Ruhaani Khatri wasn't a pessimist but she was a realist. She had learned very early on that life was not designed to be fair. So she never complained about life not treating her well and accepted whatever life threw at her. Life would throw lemons at her sometimes even hardened ones, but it was up to her what she decided to do with them make juice or store them as weapons that she could use at a time of need. 

It was yet another new day. Today had the potential to either alter her life's course or remain just like any other day, marked by the cycle of sunrise, sunset, and invisible stars. She did think about it but chose to not let it mess with her nerves.

She leaned closer to the mirror as she applied the lip color. It was a dull shade of pink. It went well with her kurti and straight pants. She had just finished tying her waist length espresso brown hair tied into a low ponytail. When she was little she hated the fact that she didn't have the natural waves or curls. But now she was so thankful for her naturally straight hair it didn't take much time to style them. Her cousin Arti whose hair was of a similar length took about ten minutes to only comb through her waves and another five to tie them up or plait them, when she was at her best efforts. 

"Why have you worn that dress? Light colors make you look older. Should have worn something in red or that royal blue kurti, you look nice in that." Her aunt commented as she walked into the room to check on her.

"Chachi, relax."

"At least you could have chosen a red lip color. Do me a favor, take it and apply it before meeting him. It's not everyday such a rich man sends requests to meet with marriage in mind.

"His Bua sent the message." She corrected.

"But obviously he told her he was interested to meet you. Here wear these."

Ruhaani turned around and her gaze dropped to the hands of her aunt. She held two heavy gold bangles in her hand.

"What are these for?" She said her tone softening. 

"They shouldn't think that we are not that well to do. You don't wear gold earrings at least wear these."

"Chachi, there's no need."

"Listen to me, Ruhaani. Today's dinner meeting can change the course of your life. Give it your best shot. If you marry this man, yours and Pari's life will be sorted."

"I know Chachi." She said softly.

"I hope he is a nice man and you like him."

Ruhaani smiled. "I won't wear these. You should keep these back in the locker. Only Arti has right on them."

Her aunt passed her a small smile. She nodded and left the room.

Ruhaani blew air out of her mouth.  She loved those designed gold bangles. They used to belong to her grandmother. Since her parents were gone before her grandmother, her grandmother had passed it to her aunt on her twenty-fifth anniversary and asked her to pass it down to her kids. It was a petty matter that had made her feel bad. But again, she was used to the harsh taunts and obvious neglect that came with being an orphan first and then a widow.

 She walked over to the bed where her little angel slept. She smiled and gently stroked her soft hair calling out to her to wake her up. "Come on princess, wake up,"

"Mummy," she murmured turning away.

"Oye, sleeping beauty wake up. You will be late for school."

"I don't want to go to school."

"Pari, good girls go to school. Come on wake up. If you're late then Nana will drop you to school not me on his scooter."

At once the girl was up. "Don't go, I want to go with you." She said hugging her.

Ruhaani chuckled, "Okay, let's get ready quickly."

About thirty minutes later, Ruhaani was combing the four year oldest hair while the latter ate the poha her granny had made.

"Mom, you will be home early today?"

"No sweetie. Mumma has work. But I will come and hug you like a big fuzzy wuzzy bear. "

The little girl frowned. But as soon as her mother's fingers tickled her she burst out with laughter. "Mumma, no tickling."

"Oh yes tickling."

A soft 'No' escaped from her lips between thick giggles.

"Yes" 

Ruhaani smiled hugging the little angel. God knew she needed that hug. It was odd how a tiny human being could be the source of her strength. 

"You look pretty." The girl said touching the silver peacock earrings her mother wore. "My favorite peacock earrings."

"Yes, your favorite. Now you eat what your Naani has made while I pack your tiffin ." Ruhaani said.

About an hour later Ruhaani was driving to her workplace after droppingher daughter at the preschool. She worked in the marketing division of Womanica  Private Limited as an Associate Analyst. Her job wasn't as grand as it sounded and the salary was barely adequate for her experience and skills. She also worked at a nearby store as an accountant, usually for four hours in the evening. It was moonlighting but she had to do it in order to make ends meet.

 As it was her uncle wasn't quite happy about her staying with them. He treated her as an unnecessary burden and didn't make it secret at home. Before the relatives and neighbors, however, he flipped and appeared as a man of extraordinary family values and virtues. 

Her uncle was the primary reason she was looking forward to a marriage. Her expectations from marriage were not many. Firstly, she just wanted someone who could respect her and her daughter and give them a bit of stability. Lastly, she wanted Pari to have a father. 

