• Two Idiots •

Understanding a person is like peeling away layers of an onion, one at a time. Initially, we see only the outermost layer—the smiles, the small talk, the surface interests. It's a glimpse, a mere introduction to who they are. But as trust builds, these layers start to shed, revealing deeper dimensions—their fears, their dreams, their vulnerabilities, their secrets, their dark thoughts.

It's a powerful feeling to know that someone trusts you, that someone sees you as their safe place—their confidant. They trust you with their innermost thoughts and feelings, knowing you'll hold them gently, without judgment. To be entrusted with such blind faith is a beautiful responsibility, a testament to the strength of your connection.

Aadarsh sat at the dining table with his phone in his hand displaying his emails and a cup of tea beside him but his gaze was trained on his wife. It had been over a month since Ruhaani had confided in him, since she had voluntary shared with him about Pari's birth.

Ever since then, he saw her in a newer dimension. She shared snippets of her past with him—her feelings, her sadness, her bitter moments, her longings.

They had even had a conversation about Harsh. She had been reluctant initially, but he had nudged her to be open. She told him about the first time she had met him, of how she had taken to liking at first sight. The green monster had seized him so badly back then. She had liked Harsh instantly, but when it came to him, she had almost rejected him at their first meeting.

"Not being petty, but I look better than him." Aadarsh pointed out as the green-eyed monster spat out fire.

Ruhaani glanced at him with a smile, "you said you'd not compare," she reminded him of her condition that she had placed to share about her past, about Harsh— which he had accepted.

"Just stating facts, not comparing. You got an upgrade," he murmured, idly tracing circles on her fingers as they lounged entwined against the plush headboard of their bed.

Ruhaani chuckled, "in a way, but Harsh was a very kind person. You know the kind who will voluntarily offer help and make sure the other person is comfortable. I loved that about him."

"Yeah, and here I am, tormenting people with just a glance," Aadarsh murmured wryly.

Ruhaani leaned back slightly, a playful glint in her eyes as she gazed up at him. "You're so cute," she muttered, reaching up to pinch his cheeks.

"Shut up," Aadarsh muttered, teasingly withdrawing his arm from around her to gently push away her hands.

"Hey, I love you, no matter how stubborn, annoying, sometimes immature, and occasionally inconsiderate—" Ruhaani continued with a grin, her words flowing playfully.

Aadarsh couldn't help but smile at her rambling and leaned in to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, effectively silencing her. She responded with a smile against his lips, her playful spirit shining through.

"Wow," Ruhaani uttered, once he broke the mind-numbing good kiss. She didn't even realize how she had ended up being against the mattress with him deliciously pressed against her body.

They gazed at each other. "How I wish I was your first!" he said softly, "...and you were mine."

Ruhaani smiled at his words, reaching up to affectionately caress his cheek, "Maybe we were meant to be each other's forever."

Aadarsh's lips curled up radiantly and he kissed her forehead. "You definitely know how to say the right thing at the right time just like you know how to push my buttons."

Ruhaani chuckled, "I see no buttons," she said with a playful smile taking his words at their literal meaning, as her hand caressed the white vest he wore.

Aadarsh smiled at her, she looked beautiful, especially when her eyes shone with love for him. "Gosh, Ruhaani what I am going to do with you!"

"Right now, I would let you do anything you like," she whispered seductively and that made Aadarsh chuckle before he sat up to get rid of his clothes and help her out of hers.

Aadarsh quietly observed Ruhaani from behind his cup of tea, which she had lovingly prepared for him. He knew he would never tire of witnessing her nurture their children. If anything, his admiration for her maternal instincts had deepened significantly since learning about her past. Parenting was undeniably challenging, an experience he knew firsthand, yet she effortlessly made it appear seamless and innate.

Currently, Ruhaani sat at the dining table with Mukti and Pari on either side, diligently assisting them with their homework.

Pari only took her homework seriously when she saw Mukti and Nirvaan doing the same. As a result, Ruhaani had established a routine of gathering at the dining table in the late evenings to assist the children with their studies. Although a tutor was still employed, Nirvaan was the only one who diligently followed her instructions. Mukti and Pari, on the other hand, often sought Ruhaani's attention, which sometimes meant being scolded—they were mischievous girls at heart.

