See, punching people looked pretty cool in movies. Maybe it was the whizzing of the camera angles, the post-production sound created by foley artists and the funding from big media companies. Maybe it was the million dollar fight choreography intermingled with the strong odour of 'manly-men-flex-muscles-and-save-the-world'. Or, maybe, it was the fact that actions stars were, by trade, smoking hot and made violence look chic. 

To be fair, Xander's face and body gave every Hollywood action star a run for their money, but maybe I was just biased because this was now my body.

But getting back to my point - punching in movies was cool. Punching people in real life, not so much.

CRUNCH.

'Oh, fuck, that hurts!' I screamed in my mind as I reeled back after my fist collided with the brunet's face, the boy tumbling to the ground and clutching his cheek as he howled in pain. What the hell is your face made of, dude?! Bricks even harder than my abs?!

I shook my sore hand while blowing on my knuckles, which I was sure were going to bruise. Why would people ever want to punch someone when it hurts this much?!  Every bully is just a closet masochist, huh?

"Fuck, my face, my face," the brunet whimpered, voice sounding clogged as he scuttled back, staring at me with wide eyes full of tears. As I held my fist up the boy stared at it in fear, quickly muttering a "Fuck, let's get out of here, dude". I shook my hand again to try and regain feeling in it, causing the brunet to blanche and quickly stand up, grabbing his friend and taking off. 

I stared at the patch of pavement that the boy was collapsed across just seconds before, before blinking and turning to see their hastily retreating backs. 

Oh.

Wait. 

They ran?

Because they... were scared... of me?

Me?

"Ohhh my God," I warbled, leaning over to take a deep breath because, God, I just punched someone in the face.

I punched someone in the face.

I. Punched. Someone. In. The. Face.

"Ohhh, that's not good. I punched someone in the face. That's really not good. Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. I punched someone in the face," I mumbled to myself, sucking in deep, wracking breaths. "Ohhh God, oh God, ohhh no."

"Oh my Gosh, are you okay? Xander, help!" Aubrey's voice said, pitch raised in panic behind me. Turning towards her, I found the protagonist gently rubbing the second lead's back as he hunched over, tenderly cradling his face with one hand while the other pinched his nose. I could see a little smear of blood brushed under Elias's nose, an unsightly blotch of dark rust on otherwise pristine almond skin.

Oh, God, who cares about my bruised knuckles, the kind second lead is in far worse condition.

"Oh, Jesus," I breathed, crouching down beside Elias, who flinched slightly as I raised my hand to help him from where he was kneeling on the ground. I glanced at my hands, one slightly reddened, and licked my lips nervously. "Shit, sorry," I mumbled, dropping my hands to my side, offering Elias a tiny, weak smile. "You, um, can you stand up? Keep pinching your nose and keep your head tilted forwards, so the blood doesn't, you know, go down your throat."

Elias let out a short noise of affirmation from the back of his throat, slowly peeling himself off the ground. Some blood had dribbled onto the front of his T-shirt, and I winced at the sight. 

"Shit, should we go to the doctor? Your nose, it's not broken is it? I think we should get you to a hospital... it might be awkward explain what happened but if you're hurt, it's better to..." I rambled, biting my lip as I surveyed Elias's face, his eyes staring at me from above the hand covering his nose with a feeling I couldn't quite place. Wariness, probably.

"I don't think it's broken," Elias said quietly, releasing his hand as he winced. It seemed like he had stopped bleeding, despite the scary amount of crusted blood staining his skin. His nose didn't look askew either, but I was no doctor, and who knows what unseen damage the asshole from before could have done.

"You were bleeding a whole lot, though. I really think it would be a good idea to at least get it checked out by a doctor..."

Elias was giving me that odd look again, and I coughed, assuming he was really not keen on seeing a doctor.

"But, I mean, you know your body best etcetera etcetera. At... At least put some ice on it? Because it's probably going to swell up. And we should probably clean up your face and shirt, but blood stains like a bitch."

"We...?" Elias echoed, eyes widening slightly, making me blink. His light brown eyes momentarily flickered towards Aubrey, who was still looking at the blood on Elias's face with worried blue eyes, and oh. I almost chuckled to myself.

Oh, second lead, you sly dog. This is perfect, just perfect. Come on, Alex - time to show this fictional world that Xander is a better wing man than he is a main lead. Not that the standards were particularly high in the first place, considering he was an abysmal leading man.

