He wonders if there will ever be a morning when he'll wake up not missing her. Like a rush of longing and the doubts are no longer there. He had spent close to 5 months aching and yearning for her presence - will he spend another 5 years feeling the same? Will he still look for her in other woman's faces and bodies, just like he did when he was with Ji Eun?

Here are the things I want for myself:

I want me to be happy. I want whoever that comes along to know the warmth you've brought into my life before, and I want her to feel the exact way of how I did when I was with you. I want her to know how happy I was and that I lost you because of my ungratefulness. And in the end, maybe she'll tell to fuck off and go find you instead because who wants to be compared endlessly for the rest of their lives??

Jungkook chuckled at his own battling thoughts. He had been staring out to the window, the walls and ceiling for the entire night and his mind has been going around in circles. Will he go crazy after a while if he keep being like this? Hmm...that's actually an idea! Would he still feel this shitty if he goes crazy? Who would be disappointed in him most if he does - his mom or his dad?

He starts weighing out the possibilities in his head. The sun is up...in a few hours she'll be on her plane back. Had she played the USB? Probably not. She probably chucked it in somewhere in her luggage. She'll forget about him and the USB altogether once she reached Thailand. She will probably find it once she's done unpacking - but decided to put it somewhere unmemorable in her room. 

Jungkook held in his breath and counts to ten. Forgive myself...forgive yourself...I'll be where I'm supposed to be...forgive myself...

He sits up, then lie back down again - shutting his eyes as another tear fell

...

'We sent a package to your house. Let me know once you receive it. A way of thank you from miss Lee Hi'

He stares at the message sent by Man-Sik. A 'thank-you'? For what? They haven't even talked about the song or recording yet, why would they send a gift now? He only sent the demo yesterday...maybe it's a 'thanks, but no thanks'? Was it bad - oh God, he shared it with Lisa! It's bad and he shared it with Lisa!!

He groaned to himself and lay back down on the bed. That's it. I won't get up - I have zero energy and I've lost everything so they can just leave the package wherever they want - 

He heard the ring of the doorbell and ignored it by hiding his face tightly under a pillow. Zero energy - go away!!

...

It's now 11am. She'd be sitting comfortably in her plane by now, with her aunt and Bam-ie. I hope she's had her breakfast. If not, I hope they're serving a good meal for you in there. It'll be a long 5 hours flight...a long fly back. I hope she's safe and happy.

...

He ignores the fourth buzzing of his phone. He had put it on Silent mode and placed it far from his reach, but for some reason, it's still vibrating loudly. Or maybe it sounded loud because the house is too quiet...

"How are you so good at coming up with sad lines all the time?" He asked as he jots down what she just said. "Is it cus of me? Do I make you sad baby?"

She giggled and hugged her knees on the couch, shaking her head slightly. 

"No...it's not about the past or present. I don't know...it just came to mind when you asked what I thought. I just thought of it like...someday, one way or another, you'll be taken away from me or I'll be taken away from you. It's inevitable and it scares me,"

"So you came up with that line cus of the future?"

"I guess,"

He got up and leaned down on her for a kiss. "Don't be sad, baby. Nothing could take you away from me...even death. And I'll always be yours no matter what," He smiled playfully as she slapped his shoulder before clinging tightly around it.

...

The long buzz meant it's a call. Jungkook just shuts his eyes lazily, determined to ignore along with his tired mind. Maybe he'll feel better tomorrow - yeah, if he wakes up with a freaking amnesia!

It's probably his mother - checking in on him. Or Man-Sik, wanting to know if he had received the thank-you-but-no-thank-you-we'll-find-another-lyricist-now-bye gift. No...he can't deal with neither today. He can't pretend like he's okay with everything when he's not. Not today...

...

She was in her backyard - running around and chasing the little lamb. Her slightly tanned skin glowed beautifully under the sun. The lamb is still little...still looked as terrified as how he remembered. While she - in a white summer dress and now short, black hair - looked like an angel that she is.

Then she's in his arms, laughing out loud as he lifts her up and spins around. Her voice echoes in this small world with only the two of them - and he felt so blissfully content that he could cry. She playfully pinched on his cheeks to distract him and he fell for it - letting her go and watching her run back through the trees and towards the creek where they always sit together. 

Jungkook woke up feeling dazed, and after a blink or two, heard the doorbell rang again. Jeez...what kind of delivery is this? Do they wait at the doorstep for the whole day until someone eventually shows up??