"You got them all right!" exclaimed Aparna, the tutor—a diligent final-year college student pursuing her B.Ed—as she glanced over the sums Nirvaan had completed.

Aadarsh's gaze shifted gently to the other side of the table, where Nirvaan sat beside his tutor. Nirvaan wore a proud smile and locked eyes with Ruhaani, who had also looked up at Aparna's voice. It was heartwarming to witness their strong bond. Nirvaan always shared his successes and setbacks with Ruhaani, no matter how small, and she always celebrated or comforted him accordingly. Presently, she gave him a quick high-five, and he beamed with pride.

"Good job," he whispered softly, his hand caressing Nirvaan's hair. He sensed Ruhaani's eyes on him and quickly turned to meet her gaze. She smiled at his gesture, a silent encouragement to show more affection towards the children. She often reminded him that such small acts carried profound meaning. Then swiftly, she shifted her attention back to scolding Pari for not writing her alphabets neatly on the line.

He savored the last sip of his tea, feeling contentment wash over him. Life had settled back into its familiar rhythm. Changes were unfolding, each finding its place in the new normal.

Pari had eagerly started at her new school. She had embraced her tomboy hairstyle with newfound fondness. Seeing her, Mukti was now contemplating whether she should also opt for a haircut. Mukti had also developed a fondness for her professional classical dance classes, which took place three days a week.

While everyone else in the family experienced new developments, Nirvaan remained unchanged, he still spent time with books, wildlife documentaries and gardening when he was not playing chess. Surprisingly, Ruhaani was becoming better at chess, the fact that their games went on for more than thirty minutes and a stretch now was a testament to that.

Meanwhile, Abhi was settling into his new home and adjusting to the time zone, which placed him far from the rest of the family. Despite the distance, he maintained regular contact, calling them once every thirty-six hours. His conversations with Ruhaani often extended to thirty minutes on average.

However, Aadarsh was growing increasingly irritated by the timing of Abhi's calls, which frequently coincided with their bedtime or early mornings — moments he cherished for private, intimate time with Ruhaani. If there was anything constant, it was Abhi's awfully bad timing, almost always interrupting an intimate moment between him and Ruhaani.

Ashvi had become more focused on her college studies and career aspirations, dedicating herself to extra credit projects and preparing for her upcoming semester in Paris, now just seven weeks away. Although Aadarsh had been skeptical about how she'd handle herself in a new country where she knew nobody, he was now gradually gaining confidence in her. He saw her growing commitment and maturity, recognizing that she was earnestly taking charge of her career and life to materialize her dreams. As her elder brother and guardian, he felt genuine pride in her growing sensibility and determination. He couldn't help but wonder if she had drawn inspiration from Abhi. Perhaps.

Badi Bua and Phupha Ji were considering a permanent move-in with them. During the few days they had spent living with the family, they discovered they enjoyed the lively company of the kids more than the quiet solitude of their retirement days in their apartment.

Amidst all these shifts and changes, it was Shelly Bua who had stunned everyone after her prolonged silence, by revealing she was dating a hotelier in Goa. The revelation that left them all grappling with surprise. Ruhaani, however, had overcome the shock swiftly and found solace in the fact that Shelly Bua's newfound happiness meant less time for nitpicking her faults.

He placed his cup down and focused on his screen typing a reply to the email. He was yet to fully accustom himself to the changes at work that would set in once Devashish left.

His workload had significantly doubled up as he took over few of Devashish's responsibilities while Devashish trained his replacement.

It was a bitter feeling to let Devashish go. But it was the right thing. Pari's kidnapping had been a rude wake up call for him. Something from four years back had come like a fast speeding meteor to uproot his life and had threatened to snatch away what he loved most. He would be a fool to not change things, to avoid such situations in the future. It had to start with addressing the root of the problem, changing his ways of work.

Aadarsh knew that he'd never really get a replacement for Devashish. No one would ever come close to giving him the respect, loyalty and honesty that Devashish devoted to him.

In life, there are those rare moments when you meet someone and instantly forge a connection that defies labels. It's a bond built on trust, loyalty, and an innate desire to see each other thrive. This relationship, though nameless, holds a depth that words struggle to capture.

He had that with Devashish. It was a bond that transcended titles or categories, grounded in a shared understanding and a genuine care for each other's welfare.

