'Hi Mr Jeon Jungkook, it's great to hear from you and we look forward to receiving your samples soon! Should you have any enquiries, do give us a call.'

The reply was quick and short, and Jungkook's eyes fall back to the piece of paper he had scribbled onto. 

'it's funny how you held on for so long
We walked and talked under the stars

we danced in our streets, our rooms and our scars
you used to tell me I look good
with my hair held back as I strummed my guitar
and you said, I'm in the stars and wherever you are'

He hums the melody hushly to not distract the taxi driver. Okay...it needs more work, but the tune sounds good. Jungkook jots down the notes so he won't forget. Then he leans back to the headrest, shutting his eyes. It's been a mentally tiring journey - one hour flight from Busan to Daegu and 35 minutes drive by now to the address given by Jimin.

Jungkook had all the time to prepare for the overdue apology. It's been what - close to 5 years since he last spoken to the guy? Yes...it was on that night. He knew - after Taehyung had left with Jimin and he walked back to his car with Lisa - that he was wrong to start the fight. Lisa cried in silence the whole way back home - staring outside the window instead of answering to him.

She avoided him for two straight days after - giving him enough time to, one: beat himself up for losing her at the party and hurting her at the street, and two: recalling the way Tae called for his girlfriend. His earlier intention to apologise to his friend evaporated by his growing suspicions, obviously. So he lets it be. He focused only on Lisa's forgiveness and when he got it, everything went back to normal for him. 

They're not in school anymore so he didn't have to see Taehyung everyday, reliving the night awkwardly in front of all their friends. He did feel bad for the longest time - especially for Jimin, having to constantly divide his time hanging out between the boys. He heard a few months later that Tae had moved back to his old hometown in Seo-Gu. 

Anyways...Lisa had mentioned it to him a couple of years back - that she felt bad about her being the cause of the ruined friendship, but Jungkook brushed it off by insisting that it was his fault instead. It really was. The questions linger at the back of his mind - why would Lisa come all the way here? How did she know where Taehyung is? Have they been keeping in touch behind his back all this while?

And what was it that Jimin said - is she trying to mend everything that went wrong in his life by doing this? She could've left trails of herself - this is leaving the trails of his past instead, why is she doing this?

"We're here,"

Jungkook sits up, looking out the window towards the big bungalow. There are cobblestones from the road, leading up to the front porch. An oak tree stood alone at the side, its leaves swaying along with the breeze. It looks like a family house - is he still living with his parents here?

He got out and walked along the path, and when he reached the door, he pressed on the bell. Then he waited, looking around but at nothing specific. The weather is particularly in favour of him. It's usually sunny this time of the day, but it's slightly windy - just as he likes it.

"Yes, can I -" The voice stops when Jungkook spun around. The tall, slender guy stares at him with a pair of piercing eyes and tensed jawline as Jungkook mutters his awkward 'hey'. Damn, he's gotten even more handsome since Jungkook last saw him! 

...

Jungkook was led to the back patio - through the awfully quiet, big house. No one else was in sight, just him and Taehyung. His heart beat picks up when the guy gestured for him to sit on the bench facing the backyard garden. It's finally time to talk...and he's not sure if he could remember what he planned to say!

Taehyung took a single chair and sat about 2 feet away from him. The silence from the door to here is more than just awkward - it's unbearable! 

"Do you live here alone?" A general topic can't go wrong right?

"My father's upstairs, resting. What do you want?" There's that deep voice that Jungkook remembers so well, and he can't help but look up to the guy. His hair is longer, but it parts the same. His face seems sharper and more mature, making him look like a model or a cool anime character - both fits him so well!

"I um...I was asked to come here -" Taehyung cocks an eyebrow and Jungkook hissed to himself. "I mean...I wanted to say sorry, of course - but it took a while -"

"A while?" 

God, he's so intimidating! 

