I had never been in detention before, but in all honesty, it wasn't too bad. The girls of the Melon Trio (the name my sister had once given the recurring trio of bimbos with hair in varying shades of yellow, in reference to their... assets) that had pestered me during class couldn't blatantly get out of their chairs to harass me during detention, and we were given time to complete homework, which was no different from what I would have done when I got home anyway.

While I didn't mind the silence after a day of running away from throngs of girls that behaved more like rabid beasts than human beings (courtesy of the piss-poor characterisation of the author of 'Say No to Bad Boys'), the supervising teacher was clearly rethinking their career choice. He had spent the first twenty minutes glaring at me for no apparent reason than for me being... well, Xander Hart. However, once he begrudgingly realised I wasn't causing any trouble this time around, he ended up playing solitaire on his phone before promptly falling into a light doze.

The classroom was silent apart from the occasional gurgling snores of the teacher, the tick of the wall clock, the scratch of pens and the shuffling of paper. Every now and then, the silence was punctuated by a shout outside, the coach of the soccer team barking out orders after the shrill cry of a whistle. 

It was strangely peaceful, then. For a moment in the silence, I was able to just clear my mind of everything; of dying, of running away from girls wanting to have a taste of the magical sword of destiny tucked away in my pants, of my unwanted reputation as a crude sex fiend and troublemaker. For a moment I could forget that I was Xander and just be Alex. Boring, plain, normal Alex.

And yet, it seemed like this world's mission was to ensure that I could not find peace. Considering this was technically my version of the afterlife, my sister would probably be cursing whatever deity was responsible for this if she found out that I didn't go to heaven, but some sort of twisted tween novel purgatory that was more akin to hell than a haven of fluffy clouds and beautiful angels in togas.

Despite my best efforts, even though I could forget things for a moment, the presence of the protagonist sitting next to me was a constant reminder that I was not just Alex Smith, but Xander Hart. I could feel Aubrey's gaze glancing at me every now and then, and each time the blue eyes rested on me shiver with discomfort.

The quiet, hushed giggling behind me made the hairs on the back of my neck bristle, a sense of foreboding creeping its way up my legs. It was never a good sign when nameless side characters like the Melon Trio began to giggle, because that meant they were plotting something involving the protagonist, and if the tween story algorithm rang true like it always did, that something was never a good thing.

I suddenly remembered how this scene played out in 'Say No to Bad Boys', cringing internally and fighting back the urge to projectile vomit all over my textbooks. 

Xander Hart leaned back in his chair, chest puffed out and biceps flexing beneath his black T-shirt. Aubrey couldn't help but notice the way his muscles bulged, and was momentarily overcome with the urge to touch them, and wondered how they would feel wrapped around  her smaller frame. The thought made her blush, almost dropping her books as she meekly sat down in the empty spot beside the boy, only because it was the only spot available apart from the ones near the group of popular girls at the back.  

Even though Aubrey was new to the school, her father's job making her move from the sprawling beaches of her hometown to the bustling, cramped city, she already knew about Xander Hart and his reputation. He was a womaniser and got into all sorts of fights, and was famous - or infamous - for being as beautiful as he was coldhearted. He was the sort of person Aubrey wanted to steer clear of, that her parents always said were trouble, but for some reason she couldn't help the pull of gravity tugging her towards the blonde-haired boy.

Sensing Aubrey sitting next to him, Xander peeled open his electric green eyes, which seemed to stare deep into Aubrey's very soul. Platinum blonde hair fell across this eyes for a moment when he turned his head to looked at the girl beside him, lips curling up into his signature smirk.

"And who might you be?" Xander asked in that low, sultry voice that sent shivers racing down Aubrey's spine. Aubrey felt her heart quicken and she gulped, tongue tied and eyes darting from Xander's intense gaze to her books and back again. 

"A-Aubrey," the girl squeaked, cheeks heating. "I'm new," she added helplessly as Xander's smirk deepened.

"New, you say. No wonder I didn't recognise you, kitten. I'd remember someone like you," Xander said slowly, Aubrey's heart thumping violently. Part of her wanted to lean in, but the rational side of her chastised her sternly.

'This is Xander Hart, Aubrey. He sleeps with everything that moves, he doesn't mean these things, it's all a lie,' her mind whispered, but that nagging feeling in her gut only grew, especially when Xander Hart leaned in close, lips brushing the shell of her ear, breath hot.

"I think I'll be seeing you around a lot more, kitten."

I internally gagged on my own spit as I recalled the words that had once spilled out of my body-snatched vessel. Who the fuck says those lines?! And kitten?! Who could ever call a stranger that with a straight face, let alone a smirk, like they genuinely thought they were being slick. If that line made anyone's panties wet, it's only because they had pissed themselves in fear of someone actually coming onto them with such terrible lines, because that was nightmare-inducing in itself.

I would rather die a second time than spew any of those cheesy lines from my mouth, and just kept my head down, ignoring the presence of the protagonist beside me. 

It was when I was one hundred repetitions deep in my mental mantra of 'Don't look at the protagonist, don't look at the protagonist' that a wad of paper landed on the desk between me and the ginger-haired girl to my left. The paper had evidently been lobbed towards the girl, since it had bounced off her arm. Aubrey flinched at the seemingly innocuous piece of paper, swallowing thickly.

I watched from the corner of my eye, pretending to continue working through an equation, as Aubrey's blue eyes crinkled with nervousness. She gingerly unfurled the wad of paper with slender fingers, before sucking in a tight breath.