He'd never forget how Devashish had saved Pari just in the nick of time, risking his own life. It would always remain embedded in his heart and mind.

However, Devashish also had his vices— the wicked recklessness, dangerous adventures and immoral indulgences. There was a time when Aadarsh was able to justify them, perhaps even tilt and borrow a few of those things into his own life. But now, there was nothing more important and worthwhile than his family.

Aadarsh had to let go off Devashish and all his ways that he passively accepted to thrive in his business. It would be hard but not impossible. Perhaps he would loose money and strong influencing connections that Devashish brought to the table, but it was a loss he would willingly accept. He never again wanted to be the reason any harm came to his family. One guilt—of being the reason Pari had faced the worst ever night of her life and Ruhaani had come close to the feeling the pain of losing a loved again— was enough to torture him a lifetime. He'd never entirely forgive himself for it.

***

"You seem awfully busy these days," Ruhaani remarked, emerging from the wardrobe in her night attire—a pair of capris and one of his t-shirts that was oversized for her. Monsoon rains had enveloped the day, leaving the night chilled and damp. There was absolutely nothing in her wardrobe that could compete with the warmth she felt upon wearing her husband's shirts and t-shirts.

Aadarsh, seated on the edge of the bed engrossed in his phone, glanced up at her slowly. Her loosely braided hair cascaded over one shoulder as she approached him, clad in his snug grey full-sleeved t-shirt.

"Just a minute," he murmured, briefly returning his attention to whatever held him captive on the screen.

Ruhaani quietly switched off the bright blue tube lights, leaving only the soft golden glow of the false ceiling illuminating the room. She settled on his side of the bed, beside him, watching as his fingers moved swiftly across his phone screen.

Her gaze lingered on the way his black locks fell over the furrows on his forehead. He appeared more stressed than usual, ever since he had asked Devashish to resign. In all the months she had known him, she had never seen him bring work home like this.

Deciding not to disturb him further, she rose to move around the bed to her own side when his fingers wrapped around her wrist firmly. She glanced at him as he gave one long look to his screen and then kept it away, turning to look at her.

"Aadarsh, finish whatever you were doing. It must be important if you're bringing it to bed," she gently urged.

"Nothing is more important than spending time with you," he replied softly, gently tugging her hand to draw her close.

Ruhaani stood close to him, a smile gracing her face, her fingers delicately threading through his soft hair. It had been weeks since she last did this, and she was relieved to see his hair returning to its usual style, perhaps slightly softer than before.

"I got my periods," she informed him softly. Her periods had been uncharacteristically late. She had freaked out and shared the realization with him two days back. She had almost believed it was the consequence of their reckless indulgences.

They had both been anxious because they hadn't broached the topic of having a baby. They had their hands full with three kids already. However they had put off talking about it, quietly hoping it wasn't a pregnancy.

She slowly settled onto the mattress, turning towards him. Their eyes locked, silently acknowledging that they couldn't avoid this conversation any longer.

"You want to talk about it?" Aadarsh voiced his thoughts. He had wanted to avoid the conversation about it, but he knew he had to talk it out. More than anything, he knew it would be eating her mind until they addressed it. Ruhaani's mind didn't function like his, she liked to deal with a situation the moment it hit her, there was no stepping back and looking at the situation with her. She preferred tackling issues head-on as they arose, without delay.

She nodded gently. "You don't want to yet?" Ruhaani had understood one thing, and that was Aadarsh needed time to sink in unexpected situation and then form a convincing modus operandi in his way to deal with it. What she once mistook as avoidance was, in hindsight his way of dealing and facing a situation at hand, it was just his way to process things that were not necessarily foreseen.

"Ruh," he murmured, resting his forehead on her shoulder. "I want you to be healthy and safe always. Your health comes first for me. Pregnancy is a scary monster to me. Besides we already have three kids for our family."

"I know." Ruhaani said quietly, she had anticipated this to come. One unexpected pregnancy had taken his mother away from him. She had sensed his apprehension from the moment she had told him about her delayed periods, noting how he had paled. His silence afterward only confirmed her suspicions.

She tenderly traced her fingers down the back of his head to his neck, offering comfort. "I understand. It's practical to not think of having an addition to our family."

