Am I alive?

Although I feel alive and somewhat awake, I can't quite open my eyes.

Not yet anyway.

I could faintly hear the noise of people talking around me, but I couldn't open my eyes to see who's faces matched the voices.

"She's been out so long, do you think she'll wake up?" I heard a voice say next to me, the voice sounded faintly like Taehyung's.

Taehyung.

I hadn't seen him since the night that I met with Lee, the night that he practically threw Taehyung's weak and limp body at me. As I watched Taehyung being rode away on Darins back, Jimin by his side, I thought things were going to be okay. But they turned out to be anything but that.

My world crashed and burned before my eyes as I watched Namjoon get stabbed. As I watched the life drain out of his body and loose him completely.

The last thing I remember from that night was the draining of my energy, and putting it all into him. Every last bit until I couldn't physically carry on.

The one beat I heard before everything went black completely.

I don't know whether that beat was a figure of my imagination.

Whether it could have been the sound of my own slow heart beat.

I wouldn't know unless I woke up, and at this point I wasn't sure if I was going to. I didn't know if I was in a dream or not.

"She's strong, she can't just give up now. Not after all that happened. She has so much to see" another voice spoke reassuringly, the voice sounded higher. It sounded similar to Jin's voice.

"I know she is, but we don't know if she put her whole life into it" Taehyung replied, his voice sounded sad.

I had to wake up.

I used every ounce of energy my unconscious self had to try and to wake myself back up. I was screaming and flaying in my mind, but I didn't know if it was showing on the outside.

I had only been aware of my consciousness inside my body for a moment, but I hated it already. I needed to get out.

I needed to see what had happened since everything went black. How long I'd been out for, and who else had been hurt.

It wasn't just about me.

I felt like I was trapped in a box within my own body. Being closed in, kicking and screaming to expand the space the most that I could.

"Did her hand just move?" I heard Taehyung asked in amazement.

Did it?

If so, I better keep at this mental fight I was having with my physical self.

I was not prepared to stay asleep. I had to wake up. I just had to, no matter the consequences.

"Alexa? Jin get the others now!" Taehyung demanded. I could suddenly feel the sensation of someone holding my hand.

"Alexa. I don't know if you can hear me, but it's your brother. If you can hear me, please wake up. I miss talking to you. Everyone does" he spoke softly, I could feel my heart break slightly. I wanted to give him a hug and to tell him that everything is going to be okay.

But the last time I did that, everything didn't end up being okay.

I began to see slight light as my eyes opened slowly. Blinking fast as they tried to adjust to the light. Well I say light, it wasn't light, it just wasn't pitch black like I seemed to have been used to for however long I'd been out for.

As my eyes adjusted, I looked in front to see a very smiley Taehyung sat in front of me. He looked like he was about to explode with excitement.

"Alexa! You woke up!" he shouted, and threw his arms around me. I laughed and wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him, although I felt weak. As I hugged him I shut my eyes and felt a small tear escape them.

"You're better" I commented. He didn't look beaten up and bruised any more. He looked well.

"I've had a lot of time to recover" he laughed as he pulled out of the embrace and sat back down next to me. I hadn't taken my eyes of him, it felt so strange to see him look so well all of a sudden. Especially when the last time I saw him, he had been beaten within an inch of his life.

"A lot of time? How long have I been out for." I asked, and then began to notice my surroundings. I was somewhere completely different, somewhere I'd never been before.

"3 weeks" Taehyung said quietly, almost pulling it along as he spoke. I could feel my eyes widen as I moved into a more seated position.

"3 weeks? Why was I out that long?" I asked. I had a feeling I knew why, but I needed to know. It would tell me what I really wanted to know, whether Namjoon made it or not.

I watched as Taehyung thought about how to answer. He seemed in some way confused as to how to answer.

"Tae, did namj-" I began to ask another question, since he seemed to be having so much trouble with that one. But I was interrupted by the door opening.

I stopped what I was saying, and looked towards the door, waiting to see who would come in.

As soon as I saw his face. I ripped the cover off of me and used the little energy I had to run at them.

I didn't care that I had no shoes on and one of those crappy hospital outfits on.

I didn't care if I was imagining this.