"Longer than it should, I know but -"

"You just came here cus of her, not cus you're sorry," Jungkook sighed and looks down. He feels small - like his 16-year-old self whenever he got scolded by his hyungs. 

"Hyung, I..." He sighed again. 

The brief images of the younger version of Taehyung, ruffling his hair and telling him that it's okay to whatever mess he was in came into mind. He was always the closest to him, encouraging him. And now they're just two strangers, trying to talk to each other - or more like Jungkook trying to talk to him.

"I um...I'm sorry. I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I did that night. There's not a day that I don't regret what I've done and said. I just...I was drunk and I got a bit overboard. A lot actually, I know. I wanted to apologize so many times but I'm just...I'm ashamed of myself. I had a lot of things in my head and I guess I justified it on my own. I shouldn't have - I should've asked, I know! And I shouldn't have waited this long - I know this too! I can't say why...cus I got nothing. I'm not asking for us to be friends again - I know we can't cus it's been way too long - I just...I just wanted to say that I regretted that night more than you know. It was just my pride that's -"

"I kissed her," Taehyung cuts him off in such a casual tone that Jungkook wondered if he heard it right. The guy's wearing a straight face. He's joking right? He must be - but he was never big on jokes before - "I kissed Lisa. Are you still sorry?"

What? Lisa never mentioned that before - what the fuck?! 

"Or are you gonna punch me again - you look like you're ready for it,"

Lisa...Lisa only ever kissed one man and that is me! He's lying - he's got to be!!

"You don't have to be sorry. I'm not. It's actually a good thing that happened. I wouldn't - couldn't have stayed away if it didn't," Taehyung's eyes fell at the garden, gazing far as if he's recalling an old memory that holds strongly in his chest. "She was always with you - everywhere you go, you'd bring her around. I never paid much attention to her before that but since she started hanging out with us..."

"She was always so talkative...always asking questions...always smiling, laughing. When my mom got sick, she always spoke to me with...I don't know what it was - but it felt nice. It's like she genuinely cared. And I realized that I cared - more than I should, I know. I can't help it,"

"But I kept it to myself. I knew I can't do anything about it cus you were like my brother. There are times when I could control myself but that night...I just couldn't. It's like the more I care for her, the more I feel angry at you. You always bring her around, but there are so many times - even before that night - that I saw her sitting alone, just watching over you - smiling to herself when you're not even paying attention! She was always ready for you whenever you needed her, but you - you're always losing her. So I have to ask myself, after all the thrills and fun are over - is that when you'll look for her?"

"She didn't deserve it - fuck it, you don't deserve her! I was outside, looking in. I pictured myself in your shoes - what would I have done, would I be any different? And I told myself that I'd probably worse than you, but that night...that night...the look on her face when she saw some other girl holding you...I can't forget that,"

"She cried alone. I followed her - a few feet behind, just to make sure she's alright. She kept walking and I thought - I thought it'll be a long walk all the way home! She didn't seem to know where she's going either. She'd stop and I'd hear a loud cry...then she'll walk again. It was painful to watch. Where you found us...I called for her to stop there. I said I'll bring the car and I'll send her home. You know what she said? She said she can't leave, cus you'd be worried,"

"I was angry at you and frustrated at her so I hugged her and she started crying again. I kept saying that it's okay...that it must be a misunderstanding. I told her - that girl, what's her name? - she's always like that to all the guys but it didn't help. She was crying so hard. The more she cried, the more I felt determined. So I said to her...I told her that I'll never do something like that - that I'll never leave her. I asked her to come with me, be with me. I knew my parents were prepping the old house back and I asked her to move here with me and we can build new memories,"

Jungkook stayed silent as he processes all these information. He had his doubts before but this is a whole new level of confession he never expected! 

"It was silly cus we were young and most of the decisions weren't really up to us, I know - but I was serious. She just looked at me...tears in her eyes - she just looked. She didn't say yes but she didn't say no. That's why I asked her again before we left. See, what hurts me most about that night...it wasn't because you punched me so many times. It's the fact that you came in between us just at the right fucking time," Taehyung laughed bitterly, shaking his head.

