some things still, and I may seem like I am not okay, but I am. At least I was before this war started. Now I feel like I cannot contribute anymore. It may be because I did so much in the last one I feel less competent but I am stronger then you both may realize. I feel like no matter how many times I try to explain this to you both, you will not understand.

"I grew up with the idea that I had to do everything, be a shield, a bodyguard, and a body that seemed to be owned by someone else. I grew up fighting alone, and having to deal with everything as they come. I am not used to this kind of restraint and I do not know if I ever will be. I am always someone who wants to help, no matter the conditions and no matter how I am feeling. I may have my weak moments but it would be nice if you could give me a chance to talk and give my thoughts on things.

I need to know that I am still okay here. I need to know that I am trusted, and that you know I am capable of doing something, anything. I already know what it is like to feel powerless, weak, and vulnerable. I know what it's like to not hold a sword. I know what it's like to be stripped of everything that I worked for. What I do not know is what it is like to feel trusted, free, and secure...I was told that my family is here. How can I really know that?"

Wei Wuxian explained all that he had on his mind. Xichen and Wangji sat there and really listened to him. They are starting to see that they need to ease up on him now. They wanted to have Wuxian always remain to be his free spirit self, but how can he when he feels restricted.

Wuxian started to cry, "I am sorry I just left like that, but I felt like I needed time away. I also felt like I was just being too much of a burden again. I don't think I will ever let myself believe that I am not a burden. It is so embedded in my head at this point, and I feel like I am a mess again. I do not want to lose the relationship I have with you both, I do not want to lose anything else period, but I always lose something important to me eventually.

I lost my parents, and I had to deal with that alone. I was taken into a place I wanted to call home, but I lost that when Madam Yu told him I was never going to be in her family. I lost that home from an ambush, I saw the corpses of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. I was told it is not my fault, but I always feel like I was the reason. No matter how long it has been, I will always feel like it was my fault. I lost my cultivation because I felt I did not deserve it. I felt that I wouldn't have been a cultivator if Jiang Fengmian had not taken me in, so giving Jiang Cheng my golden core, only felt like it was the right thing. Like I built up that core just for him, just as his parents wanted.

I gained a family here at Cloud Recesses, but I feel so distant from it all the time. I am left out of things, I am deprived of my decisions. I need to know that I have not lost you both because of my rash decision to step out of the sect for a bit just to think and get some air. To get some much needed advice from my Grandmother. I am so sorry and I am so grateful for you both and on how much you have helped me, so please, just give me opportunities to make decisions even if they are bad. Tell me I am still okay here. Yell at me if you want because I deserve it, but please, do not leave me, and I will not leave you. I will suffer through whatever you have me do, I will go back to letting you take my decisions away, so just please......."

Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around himself and shrunk further into himself as he just cried. He cried like he had when he first arrived here. He cried for help, he cried for recognition, he cried and cried. Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen had no idea that all of that was sitting deep inside of Wuxian all this time. They should have known better though, because they know how well Wei Wuxian masks himself. They know how well Wei Wuxian keeps everything to himself until he reaches his limit and he breaks. Just like he broke down in front of them now.