It was as Monkey slunk into the shadows with a maniacal grin and a low chuckle that Tigress first experienced her second thoughts. She waited until Monkey's bright-gold eyesore of a robe faded away before she vocalized them. "Viper," she asked, "Do you think we've made a mistake in giving our resident prankster two completely justified targets?"

Viper tasted the air. "Probably," she said mildly.

Tigress side-eyed her. "Should we care?"

"Probably not," Viper said, shrugging with her neck.

She made no further comment, instead turning towards the theater to find seats. Tigress stared a moment longer, before she too shrugged and turned towards the opera house.

***

The first step to Monkey's plan was to find out how far the guards were along the trail. To that end, Monkey swung and clambered along the rooftops, keeping low enough that none could see him. He made his way steadily over to the guardhouse, stepping lightly not to disturb the roof tiles.

When he arrived, he slowly lowered his head to look through the window. Rhinos milled about various desks and benches, some even slumped against the wall in sleep. He felt a grin stretch across his face. Bored to tears with nothing to do. Perfect.

He pulled back to rest on the rooftop. He cleared his throat a few times and in the highest falsetto he could muster yelled, "Help! Someone's choking on a raisin!" He cast his voice to the far side of the opera house. Monkey sat back in contentment as, in response, a full squadron of rhinoceros (rhinoceroses? Rhinoceri? Rhinos.) came streaming out of the guardhouse in perfect formation.

He ducked back in to check the now unoccupied guardhouse. There were only three guards left, and all of them were snoring loudly. Monkey boldly swung inside. He casually observed the decorations and lack thereof. Finally, he found a note.

It was a blank wanted poster, ripe for framing. Monkey pursed his lips, and pulled out a brush. Thankfully, whatever else the theater guards were, they were well-funded. He palmed a spare inkwell from a desk and began to draw.

All he really needed was a basic head shape with eyes and a few stripes. That probably would have been enough, but just for clarity's sake, he added two small ears, and a set of whiskers. Under the name he wrote 'Unknown,' while under the reward he scrawled 'A Lot of Money.'

Monkey surveyed his work for a moment. He then stared at the rhinoceros that was snoring the loudest. He hummed in thought, before he wiped off 'Money' and instead wrote 'Mun-nee.' There, that would do.

Replacing the borrowed inkwell and pocketing his brush, he took his leave.

Step one accomplished, he surveyed the garden for the guards. By now they were returning back to their base of operations. Monkey squinted and then gaped as he saw one of them holding a raisin.

Shaking himself out of disbelief, he thought. Step two would have to wait until the new wanted poster had time to circulate, and they had more time to become frustrated. So option number one was to whittle away the hours and stay safely out of sight. Boring, but perfectly doable. option number two on the other hand, and he grinned as he thought it, was to stir the pot himself.

His decision made as soon as it occurred to him.

***

It was nearing sunset by the time Tigress and Viper came out of the theater.

Tigress came out of her second opera satisfied but slightly weary. The truly high notes were starting to sound shrill to her sensitive ears. The last one that she and Viper had attended: 'The Drunken Concubine,' was, in retrospect, never truly going to be Tigress' cup of tea. At least the stunts were impressive.

Her weariness vanished, replaced by wariness as soon as she stepped out of the theater.

The garden was awash with activity, but almost none of it was the regular hustle of a busy tourist attraction. Snack vendors were still peddling their wares, but with the stretched smiles of someone forcing themselves to do something. The guests were mostly continuing with their own business, but they kept glancing around over their shoulders, as if expecting a phantom to emerge from the opera.

The guards who supervised and kept peace among the theater-goers surveyed the crowds with hawk-eyed glares. One of them was palming their mace in clear, eager anticipation. A few were sniffing both the air and the guests, hoping to find the scent of whatever dangerous criminal they apparently pursued.

Tigress and Viper looked to each other. "Do you think. . ." Viper started.

"Who else could it be?" Tigress asked rhetorically.

Without a further word, they turned and walked down the length of the garden. Once they passed the third pillar, Monkey strode alongside them.

"So," Tigress said, "do you actually have a plan, or are you just making this up?"