She unlocked her phone going back to the pictures of the man. He was what a popular fiction author may describe as tall, dark and handsome. His bio-data had declared his height to be six two. He had done his masters from London. He was the Chairman of some construction company. 

She stared at his image. She wondered if she was supposed to feel anything looking at the man. He had dark eyes, eyes that reminded her of a cold dark eerie night. His hair was a mass of jet black. He sported a moderately thick beard. He looked older than twenty eight. Perhaps a thirty-three or thirty-four. He might have lied about his age. Or not. She wasn't going to make blind judgments, at least not yet.

Nonetheless, she was intrigued. Why would a man of his kind send a proposal for her? She had put the ugliest possible photo of herself  from around three years ago on the bio-data she had prepared and given to her aunt and had additionally made sure to highlight the words single mother in bold. Aadarsh Sehgal was a rich businessman, who could charm the most gorgeous women of the town by his scores in looks and balance in bank account. Why did he chose her? 

She couldn't wait to know. She was particularly looking forward to the evening. If not a prospective groom she'd at least be able to solve the mystery of this man.

* * *

Ruhaani couldn't recollect the last time she had been on a date. She was just in time at the five star Indian Restobar for their rendezvous. She made her way to the far end of the room as the waitresses had directed her. She looked around and felt a little plainly dressed. Perhaps she should have taken the advice of her aunt and worked on her appearance. 

Just as she looked around the room, a man bumped into her, he seemed seemingly drunk. Her phone slipped out of her hand with the impact of the collision.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his hand resting on her arm above the elbow moving up to her shoulder. At once, Ruhaani pulled her arm back and stepped away from him. The man smiled at her sheepishly. Men could be such jerks.

She crouched down and picked up her phone. Thankfully she had chosen a very firm phone cover and screen guard. There was nearly no impact from the fall on her smart phone.

"So sorry. Is your phone okay?" The man asked stepping forward bending his head forward to inspect her phone. He reeked of alcohol.

"Yes, yes it's okay." Ruhaani uttered stepping back. She hurriedly made her way forward. She despised men like that, who didn't hesitate to invade a woman's personal space. Her instinct told her that the man had intentionally touched her. But there was no way she could be sure. She took a deep breath looking around. 

It didn't take long to spot a man sitting alone at a table amidst a sea of occupied ones. He was engrossed in typing something on his phone.

"Mister Aadarsh Sehgal?" She asked standing near the table. On second thoughts, she could have just said Aadarsh, she reconsidered.

He glanced up, his dark eyes almost instantly locking onto her light brown ones. His gaze subtly traversed her entire figure as he rose from his seat. "Hi, Ruhaani?"

She nodded. "Hi," she repeated, pulling her lips into a smile.

Aadarsh was taken aback for a moment. The woman before his eyes was nothing like her photograph, in a good way. He gestured her to sit. They looked at each other and then quickly around lost in the many workings of their respective minds.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long," she spoke.

"No, not at all." He didn't find the need to tell her that he had scheduled two meetings at the same place and that he was done with his previous meeting with a client just ten minutes ago. 

"Shall we order starters?" He asked.

"Sure," she smiled. She watched him as he turned his head and raised his hand to beckon a waiter. He didn't look as good as he looked in his photograph, she thought. His beard needed a trim just as his hair.

"So, umm, you're a non-vegetarian?" He broke her thoughts.

"Yes."

As soon as the waiter arrived, he asked the waiter what were their specialities and the man narrated a list of items.

"Something that's not very spicy," Aadarsh spoke up.

"Malai Chicken Tikka is not spicy."

He turned to Ruhaani. "Works for me." She said.

"Soup? Drink?"

"I will go with coke." She answered.

"One cream of spinach soup and coke." Aadarsh added to their order.

"Bhaiya, please make sure you put a lot of onions on the side." She added.

He exchanged a glance with her before turning his attention to the waiter. The waiter reiterated their order and departed, leaving them to contemplate their main course. In silence, they sat there, intermittently stealing glances at each other and then returning their attention to the menu card before them.

"What is your usual preference?" Ruhaani spoke up to put to an end the awful silence.

He stared at her, blankly.

"Food," she prompted, wondering if her question was unclear.

"Uh, anything that doesn't burn my mouth is fine."

Ruhaani mentally gave him a negative point for that. Wrong answer. She asked for preference. "What do you think we should order? I am thinking mushrooms, or kofta or mix veg handi.."