"I mean, Aubrey can help you out," I said, Aubrey's head snapping to me, her pink lips parted and eyes quizzical, if not a little panicked. Oh, how adorable. "You really saved her skin, dude. It's really the least we can do, right?"

"It's... That's really not necessary. I'm fine, and I wasn't really trying to help h..." Elias said quickly, hissing slightly as his rapid words jostled his nose. 

"Be careful! Try not to move your face too much, you'll hurt yourself. Aubrey, your house is close by, right? Why don't you take Elias there and help him clean up," I said, Elias's eyebrows crinkling as Aubrey tugged on the back of my shirt discreetly, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"X-Xander, I don't really know him... And... And I'm not really good with blood..." Aubrey whispered, and I groaned internally. Was this girl seriously cock-blocking herself right now? Come on, protagonist, please cut the poor second lead some slack. You've already broken his heart once in a fictional world, please don't let this ship sink again!

"No, that's... I'm really fine, Xander. I wouldn't want to impose on... Audrey?" Elias said, voice tilting up questioningly. 

"Aubrey," I said with a small smile, Elias apologising quickly with another pained intake of breath. Turning to Aubrey, I lowered my voice to a whisper as well, moving closer to be as discreet as she was just moments before.

"Aubrey, he basically just got punched for you, it would be nice to return the favour," I said softly.

And maybe get some of that sweet sugar stick and happily-ever-after while you're at it.

"It wasn't just for me! I mean, those guys were harassing you, too," Aubrey replied firmly, tugging on my shirt again. "I do want to help him, it's just... I'm not good with talking to people I don't know. I'm... I'm just not good at that."

Well, you're talking to me fine, and we barely know each other. Hell, you fell in love with this hunk of muscle two thrusts in, 'not-good-with-talking-to-people-I-don't-know' my ass. Can you please stop ruining my wing-man efforts? Everyone, please place an F in the chat for my poor second lead. Elias, hang in there, buddy.

"I can come with, if you want? Don't know if that makes you feel any better, but..." I offered, Aubrey's eyes brightening immediately.

"Yes!" Aubrey said quickly, relief written all over her features. "I'd feel better with you there, and like I said, I'm not good with blood..."

"Fine," I sighed, turning to Elias with a smile, only to find the boy already staring at Aubrey and I. "Elias, I get that you say you're fine... but please, at least let us help patch you up, or give you an ice pack."

"... I don't want to be a bother to you," Elias said quietly, shrugging as he glanced at me. "And you're probably busy... with..." Elias's gaze moved to the girl beside me, who shook her head adamantly.

"No, we've finished working on our project and were about to head off. My house is pretty close, as Xander said. You really saved us, it's the least we can do," Aubrey said, Elias pausing for a moment, before nodding slowly and hefting his large sports bag onto his shoulder.

"Fine. Thanks," Elias said, and with that, the three of us made our way to the protagonist's house. This was not my ideal scenario, since it would have been far more productive to have Elias and Aubrey alone in her house, but not the worst outcome. I'd just have to slowly ease my way out once Aubrey was more comfortable and Elias was no longer oozing blood, and then the second lead can happily woo his way to marriage.

Perfect.

***

"Here, Xander," Aubrey said, dropping an ice pack wrapped in a kitchen towel into my hands. "Give that to Elias, I'm gonna quickly run upstairs to find the first aid kit."

What.

This was not how things were supposed to go. Sure, we had already deviated from the original plot in 'Say No to Bad Boys' - in which Aubrey had patched up Xander's wounds and ended up getting her lady fillet tenderised by Xander's hammer - but this was not my plotline.

"Wai-" I started, but the protagonist was already half way up the stairs, leaving me with an ice pack and a very awkward second male lead whose nose had started dribbling again on the train to Aubrey's house.

Aubrey, why the hell are you running off?! Is this a case of 'protagonist-stupidity-strikes-again'?! I'm trying to help you get a man here, sis!

I screeched at Aubrey internally, glaring at the empty space of air that once housed the protagonist, before mechanically turning around to face Elias. The boy was perched on a bar stool by the kitchen counter, still pinching his nose and glancing around him like he wasn't particularly comfortable in the unfamiliar surroundings. His eyes met mine briefly, before diverting to his lap.

Or, maybe, it was just me making him uncomfortable. Fair enough.

I cautiously drew nearer to the second lead, ice pack heavy and cold in my fingers. While Elias was seated I towered over him, and he had to tilt his face up to look at me, light brown eyes clear and warm.