Aadarsh slowly withdrew from her shoulder, tilting her chin upwards so their eyes met. "But?" he prompted gently.

Ruhaani released a deep sigh. "I never even thought of carrying a baby ever since I had Pari. Then again, I never thought of having a husband either. But, now...I have you and I feel like...maybe ... maybe I do want to experience motherhood biologically. I mean...it's frightening, no doubt, but the thought of us creating a life together, makes me want it."

Aadarsh's fingers intertwined with hers as he tenderly held her hand. "Let's take some time to think it over, Ruh. I don't want us to rush into anything."

"Hmm, sounds like a good plan. What if I gain weight and never lose it again?" she quipped, trying to lighten the mood between them. "I might never get the privilege of being carried around by you."

A smile cracked Aadarsh's serious face, "That's what you're worried about?"

Ruhaani looked up at him, a smile playing on her lips. "That, and a whole lot of other things. It's going to be strange seeing my body undergo such a drastic transformation in just nine months and something coming to life inside me."

Aadarsh's smile faded as swiftly as it had come. She was distracting him from his thoughts, his fears. He slowly shifted closer and hugged her as tightly as he could. He couldn't bare the thought of fate taking her away from him. He had lost many people he used to love, he couldn't imagine losing Ruhaani.

Ruhaani blinked back tears, feeling the weight of his fears. It was touching to feel someone care for her so deeply, their fear of losing her so palpable.

Frankly, she was in a dilemma. She couldn't help but wrestle with conflicting emotions. They had finally found happiness and a sense of normalcy together, and she questioned whether her desire for more was selfish. She sometimes wondered if she was being too greedy.

"Aadarsh, let's revisit this conversation a year from now, okay? It'll give us time to decide if we truly want to welcome another little human into our lives. But no avoiding it later, deal?" Ruhaani proposed gently.

"Sounds like a plan," he replied, pulling away slightly. "But in the meantime, maybe you should get a checkup done to ensure there are no potential complications if we decide to wait."

Ruhaani looked at him with a mixture of affection and confusion. Despite his fears, he was considering her well-being and desires. "Are you sure about this? If you're not..."

"Ruhaani, you make a great mother. And if you want to experience those parts of motherhood that you've not experienced before, I am going to stick by your side and make sure you get what your heart longs for. And maybe, a part of me wants to experience that nascent parenthood with you. Even if it means enduring nine months of worry for your health, putting up with your mood swings and cravings, and dealing with sexual deprivation."

Tears blurred Ruhaani's vision as she smiled and then playfully shoved him back.

He grinned, wiping away the tears on her cheeks, "and if you're done with your moody display of happy tears, how about hot chocolate? It's been a while and the weather is perfect."

She nodded smilingly, "provided I get at least three flattering compliments."

"Hmm, that's stretching a bit too far, isn't it?"

"Get lost. Go make your own hot chocolate then." Ruhaani shoved him back and got up.

Aadarsh chuckled and swiftly got off the bed, following her out of the room. He caught up with her and draped his arm around her shoulders, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Is this better than a compliment? Because I can do this all day!"

"Shh, everyone's sleeping," Ruhaani whispered as they descended the stairs.

Entering the dimly lit kitchen, Aadarsh pulled her closer by her hips and maneuvered her against the wall. He stood before her, his palm resting against the tiled surface, effectively trapping her between his body and the wall.

"What's gotten into you?" She whispered with a soft chuckle, glancing up at him.

He smiled at her, "wanted to do this," he whispered, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. After a brief kiss, he smiled, breaking the contact between their lips.

"That's not enough," Ruhaani mumbled as he broke the kiss too soon.

"Hot chocolate first," Aadarsh murmured, "hot kisses later," stepping away to switch on the lamp above the kitchen island.

"You're such a tease," Ruhaani grumbled, walking over to the fridge, a stupid smile plastered over her face.

A few minutes later, Ruhaani was preparing the beverage while Aadarsh stood nearby, observing her closely.

"You're making me nervous, watching me like a hawk," she remarked, glancing over at him.

Aadarsh chuckled softly. "Last time, you claimed to have put poison in my hot chocolate, remember?"