He lazily drags himself off the bed and out towards the door. Not bothered to even check through the peekhole, he was so ready to give his ultimate death stare to whoever behind it for ruining his dream! Why can't they just leave the damn thing out -

The first thing he noticed are the two luggages on the floor. The second...had gotten his knees weak and his heartbeat speeding. If he's not awake before, he definitely is now!

"I uh..." Lisa shifts from one foot to the other, tucking a strand of hair back on aside. She looks as confused as he probably is! "I wanted to return this to you," She holds out the USB towards him.

Shit - was it really that bad?! Jungkook couldn't speak...or ask. It's like his mind had stopped functioning - has he gone crazy? Is he imagining that she's here in front of his door step to give him back his USB instead of on her supposed plane back to Thailand??

"It's...y - you might need it - it's really amazing, you need to send it to someone,"

He gulped, feeling like the air had somehow shifted and left his mouth dry. Are those sweats falling down or tears - it doesn't matter! 

She took a small step further towards him, looking down briefly before back up to him. Then she smiled. 

"I wanted to have some time to think about us. I thought...I wanted you to find me so much but I thought maybe I shouldn't jump into things. But it's hard...looking at you is hard. Knowing that you worked so hard to find me and...God knows what'll happen to you if I leave again so...it's your fault that I missed my flight,"

"I must've gone crazy," He managed to breathe out. "I must've...this isn't real -"

She wraps her arms around his waist and leans into his chest. "Shh...I miss you so much too...more than you know," 

Her pleading felt so real...and her soft rub on his back made him realize that it's indeed real. Jungkook couldn't help himself any longer.

Finally...his sobs are no longer that of longing and pain. Now it's the overwhelming joy of feeling her heart close to him - of having her touching him, missing him and coming back to love him. The dark clouds have finally disappeared and now...now is where they'll start over for forever.

...

"Mom, we need to board now. I'll call you once we reached okay?" He said over the speaker.

"Aishh...I can never count on you! Lisa-ya...call me once you reach Bangkok okay?" His mother's annoyed voice made him chuckle.

"Yes, eomma," She rolled her eyes at him and he sneaked an arm to tickle her tiny waist. She hissed but he could see the smile on her lips. 

Damn...those lips! He'd been kissing her whenever he got the chance to all day and night yesterday, and he's still thanking his lucky stars that he'll get the chance to kiss her more after this!

Indeed, he's one of the lucky ones! He'll get to redeem on his mistake. He's not quite forgiven himself yet, but he'll get there. Yeah...he'll get there soon.

Jungkook dipped a hand into the pocket of his jacket to grab his passport, and brushed the small velvet box in between. He smiled to himself as Lisa hands over hers to the officer. He'll ask for her hand but first, he needs to get her parents' approval. And he plans to do it as soon as he can. 

He already contacted a real estate agent to look for a house. By the time they're back in Seoul in three weeks time, he should be able to decide on the place. Their new house...for new memories on top of all the many they've had. God, he can't wait! 

Everything seems to be on track now. Lee Hi even agreed to postpone the recording until he gets back - that's after he begged and told her about being able to find his love again and the need to be with her for now!

Lisa turned and tilts her head - probably confused as to why he's standing still and staring at her with hopeful eyes. Then she smiled, holding one hand out to him.

"You're zoning out again," She smirked.

"Yeah..." He ruffled his hair and look down shyly. "Just thinking how lucky I am,"

"Better remember that," She squeezed his hand before leaning up to kiss his cheek.

...

THE END.

...

Hey guys! How are you feeling? 

Thank you so much for reading and for all the votes and comments! I'm so grateful and humbled to receive so much love and support from yall so hugssss for making it all the way till the end!! 

Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors that I didn't notice! This story is very dear to me to be honest. There are some quotes and phrases that I held deep in my chest, it's what I aspire to be - to learn on being a better daughter and friend, as well as loving better in the future.

I hope each of you know that we're only humans, and we make mistakes - some bigger than others. Everyone goes through the struggle of battling in life - especially with our own demons (you know, the little voices in your head saying you're not good enough, or that you don't deserve certain things). But I hope you learn to forgive yourself and be better. Strive for greatness and never give up. Be kind to the world around you and it will be kind to you.

Give yourselves some credit and be proud of how far you've come. Let's be better so we'll get better together, okay? I'm rooting for you. And should you need to talk to someone, please know that you have a friend here :) 

I'll be publishing a new one very soon. In the meantime, take care of yourselves and the ones you love. Life's too short to be spending it on toxic people so let's spread positivity and love ourselves more okay?

Love you guys! xoxo