'To Alexa,  for your 180th birthday'

I kept reading the writing over and over again. I didn't know if I wanted to open it. It scared me slightly,  what if I hadn't met her expectations and what if she wanted me to do something I don't.

"What is it?" Namjoon asked as I stared down at the letter. I walked back over to the bed and sat down next to him.

"It's a letter from my real mum,  the Queen" I said quietly and gulped. It looked so official,  so elegant. On the back there was a stamp of the moon on it.

"Are you going to open it?" he asked and placed his hand on the small of my back and rubbed slightly.

"I guess,  I'm just worried" I said as I stared at the stamp on the back,  looking at the little bits of details shown in it. You could see parts of clouds and some stars around the moon.

"Why?" he asked,  continuing rubbing the small of my back.

"I've never met her,  well not really and I don't know what she wants of me,  or if she even does. I don't want to read it and realise I am some sort of disappointment" I admitted and smiled sadly at him. He smiled back sympathetically.

"You'll never know unless you look" he said and smiled to me. He was right,  there was no point in me worrying over something I hadn't even seen before. I gently opened the back of the letter, not wanting to rip it incase I wanted to keep the letter. I pulled the letter out of the envelope and noticed the elegant writing all down the paper. I smiled at Namjoon before looking down to read the letter.

'Dear Alexa, 
I hope you are reading this on your 180th or at least some time around it. I wanted you to have this for your special day because I know I won't be there to celebrate with you. But I want you to know that even if I am not there physically,  I am still there somewhere. I don't know exactly where yet, but I know I will be.

Whilst writing this,  you are laid in your crib next to me. You are only hours old but you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I know you will continue to be the most beautiful young lady the world has ever seen.

180 is a big birthday for anyone,  but especially you. Since I am not there with you,  I thought it was best I'd give you my advice as you turn that age. I'm sorry if my advice is a bit outdated,  but I can't exactly help that. However,  the changes that you are going to experience are going to be the same as every other queen before you.

Turning 180 is a big deal,  because everything that you experienced before is nothing to what you will start being able to do. I remember the first change for me was being able to control when my eyes turned purple. Obviously during the full moon they would turn purple without me being able to control them,  but that's what the moon does naturally. You are at your prime,  so you are going to become so much stronger,  day by day. People will start to respect you,  not all but some. I can't name all the things that you will obtain,  because honestly I don't know them all. Every queen is enabled different abilities and its up to them whether they use them for good or for bad.

No matter what change happens for you,  I will be there for you and I'd imagine others will too. If Maria did what I ask, by looking after you and raising you as her own,  then I know she will be there for you like she was for me all this time. I hope you have had a good time being young because those years are always the best and have the most fun in them.

I know being potentially queen is scary,  terrifying even,  but when and if you are ready to take the throne,  I know that you will do what is right for everyone and protect the innocent. I don't know whether Quarter Moon is still around,  but if they are,  you cannot let them take over as much as possible. They will kill innocent and turn this already crazy world into something dark and horrible and it's not meant to be like that.

The day I realised that I was pregnant,  I cried. Not because I was sad,  but because I was overjoyed. I'd always dreamt of having a little girl and raising her to be the princess that I wanted. But I realise,  raising you to be what I want wouldn't necessarily be the way,  because I might do it wrong. You may become someone completely different to me,  and that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart so much to know that I only have hours,  maybe not even that left with you and I want years,  hundreds of years but I know I can't have that. I will love you forever,  no matter what.

Another thing that I wanted to cover was bonding. I don't know whether you have found your bond or not. But either way,  it seems scary at first,  it seems all too sudden and not right and like you want to fight it. You can't fight it,  no matter what. Even if you are scared about it,  it's okay to be scared because it is scary. But at the same time,  it is the most wonderful thing to have,  because,  you know that the person you have bonded with will be their for you no matter what, and you will do the same for you. I hope that whoever you bond with is good to you and supports you through everything. When I met your father, he wasn't like anyone else I had ever met. He was kind and considerate. I felt like I had to hide him away because I knew people wouldn't agree with us,  but they would never understand.