Ruhaani's lips curled up at the memory and she glanced up at him, "And yet here you are,"

"And yet, here I am. I'm beginning to think it wasn't poison but some sort of potion," he said softly, shifting closer to her. "Because ever since then, I just..." Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered with his breath warm against her ear, "I can't seem to stop falling for you."

Ruhaani closed her eyes briefly, savoring his touch and the comfort of his embrace. It felt like a piece of heaven just to be with him, feeling his presence so intimately.

"I actually enjoyed your company that night," she confessed softly, as she went back to stirring the mixture of ingredients in the milk.

"Makes the two of us." He spoke, momentarily leaving her side to fetch two cups.

She poured the rich, simmering liquid into the cups, the deep brown color inviting and comforting. Handing one to him, she remarked with a playful tone, "You were quite rude that night, just so you know." Leading the way out to the backyard through the kitchen's backdoor, Ruhaani walked ahead.

Aadarsh followed, propping the door open with a brick before joining her on the steps. This time, he settled directly behind her instead of beside her. "I recall complimenting your hot chocolate," he countered with a grin.

"Tolerable, that's what you said," she said turning such that she used his leg as her back support.

"It's one of the best I have had— that's what I had said." He spoke slanting his gaze to meet hers. "And I stick to it. The hot chocolate you make is the best I have ever had and now my favorite beverage on a cold night."

Ruhaani felt a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. Just as she had felt the first time around he had complimented her. Aadarsh gently raised his fingers to sweep the loose strands on her cheek and push them behind her ear. They had come a long way from that night to this.

"We almost kissed that night," she said softly. She had always wondered what he had felt about that powerful moment of pure attraction.

Aadarsh wore a smile, as he took another sip, "I knew you were always attracted to me,"

"And you weren't?" she teased, half playfully, half genuinely curious.

Aadarsh smiled and shook his head, refusing to answer. He looked away as he savored the warmth of the drink melting on his tongue, relishing both the moment and the flavor. From avoiding her to sharing his deepest thoughts and feelings with her, it had been quite the journey.

"Aadarsh," Ruhaani tapped his thigh gently, prompting him. "Answer."

"Drink your hot chocolate while it's still hot," he mumbled, pretending to be engrossed in his drink, knowing it would annoy her.

Ruhaani sighed in resignation, taking a sip from her cup while gazing at the tree whose leaves rustled in the midnight breeze. The earthy scent after rain mingled with the delicious aroma of hot chocolate, complemented by the subtle fragrance of Aadarsh's cologne that lingered on his t-shirt she wore.

"I had meant to tease you that night, I knew what I was doing," Aadarsh finally spoke after several minutes of silence, having finished his hot chocolate. "I knew you were attracted to me; it was quite obvious."

Ruhaani felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She berated herself for not being able to conceal the undeniable attraction he had ignited within her. Setting her cup down, she looked up at him. "You were so mean to do that."

Aadarsh carefully set his cup down next to hers and then tenderly caressed her cheek with his knuckles, his eyes warm with affection. "You have no idea how gratifying it was to see you react to my closeness and touches." Her breath hitched as his thumb gently rubbed over her the corners of her lips, wiping the traces of chocolate; earning a heartfelt smile for him.

"Initially, I almost thought you were immune to my charms. Remember the engagement? You looked at me like you'd be poisoned if you kissed me on the cheek. I was so disappointed," he reminisced with a playful smile.

Ruhaani beamed up at him with amusement filled eyes. "I hardly knew you. What else would you expect?"

"It was our engagement and all eyes were on us. You could have been coy about it and complied like I did. I didn't fancy kissing you then, but I still did. However you gave me the look that you were being forced to kiss a frog..."

Ruhaani burst into soft peals of laughter, her hand resting on his thigh. "I was, technically, forced."

"It was our engagement!" Aadarsh protested.

"Exactly! It wasn't a Christian wedding altar where kissing was expected. For the record, back then I didn't fancy you either," she pointed out.

Aadarsh huffed playfully. "Was I really that bad?"

"No, not at all," Ruhaani reassured him. "It's just that we didn't really know each other back then. You wear a shield around people you don't know. There's no way to know the real you. Maybe we should have taken more time to get to know each other before getting married," she mused.

Aadarsh chuckled. "We wouldn't have worked out then."

"Why not?" Ruhaani turned to him with curiosity.

