We were both silent on the way home that day, kahit no'ng bumaba ng sasakyan niya ay wala akong sinabi ni isang salita.

When I went inside my room ay doon lang tumulong muli ang mga luha ko.

I didn't know it would hurt that bad. Akala ko ay wala nang mas ikasasakit sa pagtrato ng pamilya ko sa akin, pero meron pa pala.

Alaric's my karma, too.

Ang dami kong sinaktan noon at ngayong nasaktan na ako ay saka ko lang napagtanto kung gaano ka sama ang manakit ng damdamin ng iba.

I skipped my morning class that day, dahil sumama ang pakiramdam ko. Maybe it's because of the hangover that I kept on throwing up.

Hapon na no'ng makapasok ako and when I arrived at our building ay agad kong nakita si AJ. He waved to me and smiled. Ngumiti rin ako at nilapitan siya.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Okay lang, I'm just kind of not feeling well earlier kaya I skipped my first class. How about you?"

"Fine...now." He smiled. "Do you want to go out and eat later?"         

Napatitig ako sa kanya, remembering what Alaric told me during the morning. He hates his brother kahit wala itong ginagawang masama sa kanya. Pero hindi ba't mali rin na wala kang ginagawa kahit na nakikita mo nang naaagrabiyado ang iba?

I don't want to hate AJ but I could somehow see Rachel on him, remembering what I've been through. And I know that what I am planning to do is not right but I still want to do it.

May gusto lang akong malaman.

Ngumiti ako at tumango sa kanya. "Sure, see you."

He smiled at me shyly after that at ako naman ay dumiretso na sa building. Pagkapasok sa room ay agad akong pinaulanan ng panunukso ng mga kaklase ko.

"Grabe ha, no'ng nakaraan 'yong kapatid tapos ngayon 'yong kuya na naman."

I rolled my eyes. "Bawal na makipagkaibigan?"

"E d'yan na nagsisimula 'yan e. Friends. Ayieee. Made for a Manjarrez ka nga talaga."

I just shrugged my shoulders and walked past them. Bahala sila riyan. Nakakatamad pansinin, hindi naman nila paniniwalaan ang sasabihin ko.

I sighed when I finally sat on my chair. A lot of questions were running inside my mind, marami akong gusto itanong kay AJ but I just had to choose the ones that weren't obvious.

Halos buong klase kong inisip iyon. And for the first time, I didn't become that provoked kahit na ilang beses sinubukan ni Aranjuez ang mga opinion ko.

"So this is what love does to you?" He asked after class. Hindi ko pa sure kung ako nga talaga ang kinakausap dahil nasa malayo ang tingin niya ngunit tingin ko naman ay ako 'yon.

"At least I don't support murderers," pasaring ko, remembering some of our heated arguments.

"So you're not denying that you're in love?" He asked again, not even flinching because of what I just said.

"I'm not required to affirm or deny that claim, kaya bakit?" I smirked as I picked my bag. "Mind your own business, Aranjuez. Hindi naman kita pinapakialaman, kaya huwag kang tsismoso." Diretso kong sabi bago lumabas ng room.

"Babagal-bagal, may date ka pa oh!" Agatha smirked and pointed to AJ who's now waiting in front of our building.

"Sana all talaga." Kyla added and pinched my arm.

I rolled my eyes secretly at sandaling sinakyan nalang ang pang-aasar nila bago lumabas ng building. When AJ saw me ay agad akong kumaway siya at gano'n din siya sa akin.

Sabay na kaming naglakad papuntang sakayan and when ended up at the Sunken Garden, eating street foods.

"So, how's class?" He asked while eating.

Ngumiti ako. "Okay naman, it's pretty chill today."

"That's good."

I smiled as I looked at the fishball and kwek-kwek we're eating. "I didn't expect na mahilig ka sa ganito."

"Ah, 'yan ba? Hindi naman talaga ako mahilig. Si Ashtine ang mahilig, lagi kasing tumatakas 'yon dati sa bahay e. One day I got curious and followed him, and there, I saw him eating streetfoods. Pinagbabawalan kasi kami noon e pero makulit kapatid ko."

Napangiti naman ako dahil sa narinig. Loko talaga 'yon.

"Hindi ba kayo close na dalawa?" I asked as I took a bite.