The word on the paper was bright red and blinding.

SLUT.

I rolled my eyes minutely at the ridiculous and petty insult, and yet Aubrey seemed to fold in on herself, shaky hands crumpling the paper back into a ball and dropping it onto the table, eyes trained on her books as if she could pretend that paper wasn't there at all. 

Her blue eyes swam with tears behind her thick glasses, but she tightened her lips and seemed to will the tears away, discreetly rubbing her eyes as she flipped the page over in her textbook, highlighter in hand.

Soon, another paper collided with the side of her head, dropping onto the table by her hand, which trembled minutely.

The paper was scrunched into a ball again, but not as tightly as before, and the beginnings of the harsh words slathered across the paper could be deciphered with a glance. Why they were doing this to the girl who had done nothing to them apart from sit next to me was beyond my understanding, but the minds of teenage girls in fictional stories was uncharted territory and rife with over-reactions and irrational tendencies. 

The protagonist never had a reason to be targeted, other than because of the fact that she was the protagonist. The protagonist was a threat to the survival of irrelevant side characters, after all.

Another paper was thrown at Aubrey, whose eyes began to grow glossy again, giving her a strange air that made one want to swaddle her up in blankets, feed her hot chocolate and pet her head, assuring her that everything would be fine. Something about that innocent face, a little hurt and helpless, made me frown. 

And fuck - maybe Xander's disgusting nickname of kitten kind of made sense, though that bastard made the term far more sexual than it had any right to be. Kitten fit because she really was like a little helpless ginger kitten, shrinking away against a wall as a pack of big, ravenous dogs threatened to devour her. 

The trend of bullying the hot-and-only-called-ugly-because-she-wears-glasses-protagonist for "drama" always made me snort in derision, but seeing it unfold first hand was more unpleasant than I thought it would be. Reading about Aubrey's hurt was one thing, but seeing it was another.

Cursing under my breath, I swivelled in my chair to level a glare at the girls behind me, catching one of them - classically, a blonde one with two huge mounds on her chest that were both impressive and a complete anatomical marvel - mid-pitch, fingers releasing another paper ball as I turned.

Catching it in my hand, levelling the group of girls with another hard stare as their mouths dropped open in almost laughable synchronisation, I let out a low 'tsk' and turned back. I could feel Aubrey's wide eyes on me as I smoothed out the paper, before folding the wrinkled parchment into a paper airplane and letting it soar into a paper bin in the far side of the classroom. 

In true main lead fashion, the slightly misshapen paper airplane managed to fall into the bin with a light flutter. 

Suddenly, Aubrey let out a quiet giggle, one that was genuinely amused but mixed with a dash of incredulity. Blue eyes moved from the paper bin to me, the girl's head tilting to the side, as I just snorted and rolled my eyes, picking up another one of the insulting notes and smoothing it out.

Beginning to fold it into another plane, Aubrey hesitated for a moment, before taking another one of them and smoothing it out also, copying my motions. I threw my plane first, the paper hitting the side of the bin and dropping to the floor this time. Aubrey's pink lips curled up into a small smile, eyes crinkling a little with the motion. I could feel my own mouth twitching as she threw her own paper airplane, which just looped in the air uselessly, landing by our feet. 

Aubrey and I looked at the plane on the ground, lying there hopelessly close to us, before turning to each other and coughing out stifled giggles which made the teacher stir.

Aubrey seemed to stare at my face for a little too long, then, and I coughed, turning away and looking back at my books. Aubrey looked at me for a moment longer, before turning back to her own books, her shoulders seeming to be a little less tense, her back a little straighter.

She didn't try to initiate anything more for the rest of detention, though when it was over, she did give me a small smile, one that was merely grateful and innocent, with no other intention behind it. 

The same couldn't be said for the looks the Melon Trio behind me sent my way, and I could feel the way their predator-like gazes found a target in me the moment Aubrey slipped out of the classroom. 

Melon Trio Member #1 sauntered over to me, hips swaying and skirt folded up three or four times to show a generous amount of shapely leg, plump lower lip threaded between her teeth as she twirled a curl of hair. 

"Xander," she almost sang, the sound making me take a step back towards the door. "You know, we were thinking that... since what happened in the lab the other day was so much fun... maybe we could, you know..."

"We heard that the art room is empty on Mondays..." Melon Trio Member #2 added, licking her lips as she looked me up and down like I was a piece of meat.

"We could model for you..." Melon Trio Member #3 giggled, gleam in her eyes making me sweat, taking another stumbling step backwards, hand fumbling for the door handle.

"No, I think I'm goo-" I started, clammy hands slipping on the door handle as the Melon Trio grew closer and closer, so close I could begin to see the drool almost falling from their glossy lips and the horrific panting noises one of them was emitting. 

"Nude modelling," a girl clarified, making me choke.

This is a nightmare. This is a nightmare. This is a nightmare.

Someone save me, please!

"No thank you!" I yelled quickly, jamming the door open and breaking out into a sprint as a chorus of shocked noises erupted after me, followed by cries of my name and the thundering of footsteps as the Melon Trio took chase.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," I stammered under my breath as I ran for my life from the girls that seemed like they were dead set on pursuing me until I dropped dead. Again.

Someone save me from this Hell, please!

A/N: Honestly, writing the snippets from the fictional 'Say No to Bad Boys' story brings me immense joy - bring on all the cheese without the usual accompanying dose of shame!

Thanks for reading - get keen for the next chapter! (¬‿¬)