"Because then you wouldn't have had the opportunity to gawk me in nothing but a towel to be attracted to me, to fancy me," Aadarsh teased, stressing on the last three words.

Ruhaani gave his leg a playful shove, a mixture of amusement and mock irritation on her face. "I didn't gawk."

"Ruhaani, quit denying. I know exactly how fast the color shows on your cheeks and how erratic your breathing becomes, and precisely how yours lips part, when you are thinking about me in..."

"Oh shut up! You're delusional. How full of yourself are you, exactly?" she interrupted his words.

Aadarsh grinned, "I used to be the golden boy of school, was the heartthrob in college, once featured in a top magazine as the most eligible bachelor and have a wife who literally eye fucks me. I am just in touch with my reality."

"Eligible bachelor? When?" she asked conveniently ignoring the last fact he mentioned very crudely. Addressing and debating over last accusation was not a wise choice because she was as guilty as charged.

"Three years back. That's how I met Sarah. She was also at the photoshoot of that magazine."

"Oh, your precious friend Sarah Malik." Ruhaani rolled her eyes, mimicking the woman in topic. Aadarsh grinned, noticing the jealousy that expressed it self as mockery.

She paused as a thought clicked in her mind and turned to meet Aadarsh's gaze. "You've known her since three years. She didn't make a move on you?"

Aadarsh regretted giving her the extra detail. He just wanted to see Ruhaani go jealous and territorial on him, he loved that. But the woman was smart, and he had momentarily underestimated her. "She had proposed to me, once." He confessed.

Ruhaani looked at him surprised. "And you tell me that now?"

"It was two years back. And the topic only came up now. I can't recount every proposal I got, can I now? For the record, I got many."

"But you're still in touch with her."

"We're just in the same social circle. It's not like I am actively in touch with her. Besides, how does it matter? I only proposed to you, that's what matters." He once again, tucked back the strands of her hair that the breeze flew across her face.

There it was again, the fluttering feeling in her gut and the feeling of fullness in her heart. Aadarsh knew just how to say the right thing at the right time, and she loved how smooth he was.

"And for the record, you rejected me ...almost. So I am going to hold that against you." He mumbled.

"There many things I hold against you too,"

Aadarsh's fingers paused and he stared at her. "Like?"

"Like, running away to another city after our first fight." That made Aadarsh smile and shake his head. Ruhaani would most probably never let him live that down.

"Like, scolding me right after our first kiss. Like, leaving me cold that night after the reception."

Aadarsh looked at her widening her eyes, taken aback that Ruhaani kept a mental record of that too.

"Like, never taking me to a proper dinner date. Like, writing the sweetest love letter and never having the guts to give it to me."

Aadarsh parted his lips surprised at the last bit of information, as she looked back at him with challenging eyes. He was at a loss of words. He had forgotten about that letter entirely. "You..." he closed his mouth dumbfounded.

"I know Aadarsh. I know." She said softly. "I have read it multiple times and have cherished every bit of it. I just wish you gave it to me instead of finding it by myself amongst your clothes."

Aadarsh took a deep breath. "It was stupid, writing that."

"No. It was romantic and thoughtful. You remembered that I wished to receive live letters."

"But from, Harsh. Not me." Aadarsh sighed. "I was going to give it to you but on the same day you received Harsh's letters from Ojaswin. That day, it struck me that you had something with Harsh that I was trying to ... make about us."

Ruhaani blinked, as tears made it to her eyes. She could feel the struggle Aadarsh hid behind his schooled features. She could relate to that. "When I saw the notes and the letters you wrote to Siddhi and the writings in your diary about her in that box, I wanted that...I wanted you to write your feelings for me like that, with the same passion and stupidity."

Aadarsh who had casted his look down, raised his gaze to look up at her sinking in her words. "Well, then, we're both idiots!"

Ruhaani chuckled, nodding her head, "Absolute idiots!" she turned her back to him, guiding his arms to wrap around her.

"Idiots, head over heels in love!" He whispered, shifting closer to her placing his chin on her shoulder. He then gently kissed her cheek and she smiled.

They were indeed, two idiots— madly, truly and deeply in love. 

• — ♡ — •

Can't wait to read your thoughts on this epilogue.

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Signing Off,

—Anami!♡