Your father was a bakers boy that I met one day when going into the market during the night time. Although he was a vampire,  people didn't think it was okay for royalty to be with someone who didn't have a high status like us. Once I met him,  I knew I would have to meet him again and snuck out to see him whenever I could. I knew that people would think it is wrong, but you can't ignore the bond and I couldn't stay away even when I tried. At the end of the day,  as long as the person you bond with is good to you and loves you more than anything that is what matters,  not what others think. I wish you could have met your father,  but he was killed as he protected me and you from those wanting to take over. I know that he is looking down on you too and watching over you.

My time is almost over with you my darling, and I'm going to make sure that I spent our last minutes together hugging and kissing you so much that it would last a lifetime. Although I know it won't,  because I will always want to come down from the stars and hug you whenever you need it.

Remember, whenever you are having a hard time, or need some advice. Look up into the stars,  because we will be up there watching you and listening to you when you need us. If you don't want us to be there, we won't. We will do whatever you want,  because we will always be there for you when you need us.

I love you more than all the stars in the sky Alexa,  I wish we had more time together but we don't. No matter what the world throws at you,  know that you are good enough and you have what it takes to do the best you can.

I love you, 

Mum

Xxx'

I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I read the words she had wrote,  moments before she died. Her words meant a lot more to me than I thought they would do,  but they made me realise a lot.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon said and smiled to me sadly. I nodded to him as I tried to wipe away the fallen tears.

"I'm going to do it" I said and took his hands in mine.

"What are you going to do?" Namjoon asked me slightly confused.

"I'm going to follow my mother,  I'm going to take the throne. I can't let bad people take it when they are going to violate it" I explained. This was the first time I felt sure of my decisions based on whether or not I'd take the throne in the end. Namjoons face lit up and he smiled brightly, showing his deep dimples. His eyes turned into a light green colour as he looked at me. He leant in and kissed my head gently,  I couldn't help but smile around him. He just seemed to make everything seem right.

"Okay,  now I'm going to have a shower" I laughed slightly and stood back up and walked towards the shower.

It was so refreshing to finally be able to wash properly. I know it was only a couple of days,  but the amount of blood that I had on me,  not all mine wasn't exactly nice. The cuts on my face stung,  but I new that it was best for them. I'm glad that we heal a lot faster than humans because honestly I couldn't wait for the pain to disappear. At most I'd be waiting a week before I'm back to normal. My body looked so bruised already,  but it was only going to get worse before it got better.

I had brought some pyjamas into the bathroom so that I could change before I went back into my room. It was simple,  a large t-shirt with a some shorts. I thought my legs would be fine but no,  I had bruises from his knees digging into my legs. I sighed as I looked at them.

I walked out of the bathroom and looked to see that Namjoon was changed into basketball shorts and a t shirt,  he was laid in my bed. I wasn't sure if he was actually asleep or not. I walked over to the bed and got in on my side. It still felt amazing to be able to be back in my bed. Although it was weird having someone else in my bed too,  that was something I was definitely not used to.

The last time I shared a bedroom with anyone was nearly 100 years ago,  and that was with Taehyung. He had his side of the bedroom and I had mine. You'd think we would have argued a lot,  but we didn't. We'd always seemed to get along with minimal arguments since youngsters and that was something I always loved and cherished between us.

I laid in my bed and closed my eyes. I turned onto my side that wasn't as hurt and faced Namjoon. I felt Namjoons lips on my forehead as he placed his arm underneath my head for me to lay on. I felt comfortable in his arms,  safe even.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I started to wake from unconsciousness,  I could hear the slight sound of snoring beside me. It wasn't loud or annoying, it was quite cute actually. I began to open my eyes,  readjusting to the light. I turned my head slightly to look towards the sound of light snores coming from beside me.

I saw Namjoons face on its side laying on the pillow. His face was slightly squished on the pillow with his lips open,  only a small amount. I noticed his arm was laying lightly on top of mine. Although it was laying lightly on mine,  it still felt strong,  like he didn't want to move or let go.

