"Are you coming to Gabe's tomorrow night?" Aries asked once Cassandra had left having taken Glenn up on his offer to drop her off after school, their lips collectively twitching at the sight. She was still going hard on that objective and would not be deterred. Neither of them in their friend group saw a happy ending in sight but kept that little observation to themselves lest they invite trouble from her.

"What's happening at Gabe's?" Nigel asked, looking every bit as clueless as he felt.

"He's holding a party," Aries said, matter-of-fact. "How do you not even know? It's all over the group chat."

"I'll pass," Nigel snorted in response.

Aries narrowed his eyes but ultimately refrained from speaking at the sight of Hayley bounding down the steps and approaching them and on account of Alfie still patiently waiting for him. "Let's talk when you return," he said, greeting Hayley with a smile before turning to drag Alfie off.

It's been days since he'd been back home. Ever since Aries called out to him to come find him, he hadn't gone back and had just been going to school from Alfie's. He wouldn't have noticed it if not but the little break away from everything that had to do with his own house was good for him.

Maybe, too good even. While some part of him missed the house, however dreary, and another part was curious how his family was doing, if his parents had even noticed his absence, nothing was so strong it made him actually want to go back to confirm.

"Hey," Hayley's cheery voice had him snapping out of his musings and smiling down at her.

"Hey."

Her cheeks burned in the way that just left her looking all the more endearing to him. "Don't you go back with Alf and Aries now?" she wondered.

"I want to go pick up my motorcycle," he explained, his eyes lighting up as a thought struck him and refused to be abolished until he voiced it no matter what. "Do you want to come along? It's just a few minutes walk from here and I can give you a ride back to yours."

Hayley stared deep into his mesmerizing eyes, obscured only by the overgrown wavy locks of brown, face tinting as she was drawn in deeper.

"No?" Nigel probed, trying not to look like he was deflating just how he was on the inside.

"No," she replied and then seemed to come out of it, shaking her head slightly to gain better clarity. He was really messing with her head now. "I mean yeah, sure." When his eyes lit up, she smiled and began following after him, clicking her tongue lightly. At this point they weren't really fooling anyone and might as well just get together already. If only she had as much resolve as she did in the alternate reality where they were already together due to her fervent, dogged chasing.

It was a short walk to his friend, Theo's mechanic shop. He hadn't been trying to merely convince her when he'd said that. The walk had been filled with talk of his motorcycle and what had spurred him into getting one in the first place.

It'd been his parents. And their never dwindling bias, of course.

"Was beginning to think you didn't want it anymore," Theo said after Nigel had settled him and he brought the bike out to him, sending a jovial smile Hayley's way after Nigel's introduction.

"Not a chance in hell," he said, getting up on his bike smoothly and turning a winsome smile on Hayley who was putting on the helmet he'd relinquished over but hardly ever wore if he was being honest. "Come on, Hayley."

Hayley blushed but accepted his outstretched hand and got up on the bike behind him. He was really her every teenage fantasy at this point. All that left to top it off was him in a leather jacket. She berated herself as she put her arms around him, her forehead falling against his back with a soft thump. At this rate, she was going to send herself nosebleeding.

"You good to go?" he asked at the stretch of silence, bidding a nod goodbye Theo's way before taking off to the streets at her soft hum that touched him all the way to his core, sending motions of vibration rocking through his body with her face pressed into his back.

Hayley tightened her hold on him as they went zipping through the streets, their proximity making her insides a warm, jumbled mess even as the strong winds whipped at their hair with every metre they covered to her house.

All good things eventually come to an end and in no time, Hayley found herself sulking as she slid off from behind him, undoing the helmet and holding it out to him.

Nigel accepted it, throat bobbing slightly as he held her gaze, debating with himself at the sight of her cheeks wind stung pink and her hair mussed up by his helmet. Giving in, he raised his hand to her hair, carding his fingers through the fluffy bleached mass when all he was met with was the minimal arc of her brow. He'd smoothened most of it when he seemed to catch up with his almost absentminded actions, stiffening and withdrawing his hands.

Hayley only smiled, her gaze brighter than he'd ever seen them. "Thanks for the ride, Nigel," she said, leaning up slightly to press a peck to his cheek before she could change her mind. Face aflame even at his dazed look, she turned around and made a beeline for her door. She'd still get him back for the hair stuff. She'd also like to know if his was as soft as it looked.

Nigel sat on his bike for a full minute, not knowing just which of the emotions rampaging through him he was to focus on. In the end, he finally settled on elation and delight before hightailing to Alfie's.

–

"What's wrong?" he asked on stepping through Alfie's door and seeing him curled up on his bed. He bolted the door behind him then grimaced at the stench of weed in his room, more pungent the further in he went.

"He won't say," Aries said, reclining in Alfie's desk chair and thumbing through one of his novels.

Nigel chanced a glance at him, frowning at the sight of him curled up, gaze vacant. "Hey," he called, going to pull open the shutters before coming to lower himself so he was seated next to him, raking his eyes over his forlorn state. He hadn't been able to tell despite his friend being much quieter than he usually was. Alfie not being Alfie was rare enough, an off day popping up for him an even rarer thing.

Red rimmed eyes met his concerned ones before Alfie's lips suddenly split into a lopsided grin. Nigel recognized that it wasn't the carefree one he usually had and did nothing to make his features any gentler but said nothing of it, shedding his blazer as he let his friend adjust so his head was curled up against his legs.

Nigel didn't ask him if he was okay, sure he wouldn't deign him a response and able to tell the answer just looking at his physical state. "You're really something," he said helplessly, watching his muddled eyes dip a fraction in his euphoria. "Not afraid of getting grounded anymore, huh?"

