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Chapter 6 : proposal 

Aadarsh didn't know from where the mad rush had erupted. It was probably the woman. She was drop dead gorgeous and confident about what she wanted. The moment he had looked at her from across the room he had known she was the most attractive one in the room. A woman who was confident, knew exactly what she wanted and had her way with both words and looks was definitely attractive. Lust had kicked in when he had been conversing with he. It had conquered his mind and he had let it.

It had nothing to do with his brother talking about Siddhi. It had nothing to do with love. It was just the attractive woman before his eyes. She was exactly what a man looking for some casual action would want. The slutry glint in her eyes, the wild curls of her hair that begged to be fisted, the red lips that screamed for attention. It was all a weak man's defeat.

And he had decided to be a weak man for tonight. It was better than talking to Abhi. Abhi somehow always managed to mess up with his mind and give him second thoughts. Plus there was no guessing where his brother would take the conversation to— Siddhi.

An hour later he had walked out of the VIP lounge towards the restroom with the jacket in his hand. He leaned against the sink looking at himself in the mirror. His hair was disheveled, thanks to her fingers. There was a lipstick stain on his cheeks and another on his neck. He had just thrown himself into a pit of lust for a short lived satisfaction, for an escape. The feeling of euphoria never stayed. It was gone as soon as it came.

He filled his palms with water and sprinkled it on his face. Cold drops of water met his warm skin like reality slaps you in the face. He regretted drinking. He never got drunk to the level that he couldn't walk or did something unimaginable. He could hold alcohol well. But the alcohol did make him lose control over his mind, over his need to be in control, over his need to be desired, over his need to do something wrong, something devilish, over his need to break free from the shackles he had draped himself in.

He splashed more water over his face. He had to be more mindful of his actions. He was the eldest one. His siblings looked up to him. What example would he be setting before Abhi by having a random hookup with a girl whose name he had only know when he was thrusting into her. 

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, kicking the tiled wall in frustration.

He took deep breaths composing himself. It was time for damage control. This was a never-ending, never changing cycle. Every random hookup would leave him with guilt. The guilt of not being a perfect man. But the next time he would fall for the trap again. All of it, only for a few minutes of ecstasy, a pleasure that faded as fast as it came and a release that trapped him into the jail of guilt. 

His mother would have never approved. She would be disappointed in him. His phone beeped bringing him out of his chain of thoughts.

Waiting in The Common Lounge. Come at your convenience, whenever you're done.

Aadarsh drew in a sharp breath and then blew it out of his parted lips, after reading that message from his brother. He took a few tissues from the box and cleaned his face. He took another few and wiped the stain off his neck.

He wore the jacket and ran his hand through his hair. His fingers combed his hair roughly. Taking another sharp inhale he blew out air from his mouth and existed the restroom. 

"Ready to go home?" He asked standing behind the couch where his brother sat. He was texting someone and was totally engrossed in the act.

Abhi turned around surprised. "Hey there! That was quicker than I expected." 

"No comments, Abhi." Aadarsh said in a no nonsense tone. Guilt clawed at his mind.

Abhi typed something quickly getting up. "Well at least one of us got laid."

"Shut up!" Aadarsh said walking towards the exit. 

"What was her name? She seemed interested in you."

"Doesn't matter."

"Ooo you can be such a bad ass. I love it. But on a serious note, I thought you genuinely liked her. You were flirting and all. Rarely get to see that. In fact I didn't think you could flirt that smooth."

Adarsh sighed putting his arm around his brother's shoulders. "We are not discussing this. No comments and no questions. Are we clear?"

Abhi chuckled. Aadarsh turned to him perplexed. "What's funny?"

"Nothing. It's just that... a déjà vu hit. You know when we were kids. You broke the neighbor's window when we were playing cricket. And when I started aksing you how we would deal with the crisis, you had said the same thing."

"Wow, you have great memory." Aadarsh muttered as they reached the valet desk.

Abhi handed the person behind the desk the key turning to his brother. "Having you as a partner of crime was so much fun. You were so bad ass, you know the perfect blend of mischievous and intelligent. You'd hop between the line between right and wrong and still by the time we got home you were the stellar kid. It was fun back then. You didn't act like you ...like you were responsible for any of us."

"I was stupid Abhi. Just a boy loosing balance on the slippery floor of boyhood."

Abhi rolled his eyes, "and now what? A man slipping on the slippery floor of manhood. Is that what happened in there?" Abhi raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "Or the floor is woman..."

