>>>because people you know hits different for Nigel and Aries>>>

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Things were stifling to say the least and it was all anyone at school could talk about for a while, both on and off the school forum. After all, one was the captain and the other the co-captain of the school's basketball team, each as popular in their own right and with a friendship that could only be described as untouchable with time.

Those who knew them well enough knew they'd been close far longer since even elementary school and though they'd had their fair share of misunderstandings in between, it had never come close to this where others felt awkward even for them. The main problem being that their lives were too intertwined.

First off, they were registered seatmates so that much contact was unavoidable, much less in regards to most of their lab tests where they'd partnered up. Then there was the fact that they shared the same lunch table with their same circle of friends in the cafeteria. Of course, at least in this case, they could still get away with not having to interact with each other.

It was traumatizing to look at them on the basketball court so much so their coach had to set them apart for a good chewing out before he benched them once and for all unless they decided to get their act together. The practice people hardly had time to watch was suddenly packed by busybody's for the sake of getting the drama firsthand.

Nigel just wanted the day over as quickly as possible. A single look at anybody's face was enough to annoy him, talk less of Aries who'd been stealing sidelong glances at him for many days on end since after they'd parted at the police station without any further exchange. Only Hayley, whose every action was endearing, could never come across as annoying. She was angelic inside and out and the only reason he could even get through school days now.

It'd been three days since the day he'd been at the station because of Aries- some friend who wouldn't even so much as apologize for the shit he'd caused, albeit some he wasn't in the know about- and it was the first since he'd gotten together with Hayley that they couldn't go back together from school. Practice ran late and she had to leave early for her shift so he just decided to get back as quickly as possible and sleep himself to oblivion.

Of course, he couldn't even do that in peace.

"Nigel," Aries was the one to stop him before he could leave. They were the last ones in the changing room since they'd been punished with laps for the ineptitude they'd displayed in practice that was still very much unlike them.

He paused, but didn't reply, just staring at him. He looked gaunt, his side profile shockingly pale and thin. He also had dark circles; Aries never had dark circles and Nigel had to bite his tongue to stop himself from voicing his concern. All that had gotten him was a near detention at the station that spiraled down a list of problems he didn't even want to have to remember. So he'd learnt his lesson. Showing this one concern never boded well for him, especially since the person in question didn't care for himself in the first place.

"What's the matter?" he prompted when he couldn't stand it any longer, especially not the sight of him worrying his lip with his teeth, fiddling with his fingers and just all-round fidgeting.

"I just wanted to apologize," he said, finally pulling up his gaze so they were eye level.

"Took you long enough," Nigel muttered and made to brush past him.

"I'm sorry," he said and as though feeling it not enough since no apology he could give would feel proper enough, added on, "I'm really sorry, Nigel."

Nigel was sorry too. For himself, of course. And that he'd bothered so much with him in the first place. At the very least where it concerned his father, Aries was long doomed a lost cause.

"That's it, right?" he asked, feet poised to step around him. "Then I'm leaving."

Aries got in his face before he could do as planned. "I'm really really sorry," he said and from the sheen slowly forming in his eyes, Nigel believed him. That didn't mean he felt any better about it though. "I just- I got really scared."

Nigel understood why he was even if he only saw it as a cause for celebration. Admitting to his father abusing him would set apart everything he'd endured for now but better late than never and better his father got looked into and hopefully sentenced than he lost his friend first. Of course as one of the few things keeping Aries sane, he knew he would for no reason want to destroy with his own hands his final expectation for kinship, no matter the cost to others.

"You think I wasn't?" Nigel said, chest tightening with anger he had to force back. He didn't see the point in repeating the same things that were sure to fall on the same set of deaf eyes. "Just forget it. I've heard what you have to say but I really don't care for it."

He felt every bone in his body tensing when the other just got in his way again, preventing him from leaving.

"I regret it," he was muttering. "I really didn't want to. But-"

"Don't complete it," Nigel snapped, hating his friend's father but hating him even more for enduring when he flinched back slightly, lips pursing even as he refused to step back. "Get out of my way."

Sorry? He was sorry too.

Regret? He couldn't feel more of it at his own actions if he tried.

"I'm sorry."

Nigel hated him even more. Because all he could hear was his twin's own repeated apologies over and over again like a broken record. How he'd always felt any apology he gave was insincere and just so he could throw the matter behind them and how, that night, he knew he could never delude himself into thinking Saxon wasn't being sincere when he'd also broken down in front of him.