I decided that I should get up and try to get ready before the rest of the night began. I didn't know how it was going to go at all,  but I needed to get ready and prepare myself. As I moved my arm away from Namjoons,  I could see it had disturbed his sleep a little,  however continued to sleep. Trying to sit up from my laid down position probably wasn't the best thing to do. A strong aching pain shot up through my core as I lifted myself up into the seated position. I automatically let out a groaning noise and squeezed my eyes together. I knew it was going to be bad,  but I didn't expect it to be this uncomfortable.

"Alexa?" I heard a deep voice say from behind me. I turned my head back to see that Namjoon,  who was barely awake was staring at me. His hair was down his forehead, it looked slightly messy,  but not really at the same time. It was actually a really good look on him.

"Yes?" I replied to him and began trying to shuffle off of the bed,  little movements at a time so that I caused little pain to myself.

"Are you okay? I heard you groaning" He said and chuckled as he rubbed his eyes. I continued to shuffle off of the bed slowly. I heard Namjoon groan himself before moving off of the bed and walking around to me.

"Would you like some help?" he asked and put his hands out for me to take. I smiled slightly before taking them and was pulled up suddenly. It wasn't so painful as I went up in one go. He continued to hold my hands as I gained my balance once again.

"I think I'm good now" I said and smiled as I brushed my t-shirt down so it wasn't so bunched up.

"How are your sides?" he asked as he scanned my face. The cuts had probably starting to scab up and looked alot worse than they actually were. To be fair,  my lips hurt a lot from the cut on them,  but the rest of my face didn't so much.

"They hurt a lot more,  but I think today will be the worse day" I said and wobbled over to the mirror. I noticed Namjoon stood behind me as I looked at myself. I saw blues and purples coming up on my face from where I had been punched and grabbed. The scabs were dark,  making the wounds look deeper than they were. I could see the bruises down my arms where I had been dragged and grabbed throughout the past couple of day. I lifted my t-shirt slightly, revealing my torso. Again,  I was greeted by the blues and purples of the deep bruises that had been created from the kicking. I wouldn't be surprised if I had cracked a rib. I hated how I looked,  I looked and felt weak.

"Do you have a doctor here?" Namjoon asked as his eyes saddened as he looked at the bruises all over me. He looked hurt,  so hurt.

"I'm going to go to her today,  I need something to ease the pain" I said and dropped the t-shirt down again as I turned towards him again.

"You should take a hot bath,  it will ease the pain and warm up your muscles they won't be so tight" he said and smiled slightly,  I nodded and walked back towards the bathroom again.

I soaked up in the hot water,  resting my head back onto the back of the bath tub. I wanted to just fall back asleep in the steam and let myself soak into the water. I could hear someone knocking at the door. It would have to be one of the boys or my mum since they were the only ones who knew I was back,  and George wouldn't be knocking at my door. I decided to listen out to whoever it was and if the door would be answered or not. I could hear the slightly mumbles of the person outside of the door, before the door opened and whoever it was walked straight in.

"Where's Alexa?" I heard Taehyungs voice asked as he entered the room. He sounded somewhat urgent. I sat up in the deep bath tub as I listened.

"Having a bath,  I told her it was a good idea since she was in so much pain. She needs to see a doctor" Namjoon stated, he sounded serious and concerned about me as he spoke.

"How bad is she?" Taehyung asked sincerely,  I could hear him move towards the bathroom door.

"In a lot of pain like I said. The bruises and wounds are a lot worse too" he commented back.

"She'll need to go to the doctor afterwards" Taehyung said. Afterwards? What is happening now?

"Can't she go now? Surely since your mum is so high up she can get straight in?" Namjoon asked,  confused. That was true,  plus no one really went to the doctor so it wasn't like I had to wait anyway.

"No,  you two need to go to the auditorium as soon as possible, everyone is waiting for you" Taehyung explained. Yes,  I wanted to go back to the relaxing and soaking up in the water and not worry about anything. But when in my life was that going to happen. I heard the door to the bathroom knock loudly.

"Alexa! We need to leave,  you are needed in the auditorium" Tae shouted through the door. I rolled my eyes and got up out of the bath. I had a feeling I knew what was about to happen.

Am I going to be good enough?