He grunted but neither of his friends bothered trying to decipher what that was supposed to be.

"Why don't you want to go for the party?" Aries asked, bringing Nigel's attention away from Alfie who was quietly riding out his high.

"Why do I have to tag along with you?" Nigel asked, his expression souring slightly.

"It's the first party of the session," Aries said. "I just want to loosen up. I can't do that on my own."

"Let's just stay back and buy our own booze," Nigel said. "That's much better company anyway."

Aries held his gaze for a whole moment before dropping it to Alfie who was as out of it as he ever was. There was never any telling how long it lasted when Alfie got pulled into one of his moods so counting on him to drink or do anything was stretching it, really.

"We can't do that then," Nigel said with a grimace. "Just go with Cassie. I'll rather stay in."

"She'll be going with Hayley. It won't be fun tagging along with them and we can meet up there," Aries huffed, hardly taking cognizance of the fact that most of his words had already been lost upon Nigel.

"Hayley's going?" he asked.

Aries shot him a bland look. "You've got to be kidding me," he scowled. In the end, he didn't care what methods were employed so long as it achieved his desired result. "She said she was. Shot her a text earlier." He'd only wanted to ask. She hadn't wanted to party either but had changed her mind in the blink of an eye as soon as he mentioned Nigel was going to be there. It'd only meant to be his back up plan but these damn idiots. . .

"Sure, I'll go with you," was the most Nigel could get out coherently, blood pumping even harder on remembering the fleeting brush of her lips against the skin of his cheek.

"You're hopeless," Aries said, expression one of distaste. "Both of you."

"Thanks?"

Aries didn't even want to bother with him. At least he'd gotten what he wanted.

There was a quiet mumble from beneath Nigel and he lowered his gaze, lip twitching at the sight of Alfie struggling to form a coherent sentence. "Just fucking sleep it off," he snorted, slapping a hand over his friend's mouth. He grumbled something before loosing himself in his slowly but gradually receding intoxication.

Aries went back to languidly thumbing through the novel he'd put aside to properly convince Nigel while the latter picked out his constantly vibrating cell phone from his bag, lips pursing at the sight of his messages.

He'd been away from home for almost a week now and Saxon hadn't stopped dropping into his messages to check in on him. If his own emotions weren't strangling him enough, then he replied. If not, he left it for whenever. Sighing, he opened the most recent one.

Sax🎭
Hey. You coming back anytime soon?
Received. 17: 39pm

–N–
Depends. What do you want?
Received. 17: 40pm

Nigel felt his frown deepening when he found himself waiting nearly an eternity for the bouncing ellipses playing peek-a-boo with him.

Sax🎭
Just wondering. Did you leave because of mom and dad?
Received. 17: 51pm

Nigel wouldn't give them that much credit. He, however, couldn't deny that they were part of the reason that stopped him from returning. He'd just begun punching in a reply when another message entered.

Sax🎭
They're leaving soon. Business convention and all. They'll be gone for two weeks.
Received. 17: 53pm

His jaw clenched, fingers frozen over his keypad, as he tried to decide what exactly it was that made him so incensed. The fact that he couldn't even peacefully live in his own house unless his parents were absent or the fact that his twin just innocently threw that out there, unaware of how deep that cut?

He stiffened when his cell started ringing in his hand, earning a glance over the top of the book from Aries and a disgruntled grunt from Alfie who shifted in a bid to try to avoid the piercing ringing.

"Saxon," he called dryly.

"You weren't saying anything," he explained, as though he was able to hear the multitude of questions in Nigel's own tone and how he'd rather not do this over a call.

"I would've if you so much as patiently waited a damn minute," he said, pursing his lips when Alfie shifted uncomfortably, probably finding his voice even more piercing in his haze. He clicked his tongue, making a conscious effort to lower his voice some.

There was a slight pause as though that was the last thing he'd been expecting and didn't even know what to say to that. "What's your deal, really?" he finally posed. "Are you just picking a bone with mom and dad or do I also have something to do with all this as well?"

Nigel had asked himself that same question more times than he cared to admit. His parents didn't care for him because there was their perfect Saxon they could fawn over. He'd felt it exceedingly petty to blame his twin for something that he had no say in but there was really no helping that.

"I find you just as insufferable," he confessed. He hated that no one knew when he wasn't even there, when something was wrong with him or when he needed just one of them. He hated that they were too busy doting on Saxon, overwhelming him with love and showering him with their neverending affection to notice that he needed them too and would be content with just as much as a fraction of that concern.

He hated that his stupid twin acted as though he didn't see it all because that was the only way not to make things awkward for him and his parents. He hated how no one took his own emotions into consideration and that there was no logical reason for his parents to not want anything to do with him as much as they did.

He hated it all.

His dad had never treated him as someone who breathed the same air as him and his mom, who used to at least accept his greetings, no matter how lackluster, had reverted to ignoring him far more piercingly than his dad ever had and all because he'd stood up to her at the hospital.

But he didn't regret it. At least this treatment couldn't be any clearer a truth from the false reality that he'd created for himself.

"I'm not coming back," he finally said, loathing the stretch of silence that filled the lines.

"Alright."

There wasn't much else either could say so Nigel just cut the call, gaze heavy.

"Nigel," Aries' tone was light, probing, willing to take as much as he wanted to relinquish.

"It's fine," Nigel's gaze was burning and he didn't trust himself to say any more without completely breaking down. "I'm fine."

–

been a while, life's a dump ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