"Shut the fuck up. Our car is here," Saying that Aadarsh walked ahead towards the car.

"I like it when you are all raw, bro!" He shouted behind him, walking to the car.

"Who were you texting?" Aadarsh spoke up before Abhi could go on to resume their conversation.

"Uh, no one."

Aadarsh fastened his seatbelt and stared at his brother. Abhi felt his brother's gaze and turned to him. "A friend." He answered starting the car's engine, after putting on his seatbelt.

"The same one whose got you feeling like a Romeo?" Aadarsh asked turning off the AC before sliding down the window. It was November and the air was cool. A matter of time and chill of winters would set in.

"It's not that. You won't understand, you have never felt these confusing emotions."

Aadarsh stared out as the cold wind blew on his face. He closed his eyes, simply breathing. He liked the cold. 

"Do you really think a marriage will do you good?" Abhi asked.

"What do you mean?" Aadarsh asked not bothering to turn to his brother.

"I mean you'll no longer get to be frisky once in a while. There will be another person whose responsibility will fall on your shoulders."

Aadarsh blinked as Ruhaani's image popped up in the screen of his mind followed by the image of her daughter. "Two people," Aadarsh corrected his brother. "She has a daughter."

Abhi glanced at his brother taken aback. He wasn't expecting that answer. "You are that sure about her?"

"More or less."

"Then why did you still go ahead and have a casual time with that girl at the bar?"

"I am not engaged yet. She still has to tell me if she's interested. There's nothing wrong ..."

"Huh. Do you feel something for her or not?" Abhi asked.

"No," Aadarsh answered.

"Who am I asking about?"

"Ruhaani duh. I am your elder brother, don't twist words with me."

"Then why do you talk about her with so much surety? I mean there must be something about her that has you so impressed, that has made you make up your mind about getting married to her. I mean it's hard to digest when a man like you who is literally the package a woman wants what to marry someone whose...already given herself to another man once."

"She's a good mother." Aadarsh answered turning to look at his brother. "You should meet her, you will understand."

Abhi looked at his brother and then ahead. His brother was sacrificing himself for the sake of their younger siblings. He didn't know how to knock sense into his brother's mind. He wanted a perfect love story for him. A woman who would love him with all of herself. 

A woman who would put him first in her list. Aadarsh had always put them all first, even before himself. He deserved someone who would make him live for himself. Because he deserved that. He deserved his own love.

* * *

The following Wednesday, Aadarsh was surprised when his Badi Bua called him to say  that Ruhaani's uncle and aunty wanted to meet them that evening. He had arrived promptly at five at his aunt's house. He wondered why Ruhaani hadn't told him anything directly. He hadn't heard from her since the Saturday evening. Aadarsh didn't want to seem desperate by calling her and enquiring about the meeting.

He was surprised when Ruhaani wasn't present along with her aunty and uncle but her cousin Arti was. Greetings were exchanged and then they sat down. Small talks began. Mr. Khatri introduced his daughter to them. Aadarsh was mostly quiet, as he observed the Khatri family while his aunt and uncle spoke to them.

"Actually, we wanted wanted meet to talk about the proposal..." Mr. Khatri spoke up turning to his wife. She subtly shook her head in a negative. There was some sort of silent discord among them, Aadarsh could tell by the way they looked at each other.

"I mean, we didn't hear back after you met Ruhaani beta. So we thought, maybe you don't like her. Which is perfectly okay. I mean not everyone gets along with everyone. And Ruhaani is well ... But we thought maybe you'd like to meet our daughter Arti."

Aadarsh couldn't believe his ears when he heard the man's words. He turned to his Bua who seemed equally shocked. He then looked at the younger woman, Arti. Her gaze was lowered to the floor. 

"Bhaisaab, actually these matters take time, don't they. And Aadarsh only met Ruhaani once." His Bua spoke up to diffuse the bomb their guest had dropped on them. 

"Twice." Mrs. Khatri corrected.

Aadarsh saw his aunt look surprised at receiving the piece of information. She turned to him and he blinked to confirm. "Of course, twice," she said with a smile. Aadarsh knew she'd reprimand him for not telling her that he met Ruhaani again. In fact he was surprised that the news hadn't already traveled from his home to hers. Perhaps Shelly Bua and she had some issue keeping them from reporting every little gossip to each other.

"I like Ruhaani." Aadarsh spoke up to put this topic to an end for now and forever. He was surprised that the Khatris could suggest that they consider their daughter instead of their niece. They were supposed to be Ruhaani's guardian, the parent figures in her life. Seemingly they were not half as good at it.