He was there and I had to get to him, no matter what.

I jumped up at him as I threw my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist. As he wrapped his arms around my body I nuzzled my face into the small of his neck.

He was real.

He was alive and I was in his arms.

"You're alive" I mumbled into him, as I took in the minty scent he always had. I felt my eyes tearing up as I held onto him.

"I am" he replied and squeezed me lightly. I began to sob lightly into the small of his neck.

"Hey, what are you crying for? Look at me." he said as he noticed my sobbing.

I moved my face away from the small of his neck. Apart of me didn't want to look at him, I didn't want to see his face. I was afraid of the thought of being taken away from him the moment I got to fully see him.

Something inside of me was convinced this was a dream, that as soon as I'd see his face, everything would disappear. I'd wake up with my head on his chest, where he had never woke up and really was fully gone.

Although I had raised my head so that he could see my face, I wouldn't look at him. I averted my eyes elsewhere, although I could feel his eyes on me. Waiting for me to look at him.

"You can't avoid looking at me forever" Namjoon teased and moved down to try and get into my eye line.

"I don't want to look at you" I admitted and wiped my eyes. I was still wrapped around him completely as I looked away.

"Why not?" he asked, and chuckled slightly.

"Because if I look at you, I just know that you will disappear again and this will have been all in my head to try and make me deal with loosing you." I admitted, wiping my eyes again as the tears continued to roll down my cheeks.

Instead of saying anything, Namjoon just pulled me into him tighter and laid my head to rest against his chest. I listened carefully and heard the slow beats of his heart, the sound that I needed to hear. 

"Alexa, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be alive" he softly spoke.

I dropped my legs down, making my feet land on the floor. I looked down as the floor to my baby blue hospital trousers. I held his hands and didn't say a word. He let go of one of my hands and placed it under my chin.

He tilted my head up, making me look up to see him. My eyes slowly trailed up his face scanning over his plump lips. They were perfectly healed, not swollen and cut like I remember. His skin was smooth, no graze or bruise to show what had happened to him. 

As I continued to trail, I stopped just before the eyes. They were what made everything seem so real, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to have that possibly ripped away from me. 

I took a quick breath before I moved my eyes up, meeting his. They were the beautiful smokey grey that I saw the first time I laid eyes on him. They were smiling at me, as he flashed his wide smile and deep dimples. 

"You don't realise how much I missed you while you've been out" he said whilst beaming down at me.

"You don't realise how much I missed you when I thought I had lost you" I replied and smiled up at him.

He was real, and I was not going to let him leave me like he did last time.

I noticed the door began to open again, Jimin's head poked around the door to see what was going on before seeing me standing there and nearly started screaming. I noticed everyone else run into the room also, and felt myself being engulfed into a giant group hug.

"You finally woke up!" Jimin shouted in excitement. I couldn't help but laugh, I felt as though i'd been gone for a few minutes.

Once everyone let go of me, I felt myself being pulled into a separate hug. One that I don't think i'd ever actually had before. Not one to one anyway, so I was thrown off.

"Thank you for everything you did that night, bringing Namjoon back and getting the revenge on Lee that we'd been wanting for ages. I can never thank you enough" Jungkook said to me as he squeezed me in the hug. A huge smile escaped my lips as I hugged him back.

"You don't think I would have let him go would you? Not after everything he's done to us all. You don't have to thank me, it was what I had to do" I replied and pulled out of the hug and smiled once again to him.

"Now, can someone please explain to me where the bloody hell we are, because I know for damn sure that this is not Crescent Moon" I laughed as I went and sat back on the bed that I woke up in, Tae was still sat in the chair beside it as everyone moved around.

"You're in the castle" Taehyung beamed beside me.

The castle? I'd only dreamt of what it would be like once I finally got here, yet I have woke up inside of it. I suppose it made sense, they planned on going there before everything happened, but wouldn't it have made more sense to wait until I had woke up?

"Mum's still at Crescent Moon, she took charge once news of George's death got there. She visits every evening so you just missed her." he explained and smiled lightly. I had forgotten about Georges death, I hope i'll be able to give my condolences to his family soon.

