"So, Xander's parents are actually never around, huh?" Amber slurred through her mouthful of Thai curry, the two of us sprawled out on the couch as a trashy teen movie played on the large plasma screen in front of us. Of course, it involved someone getting piss drunk and blah blah choo choo train goes through the tunnel as someone gets railed etcetera etcetera. The two of us were only half watching the trainwreck of a movie as we basked in each other's newfound presence.

"Nope," I said, popping the 'P', nudging my sister's leg with my toe to get her to pass me the curry puffs. "And I'm guessing your body's mum doesn't care about whether you stay out or not?"

"Please," Amber snorted, rolling her eyes as she bit down on a fishcake. "She was barely a character in the original story, Lex. In the past four weeks I've been stuck in boob-for-brains, I have seen her a whopping two times. Single mother, working late shifts, the classic teen novel excuse for allowing underage kids to swap cock snot at all hours of the night. You know, I think the author could've explored the whole 'childhood neglect and trauma can make a girl seek comfort in the bodies of others' thing, but nope. They decided to just spend 113 chapters writing terrible smut and making Amber one-dimensional bitch instead."

"Either way, that works out well for us. Feel free to move in, sister-of-mine-in-the-body-of-no-sister-of-mine," I said, grinning as Amber nodded enthusiastically, putting her empty bowl down before tackling me on the couch with a rambunctious squeal. 

"I missed you! Missed you, missed you, missed you, Lex! Don't you dare disappear on me again, you hear me!" Amber yelled, the two of us giggling as we hugged each other tightly. 

"Don't worry, I'm not planning on it," I vowed, knocking Amber's forehead with mine, my sister dramatically crying out in pain and pulling back to sit on her knees beside me. My twin looked down at me with an amused grin. I raised a brow at her questioningly, which only made her giggle. "What, Ambs?"

"It's just so weird seeing you in a body like... this," Amber said, gesturing at me vaguely with her manicured nails, eyes alight with mirth. "I mean, Xander was a nasty ass character, but visually he's hot as fuck, I'm not blind. Recognising that someone is hot doesn't mean that I don't recognise all of their red flags, don't get me wrong. But then... But then you open your mouth, and it's like... just you," Amber snorted, suddenly dissolving into a fit of giggles as she slapped at my harder than rocks stomach, which only made her guffaw even louder.

"Well, excuse you," I huffed, rolling my green eyes and kicking my sister in her unrealistically narrow and toned stomach. "Are you saying I can't pull off Xander's look?"

"You can't pull it off at all!" Amber chortled. "It's like... It's like... the body of a total top but the soul of a bottom! And not even a power bottom, just like... a bottom bottom! Like when your mouth is closed I expect you to be all 'kitten, come to daddy', but then... Oh God, but then you're more just like 'b-baby just wants c-cuddles' and it kills me! It's like, you legitimately have the biggest dick, but zero big dick energy! The incongruity? Juxtaposition? Oxymoron? I'm dead. Literally and figuratively!"

"You're the only moron here," I grumbled. "I make Xander's appearance very charming, alright?"

"Riiiight," Amber drawled, grabbing my shirt and rucking it up to slap my abs with another loud snort. "You need to say sorry to these bad boys, Lex. These abs are honestly wasted on you!"

"You're one to talk!" I retorted, crossing my arms over as I pointedly looked at my sister's chest, the girl gasping with feign modesty, cuddling her ample bosom in her arms like she was carrying a sack of apples. "You're like, mega hot and look like you could impale me with your nails if I looked at you wrong, but instead you're fucking terrified of Aubrey, who wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"Hey! I have every right to be terrified of the protagonist, okay?! She ended the original Amber's career in the original story, bro," Amber groaned, flipping her blonde locks over a shoulder with a huff. "After Xander dumped Amber publicly in favour of Aubrey's pie hole, her life was over. She was never mentioned in the book again, so who knows what happened to her! The author really just went 'select all and delete' on her perky ass. I don't want to be backspaced out of this world, alright?"

"I think you're safe, Ambs, don't worry. Aubrey only deleted the original Amber because she was canoodling with Xander. Trust me, Aubrey and I are really good friends right now, but nowhere near the level of her wanting to slaughter you for being close to me. If anything, as long as you don't try and go after Elias, the love of her life, she won't be out to get you," I said, Amber looking at me suspiciously. 