A pin drop silence filled the room. Arti, the silently sitting girl who had been looking at the floor finally looked up. He forced an apologetic smile across his lips. She passed him an understanding smile. His Bua and Phupha who sat on either side of him had turned to him.

"Oh that's shocking... I mean surprise for us." Mr. Khatri forced a laugh. "For us both the girls are like our daughters. So whether you like Ruhi or Arti, it makes no difference. It's a yes from our side too."

Aadarsh stared at him. He highly disapproved of double faced people. He observed how Mrs. Khatri played a  strained smile on her lips and grasped his husband's arm. 

"What about Ruhaani?" Badi Bua asked. "I mean, she's not here. And ultimately even she has to..."

"It's her wish, of course Bhaabhi Ji." Mr. Khatri spoke up. "She's told us so much about Aadarsh puttar.  She likes him, very much. She had given her yes, the first time she met him."

Aadarsh smiled politely. Mr. Khatri wasn't just double faced but also a terrible people pleaser and liar, was what Aadarsh had concluded from their little meeting. Ruhaani had made it pretty clear she wasn't interested in him the night they met.

She had changed her mind later on perhaps.

"Okay then, if both the kids have said yes then let's do the Roka. Aadarsh?"

"Uhh, I think we should talk to Ruhaani once. Besides, Abhi and Ashvi haven't met Ruhaani yet. I would like them all to meet first. We can then decide."

"Well said Puttar Ji," Mr Khatri spoke up. "Maybe we can have dinner together this weekend. "

"Yes, I think that's a good idea. Let's meet over dinner on this Saturday." His Bua said and then turned to him for approval.

"Yes, dinner at my place, is a good idea." He spoke up. 

"Dinner it is then." Mr. Khatri declared with a wide smile reaching for the cutlet.

* * *

"Hello," came the voice from the phone.

"Hi, Ruhaani, it's Aadarsh." 

'Yes, I read the contact name', Ruhaani wanted to say but simply said 'hi'

"I met your uncle and aunt today. They were at Badi Bua's place for tea."

"Oh," Ruhaani exclaimed surprised and then quickly added, "of course, they were." She had no clue what her Chacha Chachi were upto. Had they gone and accepted the proposal? They couldn't wait for her to even think.

"They said they're ready to go ahead with this...they said it was a yes from you." He spoke slowly. Did she know they had come with Arti's proposal and she just covering up for them or was she unaware?

Ruhaani closed her eyes. She needed some more time. But apparently her uncle and aunt couldn't wait to kick her out of their house. "Yes, I said a yes." She said slowly. 

"Hmm, I think before we seal the deal you should meet the rest of my family. I have already met yours."

"Hmm,"

"You're all invited to dinner this Saturday at my place."

"Okay, we'll be there." She said meekly. At least she had a few days to make up her mind. She hated how she wasn't given the time. But seemingly this offer was available for limited period. Aadarsh wanted to get married soon. If she didn't say a definitive yes, he'd move on to the next person he found and her uncle and aunt would have another reason to taunt her with. Ultimately she might have to settle for someone else. Someone who could be worse than all the guys she had met so far.

"See you then."

"Bye," she said softly ending the call. 

* * *

Ruhaani had always been on her own. She had to make her own decisions. She had to be her own motivator. She had to have her own back. She could trust no one out there. She had always been grateful to her aunt and uncle for letting her stay under their roof. She didn't have to be in an orphanage. She had a few friends who were orphans raised in orphanage and sadly their life wasn't easy. It was harsh.

She always felt grateful to her uncle and aunt for taking her in. At least they didn't treat her badly. Yes, they were unfair. Yes, they made it very clear by the way the spoke that they were doing charity. But it wasn't that bad. There were few moments when she would get some motherly warmth from her aunt. She couldn't say the same about her uncle. He hated her. She had take time to digest it. She was his brothers daughter. How could he hate her so much? Still the fact that he kept her under the same roof was enough reason for her to be grateful to him.

When she had married Harsh, she had so many dreams. She was waiting for her life to turn around. Harsh was the prince charming to her Cindrella. She hadn't known that life had another evil twist waiting for her.

Since then to now, Ruhaani had finally grown up. She had understood that only she could save herself. No one else would. God only helped those who helped themselves. So here she was, ready to do just that. 