"Why did you bring me here? Surely it would have been safer to stay at Crescent Moon" I asked and looked at them all.

"Once we brought you back and got you into a stable condition, me, Jungkook, J-hope, Jace, Mason and Elizabeth went to the castle to see what condition it was in. No one had been here or seen it in 180 years, but it was fine. We thought it was a better idea for us to move out to here, so that there was a less likely chance of people finding you here while you were in this state. Also, we got to bring what was needed in for you for when you did wake up." Jin explained, I nodded as he spoke. I wanted to explore.

"I think we should go and make sure everything looks okay and is sorted whilst Namjoon shows her around." Yoongi said and signalled for everyone to leave.

I smiled to everyone as the left, saying their small goodbyes and see you laters, waiting until I was alone with Namjoon again.

Once everyone had left, I looked over to Namjoon to who was smiling at me.  His eyebrow raised as he looked at me, signalling for me to move towards him. His eyes were still the smokey grey colour that I fell inlove with.

I made my way over to him until we were so close that our bodies almost touched. Almost. I looked up at him as he looked down to me, he had the beautiful grin still upon his face smiling at me.

He leant down, wrapping his arms around my waist as he brought me into him. His lips brushed against mine gently before he connected them fully.

The kiss wasn't full on and almost desperate for one another like they sometimes had been before. But it was more tender and loving, full of love and a desire to be with one another.

As I pulled away, I quickly moved back in, giving him one last peck.

"Come on, you're meant to be showing me around. Plus I want to get out of these" I laughed, whilst looking down to the clothes I was wearing.

"You're lucky I brought all your stuff here" Namjoon chuckled before placing my hand in his and walking us out of the door.

It wasn't very long to our room, but from what I could see, it was huge. Although the building still had an older look to it, it felt homely, somewhere that I wouldn't mind living, and that I could have seen myself growing up here.

It was vast, corridors were all over, leading to different rooms that I'd one day adventure to see. We came up to a long corridor, which had no doors apart from the one at the end.

Namjoon was ahead of me, but I stayed closely behind him. Holding onto his hand, as I followed behind, not wanting to let go. Although 99% of me knew he was alive and with me, 1% of me still wouldn't let me let go of him just incase.

As he opened the door, I was welcomed to the view of a grand bed. With silky material covering it, making me want to jump straight into it.

The room was massive, with a large mirror on one wall, a desk against another. There was a door that seemingly lead into a walk-in wardrobe. Another door was opposite, I assume that was the bathroom.

"We've had to change some things around, because of the state they were left in. But everything that was left of your mother's were brought into one of the rooms on the other side of the castle." Namjoon explained as he sat down onto the bed.

I nodded, that was somewhere that I would definitely be heading to look for later on. I let go of his hand finally and headed towards the wardrobe. Which was also massive, with space for multiple people to be inside. I'd imagine that was due to the maids helping the Queen with her outfits.

There was so much room, yet so little clothes inside of it. It made me smile though, it made me feel as if I would have some sort of mission to fit mine and Namjoons clothes in here. I saw a pair of leggings and a t-shirt and hoodie and began to change into the clothes.

"I believe we are going to have to go on a shopping trip at some point" I laughed as I pulled the hoodie over my head whilst walking back into the main bedroom.

I threw myself backwards onto the bed in laughter as I was submerged in silk. Namjoon leaned back joining me so that our heads barely touched.

"I think you should explain to me what happened once you woke up" I finally said, if I'm honest, I was dying to know.

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(A/N: I feel like I've been such a troll about whether or not either of them are dead or not.... Which I apologise for, but I can't help it.

I just wanted to let you know, the updates for this are going to be really slow from now on due to me doing my GCSEs in a months time, so for two months my updates will be slow for everything. However, I will try to write chapters in my spare time and before I return back to school so that you have something!

Also, I realise that this is especially annoying considering the end of the story is coming to an end really soon... Which makes me sad, but it was going to happen sooner or later.

I hope you are able to understand why I won't be able to update as much, but I'll try my hardest when I can!

Also! Thank you so much for over 3k, that honestly blows my mind... I didnt think this would get that many reads, so it means a hell of a lot that it had managed that. Thank you so much for everything!! ❤️)