"You sure?"

"I'm sure sure. Don't worry, Aubrey is as dense as rocks like in the book, but she's really nice and won't despise you for no reason. Just like how I'm not the sack of shit Xander originally was, and how you're not the crazy blonde bitch from the original story either," I assured my sister, who seemed to relax, just a little. 

"Fine, if you say so, Lex," Amber sighed, before finally glancing back to the movie we were watching, just in time to catch the protagonist and the main lead stick their tongues down each other's throat under what looked like torrential rainfall. "Jesus, those two better dry off after they finish eating each other's faces, otherwise they're going to get some serious colds."

"Didn't you know?" I laughed, elbowing my sister in the side as I watched her heap more curry into her refilled bowl, eyes softening. "Even if they get sick, a little dick will cure any illness." 

***

"Ooh, Lex, I think main lead 2.0 is at the front gate!" Amber called out from where she was spying out of the upstairs window. Turning off the shower, I cursed and hastily wrapped a towel around my waist, poking my head around the bathroom door. Amber continued to stare out of the window, whistling lowly from where she sat in the window nook. "Damn, he is a looker. And a genuinely nice, sane person, which is infinitely more important. Why the protagonist chose you over him is bonkers."

"Why do I feel offended?" I sighed, ignoring the slight pinch in my chest. "And pass me my clothes, unless you want to see your bro's new massive pee pee in ultra HD."

Amber turned to me then, grimacing when she saw my near-naked form, and threw me the bundle of clothes on my bed. 

"I've been seeing you naked since we shared a womb, dude, but the way you're so smug with your new dangly bits makes me want to hurl," Amber snickered, dodging the damp towel I threw back at her face. 

"Fuck off. Can you go and let Elias in while I get changed? I don't want him waiting around outside, it's cold this morning," I said, Amber happily jumping up from the window sill and skipping downstairs. 

It has been a few days since the holidays started, and Amber and I have been attached by the hip since we were reunited. Although I no longer felt lonely in the cold hallways of the Hart mansion, it was still strange not seeing Elias and Aubrey over that length of time. Elias in particular, since even during the school term we had been spending almost every weekend studying together. Suddenly not seeing him, even for only a few days, left me feeling a little unsettled, which I suppose was only natural considering we were essentially best friends.

I had initially invited Elias and Aubrey to come hang out at my house, but Aubrey said that her parents roped her into some sort of countryside tour. That had put a halt to the plans Amber and I had to try and get them to admit their burgeoning feelings for each other, but still, I didn't consider it a complete loss since it meant I could enjoy Elias's company nonetheless.

I quickly changed, only haphazardly patting my hair dry as to not let Elias wait any longer (and also because I did not know what weird shit my twin could be chatting with him about), before rushing downstairs.

I found Elias in the living room, awkwardly sitting on one of the arm chairs as Amber came around with a tray of iced tea and snacks, offering a glass to the ex-second-lead. Elias's expression was odd as he smiled at her with a soft 'thank you', eyes looking down at the floorboards. 

Wait... Dude... Don't tell me you're intimidated by my sister?! I mean, Amber is attractive as fuck, but you already have Aubrey, dude!

"Elias," I said, the boy's gaze picking itself up from the ground to look at me, but strangely his lips didn't quirk up into the smile I had gotten used to seeing whenever we hung out. Elias's eyes were looking at me but warily flickered up and down my form, before dropping back down to his lap as he mumbled, uncharacteristically flat.

"Mm, hey, Alex. Sorry, I was early, I didn't expect you to have company this early..." Elias apologised, sneaking a glance at Amber, who had plopped herself down on the opposite couch and was sipping on her own beverage. "Maybe I... can just come another day? We have two weeks for the holidays, so we can always hang out another time... Especially since Aubrey... couldn't make it today too. Since she's not here, maybe I should just..."

Huh?

I flinched at Elias's words, fingernails digging into the palm of my hand. My heart seemed to crumple inside my chest, words caught in my throat. 