"Mix veg works." He abruptly cut her list of options short.

"Okay."

"Rice or ..."

"Roti for me."  He answered going through the drinks on the menu. The cocktails looked pretty interesting. Who was he kidding? He felt nervous, something he hadn't felt in quite sometime. It wasn't his first time going out on a date, but he couldn't shake the peculiar feeling. This date was different; it wasn't about acquiring a client or a contract. It was as genuine as it could possibly be.

She stared at him thoughtfully. He finally looked up at her. 

"Is this your first time? I mean meeting for marriage?" She mused aloud.

"Sort of, yours?" He blinked, realization struck. He quickly added, "Of course not, right?" She had been married before. She had probably attended meetings like this also before. He hated that she had an advantage of rich experience among the two of them.

She smiled at him. "Yes, not my first. In fact, I was curious when a first timer like you sent a request to meet. I have been doing this for the past two months and it was always a divorcee or a widower siting before me, someone who had done this way too many times already."

"How many?"

"Three, this month," she answered, picking up the glass of water.

He said nothing. He was still wondering how to approach the entire conversation.

"Fulfil my curiosity, why did you chose me?" She asked.

He shrugged. "For the record, it's not  exactly my first time for this marriage thing. It's my second, and... is it a bad thing if I picked you?"

"No, not at all. Just a little hard to digest nothing else." She dismissed with an awkward smile.

He placed both his arms on the table and leaned forward. "Tell me about yourself. About your family. About your expectations from a marriage."

His questions were all direct and personal. However she picked each and answered them honestly. Thinking over the last bit she decided to skip that and ask him a question instead. "What about you and your family?"

"I lead my grandfather's company. I have four siblings for my family. They are my world."

"Your father?"

His jaw muscles tensed at the question. "He's not doing well health-wise. So he stays at a care center."

"Oh, I am so sorry to hear that."

He nodded.

"I lost my parents when I was quite young. My uncle and aunt have raised me."

He nodded. "What about your husband?" He asked looking up at her.

"I lost him a month after our marriage." She said. He was disturbed by the fact that  there was not even a tiny bit pain or sorrow in her eyes. Shouldn't it have been there? 

"That's tragic." He said softly.

She smiled, "how I was treated as a bad omen was more tragic."

He was just thinking whether he should reply to that or ask his next question when the waiter arrived with their order. They watched on as the waiter served them. He looked at her as she smiled and answered when the waiter asked her if she'd prefer ice in her drink.

"Why don't you and your daughter stay with your in-laws?" he spoke up as soon as the waiter retreated after taking their order for dinner.

"Like I said, they thought it was me who killed their son. I was the bad omen in their son's life. It wasn't his passion for fighting in the border that took his life." She sounded bitter. 

"That's unfortunate. They don't talk to your daughter as well?"

"They believe she's not their son's and I let them."

"Why?" He asked looking right into her eyes. Was she saying the truth or was she involved with someone else?

"Because I wanted her to stay with me and have nothing to do with that family. Anyways, it was only a daughter not a son, so they'd be better off without any heir. She was born in the tenth month, which gave me an advantage. "

"How old is she?" He asked looking a little confused.

"Four, she's in preschool."

"You are twenty seven now?" He looked for a confirmation. 

"Yes," she answered with as much as confidence she could.

"You married at twenty-two?" He asked as his mind started putting together a timeline in his head.

"No,  twenty-four," she answered watching him. The wheels of his mind were spinning fast.She could tell that he had figured a loophole. She decided to speak up before he questioned it.

"I am twenty nine, actually." She said. "My aunty put the wrong age on the biodata. Apparently twenty-nine is not quite attractive on a matrimonial portal."

"Ah, that explains it." He said as her answer corrected the equation in his head.

She smiled at him. He was smart, she'd give him that. She picked up the leg piece of chicken on her plate dipped it in the chutney and bit into it. Looking at her, he ditched the fork he had just grabbed and used his fingers instead.

"The chicken's pretty well cooked." She commented chewing.

"The taste is pretty good." He agreed.

"What about your siblings? Are they all married and settled or are they studying?"

"I am the eldest. My brother Abhimanyu is an engineer, he is working at a US based firm here in Gurgaon. My sister Ashvi is pursuing her Bachelors in fashion. And my youngest sibling, they are fraternal twins, they are in fourth grade."

"Fourth grade?" She asked surprised. 

"Yes, we have about eighteen years of age difference."