"Oh it's both." Monkey said. At Tigress' questioning glance he shrugged. "I have a plan, but I have to make up the steps."

"Then phase one seems to be going well," Tigress remarked. Monkey grinned.

Viper stared questioningly. "Should we be anywhere near you or this whole place when phase thirteen happens?"

Monkey waved a paw and scoffed. "Thirteen? Do I look like the thirteen-phase-plan kinda guy to you? No, just two, maybe three phases at most. But trust me, you're going to want a close seat when the fireworks happen!"

"Fireworks," Tigress repeated plainly.

"Not 'fireworks' fireworks, but like, metaphorical fireworks. Trust me."

Viper glared. "How is it that every time you say 'trust me,' I get the urge to do the opposite?"

Monkey grinned and leaned in closer. "Trust me."

Viper hissed, and Monkey leaned back away. Laughing to himself, he slipped back into the crowd and out of sight. The pair watched him, as his robes somehow blended into the sea of rioting colors.

Viper made a thoughtful hum and observed the pink and orange sky. "It's starting to get late," she noted. "I don't know about you, but I really don't want be near Monkey when this whole thing blows up. I don't care how big of a jerk that nobleman was, it isn't worth getting dragged into this mess."

"Probably wise of you," Tigress said. "I still have one more opera to see for the night. I might as well see if Monkey's three-step plan blows up in his face while I'm at it." At Viper's concerned look, she waved a paw. "I'm sure that whatever ends up happening, it will be contained to either him or Lu Fei." The name still tasted sour on her tongue.

Viper nodded, but didn't look convinced. "Alright then. If you're sure. I'm going to head back to the inn."

The two wished each other well and parted. Tigress watched Viper slink into the crowd and reflected. Viper's concerns were legitimate. It wasn't all that uncommon for Monkey's pranks to go overboard. It was only slightly less common for said pranks to end up affecting the entire group of students.

At the same time, Tigress did have that third play to see. And if she just so happened to spy an entitled rich brat get comeuppance, even better.

The tense atmosphere that Viper and her had noted early had strained nearly to breaking. The guards had established a full checkpoint, complete with volunteer dogs trying to sniff our contraband. The nobles that typically frequented the opera were not taking this well. Loud arguments were being had over the indignity of being treated like a known criminal.

Tigress grimaced as she started to walk towards the exit. Monkey dropped to her side not a moment later. "I wouldn't leave just yet if I were you," he said.

Tigress rolled her eyes. "Is it because you have something to be worried about?"

Monkey shook his head. "Just wait. Any minute now, it'll go off." He squinted, scanning the crowd. He pointed, saying "See? Targets are in sight."

Tigress followed his finger. There, on the other end was Lu Fei, walking with an apparently aged snake. He must have been the noble that Viper had accosted earlier. It somehow didn't surprise Tigress to learn that the two knew each other. Tigress could have strained her ears to listen in on their conversation, but she doubted it would be something pleasant to hear.

Lu Fei straightened and looked around. He met Tigress' stare, and began to saunter across the courtyard, much to Tigress' rising irritation.

"We meet again, my dear," he called.

"Mister Lu," Tigress greeted as flatly as possible.

"Please, please, my dear Tigress, call me Fei," Lu Fei said, holding his hand to his heart. His gaze flicked over to Monkey. "I don't believe we've been introduced yet."

Monkey bowed politely before spreading his arms wide. "You may address me as The Great Kung Fu Artist Monkey, of the Four Fists! Or simply Monkey the Great, if you're feeling familiar."

"charmed," Lu Fei said flatly. He returned his attention to Tigress. "We never quite finished our discussion from earlier, did we?"

"Didn't we," Tigress asked rhetorically. "I seem to recall you being dismissed by my master. It seemed conclusive enough."

Lu Fei scoffed and shot her a grin. "I prefer to hear your own thoughts. Ignoring your fiance, ignoring your master, what would you like, hmm? I can offer you so many things. Money? I have enough to give you a life of leisure. Status? My family has faithfully served the emperor for generations." His eyes traveled up and down her figure. Tigress suppressed a shudder. "A more. . . personal accommodation, perhaps?"