She was dressed in her favorite parrot green kurta, leggings set. She wore the dupatta on one side and had matched the dress with dreamcatcher shaped metal earrings. She picked up the comb and drew a middle part and then took two tiny sections behind each temple and twisted them towards the middle pinning them to create a half-pony effect. She placed a tiny bindi between her eyebrows and with that she was done.

She analyzed her look in the mirror. Saturday had come all too soon. She braced herself for all the drama the evening had in store for her. On second thoughts she applied a slighlt darker shade of brown lipstick than the light pink. She didn't want to look any less in front of Aadarsh. That man was blessed with the body and looks of a model. She would never be able to look good enough to match him. But at least she could look her best.

"Arti, Ruhaani, we are getting late!" Came her Chachi's voice from the living room. Ruhaani grabbed her sling purse and  switched off the lights of the room before stepping out. She was surprised when Arti stepped out of her room wearing her new red anarkali dress that she had bought this Diwali. Her hair curled into loose waves. Arti never did make up generally but today she had and she looked beautiful. Her eyes were highlighted with black liner.

"Looking gorgeous!" Ruhaani remarked getting to her cousin's side. 

"Talking about yourself?" Arti asked with a smile.

Ruhaani chuckled. Arti had always been humble.

"I don't know why I have to deck up like this. It's your marriage talk and mom has dressed me up like I am the one whose going to get hitched." 

Ruhaani 's smile dropped. Now that explained why her aunt wasn't in her room as usual to tell her what to wear. Because she was helping Arti get dressed. Ruhaani smiled as her Chachi ran her fingertip along her eyelid and put a black dot behind Arti's ear. "You look so pretty!"

Ruhaani moved passed them to wear her footwear.

Ruhaani quietly walked around the car and settled onto the seat where her daughter was already present. "I saw a squirrel!" The little girl told her and began narrating how the squirrel had jumped down from the tree and moved to the other one.

Ruhaani maintained a smile not able to attentively listen to her daughter's story with an equal enthusiasm. She glanced at Arti whi was beung told by her mother to talk about herself modestly. 

It wasn't hard to figure out .They were trying to pitch Arti as her competition, as the other option. She wondered how she hadn't caught that earlier. Her uncle had brought it up when she had expressed no desire to go on with the proposal the first time. He wanted Aadarsh for Arti.

She looked out of the window. Arti and her always shared a special bond despite everything, despite how her parents treated her like an outsider. They were close as any two cousins would be. They weren't best friends, but they were friends enough to look out for each other and only wish the best for each other. 

Ruhaani picked up her phone and texted Arti.  "Do your parents want you to impress Aadarsh?" She was irritate and angered. She couldn't think of sugarcoating her question.

Arti's phone beeped and she quickly unlocked and read the message. She turned to her cousin who was glancing at her, from the other end of the seat. 

"They were until Wednesday. But now Maa says that he has a younger brother, so I might catch his eye. How do I tell her I am not interested in a marriage right now? I want to go the US for masters?"

Ruhaani took a minute to register the message. Until Wednesday she had mentioned. It made sense now, why they didn't tell her and took Arti along that day.

As soon as the car stopped, Ruhaani got off the car and helped Pari out  she then quickly walked around to Arti. 

"Did they talk about you to them for Aadarsh on Wednesday?"

Arti looked apologetic and hesitantly nodded her head. "I didn't have a choice. You know them," she said softly turning to adjust her dupatta. 

Ruhaani sighed. She had no clue what Aadarsh or his family would think of that. She wouldn't be surprised if they thought their family had a gold digger mentality. Why hadn't he told her about that too? Why did he hide that from her? Where was his straight forward, honest attitude now?

"But Aadarsh plainly said he likes you. He was clear about that. Maa and Paa made the whole thing so awkward. Mostly Paa. But you know how Maa never says no to anything he says. But Aadarsh and his Bua had quickly changed the topic. There was not much said."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ruhaani asked irritated.

"Because I didn't want to upset you."

"Arti, Ruhaani, Pari, come along girls!" They heard Mrs. Khatri's call.

"I am sorry," Arti said softly as Ruhaani held Pari's hand.

"What did Maasi do?" Pari asked confused.

"Nothing Pari," Ruhaani said softly. "Come on,"

"Whose house is this?"

"My friend's. The one we met in the park, do you remember?"

"Yes, Aadi. He helped me build a house."

"Aadi?"

"Yes, he said I could call him that."

Ruhaani blinked. Well, seemingly, her daughter had missed to tell him this piece of information that day. Well everyone seemed to have something they had not told her. 

• — • — •

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