"I was sure that it was a sign for me to move in...like it's finally there in front of me, so I took the leap. But then you showed up and I got so fucking furious - like one second, everything around us was telling me that I'm the right one for her and then the next...you were there, claiming her back. What exactly was I supposed to do?"

"And you kissed her?" The topic still echoes through his mind and he can't help it.

"No...not that night,"

Jungkook's not sure what he's feeling inside. A bunch of emotions - regret, anger...hint of relief - all jumbled into one giant ball of anxiety, and he didn't know how to put it in words.

"She showed up...after all these years - I don't know how, but she found me...just at the right time. My father's a healthy man...but three months ago he got seriously ill all of a sudden. He's bed-ridden now. I have an apartment in the city but I have to stay here. I hired a nurse to care for him too,"

Jungkook looks up, wide-eyed. "Hyung, I...I'm sorry to hear that,"

For the first time since he entered the house, Taehyung smiled a little.

"Life's too unpredictable. One minute you're living your daily routine - having breakfast before going to work - and the next, you get a phone call from the hospital saying your father collapsed and is in the Emergency unit. I was in a rough state cus he...he's the only parent I have now. It's not just cus I'm the eldest that I felt that I should be more responsible, it's just something I have to do to feel something. I've been working so much that sometimes I forget to call home, and I forget to ask my brother and sister if they're okay,"

Taehyung's voice cracked a little and Jungkook can't help but tearing up a little too, so he looks down to the knotted fingers on his lap to hide his face. His words hits so close to home - when was the last time Jungkook called his own brother? The faces of his mom and dad at the door this morning, seeing him out and reminding him to call came into mind.

"Lisa showed up at the front door 2 nights after I brought father back home. I was in the middle of feeding him cus the nurse had to leave early that day, and she helped me when she found out. She cried when she first poured the milk into the tube. I told her that it's okay, that she didn't have to do it, but you know her - always so persistent to help! We talked here after. She sat right in that seat," Taehyung gestured to him, smiling a little.

"I asked how she's been and she said she's okay. I didn't know if you two are still together so I asked that too. She said yes and that you're doing great,"

Jungkook's heart breaks when he heard it. "She did?" 

The guy nods calmly. "Yeah...but I knew something was wrong. It's the way she said it. So I asked her what is the sudden visit about? She gave me some excuse about traveling around and ended up in Daegu and she remembered that I moved here so she just thought about stopping by,"

All this details are very hard to take in, knowing that she had lied to his parents and now Taehyung. She covered up his mistakes - and for what?

"Hyung, I made a big mistake - I...we broke up four months ago,"

"I know," Taehyung answered immediately. "I wasn't sure that night, but I did a little digging after. I have friends in Seoul too, you know," He smirks at the younger. "She's not good enough for you now?"

"No! No, it's not that -"

"Relax, Kook. We've all made choices we weren't proud of," Taehyung chuckled. "But I'm glad that you weren't together anymore, I won't have to live with the guilt,"

Jungkook didn't understand and it shows on his face.

"We sat and talked like old friends. I um...like I said - I wasn't in my best state - so it felt really nice to have someone to talk to. It's like she understood every word of what I was saying...and feeling...and it brought back those memories. I remember thinking, 'wow, she's still the same girl I fell for 5 years ago - still making me feel so important'. It's like my existence is needed,"

Yeah...that sounds like his Lisa. She never failed on making other people feel like they're the most precious thing in the world!

"So I kissed her,"

Jungkook's fist trembles again unconsciously but he tries his best to control it. If there's anything he learned these past few days with all the remarks from his mom and Jimin...and now Taehyung, is that he's an impulsive prick who's always losing it. And look where he is now...he ended up losing his girl too because of it!