AJ sighed. "Never kaming naging close because we grew up separately. He's always with lolo back then at ako ay kasama ang parents namin. Nagkaroon kasi ng postpartum depression ang mom ko after manganak sa kanya kaya medyo malayo ang loob niya kay Ashtine."

Napatigil ako sa pagkain. Grabe, I didn't even anticipate na may gano'n pala. It must be really hard.

"Hindi ko rin siya masisi kung galit siya sa akin, karapatan naman niyang magalit e. Kasi ako ang kuya pero wala akong nagagawa para sa kanya." Aniya at itinigil ang pagkain, tila nawalan na ng gana.

I kind of feel guilty pero dahil ito rin naman ang pakay ko ay nilubos ko na.

"Bakit nga ba wala kang ginagawa?"

Bumuntong-hininga siya. "Mas lalo lang lalala ang lahat. Kapag sinuway ko ang mga magulang ko ay si Ashtine pa rin ang sisisihin nila. Kaya mas pinili ko nalang na ayusin ang buhay ko para ako nalang ang makita nila't wala na silang masabi, and just let Ashtine live the life that he wants."

I bit my lip.

"Pero paano kung kailangan niya ng pamilyang masasandalan sa tuwing nasasaktan siya? I understand your point, AJ. Pero sayang lang. You have the choice to be a part of him but you let that chance go. And now, he always feels alone." 

AJ gave me a sad smile. "Tama ka, ang tanga ko sa parteng iyon. Gusto ko ngang bumawi e, pero mukhang huli na ang lahat."

I sighed. "I guess hindi pa naman."

"I'm actually glad that he met you, Klio. I know that your first meeting wasn't good. Alam ko rin kung ano ang gusto niyang gawin noon."

My eyes widened a fraction. He knew about that yet he allowed that to happen?

"I know he's trying to make me see that he can take you away."

My brows furrowed. "Why would he like to take me away? It's not like I'm your possession."

Pagkatapos sabihin 'yon ay muling nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa ideyang pumasok sa isip ko.

Umiling siya at nahihiyang tiningnan ako sa mga mata. "I've always admired you ever since last year, wala akong pinagsabihan, but I guess my brother's really observant when it comes to me. Kalaunan ay nalaman niya rin kung sino ang babaeng gusto ko."                                                     

Tila hindi ko maabsorb ang narinig. AJ Manjarrez just confessed. My crush has a crush on me, too!

Pero bakit iba pa rin ang tuwa na nararamdaman ko ngayon sa naramdaman ko no'ng sinabi ni Alaric na gusto niya ako?

I sighed and shook my head.

Damn, I'm really smitten I guess.

"Thank you for admiring me, AJ. I actually also have a confession to make..." I smiled. "Crush kita. I've always wanted to make you mine, pero..." I paused and tried to find the right words to say pero mukhang alam na niya ang sagot.

"You like my brother. Despite his flaws, you still like him." He smiled. "Masakit, pero masaya ako. Because finally, he found someone who can love him back despite his imperfections. And it's a great woman like you."

Kumikislap ang mga mata niya nang tumingin muli sa akin. I kind of feel sad but I couldn't deny that his words were able to lift my mood.

"T-Thank you." I uttered.

He smiled and held my hand. "Alam kong gago ang kapatid ko but I know when he is serious or not, at sa nakikita ko ngayon...he's dead serious about you, Klio. And I hope that whatever you're feeling for him stays despite his shortcomings." He said while looking at my eyes.

"A-AJ..." I uttered and for a second, I had the urge to tear up.

"I'm sorry, Klio. I know it's too much to ask, pero gusto talaga kita para sa kapatid ko. Panatag ako kung ikaw ang mamahalin niya." He added and squeezed my hand lightly.

I gave him a smile. "T-Thank you, AJ."

AJ took me home that afternoon and when I got home, I was immediately attacked by a feeling of emptiness. I don't know why, it's just that...I seem to look for a specific warmth.

I'm missing Alaric.

I took my phone out of my pocket and as a scrolled through the gallery ay mas lalong sumidhi ang pangungulila ko. I realized that I couldn't let days pass without seeing him beside me...without fixing what's between the two of us.

I want to see him and tell him what I feel about him.

Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan at nagmamadali isinuot ang sapatos. I want to go to him. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan siya but I'll look for him.

I opened the door of my unit but to my surprise, I saw my father in front of me.

The dreadful day I've been avoiding came... my freedom has finally come to an end.