'And now you left me breathless
I sheared away tenderly
your beauty, your strength, your mind
the gifts that you bestowed to me
were swallowed in my pride
Yes, you left me breathless
in each crashing waves, I cried'

It's been 3 days...and Jungkook had been hiding from the world - succumbing to the pain in his heart since that night at the painting shop. His eyes are too tired, but his mind refused to give in. He kept having images of Lisa, getting into her boyfriend's car...holding his hand and raising it to her soft cheek before kissing it - just like she used to do with him.

Yes, he's been torturing himself and welcoming it whole-heartedly. She deserves to be happy. She deserves the world! And him...he deserves to feel so shitty like this for the rest of his life! He contemplated on calling her up - to talk to her and maybe ask her if it's true that she's moved on. He even had the whole conversation made up in his mind countless times and he knew what he would tell her.

He would say that it's okay if she has. That she doesn't have to entertain his petty self out of pity anymore...and that she truly deserves better and so he wished nothing but happiness for her. He would apologize again for what he had done, and tells her he loves her for the last time. Jungkook would ended up with tears again by the end of this made-up conversation, so he couldn't bring himself to call her.

The never-ending questions linger through as well. Why would she told him she'd come back if he finds her? If she's moved on with someone new, why can't she say it on the phone when he asked her to? Who is this new man who picked her up? Is he good looking? Is he rich? Where did she meet him? Or is it Taehyung? But when he met Taehyung last week, the guy is also trying to find her. Maybe he lied? Maybe he found her but didn't want to let Jungkook know? 

He sighed again as his fingers dropped lazily on the keys of the piano. His head hurts from all the thinking and now it's hurting more as he hangs his forehead down onto the board. Did he fell for you the moment he saw you, just like I did? Does he know your story, your passion...your love? Have you told him how you got that small scar on your left thigh when you were 15? Did you let him touch you, kiss you -

A tear fell and his shoulder starts shaking again. There's nothing he can do aside from crying his heart out over the loss he's feeling. The painter's words kept appearing...but somehow, nothing makes sense. How can he believe that they belong to each other when she got in a car with another man? She doesn't have any friends outside of her dance studio and she had quit months before so it could only mean -

His phone rang and Jungkook sits up immediately. Could it be her? Please let it be -

His heart falls when he saw the ID.

"Mom," He forced his weak voice out. 

"Gook-ah. You said you'd call. Have you been busy?"

Jungkook slumped on the floor and agaist the cushion before he started sobbing again. He wanted to call when he finds her, when he can give his mother the good news - but now...

"Gook! Are you alright? Gook-ahhh...why are you like this -"

"I'm sorry mom...I'm sorry I couldn't bring her back to you,"

"What happened?? Tell me what happened - did you find her? Is she well??"

"I - I haven't...I can't...it's - she's..."

"Why - what happened to her, tell me!!"

"I...I think she's met someone new mom. And I can't...I can't see her with someone new - I'm so scared, I don't know what to do!"

There's a brief silence on the phone, then he heard his mother's sigh. "Gook, listen to me. If she's met someone new...if he can make her happy...you need to let her go. But she will always be my daughter. I don't care if she's married someone else -"

"Mom - don't say that!"

"I don't care if she married someone else - she will always be my daughter and you will bring back my daughter home to me before she leaves us all!!" The anger in his mom's shout is evident, and it snapped him back to life in a blink. "Don't be selfish! You've done your part and if she's not for you...the least you can do is keep your promise to me," There's a crack in her voice and he knew she's crying. "Jungkook-ahh...please..."

"Mom...don't - don't cry,"

"Please...I'm old...I miss my children all the time. You're all grown up but you worry me so much, what will happen if I'm not around to take care of you? How can I die in peace like this - you're all so helpless! Please...don't do this - don't worry me like this. Don't cry and give up - please! Look harder, please!!"

The woman's pleading is hard for him to take in. He never heard his mother wail like this before and he felt even worse to think that he's the cause of this. Jungkook takes a deep breath as Lisa's voice echoes in his mind.