"It was short but she didn't push me away...I think she thought it's necessary for it to happen - like it's been hanging for the longest time and I never actually got the answer I needed. It's probably out of pity, but I'd welcome it anyways...anytime. It's only after I pulled back that I noticed she was crying. She um...she said to me that I'm a good man. That she's lucky to have someone like me loving her for so long...but that she has to go. I think I almost got on my knees for her to stay with me but she said her heart already belongs to you. That it has always been just for you,"

"So you can imagine my frustrations when I found out after that you've been seen going around with Lee Ji-Eun. I let her go that night, thinking she went back home to you - to the one person she said her heart belongs to. But she didn't - I felt so stupid, like I should've fought harder -"

"You couldn't have stopped her -"

"How the fuck would you know that? You can't even be loyal to her - I swear to God," Taehyung took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself or his words. "I honestly think that you two would've broken up a long time ago if it weren't for her patience with you. She held on to you for so long and for what?"

"I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not hurt to hear all this -"

"Hurt? You don't have the right to be hurt - damn it!! You hurt her so many times, did you think about that?!"

"I did!! I did - there's not a day that went by that I didn't! I don't need you to tell me what a loser I am or how - how many fuck-ups I've done with her - I woke up to that shit every day -"

"As you should!!" They're glaring at each other now. "Someone should probably slap the shit out of you a long time ago and do it while you're sober! You asked me to stay away and I did but now - now I won't anymore -"

Jungkook frowns at the elder, trying to gauge the harshness behind the determined remark and stoic expression. He can't be serious -

"You're not together anymore and even if she said that - that was three months ago. She could have moved on -"

"Hyung, what are you saying? She's my girl, how could you say that?"

"She's not your girl anymore, Kook. And we're not friends anymore - we stopped being friends since that night -"

"I know but she's still mine. She's waiting for me to come back -"

Taehyung chuckled bitterly at him. "Waiting for you? Come on...you're so fucking delusional if you think she'll still love you the same after what you've done,"

"I -" Jungkook took another deep breath. He won't get anywhere if they keep bickering like this. He obviously can't blame the guy for his own mistakes. And he can't blame Taehyung for falling for his Lisa as well. It was unintentional...and it happened. Now what? He can't sit around - Lisa left him trails to find her and that's why he's here, facing his past. If he gives in to the argument, he won't get the clues he's searching for.

"Regardless of how bad you think of me - I know, every mistakes I made - I'm paying for it. I can't do anything right without her, my mind's always on her - it's like I'm going crazy, day by day! I love her, with everything I have - I love her. You're right - everyone's right - that I'm selfish and I'm impulsive, and I kept taking her for granted but I...I know that now and I'm willing to do anything to fix it if it means she's with me again. And I know she still loves me - maybe a little, but it's still there, I can feel it," 

"And if she doesn't...well, I don't know what I'm gonna do then but I know I'll know it when I see her. I came here not because I wanna relive everything that happened between us - trust me, I beat myself up over that night a million times before. Losing you is like losing a brother...it was hard but I was young. She wanted me to make amends and she would want me to admit my mistakes, and that's why I'm here,"

"It's...it's okay if you love her too. I mean...what's not to love right? But she said it herself - in words and in actions - that her heart belongs to me. So I hope you can respect that even if it's really hard to accept why she would still pick me after all this time. I just want you to know...that I'm really sorry for that night, for ending our friendship like that. You were my brother, you always took good care of me. I appreciate that so much and I don't know if I'll ever be able to return back the same to you but I hope - I really hope one day you'll let me,"

"It was a phase and you drowned in it,"

"It was...and I did,"

Taehyung fell silent and so does he. The guy stared at him for a few seconds before darting back to the garden view. Jungkook follows suit as thousands of questions ran through his mind. Not a single one could be formed into words.

"Time heals all wounds...and the best place to start healing is from a box of memories and dreams,"

He looks back to the guy.

"That's what she said to me before she left. She said she told you the same too,"