"Oh," she nodded. She wasn't expecting that. They were five in total. That was a quite a big family. How did a couple decide to have that many kids? Raising one was a tough job in itself she couldn't imagine what raising five would be like.

"I am more of  a father figure to them than an elder brother." He spoke, pushing aside the half filled bowl of soup. It didn't quite taste that good, the spinach had a slight pungent taste. He helped himself to another piece of the malai tikka.

"So, like, you raised them?"

"Yeah we all do. We have Dai Jaan at home. She's like family been with us for about a  decade. She takes care of their day to day needs. And then Shelly Bua, she is my dad's youngest sister she stays with us too."

"Oh, and Rajjo Aunty, the one who spoke to my Chachi?" She asked curiously. 

"She's my dad's elder sister, Badi Bua, she stays towards Noida."

"Oh, okay."

"So you've been born and brought up here?" He asked.

"Yes. Never stepped out of the NCR. What about you?"

"Mostly here. I did Masters from London but other than that mostly been here."

A silence fell once again and before they could think of what to talk, the waiter arrived with their main course. In silence they began eating. 

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you getting married now? I mean it's been roughly five years since your last marriage. Just curious."

"I don't have a proper answer to that. Initially, I thought I could be a single mother and it would be fine. But over the years, I have realized it's not the best option for Pari. I would like her to have a father, someone who can be there for her when I fail." She answered honestly, looking at him. His gaze remain fixated on her eyes.

"That's important," he remarked after a moment of thought.

"What are the qualities that you'd definitely want your partner to have?" 

He put a morsel into his mouth and looked back at her thoughtfully. "Someone who has complete integrity, a strong maternal instinct and who can care for my siblings as much as I do."

She listened carefully but said nothing. She quietly ate a few bites and then spoke up, "you're looking for someone who can be a mother figure to your younger siblings?" She asked taking a guess.

"Sort of."

"That's the reason, isn't it? The reason why you chose me. Because I am a mother."

"Look, I have gone out on casual dates with women, I even met this girl a week or something back with marriage in mind. She had a lot of expectations from me and I couldn't picture her as someone who'd treat my younger siblings as a mother figure. I mean, I am pretty close to them, in fact to all of them. Nirvan and Mukti are like my own kids. And if a woman can't accept that, and if she can't complement my responsibility towards them then I can't accept her."

"So she said no?"

"No, she had different topics to discuss in her mind. There was not much conversation and it didn't go far enough to talk about this."

Ruhaani nodded, and took a spoonful of the rice they had ordered on second thoughts. The flavors in the pulao were strong and pleasing. She raised her gaze to find him focusing on his plate. He was a neat eater and a straightforward man.

"It's not easy to accept other people's kids. What are your thoughts on that?" She asked, helping herself to another half piece of the tandoori roti.

He looked up at her. "Relationships are a two way street. If I am going to expect something from you, I am going to make sure I can fulfill your expectation. And about parenting. I may not be great, but I know the basics, how it works. I have practically seen my siblings grow up from babies to school kids. About acceptance, that takes time but once one is willing it's not hard."

She smiled at that, "you like kids?"

"Depends."

"On?" She prompted 

"The kids." He shrugged.

She couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled inside her. 

He stared at her. He had answered honestly. It wasn't a joke, not even close. "I meant it," he said giving her a solemn look.

"Yeah" She murmured, covering her mouth with the napkin. "It was just... I mean I found it a bit funny. Don't bother. Anyway, tell me what you want from a life partner... for you?"

He grabbed the glass of water and drank from it, to buy himself some time. "I think one must keep expectations to a bare minimal, you don't get disappointed."

"I echo that thought." She said immediately.

"Looks like we have quite a lot common between us."

"Hmm, but you come from a very well to-do family. I come from a middle class famliy. You know what people will call me...? Plus to add to that, I am a single mother. I don't think it will work out."

"People always talk and they always will. It's upto you if you want to listen to them and pay heed to their nonsense or turn a deaf ear to them."

"I know. Only that it's easier said than done." She passed him a polite smile and focused on her food. She looked at her phone as it lit up with a notification. All she could think of was finishing her dinner and getting home soon. Aadarsh came from a world that was very different from hers. Although his side of the grass was greener, Ruhaani wasn't ready to cross the line. Something told her that she must stay inside her zone, stepping out would be utter foolishness because she'd be a fish out of water. 

• — • — •

Would love to read you thoughts and first impressions of Ruhaani and her life.

—Anami!♡