"Mom...please stop crying. You'll get sick if you cry like this. I know - I know you miss her too - I'll find her and bring her back to you, okay? I'm sorry for worrying you - stop crying okay?" He hears the sobs becoming smaller and calmer. "Shh...I'll find her okay? I didn't forget my promise, I'll find her and bring her back,"

"Just...just don't lose hope. If you - if you lose hope, then what's left for us? If you really can't find her, I can tell her to see me before she leaves. I know she will come see me before she leaves, I trust her. I'm just scared that she'll never come back again after that. If both of you are okay with each other - regardless of whether you're together or not - then she might visit again...come back to me again. She won't have those doubts and she'll know that she's welcomed here anytime. You understand right?"

"Yes...yes, mom," 

"I'm sorry, Gook-ah. If she really has someone new, I'm sorry. But you need to force yourself - I know it's hard - but please do this for me. Please accept that fact and be happy for her. She made you happy all these while right? Please do this for her,"

"I..." He suppressed the urge to cry again. "I will, mom. I understand,"

It's hard. Saying those simple words is hard. Swallowing his pride and pushing aside his need to have her by his side is hard. Promising that he'll be happy while seeing Lisa in another man's arms is hard. Everything...this is by far the worst phase he'd gone through in his entire life! 

...

Her hand is splayed on his bare chest and her fingers are drawing lightly, sending him bits of tingles and soft shudders. She laughs cheekily everytime his body tensed - her playful post-sex, sultry, slightly croaky voice made him feel like he's in heaven. Her perfect body line glows under this dimmed yellow lights, tempting him to touch her again. It's amazing how he's never quite used to holding her like this, when they've done this so many times before. Each time never failed to feel like the first time.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, genuinely wanting to know.

"Mmm...I like you hurting me like that," God, she sounds sexy as fuck! 

"You do? Well, damn...I have to step up my fantasy game now,"

She giggled and looked up to him. Fuck, I love the way she looks at me! Shy, yet half-cocky...as if he caught her off guard and thinking of the many ways to kill me with that seductive smile of hers. She kept surprising him at every turn and left him longing for more.

How did she do that? One minute they were casually sitting down facing each other, having dinner at a restaurant - and the next, asking him if he's had any sexual fantasies. Jungkook could've sworn that his face blushed in crimson red right that moment!

He held up her wrist and examines the pink marks that's staring to show, brushing on it softly. "I might've been a bit rough. Does it hurt?"

"No," She held a palm on his left cheek. "Does it hurt?" 

He sighed an embarrassing laugh. "The good kind," He stares at her intently - overwhelmed with emotions...with love. "How are you so amazingly beautiful?"

"Pshh...you're being corny," She slaps lightly on his chest and he grabs her hand in his. 

"I'm serious! I'm so lucky," He dips down a little to kiss her forehead. "You're so amazing...and you love me so much. Sometimes I feel so undeserving,"

"I'm the one who should feel undeserving -"

"Nope - I said it first! You can't copy me!" She laughs her melodic laugh as he sulks. "I'm so lucky! It's like...I found you and you picked me - out of everyone. I always wondered what I've done to deserve you,"

Her clear, big eyes glistened with a hint of smile as she returned his gaze. "I um..." She looks back down onto her fingers on his chest. "I remember when I first saw this one boy in class. You had this puffed out cheeks...slightly pink...and your eyes...when you looked at me, I remember - I thought I've seen these eyes before, but where? Sometimes when you came and talked to me, I felt like...I had this deja-vu, as if it happened before. Like a memory from another time, another place. After a while, I thought there must be a reason why I only felt it with you. It's like we've met before - I don't know when - but the fragments are still there,"

It's weird that he felt like tearing up at her words. There's a foreign longing in him...as if he misses her so bad. "Maybe we were lovers in our past lives too,"

She smiles up to him. God, she's so cute! "Maybe...maybe I loved you too much before that I hoped to see you in my next," She climbed on top of him and kissed his temple. "Maybe I wished so hard -" He caught her lips and she parted, giving him the access he wanted...giving him all of her. 

...