Tigress nearly gagged. She glared at the tiger. "I'm not good at courtly politic, or talking around answers, so let me speak plainly." Lu Fei's eyebrow rose. "My answer is no. Even if I had no master, even if I had no fiance, my answer is no. If I had free reign to chose who I love, I can guarantee that you would not be on that list."

Lu Fei's eyes flashed, and his lips curled into a snarl. The expression lasted less than a second, leaving Tigress to wonder if she had imagined it. He then chuckled lowly. "You speak honestly when you say that you don't have much experience in being courtly. After all," Lu Fei locked eyes with Tigress, and she could see once again the burning anger, even beyond the charming smile, "No one says no forever."

Tigress' claws slid out. She felt a hiss begin to rise from her throat, but paused as she felt Monkey grab her hand. He wasn't grinning. He merely shook his head. Tigress took a deep breath and returned her gaze to Lu Fei. "If that is all, then I believe our business is done. Kindly leave us to our conversation."

Lu Fei opened his mouth to retort, but a raspy voice stopped him. "You never do know when to bow out Lu Fei." Approaching them was the snake that Viper had been approached by earlier.

"Fu Xuan," Lu Fei greeted curtly. "I don't recall inviting you to join in."

Mister Fu bowed and smiled. "I, however, do remember telling you to stop chasing after inferior stock." He swiveled his head to look at Tigress. "My dear," he said, patronizingly sweet, "if you'd forgive this boy's rashness."

The snake then pulled Lu Fei away, though not without one final glance. Tigress took a deep breath in. "I was worried at first that you'd go to far," Tigress admitted aloud. "Now I'm worried if you went far enough."

Monkey stuck his tongue out at their retreating backs. "Trust me," he said, "This is going to be glorious!" The two of them began to walk towards the exit, keeping the pair of aristocrats in eyesight.

As the nobles approached the exit, and the guardpost set up there, tigress felt her stomach churn. Whatever happened next, it would not be a small incident that could be easily swept under the rug.

"Watch this," Monkey said to her. He cupped his hands to his mouth and called. "Hey Fei, check your pockets!"

Lu Fei paused, and turned. He spotted the source of the voice and rolled his eyes. He fished through his robes anyways, finding an odd lump in one of the pockets. Pulling out the foreign object, he held it up to the light for study. It looked like an almond coo-

"OUTSIDE FOOD!"

Tigress didn't even blink, and she still wasn't sure if she caught the moment in full. In the span of a single heartbeat, where once stood a tiger of fine standing and arrogant demeanor and an old viper, no stood a rhino putting a length of scales into an impossibly complex headlock, and a dog-pile of rhinoceros that was steadily adding to its mass.

Her hand clamped itself over her mouth in shock. It was only thanks to Monkey pulling her away from the ever-increasing pile of rhinos that she moved at all. One of the dogs looked at the two of them but offered no further scrutiny.

Monkey led her out of the famed Peach Garden and into the city. When they ducked into an alleyway, Monkey finally let go. He looked out back and forth, and finallyturned back to Tigress when the coast was clear. "Okay, and now."

Tigress let her hand rest on the wall as she finally let out her laughter. She was doubled over in almost silent gasps for a few moments, tears even streaming from her eyes.

Monkey grinned at her as her laughs died from hysterics to mere chuckles. He held out his hands grandly. "So?" he asked leadingly.

Tigress smiled. "That will do, Monkey. That will do."

***

Tigress returned back to the hotel with a satisfied smile and a warmth in her chest. She felt lighter, almost, as though something was buoying her up from inside. That inner levity came crashing down as she entered her room.

There were three things she immediately noticed. The first was an opened letter tied with red string. The second was her own letter, not yet sealed. The third was Viper, happily reading them both.

"Oh Ancestors no." Tigress hadn't realized she'd spoken the thought aloud until she saw Viper slowly turn her way with a giant, almost manic grin.

"Tigress," Viper said sweetly. "When were you going to tell me about your friend?"

Tigress simply stepped back and shut the door.