He'd gotten him out of trouble. Again. Nigel wasn't sure he'd have gotten out in one piece that night if it weren't for him. And his 'thank you' was having him know how much he loathed him and wished he were dead. He felt all of that and more but his twin did try for him and he knew that was the worst time to throw that in his face.

"So?" he couldn't help but ask. "What do you want me to say? Or do? Forgive you? What do you think this is?"

"You don't have to," Aries was self-aware enough to know he really didn't deserve it.

"No?" Nigel sneered. "Then stop shoving it in my face."

"Okay," Aries whispered.

"Get out of my way."

"I-"

If Nigel was asked where everything had originated, then it was the person in front of him. He still attributed a little part of it to him and being overly concerned about Aries, but the latter was still the sole problem.

He'd never have been falsely accused and ended up having to call for help to post bail if it weren't for trying to help him. His parents- well, his mother- wouldn't have gotten any more ammunition against him since he always tried to steer clear of anything that could raise her prejudice. His twin wouldn't be on the receiving end of all his pent-up emotions and he wouldn't be blaming himself anymore than he already was.

Afterwards, I just wished you'd died in that orphanage fire.

How much hate was needed to say words like that? It couldn't just be their one-sided bias.

Hate enough to wish he was long dead? That wasn't very plausible.

More like there really was something wrong with him.

Anyway, Aries was the cause.

The series of problems that had followed, were the effect.

He shoved past him when he wouldn't but didn't get very far at the sickening thud he heard against the metal lockers. He turned on his feet, lips pursing at the sight of the expression that flitted across his face before he had the chance to cover it up. Thin grimace fading after he'd slumped against the lockers, he'd honestly never seen him look so lost before.

Words of apology hovered on the tip of his tongue but he forcefully swallowed them back.

"Take care of yourself, Ari," he said, sighing. "I can't do it any better than you would."

Of course, when he thought himself finally able to go home to crash, he was still stopped. "Fancy seeing you here," Alfie greeted cheerily when he'd rounded the corner of the halls and Nigel didn't even try to hide his grimace.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Skipping detention," he said, yawning, like it wasn't already obvious with him tearing for the exit with a good half-hour to go. "You won't even ask me what I did?"

It was Alfie. What didn't he do to piss off the entire body of teachers?

"Let's go for a drink then," he said, hanging his lazy body on his friend's side. "Where's Aries?"

Nigel didn't respond and just started pulling his form along to the entrance. "How do you have time to drink?" he wondered. "Wasn't aunt watching over you 24/7?"

"That's why I aimed for detention," he snorted, smiling to himself. "Smart, right?"

Not really, no.

Ever since he'd ran off for three days with the talk of rehab over his head, his mom hadn't brought it up again lest she lose her son in the process. Instead, she'd turn into a guard dog for her son. Despite her strenuous job as a judge, she made time to now take her son to and from school every day, cutting off all his routes to grab a drink or even deal. Weekends were even worse for his friend since she turned down all her work and basically lingered in his immediate sphere.

It seemed to be working. He hadn't really had a drop of alcohol or seen any substance to fall back on especially with her pinning many teachers and their dogged principal on his back. If he knew what the woman was thinking even with his friend's sudden brilliant idea- not very, actually- of aiming for detention to get some time to himself then it was that she was probably waiting just outside for them.

"Aunt Winnie," he greeted with a hug and smile since true to his thoughts, she was waiting in the lot for them.

"What the hell, mom?" Alfie said, words popping out through gritted teeth. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Sure, I don't," Nigel snorted, amused, when she smacked him upside the head. "I take it detention let out early?"

Alfie pursed his lips speechlessly at the knowing look on her face and the sneer that accompanied her words before stomping around the car to get in.

Nigel exchanged a look with her before getting in with them as well, thanking her and waving his still scowling friend off when they dropped him first before turning to theirs just the next street over. Adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder, he got in and paused at the sight of his twin descending the stairs, snacking on wafers as he flipped through a magazine.

He glanced up at the sound of the front door shutting before quietly retreating up the stairs and locking himself in his room.

Nigel felt his lip twitch but didn't try bothering him and just went to his. Too many instances had taken place like this these past few days since his outburst and he didn't know what to say in regards to him tiptoeing around his existence and just pushed it away to revisit later, changing the water in his vase of carnations as religiously as ever and promptly slumping in bed.