"Do you think it'll ever get easier?" Conrad Fishers voice filled the silence of Betty Grahams bedroom, his hands crossed over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. She was laying beside him, practically identical as they just sat in the comfort of not being alone anymore. She considered his question, she considered what he could possibly be talking about and then she realized she knew what it was, and she sucked in a short breath as she thought about it. He let her take her time, there was no rush to anything anymore. There was nothing. 

"I like to think so. It'll never go away but I think it'll get easier. And you're strong enough to live with it." Betty said, meaning every word. Conrad felt his chest tighten at her words, calling him strong...no one treated him that way anymore. It had always only been her. She believed in him the way no one else did. Not even Belly, Belly always assumed the worst from him and loved him anyways. Betty  always thought he was better than he was. There was a huge difference.

Her words reminded him of what Jeremiah had said, and he felt his heart pull and his stomach turn. It was painful to be treated that way by his own brother, and while he knew he hadn't been the best this week, he'd attempted to give Jeremiah the grace to handle his grief. Jeremiah couldn't return the favor. Jeremiah weaponized it against him.

"I fucked this all up.  I fucked it all up so bad. I should've just—" Betty turned over on her side as he spoke, shaking her head as he began to do what he always did, taking the blame of everything onto his shoulders and shoving it deep down to fester for as long as it could before it got unbearable. She looked at him and didn't even have the energy to try and hate him anymore. For the first time in so very long she just decided to go with it.

"Hey, hey...shhh. Connie it's okay. You know how hard you tried? You have been putting so much effort into everything for so long while trying to act like you don't. You tried so hard. That's not lost on anybody. That's not lost on me."

"Jeremiah thinks I didn't try hard enough. He called me a coward, told me pretty much that he hates me." Betty's hand was pressed against his chest, his eyes still on the ceiling as he felt some emotion fill him. It had been a long time since he'd cried, but he thought maybe this was the right time. And this was the only person he felt vulnerable enough to do it around. This was the only person he knew wouldn't judge him.

"Jeremiah is wrong. You're not a coward. You showed up with no plan and no help here by yourself, you were going to fight this alone—that's no coward. You —you kept your moms sickness a secret so that your brother could have one last good summer with her and that's stronger than anything I've ever witnessed because I  can't imagine how hard it was to sit in that knowledge in silence. I know you were hurting. And then the fact that you are even here right now, living through the hardest loss of your life, and you're still breathing and standing and eating is enough to say that you're not a coward. Jeremiah is just angry because he doesn't know how to handle your grief. Jeremiah is just angry because he has his own grief to handle. He's mad because he's hurting...don't forget that either." When she finished there was a silence that she couldn't describe, like he was feeling her words. He looked up at her and their eyes met, the girl feeling a rush of emotion in her heart before he pulled his head to her chest, her arms wrapping around his head in an effort to support him. She stroked his hair as he felt all of his feelings and in the comfort of her embrace he didn't feel as bad as he'd felt for so long.

They stayed like this for a long time, Conrad feeling genuinely supported for the first time since his mother had died. He wasn't sure how Betty could look at him and give him this compassion, she was so angry with him the day before. Maybe it was just the  fact that Jack had hurt her again, maybe that was why she was being so kind. He wasn't sure, but he knew this was the only place he wanted to be at the moment.

The sound of loud music could be heard from her bedroom and it only reminded the both of them of the past. How close they had been all along and just how far away they would be now. They'd never be neighbors again, his chances of seeing her would go down to hardly anything because they'd live so far.  He couldn't bear to think of the fact that he wouldn't see her. That he wouldn't walk to his bedroom window and see her smiling face waving at him. Jeremiah had asked him once how he had held onto something for so long, the two of them hadn't been a couple for years now. He held on because he loved her, no matter how hard he tried not to.

"I can't believe we lost." He said, and his lip trembled as he finished. She shushed him again and he turned his head into her stomach, his hand going for her hips as he actually began to cry. She felt a tear drop to her stomach and her heart broke into a million piece, her face scrunching up into one of pure compassion as she held him a little tighter.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. I'm so sorry." She said, shaking her head slightly as he cried into her shirt, her hand running over his hair as she tried to soothe him. He needed this, she knew he did, he'd been bottling up so much emotion and he needed to cry, to be held and know he was loved while he did it. "It's okay...I've got you. I've got you."

It was silent for awhile, the only sound being his sniffles and their breaths and rustling fabric as they moved every few minutes. Betty closed her eyes and gave him the safety he needed to cry, to let it all out, and she was surprised he didn't say more. He seemed like he would have a lot to say. After the crying obviously stopped she ran her hand over the back of his hair before she pulled back, holding his face in her hands and giving him a soft smile.

"You feel a little better?" She asked, her eyes bright with care and genuine concern for him. She would never be able to stop loving him, it was so painfully clear. His nose was red and his face flushed and his eyes were still wet and he looked so sweet and sad. He nodded a little bit, reaching around her hand to wipe at his face before he leaned up, lifting his chin to reach her. It was natural, his lips pressing softly to hers and it made sense, it was like everything aligned perfectly. It was just like it used to be. He pulled back and she let out a sigh, sliding down to lay beside him, laying her head on his chest. She gripped his shirt in her hand, staring at the fabric of it as she spoke again. "Jack left me."

"I know...Steven told me. Are you okay?" Conrad knew Jack, and he knew what Jack meant to Betty. He felt almost bad for doing this, and he knew it was his fault that she was hurting.

"I'm sad...I really do care about him. I have love for him. I miss him." She said, letting out a couple breaths before she looked at him. "I'm starting to worry that you're the reason I can't find anybody."

"Me? How is it my fault?" He asked with a hint of humor in his tone, his head shaking slightly as he looked down at her.

"I don't know. Destined to be or something...every time I find something good  you just come back to haunt me." She said, noting his humorous approach and smiling a little bit.

"Destined to be together? Like true love? That's why nothing works out for either of us?" He said, laughing a little bit in the middle. "I think we're just toxic."

"Toxic? Us? Never..." She said, rolling her eyes as his words and pulling him closer to her.  Her face softened significantly and she looked over his face, her heart fluttering as being so close to him again.  "What does this mean?"

"This? I don't—I don't know. I want to be with you...I don't know what that's gonna look like. Can we just—"

"I want to be with you. But things are about to change and you and Belly—" Conrad shook his head at the mention of Belly, his heart sinking.

"She has nothing to do with this. I'm over that. I know what I want and it's you and it was always you." He said, his head dipping to press his mouth to the side of her jaw. Her eyes closed as she heard him out, her heart too weak to resist.

"We should not label it. We're together but we're not because we don't know what the future is." She said, suggesting it. Conrad pulled back from her jaw, shaking his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I want you to be with me. I want you to be my girlfriend."

"Yeah but until we figure out your whole situation..." Betty said, trying to convince him to listen to her. He looked at her like it was killing him what she was saying, his eyes wide and desperate.

"Fine...no label. But we're together. Just unofficially."

"I'm giving you a last chance. This is your last chance. Don't fuck it up." Betty said, giving him a serious look, her eyes betraying her vulnerability.

"I'm gonna try my hardest."