"Here," I said softly, tenderly pressing the ice against the side of his nose and making Elias hiss slightly at the sudden touch of cold. The shock of ice made his arms jerk up to meet me half way, his hands pressing over mine on the ice pack. Contrasting to the cold ice beneath the pads of my fingers, the warmth of his hand against mine was steady. "Got a hold of it, Elias?"

"Mm, yeah. Thanks," Elias murmured, letting me slide my hands out from under his. I stared at Elias's handsome face for a moment, the boy blinking at me and wriggling in his seat. "Uh... do I have something on my face?"

"Yeah, you do actually," I said, clicking my tongue, stepping around the kitchen island to grab some paper towels, pretty sure that Aubrey wouldn't be ecstatic if I got her family's kitchen towels covered in blood. Dampening the paper, I returned to Elias's side, leaning down and nudging him to tilt his head up again. 

"What are you..."

"Cleaning the blood off you," I said, offering the boy a small smile. "Move your hands for a sec."  

It was silent as I carefully dabbed at the crusted blood on the second lead's face, being careful around his tender nose area. After a few moments, tissues gently caressing Elias's skin, the soccer captain suddenly spoke.

"Why are you doing this?" Elias asked, catching my wrist in his hand and pulling it from his face, light brown eyes searching for something. 

"This?"

"Helping me. Being all..." Elias said, waving his hand vaguely in the air, eyes dropping from mine again.

"You helped us first," I replied, chuckling. "I mean, I should be the one with the bloody nose, not you. You're not supposed to be the one getting into fights. Why did you step in? You didn't have to." 

Well, it's obvious why you intervened - since I am no longer in willing position to fill the shoes of the main lead (and fill the protagonist's gateway to heaven with the main lead's sorcerer's staff) of course the second main lead has to take my place. Nobly protecting the girl you love from her harassers, it's really quite a sweet notion, unlike Xander who only protected her because he felt like a child whose toy was getting played with by other kids in the sandpit.

"They were harassing you, did I need another reason? You clearly weren't fighting back, well, not at first, and they were about to..." Elias said, voice trailing off and eyes glancing at my bruised knuckles. "Does your hand hurt?"

"My hand?" I echoed, rubbing my knuckles and shrugging. The mention of it made the limb throb slightly, but I had forgotten it in the grand scheme of things, since I had a bleeding second lead to worry about. "Sort of, but it can't be worse than how your nose must feel."

"Here," Elias replied, removing the ice pack from his face and taking my hand in his and pressing the cold sack against my bruised knuckles.

"Oh," I breathed out, touched by his gesture.

Author bless your soul for creating this sweet, sweet creature. But also, fuck you, author, for breaking his heart in 'Say No to Bad Boys'. That will not happen to this gentle soul again, not on my watch.

At that moment, Aubrey descended the stairs with a first aid kit tucked against her breast. Her hair bounced as she lightly stepped down the stairs, sundress flowing about her weightlessly. The sun shining through the skylight above bathed her in a golden glow, her red locks shimmering between red and gold. She looked like a majestic, fairy-like creature, and I mentally gave her a big thumbs up because she was looking gorgeous. 

I snuck a look to Elias, whose cheeks were a little pink and once again staring at his lap. Ah, also adorable. These two would be so great together.

"Oh! Aubrey, good, you're back," I chirped, taking a step back and making room for the protagonist to work her charm. "You can take over from here an-"

"Here, Xander," Aubrey interrupted, thrusting the first aid box into my hands. Blue eyes looked at the bloody tissues on the kitchen counter, her rosy cheeks losing a little of their colour. "I'm, uh, still not okay with blood so I'll leave the patching up to you. I can go make us some lunch, though. I can't really cook, but I do make a good toastie."

"Wai-"

"Thanks, Aubrey," Elias said kindly, the protagonist waving away his thanks with a happy skip into the kitchen, leaving Elias and I alone once again. I internally screamed and wanted to tear my perfect platinum hair out, cussing out the protagonist for wasting all of my efforts to try and get her to canoodle with the perfect second lead.

For fuck's sake - get your act together, Aubrey!

A/N: Sorry for the delay folks - I got a little busy with a small family trip and didn't have a lot of time to write because my mum dragged me out on long beach walks because I'm apparently a lazy sh*t. She ain't lying though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  Hope you enjoyed this belated chapter, and get ready for more antics between our favourite main lead and the OG protagonist and sweet love-triangle-place-filler ;)