Why did that kind of hurt? I know that you're in love with her and that you've been really close lately, and yeah, I'm also bummed she's not here. But... I thought you'd still be happy hanging out with me? Am I not... Just because Aubrey's not here... you want to leave?

Why is my chest...

Why do I feel...

Isn't this kind of like...

Elias said something, and I could just register him getting up from his seat. Oh. He said something about his mum messaging him, about how he needed to suddenly look after Tillie, about how he was sorry he couldn't stay, as if he really wanted to. As if it wasn't an excuse, because that's what it was, isn't it? He was too nice to say it out loud, but he would have rather hung out with Aubrey, isn't that it?

"Aw, I was looking forward to hanging out with you, Elias. We have to hang out next time, then!" Amber pouted, Elias freezing for a moment before nodding with a smile, turning to me and patting my shoulder. 

"Sorry, Alex," Elias murmured.

Sorry for what? For... loving Aubrey?

For not...

I bit my lip, staring at the tray of snacks Amber had brought over, at the game console I had brought down from my room to hook up to the large TV, to the random assortment of card and board games I had ready under the coffee table. The excitement I had when Elias said he was coming over today, going to the supermarket with Amber to pick out snacks, getting the games ready for the three of us to get happily riled up over, how I was looking forward to spending time with Elias, laughing with Elias...

"Oh," I breathed out shakily, suddenly finding it hard to breathe with Elias there. With Elias who was just thinking about Aubrey, like how I had always wanted him to. Elias, who was in love with Aubrey. Elias who wasn't in love with-

"Oh, shit," Amber gasped under her breath, staring at my face as understanding seemed to dawn on her, just moments after it did to me. Because she was my twin, and no one knew me better than she did. Even though my face wasn't the one she had grown up with, even if my brown hair was now blonde and my eyes forest green, it was evident that she could still read me like an open book. 

A book that said, like every trashy online novel ever written, that I was in love.

In love with Elias.

Suddenly, I could feel the heat rush to my face and up my ears, and Elias's hand on my shoulder was searing hot and God, I couldn't even look at him in the face. His handsome, main-lead, blemishless, Adonis-like, Greek statue-looking, beautiful face. 

"Hahahahaha oh man, what a shame, b-but of course you have to go home and look after Tillie! Sisters are important! Isn't that right, Ambs? It is! Of course, of course," I forced out, mechanically returning Elias's shoulder pat with a very robotic one of my own, the smile on my face so forced I was sure it looked terrifying. "You should really hurry back home then. Mhmm, yep, you should really go."

Elias stared at me, brows pinched, but nodded, squeezing my shoulder again, the heat spreading from his palm and down my arm, my body tingling.

Oh, God, what the fuck! Body, why are you reacting like this?! You never did this when he touched you before? Just because you caught feelings doesn't mean you need to act like you caught the fucking flu! Aren't these symptoms something bad? Don't heart attacks usually start with chest pain and a funny feeling travelling down your arms? Oh God, oh God, is this what love is like, oh my God.

"I'll message you later, okay? This holiday is going to suck if we don't catch up properly," Elias added, and I almost crumpled onto the floor like Aubrey used to in 'Say No to Bad Boys'. "I'll see you later, Alex."

"Y-yep, see ya, bye," I said, Elias soon leaving, the click of the door from the foyer somehow deathly loud.

The moment he was gone, I did end up crumpling onto the ground, hand over my head as I banged my head on the floor, mind a complete mess.

"Lex..." Amber said, making me whimper knowingly, holding a shaky hand up to silence her, because I knew what she was going to say. 

"I know," I moaned, completely deflating onto the floor now, closing my eyes tightly. "God, I know. This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to change 'Say No to Bad Boys'," I cried, knocking my forehead on the floor again. "Ambs, what do I do? I... Holy shit, I'm now the irrelevant blonde bimbo who fucks up the protagonist's relationship. Me! Oh no. Noooo, no, no, no, no!"

A/N: My city is currently in lockdown so I've had a lot more time to write lately, which I am definitely loving! Thank you for reading, and get ready for more because the plot is starting to pick up *cackles in cliche*

And here's a shout out to my silly boy Lex - you did good realising your feelings darling, but you can still do better xoxo